[4]

"She doesn't want to see me, dude," Garfield grumbled before taking a hearty bite of his burrito.

"Garfield, please," Koriand'r implored with her hands on her hips, "you cannot tell me that you do not wish to see if she is alright."

"I already know she's not," he said through his food, "but she doesn't want my help. I'm not going to beg at her door."

"Don't be so spiteful, Garfield. What she saw last night deeply upset her."

"Wouldn't know," he shrugged impatiently while calculating the best angle for his next bite.

Kori huffed and tried seizing the burrito for his full attention, but Garfield's reflexes were always heightened whenever his food was concerned. The burrito was pulled from harm's way, but in doing so, some guts were spilled onto the floor.

"Damn it, Kori."

"Me?" she scoffed as he bent over to clean up the rice and salsa from the floor, "You are being an infant."

"Look, I tried talking to her, and you saw what happened, so I don't know what else to tell you, Star."

"Tell me you will go check on her."

"Fucking A, fine, I will, okay?" he grated and took in a mouthful, depressed by his burrito's sudden emptiness. As he chewed, Garfield caught her anticipating glare, "What, now? Right this minute?"

"That would be the most appreciated time to do it, yes."

Garfield dropped his burrito on his plate and tossed it onto the kitchen counter with audible irritation.

Observing victory, Kori nodded and hurried over to pick up the tea tray she had already prepared. Next to a small pot of brewed tea was Raven's favorite mug, a small plate of shortbread cookies.

Gar noted these little details in Kori's gesture, wondering if she acted out of guilt for telling him about Raven's vision in the first place, and this is her way of trying to set things straight. He didn't know how to break it to her that this one might take more than some tea and cookies. In fact, bringing him along might be counterproductive to the cause, but Gar wanted to see her. As much as he'd like to ignore Raven back to save some face, he had a few things left to say.

Don't try to make it into more than it was.

If she didn't give a shit, why should he? What kind of game did she expect him to play with these moods?

Still, a pooling dread filled his gut while his feet dragged behind Kori. The last time he saw her, she glared daggers after an outburst nearly took the whole Titanium down. Maybe she needed more time. Maybe he needed to suit up?

earlier that morning

Fortunately for his hangover, Kori's hazardous smoothie set him straight, and with this new animosity for Raven to fuel him, Garfield managed to power through the drills with some ease.

When Raven returned for training that morning, one might have thought Garfield had done something indefensible. She not only repelled his eye contact when walking by but then took the extra effort in finding a spot on the opposite side of the gym. As if he needed a stronger hint.

Eventually, they paired off for one-on-ones, and he was relieved to be matched with Kori. She was his preferred sparring partner anyway, as her Tamaranean offenses were sharp, brutal, and often challenging. Even the smallest distraction would have him hurting for days to come.

Today, however, he was on his game. He had finally managed to trap Kori in an Okaara chokehold when they heard the strange whine of splintering glass before the wall came crashing down to the floor. At the harsh eruption of glass, Gar loosened his hold to further extend himself as a barrier between Kori and the percussion of mirror shards.

He heard Raven's voice trembling before he saw her crouched over Roy on the ground.

"Fuck, fuck, Roy? Shoot, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Chill, woman."

Garfield caught the light off of a large piece of float glass protruding from his forearm. Roy's fingers tentatively took careful hold of the shard and ripped it from his flesh with a sharp grunt. Without permission, Raven took hold of his bleeding arm and repaired the laceration.

"What the hell was that about?" Vic yelled as he examined the wall of fractured mirrors.

Raven's dark energy soon swarmed the room, lifting each individual shard and guiding back towards the fractured wall. As quickly as it came crashing down, the mirror was mended, just spackled with black scratches where the glass was fused together.

Following the residual silence, Raven apologized again before leaving the gym.

Garfield's gut twisted when she finally acknowledged him on her way out with a sharp and distressed glance. He had almost reached out for her but found his fists clenching instead.

"What did you do, man?" Vic had asked Roy as Karen helped him off of the ground.

"Me?" Roy nodded towards Gar, "better question's, what did he do?"

"Nothing!" Garfield asserted more to himself than his teammates, and he didn't like Vic's skeptical glance.

"She was heated when he got down here, bud," Roy said skeptically.

"Yeah, well...I didn't do anything on purpose." Garfield struggled to find a way to explain what happened without stammering. "I was just asking about what happened last night, and she went all red eyes on me, okay?"

"What happened last night?"

"It was the crow dream again," Kori told Vic, who then released an agitated sigh.

"What is it with this crow bullshit?"

"It is not bullshit, Roy. She could be in danger. All of us could be."

"Alright, alright, we'll figure this out later," Vic said, "let's refocus, crow or no crow we still need work, right? B, go suit up so we can work on transitions without you flashing us, yeah?"

Garfield just nodded vaguely and headed to the locker room, and after telling Roy and Karen for a two-on-one against Kori, Vic followed Garfield down the hall.

"Hey, hold up, man, you alright?"

Garfield paused before the locker that had his alias written across it in big green graffiti.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he told him as he pulled a pair of shifting pants from the locker's shelf, "just annoyed. That girl's a piece of work."

"You knew damn well what you were getting into." Vic chuckled, turning to let Gar change.

Gar grinned faintly. "Yeah, I guess I did."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Right now," Gar clapped his friend's large metal shoulder once he was changed. "I'm gonna see how fast I can turn an ape into a kangaroo without breaking a roundhouse."

Vic approved with a friendly nudge as they reentered the dome, where Kori had Karen pinned beneath her leg, and Roy's neck trapped between her arms.

[5]

It occurred to Raven as she sat before the long mirror in her room, that Kori made hair braiding seem a lot easier than it actually was. Even though it appeared the alien simply pulled at her scalp like an ape grooming for fleas, there was a secret, delicate art that Raven's clumsy fingers couldn't seem to master.

Her apparent inability simply to weave sections of damp hair around each other in a civil manner incited her already shortened fuse, and she conceded to throwing her hair over her shoulder in defeat. She just needed it to stop falling in her face as she studied, so a forsaken half-braid would work for now.

Raven stood and stretched out her legs, rusty from being crossed beneath her for too long. She wrapped her cloak around before sitting back down on her bed, where the thick-spined Azarathian manuscript still lay open. Beside it was the small leather mediation journal, it's cover still chalky from its extended furlough on her bookshelf. In recent years, she had grown lazier with the practice of logging her reflections before her mediations, finding it to be more time-consuming than beneficial. But those were during times of peace.

At present, Raven's mind raged with uncertainty and anxiety, seemingly unable to recognize the bigger picture of what was happening to her. There were a few different moving parts to pin down, so in –literally–dusting off the old journal, she hoped to gain a path to some insight.

She let the notebook fall open onto her lap, revealing a freshly-inked list of events, questions, missions. Raven had detailed her dreams, her memories, and last night's vision. Each and every blurry image that she could recall was accounted for.

Among the frenzied list connected by arrows and brackets was one point that she underlined a few different times. Loss of emotional control, and so her powers, and it was hurting people. Luckily Roy was spared from what could have been much uglier, but Raven wouldn't be risking it further.

From the fear of the crow to the rage at the roller rink, the mental barricades she spent years building up were failing her. It hadn't just been all fear or anger, and while Raven wouldn't claim to know much about love, she was no stranger to lust.

That morning, as Garfield crawled on top of her, an intensity flared within her that confounded her. Raven believed that she would have had him right there in that gym if her better sense hadn't snapped her out of it in time. Everything she prepared to say to him dissipated entirely from her head and were instead replaced by a carnal instinct...a pining that alarmed her. Garfield hadn't the slightest idea of how poorly that could have gone for him.

I just wish you'd see yourself the way I do.

He was just a boy who had this fantasy of her in which she could be a normal, but ignoring the dangers of her power when convenient wasn't something he should knowingly pursue. Garfield deserved to be with someone who could love as much as he did, and to choose her would be an incredible disservice.

I hate that you do this to yourself.

If Raven would remain a disciplined force for good, there were some things that she would have to sacrifice. If only he could see what the Crow showed her last night, what it threatened her with, he'd understand.

Raven just wished she hadn't kissed him back, for now, her words seemed hollow and forced. He knew what she wanted, the doubt angry within his eyes, which made all of this harder. Yet, Raven knew she'd take disbelief over the hurt she saw in his face when she gaslighted him this morning. And even though she didn't intend to at the time, she simply echoed the very insecurities he trusted with her yesterday. Raven felt sick, knowing how much more he deserved than to be treated like that. But he'd have to learn somehow, Raven was just...bad at this.

Shaking off her anguish, Raven returned to her journal until her eyes paused on an underlined question at the end of the page: How does it keep reaching me?

At first, it called through her sleep, then through a memory. Now, it's sending her into fits, showing her precognitive visions of her darkest, most destructive self wherein she is being "freed."

One portal, one door. No passage other, no more.

As the thought came to Raven, she grabbed her pen and turned to a fresh page.

Be free, child.

With another series of messy arrows, Raven drafted a flow of fragmented statements and questions. Namely asking what her infertility has to do with killing the Titans. What end does this creature hope to meet? And if it's Raven's rage that it sought to unleash..after everything it's done...what made it so sure that it would be spared?

As the thoughts ran frantically through her mind, Raven could help but return to the question of how. How has it dug it's talons so deep into her that it can penetrate her mental defenses to disrupt her waking consciousness?

Raven glanced back over to the old, chalky page of her Azarathian book where she had found the shield spell in the first place. A few more times, she searched the text for anything she may have glanced over that could explain why it failed to block the Crow's vision.

At first, Raven theorized that it was because the shield only kept out psychic breaches while she slept, but the notes clearly state that it shouldn't matter what mental state the recipient is in.

In her frustration, Raven's hand instinctively reached for her mother's stone before bitterly recalling its absence. Her heart wanted to break with an acceptance that she truly misplaced something irreplaceable and so precious to her. That rock was a memento of her brave mother, who lost everything to protect those she loved for a world that had already forgotten her name.

As she saw it clearly in her mind, Raven picked up her pen and journal and quickly drew the pendant from her memory. As her pen etched the likeness of the stones on the page, Raven tried to remember her mother's voice.

I am here.

In this way, Raven desperately hoped, this poorly drawn remembrance of Arella's gift could maybe still serve its purpose as a bond between her mother's shade and herself.

Raven's pen abruptly stopped.

A bond. Something that linked Arella's spirit to her from tremendous and intangible distances. Depending, a shield like the one she cast might not be effective on bonds as intense and established as that between her and her mother. And even though it felt irrelevant to the Crow, her pulse hastened with inspiration as she wrote the word bond on the page, just before she heard a knock at her door.

[6]

"Raven?" Kori tapped her knuckles softly against the cambion's door. "Since you missed dinner...I brought you some tea and cookies."

As silence answered her, Koriand' r looked at Garfield grievously, signaling for him to try. But when he shook his head intently, her eyes widened with rage. After a sigh, Gar called out Raven's name doubtfully, not realizing how nervous he actually was.

The quiet lagged a moment longer before the tall metal hatch slid open, and Garfield resented the overt look of complacency in Kori's face before she bustled into Raven's room.

As Kori gently set the tray down on the bed, Gar watched Raven, wrapped in her indigo cloak, cross the room to extinguish her candles individually. The sharp scent of singed Palo alto and candle wicks stung his nose. A large book lay open on her bed next to a journal marked with foreign scribbles.

When Raven observed the tea tray's thoughtful display, a faint smile swept her lips. "That's very kind, thank you."

"It is jasmine," Kori held her hands together, "I know it is a favorite of yours." Raven agreed and thanked her again, her eyes still shying from Garfield. "Of course. Karen and I made plans to spread activated clay pastes onto our faces later if you would like to join us?"

Garfield was privately amused, watching Raven try to hide her severe disinterest in the face of Kori's ramblings. "Karen procured earth samples that were once a secret preserved by the ancient Aztecs of Mesoamerica."

"As...exhilarating as that sounds," Raven said as politely as she could feign, "I have some reading I would like to get through. Next time, maybe?"

Kori eyed the notebook on Raven's bed filled with Azarathian markings and smiled, "Yes, next time. Please let me know if you would need any assistance." After Raven nodded, Kori swiftly left the room, careful to shut the door behind her to trap Gar and Raven alone.

Raven regarded him blankly for a few seconds before pouring herself some tea as Gar awkwardly made his way to her slipper chair.

In his head, Gar began listing all the points he meant to make to let her know exactly why he hadn't done anything to deserve her sudden hostility. He planned to tell her how he wouldn't let her play this game of isolation, cutting everyone out to protect them. He'd then explain why the things she said to him this morning were messed up, and how he thought he could trust her to be straight with him.

Raven also rested on her bed's corner and faced him, softly blowing the steam from her mug. She could see the workings of his mind turning over and over, as his eyes focused on her rug between his thick brows furrowed with concentration. He was determined, she could feel it, and a faint reverence brightened her features.

"I'm sorry," she said, hoping to see his face twist with surprise, but instead, his eyes only lifted to hers.

"You promised me no bullshit, remember?" Gar said, still set on saying his piece, "you weren't even going to tell me?"

Raven studied him before shrugging. "You didn't give me a chance to. And maybe you were just trying to deflect what I was telling you because you didn't want to hear it."

"You're right, I didn't." A small laugh cracked his lips, "I know what you're trying to do, and it's not gonna work."

Raven's eyebrow arched cynically, "And what is it I'm doing, exactly?"

"Lying."

He could sense her nerves hiding beneath a scornful laugh.

"Oh, I am?"

"Yeah," he chuckled spitefully, "about what happened last night, and to yourself," his voice grew louder as she stood, "by trying to keep up this melodrama about how you're too dangerous and I need to stay away. Tell me I'm wrong."

"You're wrong."

"See!" He said smugly and pointed at her, "you're lying right now."

"Yeah? Okay, smart ass," Raven crossed her arms, "enlighten me, then. Since you've got it all figured out."

"Alright," he smirked and stood up as well, "whatever really happened last night spooked you into thinking you needed to shut everyone out, again, so by telling me not to 'make this into more than it is,' you're protecting me...from you?" Her bitter silence further validated him. "Sound about right?"

"Fuck you," Raven growled before turning away.

"I'm hardly in the mood, Rae." He spoke sincerely, but the slight perk of his lips grew wider when she faced him with a severe grimace.

"For fucks sake," she shouted and covered her face exasperatedly, but Gar wasn't convinced it was to hide her amusement. "Can you be serious, like ever?"

"Oh, come on," he laughed, "you're the one playing games, I'm not allowed to have fun?"

"I'm not playing games-"

"You're playing at something. Leading me on one minute...ignoring me the next." He scoffed and began pacing towards the door. "So what, you get to act like you don't give a shit...throw fits that give me whiplash, but I can't make a joke? Got it."

"Garfield, stop it," Raven suddenly stood to stop him from leaving, "you know I care, alright? But I just can't be with you the way you want me to."

"What do you mean the way I want you to?"

"Like," Raven's eyes fell awkwardly, "with you."

Her meaning was realized behind his eyes as a vision of her beneath him, biting her smile bashfully. In his mind, she was happy, excited even, at least in the small ways that Raven revealed herself. Embarrassed but without remorse. And when her face began to lightly flush, Gar knew Raven was also picturing them, which provided him some irrational encouragement.

"How would you know?" He asked softly when he removed the space between them, standing closer than she was visibly comfortable with.

"What?" She asked nervously, mindlessly playing with the ends of her hair.

"How do you know you can't?" Gar asked again, restraining himself from sweeping a stray bit of hair from her face. "Are you so sure that getting something you want is wrong?"

There was a quiet frenzy in the way her eyes staggered around his face. He could see she wanted so badly to believe that her denial meant control.

"Something like that," Raven whispered just before he bowed his head to hers, but she gently pushed him away, "come on Gar."

Gar backed off with an exasperated grin, "What would you have me do, then? Just pretend like the last few days didn't happen?"

With some space, Raven appeared to regain some composure and a level tone. "I meant it when I told you that I don't do this. I'm just not...equipped to handle feelings like that, okay? Not for anyone."

Garfield said nothing but shook his head with a spiteful grin on his lips.

"There are just too many ways it could go wrong. So, if it would be easier to forget, then yeah, that's what I want."

Her words seeped into his bones like a dull ache, but what Garfield couldn't stomach was her desperation to refuse herself. To believe this bullshit that will, in the end, leave her empty. She'd really prefer that than let him in?

"I can't," Gar finally said, "not after yesterday," he walked up to her again, and brazenly took her face into his hands, "you can't convince me that you don't feel this. I know you do."

"Gar, why," Raven's voice faltered with discomfort while she pulled his hands down, "why won't you let it go? Huh? Can't just knowing be enough?"

Gar sighed solemnly with a defeated frown and took small steps backward, "I'm not gonna do that. I can't."

After Raven turned her back to him, he took his leave and closed the door gently behind him. He hesitated when he heard a muffled crashing of ceramic from her room, but stubbornly set his feet back towards the common room.