Author's Note: So, it happened. Bear with me, I'm in uncharted waters in terms of writing with some of this stuff, so you'll have to forgive me if it's a little clunky and awkward. Fluff isn't exactly a strong point, and I'm pretty sure most of you who followed the other story know… I avoided it as best I could.
Also, shout-out to those who got the Tales of Symphonia reference last chapter! High five! I can't help it. I've been sneaking memes and references in this story here and there but, unlike the other story, I have to be pretty subtle about it since I don't have a self-insert first-person OC pop-cultured mage with an equally pop-cultured voice in his head making Overwatch references about hitscans and flyers. It's fun and amusing to sneak them in here!
I wrote half of this chapter with the Rocky theme on loop. Normally not something I listen to, but I got tired of my usual writing playlist. That movie has such an impact on the pop culture of this area, anyway. What can I say? Not many cities have a statue of a fictional character standing in a public area.
Honestly, I was struggling with this chapter at first, so I started writing the next Spellbinding Radiance chapter, got about halfway in, and started struggling with that as well. I think I might be losing steam temporarily (as evidenced by the timing of this chapter compared to how frequently I used to update). I might slow down for a bit as to not burn myself out, but I promise I won't go on some six-month hiatus out of the blue. On purpose, at least.
Chapter 32
Bolero of Bravery
Two days had passed since we departed for the temple where the Voice was being held. Lucina and I spent a lot of time marching near each other, talking and getting to know each other on a more personal level. Nobody suspected anything between us. After all, she naturally spent so much time around me before any of this even happened that, from the outside, it looked like nothing really had changed between us.
… was I this oblivious? Did other people see this and chose not to tell me, or were others just as oblivious as I was? Gaius, obviously being the observant person he was, was the exception seeing as how he seemingly knew the entire time about her interest.
Our third day marching, I found myself near Gaius and Sumia. Lucina was off talking to Chrom about something, probably spending quality time with her father. Her absence strangely left me feeling a little uneasy and I couldn't shake the feeling I had grown too used to her presence nearby.
"You seem to be in an especially good mood these past few days," Gaius commented.
"A defeated attitude only brings disappointment in battle," I remarked.
"Are we still talking about the war or are you talking about something else?"
"Of course I am talking about the war, Gaius. What else would I be talking about?"
"I would normally make a joke and say 'Cordelia', but I feel something else is amiss here," Gaius mused aloud.
"Cordelia? What does she have to do with Raven?" Sumia asked.
"Oh, don't worry! That's old news. Raven has decided to climb the family tree… or would you say descend? Either way, it's not really relevant anymore it seems," he replied with a cheeky grin before pulling out a piece of candy and popping it in his mouth. Family tree? Really? I shrugged and chose to ignore his verbal jab. He couldn't have figured it out. Could he?
"Something else besides the war?" I asked in what I hoped was an innocent tone. I looked around to see nobody else was within earshot. It would do no good for other people to be listening in to our conversation if Gaius really had somehow figured it out. Lucina and I agreed that for now we wouldn't be open for fear of how people would perceive things. We do have to tell Chrom and Cordelia at some point, but I couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in my stomach at the thought of having that conversation.
"Princess Blue," Gaius remarked. "She doesn't seem so blue anymore. In fact, she seems downright chipper recently."
"Perhaps something good happened to her," I replied. "You don't need to be so suspicious of your allies, Gaius."
"See, that deflecting attitude doesn't work as well when you're defending someone else. In fact, this whole spiel of trying to act like yourselves these past few days have been suspicious. The more you try to force yourselves to be natural, the more unnatural you become. Personally, I think you know what good happened to her and, for some reason you're keeping it a secret. Why would you keep such a secret? Seems it is something big, but something neither of you want others to know about. Perhaps… hm… something that involves you," he deduced. I fumed to myself. Gaius was too intuitive for his own good sometimes.
"You seem to know us better than we do, so what could this secret possibly be?" I asked.
"Something that you two don't want the camp to know, but something that made you both in a better mood. Something that involves you. Perhaps she's pregna—"
"Gaius! Gods almighty! That is the most ridiculous theory I have possibly heard in my entire life, up to and including any stupid things I heard prior to my amnesia," I blurted out, feeling myself blushing.
"Hah, you're flustered! So… it seems the two of you finally worked it out. Good for her to finally have gotten through that thick head of yours," he remarked.
"What do you mean?" I asked in vain. I knew our cover had been blown.
"Should I spell it out to you? Should I go to Chrom and say it in that way and see if he figures it out?" he asked. I felt all the blood drain from my face.
"Gods, please… no," I said. He laughed to himself and Sumia sighed.
"You tease too much for your own good sometimes," she remarked. "However, congratulations to the both of you! It warms my heart to see love blossom amidst darkness."
"You don't think it's weird?" I asked.
"Weird? Why would I think it's w—"
She didn't finish her sentence when she tripped on a stone on the road and lost her balance. Gaius quickly caught her and helped her get balanced again.
"Careful there. These paths can be treacherous," Gaius said to her encouragingly, flashing that trademark charming, fox-like grin that he always loved to use.
"Yes… they can be," Sumia remarked with a sigh.
"Why would it be weird, Shady?" Gaius asked, finishing Sumia's question.
"I really was hoping you'd forget that question. I don't know. I mean, it seems a little awkward to me at times," I said.
"Because she's technically the child of Chrom and Cordelia?" Gaius asked. I nodded in reply.
"It's weird to think she's the same person as that tiny baby that's sitting back at Ylisstol," I replied.
"But she's not. She's an adult who… hmm, actually, I think she's older than Chrom," Gaius said thoughtfully. "I never thought to ask about that. Something I should research in my downtime. I guess if that was true, he's not technically her 'old man' anymore."
"Yes, but…" I began.
"No, Shady. You are making a mountain out of an anthill. You really are paranoid and a bit too analytical sometimes."
"I'm glad you see it that way, but I'm more worried about those two. You know… her parents," I said.
"Then why don't you tell them? You're probably going to have to at some point anyway," Gaius replied. I sighed to myself.
"Maybe after this battle," I said.
"The more you put it off, the more difficult it will become," Gaius said off-handedly. "You have all of today to tell them."
"You sound like you speak from experience," I said.
"Not personal experience, but I know people who put off doing things they didn't want to do and it only made it more difficult down the road," Gaius said. I thought about it for a second.
"Okay, you win. When the opportunity arises, I'll talk to Chrom and Cordelia about it. Or rather, we will," I said.
"There you go, Shady. You have one other person you need to tell as well," he replied.
"Who?" I asked. Gaius shook his head disapprovingly.
"... Blue should be lucky that you're as thick as you are," he merely commented.
"That isn't helping."
"I suppose you will have to keep telling everyone in camp until you get it right, then."
"Gaius…" I said. "Now is hardly the time for jokes."
"Now is always the time for jokes. Always smile, no matter what. Smile until you believe it, Shady."
"Hm, perhaps you're right. You really are rather wise, you know? I wish I was more like you. I struggle with perceiving anything involving myself. Meanwhile, you seem pretty good with understanding people and how they perceive everything."
"That's why I was able to marry a Pegasus rider and you weren't," Gaius commented with a smirk. I stopped in my tracks and stared at him incredulously.
"… I'm going to start hurting you now. Not sure when I'll stop," I remarked, cracking my knuckles.
"Whoa, hold on there, Shady. Hello, Blueberry!" Gaius said enthusiastically. I turned around to see Lucina was coming over.
"Hello, Raven! Hello, Gaius… Sumia," Lucina greeted. She noticed the look on my face and sighed aloud. "So, what did he say this time?"
"Whoa, why are you two ganging up on me? Your darling boyfriend here just happened to not be able to take a joke," Gaius said with a laugh. Lucina made a weird sound as her face turned slightly red.
"W-we're just friends," Lucina insisted, convincing absolutely nobody present. I sighed to myself. Please, Lucina, you have many talents, but acting is most definitely not one of them. Although, she did manage to convince us she was a boy at first, so… who knows?
"Yes, yes, of course, of course. How incredibly bold of me to assume," Gaius said with a shrug. "Sumia's just my friend, too, you know."
"But, you two are married! Wait, oh! Oh…" Lucina replied.
"One of these days, that mouth is going to get you killed," I said with a frown.
"Of course it is. Have you seen how many sweets I eat?" he asked. I opened my mouth to reply before just shrugging my shoulders.
"Can I have a moment, Raven?" Lucina asked. I looked at Gaius, fully expecting him to make a joke.
"What's that glare for? You expected a joke? I know when to be serious, Shady. Go on! Your princess awaits," he said with a laugh before turning back to Sumia. I sighed to myself and followed Lucina. We wandered off to a slight distance away from Gaius.
"What did you want to talk about?" I asked.
"Nothing. I just had a feeling you were at your limit with him," she replied. I smiled at her in reply.
"Thank you. I think I was. Goodness, he takes a joke too far sometimes," I said.
"Indeed…" she replied. She took my hand and we began marching alongside each other near the convoy. Although, I suppose calling it marching would be such a misnomer. Really, we were just travelling as a group. Chrom did insist that the Shepherds operate as normal to prevent disruption to our routines.
As we made our way across the countryside, I couldn't help but admire the scenery before us. Valm really wasn't much different than Plegia, Ylisse, or Ferox. Why did the Valmese feel the need to come across the sea and take over our continent? What inspired this Walhart with the notion that he has the right to come to our land and take it over?
"Something on your mind?" Lucina asked.
"Lucina, tell me… in the future that you know of… what became of this Walhart? Is he the reason the leader of the Risen?" I asked.
"No, he isn't. Truthfully, I know very little of the Valm conflict, truth be told. I never asked much about it since it was an event that happened in between two major events of the assassination of the Exalt and the rise of the leader of the Risen," Lucina admitted. "When the end of the world is at your doorstep, you spend more time looking for solutions to that than studying history."
"Fair enough," I replied. "Ylisse does win this war though, right?"
"Yes, we emerge victorious from this war. How we do it, though, remains to be seen. I can only hope the changes I have made to this time does not affect the seemingly impossible task we have before us," she replied.
"Speaking of seemingly impossible tasks…" I began before pausing.
"What's on your mind?" she asked.
"I, um… how are you feeling right now?"
"I am fine? I am grateful to be in your company in such a capacity. Are… you harboring doubts?" she asked nervously.
"No, no, no, I just… I feel like today is the day we should talk to Chrom and Cordelia about… us," I mumbled. Lucina paled slightly at that.
"I… I suppose that was due to come up eventually," she mumbled in a nervous tone.
"Are you as anxious as I am?" I asked.
"Perhaps. They would be the first ones to know."
"Not… exactly accurate," I said.
"Who else did you tell?"
"Nobody. Gaius figured it out on his own and Sumia happened to hear our conversation. Lissa probably already knows as well," I said.
"Gaius did know how I felt the whole time and took many delights in teasing me for it at every opportunity he could get," she replied.
"He's been teasing you for a while? Goodness, it's almost as if you've been interested this whole time," I said with a small laugh. She broke eye contact and began looking at the ground. I paused for a second and stared at her. "Wait… how long have you felt this way?"
"Truthfully, probably around the time of the mission we went on for the Aum Staff," she replied. "Perhaps it developed before then, but it was on that mission that I truly realized how I felt. I think I came to that realization while sitting by your bed on the ship, feeling guilty for knocking you unconscious…"
"So, for the past two years…" I began.
"… I had been holding hope that you would one day return to us. I… refused to accept the news of your death," she finished. I laughed a little to myself.
"You really are the scion of hope. Hope for humanity's future. Hope for your future. Hope for our future. You are always full of hope. I could learn a lot from you," I remarked.
"I… thank you, Raven," she said.
"Now we need some of that hope that our talk with Chrom and Cordelia will be fine. Are you ready?" I asked.
"Wait, you want to do it now?" she asked.
"When we break for camp this evening. Let us talk to them about it," I replied.
"Okay. I trust your decision on that," she said.
"A poor choice. I am not always to be trusted."
"I would not know any better. I have always trusted you, Raven."
"You assume I am trustworthy, Lucina. What if I wasn't a trustworthy person before I lost my memory?"
"… then I will continue to stay by your side, through every flaw and quirk, as we grow together into better people."
"Lucina, I…" I said, unable to respond to that. I looked down at the ground as we moved forward. "Have you always felt like this and were always afraid to say it?"
"… truthfully, yes," she replied. "I trust you now. I will give you everything I have in helping bring us closer together."
"… thank you, Lucina. I, in turn, will do likewise," I replied. I looked over to her, feeling a sense of comfort and admiration for the young woman before me. We made eye contact and, in that moment, I knew inside… I made the right choice. May the gods strike me down if I ever do anything wrong…
We continued our march through the countryside, wary of any potential surprise attack by Valmese forces. Surprisingly, we came this far without any sort of obstacle, which had me slightly worried. If this land was being swept by such a powerful army, where were they? After a few more hours of marching, we stopped to break for camp. I sighed to myself and looked at Lucina. She looked back at me with a nervous look, but nodded her head in acknowledgment. I saw Vaike walk up to the both of us.
"Raven, looks like you're workin' with me an' Donnel on collectin' firewood," Vaike said. "Frederick's orders."
"Oh, okay. Have you found Donnel yet?" I asked.
"Nah, gonna look for that squirt now. Just get yer butt movin' to the east side of camp and we'll meet you there. Time for Teach to learn you a few lessons on firewood collectin'!"
"I'm sure you have plenty to offer me, Vaike," I replied listlessly.
"Of course I do! Ain't got much in this here head for them books, but I reckon givin' you some of my genius in life can help you out in a spot," he said before clapping me on the shoulder. I stumbled forward a few steps from his sheer strength, but nodded in reply.
"Sounds like a plan. I'll meet you on the east side of camp," I replied.
"Lucina, you wanna come? Frederick ain't got a task for you, but if you want to help, I'm sure yer old man would love to hear that you helped build the fires," Vaike said.
"I must decline. The three of you are more than enough for firewood duty. I might help out prepping the meals," she replied. Vaike made a weird looking face at that.
"Eh… eh… I mean… I think you should go firewood collectin'," he said. Lucina narrowed her eyes suspiciously.
"Explain to me what is wrong with me helping with the cooking?" Lucina asked in a rather demanding tone.
"Oh, nothin', nothin' at all! I just… uh… Raven, help me out here!" he said nervously.
"Actually, I'm curious as well," I replied.
"Eh, actually you'd be no help. You two cook the same. The Vaike is honestly impressed with yer… styles of cooking," Vaike remarked.
"How would you know, Vaike? I'm never on kitchen duty!" I retorted in annoyance.
"Fer good reason!" he replied with a laugh. "Even Teach can't fix that. I ain't a god or anythin' so don't be expectin' no miracles outta me."
"Let me talk to Frederick about that," Lucina said. Vaike scratched the back of his head nervously.
"Actually, Frederick was the one who done gone tellin' me you could help anywhere but the cookin'," Vaike said. Lucina made a sputtering sound.
"I cooked for myself when I travelled alone!" she said with a frown. "And for your both of your information, Raven is a tolerable cook."
"Tolerable?" I asked.
"I mean, everyone has their talents and not everyone can be talented in everything!" Lucina hastily replied. I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly.
"Oh, Lucina, it's fine. Just come collect firewood with us. I have no problem with your cooking," I said with a smile.
"You never had it," she replied quickly.
"I'm sure I would enjoy it either way," I said.
"Oi, you two, east side of camp. I need to find Donnel. You both're talkin' like you two're plannin' for marriage or somethin'," he said.
"R-Right! Of course," I said. "Lucina? East side?"
"Yes! Yes, east side," Lucina replied. "We will see you in a bit, Vaike."
"Hm, you got it," he replied with an odd, suspicious look on his face.
"Okay then," I replied. We made our way to the east side of camp and stood around waiting.
"Raven! Lucina. Something happening?"
We turned to see Elise coming toward us.
"We're on firewood duty," I said. "We're just waiting for Vaike to get Donnel and we can head out to start collecting."
"Oh, okay. I've been put on kitchen duty with Nicolette, Noire, and Sophia," Elise replied.
"Please keep an eye on Sophia and Noire," I said.
"Why?"
"… they might start arguing over the best way to prep a potato," I remarked with a slight laugh. Elise gave me a confused look in reply.
"I feel like you speak from experience on that," Elise said.
"I am. Those two had an argument once over that," I said.
"Prep a potato? You peel and mash it, would you not?" Lucina asked.
"Well, I mean… that is one way to prep it, yes."
"Anyway, it was good seeing you, Raven. I should be heading over to the kitchen now. Lucina, be safe, okay?" Elise said.
"You as well," Lucina replied. I watched Elise walk off to the kitchens and a weird thought came to my head. The one person in camp Gaius said I should probably talk to about my relationship. Could he be talking about Elise? Why would she need to know? I shrugged my shoulders and cleared my mind.
Shortly afterward, Vaike arrived with Donnel and the four of us began collecting firewood for the various campfires we would be having. Vaike was surprisingly knowledgeable about the types of firewood to gather. He couldn't name a tree to save his life, but he knew which branches were good for burning just by the leaves they had. As for firewood, he had a wood-cutting axe on him and proceeded to show us which trees were best for keeping a fire going longer.
Wish I knew all this when I traveled with the Flying Bandits. We didn't have anyone that knowledgeable on trees and the like in that camp. Sure would have saved an argument or three between Leila and I. I smiled slightly to myself as we returned to camp with a smaller tree we cut down. The wood we didn't use tonight would be rationed in the convoy and used at a later time.
Donnel and I began going around camp, setting up the fires. I was surprised by the fact that he could cast magic now. So much has changed in these two years that every single thing that slowly developed over time for them was hitting me all at once.
"So, wait, Donnel, let me get this straight… you can use swords, you can use the axe, and you can use magic?" I asked.
"Sure can! I can do dark magic, too! Miriel was sayin' somethin' about how I got a shadow gift or somethin'," he said.
"You've come a long way from being that boy that we helped all that time ago," I said to him with a smile.
"Aw shucks, ya can't possibly be meanin' that! I still gotta long way ta go 'fore I'm Miriel's level with magic, and I still'm losin' the occasional sword fight ta Chrom!"
"Yeah, but still. They spend their time on one weapon. You're learning three. It takes a madman to wield two weapons and still be a mage," I said. Donnel looked at me in reply.
"Mayhaps… but, y'know, I gotta pull my weight 'round here! Ain't nothin' worse than a horse that can't pull a cart," he replied.
"True, true," I said. I saw Vaike coming over to Donnel and I.
"Raven, I need to talk with you," Vaike said suddenly.
"Go ahead. I got the rest of 'em," Donnel said.
"Where's Lucina?" I asked. "Weren't you two starting some of the fires?"
"Oh, we're done. But speakin' of her, word's been spreadin' around a few of the Shepherds about her," Vaike said.
"… what about?" I asked.
"You two a thing?" he asked.
"Excuse me?" I retorted incredulously.
"Oh, thank the gods, I was thinkin' maybe you two worked somethin' out with each other," he said.
"Why? Wait, 'thank the gods'? What's so wrong if we did?" I asked. Vaike shifted uncomfortably.
"Gotta help with dinner," he said. I grabbed him by the arm.
"Why, Vaike?" I growled.
"I, er, look, there's a bettin' pool goin' on around some o' the Shepherds 'bout you two," he said quietly.
"A betting pool?!"
"Yeah, how long before you stop bein' an idiot."
"I am not an idiot, Vaike."
"Raven, I know a lotta stuff about idiots. I ain't gotta look further'n myself to find the biggest one here, after all. The moment I start thinkin', I'm done for! Gotta stick with what I know: instinct, brute strength, and the stupidity to keep fightin' when everyone thinks it's hopeless. But, you two have been close as hell since the Plegian war. Ain't take much brainpower to add one and one together, 'specially with how she's been actin' recently," he said. I started rubbing my temples in frustration.
"Was it really that obvious to everyone else?" I asked.
"Just a few o' us," he replied.
"Chrom?"
"Hell naw! He ain't exactly the best with the womenfolk either," Vaike remarked.
"Gods, why… why did nobody tell me?" I asked aloud.
"Bettin' pool… and 'sides, it's better that you find out on your own!" he said.
"Heh, I guess that's true…" I said.
"You both make a great team and it's darn nice that a girl that went through hell can be findin' happiness. The Vaike is proud to be tellin' you this."
"Well, the Raven is glad you taught me something new," I replied. "So, what was your bet?"
"That you two would figure it out when we landed," he replied.
"Really?" I asked. "Guess you better be collecting your money, then."
"What? Really? Gaius never told us anythin'," he said.
"Oh, Gaius, huh? Gaius? Gaius is in charge?" I asked.
"Are you surprised?" he asked. I snorted to myself.
"Not in the slightest."
"Know any of the other bets?" I asked out of curiosity.
"I'm rememberin' Sophia and Leila both made the same bet. Sully said it would happen after Valm," Vaike said.
"Is that it?" I asked.
"Oh! Donnel said you two'd never figure it out and you would end up with Elise. Gaius actually gave him good odds on that one, which shocked the hell outta me," Vaike said with a laugh.
"Elise? Me? Gods, she's been just a friend. I could never truly see her that way," I replied with a frown. Right? What a ludicrous idea!
"Ehh, is it really that crazy?" he asked. Of course it is!
But… is it? Why would people think that? Elise said to me recently she wanted to talk to me after the war. What if it was about… oh… oh no. I have to talk to her soon.
"Well, I'm glad to see all of you profiting off my attempt at a love life," I remarked sarcastically.
"Hey, man's gotta get money where he can," Vaike replied. I laughed in response.
"I suppose so. That's why Gaius keeps playing me in cards," I replied. Vaike laughed with me at that as we headed to the mess tent together. We started jokingly plotting various nefarious and unrealistic ways of getting Gaius back for starting this betting pool and what we would do to him if he didn't pay up. We soon arrived and stood in line, waiting our turn to have our dinner. Afterward, I knew what we had to do. If a decent portion of the camp knows, it's only fair Chrom should know as well.
I finished my dinner and stood by the edge of the tent, looking around for Lucina. I couldn't find her inside at all. Where was she?
"Raven?"
I turned to the voice to see Lucina standing behind me.
"Oh, there you are."
"You were looking for me?"
"Yeah…"
"I guess we should go talk to father now?"
"… yeah."
"You don't seem excited."
"I'm just nervous. Aren't you?"
"Of course, Raven. I'm always nervous about what comes next. You know this."
"Sometimes I forget, because you always go forward with a smile and with confidence, like a ray of hope or a ray of sunshine."
"When you begin to doubt yourself, that is when you start losing the battle."
"Perhaps…"
The two of us made our way to Chrom's tent. She stood in front of it, awkward staring at the tent flap.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Should we just walk in?" she asked.
"Oh, hold on," I replied. I knocked on the tent flap. Lucina looked at me weird.
"How can you—"
"Don't ask. It is a mystery. Elise apparently is the only other one here who can do it as well."
"… did someone just… did I just hear… uh, come in?" we heard Chrom's confused voice from inside. We nodded and walked into the tent. Chrom was sitting at his table with a few papers spread across it.
"Oh, Raven… Lucina… thought there was someone out there. Did you really just knock on—"
"I feel like this is a running joke now," I said with a sigh. "A relatively useless skill."
"But it's cloth and it's not exactly solid and…"
"Don't try to figure it out, Chrom," I said soothingly.
"Very well. Was there something you two wanted to talk about?"
"Is mother here?"
"She will be back shortly. Did you want to talk to her?"
"We actually wanted to talk to the both of you about something," Lucina quietly said.
"Oh, well, she will be back soon. In the meantime, have a seat. You both shouldn't act like such strangers when we've known each other for this long," Chrom said warmly. "My good friend and my daughter… if you two act so formal with me, it makes me wonder if I need to spend more time with my soldiers and my family with the Shepherds."
"You're fine, Chrom! It is just… it is simply… I just…" I stuttered out. Why? Why am I trembling?
"I brought the dishes ba—oh, hello."
We all turned to the entrance of the tent to see Cordelia walking in. She looked at Lucina and I with a surprised expression on her face.
"Cordelia, these two wanted to talk to us about something," Chrom said. "Here, sit down, and we can all talk through this together."
"Is it dire news about the future?" Cordelia asked as she sat down.
"It is not about the future, technically speaking, but I am hoping it is not dire news," I said.
"Really? What could it be, then?" Cordelia asked.
"I, um… you see…" I began, but stopped speaking. It was like my voice had failed me. Lucina sighed and I saw her clench her hands on her tunic.
"We just wanted to talk to you about… something," Lucina said. Chrom and Cordelia gave each other a confused look before looking at us.
"We established that already," Cordelia said with a smile.
"Speak, friend. What could possibly be troubling you to the point that you are unable to speak?" Chrom asked me.
"Well, um, you see, Lucina and I have known each other for a while, ever since she came back in time, and… I mean…"
Why couldn't I finish the sentence?
"Yes, you two have known each other for a while. Two years, was it not? Seems like only yesterday we were battling each other in the arena at Regna Ferox," Chrom said in a soothing, encouraging tone.
"Is it something bad?" Cordelia asked.
"No, not at all!" I replied hastily.
"It is not bad at all, mother," Lucina added.
"Then what could be possibly be on your minds that would keep you from telling us? You did come out here, so you did have something to talk about, correct?" Chrom asked.
"Raven and I have expressed mutual interest in each other," Lucina finally blurted out. Chrom gave a confused look.
"Has that not always been the case? You two have been good friends with each other," he replied.
"I mean, with your permission… I would… like to… um… your blessing… I… just… um, look, we… just… future and stuff…"
"Raven, stop. Breathe. Your face is turning white and you're sweating," Cordelia said in a comforting tone of voice. Oh, Cordelia… thank you.
"We would like your blessings," Lucina said.
"Blessings?" Cordelia asked. Gods, these two…
Then again, I can't complain. I would be a hypocrite if I did. I took a deep breath. Now or never, Raven. You can do this. For the first time in your life, just take the plunge! Your insecurity and inability to seek your own happiness was what cost you last time. Do not make that same mistake twice.
Do not be a coward!
"Lucina and I would like to begin courting with the intention of potential eventual marriage! We wanted your blessings as her parents!" I quickly blurted out in an almost yell.
"You and Lucina…" Chrom began
"Begin courting?" Cordelia finished. I looked over to Lucina to see her face bright red as she stared intently at the table in front of us.
"You are referring to a relationship?" Chrom asked.
"She's… our daughter," Cordelia said aloud, as if trying to remind herself of that fact.
"I…" Chrom began, but his face was one of absolute confusion. "You are not… wait, Lucina… gods, you are serious, aren't you?"
"Y-yes, father," she replied quietly. I could see her trembling with nerves from the pressure of the situation. I unconsciously began to reach out to console her, but paused and stopped before resuming my attempt to make myself seem as small as possible. Cordelia cleared her throat and leaned back in her chair with her arms crossed.
"Raven, you… you are a kind, considerate, noble person who puts others before you. You have many positive, desirable qualities about yourself that I feel need to be more prevalent in others. You are a loyal friend and a truly honorable gentleman whose selfless nature is as benevolent as it is natural. Yet, there are times I feel you do not always fully grasp the heart of a woman who stands before you… the heart of a woman who believes in you… the heart of a woman who has fallen for you and entrusts you with her happiness and her soul. Whether by choice or by inability, you seem to fail to grasp the emotional state of a woman who has entrusted you with her feelings. As observant as you are in many circumstances, you seem to be unable to accurately perceive anything when you have any involvement in the situation. A relationship is all about situations involving you and your partner and I worry that there will be many times where you will not fully understand or grasp the situation presented. Although you will always mean the best and have a good heart guiding your actions, I feel there will be many scenarios where you may unintentionally hurt her. Lucina is a person who does not easily communicate her heart and oftentimes hides behind barriers to protect herself from harm. I can safely assume that this was not a spur of the moment, but rather a situation that has been brewing for a while, yet neither had the ability to effectively analyze or communicate it. Can you two truly be happy knowing there will always be circumstances where you two unintentionally hurt each other because neither of you are able to effectively communicate or understand such complex feelings that the other has?" Cordelia asked. I bit my lip and stared at the floor in front of me. Could I really handle that?
"I think we—"
"Lucina… I would like Raven to answer that question," Cordelia said to her firmly. Lucina paused before shrinking in her chair.
"Y-yes, mother."
"Raven? I would like to hear your thoughts on the matter," Cordelia said. I bit my lip and looked her in the eye. I opened my mouth to say something, but there was something there that had me pause for a second. This seemed a little more… personal than just a mother asking about her child. It was almost as if she was not speaking hypothetically, but from experience. Did someone in her past not realize she had an interest in them? Is she speaking about Chrom and the years she worked at him before they finally worked things out?
"I know I am not the most reliable person when it comes to emotions. I tend to under-value myself as a person and, as a result, I misinterpret people's interactions and feelings toward me. What some might consider a legitimate romantic interest, I interpret as merely attempts at friendship. I do this in the hope to protect myself from failure and disappointment. This entire time, Lucina struggled with understanding her thoughts and feelings on the whole situation. I had never once interpreted her actions as anything more than platonic for the longest of time. Even though I enjoyed her company and I felt at peace with her in a way I didn't around others, I never understood what it meant. Even if I had, I would never have acted upon it, because I would have probably deemed myself not worthy. These are great flaws we both have, I must begrudgingly admit. I can be blind to the obvious; she sometimes rejects reality and substitutes her own. Yet… those very same flaws can be boons if worked around. We want to move forward together. We want to grow together. If things ultimately do not work, at least we can say we tried. After all, we miss every swing we do not attempt. I would like to regret the things I had done, rather than the things I wish I had done," I blurted out.
"You miss every swing you do not attempt?" Chrom asked.
"That sounds like you speak from experience with that. Is there something that you regret not doing?" Cordelia asked quietly, biting her lip.
"That… is not relevant," I mumbled.
"You're right. My apologies, Raven…" Cordelia replied.
"I have to say, that was one heck of speech you gave straight from your heart. For a man usually of few words, you came out of your area of comfort and did what you could to convince us otherwise. We have witnessed Raven attempt to grow for the sake of his and Lucina's happiness. I see no problem with it," Chrom said. "Cordelia?"
"I… must admit, I am hesitant about this. Life is more than intentions, Chrom," Cordelia replied.
"Mother, please…" Lucina said quietly. "All I have known in my life is darkness. I never got to know father the way he is now growing up. He was a haunted soul, broken by what happened with the return of the fell dragon. You and Aunt Lissa gave up your lives so I could escape a Risen attack. Even Raven's older self gave his life fighting a whole army of the Risen all by himself… simply to allow me to escape. All I have experienced is running away and leaving behind a trail of darkness. All I have seen is death and despair. I came back here to bring light in a future I wanted to walk toward, but I still continue to see darkness. I watched you die to King Gangrel. I saw Aunt Emmeryn fall to what we thought was her death! Please, for once, I have the chance to experience light! It may not be the perfect light you would ideally want for your daughter to have, but a fire does not blaze right away. It takes work and effort to stoke the flames. It takes a period of time before the heat and warmth grows to envelop and embrace you. Please, mother… please give it a chance."
Cordelia sighed to herself and rubbed her forehead. She looked at Chrom with hesitation in her eyes. He nodded encouragingly to her in reply. She sighed to herself before she looked at the both of us, as if scrutinizing every detail of who we are.
"Very well. Perhaps there is some merit in trying. It is only in doing rather than speaking do we have a chance at success, after all," she replied. "However, if you two ever need to talk, please come to us. Don't let your problems fester. Don't hold any negativity inside. Use your words. Use your hearts. Be mindful of each other. That is all I ask of you," she said.
"I will do my best, Cordelia. I promise. I will do my best to show how lucky I feel about all of this. I want her to be happy with me. I want her to be happy because of me. I… don't want her to be happy in spite of me. I want to be a source of comfort and joy," I said resolutely. She smiled slightly at me.
"Perhaps you have matured a bit in the past two years after all," she replied with a sigh.
"Everything okay?" I asked her carefully.
"Yes, Raven," Cordelia replied, although I noticed she refused to make eye contact. She was lying, but I chose not to point that out.
"Who would have guessed when we met two years ago that this would have happened?" Chrom asked. "Certainly not I."
"Nor I," I replied. "She absolutely despised me at first."
"I did, admittedly. Then, I got to know you. We really should thank father for putting us in that hallway together all those years ago," Lucina said. "Every time when we were upset with each other, we talked through our differences and grew from it."
"Keep doing that, then," Cordelia said. "Communication is a two-way street, after all."
I nodded in reply. Gaius was right. Getting this out of the way sooner rather than later was beneficial to everyone. Maybe I won't punch him in the arm for starting that betting pool. Maybe. That's a big maybe.
"I… should be heading back to my tent. I have much to think about now," Lucina said.
"It is starting to get late. Perhaps we should all get to sleep soon," Chrom added.
"Good point. I shall take my leave as well," I said.
"Then… I bid a good night to the both of you," Cordelia said to us.
"To you as well," I replied. Lucina and I left the tent and started heading back to where our tents were. I noticed her slower pace and slowed down to match her pace.
"Raven, will you always be honest and truthful with me?" she asked.
"Hm? What's wrong?" I asked.
"Just answer me," she said firmly.
"Of course. What's on your mind?"
"Mother… Cordelia… she sounded like she was speaking from experience when she was talking about a heart not being understood," Lucina said.
"You felt that way, too? I figured she was talking about how long it took before Chrom realized how she felt," I said.
"No, that's not it."
"Really? You know what she's referring to?"
"My mother once told me when I was young that she had a friend she was very close to and had an interest in pursuing a relationship with. It was someone she knew prior to father setting the natural string of events on course," Lucina said.
"… someone she was talking to before Chrom?" I asked.
"This friend and her were close and she thought he might have had an interest."
"You told me this once a couple of years ago. She thought he was interested, but she wasn't sure since he was genuinely caring and friendly with everyone. You said to me once that you wanted to find out who this person was," I said.
"I also remember one time I was staying in your room in Ylisstol and I stumbled across your notebook. The way you two interacted when she came back to life… the notebook… the story she told me as a child… and the way she acted just now. She was talking about you, Raven… she liked you and you did nothing about that, despite the fact you liked her as well," Lucina said.
"I…" I began.
"Tell me the truth, please…" she said.
"I… yes, I did like her back then. I never knew for sure about her, but with how you put it… it seems likely," I said quietly. "I… wanted to forget about that, Lucina. Why must you bring that up?"
"You said it yourself. We need to talk through the things that bother us," she said.
"Does it bother you that I once had an interest in her and am just now finding out it was mutual?" I asked.
"I'm not upset with you for it, but think about it for a moment. Time travel has a way of bringing ludicrous concepts to reality," she said.
"I don't follow," I replied.
"It… feels a little odd to think that the man I am in a relationship with now once tried to pursue a relationship with my mother," she said.
"Funny enough… I had a similar conversation earlier with Gaius and Sumia before you came over," I said.
"How so?"
"They were congratulating me on working things out with you and I told them… that it felt awkward to think that I was dating someone who was essentially the tiny baby that sits in Ylisstol right now. Not to mention the child of both my good friend and someone I was once interested in," I replied. "That is why… I originally never even thought to see you as anything other than a friend."
"When you put it that way…" she began, but paused.
"Look, Lucina, if it helps you to think of it in a different way, you are now an adult. You are capable of making your own choices. Despite what you knew of my history with your mother and the tumultuous history we shared, you still took that giant leap of faith. Like I said earlier, for one who preaches how you know only darkness and despair, you are always a shining beacon of hope and optimism. I respect that about you. I admire that about you. I wish… I had half of that strength. I wish… I could be more like you," I admitted.
"I push forward because I challenge my fate. I refuse to believe there is only one way for life to go. We cannot fall victim to the idea that our lives are pre-determined. You never pursued anyone in the time I come from. You already have diverged, small or big as it may be, with me. It lets me believe more can change. You helped me to believe I was making a difference here, Raven."
"You're the one doing most of the work, Lucina. I just… do what I can, small as it may be. Sometimes I feel if I wasn't here, things would still end up the same. Do I really matter here, to be honest? I am just one person. One simple soldier just doing what little I can to contribute. Sometimes I feel I am a luxury here, not a necessity… if even that…"
I stumbled slightly as I felt something run into me. A mass of blue clouded my vision. I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and hold me tightly. I heard quiet breathing with my right ear. A hint of strawberries filled my nose. What is this… warm feeling I am experiencing?
"Raven… to me, you are a necessity."
With only the slightest bit of hesitation, I returned the embrace. We stood there, locked in a tight embrace under the moonlit sky, a chorus of crickets underscored by the crackling embers of the slowly dying campfires around us. In this moment, there existed nothing but her and I. In this moment of time, the worries of the present… the fear of my past… the anxiety for the future… the fate of the world… none of it mattered. What mattered to me was this wonderful person who accepted me, embraced me, and chose me.
If I died at this very moment, I would go on with only the regret of leaving her behind. A part of me I never knew existed came to life, and I felt a sudden rush of emotions come through me. No matter what, I would never let her go. Not so long as I live and drew breath…
"... thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. For being there for me. Lucina, I…"
"Raven, it's okay. Dry your tears. It's fine."
"My tears? I'm not crying… am I?"
I heard her laugh slightly.
"I'll let you find that out yourself."
"Lucina, I'm not perfect…"
"I don't expect you to be."
"I could hurt you one day."
"Human error always hurts someone. It is what you do after that determines the mettle of the man."
"… when did you get so good with your words?"
"With you, Raven, I feel I can accomplish anything."
I wish I could go the rest of my life feeling like this. I wish to Naga that this was not just for now. I wish… life would let me keep us like this from here on out. You already took away my memories from the past. Please… don't replace them with memories I would learn to hate. Please… don't let me turn into the man I have the potential to become.
Let me go down a different path. With her by my side, let me go forward as a person who deserves the happy future we are consciously steering everyone's fate toward…