Stan knew his brother was weird. He'd known that for over sixty years, it was ingrained in Ford. There was no way of separating it from him. Stan was the 'normal' twin, yay him.

Ford had decided that punching Stan was a good greeting, and that's exactly what he did. Great, did that mean that their fight was back on?

"This was an insanely risky move, restarting the portal. Didn't you read my warnings?"

Stan sighed, and rubbed his sore chin. "Warnings shmornings, how's about..." He couldn't help himself, it was just something people did. Boy were the kids going to be confused.

"You take that back!" Ford snapped, folding his arms and glaring at Stan. "I am not an egotistical maniac."

Stan groaned, and Ford's mouth dropped open. "What?!" Ford yelled, "Stan! Language!"

Stan rolled his eyes, "I'm an adult..." He said, and Ford sighed. "Then act like one." He responded snappily, and Stan growled. "I act like an adult! Most of the time..."

"Someone in this room is thinking very loudly." Ford said, raising his left hand up to his forehead. "Seriously. Who is that? I bet even you could hear it Stanley..."

"Well, I don't." Stan said, folding his arms, he looked over his shoulder and asked, "Is it male, or female?"

"Male." Ford said, squeezing his eyes shut, his brow furrowed like he was concentrating. "Pre-pubecent."

"Then it's Dipper." Stan said, "Open your eyes Ford." His brother shook his head slightly, and hissed under his breath. "I'm turning down my scope Stanley. It's giving me a headache."

"Hi, yeah, Mabel here." Stan looked at his niece, who held her hand up, like she was in a classroom. "Quick question, what's going on?!"

"You brought children..." Ford said, opening his eyes finally, "And they're my niece and nephew?! That's... What on Earth is a 'Soos'?"

Stan smiled at Ford, "That is a Soos." He said, pointing at the repair man, who was staring wide-eyed at the two Stans. "And we should probably explain to Dipper and Mabel what's going on. I bet they're confused about your one-sided conversation."

"You didn't have to say it." Ford said, sounding more tired than angry. "Hello, Dipper and Mabel. My name is Stanford Pines... Stan would you stop that!"

He glared at his brother, who rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever you say Ford." He huffed, "I didn't say anything."

"I'm getting to that part." Ford said, stepping towards the kids. He knelt down in front of Mabel and extended a hand towards her. "As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted. I am Stanford Pines...

"I am also a Psychic."

"Mom... What's a Mouth breather?"

Caryn Pines sighed. Her eldest son, even though he was only five, was always asking questions like that. It wasn't the worst swear word he had ever asked her for the definition, but she was really starting to worry about where he was learning them from.

"It means a stupid person. And I never want you to say that in front of a lady." She answered, "Or Stan."

"Does that mean that Stan is a lady?" Ford asked, watching his mother slice vegetables for supper.

Suddenly the boy's face turned sour. "Mom... Why would you say that?"

Caryn spun around, she believed that she had only thought something but she was obviously wrong. Ford gazed innocently up at her, and her heart melted slightly.

You see Filbrick? This is why she wanted kids. Her son's expression.

"I'm sorry Ford. I don't know why I said that." She apologized, and she waved a hand towards the open doorway, "Why don't you grab a stool and help me in here?"

"Okay..." The young boy said, dashing out of the kitchen and returning momentarily with said object. "It wasn't where you you told me it was. It was by the table."

Caryn raised an eyebrow at him, watching him bring it close to the counter. He clambered on up and looked down at the half diced carrots. "Mom... I'm sorry that I'm confusing you..."

"No no, it's fine." Caryn said, and she looked at the bowl sitting next to the cutting board. Just as she was about to ask him to pick it up, he did what she wanted him to. "Okay mom." He said, smiling up at her.

That was freaky.

Just as long as he keeps away from the knife... she thought, and he nodded. "Got it mom."

Could he could hear her thoughts?

"I can?"

Ahhh!

"You're a psychic?" Mabel asked, glaring suspiciously at Ford. "What number am I thinking of then..?"

"Negative eight." He stated, and her mouth dropped open. "What... How... What am I thinking of now?" She asked, and he sighed.

"You're thinking of Waddles, whoever that is... Correction, he's a pig." He said, and Mabel stared at him dumbfounded. She glanced at Stan, and he nodded at her.

"And yes Dipper," Ford's said, shaking Mabel's practically limp hand. "I am the Author of the Journals. I'm glad to see that they were put to good use... At least the third one."

"I... What?" Dipper asked, blinking at Ford, "You... Psychic? How..."

"To be honest, I don't know... One moment," Ford's closed his eyes again and added, "I'm picking up quite a number of... Stan, is there anyone else... The US Government?!" Ford held the side of his head and glared yet again at Stan. "You let the literal US Government know about this place?!"

Stan flinched, "Yeah... That happened..."

"Krazden ." Ford hissed, he breathed out in frustration and rubbed under his glasses. "We can handle this. Let me just..." He sighed, and his shoulders sagged. "That's better. I'm only focusing on you Stanley. I'm a bit out of practice completely shutting it off."

Stan nodded, and was about to say something when Mabel said, "But... Grunkle Stan. You're Stanford!"

Stan winced, and shot an apologetic look at Ford. "Sorry." He mumbled, and the two of them seemed to hold a staring contest. Ford's eye twitching every now and then.

"You... Stole my name?" Ford growled, "And you committed tax fraud with it?! Why... Stanley. I don't know if I legally want it back... You married a statue!"

Stan rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah... Not my best move... Sorry..."

Ford sighed. Needless to say, this wasn't what he had expected to be doing that evening. His mind was torn between three things. His own thoughts, memories of Bill, and Stan's thoughts.

Speaking of which...

He's back! He's back! He's back! He looks good, better than me... Need to work on that. He's back! How is he going to react to the Mystery Shack? I hope it's not bad... Ooh, I wonder how Wendy is doing. I didn't give her the day off... Hopefully she's safe... He's back! He's back! He's back!

"Mystery Shack?" Ford asked, choosing the most intriguing of Stan's thoughts. "What's that?"

A picture of his house flashed in the back of his mind. A giant sign hung on the side of the roof, reading 'Mystery Hack' in bold letters. A flash of his storage room revealed a tacky gift shop. Ford was suddenly very glad he had punched his brother. Stan deserved it.

"Stanley. I will discuss this with you later." He said, and folded his arms. "Right now we need to think of a plan..."

"Well... It looks like we're going to be down here for a while... Who wants to explain their entire mysterious backstory?!"

Caryn heard sniffles. It wasn't something that never happened, but it was uncommon.

She stepped down the hall and swung her sons' door open. Sitting on the top bunk was Ford, who was squeezing his thin legs close to his chest, his notebook flopped on top of his head.

"Stanford?" She asked, stepping inside the room. "What's wrong?"

"Ford's not here. He's in notebook town." Ford mumbled. But a quick thought of concern from his mother made him push his book off of his head. "Nothing is wrong... I'm fine..."

Caryn smiled sadly up at him, "I don't have to be as psychic as you to know that that's not true. Can I come up?" Ford nodded, and stared off at the wall across the room from him. He glanced over at his mother as she climbed up and sat next to him.

"What happened?" She asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. He bit his lip, and pulled his left sleeve up, displaying a brand new bruise.

"I hate school!" He cried, "I hate the kids! I hate the teachers! I hate everybody there! I hate my psychicness. I hate my fingers. I hate..."

Caryn lifted his arm, and inspected his bruise. He sighed when he heard her questioning thoughts, and responded, "You know how today was show-and-tell?"

Caryn nodded, and he pulled his arm away and pointed to his backpack, where the top of a shrunken head was poking out. "Everyone hated my presentation. Even the teacher... Mrs. Poppy, she hated it too. They all were thinking... They were thinking..." Ford sniffed, and pulled his sleeve back down and wrapped his arms around his knees. "Am I freak mom?"

Caryn's motherly urge took over. She pulled her son into a hug. "No. Of course not."

"But... Am I weird?" Ford asked, trying to push himself away from her. He almost winced when she laughed slightly.

"Or course. If you weren't, you wouldn't be my son." Caryn said, pushing Ford away and holding the tops of his shoulders. "You are perfect, just the way you are."

Ford nodded, and looked down at his injured arm. "Saltwater Taffy does sound good..." He said, looked back up into his mother's eyes. "And no. Dad doesn't need to know."

Caryn smiled. Ever since she'd realized that her son could hear thoughts she'd tried to communicate with him in that medium. He was really good.

"Then let's go." She said, hopping down and holding her arms up towards him. He rolled his eyes and jumped down next to her. "I'm nine mom..." He said, and she smiled. "Of course Ford. Now, will you be a gentleman and lead me to the store?"

"Of course." He said, and grabbed her hand. "Right this way."

"When we were fourteen we made a pact."

Dipper had asked his great uncles the very logical question of, 'How could you misunderstand each other if Ford can read minds?' and he had to say, it sort of made sense.

"Yes. Stanley sort of... Well, think of that period of a boy's life." Ford said, "Trust me. I was glad to get his thoughts out of my head." He shook his head, and Stan rolled his eyes. Ford sent a glare over at him (a habit that Dipper had noticed). "That was a one time thing Stan. I was twelve."

"You still liked her..." Stan said, and Ford rolled his eyes. "Trust me Stan. I have much bigger problems to deal with now." Ford said. "Much, much bigger. Like a certain Government..."

Stan nodded, "Anyway, when we were fourteen Ford promised that he wouldn't read my mind unless he had to. Or I told him to. It was actually good practice for him."

Ford nodded, he held his first Journal open, and was scribbling something down. Dipper wanted to ask him what it was, but was a bit scared.

"It's a page on my abilities." Ford mumbled, and Dipper blinked. His great uncle hadn't addressed anyone, but his random sentence had coincided with Dipper's thoughts...

"I thought you had turned your scope down." Stan said, after Dipper had started stammering. Ford shrugged a bit, "Yes... And no. Yours is the only one I can hear clearly, the rest are whispers. Dipper's thoughts are just really loud."

Dipper blushed a bit, and Mabel slugged him gently in the arm. "Nerd." She whispered.

Stan nodded, and picked up his story where he left off...

"Ford's brains seemed to get more impressive every year. And so did our project..."

"The question is simple. Dolly Mason, or Violet Green?"

"Um... Neither. Trust me, I used to think Carla only thought about makeup and boys."

"You know, sometimes you can be a real wet blanket with those super powers of yours."

Stan and Ford sat on the Stan o' War, sipping lemonade and staring off into the ocean. Stan, as always, was trying to get Ford to talk about 'normal' teenage things. But, of course, Ford wasn't a normal teenager.

"Actually, I use my powers to assist my logic." Ford said, tilting his head up and closing his eyes. The warmth of the sun warmed his face, and he felt like he was finally at peace. It could be hard when you heard everyone's thoughts... All the time... Every day... And had to forcibly block them out. The beach was the one place Ford's could actually get silence.

"Uh-huh. Sounds like you Poindexter." Stan said, "Well, which is it?"

"It would have to be Violet. At least the guys she likes are somewhat tolerable." Ford said, and shot a dirty look over at his brother, "Don't you dare try to set us up. Honestly, the girls around here are insufferable."

"You didn't think that about Cath-" "Shut up Stan. You are the one responsible for that."

"Of course Poindexter. It's always me." Stan said, rolling his eyes. Ford huffed and added, "Well, when it is you, then who else are we supposed to blame?"

"Uh... You?" Stan answered with a shrug. "You're not exactly Mr. Perfect."

"I never said I was." Ford said, taking a swig of his drink. "You added a bit too much sugar." He stated, and Stan chuckled, "I didn't add enough." He retaliated, "Honestly, is there a candy that you do like?"

"Saltwater Taffy?" Ford suggested, and Stan looked at him wide-eyed. "But... But I thought Dad banned that!"

Ford smirked off at the ocean, "Oh, I have my ways of getting it."

"What about you? Did you end up going to your dream school?"

Dipper's thoughts had quieted down dramatically, Stan's were still mostly filled with He's back!, Mabel's were soft enough that Ford could completely block them, and he wasn't sure that the Soos had thoughts.

Memories of Backupsmore filled his mind. Did he go to WCT? No. That dream never became reality.

"Not exactly..." He answered, tightening his shoulders. "I... I went to Backupsmore."

Stan did his best not to laugh, but his thoughts said it all. Ford glared at him, and Stan mumbled something under his breath.

"But... Couldn't you have gone to like... Harvard? Or Oxford? Or... Dipper, help me with good colleges." Mabel asked, and Ford's couldn't help but grin slightly. "Yes, I could have gone there, but something... Or someone, sort of talked me into it."

"Who?" Dipper breathed, and Ford's grin got wider. "Her name, was Carla Bell-bottoms McCorkle..."

He looked over at his brother and added, "Yes, I know you hate me."

"But... How did you not see that Bill was lying to you?"

Ford and Dipper sat across the table from each other. Ford had been telling Dipper about his own mistakes, which did help the young boy feel better about his own. As always, Dipper asked a very logical question.

"Simple. He told me that he wasn't human," Ford's said, rubbing his can of Pitt Cola, "He said that since he wasn't from my Dimension, my powers didn't work on him. I believed him."

Dipper nodded, "That's not true, is it?"

Ford shook his head. "I don't know how Bill did it. But he somehow blocked my access to the mindscape, that's how I can hear people's thoughts. It's how project Mentum worked. Your thoughts were fuzzy... Well, they're still fuzzy."

Dipper nodded again, "I'm sooo sorry for breaking it..." He started, but Ford put his hand on Dipper's. "Don't worry Dipper, we'll figure something out. We're not the first idiots to be tricked by... My goodness, she got the..."

"Did someone say Unicorn Hair?!"

"You know what? You've been such a 'good' prisoner today, I'm finally going to give you what you've always wanted!"

Ford groggily looked up at Bill. His wrists were hanging up next to his forehead, and his legs were limp. The cuff around his neck made him feel like he was suffocating, but the world was more important than his own bodily comfort.

"What are you playing at?" He choked out. His throat felt like it had pebbles shoved down it, and it was screaming at him to get it water. Every inch of his body seemed to be in different levels of pain, the worst being his neck and hands.

"Come on guys!" Bill called out to his 'friends', "Should we give him his late birthday present?"

Ford heard an awful chorus of "Yeah!"s, and suddenly his head felt like it was on fire.

He had literally never experienced pain like this before. The rest of his body seemed to melt into oblivion, right then he was only a head. A head that had lava for a brain. He held in his screams for only twenty seconds, and the last thing he saw was Bill's oh-too happy eye...

"I found Grunkle Ford! He's golden, but not in a good way!"

Stan nearly gasped when he saw his brother. Ford's face was twisted in a look of absolute horror and pain. His hand stretched out towards the window. What had happened to him?

The moment they pulled Mayor Tyler out and everyone turned back into flesh, Ford fell down on his face, a groan escaping him. He held a hand up to his forehead, and a small whimper escaped him, completely involuntary.

Then Ford saw Dipper and Mabel.

"Kids!" He said, pushing himself to his knees. "You're okay..." He leaned over to one side and mumbled, "Ooh... Everything hurts."

Mabel and Dipper rushed up to him, and the three of them hugged for a moment. Then the kids helped him to his feet.

"Stan... I... I can't..." Ford's eyes widened. "Stan... It's so quiet..."

"Grunkle Ford," Mabel said, grabbing his hand, "Dipper said that you know a way to beat Bill."

Ford blinked then looked down at the young girl. "I... I do! Now... Let's see, does anyone have something to draw with? A pencil? Pen?" He noticed a can of spray-paint and reached down to pick it up. "Perfect!"

"Can you believe that the the way to defeat Bill was just some random guy in a flannel shirt?"

Needless to say, if and when Ford thought about the Zodiac, he always expected it to make some sci-fi ray, but no. When the ten of them held hands in the center of the circle a young man had appeared, called himself Alex, and made quick work of the dream demon. He had waved goodbye, said something about, "Disney's not gonna like this", and fazed back into his own dimension.

Ford sat on the couch next to Stan and Mabel. Dipper sat on the floor at his feet, his head leaning against Stan's knees.

"It isn't the strangest thing that's ever happened to me. That belongs to the piglet warriors." Ford said, rubbing the bandage Stan had helped him put on his left wrist.

"Mabel, do you need help getting Dipper upstairs?" Stan asked,.and Mabel shook her head. "I got it."

The two older men watched Mabel begin to drag her brother away. He woke up just enough to help Mabel shuffle upstairs, and out of sight.

"Ford... Is there something wrong? Besides the obvious of course."

Ford looked at his brother with a pained expression, then he looked back down at his hands. "Bill... Bill said he would give me what I always wanted... And he did."

Stan raised an eyebrow at him, and Ford's choked and held his right hand to his head. "He... It's so quiet Stan. How do you stand it?"

Stan's eyes widened, "He took your..."

"Psychic abilities? Yes. At least, I believe so. I can't hear anything besides speech and my own thoughts." Ford answered, "I guess... I'm just glad he didn't cut off any of my fingers."

Stan wrapped an arm around Ford's shoulders. "I'm sorry for being such a dummy." He said, and Ford rolled his eyes. "You're fine Stan. I'm the one who tried to take him out with only one charge and a twelve-year-old."

"I can give you tips on how to be normal." Stan said, and Ford's tried to smile at him.

"Thanks Stan."

And... I'm back!

I thought this up a few days ago. So... As always...

And I added my own theory of what the completed Zodiac would do. Summon Alex Hirsch! It makes sense. Yeah. Disney wouldn't like that.

Now, a lot of you have asked, "How do you keep coming up with these?" and I can only say... Um... I might have made a deal with a dream demon... Just kidding, I'm just a weird person. Plus I have a lot of time not really doing much.

Thank you all so much! You guys are the best! Have a great day!

-BrilliantLight