New Sidekick
Voldemort's snake Nagini wanted a mate to procreate with, so Voldemort went to Diagon Pet Shop to pick one out. Otacon, the shop owner, led Voldemort around the shop. They went past the cages of Sonic the hedgehog, Obese the cat, Star the fox, Revolver the ocelot and Crash the bandicoot. Ganon the pig was actively trying to escape from his cage, so he was put in the preheated oven for 30-35 minutes or until golden brown. In the far corner of the shop, there was a pit with three snakes in it. Their names were Solid, Liquid and Naked. "Friends, which of you will hiss the most pleasantly?" Voldemort asked in parseltongue. The snakes all competed for his attention. In the end Voldemort chose Solid, because its hiss was manly, and he couldn't actually see where Naked was. Voldemort left the shop with Solid the snake wrapped around his neck. Then, to eliminate the competition, he used the spell "Alteffour" to close the shop. After that Nagini snuck inside and ate all the staff and animals.
So sad.