Stan's body hurt.
Okay, that was normal. He was in his sixties, every day was a random body pain. But today was different, today his head, legs, and arms all hurt, for various reasons.
But that was okay. Because Ford was back.
Ford stepped out of the portal, his face covered, and Stan almost sighed in relief. His brother wasn't dead. His brother was finally there! He stepped towards him and held his arms open wide. "After all these long years of..."
"Stanley? You saved me!"
Stan couldn't help but smile, "Yeah, I did." He said, and watched Ford take his mask off. "How are you?"
Ford took a long sigh of relief. "I'm good. Feeling better now that I can breathe. Thanks for that anyway."
Stan nodded, and he rushed up to Ford, who was fiddling with his coat sleeves. He stared at Ford for a second, then wrapped his arms around him. Normally physical affection wasn't something he liked to engage in, but the summer with Mabel had helped him with that. Plus, he'd only seen his brother once in forty years, that deserved a hug.
To his shock, he felt Ford's arms wrap around him as well.
"Stanley..." Ford whispered, "Why are Dipper and Mabel here? And are you wearing your fez?"
Stan mumbled, "No talk. Hugs." Then he registered what Ford's had said. "Um... Ford? How do you know the kids' names?"
"Uh... Cause I'm their Grunkle..." Ford answered, ending the hug gently, "Why? You should know this... Why are you wearing your suit? I thought you gave those to Soos..." Ford's eyes suddenly widened, and he glanced around the room. As he did so, his jaw dropped, and he stared in shock at the damaged room.
He suddenly spun around and looked at the portal. His breathing became quick, and he suddenly tugged his sleeves up.
"Im- Impossible... Am I dreaming? Stan. Tell me I'm dreaming."
Stan shifted nervously. Why would Ford want to be dreaming? Was there something wrong? Ford had been happy to see Stan. He had even thanked him. So why would he be scared?
"Uh... I sure hope you're not, cause that'd mean you'd be back... Wherever you were." Stan said, lifting a hand and placing it on Ford's shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"The Axolotl..." Ford whispered. "I... Oh my..."
Stan blinked at his brother. Ford was holding the side of his head, muttering something about a boat, and an ax of lot oh's or something. What was happening?
Ford lifted his arm, and stared down at his exposed wrist. There was something in his eyes, that although Stan couldn't read his mind, he felt like he knew what he was thinking.
"Um... Stanford? What's wrong?"
Ford looked up at Stan, his eyes held cold realization. He tugged his sleeves down and said quietly, "It's twenty-twelve, right?"
Stan's eyes flicked to the kids for a second, then back to Ford, "Um... Yeah? It's still summer, so... Yes." He watched his brother sigh, then seem to freak out internally. What was wrong? "Ford, are you okay?"
Ford breathed in shakily, and nodded, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "Yes. I will be fine... I just have to relive the last year..." He whispered, running a hand through his hair. "Let's see... I need Alien adhesive... Unicorn hair... And dismantling the portal should be easy..."
"Hi! Yeah... Uh, Mabel here, quick question. What is going on here?!"
Ford and Stan looked at the girl, standing between her brother and Soos. Stan winced, but Ford stepped over towards her.
He kneeled in front of her and extended a hand out to her. "Hello, my name is Stanford Pines. I'm your grandfather's brother. You can call me Grunkle Ford."
"Stanford?" Mabel asked, reaching out and shaking Ford's hand. "But... Grunkle Stan..."
"Stole my name." Ford stated simply, "He is still your Grunkle, but his full name is Stanley, if that makes sense."
Mabel nodded, and seemed to notice the kind of hand she was shaking. "Whoa, a six-fingered handshake! That's a full finger friendlier than normal!" She grinned up at her uncle, who grinned right back. "There's a reason why I learned to love again." Ford mumbled.
"You... I don't... The Author... You're the Author of the Journals!"
Ford's grin broke out into an outright smile. He released Mabel's hand and stepped over to Dipper. "Yes I am," he said, kneeling down again and coming up with the first Journal, "I'm sure you liked them."
"Liked... I didn't just like them, I love them!" Dipper exclaimed, bouncing slightly, "I... Have so many questions..."
Ford held his Journal out towards Dipper, who accepted it like he was receiving a Nobel Peace Prize. Ford held his hand out towards the boy, just in case he decided to faint.
Dipper looked down at the Journal, then pulled it close to his chest. "May I?" He whispered, and Ford's nodded.
Dipper cracked the book open, and his eyes seemed to suck in the descriptions of paranormal creatures and magical objects that were written on the pages. "Whoa..." He said, "Sorry, I only got to read the third one."
Ford chuckled, "It's fine. You have plenty of time to read the rest now. And if you have any questions, ask me."
Dipper looked like he had won a million dollars, he stared in wonder up at the older man, whose smile was filled with joy and admiration. He looked back down at the Journal and mumbled, "I sorta really want to hug you right now..."
Ford laughed, not the kind of laugh that meant he thought Dipper's statement was ridiculous, but a heartwarming one. He held out his arms and answered, "To be honest, same."
"Hugfest!" Mabel cried, and rushed up to throw her arms around Ford and Dipper. They were joined a moment later by Stan, then Soos.
Ford smiled down into the kids' hair and hat, he could fix this. He could make this summer the best one of their lives...
Even if he was technically dead. Probably. Thank the Axolotl for second chances.
"What do you mean it escaped it's confinement?!"
"Hey, it's not my fault that you kept that magic-jellyfish-thingy in an easy to open jar. Why did you even keep that in here?"
Ford sighed in frustration, a habit that he was worried he'd never stop doing. In theory, Stan and Ford on a boat alone at sea seemed like a dream come true. But in reality...
Let's just say they weren't used to living in close quarters with their opposites. Especially not their opposite that had gotten used to living by themselves.
"As I have told you," Ford's said, pulling his blue jacket over his ever-present sweater, "It's tentacles hold a powerful anesthetic. Something that could revolutionize that specific area of the medical field."
"Okay." Stan said, he knew what happened when you let Ford ramble on. "And where are you going?"
Ford had already crossed the room and opened the door. He turned slightly and answered, "We collected it back south... The water here is... Well, we're in the Arctic, I don't want it to freeze. Hopefully it's still alive. The anesthetic wears away within an hour of the creature's death."
Stan nodded, "You do you." He said, crossing his arms over his already jacketed chest. He turned around to head into the small kitchen.
Then he felt a six-fingered hand drag him outside after his brother.
He spun around, and found Ford already kneeling on the deck, holding his gloved hands out towards a pale, glowing blue octopus-creature. Stan was reminded strongly of the Cycloptopus that Ford had fought the first week he was back.
"Stan, I'm going to move towards it, stay here and make sure it doesn't get past you." Ford said, moving closer to the edge of the boat.
Stan was sure that if the creature had eyes, they'd be terrified. He watched as it's internal light began to pulse, and if Stan hadn't known any better, he'd think it was trying to communicate.
Suddenly the reality of the situation occurred to him. He and Ford were out in the middle of the ocean, at six in the morning, during a wind storm.
"Ford! It's not worth it!" He shouted to his brother. Ford seemed to shrug, and move closer to the jellyfish. "Just a little more..."
And that's when the demon jellyfish appeared. Or at least, Stan could only assume that it was a demon. It was twice the size of the Stan o' War, and looked even more angry than Stan had when he had fought the zombies.
Stan could have sworn he heard Ford cry, "Yes! The mother! This is perfect!" Stan was also pretty sure that that metal plate in his brother's head had left him somewhat damaged.
He watched in horror as one of the 'mother's' tentacles reached up, and landed with a thud on the deck, leaving a long black streak on it.
"Not perfect!" Stan yelled, "Not perfect!"
"So... Let's see, do you guys want to go get the adhesive first, or the hair?"
They had gotten rid of the Government agents ("Can I see your backpack Dipper?"), And Soos had already headed home. Ford was drawing up a to-do list, and he sat across the table from the rest of his family.
"Um... Which one is more sparkly?" Mabel asked, leaning towards her 'newest' family member.
"Well, they both tend to be pink... And neither one is exactly the safest thing to get..." Ford replied, "We just have to figure out... Dipper, mind or body?"
Dipper blinked. His mind was screaming The Author is here! The Author is here! And his stomach growled. He thought for a moment then answered, "Um... Body."
"Adhesive it is." Ford said, and wrote a few words down on his sheet of paper. "Then after that we'll go get the hair, start figuring out a way to recharge my quantum destabilizer, and we'll be completely safe from Bill..." He seemed to realize what he had said and shrunk back a bit in his chair.
"Bill?" The kids asked at the same time, while Stan raised his eyebrows. "Bill Cipher?"
"Whoo boy." Ford said, "Is it okay if I explain tomorrow? I need a bit of time to recollect my thoughts. Have a good night!"
That was a close one.
"And if you see Mermando, tell him Hi for me!"
Stan and Ford smiled at their niece. Ford was going to tell her that Mermando lived halfway across the planet from the place where they were going, but Dipper beat him to it.
"I read about Mermando," Ford's said, after the two teenagers had stopped bickering. "Isn't he the one that Dipper kissed?"
Dipper and Stan froze. "It... It wasn't a kiss Great uncle Ford... It was CPR!"
"Oh..." Ford said, rubbing the side of his face. "Of course. Manly kissing."
The other members of his family stared at him for a moment, then Dipper blushed, Mabel began giggling hysterically, and Stan chuckled out, "Hey! I was going to say that!"
Ford loved his family.
"So. If the two of you will just watch..."
Ford held his magnet gun in his hand, and demonstrated how to use it to Dipper and Mabel. Stan had stayed back at the Shack, something about how he'd already had plenty of bonding with the kids. Dipper and Mabel watched with fascination at Ford's fluid movements.
"Wow." Mabel breathed. "This is so cool!"
"Thank you Mabel." Ford responded, then he turned towards the cavern he was going to go down and yelled "Hup!".
He jumped through the air, and his magnet gun turned on about five feet down. He traveled in a spiral, not caring that he felt tiny bits of dust and rock spray onto his coat. He went down... Down... Down... He almost always forgot that the CSO was so big.
He finally felt his feet touch the ground, and his movement came to a complete standstill.
"Alright! Mabel first!" He yelled back up. "Remember to point it away from your face!"
Adhesive it is.
"So... Did like a nuclear apocalypse kill the rest of your kin?"
Stan and Mabel watched Ford. The latter looked over at her friends that had joined them. Candy and Grenda shrugged, and the four of them waited for a minute.
"Um... Yes " Celestabellabethabelle said, with a flick of her main. "They're all gone."
"My goodness, you must be devastated." Ford said, pulling his Journal out of his pocket. "And for just a small lock of your hair I can give you the perfect way to reinstate your race."
"Uh..." Celestabellabethabelle said, taking a step back with one of her hind feet. "No thank you..?"
"No, no, I insist." Ford said, flipping his Journal open, he found the page he wanted and showed it to the Unicorn. "If I could just get the tiniest bit of your DNA... Shouldn't hurt too badly..."
"Uh... You can have some hair... Take all you want!" Celestabellabethabelle said quickly, "I'm good... Really... I prefer solitude to be honest..."
Ford's grin lasted the whole rest of the day.
To be fair, this wasn't the first time Ford had been completely submerged in water for a long period of time.
He actually wasn't as scared as he had been once. He resigned himself to his fate and closed his eyes.
Stan had done his best. But when a gigantic jellyfish really wanted someone dragged into the water... Well. A giant jellyfish was a lot stronger than two humans.
Luckily, Ford's death was mostly painless. The freezing water made his stings seem only mildly uncomfortable, and... Ooh, he felt warm. Maybe he should just close his eyes...
The next thing he knew, he was in his mindscape. He was suddenly terrified. Only one person ever brought him there, and Ford was pretty sure he had erased him out of existence.
But instead of a triangle, he saw a salamander. A giant pink salamander. A huge axolotl.
"A mistake has been made." the axolotl said, and for some reason Ford trusted him completely. "A thousand can be undone."
"What?" Ford asked, but the Axolotl didn't answer him. He only stared at him with sad and ancient eyes.
"You may ask me one question." the Axolotl said, and Ford blinked, them asked the first question that came to mind.
"Can I ever truly defeat Bill Cipher?"
He wasn't conscious long enough to hear the Axolotl's answer.
Hey guys! I'm back!
This was inspired by TFD's prompt from forever ago. I changed some things up, but it's still good. I hope you guys enjoy!
I have been considering writing a one shot of the working Zodiac from the last chapter, as a lot of you seemed to like it. Let me know if you would!
Idk if there's anything else I need to say. Besides thanks. Have a great day! Stay safe and happy and sane!
-BrilliantLight