It was the last group of the day, process group. This group was mainly easy and they really didn't make us talk a lot, least Dudley hasn't the last couple of days.
"Last group of the day," mumbled Dudly.
"You want to go home too," I said.
He smiled. "Who wants to get us started? Anakin?"
"Pass, your picking on the new guy."
"Alright. I'll cut you a break. Who wants to bail Anakin out?"
"My kid didn't come during visitation," said Vardo. "She has a fever. My husband says it's low and it will pass. She should be up and bouncing around in a couple of days."
"That's hard," said Dudly. "As a mother, I imagine you want to be with her."
"I am furious with my husband. I am sure he's letting her stay up late and eat junk food. I'm lucky if I have a kid when I get out of here."
"Now Vardo," said Dudly, "That is catastrophizing. How can we rephrase that?"
"My husbands doing the best he could, but I know I can do better."
Dudley tilted his head. "I'll take that. Can you talk to you husband and try to co-parent while you are in here?"
"Parent by remote? We can try. I'll talk to him."
"Excellent. Mishi, how was your day?"
She shrugged.
"Well, lets start with what did Dr. Zurdi say at your check up?"
"She said that it will take three weeks for the wound to heal. The bandage can come off tomorrow if I promise not to pick at the stitches."
"And are you going to?"
"No. I'll be good."
"It's not being good, Mishi. You are not morally corrupt because you are hurting yourself. You are not here against your will because you are a bad person. We are trying to teach you to be healthy. I would like for you to say, 'I am not going to pick at my stitches because I am choosing to be healthy.'"
"Okay. I wont pick at my stitches because I am choosing to be healthy."
"Very good. That is a big step for you. I am proud of you."
Mishi smiled, and I winked at her. Way to go kiddo. But part of me was worried about her, and I decided to watch her.
"Alright," said Dudly, "Miss Flee how did your day go?"
Flee just started to cry, not like softly cry, I mean screaming sob. Sighing, Permeens face palmed, Verdo swore and rolled her eyes, Mishi covered her ears and looked like she was going to cry too. I didn't know what to do. The quickest way to shut Flee up was to choke her, but that would cost me extra days. I didn't know how to calm her down 'cause I didn't know what she was upset about.
"Flee," pleaded Dudly. "Take a deep breath and try to talk to me. It's alright!"
"Just send her to her damn room and let her cry," said Verdo, "She's upsetting the kid."
I looked over to Mishi, and saw that she was shaking from Flee's outburst, tears rolling down her cheeks. She had her knees pulled up into her chest and she was shaking violently. Fuck it, I thought, give me extra days.
I got up and picked up Mishi bridal style and just went out of the room. Dudley was so busy to calm Flee down he didn't say anything or he just didn't care. Jasmine ran past us as I took her to the Day Room. I sat at a table and put her in my lap.
"Hey it's okay," I said. "It's okay."
"That's what is gonna happen to me, isn't it?" sobbed Mishi. "I'm just gonna go crazy and they wont let me out."
"No, no, honey," I said. "Listen Flee, just… just uh…"
"Doesn't take her meds and wont take any responsibility for her actions," said a man behind me.
I turned around and saw Chance standing there, and he came and sat with us at the table.
"Flee interrupted my nap," he said. "And it was a good nap too. I was right in the middle of-"
"I don't care who you were in the middle of," I snapped at him.
"What? She's eighteen, and she has a boyfriend."
"We dont need to hear details of your fantasy sex life."
"Fine," huffed Chance. "But it was a good dream."
"You don't take meds either Chance," said Mishi, obviously ignoring us. "Why not?"
"I take meds," he said.
"Yeah for nightmares, but not for anything else."
"Maybe that is my only problem."
"Oh," she said, and snuggled back into my arms.
"No," I said, "He is really fucked up trust me. He dreams about murdering kirro birds and has an army of evil astromech droids to do his bidding. Locking him up here is the only way to save the galaxy from eternal damnation."
Mishi giggled in my chest.
"Do either of you follow the war?" asked Chance, solemnly.
"Bits and pieces," said Mishi.
"Did till I got in here," I said.
"Do you know what happened to the 276th division?"
"They were on a mission to one of the remote regions of the outer rim and just disappeared," I said.
"I was there. We were on a planet, I can't remember the name. We had not been to Coruscant in months, been home in years. All of a sudden the Seperatist have me surrounded, and I am cut off from my entire division. I fight my way out back to my commander, and he just kind of looks at me." Chance wipes a tear from his eye. "He takes me back to the ship, and puts me in medical restraints. Then he tells me that… that there were no droids, and I-I shot- I shot my own men. They bring me here, and I got better, and they let me go. I started drinking. They checked me into rehab. Got out stayed clean for six months, drank again, except this time I was cutting myself, which I can't remember. So now they checked me in here, again, and they wont give me a damn release date, so I don't talk to them."
Mishi was crying, this time not over Flee, but over Chance. I was about to cry, but I was trying to hold it together. Chance was so… easy going and happy, I could believe he had suffered that much pain and guilt. I remembered bits and pieces of killing the sand people. I couldn't imagine blacking out and killing someone I loved and had grown up with, like a brother, as the clones call each other.
"Alright," I said, in commander Skywalker mode, "the way I see it we all want out of here, and we all need to do things really painful to get out of here, so we are going to help each other. Mishi needs to let her arms heal, and get fucking self-esteem. Chance needs to just try, talk to the doctors, go to groups, get on some meds, and just try to live again. I need to gain weight and basically get my shit together. So, we gonna do it together. Chance we gonna make you go to group, Mishi I am gonna get you to understand your life is worth living, and ya'll are gonna make me eat. And we are gonna get out here. Together."
"Okay," said Mishi.
"This isn't going to work," said Chance. "But deal."