CHAPTER 20: A LIFE STILL PERMANENT

PERCY

Over the next week or so, Annabeth and I worked non-stop on carrying out dozens of reconnaissance operations regarding the information we'd gleaned from Parker. We had little success—all of SPQR's bases were well-hidden, strong, and pretty much impenetrable without a single helping hand on the inside. I wasn't surprised that the New York branch had never uncovered their existence before now. Our squads worked in tandem to complete surveillance missions around them, hoping to discover a weakness, but everything that we found out only cemented our suspicions that taking down SPQR in a controlled manner was damn near impossible. Blood would be spilled. I was sure of it.

Since I'd arrived in New York, I'd tried to stay in contact with everyone back in Paris. Of course, I had to send Sir a report at the end of each week that detailed the progress we'd made in order to keep him in the loop, but he wasn't the only one. Reyna had been relentless with her phone calls, which I was grateful for, though our rambling, late-night conversations were probably sending my phone bill through the roof.

Jason and I had also spoken a few times, and he'd updated me on the base's strained atmosphere and Sir's growing moodiness. Things were falling apart over there. Apparently, Jason had been dragged into the ring on fight night; his death pool bounty had been slowly getting higher and higher due to Cupid's interference. He'd managed to duck out with only a split lip and a black eye, but that didn't reassure me. I'd been hoping that Cupid's stint in hospital would cause the animosity from his allies towards Jason to dissipate, but it hadn't.

The only good thing Grace had told me was that he'd been to Versailles several times to visit Piper in rehab, like I'd asked him to. She'd been reserved and cold in her calls with me which had been worrying at first, but Jason had reassured me that she was doing better. "When I first went over," he'd said, voice crackly over the phone, "she was kind of bitter and rude about me being there, but I don't think she minds my company. At least she's been, you know, smiling more. Talking about her future."

From the ardent way Jason spoke about Piper, it was easy to wonder if there was something between them. Or if there might be soon. Time would tell. To be honest, I was just glad that Piper had someone other than myself in her corner now that Roxanne was gone. That loss was still raw and bleeding for both of us.

Friday rolled around. It was late and I was lying on my stomach on my bed with my laptop in front of me, thinking about having a cigarette. I'd been trying to sleep but my thoughts were occupied by our ongoing reconnaissance operation. My stepdad had been after me for as long as I'd been on the run, and my last survival instincts were screaming at me to pack a bag and take the first flight back to Paris. Still, I had to see this through. Anyway, there wasn't a chance in hell I was leaving Annabeth. She'd been the first person in a long time to give me a sense of hope, however slight.

I closed my laptop, plunging my room into darkness save for the wisps of moonlight curling in from between my blinds. I pulled a hoodie and some socks on, intending to step out onto my balcony for a few minutes for a smoke. Suddenly, I was interrupted by a knock on my door. Wondering who was here so late at night, I padded to the door and opened it. To my surprise, Annabeth was standing there.

It'd been a few days since she'd moved to our base as it was just more convenient for our mission. Her curly hair was in a messy low ponytail, draped over her bare shoulder. She was barefoot and wearing only an oversized t-shirt and cotton shorts. I'd long decided that there was something ethereal about Annabeth in pyjamas. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. "Uh, hi."

She was smiling, brimming with excitement. "Percy. I'm sorry to wake you, but this is important. One of our agents has managed to pay off an SPQR recruit to submit to questioning in exchange for his protection from Ugliano's wrath. He gave us a lot of useful information. Most of it we knew already, thanks to the captives we interrogated, but he also told us the location of SPQR's most recent diplomatic hideouts where Ugliano makes his more classified deals."

My brain wasn't working fast enough this late at night, and it took me a moment to process what she'd said. "Wait. Slow down. A diplomatic hideout?"

Annabeth nodded. "Yeah. It's a tiny building in Astoria, Queens. No one in the New York branch has ever looked at it twice but apparently it's actually a hotspot for gang activity."

I folded my arms, nodding slowly. "Okay. But why's all this so useful?"

"Well, our informant told us that Ugliano has some sort of gathering planned in an illegal speakeasy that's hidden beneath the building, and that he intends to use it to garner alliances from gangs all over New York."

"If he succeeds in pitting most of the underground powers in the city against us, we're fucked."

"I know. Our informant didn't know much more about it except the date: February 27th."

I stared at her. "But that's in two days."

"It's enough time," Annabeth said. She then glanced back down the hallway, raising a brow. "Can I come in? It feels weird to do this in the hallway."

Realising I probably should've invited her in as soon as she'd shown up, I quickly stepped back, rubbing my neck sheepishly. "Sorry, yeah. Come in, I'll make you a coffee." I turned the light on and started boiling some water as Annabeth closed the door behind us. She sat down on the foot of my bed and waited while I finished the coffee, pouring it into a white mug. "Do you want milk in it?"

"No, thanks." She took the mug from me, careful not to burn her hand on the hot ceramic.

"Can we talk on the balcony, if that's alright?" I asked. "I was about to go for a fag."

"Yeah, sure." Before I knew it, she'd stepped outside. I grabbed my box of cigarettes from the pocket of my jacket and hurried after her, grabbing a throw blanket off my bed for Annabeth.

She was leaning against the railing, and judging by the goosebumps rippling across her arms, she was already cold. Leaving the screen door open an inch so we could get back in, I offered her the blanket. It was made of soft, heavy wool. "Here."

She took it, smiling up at me. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it," I replied. I lit a cigarette, leaning against the metal railing. "So, the 27th? We'll be hard-pressed to get much organised before then."

Annabeth adjusted the blanket so it completely covered her shoulders and blew on the surface of her coffee. "I know, but this is our best lead yet. This could be our chance to take down SPQR."

The smoke from my cigarette lingered, ghostly, in the brisk night air. Below us, the road was a cacophony of far-away car horns. The traffic lights were jarring in the darkness, spilling out their technicolour light. "So, what do you propose we do?" I asked.

"We'll go down there tomorrow morning," Annabeth said. "As soon as possible. We'll hide out somewhere in the building's vicinity and just note down anything we see. Hopefully Ugliano's forces will be hiding in plain sight."

I hummed, flicking the ash off my fag. "We need to find out more about the event that Gabe's intending to host in this hidden speakeasy. If we have any hope of crashing it, we'll need to work out how to slip in unnoticed."

"We have the element of surprise on our side," she mused. "There's no reason why SPQR would suspect that we've learned about this. And the gathering's probably under high security, so I figure Ugliano won't have a problem showing his face." She shook her head. "I just don't know how he's going to pull it off. If our informant was right about how many gangs will be in attendance, then they'll be practically spitting in each other's faces. Some rivalries run deep. I doubt they'll ever be united just by Gabe inciting an alliance against us."

I sighed. "There's no point in speculating until we know more. Guess it's an early start tomorrow."

Her face was unreadable. "Yeah. Guess so."

As I worked on my cigarette, Annabeth sipped away at her coffee. Her hands were curled around her mug for warmth, and I noticed that her nails were painted a dusty blue. "Nice colour," I said, gesturing to her nails.

"You like it? It'd been a while since I'd painted them, so I just thought..." She shrugged. "It's therapeutic."

"Maybe I should try it," I joked.

When no reply came, I glanced down at Annabeth. She was staring out at the city, an absent look on her face. Above us, a shaft of moonlight slipped past the cloud that'd been concealing it. It fell over us and caught on Annabeth's eyelashes, making them look silver. Almost transparent. Even if I had been able to look away, I wouldn't have wanted to. "Do you ever..." She shook her head. "Never mind."

"What?"

"It's not important."

"It is," I insisted.

Annabeth met my eyes, and I felt like I'd been wrenched out of orbit. She sighed, turning back to the city. "Do you ever think about leaving?"

I wasn't sure what to say to that. "Leaving? As in, running away?" I almost laughed. "That was kinda the last seven years of my life. Didn't turn out too good."

"No, I don't mean running away. I just meant..." She paused, frustration bleeding into her tone. "The dream of disappearing. A new identity, the freedom of nobody remembering your face. Being able to fuck off and start a new life far away from here."

This time, I really did laugh. My life had never been anything but temporary; every day on the streets had always had me longing for permanence. "If that was possible, of course I'd do it."

"Do you really mean that?"

"Well, yeah."

Annabeth's gaze scoured my face. "So you'd never see anyone you love ever again, just to leave your past behind?"

I stopped to think for a moment. Put like that, I wasn't sure if I would. Paris had been my home for a long time now, and the thought of never setting foot there again seemed insane to me. I couldn't just leave Piper in rehab and act like she'd never existed at all. Exhaling a final puff of smoke, I ground my cigarette butt into the ashtray on the railing. Annabeth was still looking at me, expectant. "I don't know," I said, relenting. "I would never choose this life, but that doesn't change the fact that it's my life." I stared at the rippling ash on the tray before me, then let out a hoarse laugh. "Anyway, it'd be kinda shitty of me to ditch you without saying goodbye."

I looked up to see Annabeth smiling at me. "You got that right, Jackson." She pressed a barely-there kiss to my cheek, but even that half-touch was a flyaway ember burning deep into my skin. With a sigh, she rested her head on my shoulder. "I'd quite like to leave, after all this. You and me. A one-way ticket, a change of clothes. See which gutter we end up in."

And hell, that sounded so close to heaven that I wanted to scream. I didn't want to fall into the fantasy, but the soft warmth of Annabeth leaning on my shoulder was doing things to my head. "Rome, maybe," I mused. "Or Crete. We could gorge ourselves on crappy tourist food, take some stupid photos."

"We could see the ruins of Aptera," Annabeth murmured. "The Coliseum. Go to Venice, travel the canals on a gondola."

"I don't know. Just staying alive sounds good to me."

Annabeth snuggled closer to me. "As long as we're together."

It was impossible. A pipe dream. I turned and pressed my nose into her hair, inhaling the smell of her lemon shampoo. Right now, everything could've been okay. Still, I knew I was only lying to myself. "We can't, though," I said carefully. "If I left, the last line of defence separating me from my stepdad would crumble away. Without Sir's protection, there'd be a bullet in my head before long." A lump was forming in my throat. "After this isn't possible. It doesn't exist. Not for us."

"But it could," Annabeth said. She pulled away, but only slightly. Her blanket was starting to slip, so I readjusted it so she wouldn't get cold. "Percy. Look at me." I did. "The whole point of this mission is to topple SPQR. If we do, you'll be free."

Her words fell on deaf ears. I shook my head, knowing hope was a futile concept. "No. No. As long as he's alive—"

"He won't be for much longer," Annabeth said, gaze fierce as anything. "Not if I have anything to do with it."

"Annabeth—"

She grabbed my hand, all gentleness gone from her expression. I had to look down, fixing my eyes on where the twisted scars on my knuckles disappeared under her slim fingers. "Percy. You don't need to be afraid anymore. You're stronger than him; you always have been."

"I'm not."

"You are. You are. God—" Her voice cracked. "I promise you, we will kill him. He deserves to be dead."

My consciousness was whirling with a thousand unquiet thoughts. I couldn't think. "When I was a kid, you have no idea how often I wanted that to be true." My voice was small, smaller than I wished it was. I half-expected tears to start crying or something, but instead the blank vacuum in my chest felt even more vast and gaping. Everywhere was numb, from my lungs to my icy fingertips.

"That he was dead?" Annabeth asked. Not patronising, just trying to make sense of the world in the way she always did.

"That he deserved to be," I replied quietly.

Anger tore across Annabeth's face, a flash of lightning. "What? Percy, he does. You know that." She paused. "Right?"

In that moment, I felt more vulnerable than I ever had in my entire life. I pushed away the feeling, making myself go on. "When I was younger," I started, "I believed in God. And I know it sounds stupid, but I just kept hoping that...that He would intervene. Because Gabe deserved it, right? He hurt my mom. He hurt me. I thought that God might make him, I don't know, die in his sleep or something. But..." I shrugged. "When it never happened, I had to question if he really deserved to be dead at all."

Annabeth didn't falter, didn't let go of my hand. Instead, she gripped it tighter. An anchor. When she spoke, her voice was firm and unwavering. "If I could go back in time, I'd make sure he never laid a fucking finger on you or your mom."

"But you can't."

"I know," she said. Those two words sounded like echoes. "Doesn't stop me from wanting to." She returned her head to where it had been on my shoulder. I sagged slightly, breathing in her presence like it was oxygen.

"When this mission's over," I said suddenly, "will you get to go back to Paris?"

"I hope so," she said. "All I know is that wherever you are is where I want to be."

Affection washed over me. I lifted her hand to kiss her knuckle, smiling into her skin. She tilted her head up to mine. Cupping my jaw with her other hand, she leaned in to brush her lips against my own. I responded in kind, kissing her harder. My hand found the nape of her neck as we folded into one another, caught up in the perfection of it all. When we finally broke apart, each new breath threatened to fail me. "Kind of wish we could do that all the time," I said.

Annabeth looked almost as overwhelmed as I felt. She grinned. "We'd never get anything done."

"Who cares?"

"I care," she replied, but her amused expression said otherwise. Unwilling to stop myself, I leaned down one more time to place another quick kiss on her lips. "Percy," she laughed, pushing me away.

"What? It's not like you mind," I said, smiling.

"That's not the problem." She rolled her eyes, pulling the blanket tighter around herself.

Realising I was cold too, I nodded to the door. "You wanna go in?"

"Definitely. I can't feel my toes."

We went inside, Annabeth quickly finishing her coffee. I closed the screen door with a click, letting out a relieved sigh. Annabeth clasped her cold hands together, blowing on them. Carefully, I took hold of her hands and rubbed them quickly between my own to create warmth with the friction. The corner of Annabeth's mouth quirked as she watched me.

Satisfied, I let go. "Better?"

"Better," she murmured.

"Do you feel like watching something?" I asked, grabbing my laptop and sitting heavily down on my bed. "I don't think I'm tired enough to sleep yet."

"Yeah, sure." She sat next to me, curling into my side.

I opened Netflix. "What do you want to watch?"

She shrugged. "A movie? Something easy."

I put on The Breakfast Club and settled down into Annabeth as 'Don't You (Forget About Me)' started playing. "Have you seen it before?" I asked, getting up to turn off the lights.

"A few times. I loved it when I was younger."

"Same," I said. "It was my mom's favourite."

Annabeth didn't reply, only pressed a kiss to my cheek as I sat back down before returning her eyes to the screen.

It went on for a while, and we both drifted asleep a couple of times before startling awake. It was late by the time the end credits finally rolled around. Annabeth started to get up, albeit reluctantly. I pulled her back down by her wrist, evoking a laugh from her. Her body was warm against my own, and my world became nothing but Annabeth, Annabeth, Annabeth on a background of hazy radio interference. "I have to go," she said. "Have you seen what time it is?"

The clock on my bedside table read 01:57 in glowing blue digits. I pouted. "Stay? We're heading into Queens tomorrow morning together anyway."

She gave me a dry look. "Percy—"

"Come on." I tugged her down again.

She huffed, giving in. "Fine. But you better not hog the blanket." She nestled down beside me, blonde hair tickling my face.

I tucked it behind her ear and gave her a lingering kiss. "Love you."

"Shut up," she mumbled, but failed to hide her smile. Her fingertips were gentle on my cheek as I kissed her again.

I really can't believe we've hit the twentieth chapter! this was a short one, but get ready for lots of action ahead :) as always, I'm so grateful to everyone who's been reading, especially to reviewers! y'all are angels xx