It was already December. It made Historia wonder how time managed to slip through her fingers and make her end up in the current position she was in. If someone were to tell her, on the first day she met Ymir, that she would develop a fragile meaningful relationship with her, and she'd be by her side with open arms, ready to take her in after all the trauma Historia went through, she'd laugh in distaste. She'd think it was a joke. The fact it wasn't made it a terrifying reassurance. There was a life outside of Porco. She still had life inside her.

While Historia knew the holidays were upon them, and "Christmas cheer" was decorated all over town, she felt more nervous and apprehensive. She felt undeserving. Historia thought all these good things would lead to one single and life-altering brutal event. Her blue eyes drifted, outside the car window and her grip tightened on the handle as a familiar restaurant came into sight. What if this was the bad thing. Where everything would go down. Where life would rip away the brief comfort it had offered her and drown her once again in misery. Fear bubbled inside her, threatening to overflow and she was tempted to shrivel up and scream. She didn't want this to be taken away. Not yet. Not now. Not ever.

"Historia," Ymir's voice startled her out of her thoughts and the panic inside subsided. Suddenly she was floating above the surface again and there was Ymir, awkward smile and freckles, waiting for her. Historia's external appearance was calm and focused, showing no hint of her emotions. Historia tossed her head to the side, offering a small smile of acknowledgment. "How's your holiday trivia? Think you're going to kick our asses?"

Historia laughed lightly. A tickle in her throat. "Maybe."

"Where should I set my expectations for you, sweetheart?"

"What do you want to expect?"

Ymir hummed, her fingers drumming on the steering wheel. It was one of those rare occasions when Ymir decided to actually drive her car, outside of work, of course. Usually, Ymir took Historia on walks if they were to go somewhere, in an attempt for the blond to get fresh air and exercise her legs. "I think you're being humble. Secretly you're a trivia goddess, a master at the game. And you're going to show everyone who's boss."

"Huh, well now I am afraid I am going to disappoint you."

"Nah, you won't," Ymir said. A gleam in her golden eyes, she grinned. Historia felt her mouth go dry. All thoughts in her mind disappearing as she found herself delving into Ymir's charm. When Historia couldn't muster a reply, Ymir continued on. "It's alright, no matter if you win or lose, it's just a game. We're just here to have fun. Simple enough."

"Yeah," Historia fidgeted, her eyes drifting as the car pulled in. "It's nice to have fun."

For a few moments, the two of them sat there. The car hummed as it sat patiently. Then with a breath of air, Ymir turned her key and placed it in her pocket. "Go on in there without me, I am going to stay here and smoke a cigarette real quick."

Historia turned at her. She almost forgot that the brunette smoked. But maybe she was just used to the faded scent of cigarettes that always clung onto Ymir's clothes. Historia had grown accustomed to it being Ymir's scent. A comfort if anything. Historia couldn't even remember the last time she had seen Ymir smoked. As if the freckled woman was purposely trying not to smoke around her. Her lips quirked slightly. She had no doubt that Ymir was doing that specifically for her. Historia appreciated that.

With a nod, she stepped out of the car, leaving Ymir alone to light her cigarette. Her legs carried her towards the front door of the restaurant. She could see through the glass frame the festive decorations and the people in there. They were all laughing and smiling. Enjoying their time. As her eyes drifted, she ended spotting Sasha and Connie. Connie was going on about something while the pregnant woman seemed to be losing her mind as he told his story. Historia watched for a moment, her mind suddenly racing. She had left without a word. She didn't tell Sasha goodbye. Would she be mad? Historia would be mad too if she was her. Maybe Sasha wouldn't want to be friends anymore. It wouldn't be the first time Historia had just disappeared without a word.

Before her anxiety could get the best of her though, Sasha's warm eyes managed to find Historia's and everything was suddenly a blur. The front door opened, a bell chiming in reply. Arms wrapped tightly around her and an excited squeal greeted her ears. Historia returned to hug after she processed it and felt herself relax.

"I'm sorry…" She couldn't help but let the words slip out. Guilt weighing her stomach down.

Sasha pulled away from Historia and offered a puzzled smile. "For what? There's nothin' to be sorry for."

Historia looked at her, blinking sadly. Then, shaking her head, she chuckled lightly and hugged Sasha again. The other woman gladly accepted and then tugged at Historia's hand, leading her inside.

It was warm inside and the scent of cinnamon and peppermint clung in the air, really matching the holiday theme. Instrumental Christmas music played on a speaker near the stage, blending fluidly with eager chatter. Lights strung themselves around the room, around door frames, looping from the ceiling and wrapping themselves around unused furniture.

"Historia!" Connie perked, his smile was broad. "It's nice to see you again!"

"You too, Connie," She replied with a polite nod. She took a seat beside Sasha. They sat at a tall small round table with stools. Connie was nursing on alcoholic eggnog and Sasha was sipping on some sort of fruity drink.

"Where's Ymir?" Nicolo approached the three of them, his hair groomed neatly back. He offered Historia a drink who kindly accepted. "Also, hello, it's been a while. How are you, Historia?"

"I'm fine," Historia replied, with her tone conveying enough truth. Life has been more fine than for a decent amount of time now. It was refreshing to actually tell the truth for once. "And Ymir-, well she's right over there."

Ymir walked inside with another brunette beside her. He was talking to Ymir with familiarity, making Historia realize that he must be the friend Ymir had mentioned before. Ymir's eyes lit up when she spotted the group of them, sending electricity to buzz through Historia's veins. Something about that look made Historia feel happy.

"Historia," Ymir said, walking up to them. "This is Eren, my best friend. Eren, this is Historia."

"Best friend, huh?" The man said teasingly then looked at Historia with sharp green eyes. Offering a hand, he smirked and winked. "I heard a lot about you, Historia. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Eren," Historia shook his hand. "And I always thought Ilse was Ymir's best friend."

"Nah, I knew Ymir waaaaay before Ilse," Eren told Historia. "Ilse just likes to make it seem that way."

"Ilse likes to make a lot of things seem more than what they are, but I will admit she's also my best friend, just not my only one," Ymir interjected with an eye roll. "Anyways, let's not talk about her, she isn't even here."

"Only if those rules applied when she talked about you," Historia directed towards Ymir with a grin. "You two should probably talk about that."

Ymir flushed, scratching the back of her head and narrowed her eyes at Historia. "Now I am worried about what she has told you."

"Maybe she didn't tell me anything," Historia said sing-songy. "Maybe she did."

"Hah," Eren lifted a hand to smack Ymir's back then smiled at the blond woman. "If you really wanna know some embarrassing stuff, just come to me, Historia. I know the good stuff."

Historia laughed, noticing how Ymir's expression dropped in disbelief and shock. "You will have to tell me when we get a moment alone."

"I'm not going to let that happen," Ymir growled, breaking out of her daze and intervening. "I am starting to think that introducing the two of you was a bad idea."

"Nah," Eren reassured with a clever look at his face. "It really is nice to finally meet Historia." His sharp green eyes met Historia's blue orbs.

Ymir snorted. "So, where's your wife?"

"She never had any intentions of tagging along. Mikasa's at home with Carly."

"Your daughter?" Historia asked.

"Yeah, my daughter, she's an angel. And Ymir absolutely adores her."

"Who wouldn't?" Ymir shrugged nonchalantly.

"I didn't expect you to be good with kids, Ymir."

A light of intense emotion flickered in her golden orbs for a moment before it cooled. Ymir feigned an offended expression. "I certainly don't hate kids. What made you think that?"

"I never implied that."

"Ymir's a real softie for children," Eren chimed in. His grin never left his face. He then started as he realized the company that sat at the table, watching them with amusement. "Oh, hey guys!"

"Hey y'all," Sasha greeted Eren and Ymir. She then gestured towards the two men that were present, "This is my best friend, Connie and my lovely husband and owner of the restaurant, Nicolo."

"Greetings, would you two like some drinks?" Nicol4 asked politely.

"What's the owner doing waiter jobs for?" Eren commented then offered his thanks. "A beer, please."

Ymir looked at Nicolo for a moment, opening her mouth to speak before she paused. She grimaced for a moment, lost in thought. Historia's eyes managed to catch hers and the need for approval was there. A little surprised, the blond gave a subtle nod meant only for the freckled woman. On cue, Ymir ordered a beer of her own and Nicolo walked off.

"He just wants to keep an eye on me," Sasha told Eren with an eye roll.

"Ah, you're expecting, congratulations!" Eren stared at Sasha's stomach for a moment with warmth in his eyes. Flicking away, he offered a hand towards Connie to shake it and started to converse with the two.

Ymir slipped in beside Historia while her own best friend chatted with Historia's old friends. Her hand lightly pressed against Historia's shoulder before retreating to her side. Leaning forward a bit, Ymir spoke. "I am assuming everything went well."

"It did," Historia nibbled on her bottom lip. "So, you're good with kids?"

"Why is that a surprise?" Ymir snorted. Her eyebrows knitted momentarily, and the same intense emotion shadowed her features briefly. Historia couldn't help but feel curious about why Ymir reacted that way. Why she looked so conflicted at the mention. Of course, the expression fleeted as soon as it arrived and it left Historia wondering.

Historia chuckled, her hand reaching to squeeze Ymir's bicep. "No, I didn't mean for it to come off like that. It's just, interesting, I guess. But a good interesting, if anything, I like that. That's a good thing to know about you." She was aware of how she awkwardly fumbled over her words but she couldn't help it. That was just the best way to say what she felt.

"Oh, really?" Ymir hummed, staring at Historia with a slight tilt of her head. The way her eyes narrowed in an attentive way and her gold eyes swirling with a flame of desire. Historia couldn't help but swallow as her mouth became dry. She withdrew her hand from Ymir. "What about you? What do you think about children?"

Historia pressed her lips together, her fingers interlocking with their counterparts. "I never gave it much thought," Historia replied honestly. Her and Porco had never talked about that certain subject when their romantic life was lighter. And then kids were definitely out of question the moment he violently laid hands on her. Having kids had never been on her list of top priorities in the first place. She had entertained the thought maybe once or twice but never explored it. She didn't really have experience with children either. Maybe a few times when she lived with her father for a month. She had younger siblings. But her memory about them was fuzzy. She had been so young then. But suddenly, she remembered an encounter from a few months ago. She was eating a donut on a park bench when a little boy had been watching her eat. Franz Jr. The way his look had brightened up the moment he got his hands on sweets. Or how he shyly thanked her. That had been maybe a little over an hour before she bumped into Ymir. "I don't know. Maybe? It sounds nice."

The freckled woman looked at her with a thoughtful expression. "It's fine. It doesn't really matter. Not like you plan on having children anytime soon. Well, if you do, then that might be a problem. I don't know if Ilse would be willing to give up her room for a baby."

Historia laughed. "I would never do that to Ilse...or you. Besides, I think that's the least of my interests right now."

"I sure hope so," Ymir scoffed lightly. "But if that's the case, what are your top interests at the moment? Hm?"

You. Immediately Historia flushed, thankful that she didn't utter that aloud. It surprised how the response was almost instinctive as if it was such a natural occurrence. She cleared her throat. "I….I'm not exactly sure."

"Well," Ymir said, leaning in slightly. "Historia, you got enough time to figure it out."

Historia held her gaze for a moment, feeling an overwhelming warmth in her chest. She wanted to say something, anything really, but she was at a loss of words.

Even if she attempted so, Sasha and Nicolo interrupted her thoughts. The two of them stood on the stage, smiles and all.

Sasha waited till everyone was quiet and then proceeded to explain about tonight's event. When she spoke at first, the crowd of people cheered her in greeting. Historia assumed that most of the people here were frequent customers and took fondly of the woman and her husband. After she went into an explanation, Nicolo asked for everyone to come towards them to draw a slip of paper from a bowl. Whatever number you drew would determine what team you were in. There were four teams. Historia hoped she would land herself on Ymir's.

While waiting in line, Historia stood with Ymir and Eren. Eren was chatting lightly with the two of them before someone called his name and caught his attention.

"Well, well, well," The stranger, who had familiarity in his tone, smirked at Eren. His light ash brown hair was styled in an undercut. Beside him, a black-haired man stood beside him, smiling politely. "Look who it is."

"Ah, Jean, you're here," Eren said with a smirk of his own. "And who's this?"

Before Jean could open his mouth to reply, the man stepped forward, offering his hand. "I'm Marco, his husband."

Eren's eyebrows raised with surprise but he smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you, so you're the one who keeps him in check, huh?"

Marco laughed, his tone bright and light-hearted. "I try my best. It's finally nice to meet you. I heard so much about you."

While the men talked to each other, Historia took a step closer to Ymir. "Who's Jean?"

"Hm?" Ymir pulled her gaze away from them and looked at Historia. "Jean? He's Eren's co-worker, they don't normally get along. Always arguing over everything. I wouldn't say they're enemies though but also not friends."

"So frenemies?"

"Eh, I guess," Ymir shrugged. "Hey, are you hoping as much as me that we'll get the same team?"

"Are you saying that because you like me or because you don't want me to kick your butt?" Historia teased, poking Ymir's side.

"Maybe both," Ymir hummed, then her tone shifted to a more serious note, she added. "Probably more of the first part."

Historia inhaled sharply, her heart skipping a beat. It shouldn't have caught her off guard but it did. Those words meant a lot. More than anything else. Yeah, she was heading towards something new, the feeling her chest leaving no room for doubt.

She didn't have time to really contemplate as her turn came to pick up a slip of paper. Nicolo sent a friendly wink as she took a piece and Historia just offered a nod in reply. When Ymir grabbed her slip, the two of them stepped off to the side and showed each other's drawn number.

"Well, it looks like I'll be going against you," Ymir sighed dramatically, rubbing the back of her neck.

"I will try to go easy on you," Historia laughed, earning a grin from Ymir.

Nicolo and Sasha divided the room for each team to stand on a certain side. When everyone got situated, Historia ended up on a team with Eren, Marco, a woman she recognized as Hitch and a man named Samuel. Ymir was placed with Jean, Sasha, Connie and a woman known as Sandra.

"So, I finally get a chance to talk to you, Superstar," Hitch wrapped an arm around Historia's shoulders and grinned. "You were an unexpected competition, but hey, My boyfriend and I will beat you next time."

Historia recalled her partner, Marlowe and scanned the room to see that he was on one of the other teams. "You two are good at singing."

"Yeah, well, we used to be the top-dogs before you showed up. It's usually a hassle to get Marlowe to sing but he's definitely great at it," Hitch said nonchalantly.

"How long have you two been together?"

"A few years, just waiting for him to put the ring on it," Hitch joked, her eyes finding Marlowe's from across the room. He smiled warmly at her and Hitch's features lightened with the expression of adoration. Pulling her attention back to Historia, she gestured her hand towards Ymir. "How about you two?"

"Oh, we're not together," Historia felt her cheeks redden and she shook her head.

Hitch's eyebrows rose with surprise. "Hm. Well, maybe you should get to that because when you two were singing together there was definitely chemistry there."

"Yeah?" Historia felt something pull inside her. And suddenly she was overwhelmed. Her blue eyes stared at Ymir as she watched the brunette started to bicker with Sasha, and somehow Jean. Both Connie and Sandra just stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do. Ymir had given her so much and Historia had hardly done anything in return. She knew Ymir cared and it felt like Historia could do anything by simply knowing that. This warmth inside her was more than anything she ever felt for Porco. It was new and powerful. Historia wanted to tell her about it. She wanted to thank her for everything. For being there. For caring for her. For not giving up on her. For not forgetting about her. Historia had a sudden urge, a desire to ki-...Oh.

…

So, Ymir's team definitely got their asses kicked. But Ymir would definitely say it wasn't entirely her fault, mostly Jean's. The brunette finally understood why Eren didn't get along with him well but with the mixture of Sasha, it was far worse than any bickering Eren's been in.

Eventually, their arguing got Connie involved, their teammate Sandra being the only one who managed to stay out of it who was then eventually extremely relieved when the game finally ended. While their arguing, for the most part, was nothing serious, mostly schoolyard taunts and insults, their incapability to get along was what led to them being the team to place last.

And like Ymir claimed, Historia was actually pretty knowledgeable when it came to holidays. Both Marco and Samuel also seemed to be walking encyclopedias for Christmas trivia too. They were definitely no match against them. Especially since Eren always made sure to aggravate and challenge Jean, causing the ash brown-haired man to rile up his team too.

"You guys are stupid!" Connie, this time, was the first to dish out a complaint towards his teammates. His simple remark led to an onslaught of insults back towards him. Surprisingly, the most brutal ones coming from his own best friend, Sasha.

Sandra, stood by the side with an awkward smile as Jean was about ready to pounce on Connie. She spoke up politely, "Come on, why can't we all get along?"

Getting a little caught up in the arguing, and making sure that Jean didn't actually start to fight Connie, Ymir didn't notice Historia sneaking up on her before it was too late.

Lightly jabbing Ymir's side, causing the freckled woman to jolt, Historia stated, "I didn't expect you to do that bad." She wore a Santa hat as a sign of her victory.

"Well, you would have been in the same situation if you had my teammates," Ymir took the hat off of Historia's head and put it on her own. Lifting her chin up, she feigned a royal tone. "But I now wear the crown, so it doesn't hurt as much."

"Hey, give it back," Historia bit the inside of her cheek, fighting off a smile as she tried to retrieve her hat back.

"Only if you can get it yourself, short stuff," Ymir teased with a smirk, feeling her chest bloom with adoration. She could tell that Historia was having a good time and Ymir would do anything in her power to keep Historia this relaxed. You're so pretty. She was. It was so obvious. And Ymir knew she wasn't the only one who noticed. She had seen how Samuel had sent admiring looks towards Historia. Hell, even some of the men here who she didn't know the name of, were sneaking glances. And while Ymir felt a smidge of jealousy, she knew Historia wasn't interested enough to indulge in the admirations.

While Ymir was practically losing herself in her thoughts and trying to keep Historia away from getting back her hat, Eren managed to swoop it off Ymir's head from behind.

"That's no way to treat one of the champions," Eren chided with a gleam in his green eyes. Giving back Historia's hat and patting the one on his head, he nudged Ymir playfully. "Sucks to have Jean as a teammate, huh?" He took a sip from the beer bottle he held in his other hand.

"He's not that bad," Ymir defended, feeling the need to stand up for her teammate. While most of the time they were determined to insult each other, Ymir had formed bonds with all her teammates. An even stronger bond with Sasha, now that she was aware that the pregnant brunette knew how to take a hit. "Besides, Historia and the others carried your ass, I hardly saw you contribute."

"Well," He spun around for a second, snatching another drink from the nearby table. Handing it to Ymir, he winked at Historia and held up his beer bottle. "Let's give our glorious champion a toast in celebration for her victory. Historia!"

"To Historia!" Ymir agreed, she could definitely drink to that.

The raise of their voices managed to grab the others' attention. Connie, Sasha, Nicolo, Marco, and Jean approached them and they raised a drink of their own with a grin. Sasha had an arm wrapped around Nicolo's while Marco stood closely to Jean. They all grinned with humor and enjoyment.

"To Historia!"

The mentioned blond flushed, a delighted smile on her face. "You guys are too much."

"We're just enough," Ymir placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly in a form of comfort as she took a drink. Historia raised her own hand and interlocked their fingers for a moment in response before dropping her arm and offering a shy look.

Yep, Ymir would definitely do anything to keep Historia this happy.

…

She doesn't remember the last time when there was a sway in her step that wasn't because her legs were battered. Her head felt light and her chest was bubbling. Historia giggled blissfully, managing to walk steadily past the front door of the restaurant without tripping. The cold night air hit her instantly, the warmth of inside fleeing back into the building. Safe and protected in the swarm of laughter and chatter.

"Had a little too much to drink?"

Ymir leaned against a corner brick wall, an alleyway separating the restaurant from the neighboring building. A wisp of smoke left through her lips. Ymir dropped a half-finished cigarette on the ground and smothered the light of it with her foot.

Historia giggled again, appreciating the fact that Ymir seemed determined to not smoke around her. Walking but also sort of stumbling, Historia reached her side. Gripping her arm to use as support, she leaned against her, shielding herself from the cold. "You're warm."

"And you're drunk," Ymir replied, her other arm raised to allow a hand to move hair away from Historia's face.

"Maybe a little." She closed her eyes, feeling a weight of exhaustion wrap itself around her body. Her head nodded as she felt unconsciousness latch onto her mind.

She doesn't know how long they stayed like that. Relishing each other's presence as a comfortable silence settled over them. Historia was sure this was the safest she ever felt. Clinging onto Ymir, her friends not far away and no longer fearful about a lurking figure around the corner.

"Hey, Historia?"

She hummed in reply, balancing between being awake and asleep. She shifted her head against Ymir's shoulder, her grip softening.

Ymir felt relaxed against Historia. She could still smell the scent of smoke on her but she didn't mind. "How long do you think you'll stay here, with me, in the apartment?"

"Forever," Historia mumbled honestly, her lips pressed against Ymir's jacket. Her body buzzed pleasantly as a subtle euphoric sensation prickled at her skin. "I...I don't wanna leave you."

"Forever?"

"Forever."

"Can I show you something?" Ymir asked.

The serious note in her tone made Historia open her eyes and lean her head upwards. Golden orbs stared back with a familiarity intensity that she had seen before. Taking a deep breath to clear her dizzy head, Historia moved her hand to interlock their fingers, the alcohol making her more straightforward. "Of course you can."

Ymir took her hand delicately and guided Historia to her car. Historia fumbled with the seat belt in the passenger seat as Ymir turned the vehicle on. They drove for a few minutes, Historia not paying attention to their surroundings. Her eyes stuck to Ymir's face. Her sharp jawline. Her slender neck. Her toned skin. Those concentrated eyes. The woman had a desire to reach out and touch her, to feel her skin against her fingertips. Fortunately or unfortunately, she was sober enough to not act out so intrusive. When Ymir parked the car by a curbside, Historia looked out the window. They were at an apartment complex, obviously not theirs. This place was far more significant. Much newer and well designed.

Ymir leaned back into her seat, her gaze somber as she looked at a certain apartment. Historia's followed to find what she stared at.

One window, alive with a warm glow of light. Two silhouettes casted themselves from behind the closed curtains. One was large and masculine while the other made the shape of a small child. The larger figure picked its companion up and offered a kiss to the cheek. She could almost hear the giggles that sprouted from the child's lips. The smaller silhouette disappeared as it was swooped down, in which Historia could only assume, to be put to bed. A few minutes passed by and then the light died. The scene over with.

Historia looked towards Ymir, her eyebrows furrowed.

Ymir stayed staring at the window, tears streaming down her cheeks and her lips quivering. The muscles in her neck twitched as her throat tightened.

"Ymir…"

Those gold eyes finally met hers and Historia felt something break inside her. A heartbroken look carved her features. And for a second, the life in her eyes died and Historia was taken back to the time when she first met Ymir. When she looked so sick and tired. When her eyes were dull and a haunted look hung over her face. When her smile could hardly reach her eyes. When she looked so grey, almost dead.

Ymir tilted her head to look downwards. "I...t-that's...I have a daughter."

The confession wrapped itself around Historia's mind. She couldn't help but sharply inhale.

"But I..I ended up losing her," Ymir continued, her expression hardening as the tears fell. "I was nothing compared to her father and my stupid ass decisions were what led to him winning custody. I miss h-her. So much...and I want...no, I need her back. She's the only thing I have ever done right but couldn't manage to keep her in my stupid f-fucking life, Historia." Ymir lifted her head and finally met Historia's eyes once again. There was an enraged intensity flaring in her orbs as determination and grief clashed against each other. "I...I...you mean a lot to me. I don't want to mess up again as I did with my daughter. Historia, you need to talk to me, dammit. I know something happened during that time. The time you left me. Someone destroyed you the same way this destroyed me. So, p-please tell me, just tell me who hurt you…"

Historia's version went blurry for a moment, she lifted her hands to scrub the tears away. A powerful pain pulsed in her body and suddenly the world around her darkened, leaving her and Ymir in a void left together. It was terrifying and new and emotional and intimate and Historia finally knew that this was the moment. She had to tell the truth now. Ymir opened up a door and now she was in her world. And all around them, in this darkness, large white figures surrounded them. Their eyes were as empty as voids. One clung onto Ymir, their phantom hands curled around her neck. Their presence weighed down on the taller woman, haunting her. These were her demons. Historia covered her mouth with both her hands, a sob breaking through her lips. She had to tell her, tell her that she was in pain, the same way Ymir was. That there was a dark mass in her mind that haunted her the same way Ymir's demons clung to her.

"I'm a bastard child," Historia started, her voice breaking. "No one had ever wanted me. My aunt only took me in because of pity. When I was finally old enough to leave, I did and I never looked back. Then...he...I m-met him. And I finally felt like somebody because he wanted me. I-I loved him so much and I thought he did too, I would like to think he did, at least before..before...he changed. I didn't know why until he told me when he was drunk this one time. He told me that he wanted money but he never explained why exactly, he was determined though but he never could become wealthy himself. I...I tried talking to him at first but he...he hit me and it never stopped after that. And I...and I lost hope, I was back to being a nobody and this time I had a husband to beat me until I couldn't walk. He was always so angry and he took it out on me. He hurt me in every way, physically, sexually, emotionally...and I was so ready to give up and then I met you, Ymir. And for a while, I thought you could be my escape and then you said those words that night I left and I couldn't use you like that, Ymir. I just...I couldn't. Then next thing you know, there was a gun pointed right at my head and he wanted to kill me and I was going to let him…" Historia closed her eyes for a moment as tears continuously poured out. She remembered his ramble as Porco bore himself to Historia. How she was his last chance to return a favor. And then she recalled how her final words to him were also the first time he had actually listened to her. "And...and then he left...and I tried to finish his job." She brought a hand to softly touch her throat. She tried to smile as she looked at Ymir but she only broke and spluttered sadly, "W-well, now I am here." Historia's whole body racked and she curled into herself, too overwhelmed to keep herself together anymore.

She cried as reality settled itself around her and the two of them were out of the void, back in the real world, crying in Ymir's car. Ymir managed to take a grip on her and she hugged her close. Both of them a mess. And despite it all, Historia felt comfortable as the two of them were at their most vulnerable. She wept broken, grief-stricken, relieved and loved. Historia knew Ymir felt the same way

"I'm sorry," Ymir muttered against her neck, her tears feeling like acid on her skin.

Historia squeezed her tightly, desperate to keep her close. "I'm sorry too."

"I care about you s-so much."

"I….Ymir...I do too," Historia cried shakily. Never had she meant something so truthfully until this moment.

And the two of them stayed there, letting time help them recover. When Ymir finally broke them apart, she sniffed and she tried to laugh. "We're pretty fucked, huh?" Historia smiled through her tears and gave a nod. "You want to go home?"

When she nodded again, they left. And they went home. And then Historia pulled Ymir away from the couch before she could even think about sleeping there. Historia guided her to her bed and she dragged the taller woman down with her as she laid down.

Clinging onto her, Historia muttered against Ymir's shirt. "Stay here with me. Please."

Her shaky breath was enough to know the answer.