"I gotta go," Brittany said again. I sat up quickly.
"What's up? What's wrong?" I asked. Brittany looked conflicted.
"I-uh…"
"Britt…"
"Stephen is in respiratory distress and he is hypotensive," She said, "It's only been a day and a half after surgery. I gotta go run some tests and check upon him."
"Why wasn't I called?"
"Santana…"
"I'm going with you," I said getting out of bed and grabbing some clothes and undergarments. I dug through my panties and threw Brittany a pair.
"I might have a skirt and a blouse, that'd fit you," I said walking into my closet.
Brittany immediately took Stephen to take some blood.
I was stuck in the conference room with the other doctors that were on the case. We were all waiting for my dad to give us the next plan of action.
"Why are we even still working on this?" Sebastian huffed.
"Sebastian, we're doctors," Quinn stated. Sebastian just rolled his eyes.
"And we did everything we could do. The kid is going to die. Should I start filling out the death certificate now or later?" He said. I slammed my hand on the table.
"Sebastian, shut the fuck up. We'll keep trying to save him until I call time of death. Another thing, you-"
"Dr. Lopez, you've got to be-"
"Did I say I was done talking?" I said calmly, getting up from my chair, "We will continue to treat Stephen until his parents say so or, like I said earlier, until I call the time of death."
"Santana, you've got to be kidding me. He's already on his deathbed."
"What's happening?" Brittany asked, walking in the conference room.
"Brainiac, what's the chances of Stephen surviving?" Sebastian said snapping his fingers at Brittany. I was so close to launching myself over the chair and smacking him up but Brittany grabbed the hem of my scrubs. Her hand dropped from the hem and intertwined with mine.
"Fifteen percent and dropping," She said, "San, his white blood cells are low but not nonexistent."
"Start him on Glucocorticoids," I said, staring Sebastian down.
"Dr. Lopez, you can't be serious," He exasperated.
"What's going on?" My father's voice filled the room.
"Stephen is a loss case, Dr. Lopez," Sebastian said, "Chances of his survival of this infection is nonexistent."
"Dad, his chances are slim but there's still a chance!" I shouted, "Dr. Smythe here wants to pull the plug prematurely. His white blood cells are low but not destroyed. I want to start him on Glucocorticoids, a steroid to help build up his white blood cells."
"Do you believe this is the best plan of action?" He asked.
"Yes, I do," I said.
"Hmm, okay. Go ahead," My dad said, "I trust you as a doctor." He left and Sebastian slid the file over to me.
"You're just putting this kid through all this pain for nothing," He spat, "This isn't Iraq or wherever the fuck you were. We're in Lima, Ohio for god sakes." He stormed out. I turned my attention to Brittany.
"Thanks for these," Brittany said, once Sebastian left. She pointed to her neck. My hand touched the loud ass hickey on her neck.
"Ouch." I chuckled, grabbed my hand and kissed it.
"Stephen pointed it out the moment I stepped into his room." I sighed.
"You okay?" Brittany asked me.
"Yeah, Santana can always handle confrontation," Quinn said, "That's why she was captain of the Cheerios. There was this one time with another cheerleading team at a competition where they just got in our face and the captain threw a fake punch at Santana and she didn't even flinch." Brittany shifted uncomfortably.
"Anyways, do you want me to start him on steroids, or do you wanna do that?" I asked.
"Let me go and start him on steroids," She said.
"I'm gonna be in my office," I said, "Whenever you have time come visit me behind the stack of books I will be drowning in." She smiled and gave me a peck on the cheek.
"Can I accompany you, Dr. Lopez?"
"Sure," I said warily.
I walked into my office and the door slammed shut. I turned to see what did that.
Quinn stood at the door, staring at me hungrily.
"Stop looking at me like that," Quinn smirked and started walking towards me.
"You looked really good there. Taking charge and talking to Sebastian like that," she purred. My butt bumped against my desk.
"Quinn, stop." I held my hand up to stop her from coming closer.
"Why? Santana, don't you miss me?" She said. She took my hand and kissed my fingertips.
"I miss you," She said, "Miss you withering beneath me. Your little moans and whimpers you make when you're about to come." She pushed my hand down and her lips attacked my neck. I fell for it for a quick second. Eyes fluttering closed as the wave of familiarity washed over me.
Blonde hair flashed through my mind. Long blonde hair, long legs, and blue eyes. My eyes snapped opened and widened to probably a comical size.
"Quinn!" I yelled pushing her back, "I will not let you do this!"
Quinn just stared at me.
"Do what?" She said in an innocent voice.
"This!" I shouted, "I'm with Brittany now and just because you and Finn are on a break, you think you can come running back to me? I'm not a fool nor am I a rebound."
"Santana, it's always been me and you!"
"No Quinn! It's always been me! You always left, Quinn! Always!" I shouted. My body shook with anger.
"I left? You left me! TO go be a fucking combat doctor in the fucking Army, San.
"I have always been here for you! Even when I wasn't here, I was still begging to be by your side! To be yours, truly and completely!" I shouted, "You never wanted that with me, Quinn! You can't come back to me because you think I'm still going to be here!"
"And you get that with Brittany! Santana, she's a child!"
"Brittany cares for me and it's mutual. I don't feel like I have to fight to be with her!"
"Oh, and you felt that way with me?"
"Of fucking course. I always felt like I had to fight for you because you always left. I never felt this security that I feel with Brittany when I was with you," I said calming down.
"So what? Now she's the love of your life?" I looked at Quinn. She was crying. I wiped the tears that were spilling out my eyes.
"Yes. She is."
"Santana, we had plans," Quinn sniffled. I shook my head 'no'.
"Not anymore," I said, "You can go back to work, Dr. Fabray." She nodded and headed for the door.
"Oh and Quinn, stop doing that Santana-pedia shit to make Brittany feel insecure. Next time you do it, I will have no problem checking you."
Every medical journal about rhinocerebral mucormycosis I could get my hands on was splayed out in front of me. My brain hurt from all the reading. My door creaked open. Brittany stood there with a slice of cake.
"Hey," She said softly, "Kurt made you a birthday cake. I thought I'd bring you a slice."
"I don't want to think about my birthday right now," I said, "It has passed so let's just call this regular cake." I reached out to grab the cake but Brittany pulled it away.
"Dame un beso," She said, butchering the pronunciation. I laughed.
"Who taught you that?" I asked. Her cheeks turned a rosy pink.
"I asked Santiago to teach me some Spanish. I see how you speak it when you're around your family."
"Not all the time," I said reaching for the cake again.
"Majority of the time," She said, putting the cake down. She walked around the desk, pulled out my chair, and sat on my lap.
"Dame un beso," She said once again. I smiled and pecked her on the lips.
"One more," She whispered.
"Uno más," I whispered back. She smirked before pecking my lips again.
"How's the reading going?" She asked. The feeling in the room did a complete 180. Going from sexually charged to professional in a sense, in just seconds.
"Britt, I don't think there's anything we can do. Sebastian was right. Having him on the steroid is just prolonging what will eventually happen," I sighed.
"Should we talk to the parents and give them their choices?" Fear started to creep up my spine.
"I-I don't think I can," I said, "I-I thought I could find a way… or even a cure for Stephen. He's such a good boy. A young one and he has so much more to experience."
"It's okay babe. I can do it for you," Brittany said, rubbing my back.
I sat in my office as Brittany went to talk to Stephen's parents about our next course of action. Which is no course of action. They must think you're a coward. Not being able to face them to tell them there is nothing else we can do to save their son. I sat in my office not being able to move. The walls felt as if they were closing in on me.
Britt: I told them...they wanna speak with you, san.
My body has never felt more tight and constricted. The text seemed to be glaring at me. Mocking me.
To Britt: I'm coming. Gimme a sec.
I felt as if I was Beatrix Kiddo awakening from a coma. I couldn't feel my legs.
My body seemed to work on autopilot, as I walked towards Stephen's room. Mr. and Mrs. Brahe were waiting for me, with Brittany, outside of his room. Brittany's hands instantly engulfed mine.
"Dr. Lopez, a-are you sure?" Mrs. Brahe choked out. I nodded. Not trusting my voice.
"I-I can't believe this," Mrs. Brahe started to cry. Mr. Brahe wiped escaping tears from his face.
"I want to say thank you to your team, Dr. Lopez. For doing the best you can for my son," He said. You could tell he was trying to stay strong for his already crumbling wife.
"I'm sorry," I said, finding my voice, "I wish I could've done more." Mrs. Brahe, still in her crumbling state, moved towards me and pulled me into a hug.
"Sweetie, we saw and heard how hard you fought to keep treating him," Mrs. Brahe started, "You did your best."
Few days later.
Stephen's funeral is next week and the Brahe's are hoping that the entire medical team will attend. Sue has called to check in on me, making sure I don't go all crazy on anyone. It was my choice to stay home for a few days until I feel better to walk into the hospital again.
"Do you think that will help? Sue asked. I shrugged before answering.
"I don't know. I need to feel grounded right now and the hospital...I-I can't be there at the moment," I said. Sue just hummed.
"I agree. I think you need a maximum of 14 days at home to decompress."
"14 days?" I questioned, "That seems long. It's already been 3 days."
"Nope 14 days. I think that is the perfect amount of time to step back and just … breathe."
"I-"
"When is the funeral?" Sue said.
"Next week. Friday morning," I answered.
"Why not stay home till then?"
"Because I have to show everyone that not every death I have on my watch will make me take mini-vacations. I'm going back to work Monday."
"Everyone or your father?"
"E-Everyone," I said, my voice wavering, "I gotta go, Sue, Brittany is coming over for dinner."
"Ooh Brittany, how's that going?" She asked.
"Maybe next session we can talk about her," I said, "Bye."
"I'll hold you to it, Major," She said before hanging up. I threw my phone across my bed. The bed I haven't left in a few days. I called my dad and told him I was sick. I know he could tell I was lying. The TV was just playing static in the living room, and all the curtains were drawn closed. I knew I didn't have to leave my bed to let Brittany in. I know that Kurt, secretly, cut a copy of the spare key I had given him and gave one to all my close friends. Which is just my brothers, Mercedes, and Brittany. I heard the door creak open. Footsteps walking closer and closer to my door. There was a soft knock.
"San, you awake?" Brittany's voice rang out. I grunted in response.
"Dr. Santana Lopez has reverted to a neanderthal, great!" Brittany exclaimed, sarcastically.
"You're so funny," I said from under the covers. Brittany slipped into my bed and cuddled up against me.
"How are you doing," She said, positioning herself to be the little spoon. I gave her a quick kiss on her shoulder.
"I'm processing," I started, "I thought I would be worse, y'know. Catatonic states and freaking out but right now I don't know how I feel."
"They called again. Mr. and Mrs. Brahe," Brittany clarified, "Asking for you and wondering if you're going to be attending the funeral."
"I don't know."
Brittany turned over to look at me.
"Everyone that was working on Stephen's case will be there." I sighed.
"I know that. I just…I just don't want to see him like that."
"The Brahe's also wanted to know if you'll say a few words at the funeral as well."
"Fuck Brittany, I don't know," I exasperated. I pulled away from her and turned my back to her.
"No one is going to force you to do anything," Brittany said, sitting up. I didn't say anything.
"Okay," She started, "I'm going to make some lunch for us." I stayed quiet. Brittany didn't move for the next minute or so. I could feel her eyes burning holes into my back. Eventually, she leaned over to me and kissed me on my shoulder before leaving the room.