Ben

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for still following this story.

Chapter Thirty-Four-An Impossible Choice

Jacob walked a long way down the beach. He wanted to make sure he was well out of ear shot of all the others before he confronted Paul. Even though it was dark, with his enhanced eyesight, he could still see the gentle hue of gold in the sand. He loved this beach. He loved the driftwood that came upon the buoyant waves like tiny rescue boats. Then there was the seaweed, that flora of those salty waves, as deeply green as any high summer foliage. His favourite memories were of playing in the softly rolling dunes when he was a kid, when his mother was still alive, and nothing bad had happened yet to shatter his innocent world. He would play hide and seek with his sisters in the tall, tall grasses that whispered so sweetly into the gusting breeze. Those were happy days.

"If you think your silence is going to intimidate me. It won't." Paul's sarcastic comment pulled him out of the happy memories of his past and back into the present. Jacob stared at Paul, folding his arms across his chest as he matched his steely glare. Despite what Lahote claimed, he could see his silence was affecting him. He stayed mute and let Paul get his feelings off his chest first. "You can't lecture me, Jake. Not when you would have done exactly the same."

Jacob narrowed his eyes, but stayed quiet as Paul continued to try and defend himself.

"I won't have you questioning my loyalty to the pack. I am loyal. But that doesn't mean that I don't think that things need shaking up around here. Why should we be beholden to a treaty that we didn't even make. It may have benefitted our ancestors at the time, but I don't think it benefits us now. It needs to be changed, as well as the way we handle things. After everything we've been through as a pack, after spending so much time with Pixie, I've learned that every vampire is not our enemy, Jake. They're people just like us, with the same strengths and weaknesses. And I know I've been the most vocal in the past about that very thing, but you can't tell me that if Bella had been changed into a vampire, that if she came seeking asylum on the res, that you wouldn't have fought tooth and nail to make that happen." Paul argued.

Jacob couldn't deny the truth of Paul's last statement. He would have defied his pack in order to keep Bella safe. Even though she would have been his mortal enemy, still, he would have defended her, protected her, her welfare came first, because he loved her.

"Maybe, even then."

Those words had haunted him daily after they had exchanged their last goodbyes. In his darkest moments leading up to the wedding he wondered if he would be able to uphold that promise. Could he accept her as a vampire, if somehow, afterwards, she changed her mind about being with Edward? He had gone back and forth, debating with himself. All the parts he loved about her would be gone. She wouldn't be his Bella anymore. She would be some ice-cold, fucked up version of herself. She wouldn't be the same girl. She couldn't be. But deep down, he didn't really believe that. He knew Bella better then she knew herself. Even if she did change, she would still be the same, just surrounded by an unbreakable shell. If she came back to him changed, he would still love her.

"You're right." Jacob conceded. "I would have fought you all the way."

"Then you understand…" Paul's shoulders relaxed slightly now that he realised Jacob was going to be reasonable.

"Because I understand, it doesn't mean that I will allow either Alice or Esme to stay here." Jacob cut in sharply. He watched Paul tense up again and sighed. This was the difficult part. How was he supposed to argue his point when he knew that if it involved vampire Bella, he would be doing exactly the same as Lahote. "There are a million reasons that them staying here is not a good idea."

"Name one!" Paul demanded hotly.

"Because it would trigger more innocent children to phase and be dragged into this mess." Jacob reminded him. "It's happening already."

"What?" Paul lost all his bluster as he stared at Jacob in disbelief.

"Both Colin Littlesea and Brady Fuller went down with the fever last night." Jacob informed him tiredly. "They're thirteen, Paul. Thirteen!"

"You're wrong." Paul shook his head in denial. "They could just be suffering from a normal illness…"

"Colin's temperature registered at 108 degrees. It broke the damn thermometer. His mother was about to take him to hospital before Old Quil heard about it and intervened. We've been monitoring them both closely. Its only a matter of time."

"But why didn't I know about this?"

"You've been out of contact a lot lately. That is something that is going to have to change." Jacob said pointedly. He watched as Paul dragged his fingers through his hair as he looked at his Alpha guiltily. The news about the young boys imminent phasing had really shaken him up. "I'm not going to lecture you anymore, Paul. I empathise with you. I would be the world's biggest hypocrite if I didn't, but sometimes difficult choices have to be made. And this is one of them. Esme and Alice Cullen need to leave the res. I can't…I won't risk having anymore lives turned upside down. Do you understand?"

Paul exhaled slowly as he nodded his head in agreement. "Can you just let me be the one to tell Pixie?" He asked.

"Yeah." Jacob couldn't deny Lahote that. "Go."

Paul nodded his head again in thanks as he melted back into the darkness.

Bella had just checked on the boys again. She was pleased to see that they were both asleep, although from Luka's rumpled sheets it looked like he had been tossing and turning for while until he had finally gone under. She eased the door closed behind her as quietly as possible in order not to disturb them. She wondered how much longer Jacob would be. She was getting anxious. Walking back down the narrow hall, she got the fright of her life when she encountered her father sitting tensely on the Black's old couch. She hadn't heard him come in and immediately felt flustered. She was totally unprepared.

"Bells, sit down." Charlie said in a low voice.

He was calm. Too calm.

Bella's heartrate kicked up a notch as she sank down into one of the vacant armchairs. She fussed with her hair, desperately trying to think of something to say to defend herself, but came up with nothing but a measly, "I'm so sorry, Dad."

"Sorry is not going to cut it anymore, kiddo." Charlie continued in the same grave tone. "I learned some harsh truths tonight. I learned that I've been a complete fool. Everyone I loved and trusted has lied to my face every day…for years. And that includes you. My own daughter. My little girl. Why would you want to kill yourself?" His voice finally broke as he waited for her to answer.

The tears began to flow unchecked down Bella's cheeks and dripped from her chin into her lap. She felt as weak as a kitten. She was too sad to cry out and wail, or to even attempt to beg her father's forgiveness, because it was too little, too late. She was forever tormented by a past that could not be undone.

"I could try and explain…but its not going to change anything." She whispered hoarsely. "I made some very bad decisions, Dad. I can't take them back. I can't make you feel better. You're right. Saying sorry is not enough anymore, but I don't know what else to say or do."

"I've failed as a parent." Charlie's replied roughly. His hands hung limply over his knees as he sat forward on the old couch. His eyes were red-rimmed and glassy with tears.

"You haven't failed…" Bella pleaded.

"I have." Charlie wouldn't be comforted. "I've failed in the worst way. I've failed to protect you from the monsters that were in plain sight. I just didn't see what was right in front of my eyes."

"Dad, there's nothing you could have done. You didn't know." Bella's eyes swam with tears and she hurried to scrub them from her face.

"I should have known. And my so-called friends should have been the first to tell me." Charlie agreed bitterly. "But they lied. Just like everyone else."

"Billy had no choice…" Bella tried to defend Jacob's father.

"Of course, he had a choice!" Charlie's temper flared like a hot white flame for a second, before it just as quickly died again. "Don't you dare defend him to me, Bella. I won't be taken for a fool again. Renee was right to want to escape this damn town. She did the right thing taking you away. She saved you from the monsters. But then you came back and they found you anyway. Well not anymore. I won't have you or the boys put at risk anymore. We're going to get out of this godforsaken town for good and leave the monsters to feed on themselves."

"Dad, please, we can't just run away. It doesn't work like that. You're hurt. I understand that, but…"

"But nothing, Bella!" Charlie interrupted her. "You have a decision to make, my girl. You're an adult and I can't force you to come with me. But I have to think of those boys. I won't have them put in danger. I am going to protect them the way I should have protected you. It's dangerous here and they have been through enough. I was hoping to find refuge here, but I've realised I can't be around Billy or any reminders of my past. I don't trust him. He's not who I thought he was. My whole life has been a sham. I'm done with this cursed town and everyone in it."

"Dad, you can't go. You can't take Ben away. I love him. I love you. You can't ask me to make a decision like that. Its not fair." Bella cried.

Charlie's face crumbed as he stood up and pulled his sobbing daughter into his arms. He stroked the back of her head as she shook against him with the force of her tears. Bella cried as if her brain was being shredded from the inside. Emotional pain flowed out of her every pore. The world turned into a blur, and so did all the sounds. Her chin trembled as if she was a child as small as Ben. She breathed heavier than she ever had before. She was gasping for air that simply wasn't there. The thought of losing Ben was squeezing her heart into pieces. It was an impossible choice. Why couldn't Charlie see that wherever he ran it would never be far enough?

Her hysterics were cut off by the harsh ringing of her cell phone. She broke out of her father's embrace and went to answer it, her eyes so blurry with tears she couldn't make out who was calling. She was so certain that it was Jacob that she answered right away without thinking.

"Hello." She said shakily.

There was a short pause before someone answered. "Bella, my love. Please, don't hang up. We need to talk." Edward said.

A/N-thanks for reading!