They stood there for a long time, neither of them speaking, and Lucy didn't want to be the one to start the conversation after what he had just said. This was all on him and putting words in his mouth was not what she wanted to do either. So she waited. He would either say what he wanted to say or he wouldn't but she wanted him to be part of the group again.

Rick was right about them all sticking together and leaving no one behind, and he was trying to do his best to deal with the unfortunate situation he was in. If he could deal with Lori and Shane, Daryl and Lucy could deal with each other, this was way bigger than them.

Separating himself from them had been dumb in her opinion, not that what she thought mattered. Daryl had made all those decisions without her input and now he had to do this on his own too. Even if they couldn't work things out, he still needed to be part of the group, they needed him and he needed them.

That was the problem with getting involved with someone during these times. They were fighting for their lives most of the time but she had felt most alive when she was with him. Unfortunately it wasn't meant to be. But Daryl needed to come back from the other side of the field.

Lori had gone out there to try and talk some sense into him, because Rick was delayed getting back with Shane one night and he had told her to get lost. Usually Daryl was the first person to volunteer to go scavenge supplies or to help with anything, but no more.

He was miserable and wanted to stay that way, case closed. He was done doing for everyone he told her and wanted nothing from them.

It had seemed simple to him, reject her, drive her away and be done with it. He had literally done it to many of the women he came into contact with, and all of the ones he had slept with in the past. It always worked for him and he was always fine, but not this time. He was not fine.

He had never communicated a feeling to someone before or cared to, he was always in the wind when it was over. This was all so new for Daryl, he couldn't get over her, he just couldn't. No manner of separation had helped, he still thought about Lucy constantly.

"Look I made a mistake ok and I don't know how to fix it." He began.

"How about talking to me, that's a start."

Daryl considered it for a moment and then it all came pouring out in a tumble of words that he didn't even think about first. He was always so careful with words, and a man of so few, except for when he was with her.

He could never keep things from her and he didn't want to. That's what he had found out in his self imposed isolation. She was still the first person he thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last person he thought about before he closed his eyes at night.

With Lucy, the words just always poured out of him and all of his defenses always came down with her. At first it bothered him, he didn't want to let her in, but she was in him now, and she belonged there. Now he wanted her there.

"I miss you, I miss the fighting and the sarcastic comments, all your bullshit and nonsense." He paced in front of her, "You're a goddamn pain in my ass ninety percent of the time." He stopped and ran his hand through his hair, "You're annoying and set in your ways with the fucking vanilla extract you put in everything, fucking crunchy cheetos and those disgusting chocolate twizzlers…"

"You really know how to turn on the charm Dixon…" Lucy quipped.

"See?" He lit a cigarette and passed it to her and she accepted it gratefully, "That's what I mean, you're a smartass. You make me so mad sometimes. Who knew that was what I can't live without."

"You really hurt my feelings..." Lucy answered and she meant it, he had finally made up his mind but she wasn't too sure she could trust him again.

"I'm sorry. I got scared I guess…" He explained as they smoked side by side as the sun started going down.

"Of what? You thought I wanted to have babies and spend our lives listening to Ed Sheeran songs?" Lucy laughed, "Were you afraid I wanted to tie you down."

"Not that kind of scared," Daryl chuckled softly and tried to put what he was feeling into words, "Scared for your life, of not keeping you safe. I don't know what it was, I need you, and I've never needed someone before and that guy had a gun to your head…" Then he just stopped, "I miss my friend…"

"Thought you didn't want to be friends?"

"No...I said I didn't want to be just friends…" Daryl corrected.

"I'm mad at you..."

"I know it, I deserve it."

"All because some guy tried to feel me up? Do you know how many times that's happened in bars over the years?"

"Just want to keep you safe."

"But I don't wanna be safe, not like that…" She came closer to him until they were a breath away from each other and she shook her head, "I don't want that kind of safe."

He wanted to kiss her then but hesitated, it wasn't going to be that easy and he wasn't going to disrespect her feelings after what he had done. Instead Daryl went for a hug and she still fit him perfectly. She always had, they were like two pieces of a puzzle, made just for each other.

"Come back to the group and we'll see what happens, ok."

He just stood there holding her, breathing in her scent. She smelled like lemongrass soap and that was just about the best smell he could ever remember. It was funny how he missed her smell, and now he was so relaxed in her arms.

"I want it the way it was…" He lifted her up onto her tiptoes, it was worth a try, he figured.

Lucy shook her head, but didn't let go of him either, she had missed him too, it felt good to be in his arms again, "Not yet, you really hurt me, now I'm afraid.."

"That's fine, we aren't back together but we will be. I won't give up and I understand that we have to start over; except now I already know about that birthmark you have under your right…" He raised his eyebrows and slid his eyes down to her chest.

"Shhhhhhhh," She giggled, "My eyes are up here…"

He brought his mouth to the shell of her ear, "I'm a boob guy, you know this already," He whispered and all the hair stood up on her neck. He brought his nose along her neck, breathing deeply, but never touched her, he didn't have too, the effect was the same.

"Are you going to go move your tent tonight or what?" Lucy shut him down quick, and Daryl just smiled, he expected as much. It was worth a shot though. He wasn't going to give up on her so easily, and once he got her back he was never going to let her go or fuck it up again.

"That's the plan," He replied with a grin, "I'll be seeing you around…"

Lucy watched him as he walked away, the view was stunning as usual, there was something about the way he walked coming or going, and that red rag that was always in his back pocket but she wouldn't give in that easily. She wanted him to work to get her back and she needed to trust him. This was going to be the long game, and she wouldn't be so easily seduced this time. He also needed to know that this was his only chance, if he ever hurt her that way again it would be over forever.

/

Rick was on the porch stairs sitting when Lucy walked back from talking to Daryl. It was clear that he saw and might have heard what went down between them. They had talked briefly about the situation when Daryl isolated himself from everyone, Rick had heard Daryl yell at her on the way back from the CDC, everyone had.

Lucy knew that he had his own problems brewing, and a potential shit show once the baby was born but Rick was doing his best to hang on to his wife and his best friend at the same time. Lucy didn't envy him, his situation was more fucked up than hers and Daryl's.

"So, you forgave him?"

"Not exactly, he publicly humiliated me…" Lucy blew a breath out and sat down next to him

"Sucks doesn't it?"

"It's not all moonlight and roses is it?"

Rick shook his head and laughed, "No it certainly is not."

"What are you gonna do?"

"Don't know," He answered truthfully, he didn't know what to do. He suspected the baby wasn't his, neither Lori or Shane confirmed anything, but Rick wasn't stupid. The math did not add up, he had told them all that the day they went for gas.

"They always say if you don't know what to do, don't do anything, and that's my plan…"

She reached into her pocket and took out a package of chocolate twizzlers and offered him one. Rick took it even though he had never had chocolate ones before.

"Chocolate?"

"Good right?"

"Yeah, really good."

"I don't know what I'm gonna do when we can't find them anymore…" Lucy sighed.

"Do you think we should stay here?"

"If Herschel lets us I guess till the spring, I don't know Rick, what does your gut say…"

"See those fences there?" He pointed to the far end of the property where the fences were, they went all around the farm, but Rick wasn't convinced having seen the bridge fall when too many of the dead were on it.

"Yeah?"

"They aren't strong enough if a whole bunch of them show up and that's why I can't sleep at night."