Hello all! Again...I am so very sorry for the delay. It is a shorter Chapter again, but I have been struggling. Between work, and kids, life, isolation, and trying to just do everything, I have been completely blocked. So I started to read, and just let this for a little, until I stumbled across an amazing fan fic by Mellowenglishgal - I am yours, you are mine. Inspiration has come back and I am back at it.
I have been listening to Without You by Ursine Vulpine and Annaca, check it out and play as you read through this chapter. I promise, I have longer chapters coming next, but I needed to kind of start fresh on a new chapter and I am hoping it doesn't feel to cut off. As always...the reviews and comments - hey guests...I hear u, with I could send a message, but I appreciate all of you who faithfully come back and read and those who are new and drop a comment. I promise...more to come soon!
Since Disney seems not to read these...all rights to them, I own nothing!
Chapter 34
There was a part deep down inside of Rey that had hoped they would be able to defeat the darkness without having Ben let the darkness envelope him, or have them sacrificing themselves to expel it. But, as they were battered and attacked, she felt the resignation to their fate sink in further and the sliver of hope from the dream Ben had shown her slip further away.
She had never thought about children when she was on Jakku, seeing how they were treated, how the women struggled to support a family, it hadn't been a desire. And then it had completely left her mind as she ran held long down the path of becoming a Jedi. She had been so absorbed in the fight with the Resistance, then her training, and finally the battle and on Exegol, getting Ben safe, and then trying to figure out the dyad bond. It had just been a non-stop rollercoaster ride of things that had her focus elsewhere, and, she had never found herself being drawn to anyone that could have triggered the that maternal feeling in her.
That brief moment of seeing the dream and feeling the awe and happiness that Ben had felt on the discovery of her pregnancy seemed to unlock something deep down within her. Now, she was starting to feel a mourning of the loss of something she couldn't quite explain, yet hadn't been a thought up until now.
The darkness raged against them both and Ben struggled to fight against the fresh hoard of dark warriors as the swirling mass, swooped in from above just when they would have a moment of reprieve, to bite and claw at any part it could seem to wrap around.
Ben could feel his reserves slowly draining and with-it Rey's, causing them to draw more and more on what limited energy they could syphon off the group. He was finding that their energy was like standing in front of a huge container of water when you are dying of thirst, however, he only seemed to be able to take a spoonful at a time for some reason, not for the lack of both him and Rey trying, as they faced the increased length of the battle.
The darkness howled and roared with each successful strike, gloating, until there was a sudden and overwhelming silence that left Rey and Ben panting and exhausted in the middle of a shard filled field, battered and cut up.
Rey leaned on Ben slightly, her body feeling drained further than it ever did after she defeated her Sidious, and her eyes filled with tears as she raised her head to meet Ben's pale and bruised face.
"We are out of options." She breathed out, her voice filled with crushing defeat at just the suggestion, the tears finally trickling down her dirty cheeks with the thought of what they had to sacrifice.
Ben nodded and tried his best to hold her up with what he was sure was a broken arm. He felt her defeat acutely and he swallowed, eyes drifting over her face trying to off a small smile before looking around the field. It was empty, and devoid of the help they had so desperately could have used right at that moment. Just like the moment in the ruined Sith chamber, he knew that help would not come and it was up to them.
He turned back to find her hazel eyes one last time, the grim realization of knowing, again, the path he needed to go down, but unsure of his strength to do it when she was there, in his arms. "I..." He started and swallowed hard trying to find the words.
Rey reached up cupping his cheek with a sad smile, "No regrets." She said simply and leaned in for a soft and gentle kiss to his broken and her bruised lips.
Ben breathed her in, drawing on her strength, "I love you." He whispered, keeping his eyes closed, and resting his forehead against hers. She always seemed to be the strong one in moments like this and he lingered, not wanting to let her go.
Rey felt Ben's hesitation as the tears started to flow in earnest and he finally pushed away from her, the hard look of his resolve settling across his face. He gave her his saber and turned striding towards the mass of dark, tucking his hurt arm into his side, the dark's rumbling laughter rising above the cacophony of the other noise of the shattering island.
FINALLY! You have accepted your fate as I foretold! The voice was almost giddy in its tone as it echoed around the field.
Ben scowled as he walked forward, feeling Rey's gaze fixed on his back, the sabers off at her sides, hands gripping them so tightly that the metal was biting into her palms and filtering the pain through the bond to him. He held his head tall as he moved, showing no sign of the fear that gripped him on the inside. He had been living on borrowed time since Rey healed him, and it had been for this reason, so that the universe would be spared.
KNEEL, my vessel, and together we will burn away the light and truly live free!! It roared, swirling over Ben's head in an angry mass.
He turned his head slightly and shot Rey one final glance before he dropped to his knees, causing the raging mass to raise its laughter in victory, echoing the memory of Sordi's vision. Ben brought his arms out at his sides, thinking about the memory and closed his eyes.
"With me it will be done." He said softly, feeling the wind whip his hair around his face as he centered himself with the island and the force itself.
Rey watched in horror as Ben dropped and held his arms out, his face settling into calm acceptance as he stated the words that rippled through the vision he had shown her from Sordi. She couldn't help but let the pain and fear ripple through her at the sight of his surrendering to the Dark.
Then she felt it. The calm, and peace inside him that seemed to burn through their bond, wiping clean all the other emotions and centering her as she had when she first drew on the force in her session with Luke at the peak in the temple.
It was there, the light and dark, the life and death, the balance that the dyad had created between them and all things, and she closed her eyes, letting it wrap around her like a comforting salve. When she opened her eyes, the Darkness surged forward to envelope Ben, lifting him, wrapping around him in a vicious torrential wind, yet he remained silent, eyes closed.
Ben felt the darkness envelope him. It was like the rage that had driven and filled him for so much of his life, yet so much more. It was a deep-rooted darkness that was so evil and cold that he shuddered, trying to keep his mouth locked shut as the cold surrounded him, turning into the blazing heat of anger and hate.
Rey felt their connection be pulled taught, like her life line to Ben was stretched to its maximum until, in a split second, it snapped, and a reverberating sense of loss and emptiness filled her, causing her to wrap her arms around her middle tightly. The pain and grief rose up like a tidal wave inside her and she faught the urge to crumple as tears flowed freely down her face, the darkness filling the man she loved high above her.
Ben! She cried out to the silence, her breathing starting to come in gasping sobs as the skies cleared of the dark, leaving the black inkiness of the night sky in its wake. Ben...she whispered again watching his form slowly lower to the ground, face obscured by his hair, head bent, chin to his chest.
Ben felt like he was locked in his own mind, like he was watching a horrific dream play out, unable to control his own body. He thrashed and battered against the walls that held him in place, screaming Rey's name until the pain of it was too much to handle.
He felt his feet touch the ground and head left, his eyes finally finding the face he was longing to see. He had never seen her so crushed. She seemed small as she hugged her arms around her middle tightly, sobbing, nearly gasping for air and he was shattered.
REY! He bellowed into the nothing that held him in place and he thrashed, raging again, straining to show her that he was there, that the darkness hadn't destroyed him, wasn't him.
Rey took a shuddering breath as Ben's head lifted and his flaming red eyes met hers, a ghost of a smile playing across his lips. It was a look she had seen so many times before, but this time it made him look like a complete stranger, and even his stance and the way he started to make his way slowly towards her seemed wrong.
She took a deep, shuddering breath and let her arms drop to her sides, igniting both of the sabers, raising her head in defiance.
"You strike him down and I will just rise up to take another." Ben's voice grated out, deep and not quite like his warm tone. It had taken on a timber that grated on her nerves, feeling so wrong and hateful in just the way it twisted his lips to form the words.
Rey's face hardened to anger and she took another full breath in, feeling all the pain and loss, sense of acceptance and love that she had experienced since Finn grabbed her hand in the desert and pulled it up. She pulled on the force, from the group out of sight, the earth under her feet, the pounding of the powerful waves, the animals on the island and everything that created a balance, bringing it to her and massing it together.
Her hands started to spark, the kyber crystals in the sabers, responding and focusing her power as she strode forward, the sabers slightly lifted at her sides, sparking with power to the earth as she moved. Her anger and the focus of the crystals bring all of the untapped power within her in the moment.
"Then I don't strike him down until I have destroyed you." Rey said in a hard tone, trying not to feel the implication of her words as her heart clenched painfully in her chest and tears burned in her eyes.
The Darkness in Ben tipped his head back in a cold, soulless laugh, "Oh child, I truly hate to destroy such arrogant fire, such power I can feel in you." And he raised his hand, an unseen force gripping Rey by the chest, lifting her in the air, squeezing the very air from her lungs and cracking her bones.
…...
Finn had been focusing with the group so intently that everything had fallen away for him other than the feel of the force. It was a peaceful place, that seemed to have him drift through a nothingness without any realization of the pass of time or any awareness of the chaos that was happening around him.
That was, until he felt a crushing loss shudder through the force that literally shook him from his meditative state. His eyes popped open as he stumbled to his knees, clutching at his chest, his heart hammering with a searing sense of loss, and he lifted his eyes to take in the scene of absolute chaos around him.
The rest of the group was still deep within their meditative states, obviously unaware of the disturbance in the force. Finn didn't know if it was because he had been training for the shortest amount of time, or that he had a closer personal connection to Rey and Ben than just Master and student, but the jarring separation of Ben and Rey from their dyad bond was enough to rip Finn alone from his meditative state when the others remained locked in and focused.
He hastily got up and searched the immediate surrounding until he felt another shudder through the force, his eyes being drawn to the black sky, where it met the top of the hill that sheltered them from view of the field.
There, slowly rose Rey, into the air, helpless, by some unseen force, as she thrashed with both sabers and lightening sparking from her hands angrily.
"Oh, stars! Rey!" Finn breathed in disbelief, his eyes blinking, not quite comprehending the sight he was taking in, before there was a loud crack that reverberated overhead.
The Millennium Falcon raced through the atmosphere, firing shots that exploded patches of dirt in the like a machine gun, slicing a pattering path towards where the darkness-filled Ben stood, unseen to Finn. It caused him to lose momentary focus, resulting in Rey dropping the rather large distance back to the earth as his unseen grip released.
Finn was torn as to whether he should take off towards where Rey dropped like a stone, or head to where the Falcon was landing on the pad, inching precariously close to the edge to avoid the boulders and small amount of lava flow that was impinging on the landing space. He opted for heading towards the Falcon, knowing, ultimately, he would be no help to Rey against any force that was powerful enough to lift her the way it did, let alone had obviously done something to Ben that was bad enough the he was nowhere to be seen, not to mention that she had both sabers which had been an ominous sign in itself. It killed him inside to choose to move away from his friend, but he did so anyways, face grim and set.
He shot one last glance at the group, before taking off towards the Falcon while he could hear the ramp lowering slightly over the roar of the darkness and the rumbling of the island. He made it over the hill just in time to see Chewie descending the ramp with a small figure behind him, stumbling in his wake.
As he neared, he realized it was a battered and disheveled Maz and she was holding a heavy looking sack in her arms as Chewie turned to help steady her while she wobbled momentarily as another rumble ripped through the island.
Chewie roared as he spotted Finn, "Get over here!" his growl said cutting through the noise as he looked around in utter shock at the state of the island.
"Maz! Are you okay?!" Finn asked, panting and skidding to a stop and really taking in Maz's completely disheveled state.
Her clothes were ripped in multiple places with blood dried at several points, her face appearing tired with one of her large lenses cracked right through the middle, her eye behind swollen and purple, almost closed due to the trauma. She hugged the bag to her chest tightly, glancing up at Chewie with a thankful look on her face as his huge paw steadied her as she walked.
"I have seen worse battles and will be fine, as long as we get these to your group." She responded; her voice was weak with the strain of whatever she had gone through before Chewie found her.
Finn eyed the bag that she clung to, "What is that?" He asked hesitating as she gripped the bag tighter against her chest.
Maz's eyes narrowed at Finn and her chin raised in her impatience, "We have little time left by the looks of things and you are wasting precious moments of it, now, where is the group?!" He voice was firm now with the edge of certainty that conveyed she wasn't to be trifled with.
Finn's mouth snapped shut on a retort as Chewie stepped closer with a howl, looking around at the destruction and darkness nervously.
Finn didn't catch what Chewie said, but his meaning was clear; to get moving so he spun on his heal, tossing, "Follow me," over his shoulder as he took off jogging towards where he had let the group of sensitives.
…...
Rey hit the ground with bone shuddering force causing what little air that had been left in her lungs to rush out in a "whoof" sound, leaving her stunned in the dirt, eyes closed and mouth open, gaping like a fish out of water until she was able to suck in a deep gasp of the smoky air, as if it was the best thing in the world.
She huffed in a few deep breaths as her body started to register the cracked ribs she must of have gotten when she had been squeezed, as well as the broken ankle she received when dropping, and she pinched her eyes closed tightly for a moment to breath and focus again, moving the pain to the back of her mind and closing it off as Ben had done earlier.
Her mind flitted through the hazy moments that happened just before she dropped, quickly trying to piece together what could have happened, remembering the earth exploding around her as she fell and her eyes flew open.
The Falcon! Her head snapped around quickly trying to search out if the Falcon was still in the air or if it had gone to land, but her eyes met with the red piercing ones of the darkness that had taken over Ben. Its sole focus trained back on her as she carefully got to her feet with determination, avoiding putting too much weight on her injured ankle.
A wicked smile slowly spread across his face, "Yet more to meet their fate, just a little sooner than the rest of the universe." He said and started to advance on her again, the rumbling and thundering increasing with his malicious stride towards her, as if the island was threatening to crack in two beneath her feet.
Rey lit both sabers, bringing them up as she had against Sidious and slowed her breathing, trying to separate her mind from seeing the man she loved, instead to seeing the monster that had taken over him. Her mind seemed to sharpen as she felt the power of the force begin to gather around her as if it were a storm on the horizon, coming in to where she was.
It was a heady feeling causing her to suck in a breath with the sheer intensity of it and she realized where it was coming from. The group of sensitives seemed to have snapped into focus, all their power that once had been present, but just out of reach was laid before her, raw and intense. It grounded her instantly in the moment and she felt the rumbling, wind, and the darkness seem to pause as if she stepped out of the moment to gaze upon the scene.
She felt peace, sudden and heart wrenching in the way it seemed to drown her as if nothing she had ever experienced before. The island was frozen in the moment like one of the visions that she had, but she didn't have any of the disorientation like she had in the past and she looked around suddenly confused, but feeling an approaching presence.
Rey turned back to the base of the mountain where a mist was gathering and she squinted to see if the new presence was a threat. Everything else was frozen in the moment, but the fog that was rolling lazily across the field towards where her and the darkness were facing off.
She thought she should be scared of such power that seemed to be gathering, yet there was a familiarity to the soft grey that swirled and slowly started to materialize into the shape of a group of people walking towards her.
As the shapes solidified Rey gasped as she recognized two of the shapes leading the small group.