Athénaïs's P.O.V.-
School was…. interesting that morning, to say the least. My mind was elsewhere the entire time; it got so bad that I didn't even notice when Mr. Grinds called on me to read a section from the textbook. Oops. I'm sure April noticed but didn't say anything until gym class later on. As usual for today, I was standing off to the side gazing out into nowhere and lost in thought.
Raphael and I shared a bed together last night. Should I be more upset than I initially was? It was obviously a mistake. I doubt he'd want to share a bed with me even if I did let him stay. Still, did that make me feel better? Should it make me feel better? I don't know… I've always been so chaste and protective of myself. I wanted to save myself for my boyfriend; that's the whole point of my efforts. But it never occurred to me before that in waiting for a boyfriend so ardently, I might be unintentionally dismissing viable candidates.
That's just the thing though. Raphael wasn't a viable candidate. I told myself I wouldn't let myself fall in love with anyone here in America. It'd be pointless if I did; it'd only end in heartbreak. Moving here permanently would be hard legal-wise, and besides, I didn't want to stay here. I'm European through and through; Austria is my home country. I was a stranger in America- a visitor. I'd be leaving soon enough for university. Where would that leave me and Raphael, should we ever…..? But no, that's nonsense. He doesn't like me like that, I'm sure. I'm still not even positive that he likes me at all, never mind in a romantic sense. I think that also helped me stop from developing deeper feelings for him. It'd be cruel to fool myself and say he's interested in me when he's clearly not. He's not…. is he? "Raphael's going to miss you when you leave." Is he?
"Yo, Athénaïs!" A familiar, unwelcomed voice made me flinch. I blinked to find Craig approach me on the court outside; he was also wearing his gym uniform. I frowned, visibly upset to see him. He, however, wore the cheekiest of grins like there was no bad blood between us. "How's it goin'?" "Fine, thank you," I looked away in a show of disinterest. "Haven't seen you since the festival. You looked very hot in white, by the way," he winked. Nugh, disgusting; I rolled my eyes inwardly. He's going to act like that awkward scene didn't happen at all, isn't he? Best to play along, I guess.
"Is there something I can do for you, Craig?" I decided to get straight to the point. None of these high school games for me. "Yeah, you can go to a movie with me this Saturday," he chose to be just as direct. Bad move on my part. "T-This Saturday? N-No, I'm sorry." "What? Look, I'll even let you pick the flick. We can go see that new Disney princess girly movie if you want," he took a step closer to me. "No, thank you, Craig. I'm good." "Why not? You know how many girls would love to be in your shoes right now?" Zero? My eyebrow lifted unamused. But before I could give another rebuff, a welcomed presence showed up this time.
"She said no, Hollander," April appeared, resting her elbow on my shoulder as a sign of support. Craig immediately frowned. "Oh, come you. You already blew me off at the festival." "Yeah, she did. She doesn't want to go out with you; deal with it, Craig," April snapped back; I think she was as done with his nonsense as I was. His frown widened.
"Is this about that boyfriend of yours? That ugly guy who went with you to the festival." "Boyfriend?" April's eyebrow raised up in my direction. I shot Craig a look, keeping a firm expression. "He already told you, he's not my boyfriend. He's just a friend; not that that's any of your business." "Right. So, if you're not dating him, why can't you give me a chance? Am I missing something here?" "Yeah, your dignity. Come on, Athénaïs," I had to stifle a grin as April dragged me away. The look on Craig's face was priceless just then. Meanwhile April had frustration in her face.
"Can you believe the nerve of that jerk?! You've told him "no" what, like a billion times? And he still hasn't got the message." "Oh, I think he's got the message. I think he just doesn't care," my eyes rolled exasperated. "What'd he mean by "boyfriend" though? You said you guys were just friends," April then asked me. "We are. I mean, he's not my… official boyfriend or anything." "But is he like your "unofficial" boyfriend? Do you like him?" "Uh…. well….." I began to stumble over my words.
April's face immediately lit up as she paused for a moment. "So you do have the hots for him, don't you!? That explains all the sighs coming from you lately; I didn't think you were memorizing algebra equations." "N-No… It's not like that." My eyes rolled down to the ground embarrassed. She blinked at me in surprise. "What? Do you love him, but he doesn't love you?" My mouth opened a sliver as I digested her words. Do I… love Raphael? And more importantly, does he even like me? Forget about love…. "Nothing happened, ok? Course nothing would happen, Austria; it's you."
I let out a thoughtful sigh. "Yeah, that's probably what's going on. But he's just a friend; I think if he liked me, he'd be a little bit nicer to me. Seriously, he's always poking fun at what I read, what movies I watch- just everything I like and do. He's never given me a real, genuine compliment before. Plus, he's such a hot-head." A pause on April's end. "Yeah, sounds like someone I know; total rage-a-holic. If he's anything like one of my friends, he'd have no time of day for girlfriends. But tell me something: is he the jealous type?" "Huh?" "Jealous? Does he ever get jealous of you?" "I don't… think so? I mean, he didn't like Craig at all, but I just assumed that was because Craig was rude to him. I didn't think he was jealous…." Looking back on it now though, it could be possible…. You never know with teenage boys.
April nodded considerately. "I guess if he was jealous, that would be a sign that he has feelings for you and wants to keep you for himself." "I doubt that," I didn't sound overly confident though. "Then maybe he's moody because he's unsure of your feelings for him?" "I suppose that could be true. I haven't been very transparent either, when I'm being honest….." "And what are your feelings for him? You like him, don't you?" A mischievous smile rolled across her lips. When I didn't answer, she went on.
"You do like him!" "I don't…. like Raphael; that's…. impossible." "Come on. You must like him, at least a little. It's written all over your face," her hand gave mine a playful squeeze. It is? I blinked back to April's excited expression. Me…. with Raphael?