Chapter Twenty-Two
"That'll be one-eighty, love."
The Doctor pulled out a handful of coins and searched through the mess of human and alien money before he found two one pound coins and dropped them into the woman's outstretched hand. He tapped the top of the charity box, telling her to drop the change in there, before picking up Zoe's black coffee and the doughnut he thought she might like. They had already had breakfast – toast with some peanut butter and a quick stop at Costa for more coffee – but he knew that she was never likely to refuse extra food, particularly when she was trying to keep herself awake. He stepped out of the busy café and greeted Tim Parsons in passing, not stopping to chat. Pausing at the traffic lights, waiting for the little green man to tell him it was safe to cross, he searched the opposite side of the road for Zoe.
He found her sat on a low wall, legs folded beneath her, yawning as she entertained herself with her phone. It was rare that he got to observe her simply existing in the universe but there were moments when he saw her in a crowd or browsing the shelves of the library; it struck him that she had her own life and thoughts and dreams that he wasn't always privy to. He watched her tug the collar of her coat higher up her neck, protecting her bare skin from the cold, and he found himself dizzy with amazement that she was choosing to share her life with him. He wondered if she ever looked at him and felt the same: of all the people in all the universe, they had found each other. Neither of them believed in fate but the Doctor toyed with the idea that something had brought them together, foolish though the notion ultimately was. But he liked it – liked the thought that they were so important together that the universe conspired to make it happen.
The green man made his appearance, and he pushed the thought from his mind as he crossed the road, knowing that if he told her she would laugh and call him an idiot in a way that made him feel loved rather than stupid.
"Here," he said, hand cupped over the lid as he held it out to her. "It's not as strong as you like it but I think they thought I was having them on when I placed the order, something about it being medically inadvisable."
"Ha, ha, ha," she mocked, her hair pulled back from her face, phone slipping away. She took the styrofoam cup from him, cracking the plastic lid back to blow the heat away before taking a sip. Her nose wrinkled, unimpressed with the weak taste, but her eyes were soft. "It's great, thank you."
"Got you this as well," he said, holding out the doughnut concealed in a napkin, enjoying the way her eyes lit up. "Jam, of course."
"There's a time and a place for custard, but this is not it," she said. "Thanks very much."
Not one to let food sit around uneaten for long, she bit into it and smiled around her sugary mouthful, quickly sweeping the napkin in to save her T-shirt from the dribble of jam that squirted out the other end. An expert on Zoe's face, the Doctor saw the carefully smoothed concealer beneath her eyes to hide the marks of a restless night from the world at large, dabs of brightening lotion around her eyes and mouth helping to make her look like she normally did. It was unlikely anyone else was going to notice – perhaps Jack if he was paying attention – but she kept trying to hide a yawn every ten minutes or so, operating on over twenty-four hours without sleep as she was, and someone was sure to comment if she didn't find some more energy.
While long days weren't unusual for her, it was never normally his fault. He had kept her awake the night before with his tossing and turning, tangling the covers of her childhood bed around his legs, keeping her cold and uncomfortable as his subconscious plagued him with images of his friends – withered and decayed, old and dying. They had turned their backs on him, crumbling to dust when he grabbed them, shouting their names, before waking up in a cold sweat to find Zoe leaning over him, worried but present. He gave up on sleep around four in the morning, preparing to leave her in bed alone as he walked the streets to shake his troubled state from his shoulders but she went with him, dressed in some of her mother's clothes, hand tucked into his, stopping at the McDonald's she used to work at for coffee and an early morning snack.
Breakfast, he corrected.
Snack, she said around a mouthful of sausage McMuffin.
Propping himself against the wall next to her, she automatically rested her temple against his arm, happy to sit and chew in silence as they waited for the others to join them. None of them had come back to the flat or Mickey's, which led the Doctor to believe they had stayed at Sarah Jane's house; he didn't know how he felt about that but there were worse things in the world than all of his friends getting on. Perhaps, he considered with hope that was tinged by only the slightest shiver of panic, if it worked well, he might see about introducing them to Ace. He would love to see Ace again as they had left everything on a positive note when he brought her back to Earth after her time studying at the Academy on Gallifrey, the stirrings of war pushing him to visit her and heavily encourage her to return home. He knew that she was running a charity now – A Charitable Earth – and the thought of swinging by to say hello wasn't as terrifying as it had been twenty-four hours earlier.
He still felt disoriented but he felt more grounded than he had. With dawn, the desire to hide himself in Zoe's arms, face pressed into her chest to keep the world at bay, had lessened. Their agreement the night before, hammered out during his spasms of fear and pre-emptive grief, sat awkwardly on his shoulders. No matter what hope was slipping through him the more he analysed the results of her physical, comparing her brain scan from now to her brain scan from before, struggling to make sense of what was before him, he knew he was going to have to say goodbye to her one day and the thought of never seeing her again made him want to curl into a ball and hide. It was impossible for him to imagine his day-to-day life without her; hundreds of years he had lived before meeting her but she had undone in him a few short years, like the magic she always hoped advanced science was.
"You'd have been burned as a witch," the Doctor said aloud, and she stopped absently humming Bach, a piece she was trying to get right on the piano.
"Beg pardon?"
"Although most executed of witchcraft weren't actually burned, that's a historical inaccuracy," he told her. "It was either a drowning or a hanging that you'd be look forward to. The idea of witch burning actually came from Queen Mary's reign when she burnt protestants at the stake."
"That's fascinatingly ghoulish," Zoe said, mouth twitching. "But is there a reason you're imagining me being executed for witchcraft?"
"I've been thinking about how fundamental you are to me," he said, using his thumb to wipe away the small remnants of sugar on her lips, causing a group of passing students to giggle, shooting them embarrassed, curious looks. "How you're in every part of my life, and I thought that some might take it for magic."
The expression on her face made him grateful that they were alone as it was private and deeply intimate: a tender, romantic side that only he got to see.
"You've caught me," she said, emotion turning her voice a little husky. "I've been trying to hide it but you're just too quick for me. I'm really a witch. I left the Wizarding World and hid myself in the Muggle one. Mum and Rose? They're under spells to make them think I'm their daughter and sister. Tell no one."
His mouth curved. "And you've never taken me to visit Hogwarts? Shame on you."
She grinned. "Didn't you tell me a while back that there's a Harry Potter world in America?"
"Opening in about four years, more or less," he nodded. "If only we had a time machine."
"Think of all the things we could do," she teased, leaning into him, tucking her hand into his and turning her mouth into his arm, breath warm through his coat. "So, me being a witch, is this a good thing or a bad thing?"
"A very, very good thing," he assured her, unable to keep his fingers off her, brushing stray hairs back from her face. "I wouldn't be without you."
Her expression flickered, a small glimpse at the chasm of future pain waiting for her, and it knocked the breath from him. There wasn't a chance for him to say anything because it was swept away by a lovely smile and a squeeze of his hand.
"I'm a little fond of you too, you know," Zoe said.
"Just a little?"
She showed him a small distance between her thumb and forefinger. "About this much."
"Is that to scale?" He played with her fingers, stretching the space wider. "Or is it on a ratio?"
"A ratio, maybe." He shifted a little closer to her and her eyes slipped away from him, scanning the area, her knee pressing into his thigh. When she returned her gaze to him, she looked delighted and shy, an expression he adored on her. "Stop it."
"Stop what?" He asked, innocently, her hand cradled against his chest, their other joined hands swinging at their sides. "We're just talking."
"You're going to kiss me," she accused.
"You like it when I kiss you."
"I'm something of a fan, yes," Zoe admitted, unable to stop smiling, which did nothing to discourage him. He leaned in closer, and she turned her head, a blush crawling into her cheeks. Sometimes she was so delightfully proper that it made him want to take her apart piece by piece just for the fun of it. "Doctor, we're in public, and this isn't France."
He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "Lots of public displays of affection in France, was there?"
"Well, no," she said. "Though there were the occasional parties that I went to once or twice, purely from an anthropological point of view." His eyebrows climbed his forehead, surprise passing through him, briefly forgetting his desire to kiss the sugar from her mouth. "Louis invited me and it seemed rude to say no to the king when I was living on his money and generally making a nuisance of myself. I didn't know what they were at the time."
"Zoe Tyler." Her name fell from his mouth in a rumble of delighted amusement. "You went to an orgy."
"For science!"
He shook his head with a deep laugh. "Don't give me that. Your scientific credentials started four years ago, not before." She scowled. "You had an orgy at Versailles like a proper little Frenchwoman."
"I didn't have an orgy," she insisted, half a heartbeat away from kicking him in the shin. "I went with Reinette – and, yes, in hindsight, she did politely try to tell me what was going on but I wasn't listening and my French then wasn't that great – and it looked normal, although there were a few more soft furnishings than you'd expect –" he laughed, loudly. Her nostrils flared and eyes narrowed but she pressed on. "I headed off to get some wine and food and there I am chatting to Madame du Barry – except she was only Jeanne Bécu at the time – and next thing I know I've got her hand on my breast and people are becoming...déshabillé."
The Doctor pressed his fist to his mouth, shaking with laughter. "Zoe...you complete idiot."
"I was seventeen!" He tipped his head back and laughed. She freed her hand and gave him a slap on the stomach. "Stop it, I was a child!"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologised, knuckles brushing over her shoulder even as the mirth stayed painted on his face. "But I've got this image of the look of polite horror on your face when you realise what's going on. How did you get out of there?"
"Reinette, of course," Zoe said. "She swept in, knocked Jeanne's hand from me and said that she was feeling overly heated, whatever the hell that was supposed to mean. She didn't laugh at me, unlike you." He grinned. "Lessons were learnt that day."
"Wait," he said, her earlier words striking him. "You said once or twice. You went to another one despite knowing what it was?"
Heat climbed into her skin, embarrassment complete. "I was curious."
"Zo," he laughed. "That's brilliant."
"Who among us hasn't been to an orgy?"
"Now that's a question," Jack said from the side, startling them with his approach. "What's this about orgies now?"
Despite what the Doctor and Zoe assumed was a long night of drinking, Jack looked as fresh and put together as he always did. He wore the same clothes from the day before but unlike Mickey, who was squinting against the thin grey sunlight that broke through the cloud cover, he wasn't creased and dishevelled. Hair neat and wearing his usual light touch of mascara, hands tucked in the pockets of his coat, he smiled at them; Mickey, on the other hand, sank against the wall that Zoe was sat on, head dropping between his knees, fingers looped over the back of his head.
"Never you mind," she said, embarrassed, hand rubbing Mickey's back. "Good night?"
"A great one," Jack said cheerfully, white teeth flashing through his smile as he looked at the Doctor. "Sarah Jane's a laugh, I can see why you're friends with her."
"Please, lower your voice," Mickey begged. "Some of us aren't augmented."
The Doctor sighed, searching his pockets for the hangover pills he had taken to keeping on his person – having the friends that he did, they were useful more often than they weren't, unable to recall if the others he travelled with drank as much as they did. Popping the pill from the blister pack, he handed it to Mickey. "I believe I asked you not to be hungover. Have you even slept?"
"A couple of hours," Jack replied, rocking back on his heels. Mickey shoved the pill between dry lips and swallowed. "What did you two get up to last night?"
"Just went back to the flat and slept," Zoe lied. "Harriet sends her love."
"How is she?"
"Good, busy, but good," she replied. "She's hoping that we're not going to make a huge to-do about what we need to do here. She said they've only just finished cleaning up from Christmas."
"No promises about the mess," the Doctor said, eyeing Rose, Sarah Jane, and Jackie as they approached. "You three look awful."
"You still haven't learnt human manners, I see," Sarah Jane said, eyes peering at him from over the top of her sunglasses. "I thought for sure someone would've punched you for it by now."
"Someone did, her name was Peri." She coughed to hide her amusement, and he held out a tablet. "Here, one for each of you. For the hangovers I told you not to get."
"Oh, I've missed this," Sarah Jane said, swallowing the tablet, blinking as her hangover started to ebb. "The medical care was always next to none."
"Right?" Rose agreed, rubbing her eyes. "That's better. Mornin'."
"Hello," the Doctor said, smiling hesitantly at her. The hesitance faded when she smiled back, unreserved in her affections, the sharp words from last night turning to dust between them. "Now that you're all here and more or less sober, we should get started. Everyone feeling up to it?"
"I'm goin' to stay out here," Jackie said, pale, less make up on than usual – he would never tell her but he thought she looked quite pretty as she was, never really understanding the need of humans to decorate their faces. "Last time I went with you lot on one of these things, you got yourself stabbed in the chest an' killed."
"Unlikely to happen again but suit yourself," he said. "Keep an eye on the front. Give us a call if anything comes in or out that shouldn't."
"Here." Sarah Jane handed her the keys to her car. "So you don't have to freeze."
"Ta, love."
After a moment of awkward manoeuvring, the presence of Mickey and Sarah Jane briefly confusing their normal easy pace, the group split up. The Doctor took Mickey and Jack with him to speak with Finch, having been shouted down when he said that he was going alone; he wasn't sure what role Mickey and Jack were going to play should Finch prove to be as deadly as the Krillitanes usually were but he appreciated the company. His eyes followed Zoe walking off with Rose and Sarah Jane, sweeping through the empty corridors of the school, the children safely tucked away in the tutor groups for registration to be taken, before he turned his attention back to Mickey and Jack who were standing much closer together than normal. He opened his mouth to ask them about it but his teeth clicked together, changing his mind at the last minute, deciding it was none of his business.
"What are we walking into?" Jack asked, falling into step with him, casual but focused.
"I don't know," he said. "It's been centuries since I last encountered the Krillitane but they're not friendly, I can tell you that much. I'm hoping to resolve this with communication but you know how it goes."
"I do," Jack nodded. "Understood."
Mickey looked between them. "What are we goin' to do then?"
"What we always do," the Doctor said, "keep this world and its people safe."
"Right," he said, mouth dry. "That sounds...easy."
"You'll get used to it," the Doctor assured him, turning down a hallway and found a child walking slowly through the halls, clearly idling. "Poppy, you should be in your tutor room now."
"Sorry, Mr Smith," Poppy said, her plaited hair resting in ribbons against her chest, a cheeky grin creeping onto her face. "Ladies problems, y'know?"
"Get on with you," he said, earning a frown at his lack of reaction. "And don't lollygag."
"But –"
"No lollygagging." She sighed and dragged her feet against the floor but she hastened away. "Students, they're the same everywhere."
"If you're about to tell us that you were the most studious in your class, I'm about to call you a liar," Jack said pointedly, and the Doctor grinned. "Thought so."
It took a few minutes to actually find Finch. Not in his office, they had to stop and ask at reception to discover that he was in the sports wing, presumably having been sniffing around the TARDIS to try and gain access. The Doctor reached out and brushed up against the section of his mind that was devoted entirely to his ship and received soft waves of reassurance in return along with a hint of boredom at having spent the night in a closet. His mouth twitched with amusement, a promise of excitement drifting back to her, before he entered the swimming pool where the smell of chlorine sank into his nose and made Jack sneeze.
Mr Finch stood with his back against the wall, hands behind him, a dark glower on his face, clearly waiting for him. In his two days of teaching at Deffry Vale, the Doctor had only seen him from a distance and Zoe hadn't seen him at all; he was a presence in the school but only in the way that something shadowy and insidious was a presence. His entire look appeared as though it was carefully copied from a magazine, right down to the chequered pink and red handkerchief correctly positioned in his pocket. Flanked on either side by Mickey and Jack, the Doctor walked further into the room, slipping his hands into his pockets as their eyes met across the pool.
His voice echoed around the room when he spoke. "Who are you?"
"My name is Brother Lassa," Finch said. "And you?"
"The Doctor," he replied, gesturing to his friends. "My friends, Jack and Mickey." Finch's eyes swept over them, dismissing them almost instantly. "Tell me, since when do Krillitanes have wings?"
He pushed away from the wall and strolled down the side of the pool as though the conversation was nothing more than a pleasant chat between friends. The Doctor kept the distance between them, matching his movements on the other side, watching the way he moved – it looked as though he had carefully studied human movement. It was all correct but a little too perfect, too polished, none of the oddities that humans collected like the way Rose took steps that were too long to avoid cracks in the ground, the small shuffle Zoe did when she fell out of step and needed to correct herself, and the careful, measured strides of Jack that he forgot when he was distracted.
"It's been our form for nearly ten generations now," Finch informed him, a small smile playing on his lips. "My ancestors invaded Bessan. The people there had some rather lovely wings. They made nearly a million widows in one day, just imagine."
The reverential tone for slaughter would have made the Doctor furious when he was younger; now, it simply solidified into a cold, burning anger that he kept tightly under control.
"I've been to Bessan," he said, remembering coral pink skies and Susan's thrilled excitement. "They're peaceful people."
"They were."
The muscle in his jaw flickered. "But you're human shaped now."
"A personal favourite." Finch's hands slid down the front of his body before falling to his side. "That's all."
"And the others?"
"My brothers remain in bat form," he said. "What you see is a simple morphic illusion – scratch the surface and the true Krillitane lies beneath." Behind him, the Doctor felt Mickey shudder at the image. "And what of the Time Lords? I always thought of you as such a pompous race – ancient, dusty senators, so frightened of change and chaos." The Doctor almost snorted. If only we'd remained so drifted through his mind. "They're all but extinct now, of course. Only you. The last."
He ignored the way the words hurt, sharp pain blooming between his hearts at the reminder. He and Finch finally met at the side of the pool, Mickey and Jack close enough behind that if anything went wrong, they were right there.
"This plan of yours," he said, "what is it?"
The attention to detail on Finch's face was remarkable: folds of skin creased over the corners of his eyes, small blemishes scattered like dust over the surface, warmth exuding from him even though the Krillitanes – and the Bessan – were reptilian species. Faint surprise and deepening amusement flickered to life in his dark eyes, and the Doctor's stomach clenched in warning.
"You don't know."
"That's why I'm asking."
"Show me how clever you are," he baited.
The Doctor turned dark, heavy eyes onto Finch. "If I don't like it, then it will stop."
"Fascinating," he breathed. "Your people were peaceful to the point of indolence, but you seem to be something new." The Doctor held his gaze, unblinking. "Would you declare war on us, Doctor?"
The thought of another war made him want to retreat to the TARDIS and lie in Zoe's garden, breathing in the scent of her newly planted flowers and the citrus trees that were beginning to blossom under her attentive care. He wasn't the type to live his life quietly but, occasionally, the thought of one day having a quiet retirement with Zoe, away from the heavy weight of decisions that needed to be made and the lives of the innocents that always ended up in his hands, was a tempting one. He knew himself well enough to know that even if he did settle down, it wouldn't be forever; it wasn't who he was, and that was why he didn't back down from Finch.
"You get one warning," he said, quietly. "That was it."
"But we're not even enemies," Finch said with the air of someone trying to figure out a puzzle. "Soon, Doctor, you will embrace us. The next time we meet, you will join me, that I promise you."
Finch walked past him, the sleeve of his suit jacket brushing lightly against the Doctor's coat, a faint hint of cologne remaining behind. Jack made a slight movement as though to restrain Finch but the Doctor shook his head and he fell back, hands back in his pockets. The doors swung shut behind him and the Doctor let the tension fall from his shoulders, rubbing his hand across his jaw, another reminder that he needed to shave, the stubble making him itch.
Mickey looked at him. "You all right, boss?"
"Fine," he lied. "But that didn't answer any of my questions about what they're doing. He seems to be very confident that I'm going to like what he's doing."
"Don't the bad guys always think they're right?" Mickey asked.
"Well, yeah, I suppose they do."
"What now?" Jack asked. "You want me to follow him?"
"No," he said. "I want us all together. Let's go meet up with the girls and hope they've had more luck with the computers."
Silence filled the computer room, broken only by the rapid clicking sounds of Zoe typing on a keyboard. Sarah Jane ran her finger over the back of a chair as she and Rose waited for her to do what she needed to do. It was hard not to feel surplus to requirements in the face of Zoe's competence but Rose didn't appear to find anything unusual with having to wait so Sarah Jane drifted around the room, searching for anything obviously abnormal, ducking her head beneath the desks to look at the hard drives but there was nothing that screamed alien to her. It was well hidden, whatever it was, and she straightened with a soft sigh, unwilling to admit that she was more than a little bored; she had forgotten these moments – the quiet moments before the storm where everything was slowly slotting into place and the pieces were being positioned. In her memories, all she remembered was the burst of activity and the pulse of adrenaline when they had to run for their lives or work to avert a disaster.
"You're good with computers," Sarah Jane said, deciding to stop ambling and to fill the silence with more than the hum of the computers and the click-clack of the keyboard. "Did you know this before meeting the Doctor?"
"Nope," Zoe said, smiling at her. "I was only seventeen when I met the Doctor, still studying for my A Levels. I learnt about computers at university – my degree's partially in computer science – but I've found it a useful skill for life with the Doctor."
She pulled out the chair at the desk and sat down, back to the computer so she was able to keep an eye on the door along. "Your mother said you recently graduated. Congratulations."
"Thanks." Zoe glanced at her, eyes pulling from the computer screen, her fingers typing quickly. "I'm sorry we didn't get a chance to talk properly last night, I'd have sold Rose to have drinks with you."
"Hey," Rose protested. "I'm worth more than a few drinks."
"At least dinner," she agreed, Sarah Jane's eyes creasing in amusement at their easy back and forth. "I'm sorry I wasn't able to make it but any more wine in me would have been unpleasant for everyone."
"That's all right," Sarah Jane said. "Last night was...unexpected."
"I bet." Her eyes shifted back to the screen, offering her privacy if she wanted it. "How are you doing with all of this? I can't imagine it's easy seeing the Doctor again after all this time."
A thick knot of emotion in her throat made it difficult to swallow, and Sarah Jane felt a fine tremor run through her hands that she curled into loose fists on her thighs. It isn't, it's awful, it's nothing like I expected but it's everything like I dreaded, she thought desperately, the reality of seeing the Doctor again falling far short of her hopes and dreams. Thirty years had twisted her expectations, inflating them and colouring them with things that she realised were never going to happen, and the shock of finding him again, living the life they had lived but with new and younger people, it was hard. Much harder than she expected it would be. Not for a moment had she thought she was the last person to travel with him, but she also hadn't thought he would simply leave her behind as he had.
"It has been difficult," she heard herself say, the words falling from her mouth without permission. "I don't know if it's because I wasn't expecting to see him again or if it's everything, but, yes, it's been hard. Good but hard."
"I'm sorry this was sprung on you," Zoe said, kindly. "If it was me..." she sighed, fingers pausing on the keyboard. "I don't know, I might've reacted a little more violently than you did."
"She's not kiddin'," Rose said. "First time she met the Doctor, she threatened to run him over with a car."
"Only after I pushed him off the top of our building, remember?" Rose snorted, and Zoe looked back to Sarah Jane. "He really has missed you though. He doesn't say it because that would make it real, but it's obvious he has. You know what the Doctor's like, he keeps his hurts to himself most of the time, pretending he's not feeling it, but he has missed you. He's just –"
"A coward?"
"I was going to say afraid," she said, swallowing the low flash of anger that accompanied Sarah Jane's choice of noun. The Doctor was the first to admit he was a coward but she didn't like hearing other people call him one. "Afraid of opening himself up to hurt. Our limited lifespan bothers him more than he lets on."
Although her tone was mild, Sarah Jane caught the rebuke buried in her words and regret heated her skin.
"I'm sorry, that was badly done of me." She rubbed her fingers against her thigh. "Last night I was glad when he didn't come for drinks – I wasn't sure I'd be able to hold it together – but now I'm sorry he didn't come. I wouldn't mind sitting down and just talking with him. I want to hear about what he's been doing, and I want to tell him what I've been doing as well."
"Oh, he knows about you," Zoe grinned. "He's got a whole binder full of your articles, and all your books."
"Books?" She asked, blankly. "Plural?"
Panic shot through her. "Er – spoilers?"
"I write another book?"
"Can you forget I said that, please?" Zoe asked, hopefully. "I shouldn't have told you that, thought you'd already – never mind. Erase it from your memory. Books, what books?"
Rose coughed. "Smooth."
Unable to do anything else but laugh, she did just that. "Time travel."
"Time travel," Zoe agreed. "And as for catching up with the Doctor, just invite him out for coffee or something. He'll say yes."
"Coffee with the Doctor," Sarah Jane said, bewilderment pulling at her mouth. "All those things we did together, I don't think we ever did anything as mundane as just going out for a coffee. What would that even look like?"
"Just make sure he has plenty of milk," Rose suggested, looking over her shoulder. "If he has an espresso then he'll be bouncin' off the walls for hours an' it's exhaustin'. He took a sip of Zoe's coffee by mistake once, took him ten minutes to calm down."
"You can find out if you ask him," Zoe said. "He's not the same person you knew back then because a lot of stuff has happened between then and now, but he's still the Doctor and I know he'd love to speak with you properly." Shyness crept over her that she forced away, refusing to be embarrassed by her admiration. "And, on a personal note, I'd love to speak with you as well, get to know you properly. I wasn't exaggerating last night when I said you were a personal hero of mine. I know people say you should never meet them but I'd like to take the chance."
A blush swept into Sarah Jane's cheeks. "That's very flattering, though I feel like I know you already. Your friends speak highly of you."
"Well, Jack has to, I saved his life," she said. "And the others are my family, I think it's the law or something to be nice about me."
"I can be horrible if you want," Rose offered, laughing when Zoe raised a solitary middle finger at her.
Sarah Jane watched them, the old desire to have a sister filling her again, before she cleared her throat and looked at the screen. "What is it that you're actually doing?"
"Hacking, mainly," she said. "The Doctor and I had a poke around here the other day during our break and found that the system has a deadlock seal on it, so the only way to get inside is to break through the layers of encryption, which is fine except this one is more complex than anything I've ever seen before." Her nose scrunched in annoyance. "Even the bloody Dalek on Skaro wasn't as well protected as this."
"I'm sorry, what?" She asked, startled. "You were on Skaro?"
"For a few traumatic hours, yes," Zoe said with a nod. "Had to go there to get something to help me save the Doctor and Jack. I don't know what it was like when you were there but my visit to the planet makes me give it a low score on Trip Advisor – do not recommend, will probably get radiation poisoning."
Rose rolled her eyes. "Don't mind her. The amount of time she spends around the Doctor, she ends up soundin' like him sometimes."
"Worse people to sound like," Zoe said.
"Can you break it?" Sarah Jane asked. "The security system, that is."
"I'm trying," she said with a small frown before looking up at her, apologetic. "Although I'm not sure I'll be good for conversation from this point on, I've hit a few snags."
Sarah Jane nodded. "I'll just watch."
She flashed her a grateful look and got back to work. There was a security system protecting the network, hidden it beneath the school's normal network with homework assignments, teacher reports, internal emails, and scheduling; it was like a palimpsest and anyone who didn't have a deep understanding of computers would have missed it. With fourteen separate layers of encryption before she was even able to scratch the surface, it was extremely complicated. Wishing she had another cup of coffee to hand, she got to work on peeling the first layer of encryption away from the surface, tuning out the conversation between Rose and Sarah Jane.
"What are you goin' to do after this?" Rose asked.
"Back to my normal life, I suppose," Sarah Jane said, and the thought of what normal life meant – work, bills, dinner every third Thursday with her friends – didn't fill her with as much dread and resentment as it used to.
"What about comin' with us," she suggested, picking at her thumb nervously. "Y'know, in the TARDIS. I'm pretty sure Mickey's comin' when we leave an' you know there's loads of room. It'll be fun."
Warmth bloomed through Sarah Jane at the invitation, feeling that it meant more coming from Rose than it did had it come from the Doctor.
"It's tempting," she admitted. "Very tempting, but I'm not a young woman any more."
"The Doctor's not exactly young," Rose pointed out. "An' it'd be nice to have another woman, 'specially if Mickey's comin' along. We can't be outnumbered."
She laughed. "You seem to hold you're own just fine."
"I've had trainin'," Rose said, an eager expression on her face. "C'mon, come with us."
Sarah Jane was saved from answering by the Doctor stepping through the door, his hurry making it feel as though he was carried in on the wind, Mickey and Jack right behind him. His eyes swept the room, assessing and cautious, brushing over Rose, lips curving up slightly at the sight of Sarah Jane, before he settled on Zoe who hadn't turned at the sound of entrance. Easing around the tables, he stood behind her as she peeled away the fifth layer of encryption, falling into the sixth, fingers beginning to get stiff.
"How's it going?"
"Slowly and frustratingly," she said. "Whatever's behind this firewall better be worth the effort. I'm about halfway through though. How did it go with our esteemed headmaster? Are we going to join hands and sing kumbaya?"
"He wasn't amenable to my offer," the Doctor said, lightly.
Sarah Jane stood. "Did you figure out what they're doing here?"
He shook his head. "No, but I think they'll be true to form and this is some form of invasion that won't end well for the human race. But I don't understand why they haven't invaded already. This – none of this – is the Krillitane way."
"Well, I just need a few more minutes and then we can find out," Zoe said, not looking away from the screen. "This is really quite complicated but there is a pattern to it in a way: an ever shifting, hateful pattern but one nonetheless. This system is way beyond anything I've ever seen before and there's that bloody deadlock seal on the hardware. I'm trying to override it from here."
"You've got this," the Doctor said, squeezing her shoulder encouragingly.
Silence fell as Zoe worked, and Rose broke it. "What d'you think to Sarah Jane comin' along with us if she wants?"
He turned his head and stared. "I'm sorry?"
"Sarah Jane," Rose repeated, something pointed and demanding in her expression; she looked the way she did when she was making the argument for Jack to come onboard, fully confident in the righteousness of her position but uncertain whether he would agree. "Wouldn't it be nice if she came with us when we leave?"
"I fully support this idea," Jack said, enthusiastically.
"I mean...well...yes, if that's what she wants – if that's what you want," the Doctor fumbled awkwardly, turning to Sarah Jane. "I'd – I'd like that, if you would. I know that it's been a while but your room's still the same and –"
"Oh, I'm in!" He nearly swore, relief overwhelming him at Zoe's exclamation. "I didn't actually expect that. Those last few layers were like tissue paper – bit shit, really." She smiled around at them. "But I did it. Go, me."
Everyone crowded around her, jostling for space to look at the screen, but before they were able to begin their search the tannoy system sputtered to life; the the voice of one of the school's administrative assistants came from the speakers, sounding in every classroom.
"All pupils to class immediately. All members of staff to congregate in the staff room."
"Stop the kids coming in here," the Doctor said, quickly, and Mickey and Jack hurried to the classroom door, reaching it just in time to slap their hands against it and push it shut as the first students tried to enter.
"No, no. This classroom's out of bounds," Mickey said to the students behind the door. "You've all got to go to the South Hall. Off you go. South Hall!"
Jack leaned his weight against the door. "Is there a South Hall?"
"No idea."
"Zoe, any time now," the Doctor urged.
"Rushing me is only going to help me to make mistakes," she reminded him, hands moving as fast as they could as she ran a search through the system. She chewed her bottom lip, eyes scanning the screen, before she hit three separate keys and then enter – the computer screen filled with alien symbols. "Voilà. Access as promised, but whatever this is, it's being accessed by computers in another room. The changes we're seeing are coming from there. It's not doing it itself, someone's putting this information in."
"But what is it?" Sarah Jane asked, Mickey and Jack making their way back to them, the children diverted to the South Hall, which was actually just a sports hall used for indoor games when the weather was bad and with a floor that made rubber soled shoes squeak. "Do you know?"
"Some sort of code," Zoe shrugged. "I've never seen anything like it before, and I realise I said that just last week, but this – this is all Greek to me. Doctor, Jack? You guys ever see anything like this?"
The Doctor was suddenly leaning over her, his arms bracketing her in place, cheek pressed against her temple where his stubble scratched at her skin. She smelt the faint traces of his cologne that was warmed into his skin from a full day's wear and her blood thickened with a low-level arousal that made her shift in her seat. She wanted to press her nose into the soft flesh of his neck and taste it with her tongue but she remained still, facing forward, afraid to move in case she gave into her temptations.
"No," he breathed, warm breath against her skin. "No, that can't be."
"What?" She asked, twitching her head a little. "What is it? You know I hate it when you do this."
"The Skasis Paradigm," he said, eyes not moving from the screen as he took in the information that sped rapidly across it. "They're trying to crack the Skasis Paradigm."
"What?" She said, sharply, looking back at the computer screen. What had been incomprehensible symbols before now made sense; the symbols were just numbers that were building upon each other, something she had only seen in simulations – hypotheses that were laughed at by any reasonable academic, jokes that students told each other when they bounced theories off each other – as ambitious as the God Maker, they laughed. "But that's – it's a myth, something students make fun of."
"The Skasis what?" Sarah Jane asked.
"The God Maker," the Doctor explained, quickly, straightening up. "The universal theory. Crack that equation and you've got control of the building blocks of the universe: time and space and matter, yours to control."
"What?" Rose frowned. "An' the kids are like a giant computer?"
"The oil." Jack clicked his fingers. "The oil's making them smarter. I bet it's acting as some sort of conductive agent. We used something similar in my time for short term missions when we needed to acquire information and quickly as it improves memory retention, but we stopped using it as it was too damaging to use it too often."
"Kids' brains are malleable and self healing in a way that adults' aren't," the Doctor told him. "Three months exposure shouldn't do them any harm."
"But why use children?" Sarah Jane asked. "Can't they use adults?"
"No, it's got to be children," he said, disgusted. "The God Maker needs imagination to crack it. They're not just using the children's brains to break the code, they're using their souls."
"And so the lesson begins," a new voice said from the doorway. Zoe rose swiftly to her feet and saw Mr Finch standing just inside the classroom. His eyes passed over all of them, lingering briefly on her, recognising her as the substitute teacher, before settling on the Doctor. "Think of it, Doctor, with the Paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands. We can shape the universe and improve it."
"Oh yeah?" He scoffed, disdain dripping from him. "The whole of creation with the face of Mr Finch? Call me old fashioned but I like things as they are."
"You act like such a radical, and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order," Finch said, his soft tones sending waves of discomfort through the group. "Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good."
"What, by someone like you?"
"No, someone like you," he replied, and Zoe sucked in a sharp breath, aware of what such a temptation would be like to the Doctor. "The Paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom. Become a God at my side, and imagine what you could do. Think of the civilisations you could save: Perganon, Assinta...your own people, Doctor, standing tall: the Time Lords reborn."
Anger burnt inside Zoe, wanting to snatch the words out of the air and grind them to dust beneath her heel, stopping the temptation before it had a chance to infect the Doctor. He was vulnerable after a restless night, his emotions still close to the surface, and her fingers twitched at her side, wanting to wrap them around Finch's throat and choke the temptation from him.
"Shut your mouth," she snapped, ice cracking in her voice. "If you knew anything about the Doctor, you'd know he'd never accept this. He's not a god."
Finch's eyes flickered over her, tilting his head with curiosity. "What an odd creature you are, neither this nor entirely that. How curious."
She paused, anger freezing within her. "What does that mean?"
His attention left her but his words twisted inside her, snatching her focus away.
"What do you say, Doctor?" Finch asked. "All those that you've lost, brought back to life with the snap of your fingers. The city of Arcadia tall and magnificent again – the shining seas of Gallifrey with its waters of silver – your home beneath your feet again, no longer needing to sprint through the universe in search of something lost."
"Doctor, don't listen to him," Sarah Jane urged from his side, voice low and serious.
"And you could be with him throughout eternity," he said eyes on Sarah Jane but the Doctor looked to Zoe instead, torn. "Young and fresh: never withering, never ageing, never dying. Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes." His eyes flicked knowingly onto the Doctor. "How lonely you must be, Doctor. Join us and never be lonely again."
Everything the Doctor wanted for him and Zoe – an eternity together where he never had to say goodbye to her, never had to watch her age, secure in the knowledge that if harm befell her then he could fix her. He closed his eyes and imagined them living through the entire lifespan of the universe and beyond, his skin crackled with the want of it.
"We'd never have to say goodbye," he murmured.
"Doctor..." Rose whispered, suddenly afraid, and even Jack looked uncertain.
"I could stop the war," he said, eyes still closed as he imagined all the good he could do with the power of the Skasis Paradigm at his fingertips. "Walk on the plains of Gallifrey again. See Susan again – Romana, Brax, The Master...every single one of them, they could be reborn."
He saw it all.
Gallifrey strong and safe, its burnt orange skies sheltering those that lived on its surface, the Citadel shining as a centre of learning and advancement and goodness as it was suppose to have been. He thought of his home by the Lethe River with the red fields shivering in the breeze, his children alive and well again, their children also; he saw Susan picking her child up and making him laugh, eyes shining as she looked towards him, Grandfather, come and play. There was the Master, happy and healthy and sane; Romana as she used to be before the war had sharpened her edges, hardness where there used to be softness. And then there was Zoe, the red fields sweeping around her thighs, Gallifreyan cloth fashioned into a dress for her, forever ageless as she walked to join him at the river's edge, their home on the plains behind them, her hand tucked into his.
"No," Sarah Jane said, her voice was filled with such strength of conviction that the Doctor's eyes opened, his dreams fading from him. "The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love. Whether it's a world...or a relationship," his eyes softened at the hitch in her words. "Everything has its time, and everything ends."
Looking into her eyes, he was humbled by her as he always was by his friends who were, and always would be, the best of him. Zoe's hand was warm and real in his, and it was the final, most painful temptation – the weight of her hand in his, the warmth of her skin, and the strength of her grip that would one day become nothing more than a memory. He nearly wavered, nearly tipped over the precipice that he was standing on and had stood on before – his commitment to being the Doctor a constant work in progress – before he yanked himself back, breathless.
She would never stay with him if he crossed the line into becoming a god.
He knew that.
It didn't stop him from wanting what was being offered to him though.
Instead of answering Finch, who deserved no answer, he dropped Zoe's hand and grabbed the nearest chair, hurling it into the computer as a distraction.
"Run!"
Finch opened his mouth and an unearthly scream emerged from deep within his chest; the powerful flapping of wings soared towards them as the maths teachers threw off their disguises and raced to meet their leader. Zoe grabbed the closest hand to her – Rose's – and started running. Their feet pounded through the school corridors and down the steps that led out of the maths lab until they reached the entrance hall where Sarah Jane's car was parked in the lobby, shattered glass doors surrounding it, Jackie talking urgently to Kenny.
Sarah Jane made a sound of surprise, unhappy at finding that her car had been used as a battering ram.
"What's goin' on?" Jackie asked, concerned, her eyes widening at the sight of the Krillitanes soaring down the hallway towards them, screeching all the time. "Oh, god."
"Explain later, run now," Jack said, quickly, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her away from the car. "Move it, Jacks!"
Horror stretched across Kenny's face. "Are those my teachers?"
Zoe dropped Rose's hand so that she could take his to make sure that he didn't get left behind, pulling him along with her. "Kind of, sorry."
"Are you like that?" He asked, red in the face as he tried to keep up with her.
She looked at him strangely. "Why would I be like?"
"You're a teacher."
"Yeah, but I'm a sub," she said. "Down the stairs we go, Kenny. Pick up your feet!"
He stumbled after her but the tight grip on his hand meant he was in no danger of falling behind. He huffed and puffed on her heels and wondered how much stranger his day could get but he figured that it was still better than drama.
"Everyone in," Jack ordered holding open the door of a large hall that was set up for a student council meeting. He slammed the door shut behind them but it wasn't enough as the Krillitanes burst through seconds later, sending splinters of wood flying outwards. "Shit!"
"Language," Zoe chastised.
"I've heard worse," Kenny assured her before he was flung beneath a table, Zoe sliding in next to him. "We're trapped!"
"A little bit, yeah," the Doctor agreed, peeking over the top of his table only to duck back down again. "This doesn't look good. Zoe, I'm pinned down. Can you make a run for the TARDIS?"
"Not from this side," she said, pulling her head sharply back in when a Krillitane swooped at her. Jackie screamed and kicked out, wildly flailing her legs, when one came for her but Sarah Jane was able to drag her to safety. "Does anyone have anything potentially flammable on them that we could set on fire?"
"There's the oil in the kitchen," Mickey yelled, hands over his head as the Krillitanes screeched and attacked his table. "Barrels of it!"
"Everybody grab a chair," Jack instructed. "We'll have to fight our way –"
A laser beam from the doorway interrupted him, felling one of the Krillitanes fell the sky.
Finch's mouth gaped in a scream, roaring his displeasure into the room as K9 rolled through the burning smoke.
"K9," Sarah Jane exclaimed with relief.
"Suggest you engage running mode, mistress," K9 said, taking aim with his laser again and firing.
"Come on," the Doctor urged, and they crawled out from beneath the tables to run out of the side door that led off into another classroom. "K9, hold them back! "
"Affirmative, master," he replied. "Maximum defence mode."
The Doctor sealed the door behind them, racing to catch up. "I figured it out!"
"Finally," Jackie exclaimed. "Took you long enough."
He ignored her as they ran. "It's the oil like Jack said. Krillitane life forms can't handle it. That's it! They've changed their physiology so often that even their own oil is toxic to them. How much was there in the kitchens?"
"Loads of it," Mickey said, a little out of breath, leading them to the kitchens by slamming through the swinging doors; Jack ducked a swinging ladle. "Here."
"Okay, we need to get to them and pile them all in here," the Doctor ordered. "Mickey, you, Rose, and Jackie get all the children unplugged and out of the school. This is going to get explosive fast, and I don't want any casualties, particularly children."
"Copy that, boss," he nodded, leading Rose and Jackie, who was red in the face and looked frustrated at having to run again, through the side door to get the children out.
"Now then," the Doctor continued, looking around for inspiration. "Bats, bats, bats. How do we fight bats?"
"The fire alarm," Kenny said, hand massaging his side, glasses slipping down his nose, cheeks blotched red. They all looked at him in surprise, having half-forgotten that he was there. "Bats have sensitive hearing. The fire alarm might hurt them."
"Gold star for Kenny, yes," he enthused. "Kenny, set off the fire alarms and then get outside quick as you can. I don't want you anywhere near this."
He nodded and pushed his glasses up his nose, taking great pleasure in setting off the alarms; the wail of it made the Krillitanes scream, the sound echoing down the hallways and into the kitchen. Kenny took one last look at the strange group of people before he raced out of the same door that Jackie, Mickey, and Rose had left through. Zoe and Jack were busy hauling barrels of the oil into the centre of the kitchen while Sarah Jane kept lookout; she let out a small sound of surprise when K9 nudged his way through the door and bumped up against her leg. Her eyes burnt with tears at the sight of him, and she crouched to pet him.
"I've missed you, boy," she said, softly.
K9 bumped her hand in response.
"They've been deadlock sealed," the Doctor said, irritably. "Finch must've done that. I can't open them."
"There must be something we can use for leverage," Zoe said, looking around. "A bar of some kind."
"The vats would not withstand a direct hit from my laser, Master," K9 said, the four humans looking down as one. "But my batteries are failing and there is capacity for only one shot. For maximum impact, I must be stationed directly beside the vat."
Jack frowned. "You won't be able to get out. You'll be trapped in here, caught in the explosion."
"That is correct."
Grief gripped Sarah Jane, dropping to her knees, hand resting atop his head. "No, K9, we'll find another way."
"No alternative possible, Mistress."
"Doctor, there has to be something else." She looked up into his unfamiliar face and recognised the lines of resigned acceptance that lived beneath his skin. "No, no. Don't look like that, he's our friend, we need to –"
"Jack, get her out of here," he ordered, speaking over her and anger roared through her when he grabbed her elbow and lifted her to her feet. "Sarah, I'm sorry, I am, but we don't have time to argue."
"No," she protested, the gentle way Jack took her arm belying the strength of his hold. "K9 –"
"Goodbye, Mistress," K9 said, tail wagging as Jack half-dragged, half-carried her out of the door. "Master, it is the optimal time for you to go."
The Doctor swallowed back his regret at another friend gone, and he crouched down in front of him, hand reaching for Zoe's. "Goodbye, old friend."
"Goodbye, Master."
"You good dog," he said, meaning every word, taking the time despite the shrieks of the Krillitanes approaching and Finch's footsteps growing louder. "You really good dog."
K9's ears twitched. "Affirmative."
Zoe pulled on his hand, drawing him back from K9, and they rushed out of the kitchen, the door slamming shut behind them. The sonic screwdriver slipped from his hand, pulled out of his lax grip by Zoe who pressed it against the lock and sealed the door behind them; there was no time to stop and grieve, the noise from inside the kitchens reaching them as the Krillitane converged on K9. Jack hadn't been able to pull Sarah Jane too far away for fearing of actually harming her, and they stood on the edge of the marked playing field, waiting and watching, her face creased in sadness and grief.
"We need to run," the Doctor said in lieu of a greeting, grabbing her hand and fighting through her resistance. "Sarah, come on, please."
He pulled her along behind him until she found her own steam at his side, crossing the length of the playground at a run. Halfway across the concrete stretch, the ground trembled and the force of the explosion threw them from their feet. He hit the ground hard, acrid smoke filling the air as sheaves of paper and dust rained down upon their heads. Somewhere ahead of him, he heard Jack's voice break through the ringing in his ears, checking on Zoe who responded and set his mind at ease. Pushing himself up, he crawled over to Sarah Jane and helped her sit up, the loud cheers of the children at odds with the burning building in front of them.
"Here, let me." The Doctor curved an arm around her back and helped her sit up, brushing the dusting of detritus from her hair, her fingers curled against his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Sarah. He was a really good dog."
Her throat worked, tears burning. "It's all right. He was just a daft metal dog. It's fine, really."
"Sarah..." he murmured, gently.
Her expression wavered, eyes meeting his, and a sob slipped from her mouth. He drew her into his arms and bowed his head against hers. She pressed her face into his chest, the school burning behind them, as she wept for K9.