Chapter Thirty-Four: Cataalda Base: Smile

Rey was wandering around the base. She didn't quite know what to do with herself. In truth, she'd never had any idea what to do with herself at the base. She wasn't a lieutenant or a commander like Finn and Poe. She didn't have a job like Rose.

The closest thing she had was training future Jedi. But none of the children they had brought back from Coruscant were in a fit state to be taught. They were currently being treated by doctors, recovering from the gross neglect and abuse they'd suffered from the Hand. Rey was allowed to visit them, but she wanted to give them time to adjust to their new surroundings.

She was still trying to adjust. She had only been with the Rebellion since after the Battle of Crait and everything had been focused on resettling on their new base and figuring out what the next move would be.

Rey had to admit she had been preoccupied with Ben. Even when she had been shutting him out, he was still on her mind. She wouldn't have had to focus so hard on shutting him out if she hadn't wanted to think about him.

She already missed him. She thought about the time they'd spent together on Coruscant. When they'd joined together. A shiver went through Rey at the thought. She'd been hungering for Ben again, but he hadn't dared to make a move while they were on the Ghost. The ship was far too crowded. Almost as soon as they'd gotten to Cataalda, Ben had gone off on the mission to Kamino.

Rey decided to go outside of the Base into the forest. Cataalda reminded her of Takodana. Maybe it was lack of reference. But there was something so beautiful about the greenery of the planet.

As she walked out into the forest, taking in deep breaths of fresh, crisp air, she felt a wave of the Force pass over her. She looked out into the shade and saw Kaila. She was sitting cross-legged on the ground, eyes closed.

"This has been a while coming, hasn't it?" Kaila opened her eyes. She stood up. "You and I haven't had the opportunity to speak alone. Leia's been trying to matchmake us for months now. Hopes we can have more success rebuilding the Jedi than our masters did." She smiled, stepping forward. "Of course, I doubt we'll have the same interpersonal conflicts that Ezra and Master Skywalker had."

Rey frowned, shaking her head slightly. "What do you mean?"

"Ancient history," Kaila waved off the question with a small, knowing smile. "And not really my story to tell. How are you doing Rey?"

"Fine..." Rey looked down. "I didn't mean to interrupt you."

"It's all right." Kaila affectionately pat a tree. "I'm enjoying being on the ground again. I love my ship. It's been like a home to me. But it's always nice to commune with a planet. Besides..." She reached up and touched the ring hanging from the chain on her neck. "I'm starting to think my home may be something different."

"So you're staying then?" Rey tried to hide the hopeful note in her voice. "You and Ben?"

Kaila shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know. I'm still trying to figure things out. I'm not a Jedi Master. I'm just a Knight. Ben is my first Padawan. He's also- obviously- a special case. I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do."

Rey bit her lower lip. "But here you can be with Poe."

"It's not my relationship you're worried about, Rey." Kaila hesitated, looking Rey over carefully. There was something in the Twi'lek's eyes that made Rey uneasy. Like she could look right through her. "Have you ever been in love before? Had a boyfriend?"

"Oh, Ben's not..." What was he? Rey wasn't really sure how to define him.

Kaila nodded sagely. "Right. I know it's intense. You want to spend every moment together. You're not sure how you lived before it happened and you don't know how you'd go on with it gone. But if I understand correctly, your relationship started across the galaxy from one another. If you're separated again physically... You'll still be together."

"So you do think you're going to have to go?" Rey felt her heart sinking.

"I've been running for a long time." Kaila walked back towards the base and Rey followed alongside her. "I thought Ben needed to run along with me. To find his place in the galaxy. But we keep on falling into this business with the Rebellion. Maybe this is where we were running to. But that doesn't mean we'll be here forever. That doesn't mean there won't be a million missions we have to go on." She looked over at Rey. "I've accepted a position from General Organa. Not just as a smuggler. As a full member of the Rebellion. I know what she wants of us eventually. To reform the Jedi. But those kids... That's not the way to do it. Not yet. We need to have a solid foundation first and as long as we're at war with the First Order, we won't have that. We need to find my master. We need to defeat the First Order. Then we can rebuild the Jedi as something Master Skywalker would be proud of."

Rey looked over Kaila. "So... You knew Master Skywalker before... Everything?"

Kaila smiled, her expression wistful. She nodded. "I was five when I met Master Skywalker. He seemed so... Tall. Wearing these dark robes. But he had a kind smile."

"I never saw him smile." Rey thought back on her time with the old hermit she'd only known for so brief a time.

"I wasn't close enough to him to feel when he moved on," Kaila commented. "When he did... Was Master Skywalker happy?"

"He was." Rey took a deep breath. "And when you knew him... He was happy?"

"There were things that brought him joy."

He hadn't called for him. No, Ezra would never do that. But the pain that resonated through the Cosmic Force called him, brought him back to himself. It felt so strange, to be Luke Skywalker again. He knew he had not been a part of the Force for long, but in some ways... It felt like he'd always been just a part of the Force. Time had no meaning where he was now.

But Ezra still meant something to him.

Thrawn had him in an controlless escape pod, tethered to a Star Destroyer with tractor beam. It was the only way the First Order could guarantee he wouldn't be able to escape.

Ezra was curled up on the floor of the pod. His hair was matted with blood. The only time the Order let him leave the pod was when they were torturing him.

They wanted his screams. Wanted it to echo through the Force. They were luring Kaila. They thought it would bring them to Ben.

"Ezra..." Luke's ethereal body felt foreign to him. Words felt strange. Was the physical world always so bright, even in the blackness of space? "Ezra, I'm here."

Ezra raised his head. It had been years since Luke had seen him, but he didn't look much different. Time had been much kinder to him than it had Luke. Only, Luke did not bear the burden of his age any longer. He could appear as he wanted, as Ezra wanted him. He looked as he did when they'd first met, on that plane between worlds when their hands- their souls- first touched. He was clean-shaven, blond, still hopeful for the future.

"Luke...?" Ezra's voice was rough. He spat blood out onto the floor before looked up. His expression softened, the years seeming to melt away as he looked at Luke. "Why are you here?"

Luke wasn't yet used to touching things in his new spiritual form. But Ezra needed him. He needed to feel him. "You needed me," Luke replied. He touched a ghostly hand to Ezra's cheek, feeling a jolt of warmth through him.

This he missed. This was something that- now that he felt it- had been absent during his time with the Force. Not just the touch of another person, but of Ezra. When they'd parted, Luke had denied how much he missed Ezra. As a part of the Force, he felt nothing except peace. But as Luke...

"I missed you," Luke let his fingers- smooth and young- drift over Ezra's cheek. "You're hurt."

Ezra struggled to sit up. "I don't know what they want." He leaned into Luke's touch. "They just keep torturing me. But they don't seem to want me to tell them anything... They said they want Kaila and Ben... But Kylo Ren..."

"He's turned. He's with Kaila," Luke explained. His fingers traced over the edges of Ezra's beard.

"What?" Ezra blinked. One of his eyes was bloodshot. "But how?"

"He's stronger than I thought. He's fighting the Dark Side. Kaila is helping him. But he left the First Order in chaos. Thrawn is taking advantage of that. And he wants to lure them both here, using your pain. Vader did the same thing to Leia and Han to bring me to Cloud City. Kaila can feel your pain." Luke let his hand mold to Ezra's cheek. "They can't come here. It's too dangerous."

"I can't let it get to me," Ezra leaned into Luke's hand. "I need to be strong. But... It hurts so much..."

"I'll help you." Luke leaned in and pressed his forehead to Ezra's. "I'll stay with you. Use me to protect yourself."

Ezra reached a trembling hand to Luke. "Why would you help me? I abandoned you. I wanted to find you... To tell you I was sorry..."

"I know," Luke assured him. "I should have told you about Vader. I never blamed you for leaving. I just wish we hadn't lost that time."

Everything between Luke and Ezra had been unspoken. They clashed over their teaching methods. Their temperaments frequently got the best of them. But in the end... Luke had been so drawn to the other Jedi. He was the only one who understood him. He doubted he would have made it through the years without him. Maybe if Ezra had still been at the temple, Luke wouldn't have made such a horrible mistake with Ben.

Everything in Luke's life made sense now that he was no longer in it. As a rash young man, he'd denied the importance of Ezra to him. But as a spirit, sitting with the injured man, Luke understood the truth. He would not be able to let go of the life of Luke Skywalker and become truly one with the Force until it was Ezra's time to pass on. The only place Luke would find peace would be with his other half, the one he'd denied for so long.

But Luke knew it wasn't Ezra's time yet. He was still needed. He was one of the last vestiges of the old Jedi. But he was one who could help usher in the new.

Luke could wait. Time meant nothing to a dead man. For now, all that mattered to him was Ezra. He had to keep him safe, keep him strong.

"They're going to come for me again soon." Ezra shut his eyes tightly. "I can stand it if they hurt me. But if they go after Hera or Sabine or Zeb..."

"You will stay strong," Luke insisted. "I'll keep you strong."

Ezra looked up at Luke. His face was still battered from the torture, but there was a small, sad smile on his face. "Luke, I never told you..."

"I know, Ezra." Luke smiled sadly back at him. "I always knew."