Inspired by the line "You've got me for life, Nibbles."
"You've got me for life, Nibbles." Those words were his words. Words that were a promise between two brothers. A promise that he would always have his big brother and a promise that he would always protect his little brother. But, In some ways, it had been shattered in half with one half being kept while the other had not.
His brother had protected him. He'd protected him in a way that he thought would never happen. That part of the promise was true. On the other hand, since his brother had sacrificed himself for him, Ethan now wouldn't have Cal for life. He was all alone.
It was a grey raining day, just like it was when Cal had died. Ethan was hunched down in front of the gravestone.
"Hey, bro." Ethan called out. "I still can't believe you're gone and you're not coming back."
Ethan paused waiting to hear Cal respond. But, of course, he didn't. He couldn't.
"Anyway, " Ethan sighed. "Not much has changed over these past three years.. My symptoms haven't started, which is good. But, I think that will all change in the next year."
Hearing himself say those words aloud made Ethan wonder what Cal would say;
"You're being ridiculous, Eth." Cal said.
"How am I being ridiculous? I'm just being prepared for the inevitable."
"Yeah, I know that. But, no one actually knows when their symptoms are going to develop. It might be years till you start showing signs."
"But, what about if I start showing symptoms when I've settled down, got married and had children?"
"So? What's the problem with that?"
"I don't know. I'm just thinking about what happened with mum and us."
"What has mum got to do with you developing symptoms?"
"Look what happened to us when she began to develop symptoms. She had to give us up because she couldn't look after herself, let alone take care of us, Cal."
"Ethan, you forget that she didn't give us up. We were taken away from here. That wasn't her fault." Cal reminded him.
"I know it wasn't her fault that we got adopted. I'm not saying that. All I'm saying is, what if that happens to me? What if I can't look after my own kids? I don't want them to go through what we had to."
"What makes you think that's going to happen to you? You have me, you'll have whoever you marry to support you through this. Mum didn't. If she did, then things would be a lot different, don't you think?"
"I guess."
"And anyway, we didn't have a bad childhood, did we? Our adoptive parents were lovely. They gave us everything we wanted. Plus we still had each other, just like we do now."
"Yeah, that's true. I'm just scared, I guess."
"And it's okay to be scared, Eth. I'd be scared too, I am scared."
"You are?"
"Of course, I am. I'm scared about what will happen. I'm scared about losing you. I know I shouldn't think about that. We're not even close to what might happen, but I'm scared. I keep thinking about mum and what happened to her. I don't want the same thing happening to you."
Back to the present, Ethan looks up at the sky. The fear of knowing the inevitable was still strong. Knowing what his mum had gone through seemed only too real now. But, now he'd have to go through all that without having his brother there to support him. Apart from Cal, Lily was the only one who knew, even then, that was no good. Lily had left Holby a couple of years ago and he'd lost contact with her.
"Enough with this grim stuff," Ethan forced a smile. "I've got some news that I think you'd like."
Ethan could just picture Cal grinning and saying to him, 'Oh, yeah?"
"I'm going to be a father."
Again, Ethan could imagine how Cal react;
"Wow, that's great news! Congratulations, Nibbles."
"I know. But, here's the thing, you've got to promise me you won't call me that in front of my child."
"Oh? Why not? I think it's funny. And anyway, I'm going to be an uncle, which means I get to embarrass you in front of your child."
"No difference there, then?"
"Not a chance. So who is this lucky lady then? And will I get to meet her?"
"Her name's Fenisha and I'm sure you'll meet her at some point. She's a paramedic at the hospital."
"Really? Again?"
"What do you mean 'again'?"
"I mean first Honey, then Lily, then Alicia and now Fenisha."
"Okay, but what about you and Alicia?" Ethan said, before pausing for a moment. "Hang on, what do you mean 'me and Lily? We're just friends."
"Yeah, now you are. But, before, I honestly thought you two would get together."
"So did you." Ethan recollected.
"Only because of you."
"When is it never because of me?"
"Because I was so much more immature back then." Cal winked. "And anyway, what about Taylor?"
"What about Taylor?"
"She didn't work at the hospital."
"Still. Look how that turned out for you. She lied to you and made you steal my money."
"True. And I'm still really sorry about that. Like I said I was immature back then. But, it wasn't that bad."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, I mean we got to spend time with Matilda."
"Until we discovered she wasn't yours. Another small detail, she lied to you about."
"Yes, but think about. If it wasn't for Taylor showing up with Matilda, claiming she was mine, we would never have discovered about our adoption. Which means we would never have found Emilie or found out that you had inherited the gene."
"And that's good?"
"Okay, maybe not discovering that you have Huntington's. But, the rest of it was. We're still brothers and at least now we know what to expect."
"Fine, I agree that is good news, but..."
"No buts, Ethan."
Ethan smiled at his thought. If only Cal was here now. He'd surely be proud of him. Not only that but, he'd find it funny just how Ethan got Fenisha pregnant in the first place. He' probably be proud of him about that too. Though for now, Ethan would have to deal with this new change in his life by himself. Without his big brother.