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The following chapter contains references Out of Sight, Out of Mind.

The Post-Op was full, but not with patients as usual. All the medical staff has assembled to watch the removing of Hawkeye's bandages. The doctor arrived quite early in the day, so Claudia and Hawkeye did not even had the chance to eat beforehand. During their journey to Post-Op Claudia could feel Hawkeye shivering. It was pretty cold, but it was doubtful that was the reason. She squeezed his hand tighter and continued to lead the way. She knew he hardly slept at all, she heard him tossing and turning throughout the whole night and tried to soothe him multiple times. Now the moment of truth arrived.

Hawkeye was sitting on a hospital bed and the eye doctor opposite on another one. The other doctors of 4077 as well as Margaret, two of her nurses and Klinger and Radar stood around watching the examination. Claudia was sitting at the desk, little further away than the crowd, her eyes fixated on Hawkeye as the bandage was removed. He was wearing green trousers and warm brown sweatshirt, his hands grabbing his knees so hard, his knuckles turned white. Then he moved his hands a little to grant the doctor better access to his face and Claudia saw his head without any bandages. Two pieces of gauze still covered his eyes, but she could already see the little gashes around them. The whole area around his eyes was reddened by the recent trauma and would probably stay oversensitive for quite some time.

"Now, Hawkeye, shade your eyes." The doctor said and Hawkeye's shaking hand shot upwards to do just that. You were able to the worry written all over his face, his movement careful and slow. Without the gauze, there were more wounds that became apparent. Claudia realized her heartbeat quickened considerably.

"Now open them slowly."

Hawkeye's hand moved further and further from his face as he opened his eyes with difficulty. Claudia held her breath. For what seemed like forever Hawkeye did not say anything. But when Claudia heard the laughs she knew the answer. Hands were shaken and congratulations given as Hawkeye was blinking furiously to accommodate his eyes. Then the results of yesterday's match were announced on the PA and Major Burns was suddenly besieged by an angry mob. But Hawkeye didn´t pay attention to that for much longer. His eyes rested on the figure at the other side of Post-Op. Claudia was smiling at him. He thought he would never see that.

After thanking the doctor, he turned around to where Claudia sat, but she was nowhere to be found. He walked over to the window to see where she was going and saw her walking across the compound.

"That compound is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." He said to BJ, knowing well he would not know the whole meaning of that sentence.

"Congratulations, Hawkeye. You're a lucky guy."

"Yeah. I got lucky twice. First I got the chance to see without my eyes and then I got them back." Hawkeye smiled to himself. He did get lucky twice recently. For a moment he looked at people chasing Frank and then looked at Claudia who was now entering her tent. He wondered why she disappeared so quickly. He wanted to run to her, but something was stopping him. He loved spending time with her, now that was without question. He was thinking about her during his every waking moment. But he always felt like she was holding back and was a bit confused by that. Well, not always. They were incredibly close while his eyes were out of commission. She gave him the much needed support and comfort, even opened up a little and let him inside her protective shield. Yet right after he was alright again, she fled to her tent. He wondered what showed in her eyes when he wasn't able to see.

Hawkeye waited about half an hour before facing Claudia. There was a long line of people who wanted to shake his hand and share a drink, so he was busy, but after a while he sneaked out of the celebration in his tent. He just couldn't wait any longer. He was drawn to Claudia like to no other woman before. It was like she was a drug and he just couldn't get enough.

He knew she would be expecting him. The glances between them immediately after his eyes were unwrapped were no mistake. They had a connection and there was no denying that. However, Claudia thought something still stood between them and Hawkeye set his mind firmly on proving her wrong. They were too good together to waste the chance.

He knocked lightly on her door and invited himself right in. She sat on her cot and raised her head when he entered. Her eyes got impossibly big when she watched him approach her.

"I finally get to see you and you run for the hills? What's going on with you?" She stood up before he got to her bed, rushing away into another corner of her tent. It wasn't long before he was met with the sight of her back.

"I didn't think I was needed. You seemed to have more than enough doctors with you then. And admirers as well for that matter." Her voice was quiet, but rough, scaring him a little.

"What that has to do with anything? I want you." He laid his hands lightly on her shoulders, hoping the touch would make her turn around. And it did. "Let's go on a date."

"Hawkeye…" There was something in her eyes he couldn't identify. It wasn't regret, but close and it made his heart stop. "Do not pretend to feel something you don't. Not on my behalf."

"Pretend? I am not pretending anything. I might not know exactly what I am feeling, but I do know I want to be with you. Why is it so hard for you to believe that?" He could see her close up before his eyes. Her face became like a mask and he couldn't read it anymore. He was becoming more and more confused with every second.

"Hawkeye. Yes, we are close. It would be foolish to deny it. But it is more foolish to expect more."

"We have gotten much more than close recently. If you are you having second thoughts, then admit it! But stop with this kind of behavior!"

"Now it's my behavior you don't like? You are free to leave, you know?!"

"I will and gladly!"

He regretted leaving Claudia's tent immediately after he slammed the door. Instead of clearing things up, he effectively destroyed any chance of them getting together and he still wasn't entirely sure how he did it. He didn't understand her hesitation about them two.

He didn't understand it any more even after thinking about it for four more hours. Then it was time to play cards with the gang which distracted him a little from thinking about Claudia. But still he noticed the light in Claudia's tent went out around midnight and wished he was with her. He couldn't believe it was only a few days ago he held her in his arms, feeling like they would last forever. Now he was feeling stupid for never having sought a confirmation about her feelings when they were together. It would have given him something to hold on to. And it would have made harder for her to ignore their connection whatever her reasons may be.

It was hard for Claudia to concentrate on paperwork. The visit from Hawkeye shook her to her core. If she was being honest, she did not consider the consequences of getting so close to him. The dire circumstances overruled her caution for once.

What also did not help her concentration were the sensations her brain was projecting into her mind. She could literally feel the taste of Hawkeye's lips in her memories, how it felt to hold him in her arms while running her hand in his hair. Whispering it will be alright. Truth be told, she thought it wouldn't be. Life taught her its unfairness early on and she got even more pessimistic during her time in 4077th. So she took care of Hawkeye as best as she could and did not filter her feelings for him properly.

She couldn't help herself. He was so vulnerable, it was breaking her heart. Normally she would make some half-funny, half-lewd joke about the way he was feeling around with his hands when moving around a tent. But lot of the time she just concentrated on suppressing tears more than anything else.

Claudia thought back to what Hawkeye said to her. He was hurt by her rejection. It was obvious by the way he reacted, but she could also see it in his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes that finally stared at her. One of the reasons she disappeared so quickly was the fact she needed time to process everything that happened between her and Hawkeye. While he was blind, there was no time for that. She just took care of him then.

Now she was beating herself up over how she treated him afterwards. She was very aware of how annoying she was acting. But she was angrier at herself for taking advantage of him when he was unguarded and frightened. It just didn't feel right. Still, she shouldn't stay awake the whole night, she has morning shift in Post-Op.