~Chapter Thirty-One~
Never Say Goodbye
"Is Katie going to be alright?!"
Emily, looking utterly exhausted, glanced through the cracked door and across the hospital room at her sleeping daughter, then sighed heavily. "Yes, the Pediatrician came in and checked her over, as did the on-call ER doctor, and both have looked at the X-Rays of her lungs and chest." Emily's eyes welled up with tears as she looked at her best friend.
"And?" Rose whispered, feeling like she was going to pass out. "Is she going to be okay?"
"Thanks to you, yes, she will. I know it's because of you that my daughter is in perfect health. They said it's a miracle she's alright, because of how incredibly involved the fire was, and they expected her to breathe in more smoke but there isn't any evidence of it in her lungs. The doctors want to keep her overnight just to be safe."
Rose closed her eyes in relief and leaned against the wall in the hallway, tears welling up in her own eyes. Brooklyn dropped her off at Manhattan General ER and was waiting outside the window on the roof whenever and if ever Emily gave him the go-ahead to come in. Chris was sleeping in the window seat with a hospital blanket draped over himself, while Emily probably insisted sleeping in a chair, right next to Katie.
Seeing her best friend in this predicament, homeless and her daughter in the hospital- all because of her- was heart wrenching. Tears spilled out of Rose's eyes and she couldn't seem to breathe.
"Hey… it's okay." Emily whispered, opening her arms and pulling her into a hug.
"It's all my fault, Em. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
"It's not your fault, Rose! How could you even say that?" Emily whispered, rubbing her back. "You saved Katie. You and Brooklyn… thank you! I'm also so thankful that Brooklyn healed you and that you are doing better! You look great!"
Unable to take it anymore, Rose pulled away from her, wiping her eyes. "Em… there's more to this than you realize. And as much as I hate myself for it I have to tell you the truth."
Emily blinked in surprise. "What are you talking about?"
Rose opened her mouth to speak but stopped when Chris suddenly opened the hospital door and came out into the bright hallway, blinking and trying to wake up.
"Hey, I thought I heard Rose's voice." He mumbled tiredly to Emily, looked up at her; but then froze.
His blue eyes widened and looked her up and down in shock at her 'miraculous' healing. She changed into different clothes when she had Brooklyn swing her by their house before coming here, and threw her long hair up into a messy bun again. Despite her desperately needing to shower, she was also in perfect health once again.
"Rose…!" Chris gasped, now completely awake. "What?!… I don't…" he looked at her and then over at Emily, mouthing his astonishment, before he choked out, "How?!"
Rose took a deep breath; bracing herself for this moment.
"Come on. Let's talk out in the Cafeteria courtyard. Katie should be okay, the nurses can watch over her. You said we needed to talk anyway, and I too have much to talk to you guys about."
At that, Rose turned away and let them deal with telling a nurse where they would be, before they followed her out, a few floors down, to the outdoor courtyard; where her and Emily often would eat lunch together while on shift. She kept her eyes to the night sky and asked Brooklyn to join them through their soul bond, and when she felt a gentle tickle along her cheek, as if he trailed a talon there, she knew he understood.
Emily and Chris walked out towards her a few seconds later, and Rose turned to face them. It was past one AM at this point, and to their luck, no one was around to overhear their conversation. The lights from the hospital and the full moon were the only things lighting their little party.
"What is all this about, Rose?" Chris asked, walking up to her. "How the hell have you healed so quickly? Last I saw, you were completely battered…!"
"I promise that I'll explain everything." She said. "But first… I want you to better meet my husband."
Chris kept staring at her with narrowed eyes, but then looked past her when they all felt a whoosh of air behind them. Just then, heavy footsteps landed on the cobblestone tile around them as Brooklyn landed in the courtyard. Chris' eyes went large as he gasped and started to back away in terror.
"Ohhh my GOD!"
"Shhh, babe. It's okay." Emily instantly said, stepping up behind him and grasping his shoulders. "He won't hurt you."
Brooklyn warily stood up from a crouch to his full height, looked around the courtyard and made sure they were alone, then wrapped his wings around his shoulders and came up to stand behind Rose. Chris looked between them with wide eyes, and remembered her bizarre explanation. Apparently that Gargoyle was Brooklyn- her husband. He remembered everything else she told him back at the beach, that he saved her life, saved Emily's, and now saved Katie's… but everything else was a lie.
This creature, who was Rose's husband, was not a military member like Emily and Rose had told him, the grave-yard 'shift' thing made sense, but he wasn't a man. He wasn't even a human, and that unnerved him greatly. He had heard enough about the Gargoyles over the news, and even though he was skeptical about what the news put out, there was enough film footage and police stand-offs involving them, that he had grown more believing that they were monsters who were up to no good.
Rose smiled at Chris, who was glaring at Brooklyn with great distrust, and took his claw in her hand. Chris' eyes widened even more at that public display of affection, and truly couldn't understand how she was being so casual about being with a male from a different species.
"Chris… we didn't get to have the chance for proper introductions." Rose said. "But this is Brooklyn, my husband. Brook? Meet Chris."
Brooklyn gave him a friendly smile, nodded and said, "Nice to finally meet you, Chris. I've been anxious to meet you since Emily and Katie are already a part of our family."
Chris stayed silent, frozen, until Brooklyn mentioned his daughter. He whipped over to look at Emily and demanded, "Katie's met him?!"
"Just last night." Rose said for her. "But she's known about him a lot longer without both Em's and my knowledge. She just kinda…" she paused and glanced up at Brooklyn with a loving smile, "figured it out all by herself, I guess."
At this, Chris crossed his arms and suddenly advanced on Emily again, showing signs of his temper that he rarely got, but was nasty when he did.
"When were you going to let me in on all of this, Emily? Huh?! When were you planning to tell me that our best friend has married a FREAK and are exposing our child to him?!"
"Chris… I…"
"He's not a freak." Rose instantly snapped. "And don't yell at her, Chris. If you are pissed, then get after me. We didn't tell you for this very exact reason, and I won't talk with you unless you calm down and be reasonable about this." She paused, took a deep breath and decided to try to de-escalate him. "Please."
"Be reasonable?" Chris yelled. "Rose… you married a Gargoyle for God's sake! How can you possibly just expect me to accept that? To accept him?!" He threw Brooklyn a filthy look, who stood silently behind Rose and didn't react to the name-calling or disgusted looks. It hurt her knowing that he was probably used to that type of reaction from humans. She opened her mouth to speak, but Emily stepped forward and placed her hand on his shoulder.
"Because he saved our daughter's life, Chris." Emily whispered. "Doesn't that selfless action towards Katie entitle him to a moment of your time and understanding?"
Chris stared down Brooklyn and Rose in a continued glare for a moment, but Emily's soft touch and words seemed to pull him out of it, and instantly, his eyes softened and he let out a huge sigh.
"Alright. I'm listening. But tell us everything, Rose. The truth, the full truth. No more short-cuts and no more lies."
Rose nodded, looked over at Brooklyn and gave a huge sigh of her own. "Okay… well… where to begin?"
"How about at the beginning?" Chris offered, and with a nervous smile, Rose complied.
By the time she told Chris and Emily the full story about hers and Kevin's abusive marriage, and explained everything from her meeting and falling in love with Brooklyn, what the Gargoyles really did for the public, her magic and ability to heal, hers and Brooklyn's mating bond, the Draugr, her magical parents, Hel and Avalon, and Kevin coming back to life; she had a massive headache and could only imagine how Chris and Emily felt. She could hardly look at Chris' expression of true horror, because saying her story out loud made her feel like she was truly insane.
Knowing they were on a time crunch, she then wasted no time and quickly told them about the Draugr attack at their house tonight, and how she tried to stop them from attacking Katie. How things got out of hand and she had to use her magic to kill the Draugr by flames, where their house then caught on fire. Then she told them about Kevin attacking her, Brooklyn saving her and Katie… and how she stopped breathing, but she brought her back with her magic; fully healed.
Biting her lip, Rose dared to look at them now that the full truth was out there, and their faces were just as horrible as she thought they would be… if not worse.
Chris and Emily's faces were as white as sheets. She had told Emily quickly, back at the alleyway, that Katie stopped breathing and that she healed her, but she didn't tell her the full detail of how close they all were to dying this night. How close their innocent daughter was close to death… all because of her.
By the end of her long story, all of them had found chairs to sit in and Rose was glad for it. Chris looked like he was either going to vomit or pass out, while Emily had remained silent and was as still as a statue- with no emotions and no movements with her body. She was just… frozen. Rose didn't know how much time had passed, but it was obvious by the look on her best friend's faces, that this could possibly be the last conversation she would ever have with them. She planned for this though; for the heartbreak from their anger and hatred towards her and Brooklyn… and just wished to have it over with already.
Minutes passed after she finished her story, and still, no one had said anything. So she decided to kick start it again.
"Look… I know how insane this all sounds, Chris and Emily, and I'm so sorry! Never in a million years would I ever endanger you guys or Katie. Never. But… I should have known that something like this would have happened eventually. Kevin knew too much about you guys, and how much your family means to me, and I'm more sorry than I can say that you all got caught up in this mess." She paused as tears welled up in her eyes, and was thankful when Brooklyn gently reached his claw down and took her hand from under the table. An action that Chris and Emily obviously saw. Rose squeezed back, then looked up at them; her voice box and throat constricted with emotion.
"I blame myself for what happened tonight, and I'll never forgive myself for being the reason they attacked your home, endangered your daughter, and made you homeless… all in one night. All I can say is that I'm sorry. Truly. I'm also sorry for all the lies, but my life… has gotten very complicated in a short amount of time, and I just wanted to keep one normal thing in my life the same." She paused, more tears fell down her face and her voice shook. "My life has changed a great deal since I married Kevin. And it was the worst few months… but then when I found Brooklyn and his Clan, I've never been happier. Never been more in love and never thought that this is where my life would end up. Never did I think that I was a magical being… but here I am, in front of you… a new Rose, a new woman. Yes, I'm different, but I'm still the same girl who loves you both and Katie bug so incredibly much. I understand if you don't or won't forgive me, and nor do I ask for your forgiveness, but please just know that everything I've done is to protect you all. That's all I've ever tried to do for anyone."
At this point, Emily was crying silently and placed her hand on her mouth, while Chris stared hard at Rose with a thinly- lined mouth. More seconds passed in tense silence and even Rose could sense Brooklyn's uneasiness.
"Please say something."
"What's there to say?" Chris finally said, messing with the metal table and picking the paint off. "I feel like I've wandered down the hallway and entered the asylum."
"I know it all sounds so crazy, but I promise you, it's the truth!" Rose gasped. "Why else would Brooklyn be sitting here beside me if it wasn't? If he wasn't my husband and mate, and all of this crap true with Kevin and the Draugr? With magic?"
Chris ran a hand through his already disheveled hair and shook his head.
"Unbelievable." He muttered, then quickly stood up. "Look Rose… it's gonna take some time for me to wrap my head around this, and I truly don't know what to say about your story. So, I'll stick with what's happened tonight and the involvement of my family." He paused, and she could feel his rage finally coming through at her. The rage she had anticipated the whole time coming to the hospital.
"I entrusted my family to you tonight, Rose." He snapped coldly. "And while I always believed that you wouldn't let anything bad happen to them, something bad already has happened, and as much as it pains me to say this… it is your fault."
"Chris… " Emily said tearfully, as if trying to defend her, but he waved his hand around them and blew up.
"Our daughter is in the FUCKING hospital right now because of her, and our house is reduced down to soot and ash!" He whipped around and pointed an enraged finger at Rose; which somehow physically ripped into her chest. "So, NO! You don't get my forgiveness, at least not right now!"
"I know." Rose said through her tears, and was wanting to disappear. But to her surprise, Brooklyn finally stood up and faced Chris, who recoiled slightly from him.
"It's not her fault, Chris." He said calmly. "Rose never meant for any of this to happen… and in the nine months I've known her, she has been nothing but loyal and protective of you, your wife and your daughter. She loves you guys… you are her family, and family is not something she ever takes lightly. Rose had no say in Kevin's actions against her, and tonight, she fought tooth and nail- almost dying herself- to protect your daughter."
Chris wrinkled his face up in disgust, turned away from Brooklyn and seemed to be losing his nerve. Brooklyn stood his ground, remaining calm and pleasant, and a few minutes more passed in silence.
Finally, Chris turned back around and let out a heavy breath.
"This is gonna take time for me to come around, but that's all I can do right now." He said quietly to him and Rose. "Emily will always do what she wishes at the end of the day, and I won't stop her, but as for me… I'm walking away from this. It's too much. So, with that being said…" He paused and faced Rose. "The news we had to share with you tonight, is that Emily and I have decided to take that job at my father's business in Oregon. We were planning on leaving by the end of this week; but because of our house being gone… that timeline has been pushed up. Once Katie gets the clear to be discharged tomorrow morning, we're leaving. I've already bought three plane tickets outta here for Oregon, and the flight leaves tomorrow evening. My parents have offered to let us move in with them for a few months or so, while I start this job, Em has the baby, and we can get settled. So, tomorrow, we are leaving New York and aren't planning on coming back. So… for me… this is goodbye Rose, and it's probably for the best. You have your new life, but I have mine. And mine is my family, whom I will protect, even if it's from you and all of the darkness that is following you."
Silence passed by and all Rose could do was sit, stare at him through her tears, and nod. His words stung horribly, and even Brooklyn couldn't seem to look at him.
"I understand."
Chris nodded awkwardly. "Well… I do hope that we can still be friends, Rose, but right now… I gotta be honest with you. I don't agree with your life choices, but they are yours to make. I do love you and wish you well. But for now, that's all I got for ya. You really aren't the person I once knew."
His words slapped her in the face, but he kept going. "I wish you good luck and one day I hope to reconnect maybe, but for now, I'm done. I have to be for the safety of my family, I'm sorry." Chris then nodded at Brooklyn in respectful dismissal, looked over at Emily once, before turning around and walking into the hospital; leaving a horrible silence behind him.
Rose closed her eyes, took a few breaths to calm her heart down, and then turned to Emily.
"Are we still friends or do you hate me too?"
"Chris does not hate you, Rose." Emily sighed, running her hands over her exhausted face. "You know how he gets when he's pushed past his boiling point. Just… give him time and space. It's been a grueling and stressful night for all of us. When things settle down, he'll come around eventually."
"And you?"
"What about me?"
"Where does this leave us, Em? Our friendship? I mean… you're leaving tomorrow..."
Emily stayed quiet, let a few tears fall, then stood up and came over to where Rose sat and grabbed her hand. "I could never hate you, Rose, and I know tonight was accidental, but…"
"But?" Rose breathed, and was preparing for more hurt; for her heart to shatter.
Emily took a deep breath. "I'm not gonna lie… but this is a lot for me to take in as well." She paused and squeezed her hands tighter. "I will always be your friend, but I think Chris and I need some space to process what's happened, and focus on what is coming in the next few weeks. With moving across the Country, to the arrival of this new baby, to Chris starting this new job, new home, new lives… it's just… so much stress!"
Emily took a deep breath and forced herself to look into Rose's eyes, then said slowly, "I'm going to stand with Chris on this one. We'll try to reconnect when all of our lives have settled down, and this isn't the end of our friendship or relationship by any means, but there's just too much going on between us both and we need time away from it all."
Rose could only nod, and Emily instantly crushed her into a huge hug. This was both tough on them, but she felt like she had failed her.
Rose was losing the last human family she had, the last family that seemed to connect her to the life she once had with her Pop and Nana, the girl from Bar Harbor.; the girl Kevin killed. Emily pulled away from her, stepped back, and then instantly wrapped Brooklyn up in a hug. He had remained so quiet through it all, but Rose could feel his pain of watching this heartbreaking scene unravel.
"I love you as well, Brooklyn." Emily whispered through her tears. "Please… please forgive myself and Chris for this, and don't think badly about us. Katie absolutely adores you and will be asking about you both so often. You and your Clan are the most incredible beings, ones who'll always have my support and friendship. Brooklyn, you're wonderful and it's been an honor to get to know you." She then pulled away from him and kissed the side of his beak. "Thank you for taking care of Rose, and for being the loving husband that she deserves."
He nodded silently at Emily, whispered something that sounded like a 'thank you,' and Emily instantly hugged him tightly again, crying harder; which meant that he was also probably crying.
"Take care of each other." Emily whispered to them, pulling away from him. Rose nodded, sucked in her lip and tried not to lose it in front of her. When Emily nodded shakily with tears streaming down her face, she then turned away from both of them to walk inside.
At this, Rose jumped up from her chair after her.
"Em?"
Emily turned around to face her and watched as Rose pulled out a folded piece of paper from her pocket and forced it into her hands. "Please… don't fight me, but I want you to take this."
"What is it?" Emily glanced down at the paper, saw it was a check of money and gasped at the amount. "Ten-Thousand Dollars?!"
"Take it, Emily. Please."
"No, I can't." She shook her head and tried to give it back, but Rose wouldn't have it.
"Yes you can and you will. Please, Em."
"I can't!"
"Listen to me right now, Emily June Hansen, I'm not keeping this money! It is yours!" Rose whispered through gritted teeth, and pleaded with her. "As much as I desperately want to change what's happened tonight, I can't. But I can try to help you move forward and this is the only way that I know how! You guys lost your home and all of your belongings tonight! So please, use this money to buy clothes for yourself, Chris and Katie… use it for food, your trip, hotels. Anything! If not, then please use it for your new baby. Let that be my gift to him. If not, then use it for Katie's college fund or something… just please… Em, take it. It's been sitting in a secured savings account when I had to sell my Pop and Nana's house and the fishing store after he died. And thankfully, this was one of the only accounts that Kevin didn't touch or control when we got married. It's the last remainder of what I have from my Pop and Nana, and it's only fitting that you have it, please."
Emily let out a breath, stared down at the check for a few seconds and seemed to debate it more. Seconds passed, and to Rose's relief, she slowly folded it up and pocketed it.
"Thank you."
Rose grabbed onto her and tightly hugged her, as Emily hugged her back while kissing her on the side of the head. "Take care of yourself, Rose. Please… don't let Kevin win."
At her words, hot tears rolled down Rose's face, and her breathing turned staggered. "He won't."
Emily pulled away, gave her and Brooklyn one last glance, before she turned away- with nothing more to say.
"Tell Katie that I love her, please." Rose called out to her, dying inside with every step her best friend took.
"I will." Emily said, opening the hospital door. "She still has that Aurora doll, thank goodness, she won't forget you." Unable to speak, Rose only nodded as Emily whispered, "Good-bye Rose."
With that, Emily turned away and walked inside, leaving her to stand alone with Brooklyn in the courtyard. Seconds turned into minutes of standing in numbing silence as she silently cried- and Brooklyn- she wasn't sure what he was doing or if he was even still there with her.
"I'm still here." He suddenly said, reading her mind.
She turned to face him with a tear-soaked face; and to her great surprise, he too was sharing her grief and was silently crying. When he stepped closer to her, the lights from the hospital illuminated the pain on his face, and truly showed how heartbroken he was for her, and how hard this was on both of them.
"I'm so sorry, my sweet angel…" He whispered, his voice low with emotion. "I know how much they meant to you."
She wanted to tell him, more to reassure herself, that the goodbye wasn't forever and was somehow temporary. But it felt like a lie. Grief filled her soul more than she could bear and needed to let Emily and her family go.
It was for the best.
"I've officially lost my entire human family." She gasped through silent sobs.
"Not Elisa." He tried to comfort her. "Not us."
"I know… but they were my family from my old life, if that makes any sense..."
He nodded. "It does."
He knew what she referred to. The Rose he met nine months ago, was a very different, yet still amazing woman, who was still standing before him right now. The change wasn't a bad thing, but all of those changes had certainly pushed all of her 'normal' human relationships away; and that horribly painful rejection from humans, he understood all too well.
"What can I do for you, my love?" He whispered, reaching his claws out and touching her crossed arms. "I'll do anything to help ease your pain, just… please… tell me what I can do."
She lowered her gaze from his for a moment, shook her head and didn't know. All she could do at this point was to leave and never look back. After a few minutes of thinking, she raised her head back up to meet his gaze, and whispered her only plea and request to him.
"Let's go home."
The entire living room hall was full of the Clan member's loud chatter and laughter when she and Brooklyn arrived back at the Castle from the hospital; and their sounds of joy crushed her soul like a weight.
Looking around and seeing what was going on, Coldstone and Coldfire were standing in the middle of the room. From what she picked up, they decided to come home to the Castle and planned to stay for a while, if not permanently- and everyone was celebrating the news.
Despite the many Clan members, who were the only family she had left, surrounding her- she felt numb and more alone than ever before. Her mind and soul was darkened and far away from the conversations they were having. But listened in to a few that were related to her. Now that Coldstone and Coldfire had returned to the Clan, she heard Goliath launch into discussing the issues with them and wanted their ideas and input of recruiting the Gargoyles around the world to help with the issues from Hel and the Draugr, but Rose suddenly didn't care to listen to what they thought.
She was in too much pain from losing her best friend. It felt like she had a hole in her chest.
Finding a spot on the couch, as far away from everyone as possible, she sank in it and longed to disappear, but it wasn't working. Over the next little bit, while brooding numbly, she kept getting worried glances from Brooklyn, Akira, Angela and Goliath, but all she could think of were the words that were spoken to her from Emily and Chris when they told her goodbye.
About how Chris thought that she wasn't the girl that he once knew, and she agreed. She too didn't know who she was anymore. Because of that, perhaps it was best for everyone that she was left alone. Perhaps she deserved it. Rose continued to numbly stew in the chair by herself, and occasionally Brooklyn would run a talon lovingly down her cheek through their bond, silently reminding her that he was here for her, but she didn't respond.
Over the next hour, the Clan continued to discuss their plans of gathering the Labyrinth Clan and the Clones, and then how to recruit the Clans from around the world, and how they would make that work. Lexington and Akira volunteered to discuss the matter over internet video with her Clan in Japan- while Elisa said she would discuss things with Talon, her Mutated brother.
Xanatos and Owen joined their discussion too a little while later, and the billionaire offered up his services; to help the Clan travel to various places by using one of his helicopters, offer technology that would better help them communicate with the Clans, and even offered up his robots to boost their army's numbers.
"Perhaps, I'll finally have permission to build up an army of them like my old days." Xanatos' voice echoed in her mind as he threw out a devilish grin, but Rose felt far away from it all. More than once, she tried to focus and be present, but couldn't.
Her mind was on what she lost, and she felt lost. Various voices from the Clan faded in and out of her brain and didn't quite stick with her. Owen said something about that he was still trying to communicate with Avalon, but was still coming up with nothing and would keep trying.
The same promise. The same conversation. All while her world actively crumbled.
When Owen said his peace, Rose felt his gaze upon her as well and it was as if he, as Puck, could see the damaged soul underneath her shell. For once, she could feel his worry for her, and was the second time he seemed to care at all…
By now, her sitting so quietly with no expression on her face and nothing more of herself to give, had attracted everyone's glances to her like a bug to light. And it felt like everyone was beginning to see her as the failure and inner monster that she was. As if they saw the darkness within her soul now screaming to get out.
Each tick of the clock on the wall was getting louder in her mind, making her close her eyes and grip the chair she was sitting in. Even through her closed eyes, she could sense Brooklyn's glances becoming more frequent, and his worry for her became astronomical, which was driving her mad. She was slipping and falling into her own madness and he could feel her falling fast.
Brooklyn started to inch towards her, shooting glances at Goliath, who looked just as worried for her. She wanted everyone to stop staring at her. It was like she was naked and everyone could see her for what she was. The girl she no longer was. Rose's mind started unraveling, her heart pounded under the pressure and sweat gleamed on her brow.
Then Coldstone's deep voice echoed through the room and into her empty mind.
"We shall join you and our Clan in this quest, Goliath." She heard him say. "We are family, and will protect our own."
Lies.
She simply didn't believe him.
Rose clenched her fists up and swore she felt the half-Gargoyle cyborg's robotic eye glance through her chair with worry; as if he suddenly cared for and worried about her. But that was impossible because if she recalled correctly, he disapproved of hers and Brooklyn's union, and made that disapproval quite clear.
So why would he give a damn about her well-being now?
Even though he and Coldfire helped her and fought the Draugr during the large attack three weeks ago, she didn't take that as something they wanted to do for her personally, but was because of their duty to protect people from evil. Not because they cared about her.
Brooklyn cast another anxious look in her direction, hearing her thoughts. Their connection flowed freely between them, but again, she didn't care if he heard her thoughts, she was too numb to dam him away. By now, Goliath walked over to him and whispered something in his ear. Brooklyn replied back, and because they were connected she heard him telling Goliath what happened between her, Emily and Chris… and how she had to let them go, most likely to never see them ever again.
They whispered about her, as if she wasn't there. Her heart was pounding even more rapidly, the clock ticking more aggressively, and suddenly she had to bite her lip, causing it to bleed. Anything to feel something real. There were so many voices around her whispering, so many eyes watching her. And even with her eyes shut, they were still there.
Hel, the Draugr, Kevin, her parents, death gods, the Third Race, magic… it all swirled around her mind like a psychedelic nightmare. This was her life now, her nightmare- Chris and Emily's voices rang through her mind.
You aren't the girl you used to be, Rose.
It's best if I protect my family from the darkness following you…
All of this wouldn't have happened if it weren't for you!
Voices, so many voices whispering about her, seeing the broken person that she was…
Those voices were suddenly yelling her name, but she didn't want to hear them anymore.
Didn't want to exist anymore.
ENOUGH! Brooklyn's voice suddenly roared into her mind so loudly that all of the swirling mess of madness instantly collapsed, like he was her own personal wrecking ball, leaving her mind black and empty. She opened her eyes at his interference in her mind and was stunned that he put a stop to all of those thoughts so suddenly; and was even more stunned when his claws suddenly wrapped around her arms and physically ripped her from the chair.
"Rose!" He asked, shaking her slightly. "ROSE!"
She blinked again and felt confused.
"What?" She asked, wondering why he was yelling, but then it became clear. The Clan had ducked behind the couches and were slowly rising to look at her. She blinked in shock and then faced her mate. He was watching her with great worry and slight fear.
What… what did I just do?
He didn't say anything to her as she glanced around, and quickly realized why they had taken cover. Her magic was swirling around her hands like hot- lightning, and right behind her, her chair was blasted apart, and was now in a pile of hot smoldering pieces of wood and fabric. She had most likely set it and her on fire, though her fire didn't affect her at all.
Brooklyn had risked getting burned, and stopped her before she could blast apart the room, and now the gazes of worry from the entire Clan made sense. She had lost her mind for a moment and let her grief swallow her up, and while it wasn't an influence from Hel, it might as well have been.
"Oh…" Rose said quietly, coming to reality, and then quickly forced her magic to go away. "I… I'm so sorry everyone, I don't know what came over me."
She turned in Brooklyn's grasp, used her magic to quickly repair the chair as Puck had taught her to do. From across the room, Owen looked pleased by her abilities, but she felt mortified by her unintentional behavior, and it really felt as if she were standing naked in front of them.
Blushing slightly at everyone's eyes on her, tears welled up in her eyes and wanted more than anything to hide behind Brooklyn or run away. He then grasped onto her hand, still seeming to read her mind.
"Rose…" He started to say, his tone wary.
"Are you alright, dear?" Coldfire suddenly asked, walking stiffly up to her and that only seemed to make things worse for her. Even a robot could sense that she was acting crazy. Rose glanced around the room and everyone's eyes were still on her.
No, she wasn't alright. Her entire world was crumbling, couldn't they see it? Couldn't they hear her screaming inside?
"I… I um…" She started to back away and wanted to actually scream; but to her relief, Brooklyn suddenly wrapped an arm tightly around her waist and stepped in front of her, blocking everyone's gazes.
"Goliath, are we finished with our plan in recruiting Clans?" He asked quickly.
Rose closed her eyes in relief, letting the hot tears fall down her face and thanked him, over and over and over again through their shared minds for his intuition and care for her well-being. It was foolish of her to think that she was alone… because all along, she wasn't. She had him- and he had her back.
"For now, yes. I believe we all have a plan to get the plan in motion, at least." Goliath replied carefully, still watching her with an expression of true disconcert.
"Do you need Rose for anything?" He asked, and there was silence for a few seconds. Rose kept her eyes closed and rested her forehead against Brooklyn's back, in between his shoulder blades, praying Goliath said no.
"No, I don't believe we do, we have a good plan set in place so far." He replied. "We just need her to remain safe until we gather more help."
"Perfect, sounds good. Then if you will all please excuse us, my mate needs rest."
With that, Brooklyn wrapped his arm around her waist and walked her quickly from the room, still blocking her from everyone's gazes. Rose's legs shook as she walked, but Brooklyn kept her from falling.
"Keep walking," he encouraged her, holding her tightly with one arm and clutching her hand in his other claw. "Don't look back at them, we're almost there, babe."
She still hadn't managed to say anything productive, but at least her mind was silent and not betraying her. Now that she could think, she realized how incredibly exhausted she was. They were almost to their bedroom, when Brooklyn suddenly scooped her up into his arms, used the claw by her feet to open the door and then used his tail to shut it. He instantly walked her across the large, moonlit kissed suite and into her bathroom.
Without speaking still, he turned the light on and quickly started up her bath. Again, he must have read her mind when she thought about how much she wanted a bath earlier- or he could smell that she truly needed one. Although their magic cleaned them up and healed them, there was still a layer of dirt and soot on her skin from the fire they were involved in earlier.
She used the time of the bathtub filling with water to quickly wash her face, brush her hair and teeth; but could barely do so without wanting to fall asleep. When she was done, she tugged her shirt and pants off, leaving her in her bra and underwear, and stared at herself in the mirror- staring at the girl who had changed. The girl Emily once told her to love.
The girl who no longer was there.
Brooklyn suddenly turned and looked over at her. Hearing her thoughts again, he slowly walked over to her and gently placed his claws on her shoulders, gazing at her through the mirror.
"Stop it." He suddenly said gently. "Rose… please…stop being so cruel to yourself. I can't take listening to you beating yourself up anymore, it makes me sick when you think so many horrible things about yourself."
"Then stop listening."
She didn't mean for her words to come out so coldly and hated seeing him recoil slightly. Shame filled her being for being so hurtful to the only person who saw her, underneath the ugly layer that was from her biological parents, and still loved her. She was sure that he was going to be angry with her, but when he whipped her around to face him he wasn't angry, but began pleading with her.
"Please, Rose. You are a gift. I need you to see what I see in you." He whispered, trailing a talon over her face. But she could only stare up at him, still unable to feel anything.
"Why do you love me, Brooklyn? How can you?" She whispered suddenly. "Don't you see the broken person inside of me? The daughter of death… the reason for all this destruction?!"
"Why do I love you?!" Brooklyn whispered back in disbelief. "Are you serious, babe? Look into my eyes, feel my heart, and dig deep into my soul… and you'll remember why. Now, recall all the times we've made love and have seen the light within each other's souls… felt the literal chain of light and fire that seals us together as mates. After all this time and all we've been through and shared… how can you ask that and truly not know the answer to that?"
Again, more shame. She did know why he loved her, but at the moment, she didn't know how to love herself again.
"I feel so lost." She breathed through tears, ones that he gently wiped away.
"Then allow me to guide you back home."
"It's not that simple. I've lost who I once was… and all who've been a part of my life." Rose mourned, and again he held her close to him, hugging her.
"I know and understand that you're feeling that way, but change is never easy."
"It's not just change, Brooklyn. My life doesn't feel like mine anymore."
He cupped the back of her head and closed his eyes. "I know it doesn't feel like you are in control of your own life right now, and I'm sorry. But it'll get better… you'll see. After a good night's rest, and with my love for you, I hope you'll see that things aren't as bad as they seem."
"I'm glad you're so sure."
"You're hurting, grieving, and hating yourself for Emily leaving. But that was their choice- and I'm more sorry for the hurt that you're enduring my love. More sorry than I could possibly say, but your thoughts of self-hatred are making this so much worse. And trust me… I've been there. I also slip easily into that self-hatred and fear, but you can't let it control you from seeing the truth of who you really are... the woman who I truly see."
He suddenly turned her back around to look into the mirror, moved her long hair off to the side, and wrapped an arm around her chest.
"I see the most beautiful, loving, incredible and amazing woman. A strong female who has endured pain, hurt, but chooses to rise above it and loves selflessly with all her heart as if it was never broken." He whispered in her ear and tears welled up in her eyes. "I see you, Rose and I love you for an infinite number of reasons- but you'll never see those reasons looking at yourself through empty eyes of hatred and self-loathe. I can never show you those reasons until you begin to see them yourself. But, I can tell you this… all of this will pass, my love. You haven't lost Emily or Chris or Katie permanently. Things are just dark right now, but it'll get better once you get some rest."
He then ran a few talons through her hair and brought a few strands up for him to smell, then leaned into her face. "As always, I will be your beacon of light to help you find your way through it all. I'll stand by your side and be your strength when you're weak. Just please… stop tearing yourself down. It's what Kevin used to do… and I refuse to allow you to do it to yourself. If you can't see yourself for who you really are… then see yourself through my eyes."
Tears soaked her face as she turned away from her reflections and looked up into his eyes. And there- as always- she saw his light and love for her. Just like when they were first connected in the alleyway… at the Brooklyn bridge, she saw the truth through his eyes, the selfless and powerful love for her. Rose couldn't help but crack a smile, giving in, and he pulled her body tightly against his. Her heart pounded with relief and slowly she rested her forehead against the side of his beak, then raised it to kiss him. Their lips touched briefly before she pulled away.
"Thank you… for… for everything." She whispered, speaking not only about the words he said to pull her out of her misery, but the moments he pulled her from her madness, blocked her from everyone's views, and supported her as she said good-bye to the last human family she had.
Hearing all her thoughts, tears welled up in his eyes and rested his forehead to hers.
"Anything for you, my love." He whispered. "Truly… I'll do anything for you. Never forget your worth, and if you do, I'll always be here to remind you."
She smiled, slowly pulled away from him and gazed deeply into his eyes, feeling in complete awe of having him be hers. "What would I do without you Brooklyn?" She breathed, running a hand through his long white hair, and he too smiled.
"Certainly much more than I could ever do."
She snorted at his tease, closed her eyes and sighed in true exhaustion, and felt herself falling asleep while standing up. With that, he gently took her by the hands and guided her towards the tub and shut the water off.
"Here… hurry up and bathe so you can get some rest."
She gazed sleepily over at the massive stone and earth-like tub, the steaming water, then looked into his eyes.
"You know… this tub is certainly large enough for the two of us. You can rinse off all the smoke and soot from your skin as well. I'll help you." Brooklyn smirked at the thought and said softly, "I.. I don't know if…"
"Please." She suddenly whispered seriously. "Brooklyn… will you please join me?"
He stared at her and then slowly kissed her on her forehead, instantly giving in. "Alright. If that is what you wish, then I'm certainly not one to argue with you."
"You don't have to."
"No, I want to." He whispered. "I just know how tired you are and don't want to waste anymore time that you need to rest."
"I'll be fine," Rose breathed, holding onto his beak gently. "As long as I'm with you, I know we'll both get the rest we desperately need."
With that, Brooklyn nodded, pressed another kiss this time onto her lips and breathed, "Okay." He then gently brought his talons up to unclasp her bra, letting it fall to the floor. When her breasts were free, he looked them over hungrily, but made no movement to touch her.
"I… I do want to bathe with you… but…" she paused. "I don't think I have it in me to lead to sex tonight. I'm sorry."
"You never have to apologize, I understand." He whispered, reaching for his own belt and letting his loincloth drop to the ground. Her eyes trailed down anyway to him and, as always, seeing the beauty and length of him a small smile crept up to her face and heat blushed her cheeks. He grazed a talon over the blush and then stepped closer to her.
"There are many other ways to have intimacy that don't lead to sex." He breathed, gently touching her face. "We can kiss, bathe together, and simply enjoy holding each other- skin to skin. And with as tired as we both are… it sounds incredible, and I can't think of a better thing to do right now."
Rose closed her eyes, and hummed out a noise of pleasure as he slowly lowered himself to his knees and took her underwear off. His face and lips were so close to her groin, and he kissed her legs gently as he slowly stood back up, barely grazing over her. When he stood back up, she opened her dreamy eyes to his, and then wrapped her arms around his neck. They pressed their naked bodies together, and although he was aroused, he made no attempt to claim her. Instead he kissed her deeply, touching her with such reverence, making her instantly melt into him.
Silently, he spread his long wings out, then enveloped her like a blanket, picked her up in his arms, still kissing her wholly, and sank them both into the steaming, warm water.
Brooklyn had stayed true to his word of not claiming her, and both had an incredible time bathing with each other. It was extremely sensual, romantic, and erotic, but their time in the tub didn't lead to sex, nor did any moment after. It was nearing two AM at this time, but were not ready to call it quits yet, so they took a moment more to both play. He bathed her hair and body with great reverence and slowly ran the bar of soap along every inch of her. To her pleasure, he took extra time running it over her breasts, making her nipples harden; and in between her legs, using deeper strokes over her sensitive center.
She arched against him with her back to his chest, grasped onto his thick thighs, and cried out a release that made her entire body shudder. His lips claimed her neck, and another claw caressed over her breasts, palming them with great pleasure. This moment made their intimate experience a bit more complicated, and more difficult to not consummate and make love, but they were enjoying this too much to be picky.
Brooklyn grinned devilishly at her orgasms, his own eyes lost in this dream, and when she teasingly argued with him to stop he merely kissed her and told her that they weren't actually having sex like she asked. Playing and pleasing her body wasn't against the rules.
He was right.
In return for his services, Rose used the bar soap and took a turn washing him, being completely unfair in her treatment over his aroused, sensitive and swollen groin. She spread her legs over his waist, pressed her chest to his; kissing him deeply and passionately. He seemed to have the greatest amount of restraint, but was slowly losing with the feel of her wet body and center rubbing over his abdomen, teasing him along even more.
"Keep this up and I will have no choice but to wake this entire castle up with my roars of release." He growled out a warning, so she stopped- despite the pounding and heat in her abdomen, and moved onto cleaning the rest of him, though she was dizzy with desire. Smirking at him, she picked up the soap, and took to washing his wings, but quickly learned how sensitive they were when a Gargoyle was aroused. And not just on his back where he had often met his own releases.
She ran bar soap over the length of his wings, near the inside of where his connected ligaments were, and he flailed water everywhere, shot his arms out of the tub and broke off some of the stone tub in his clenched claws. All in an attempt to not have his own release. Rose immediately stopped, grinned at him, and after a few seconds of staring at each other, both of them burst into a fit of laughter that carried throughout the rest of the time bathing.
Now completely clean, they drained the tub, dried off and got dressed. He wrapped himself back in his loincloth, and she settled for a semi-modest tank top nightdress. Brooklyn carried her back to the bed, laid her down, and took to brushing her long, wet hair out with his claws. The sensation of his sharp claws through her hair was nothing short of amazing, and seemed to turn her on even more.
As she laid in her clean sheets, with Brooklyn's warm body next to hers, running talons through her wet hair- she finally felt some ounce of peace. Brooklyn reached over her and shut the lamp off, kissing her face as he went. He was still aroused against her, but he was respecting her desire to not make love tonight. Their playing and romance was a nice distraction, but she didn't want sex with him to be one- and he agreed. So, he kept comforting her instead.
Now fully in the dark, with his wings wrapped around her as well as their blanket, he continued to stroke her hair and felt her body relax with every stroke. Behind her, she could feel that he was still heavily aroused, his groin pulsing against her back, and she wanted to help relieve him. But when she reached a hand back to touch him, he pressed his body so tightly against hers that she couldn't.
"Not tonight." Was all he said, and still continued to caress his lips over her face, hair and lips, while his claws ran gently down her soft and smooth skin.
She raised an arm above her head and gently stroked his face, inviting him to come to her, and he did. His lips slowly came down to hers and moved with whole, perfect motion. If they kept doing this, she would give into the burning heat that was rising in her abdomen out of natural reaction to him and all he was doing to her. He then wrapped an arm around her waist and gently touched her stomach, where their child was.
"Sleep, my love." He breathed in her ears. "Think of nothing of this night, except my love for you."
His deep voice vibrated through her, and amazingly, so did their connection, like he was healing her again and might have been to help ease her mind from the nightmares she saw before.
The fire, Katie's screaming, the Draugr, Kevin, Brooklyn in the fire…
"Stop. Don't think about anything." Brooklyn whispered again, both out loud and in her mind, taking over those thoughts she was having, while stroking her face and sending more of his powerful tingling through her.
At this point, Rose was nearly out, and her mind did feel lighter… more peaceful. Moaning happily, she leaned into him closer as he continued to kiss her face, her eyes, her shoulders and lips. He felt like a warm, heated blanket against her, that was fighting away all her fears… all of her tears. He was her own guardian angel.
Then her heart sank at the person who also thought that about Brooklyn.
Katie.
Tears welled up in her eyes and spilled out onto her pillow. She was so thankful to have him here with her because enduring this pain alone was unfathomable to her.
"I love you so much." She breathed into the night.
"I love you more." He kissed her face, but then froze slightly when his lips hit her wet tears. "Oh Rose… honey…"
"Will I ever see them again?"
He knew exactly what she was asking and to whom she was referring, so he kept stroking her wet hair softly, kissed the side of her face and held her impossibly close to him.
"Yes, I think you will." He breathed in her ears. "We will fight against Hel for each other… and for them. Don't give up hope, my angel. Don't let your mind shatter again like it did tonight. I love you… and they do too. Have faith that things will work out, because they will all come full-circle, one day."
"Do you really believe that?"
She turned onto her back to face where she saw the dark outline of his beaked face. He stayed quiet for a moment, then moved his body more on top of hers, cupping her face in his claws. In the dark, she could see the light in his eyes somehow; like she was gazing into the stars back on the cliffs, and she fell more deeply in love with him.
"I do." He whispered, lowering his lips down to hers and kissing her in between his breaths- his love taking her to a place of pure bliss. "I'm sorry for how hard tonight was on you, my love, but this wasn't a good-bye from Emily forever, instead, is a temporary separation. Regardless, I'll help you through this pain, you'll always have me."
"Thank you." She whispered again, and was met with his lips once more. Unrushed, unhurried, but was taking advantage of what he could.
"You're welcome, now… sleep, my love. Sweet dreams. I love you."
"I love you more." Rose whispered, already falling into a deep sleep. She heard him chuckle as he snuggled his body more against hers; his claw delicately holding her stomach and their child.
"Promise?" He teased, and it was her turn to snort a laugh.
"Promise."
Brooklyn made a pleased hum, kissed her hair, and then breathed, "Good. Now… sleep my love."
A wave of their connection flowed over her, and he didn't need to tell her twice as exhaustion took her away into a peaceful and dreamless sleep.
Minutes passed and when he knew she was completely out, he sighed out relief, and laid himself tightly against her, thinking deeply about everything.
He rested his head down on her pillow, closed his eyes and tried to relax to her beautiful scent; the feel of her warm body against his. However, as he stayed lying next to her, he did not miss the streams of tears that still fell from her eyes as she was still subconsciously grieving over losing Emily and her family, and it silently broke his heart.
Tears welled in his own eyes and he hugged her even closer to him, willing his connection to keep her dreams peaceful, as his own mind swam and replayed the horrors from earlier. His instincts were going nuts- and somewhere out there, was Kevin, he just knew it. With Rose's heart beating against his chest and her sweet scent in his nostrils, he forced himself to get lost in their soul-bond to find any peace from the horrors that seemed to linger all around them.
To escape from his own fears.
He closed his eyes, kissed his mate once more, and let himself collapse in his own exhaustion.