Thank you again for all your positive words :) I am forever grateful :D
Mrs Patmore yawned and stirred her cup of tea with a lacklustre level of effort, her eyes stinging at the edges where they had been forced to remain open for a prolonged period. A promise to her friend she had made, and so she had spent the evening waiting up for her to come home. That didn't seem to happen. An hour or so before, she had awoken, face resting on the hard surface of the table, her chin wet with drool, and her hand sitting in a pool of tea. During her sleep, she had knocked her cup of tea over, and she had mourned over the spilt drop before cleaning it up with chagrin, never wanting to waste a drop of the precious nectar. When she had checked the time, she had been unable to stop the thoughts going through her mind. Had Mrs Hughes come back and not realised that she was in there? Had she come back and noticed she was asleep and hadn't wanted to wake her? Or had she not come back at all? Knowing Mrs Hughes and her motherly instincts to the staff, she knew that she would have woken her up and not left her with her head resting flatly on a piece of wood as a pillow.
The issue with staying up past the body's upper threshold was that you got hungry at a far quicker rate. Your body tired, struggling to keep itself functioning, would crave and require sustenance to help facilitate the extended operating hours. On the table, further away, was her tin of special biscuits. The lid was off, and Mrs Patmore had a niggling feeling that she had blindly consumed the contents as she had sat on her own in the kitchen with her book. Stress did funny things to the body, and she had always been an emotional eater, right from a young age. It was probably one of the reasons she had never been able to maintain a svelte figure, at least in her eyes, like Mrs Hughes. Many times had Mrs Patmore watched as her friend had turned away an evening sweet or a fine pastry, her own face likely portraying the ridiculousness of turning down a dessert. Over the years, Mrs Patmore had realised that the simple things were the ones that she looked out for. Given her status on the planet, and lack of a beau to keep her occupied, she had no choice but to enjoy the things that she had control over. Making and creating beautiful food to please others and herself, as well as doing it for a job, was most definitely what she invested nearly all of her time on. She would frequently find herself offering to make people pies and cakes as an offering of friendship, hospitality and also kindness. There was nothing better than looking at the reaction of someone that enjoyed the food that was made by her own hands. Those biscuits were sweet and buttery delights, and as she lifted the tin with her hand she could tell straight away that it was empty. "Bloody hell," she whispered, disappointed in herself for consuming them all, and annoyed because she wanted to dunk one in her tea.
In the distance, she could hear the shuffling of footsteps as the early risers began their day. Mrs Hughes was usually down at this time, getting up way before she was required with Carson being away, so she hoped that she was going to appear in the kitchen to stamp on the ember of worry that nestled at the back of her mind. Breakfast almost prepared, as she had started once she had realised the time when she had woken up, and so she knew Daisy was going to appear soon too. Putting the lid on the empty biscuit tin, she got up and put it away so it was out of the way, side-eyeing it with annoyance one last time before grabbing the kettle, filling it and putting it on the oven.
"Morning, Mrs Patmore," Anna said politely as she wandered into the kitchen with Mr Bates in tow. "Oh my, you look a little worse for wear. Are you quite well?" The cook looked pale, tired, and her hair was sticking up in all sorts of angles, much more demented to how it normally was.
Mrs Patmore glared over her shoulder and grabbed some cups out for the new attendees and reached for the sugar. They had all worked together for so long, she knew exactly how each person liked their drink. It was second nature now. "Well, I was up most of the night waiting for Mrs Hughes to come back."
"How was she?" Anna queried, her face suddenly mirroring the concern she began to feel. From looking at Mrs Patmore's face, she could tell something was amiss. Although, it wasn't unusual for Mrs Patmore to have something to grumble about.
"Damned if I know," Mrs Patmore exclaimed before pouring the boiling hot water into the teapot.
"What do you mean?" Anna queried, moving over to the chair and placing her hands on the back.
Mrs Patmore lifted her head to look up at the ceiling before sighing. "She was going down to the hospital last night, you know, to tell 'im. I promised her I would wait up for 'er. I woke up this morning with my face on that table, realising that she either hadn't come home, or she hadn't realised I was in 'ere. So I don't know. I feel a bit worried though. I told her I'd wait up. So she didn't come back or she did and she was beside 'erself or somethin'."
Anna shook her head. "I think it'll be fine. I mean, we both know he adores her, even though he has never wanted to admit it. I don't think that in the presence of her direct feelings he would turn them away? Don't you agree?"
"What if that's the problem? We might 'ave built her up and told 'er it'll be fine, but he might not be able to get over the propriety wall that 'e stands behind so diligently. What he wants, and what he thinks he can 'ave are two different things." Mrs Patmore shook her head sadly. When you're in the kitchen on your own, it was easy to overthink anything. Normally she had Daisy to direct her attention to, to make sure that she was doing as she should be. It was quite a nuisance to be able to sit in her head. What if they had pushed her into it and it had gone wrong? Mrs Patmore wasn't sure Mrs Hughes could take the rejection after being so broken over the past few days.
"You mean, if she falls flat on her face because he's too stubborn to move past his role, it'll be partly our fault?" Anna turned to look at Bate with worried eyes. Bates put his hand gently on her lower back for reassurance and shook his head to confirm that it wouldn't be her fault.
"You could say that yes. We know it's true, that 'e adores her. It's more obvious than his Lordship's love of wine. I've just been thinkin' is all, it's not as if I've been doin' much else sat down 'ere. What if she has buggered off because he turned her down? and she's done a Lady Mary?" Mrs Patmore knew that she wasn't a clever woman, but when her mind latched onto something it became a bit of an issue. Now her thoughts had her worried.
"Do a Lady Mary? How crass. That was a little different," Anna chided angrily. "You never know, it might have gone well and she's just lost track of time. Or as you said, she got so caught up in everything and didn't realise that you were here. It wouldn't have been intentional."
"I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to come out like that. I just don't think she can take the knock, you know? Now I think about it. When she left earlier she looked so worried. Mrs Hughes has always been so strong, she's 'eld me up more times than I can count. If I look at my life, she's probably the best friend I never thought I 'ad. Same for you. I just wonder if this is the real Achilles heel for her. We've seen her on her knees a few times this week, it's hard to leave it to pan itself out."
Anna nodded her head in agreeance and looked down at her hands momentarily as she thought about what Mrs Patmore was saying. "If she isn't here we can phone up the hospital and see if she's still there?"
Mr Bates looked at the two women and shook his head. "Has anyone even checked to see if she's in her room? Or see if she's come down?"
Thomas walked in and stared at them all stood around talking. "Who has come down where?" he said with a puzzled look. "And don't you all have something to be doing?"
Anna's eyes narrowed slightly at the pompous way that Thomas was talking. "Mrs Hughes. And I didn't think it was any of your business. We are in early, and Mrs Patmore is well ahead as you can see."
Thomas grinned, feeling quite content about the fact that he was going to get to tell them that he was in fact in charge. It always filled him with warmth when he was able to correct people or stand above them in the hierarchy of the house. Not that it happened very often. "Mrs Hughes won't be down any time soon. I'm running things for the moment."
"Ey?" Mrs Patmore said, turning back from pouring the tea and staring at Thomas with a shocked expression. "What do you mean she won't be down? And you running things for 'ow long?"
Thomas felt like it would be cruel to not give them the full picture, knowing that Mrs Hughes was going to be back down in just a few hours. It would be nice to let them think that he was going to be in charge a little longer than he was. It was the simple things that got him through his days after all. "I've been told she is taking some time off. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to start getting things ready. Is everything going ok for breakfast?"
Mrs Patmore and Anna exchanged a worried look between them, both of them coming to the same conclusion that Mrs Hughes would not take time off unless something wasn't right. "Have I ever not had breakfast ready on time, Mr Barrow?" Mrs Patmore said through pursed lips.
"Good good. I'll be back down in a short while." Thomas smiled, made eye contact with Bates and then turned on his heel and headed for the stairs. If he ever got to run a house, he wondered if this feeling would follow him.
"Oh my God. What's 'appened? Why is she takin' time off? This is all our fault" Mrs Patmore grabbed the cups and saucers, passing them to Bates and Anna who were looking at each other with worried eyes.
"It might be nothing," Anna said in a strained voice. "I mean, she might just be exhausted and not feeling too well."
"Or 'e's broken 'er heart!" Mrs Patmore went to walk towards the biscuit tin, feeling the pang of desire for something sweet to quench her worry. Then she realised that it was empty, she stopped in her tracks and rested both of her hands on the table. "What do we do?"
"After breakfast, when it quietens down a bit, we can go up and see if she's in her room. See if she's ok. It might be nothing!"
"Or it might be bloody somethin'. Oh, I can't wait for things to settle down. This isn't going to do my nerves or my waistline any good." Mrs Patmore grabbed a cloth off the side and began to wipe at things half-heartedly, her mind going through all the different things that could be amiss. It had dawned on her more and more as the moments went by that Mrs Hughes was very dear to her as a friend. Although their conversations sometimes were fleeting, caught up in the hustle and bustle of the day, the time they did spend talking and helping each other had made her feel like she had a companion. Not in a way that would be improper, but as friends. They were both on the same page, both of them single and working into old age at a ferocious pace. Mrs Patmore hoped that her friend was ok. It would break her heart to see that she wasn't. She had seen her be affected by the things going on in the recent days, but if Carson had denied her then it would be the icing on the cake. It would also mean she would look at Mr Carson in a slightly different view. He was a good man, a proper man, but potentially he would be misguided and clouded by his devotion to the family. They were a good family, of course they were, she had her sight and her job as proof, but they were just an employer. The love of a woman like Mrs Hughes was not something that should be overlooked because of the loyalty of someone that paid you a wage. Whatever it was, she would do her best to make sure that Mrs Hughes would be ok. Maybe she could make her something nice?
Robert blinked ferociously as he tried to focus on the roof of his bed, the light from the newly-risen sun beginning to fill the room. Although he felt like he could sleep for a week at the moment, he still couldn't help but wake with the rising sun. A few months ago he had suggested that they get thicker curtains in the room so that it would remain dark that little while longer. Robert loved sleep very much. If he was lucky he could doze before nodding back off properly to give him another hour or so to get a little more sleep. It was different if they were both awake, as then he would have someone to talk to, and they would snuggle up until their life would mean they would have to leave the haven of their bed.
As he lay there, staring up at the yellow-gold canopy, he could feel something pressed against his side. As he stretched out his fingers he could make out the hand of his wife. Carefully and delicately, he placed his hand under Cora's and laced his fingers between hers. The skin on her hands was soft, never having to do anything in her life to upset the delicate nature of her skin, and they were warm. As he gave her hand a little squeeze, he felt her thumb twitch against his and he turned his head to look at her.
Cora was curled up in a ball on her side, he could tell by the outline of her body under the covers, and her other hand was propped just millimetres from his head. When she was sleeping she would often rest one of her hands under head, but clearly, this one had escaped. Gently shifting his body so that he was resting on his side, he moved his head a little closer so his cheek was resting against her upturned fingers. Having her close made him smile, and he shifted his body a few centimetres so that he was as close as he could be without disturbing her. It wasn't the first time he had watched her sleep. Something was comforting about doing it, seeing her peaceful and carefree as she slept. Robert wasn't stupid, and he knew that the whole ordeal of losing Sybil, Matthew and then watching her daughter vanish into the night had had some impact on her. That's why he had been allowing her to steer him to bed each night and allowed her to give him that bit of extra care because he knew that she was worried about him too. He was tired, of course he was tired, he wasn't as young as he used to be, but he was fine in himself. When they were sat downstairs he would catch her staring at him with a wide-eyed worry, and it wouldn't be long until she stated that they were off to bed. Robert didn't mind going to bed earlier than he usually did, because he enjoyed being in her presence. When they were alone it allowed a lot of the worry of the world outside to evaporate, even if it was momentarily.
Robert sighed quietly and reached up with his hand to move a stray hair behind her ear. When he thought about the night gone by, he remembered that he had woken up to find her crying with her face in her hands. The feeling of seeing that as soon as he was awake was gut-wrenching and shocking. Cora was strong. She was so much stronger than a lot of people, including his Mama, realised. She was forever making sure that everything and everyone was fine. As new things came her way, she would always try to understand them and would do what she thought was best for her children and her family. Of course, some of the ways that she did things wasn't exactly uniform to the way an English person would, but it didn't matter. Robert loved her for everything that she was, and everything she had enriched his life with. It still troubled him though, to have seen her so upset. It left a niggling feeling in the pit of his stomach, reminding him of the tension that enveloped them after the loss of Sybil. There had been many times during that age when he had found her crying. On the outside, in front of other people, she had seemed cold and angry. Behind closed doors, he had seen the cracks, and it had taken a while for her to let him back in there so he could try and patch them up. Cora wasn't naturally fragile, but he wondered if the whole mess that they had found themselves in had meant that the cracks had begun to reappear. Whatever it was, he would keep an eye on her, give her a little more reassurance when he thought she needed it.
Robert gently placed his hand on her cheek, smiling as he did and moving his body even closer so he could feel the warmth radiating from her body. "I love you," he whispered, before moving his head so he could kiss her hand.
The fingers on her hand twitched, and he looked down to see her eyes begin to blink sleepily open. "Did I wake you?" he said quietly, moving his arm so he could wrap it around her so his hand was on her back.
Cora straightened out her legs and moved closer as he pulled her body towards him. "No," she cooed sleepily, nestling her head in under his chin as she took in a deep breath. "I've been on and off for a while."
"You looked sound asleep to me," Robert smiled playfully as he kissed her on the forehead.
"I feel exhausted. I don't think I've had more than 4 hours in total." Cora yawned and ran her hands up his back. "Can we just stay in bed all day?"
"Don't tempt me," Robert said dryly, enjoying the feeling of her hands moving up and down his back. "Let's just stay in bed a bit later today. I have to go down to the hospital later this afternoon."
Cora lifted her head with a puzzled expression. "What for? To see Mary?"
Robert felt her squeeze his body tightly, her cool nose burrowing into his neck as she settled herself against him. These were the moments that he loved. The days where they would sleep separately were always frightfully cold and empty. The solace from just sheets around him was in no way a comparison to the warmth and presence of the person that he loved with all his heart. "Well, actually, it's Carson I wanted to see. I haven't seen him yet, and I want to thank him." Robert had been so caught up in everything that he hadn't been down to see the butler yet. Not only did he want to shake his hand, but he also wanted to give him a proper thank you in person. Part of him wanted to wait until he was back in the house, but given the unpredictability of life and the increased realisation that things could change at any minute, it made sense to do it sooner rather than later. Getting caught up in the simple daily tasks was not enough of an excuse to not shake the hand of the man that saved his daughter. He was sure that things transpired on that night that he was not aware of. The chances were that his daughter would have been stubborn, and Carson would have had to work the magic that he had developed over time with her. Robert knew that Carson held a position of favour with his daughter, and it had never bothered him. There would be some people that would develop a streak of jealousy over the fact that their daughter would frequently turn to another man. Robert was not like that, he understood the subtle differences between the love of a Father and the love of someone else. He was just glad that after everything, other people cared for her as he did. There was no malice, no ill-intent, just loyalty to her that did not falter. A war was better fought with an army, and sometimes the general had to acknowledge that the power wasn't always in his hands and that it was a joint effort.
"That's nice. I think it won't be long until they're both back though. I believe Carson is on top form. I'll come down with you and see Mary." Cora moved her head back from his neck and kissed his jaw gently.
"I'm looking forward to it returning to normal. I've noticed that everyone seems so strained downstairs. They're walking around looking so stretched and focused. It's strange. It doesn't feel right. I always thought that we were good employers, but they don't seem very happy at the moment. Mrs Hughes is beginning to look a little done in. I think perhaps we should give her a few hours off to give herself a bit of rest. I'm sure Barrow can hold the fort, it's not as if there's much going on at the moment." Robert let out a puff of air and adjusted his feet so that they were intertwined with hers, feeling the coolness of her toes. It always made him wonder why her feet were always colder than his, and if he was feeling a little stuffy he would use them to cool him down. Either that or he would stick one foot out from under the covers.
"Don't let your Mama hear you say that. I don't think she would agree that it's about being a good employer, and more that they have to do their job above all things. Anyway, I have sorted it, darling," Cora sniffed, nuzzling back into Robert's neck a little closer.
"I daresay it would be frightfully stressful working for Mama. I know they have a job to do, and that's what they're here for and what we pay them for, but I always feel that if they're happier, they do a better job. You can tell when they're happy. I hope that makes sense and means I don't come across as being soft." Robert reached for the cover and pulled it further up towards his chin, tucking Cora in around the edges to make sure that she was nice and warm.
Cora squeezed him. "You are soft. I love that about you."
"I hope you don't mean literally. It's hard enough to keep the weight away as it is. I wouldn't want you going off me for being a human cushion." The tone in his voice was playful.
Cora poked him playfully. "I love that you're my human cushion. It makes it even better for me to lie on you. Nobody wants to feel bone under their cheek."
"I don't know whether to feel offended or happy," he said with an element of mocked annoyance. "I'll take the latter and run with it. I keep thinking I should go out walking more with Isis to stop her getting soft too. Anyway. What did you mean you'd sorted it with Mrs Hughes?"
Cora yawned, feeling her eyes begin to feel tired again. "I told you I didn't sleep too well last night. I got up and bumped into Mrs Hughes and told her to take a few hours off in the morning. Thomas is taking care of things for a few hours."
"Do you think we've pushed her too hard?" Robert mumbled unhappily, trying to think about the things he had gotten her to do over the previous days. It hadn't seemed all that much to him, but maybe he had been blind to it.
"No, I think it's been easier at the moment. Fewer people in the house, we've all been distracted and less picky. It seems more than that, although I can't put my finger on it. I just feel like we owed her some time." Cora inhaled contently and adjusted her head so that it lay flat against his upper chest, moving her hand so that it was on his arm. As she grabbed it, she lightly rubbed it up and down to soothe his worry.
"Yes, well, it'll all be fine," Robert paused to go over their conversation. "Are you ok? It's not like you to be this restless?"
Cora sighed. "I'm ok. The dream just rattled me," she lied. "It all felt so real, and then I couldn't get it out of my head. I think I just need a little bit more sleep to catch up."
Robert kissed the top of her head again. "Good. I do worry about you sometimes."
"Oh, shhh, you. I don't want you to worry. I'm the one that should be worrying. I have been trying to keep an eye on you I have to admit."
"Yes, I know you have," Robert smiled. "We are a pair, aren't we? As long as we are both ok though?"
"Exactly." Cora yawned again and moved her hand up to his neck, where she leant her hand against it gently. "Oh, a few more hours would be perfect."
"Then a few more hours we shall have, my darling," Robert cooed, shifting his body down and taking her with him. They were both intertwined together, feeling the warmth of each other as they both happily closed their eyes. Robert waited a little while, his head resting against hers as she moved up and down with his breathing. After a short while, he could hear and feel the elongated puffs of air on his chest, signalling that she had fallen back to sleep. After a short while, her breathing continuing in its rhythmic fashion, he closed his eyes with a smile on his face. There was nothing better than having her so close. Absolutely nothing.