Chapter 24: Reprise Chapters: Kickstart My Heart
HOWARD STARK'S LAB, 1989
Howard and Anthony Stark were both engaged in the construction of a suit that would withstand sub-zero temperatures. They had been at work on it for an entire weekend.
Tony designed the suit with the idea in his head that he needed to get through the ice to free Steve. They didn't have the technology that his adult self had at his disposal, so Tony's first suit was nothing like the Iron Man suit that he knew he would have in the future.
Oh well, Tony didn't care.
They developed the ideas that Tony came up with and broke up the workload so they could get the suit done at a fast pace.
Tony constructed the suit while Howard worked on making it function. It needed to be pressurized so it could be underwater, it needed oxygen flow, radio communication, and it needed various types of water impellers.
Tony brought him the helmet that fit perfectly over his head and Howard created an encasing to go over the helmet.
Howard made it out of quartz because glass would not be able to make the dive.
He took a moment and looked over at his son.
Tony had his music on and was completely engaged in his work. He worked on the boots for the suit.
Tony slipped his headphones off and he turned towards his father. Howard looked back at his own work because he didn't mean to stare that long.
"How much power do you think we're going to need to get him out of that ice?" Tony couldn't get that thought out of his head.
He didn't have the same power source to use that kept his suit charged and he NEEDED IT! He couldn't remember what it was even called. Zeus showed him that thing he had embedded in his chest that powered his suits in the future.
Tony chewed on his thumb and tried to think.
"Son, the electric motor I made should give you more than enough time to get him out. You're overthinking and driving yourself crazy." Howard could tell that Tony was nervous.
He continued to scratch his head and pace about.
Tony's skin started to itch. Saaaaa he had gone too long without taking a hit.
"Take a break, Tony. I'll finish up the boots. I wanted to work on the propulsion jets anyway.." Howard stood up and he walked over to the unfinished suit.
They already worked on the suit for hours and Tony looked exhausted. He did not want his son to get over-worked.
"Steve Rogers is obviously staying put so I want you to get some sleep." He pointed at the murphy bed that was closed up in the wall.
Tony shook his head.
No No No nooo he wanted to continue his work.
There was no way he could rest when he had a billion thoughts that buzzed around his head. He wanted to get the Yankee out of his icy prison.
Tony frowned and looked over at the wall. He scratched at his palms and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
"Get some rest, NOW." Howard's voice was stern. Tony growled because he DID NOT WANT TO LISTEN.
UGH.. he huff ed and stomped over to the stupid bed and he pulled it down. Everybody treated him like he was a damn kid.
Tony crawled onto the bed and he fluffed up the pillow. Tony coughed and rolled over onto his back.
He stared up at the ceiling and thought about...stuff.
At the rate they went, the suit would be done within a day or two. Which meant that he'd find his Steve very soon.
Tony didn't want his dad to catch on that he ...
...
... had feelings for him.
Tony bit his lip and thought about how he was supposed to behave. The Yankee in the ice wasn't the same one that protected him before.
But, they were the same person. Tony knew when the time was right he planned to tell the Steve from his time exactly how he felt about him.
He rubbed his forehead and tried to process. Tony wondered if he should tell his father first. Tony practiced the words in his head as he looked up at the ceiling.
UH, dad? I'm kinda in love with your BFF that has been frozen since 1945. Tony slapped both of his hands to the sides of his face.
DID HE JUST THINK THAT?
Oh, dear. Tony was a mess. He turned over and watched his father as he worked on the suit. He added pressurized rings to the joints that prevented the suit from leaking.
Love?
Tony decided he needed to tell him. He needed to prepare his father in some way because he wasn't going to be able to hide how he felt for the Yankee.
"Dad.." Tony lifted his torso up off the bed. He spoke up but his voice didn't reach Howard's ears.
"DAD?" He spoke louder but he didn't get a response.
"DAAADDD!" Tony yelled loudly that time, and Howard ripped off the goggles.
"WHAT?!" Howard screamed as he turned around. The father glared at the son and the son glared at the father.
There was a moment of silence and Tony finally built up the nerve. He sat up completely and he rubbed his hands together.
He needed to break the ice somehow. His dad had to know at some point!
"What is it Tony?" Howard figured that Tony was hungry or something. He tossed the goggles off and he headed over to the cooler of food that his wife packed up for them.
Tony tried to form words. He tried and tried and tried but it was so hard.
All of it was coming "out of the closet" material.
Howard tossed his son a bologna sandwich and he dug around for something to drink.
"Dad have? ummaah, have you.." Tony bit his tongue and he looked at the sandwich. JUST SAY IT!
Howard rose up one eyebrow and he looked over at Tony. Howard peeled his bologna sandwich out of the plastic it was wrapped in and he took a bite. He chewed the food down and waited.
It was a long wait so Howard swallowed what he ate.
"Have you ever had sex with a guy?" Tony quickly forced the question out and he instantly regretted it. Howard coughed loudly and choked on the bite that stuck in his throat.
He coughed again and he was about to faint.
WAHHTT Tony didn't mean to ask that! It just came out and his father choked over there. Howard forced some water down his throat. He caught his breath at some point.
"No, I have not. And I will never, not. WHY?!" That was a shock. Howard's response was a riddle.
He stared over at his son with a puzzled look on his face.
Holy shit. His father looked mad. Tony scratched at his arm and he wished that he could go back in time and NOT ASK THAT QUESTION.
"I was just wondering." Tony stumbled to grab the sandwich his father threw in his direction. He opened it and decided to chomp on the sandwich. He ate it so fast he thought his stomach would probably hurt later.
His nerves were all over the place.
"Just wondering?" Howard was a bit freaked out. There was no way he could finish that sandwich that was for sure.
Tony just bit his lip and looked away from his father.
"Have you? Tony?" Howard felt very uncomfortable. Tony was unsure if he should answer. He started to rub at his legs as he debated it in his head.
Tony's MOUTH WAS FULL. He swallowed the dumb sandwich and he glanced over at his dad.
"I have. A few times yeah." Uhh, more than a few times. Tony swallowed hard again and winced as if he was punched in the stomach.
A small explosion of anger went off in Howard's head. Tony shut his eyes in a panic!
HOWARD. FREAKED. OUT.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He stood up and he almost knocked over the cooler. Tony just sat there and he kept his eyes closed.
He regretted all of it. His father just walked around the lab. Tony could hear him as he threw things around but Tony refused to open his eyes.
"DAD. I really like someone. Ok? I want you to know that this person is, I DUNNO it felt like love when we'd kiss and stuff ."
Tony tried to fix the situation but he only made it worse. HE KEPT THOSE EYES SHUT.
"Just STOP talking Anthony. I'm trying to." Howard tried to breathe. He needed some scotch as soon as possible.
Howard often wondered about Tony. He began to have an internal crisis about what he heard and he needed to think.
He did not want to hear Tony speak so he poured himself a glass and he walked towards the suit.
Tony finally opened his eyes and he saw as his father start to work on the suit. Uh ok? He just sat there and waited for, what?
Tony's entire body felt hot. He could tell that his father was not going to talk to him any longer. He hung his head down a bit and then pulled at the blankets that were stuck underneath him.
TCH. Great Tony felt really stupid. He covered his body with the blanket and he turned his back to his father.
He felt like a total idiot.
STEVE'S APARTMENT, PRESENT DAY
At first Tony was baffled by the amount of e ff ort Steve put into helping others in a day. One of the days he was there he just observed the man. Steve cooked for him, opened doors for him, pulled out chairs for him, (really?) he said hi to all the neighbors, helped the old woman a floor below him move her plants, and who knew how many cats or kids he got down from trees when he went on his run in the morning.
Steve COULD NOT stop helping people. Tony felt like he was just a terrible mess of a human being that couldn't do ANYTHINGgg for himself.
He felt that way at first, but eventually, he accepted the fact that Mr. Apple Pie was just, different.
Steve was a special breed of cat and Tony stopped all attempts to make sense of it all. For some reason when they both packed up their things to head back to the tower Tony felt sad about it. He had a frown that entire morning.
They decided to leave the mattress on the floor in the living room. It looked better that way and it saved them some time if they decided to "spend the weekend" there again.
Tony had a proud smile on his face when he saw it on the floor.
In summary, their relationship was new, pretty sexually charged, and they had a huge mess of problems. But when he walked out of the apartment and watched Steve lock the door his head filled with the craziest of thoughts.
The sugary yet bittersweet feelings he had were kinda hard to stomach. It was why Tony decided to compromise on Steve's idea to split up the Avengers. They decided to start a relationship so that meant Tony had to take a team of his own to the West Coast.
Tony needed to keep Steve at a distance. He was at a point where he felt like he was way more than just in love with him.
It felt deeper than that and it kinda freaked him out. Tony's hyperactive brain filled with fear and concern.
What if he lost Steve somehow? Tony went through most of his life feeling empty and alone, he filled the void with shit that didn't matter. But now with Steve, he felt ...
Whooo that was one bridge he DID NOT want his brain to strut across.
"Here, I have this extra key that you can have. If you ever need a place to stay outside the tower I, well." Steve held out a silver key and Tony stared at it. His thoughts went away as his gaze continued.
"I'm sure you have plenty of other places to stay. Mansions, Italian villas, and all that but well you're welcome to stay here too." He tried to sell the acceptance of the key that he held out for him.
Tony just smiled and took the key from his hand. He leaned in Steve's direction and gave him a tender kiss.
"Thanks." He looked at the key and then fished out his own set. They walked to the elevator and Tony worked the key onto the ring.
It felt like a fairy-tale.
Actually, it felt like something that could be snatched up and ruined in a heartbeat. Tony rest against the wall in the elevator as Steve noticed his silence.
Tony was being too quiet and he didn't like it. He pressed the button for the bottom floor and he stood beside Tony.
They looked at each other for a brief moment as the elevator started to head down. But then like always one of them looked away.
Steve glanced up at the floor number as it ticked downward.
Tony acted the way he did when he first walked into Steve's apartment.
He was quiet and wide-eyed. His eyes explored the elevator as if there was something to see.
A timid Tony meant he was nervous. Steve just sighed because he didn't know what Tony had to be nervous about. His nerves were all over the place and it always threw Steve off.
He felt thrown off by him all the time. Steve just accepted the fact that Mr. Indecisive was just, different.
Tony was a special breed of cat and Steve stopped all attempts to make sense of it all.
"Can this elevator go any slower?" Tony asked as he moved closer to Steve. He didn't know why he asked him that it just came out of his mouth. Oh yeah, he was hella impatient.
"I could stop the elevator and make you wait even longer." Steve didn't mind the wait. He laughed at his own response.
They both looked at each other. Steve had a smile and Tony had a frown. Tony's heartbeat picked up as he looked at Steve.
He pulled on the collar of Steve's jacket and the two locked in a kiss.
It was short but sweet because Tony's heart went haywire. It beat quickly and he adjusted his bag over his shoulder.
It felt that way before and Tony touched his chest. Steve studied him for a moment as the door opened.
Tony's heart started to beat at the same pace as his younger self.
At that precise moment, 20 something years or so in the past, his younger self had a heartbeat that matched his exactly.
The younger Tony tested out the armor's mobility.
Tony could walk in it. He could move about in it and they were about to test it out to see if he could swim.
The test run was also the final run. Because the Stark's were absolutely crazy.
Howard and Anthony were in one of his father's aircraft. Luckily for them, Howard Stark piloted a military aircraft that was designed to hover over the water.
They drifted over the North Atlantic right above the coordinates that Tony memorized.
The crazy Zeus guy, and some magician, showed Tony his entire life on a yellow orb. When it got to the part where he met Steve the younger Tony made sure he soaked in as much information as possible.
The coordinates that were on the S.H.I.E.L.D. file was more than enough information to find him.
"Ok, we're ready for the drop! Tony if anything goes wrong you tell me immediately. UNDERSTAND? I will pull you up." His father looked over his shoulder at his son as Tony assembled the armor over his body.
He had to assemble it himself, his father was the pilot and he continued to circle to keep the aircraft at the coordinates.
Plus, they didn't have the time or the technology to have the suit assemble over him.
Tony would work out that kink sometime later.
"I understand!" he spoke loudly because the aircraft drowned out his voice. His father had barely spoken to him since their awesome conversation back at his lab.
Howard just ignored him and worked on the suit. Now it was finished and the two kinda had to communicate and interact to get shit done.
Tony's heart was about to beat out of his chest.
"Before you go, Tony, I want you to tell me something!" His father said with a loud voice as Tony looked in his direction. Tony held onto the helmet and stared at his father.
Yeah? He waited as Howard watched where he flew the aircraft.
He checked the coordinates and circled back. His father had to talk loud so Tony could hear him nice and clear.
"THE PERSON? You said it felt like it was love and all that? Please tell me you are not talking about Obadiah. If you are I will jump out of this plane and freeze with Steve!" Howard was dead inside until he heard the answer.
He glanced back at his son so he could see his reaction. It was hard to focus on him because he flew a damn aircraft. Howard set the hover control and he turned back to his son.
Tony had a sickened look on his face.
"UHM EW. FUCK NO. Trust me, dad, it's not him. Hahaha" Tony started to laugh and he looked funny doing it in the bulky suit.
Gross. He could never be in love with someone like Obadiah.
Howard was immediately relieved. But then the confusion swarmed over him after because he had no idea who else his son could have slept with.
Tony was very monitored until he started to run away so, Howard didn't know of anyone else.
They needed to have a talk. A serious conversation was needed at some point.
"CAN I GO NOW?"
No. Howard wasn't ready to send his son into the North Atlantic to pick up one of his old war buddies. If something happened to his son he'd never forgive himself. So Howard stalled and asked Tony another question. He shook his head no and asked something else.
"But, I'm right to assume that you HAVE slept with Obi right? I can see it. I'm not blind you know!" Howard felt sick.
Tony was about to put the helmet on but he stopped after his father said that.
He couldn't lie to him. Tony wanted to lie but he figured it would do him no good. That information would open a huge can of worms that Tony wasn't sure he was ready for.
Obadiah was a scary person, a person that had his own set of wealth and connections. He was his father's dark horse that swooped in and closed deals. He did the dirty work.
Tony didn't want to admit it but he was scared of what Obadiah would do to him if he made the man angry enough.
Well, he already had an idea of what he could do to him.
Saa Tony sighed and thought it through. After that day he'd have his Yankee so. He looked over at his father and gave him an actual answer.
"I've slept with him. Yeah." His voice was clear and his face sunk low. He stared at the floor of the plane and he felt it shift beneath him. Due to the shock Howard almost lost control of his aircraft. He corrected his actions and tried to focus.
Obadiah Stane was a dead man. Howard grit his teeth and he looked over the controls. He pressed a button and the latch on the door unlocked.
Tony looked over at the door and he tried to calm his nerves. He opened the door the rest of the way and he looked down at the ocean. His father flew down as low as he could take the small aircraft.
He set the hover control again and he watched Tony. He had so many questions in his head that needed to be answered. His thoughts burned with resentment, confusion, and anger.
He watched his son as he looked over the water. The suit was heavy enough to keep him from flying out.
An answer sparked in Howard's mind as he watched him. The answer he came up with filled Howard's mind up with even more confusion. The way Tony looked over the water said it all.
He thought about the two people that took over Tony's protection. The one named Bruce? The man looked exactly like Steve. Howard convinced himself that it was just a scary coincidence. That was the only logical explanation for Howard at the moment but he was CONFUSED AS FUCK.
"TONY! One last question before you go!" His father yelled and Tony stomped his foot.
"WHAAAATttt? Dadddd I gotta get down there-" His words were cut short.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? You built a suit to find Steve Rogers? How did you even know where he was?" It never occurred to Howard up until that point.
He wanted to find his friend but more importantly, he wanted to talk to his son. So when Tony told him where he was then Howard was all for it.
Howard jumped on the plan but he never thought to ask Tony why. He used to talk about Steve Rogers all the time and he told Tony about him when he was a kid. Howard admired Steve and he didn't want his story to die so he talked about him a lot.
But for Tony to be that headstrong about it? He knew where to find him and even built a suit? It gave Howard all the answers yet no answers at all.
"Tony, why are you doing this?" The father asked the question in a gentler tone. Tony just stared at his father and he stepped closer to the edge.
He was about to take the plunge.
Howard left the aircraft on its hover capability so he waited for an answer.
"He's .." Tony started to give a response but he stopped. He didn't know how to explain.
How the fuck could he explain that one?
Tony just closed his eyes and he decided to say it.
He looked at his father and answered.
"I'm doing this because I love him." Tony turned away and he looked back over the water. He put the helmet on over his head and he latched it in the four locations around his neck.
Tony took in a deep breath and he checked the pulley system he was attached to.
"Radio is a go. The suit is a go. Can you hear me Papa bear?" Tony stepped out into the openness anyway.
Howard was stunned. Completely unable to respond because his brain was on overload. Tony stepped out of the aircraft and took that long leap into the water. His father finally responded after he snapped out of it.
"Make sure you have those propulsion jets turned on or you're not going anywhere." He just focused on his son so he could make it through the deep-sea dive.
He didn't want to play around with nicknames or think about the fact that his seventeen-year-old son was somehow in love with a buddy of his that was frozen in a chunk of ice.
Howard officially had a strange day ok?
Tony felt heavy as the suit sank through the water. There was a rush of adrenaline that pulsed through his body.
Anything could happen. Tony began to list all the possible things that could happen to him in that suit.
The suit could explode. The suit could leak. The quartz dome his father made could shatter. Or, ocean debris could get swept into the propellers that were inside the propulsion mechanisms. The electric motor could go out and he wouldn't be able to move around. OR Hey, JAWS could show up and attack him. Anything could go wrong!
The suit was heavy enough to sink but light enough to sway with the current.
"Dad?" Tony was able to see but there wasn't much for him to look at.
Above his chest was a switchboard. He was small enough to take one of his arms and press the buttons that were needed to operate his suit.
"Are you alright Anthony?" His father asked as Tony nodded his head.
"So far so good. I've just gotta get used to maneuvering." Tony flicked one of the switches that turned on the halogen lamp. It was bright and illuminated a path for him through the chest plate.
It was the perfect spotlight and his father even made it on a turntable so he could point it in different directions.
Cooooooollll Tony smiled and he returned his arm from the control panel. He moved through the water. He was able to see a ton of ocean muck and bubbles. Wahh he saw some fish. Up ahead of him he could see the ice.
They equipped the suit with some mini-torpedoes for the big chunks, a good old handy dandy laser that would heat and melt the ice, and of course an ice pick. Tony needed all those things so he could carve his way through the damn ice.
The gloves of the suit touched the ice in front of him and Tony got to work. He knew that Steve was deep in the middle so he needed to get a move on.
CHAPTER END:
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