XXXIV.

"Cassandra, tell your spawn if he doesn't stop staring at me I'm going to rip out his eyeballs and feed them to him."

"She won't," Cassandra assured her son, who's eyes had gone wide at the threat. Narcissa wondered how she could be so damn sure of that as the Unbreakable Vow that protected her didn't extend to Gregory, but then she realized Cassandra was certain she wouldn't because she was there and out of anyone, Narcissa was able to control her sister. "However, it is rather rude to stare, Gregory. Come— let's go unpack your school trunk; you're not livin' out of it for the next two weeks like last year."

Cassandra ushered her son out of the room, leaving Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Draco alone in the parlor. They had just arrived back from the train station, and while Narcissa and Cassandra had warned the boys that they were going to have another house guest for the duration of the holidays, it seemed neither Gregory nor Draco really believed it until they saw it for themselves.

"What the hell is going on?" Draco asked, as this was far from what he expected as well. "Are you suddenly okay with my mother dating Aunt Cassandra?" The way he said it, it seemed like Draco did not believe that Bellatrix didn't have ulterior motives, and Narcissa could not blame him. This arrangement was still strange to her, but whatever Cassandra wanted.

"Okay is a relative term," Bellatrix responded dismissively before she leaned forward in her seat, trying to peer around the corner to make sure that Cassandra and her son were gone before her gaze settled on her nephew. "Where are you at? Because you're running out of fucking time."

"Bella, let him— let him get settled first, please," Narcissa begged her sister, not wanting Draco to have to be bombarded by the unsettling reality that she knew her son wished not to face while he was away on holiday. He no doubt needed space to breathe and time to plan his next move, and she didn't want Bellatrix stressing him out. He already looked paler and thinner than usual and it took all of Narcissa's self-control not to just take him and run.

Draco looked torn between being indignant and nervous as he tried to justify his pace with, "I have almost six months until the end of term—"

"And nearly four months of failure under your belt," Bellatrix harshly reminded him, not cutting any corners. "Have you made any progress?"

"Loads!" Draco assured her, growing a little red in the face. "I… I have someone under the Imperius Curse!"

"Someone actually fucking important, or…?"

"Maybe not important, but useful!" Draco defended, feeling very attacked by his aunt's line of questioning. "It's not like I could put one on one of the teachers, someone would have noticed— and I don't need your help, you know; Jesus, you're just like Professor Snape, trying to butt in so you can steal all the glory for yourself…"

Bellatrix outright laughed at that and Narcissa went a little pale. She didn't want Draco snubbing assistance just because he wanted to make a name for himself. "Darling, Severus is trying to help you, I asked him to look out for you while you were at school—"

"Well I don't need anyone's bloody help!" Draco snapped, growing frustrated. "I have a plan, you know, it's just… taking a little while to see it through. I have to repair something and it's— difficult, okay? But…" He hesitated then, an unhappy expression crossing his face as he shifted his gaze to his aunt.

"But you need help," Bellatrix finished for him sardonically.

"I don't need help from you," Draco spat, and Narcissa's stomach twisted in her gut. She did not like how hostile he was being; it made him seem like he was unraveling. "I'll just— when it works, I'll need Death Eaters. I can get them into the school, and I know the Dark Lord said that I can't get any help but if I can do something like that then maybe he'll make an exception, because that will— it'll be huge, won't it?"

Bellatrix sat up straighter at this information. "You can?" She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, hesitant to believe his claims. "…How?" Narcissa felt like she could breathe a little easier at those words though, as despite her son's assurance that he didn't need help from Bellatrix, if he could get Death Eaters into the school then that meant Bellatrix could go with him and protect him.

Well, so long as the Dark Lord allowed it, which now that Narcissa was thinking about it, she doubted. If this truly was a punishment for Lucius, then he would never send his best lieutenant to back up Draco. At best, he'd get a handful of expendable grunts. Still, perhaps Bellatrix could convince him…

Draco shifted his gaze to his mother and then back to his aunt, who seemed to understand that he didn't want to worry Narcissa with what he was doing and so Bellatrix stood with a commanding, "Come with me."

Narcissa's mouth hung open at how easily she was dismissed. "No— you both can't just cut me out of this conversation like I don't matter!"

"You don't matter," Bellatrix reminded her harshly as she rounded on her sister. Her words cut Narcissa who's brow creased in upset, hating how she acted when it came to matters concerning the Dark Lord. This was her son, for Christ's sake! "This is nothing to do with you— you do not bear the Mark, therefore it is none of your concern. You trusted me to protect the brat so let me fucking do it. Go upstairs with your little girlfriend— Draco and I will be busy for a while. If we are not here when you come back downstairs that means I've brought him for an audience with the Dark Lord and yes, he will be fine; he's with me."

Narcissa did not like the finality in her sister's tone but she allowed her to speak to her like that anyway, as what else was she supposed to do? This wasn't her area, fine, and Narcissa trusted Bellatrix enough to take care of Draco, but she still wanted to know what was happening with her son. This entire thing terrified her and Bellatrix was well-aware of that, and while Narcissa understood that Draco didn't want to burden her with anything else because he was concerned about her mental health, that didn't mean Narcissa wanted to be left in the dark, as that would be worse.

Narcissa left to find Cassandra though, climbing the stairs with a heavy heart. She could hear her and Gregory in the latter's room as she approached the top step and Narcissa paused for a moment, listening. "—Decorations look like shit, Mum; can't even see out the bloody windows there's so many fuckin' snowflakes and junk."

"S'For Bellatrix— know we live kinda far outta the way, but just in case; so no one sees her through the windows. I dunno, best I could come up with. Sorry they're shit, but suck it up, yeah? We gotta guest an' ya don't gotta be rude."

"Malfoy told me she hates you, Mum— why the fuck is she here?" Gregory asked, which was… well, valid. Narcissa was still wondering that, honestly, as it seemed like a very volatile situation. On paper it seemed like a logical thing to do though because yes, it would keep Bellatrix safer, but also at this point Narcissa was beginning to doubt the Ministry was going to come again— it had been a month. Maybe it really had just been one toss because of that tip, but then that was awful because it meant… everything that happened, all of the fallout with Cassandra's actual breakdown, wasn't even worth it.

And that shredded Narcissa. There she was again, prioritizing Bellatrix over Cassandra. It was awful. She was awful.

"…I dunno," Cassandra exhaled quietly, honestly. "Thought— well, that it would be a good thing to do, but already I feel like I made a mistake. Still, Bellatrix doesn't— we don't get along, no, but she's been livin' here for like a month now an' it's… better, I guess, than what it used to be. S'not really 'hate' anymore. It'll be fine though, Cissa can handle her— I won't have this ruin your holiday, pumpkin; I promise."

Narcissa could just imagine Gregory going fifteen different shades of red. "Stop callin' me that."

"Why? You're all cute n' round," Cassandra teased him, and Narcissa gently smiled at the tone of the woman's voice, as it seemed lighter than it had the last couple of times she had spoken with her.

"Mum! Stop— stop pokin' me!"

Narcissa decided against interrupting them, as Cassandra deserved some time alone with her son. Instead she deviated course to the bedroom she was going to share with the other woman during the duration of her visit, reapplying her face before she decided to take the time she had alone to finish up her Christmas shopping in Diagon Alley. It was a couple hours until she returned, and when she arrived back in the Goyle manner she could hear the boys talking loudly upstairs, which allowed Narcissa to exhale a relieved breath, glad that Draco was there and safe. Narcissa's plan was to find Bellatrix and ask (demand to know) how things were going, but after she had given her shopping bags to Cassandra's house elf and made her way down the hallway, she heard voices coming from the kitchen.

"—can't do this anymore."

"Don't be a pussy," Bellatrix hissed, causing Narcissa's stomach to twist into knots at the base of her stomach as she heard both her sister and her girlfriend's voices. "This was your fucking idea—"

"I know," Cassandra acknowledged, but she sounded so terribly gutted by that. What was her idea though? Did they seriously have more torture in store for her; wasn't telling her to fuck off for weeks enough? Narcissa had understood their desire to basically 'team up' to get back at her, and okay, maybe she deserved it because she hadn't been very kind to either of them for a multitude of different reasons, but shouldn't that be over now? She and Cassandra seemed to be… well, perhaps okay wasn't a great word, but Cassandra didn't seem as angry with her as she had been before, and Bellatrix…

Well, Bellatrix wasn't going to stop trying to get back at her for what she had done with Cassandra behind her back until she felt things were 'even', and who knew how long that would last. Narcissa knew her bullshit with her sister wasn't over, but did she have to keep trying to rope Cassandra into it as well? She was probably just trying to get Cassandra to end things with her, and the base of Narcissa's stomach ignited in fury because she would take a lot from Bellatrix and would deserve most if not all of it, but she was not going to take that.

"You don't… you don't understand what she was sayin' to me though; she was finally acknowledging all the pressure she puts on me emotionally an' shit, she was bein' so goddamn understanding an' supportive an' I feel like shit, Bellatrix— she doesn't fuckin' deserve this…"

"Don't be an idiot," Bellatrix harshly responded, and Narcissa chanced a peak around the corner of the doorway, hoping they were both sufficiently distracted enough not to see her. Cassandra was practically hunched over the counter with her palms on the edges, her hair hanging in her face as she stared at an imperfection in the marble. Bellatrix was behind her and she was… way too close for Narcissa's comfort level. She was practically hissing in Cassandra's ear with her hands on her hips and Narcissa began to feel nauseous, as the first thought that came to her mind about why Cassandra was allowing Bellatrix to touch her like that was not a good one. "You know what she does— it's just more pretty fucking words; she doesn't mean a single one of them. Don't get wrapped up in her bullshit again— don't be that fucking pathetic."

Narcissa flattened herself against the wall, closing her eyes as she tried to fight down the sickness that was brewing in the pit of her stomach. This could not be what she thought it was though, because… because Bellatrix had said it was Cassandra's idea, and Cassandra wouldn't do something like that to her. She just wouldn't. Bellatrix, yes— Bellatrix would absolutely get some sick satisfaction in forcefully taking something that Narcissa loved and corrupting it beyond recognition, but Cassandra… she wasn't that easily manipulated for one and again, whatever they were talking about was her idea, so… so it couldn't be something like that. Narcissa refused to believe it.

Bellatrix was touchy anyway though— it was how she controlled people. She always had a problem with personal space, so that was probably all it was. Still, Cassandra didn't flinch away or tell her to stop touching her, but Narcissa just rationalized that after a month of Bellatrix no doubt trying to do it over and over as she convinced Cassandra to hate Narcissa with her, that Cassandra had just given up trying to get her to stop getting in her space. Sometimes it was just easier to let Bellatrix do what she wanted instead of reprimanding her, as the woman never cared enough to change.

"Stop callin' me pathetic—!"

"Shut up; the kids are still in the bloody house and you're being mouthy as fuck— Come here," Bellatrix demanded, and the rest of Cassandra's words fell away as Narcissa heard murmuring. She looked around the corner again to see her sister's lips were pressed against the other woman's ear as she whispered her toxic fucking words that seemed to be breaking Cassandra's resolve of not continuing to hurt her, which shredded Narcissa's soul a little more. The redhead's eyes were vacant and glassy as she stared straight ahead of her, her jaw tensed as she nodded at whatever the other woman was telling her. Bellatrix was practically grooming her— her fingers were raking through Cassandra's hair as she convinced the younger woman to listen to her, to obey her, and Narcissa felt like she was going to vomit.

God, why, why was Bellatrix doing this?! She could do anything— anything else for her retribution against her, but taking Cassandra away from her? Even if this wasn't what it looked like which— Narcissa couldn't even let herself think, because despite her stupid threesome fantasy, now the thought of them doing that together was making her feel horribly ill— Bellatrix was still corrupting her in some way. She was clearly getting inside of Cassandra's head and furthering her breakdown, no doubt trying to make the woman fall completely apart so that it would destroy her relationship with Narcissa, and the blonde couldn't stand Bellatrix for that. She understood her sister was hurt, but this was… this was too much. God, it was too fucking much…!

Narcissa fled.

She ended up outside in the garden, tears streaming down her face as she sobbed, desperately trying to convince herself that she was just being paranoid. Bellatrix and Cassandra's relationship had obviously changed due from the time they spent together, but she also knew how her sister operated— she'd want control over Cassandra in some way, as it would make her feel powerful to be able to manipulate the one thing that was destroying her life. Narcissa didn't think that Cassandra could be so easily swayed, but maybe things had changed— the woman was obviously going through something, and maybe her falling apart just made it easy for Bellatrix to make her do whatever she wanted, like keeping Cassandra angry with her. Bellatrix was being too goddamn touchy, yes, but maybe Cassandra just didn't know how to stop her. Maybe she was just so fucking broken that she was allowing Bellatrix to further it without a fight, as she was just too exhausted at this point to.

Narcissa wanted to fix it, she wanted to protect her, but if she tried and then it turned out that she wasn't being paranoid after all, Narcissa knew she would hate herself for it, as Cassandra would not deserve it then. Narcissa felt so utterly lost on how to proceed because it wasn't like she could confront either of them right now— their children were home, and should the worst turn out to be true, Narcissa didn't want the boys caught in the crossfire. So despite how hard it was to swallow her fears and push them aside for now, Narcissa knew she had to as she wiped the tears from her cheeks and convinced herself, for her own sanity, that whatever was going on with them wasn't what it looked like, because Narcissa knew she could not handle that fallout right now.

There were more important things to worry about— like Draco.

Dinner was… awkward. It was fraught with tension and long silences, as no one really felt comfortable with the weird family unit they had become. Still, they got through it eventually, and after dinner Narcissa asked to speak with her sister alone, trying to push the picture of her and Cassandra out of her mind as she focused on something that mattered more. They made their way into the guest room that Bellatrix had been staying in for nearly a month now, a little surprised that the woman hadn't destroyed it or tried to bathe it in black. Perhaps it had been so long that she barely registered it anymore though, or else whatever 'truce' she had with Cassandra prevented her from forcefully redecorating a room that was originally meant for the little girl that Cassandra was never able to have.

Still, it was a little odd to see Bellatrix look as comfortable as she could feasibly be in a room bathed in pinks and purples. Her sister watched her close the door and cast the silencing charm, already knowing what Narcissa was going to ask as she leaned against the dresser. "The Dark Lord accepted his request for Death Eaters should he prove himself competent enough to get them inside of Hogwarts. However, this meeting was not private, as the Dark Lord appointed the Carrow twins as leads should Draco be successful— he has a way to contact them now, which means your son's involvement in our circle is no longer secret. You need to understand what that means."

"I know what that fucking means!" Narcissa exclaimed, anxiety taking hold of her chest. It meant quite a lot of things, but mainly that there truly was no escape for Draco; if he succeeded— no, when he did, then he would be a fully-fledged member and would be expected to have a lot more involvement in the war. That awful thing on his arm would turn black and her son would be expected to answer the call instead of ignoring it as he was allowed to do now, as Draco was still in school and the Dark Lord did not wish his cover to be blown just yet. This was probably his last year now though, as whether he succeeded or failed, Narcissa doubted he would be able to step back inside Hogwarts again, and the base of Narcissa's stomach churned with bile. This was not what she wanted for him.

"What… what about you?" Narcissa asked, her eyes searching her sister's as she realized Bellatrix hadn't included herself in the plan. "Why aren't you lead? If anyone should be—"

Bellatrix just exhaled a small sigh. "You know why, Cissy. I tried— I asked, but the Dark Lord…" she trailed off, and Narcissa felt sick. She would have felt infinitely better about the entire thing if Bellatrix was there with Draco, but of course the Dark Lord didn't want that. This entire thing was not meant to bring any kind of comfort for their family. "Listen," Bellatrix continued, trying to switch the subject to something other than the failure that the Dark Lord no doubt expected of the woman's son. "With Draco being more involved now, he'll be around for a lot more once he gets out of school at the end of the year and… I mean, I will silence everyone the best I fucking can, but—"

What?

Oh, God.

Narcissa's eyes went wide as she looked at her sister; she hadn't even considered what that would mean in that regard. "Bella, they— they cannot tell him about us! Please, please— I will do anything you bloody ask, just please… I cannot bear for him to know that, oh my God…" Narcissa clutched at her sister desperately, no longer caring what else might be going on— if Draco knew about her relationship with Bellatrix, she would never be able to look her son in the eyes again.

"Anything?" Bellatrix pushed, bitterly amused by her sister's choice of words. She cocked a challenging eyebrow at her then, stating her terms. "Alright. Leave her. I want you all to myself; break up with her— right now."

Narcissa's breathing shallowed but that didn't stop her from quickly agreeing with, "Fine," without even a moment's hesitation, which made Bellatrix snort sardonically.

"See, this is why she's fucking crumbling. Why even bother with her if you're so willing to toss her aside? Not to advocate for her because I'm fucking not, believe me— but your level of selfish bullshit far surpasses anything I've ever bloody seen before, and I'm around shit people pretty fucking constantly."

"My relationship with my son is more important than either of you!" Narcissa exclaimed fiercely as she pushed herself away from Bellatrix, not sorry about her priorities. She loved Cassandra, but Draco came before her. He came before Lucius, he came before Bellatrix— that was just the way it was. "But believe me, if you really want to trade your help with silencing people for something like that, then it won't just be my relationship with Cassandra that's ruined. You might end up having me, Bella, but we would always be miserable and despite you trying to make me that way right now, I know you don't want that forever. So go ahead— force my hand, see what happens."

Bellatrix looked irritated at being called out as she shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "I already said I was going to try to keep everyone's mouths shut— I just wanted to see how far you were willing to go for it. Besides, I don't want you to break up with her— I'd get way more satisfaction out of her tossing you aside like you damn well deserve, but don't worry; I feel like that day's coming sooner than you think."

Narcissa exhaled a hard breath through her nose, her jaw clenching. "You need to leave her alone," she warned her sister, because with how Bellatrix was acting maybe she was just being paranoid, and Bellatrix was merely goading Cassandra into destroying her own relationship. She clearly would get off on it after all; she always did enjoy winning.

"Or what?" Bellatrix asked, laughing. "What the fuck can you do about it, really? You've already lost, Cissy— it's now only a matter of when you actually recognize that. You know, it wasn't that hard to break her, so I suppose it's only fair to thank you for that. You put so many damn cracks in the woman that one gentle push and…" Bellatrix pointed her finger as she spoke, gesturing in order to accent the cruelty of her words, but before she could indicate anything shattering Narcissa had grabbed her finger in her hand, wrenching it backwards.

Bellatrix hissed in pain, but it was only brief before she started chuckling again, getting off on the anger in Narcissa's eyes. "You've never been gentle about anything a day in your fucking life— I am warning you, Bellatrix, if you hurt her…"

"Did you forget how the Unbreakable fucking Vow works?" Bellatrix snapped, wrenching her sprained finger away from her sister's grasp once Narcissa had loosened it.

"I meant emotionally!"

"Are you under the impression that she gives enough of a shit about me for me to hurt her like that? Because I'm sorry to fucking inform you, Princess, but it's not me who's hurting her. The only thing I'm doing is reminding her of that— everything else? That was your doing, and yours alone. You want someone to blame? Look in the fucking mirror."

Narcissa's breathing shallowed, her heart clenching painfully in her chest. "If I make you so goddamn miserable then just leave me! For fuck's sake, Bella, what do you actually think this is going to accomplish? Do you think that once she leaves me that you and I will finally be happy? You're deluded—!"

"I don't leave you for the same reason you're not leaving me despite you being fully fucking aware that I'm out for blood right now," Bellatrix seethed, eradicating the space between them as she got right in her sister's face. "You know I'm actively trying to fuck up your life, your relationship; you know I'm trying to hurt you like you hurt me and yet you're still bloody allowing it, aren't you? Why? You know why— fucking tell me why, Cissy!"

Narcissa's eyes fell closed in defeat, her chest feeling heavy despite knowing she was being hollowed out. She could feel her sister's uneven breaths on her lips, and she was being backed up against the wall until Bellatrix was entirely against her, Narcissa's fingers helplessly grasping at her neck. She felt like she was falling, and a tear slipped out beneath her eyelid. "Because I want you to get it out of your system," she breathed, hating herself for every word as she knew she had no one to blame but herself. "I miss being happy with you, and I know you get mad and you hate me for the things I do, for the other people I love, but you always… you always get angry, and lash out, but then it's over and I just want it to be over…"

"You think I'm such a compliant little bitch, don't you?" Bellatrix seethed, angry with how she worded that. It was the truth though, and they both knew it. Still, Narcissa knew it would only piss Bellatrix off further if she told her that, so she said it in a different way.

"No," Narcissa breathed, her nose brushing her sister's cheek as her grip tightened on the back of Bellatrix's neck. "I just know you're mine and that… despite anything that may happen, you still want to be that more than anything." She opened her eyes then, her watery gaze searching her sister's as she finished, "But you're not the only one. It doesn't matter what I do, or what you do— we both know how this ends."

Bellatrix's expression wavered, emotion showing behind the anger that she was supposed to be holding on to. But she couldn't— she never could, because Narcissa was right: they both knew how this was going to end. They might shred each other to ribbons, but they glued themselves back together and to one another time and time again. They didn't know how to do anything different.

Unfortunately for Bellatrix though, Narcissa was serious when she resolved to treat Cassandra the same as her. It was also probably unfortunate for Cassandra in that regard as well, but she might very well deserve to be shredded now too— whatever she was planning with Bellatrix, whether she did it yet or not, if she had sounded that guilty over it then Narcissa knew it was horrible. In the end though, it didn't matter— oh, she'd rip them both apart with such righteous fury for the pain they caused her whenever their little plan came to pass, but she wouldn't leave Cassandra just as she wouldn't leave her sister. If her girlfriend wanted to jump on their fucking merry-go-round of pain and misery, then so be it— it was all Narcissa knew anyway, and perhaps she was an idiot for thinking she could ever have anything different.

Bellatrix looked at her, her breathing uneven and hatred still burning bright in her eyes, and yet there was something more, something else, and it was that something that caused Bellatrix to crush her lips to Narcissa's, kissing her in a wave of devastation and possessiveness as she furthered her sister's claims that no matter what happened between them, they would always find their way back to this place. And this was stupid to do, honestly— they were in Cassandra's house, and even with Muffliato cast the children were just downstairs, and yet Narcissa wanted to feel something good with Bellatrix so desperately that she started tearing off the other woman's clothes as she kissed her back with just as much passion as she was receiving, acutely aware of how awful she was for doing this when she had just told Cassandra a few hours ago that she was her priority now.

Why couldn't she ever change?

Bellatrix had her naked in an impressive amount of time and as Bellatrix's teeth latched on to the base of her neck Narcissa moaned, her fingers curling in a mess of dark hair as her sister continued to weaken her in more ways than one. "Bella," she breathed, her hands finding the other woman's breasts before she kissed her again, backing her sister up towards the bed. Narcissa got on top for once, but she was sure it was only because Bellatrix allowed it as she seemed to have a plan as she placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder, pushing her down her body.

"Fuck me with your mouth," she demanded breathlessly, her breasts heaving in arousal over how easily she could get Narcissa to do whatever it was that she bloody wanted, even when she was angry with her. "I want that bitch to taste me on your tongue when you kiss her later."

In some weird way, Bellatrix calling Cassandra a bitch actually comforted Narcissa, as certainly if they were having an affair then she wouldn't, right? It was another reason Narcissa had been getting paranoid; Bellatrix using Cassandra's name, acknowledging her position in Narcissa's life, pointed to an understanding that, coupled with Bellatrix's touchy bullshit made Narcissa feel as though her heart were being carved out of her chest. But then again, an affair didn't have to be romantic, and Narcissa wouldn't put it past Bellatrix to repeatedly fuck a woman she hated just to hurt her.

She couldn't think that way though.

Still, Bellatrix was an idiot if she thought that was going to happen— she would definitely brush her teeth before she kissed Cassandra, and she also… really did not want the other woman to know that she had done this, as she knew it would shred her; once again, Narcissa's true priorities were being made crystal clear, and for the umpteenth time, Cassandra got the short end of the stick. Yet even with that knowledge it did not stop Narcissa from going down on her sister, her tongue getting lost between the woman's folds as she solidified her own shitty personality even more.

It was hard though— Narcissa didn't want to hurt Cassandra, but Bellatrix had always owned her in a way that no one else ever had. Besides, it wasn't like this fixed anything between them; Bellatrix was still going to be angry with her, and Narcissa was still going to let her be because she knew it was only a matter of time until she calmed down, and it was just easier to try to simmer her sister's rage in the meantime. Sleeping with Bellatrix would give the woman a sense of power and control that Bellatrix felt had been ripped away from her ever since she found out her sister's heart had also belonged to another, and maybe if she felt good for three seconds, they might be able to have a pleasant holiday. And, in the end, wasn't that what really mattered? They had their kids to think about, after all, and as awful as it might be, they had to be more important than Cassandra's feelings.

God, Narcissa hated how her brain worked sometimes. Her justifications were becoming more and more ridiculous as she tried to talk her way into convincing herself that she wasn't doing anything wrong when deep down she knew exactly what she was doing, and how utterly horrible she was being for allowing it to happen here, now, in the house of the other woman that she loved.

"Fuck— that's right, Cissy… fucking apologize to me with that lying little mouth of yours…"

Jesus. She was so fucking annoying sometimes. Okay, fine, Bellatrix needed to feel like she was 'winning' with this, but she needed to shut up, which Narcissa wasted no time informing her as she slipped her fingers inside of her sister and crawled up her body, not about to just lap at her cunt like some kind of compliant kitten while Bellatrix talked shit to her. "Shut the fuck up and come for me, Bellatrix," Narcissa demanded as she corkscrewed her fingers inside of her sister, stealing whatever retort was about to fall from Bellatrix's lips as she coaxed a deep groan from the back of her throat instead.

"Mmm… I love it when you get angry with me, lover; fucking destroy me for all I'm doing to you, because trust me, Cissy, you don't even know the half of it yet—" Bellatrix goaded her, seeing the determination in her sister's eyes as Narcissa hovered over her, using the back of her thigh as leverage as she fucked Bellatrix harder, just wanting her to Shut. The. Fuck. Up!

You don't even know the half of it yet…

Narcissa's free hand went to her sister's throat and she pressed down— not hard enough to bruise or cut off her air completely, but definitely hard enough to make a point. Bellatrix loved it though, which both infuriated Narcissa yet still managed to turn her on because they were a mess, and she went to work on completely ruining her sister as Narcissa fucking prayed to anyone who was listening that Bellatrix was just talking shit, and she wasn't doing what Narcissa feared she was.

Bellatrix came with a loud shout, making Narcissa thankful that she had cast the silencing charm at least. The blonde took her hand off of her sister's throat and, whoops, maybe she did bruise her a little— not that Bellatrix didn't deserve it though. Narcissa's chest was heaving with the amount of effort she had exerted, but Bellatrix's eyes were still alight with purpose as she switched their positions, straddling her sister's waist as the mess between her thighs streaked Narcissa's stomach.

"We've been gone too long," Narcissa tried to rationalize, her chest still heaving as she looked up at the woman atop her. Even angry (or maybe especially when she was angry), Bellatrix was ridiculously fucking sexy. Still, they didn't have time for this. "Someone will notice—"

"Ask me how much I care," Bellatrix growled before she collided their lips together in a bruising kiss, her hand falling between them as she wasted no time sliding her fingers deep inside of her lover and, fuck— maybe they could just be quick. Narcissa was stupidly wet already and Bellatrix owed her this because she was still actively trying to ruin her relationship, but Narcissa's rationale failed to realize that simply doing this was messing things up with Cassandra even more until it was later that night, as when they were retiring to bed, Narcissa could feel the other woman's gaze boring a hole into her.

Narcissa chanced a glance at her girlfriend out of the corner of her eye while she was brushing her hair. It had grown out quite a bit since she had last cut it, and while a part of Narcissa wanted to keep it short, another part of her felt like she didn't have the right to pretend she wasn't exactly who she used to be, especially when she kept making the same mistakes over and over. For some reason her hair was becoming synonymous with where she was in life and right then it wasn't anywhere good.

"You were with Bellatrix for a long time," Cassandra mentioned, her tone tense and even as she pulled her night shirt over her head. Shit. Narcissa really did not want Cassandra knowing what she had done— if she was suspicious, fine, Narcissa figured she could just lie her way around it in order to make sure the woman wasn't hurt by her choices, but then again, Narcissa shouldn't have done something that would have required her to lie in the first place. She had been trying very hard to never lie to Cassandra, and yet…

Still, regardless of how guilty that made Narcissa feel, she couldn't have Cassandra know that she was saying one thing and doing another— all it did was further Bellatrix's claims that all she had for her were pretty words and Narcissa didn't want that to be all they were, but sometimes she just… she messed up. Bellatrix fucked her up. Narcissa knew that wasn't an excuse but it was the only justification she had.

"We were discussing how Draco's meeting with the Dark Lord went," Narcissa told her as she continued to run her brush through her hair, able to meet Cassandra's gaze with that as it wasn't technically a lie.

"For an hour an' a half?"

Fuck, had it really been that long? God damn Bellatrix— she always made her get so caught up and it made everything else fall to shit around her. Regardless, Narcissa tried to keep her composure.

"I was upset," she told her as she put the brush back down on the vanity. "Bellatrix had to calm me down before I could face Draco again; I didn't want to upset him. He already knows how hard this is on me, and I don't want to put anything else on his shoulders. He shouldn't have worry about me on top of everything else."

Cassandra just stared at her for a long time and Narcissa knew, she knew the other woman was more than aware that she was being lied to. The blonde's heart dropped. "Right," was all Cassandra offered her, but the word was strained as she furiously put her hair up into a messy bun atop her head before climbing into bed.

Out of desperation, Narcissa dug her hole a little deeper as she tried to convince the woman that she hadn't done what she thought she had with more pretty goddamn words. "Cass— I told you, you're my priority right now. I know we haven't had a chance to really talk yet, but I meant it when I said that. You know that, right?"

"You say a lot of things, Cissa," Cassandra dismissed as she wrapped the covers around her shoulders, facing away from her. Fuck. Fuck. Why did she do this? How fucking difficult would have been for her to just keep her promise, for once? Bellatrix was right— her and Cassandra's crumbling relationship really was entirely her fault.

Narcissa got up from her seat at the vanity, crossing the space between them before she crawled into bed behind her, desperation in her tone. "Cass, I know it's late but maybe we really should… I mean, we need to talk, don't we?" She tried to place a gentle hand atop the other woman's shoulder, but Cassandra just rolled away from her touch as the woman's worst fear was confirmed by Narcissa's lies. She knew now that she would always come second to Bellatrix, and that despite Narcissa's insistence to the contrary, the sad fact was that it only took a couple of hours for the woman she loved to prove Bellatrix's claims to be true— that in the end, all Narcissa really had to offer Cassandra were surface words with absolutely no substance.

Narcissa couldn't blame Cassandra for hating her. She hated herself.

"I don't got anythin' to say to you," Cassandra dismissed her as she shut off the light, shut herself down emotionally, and solidified whatever fucked up deal she had with Bellatrix despite the guilt she had previously felt, as if Narcissa wanted to keep hurting her, then Cassandra no doubt believed that there wasn't any reason why she should not do the same in return.

"Goodnight, Narcissa."

TBC…