Cal's POV

Junior and I sat across from each other in the small room that we shared with the third operative we shipped out with, Ray Nance. Nance was currently watching our target from the roof with the help of a high-powered scope. We were taking turns with 8 hour shifts to gather intelligence and verify the information we had.

Junior and I had been on a handful of missions together, and it was a relief to know that I had someone I knew well and trusted with me. This mission should be a quick in-and-out with no complications, but I hadn't managed to find my zone yet.

"You okay, man?" Junior asked across from me. It must have been obvious.

"Fine, why?"

"You're not acting like yourself. Everything okay at home?" When soldiers brought issues from home with them, they ended up distracted, and distracted could get you dead.

I sighed and scrubbed my hands over my head. "It's been a while since I've left someone at home when I shipped out," I confessed.

Junior smiled and punched my arm. "You leave your family at home every time you ship out," he teased me. Jerk.

"You know what I mean," I grumbled.

"You worried she won't wait for you?" he asked, finally serious again.

My eyes shot up and I glared at him. "Not even a little bit. I just hate knowing that I'm half a world away from her and can't take care of her. Then there's the whole issue of her mom trying to set her up with someone from the Burg. I didn't get to make my place in her life clear enough before I left; I haven't even met her mother."

"I thought you met her dad?" Junior asked.

"I did, but Steph purposely didn't invite her mom. It was a few weeks ago, and neither of us particularly wanted to deal with her objections. I'm regretting that decision right about now."

"Sounds like we need to talk about this so you can get your head in the game. I'd rather you not be focused on this when we go in for the takedown; I need to know you'll have my back, too. What exactly is bothering you about her being at home and you not having met her mom?" Junior pressed.

He was right – I needed to figure this shit out now so I could focus on my job and get back home to my girl safely. I thought about what was really bothering me.

"I realized as I was walking out her bedroom door to leave that I love her, but I didn't tell her. It seems too soon even though I know damn good and well that she's the one," I hesitated for a moment. It wasn't typical for me to discuss feelings with my coworkers, but I needed to get this out. "She went to Sam's christening with me and…Christ, I sound like a woman. There was this moment, with Sam in her arms, where we agreed to someday."

"And you don't want that?" Junior asked with a frown. Apparently I wasn't making sense to him either.

"No, I do, absolutely. Steph's relationship with her mom is complicated and strained. She's never good enough for her mom, and Helen wants to make her into a perfect little homemaker with a Burg husband. I'm regretting now that I didn't meet her mom and make my place in her life crystal clear because it might have prevented any of her mom's attempts to set her up with someone."

"So you're basically projecting your feelings from the Madison situation on Steph and saying you don't think she cares about you enough to stand up to her mother?" Junior asked, and my eyes shot up.

"No," I insisted.

"I think you are," he reiterated. "You haven't left someone back at home waiting for you since Madison, and you're afraid that this will turn out the same way."

I thought about what Junior was saying and realized that he was right; even though I trust Steph, I was scared that the past would repeat itself.

"If this mercenary thing doesn't work out you could do couples therapy," I teased.

Junior chuckled and shook his head. "So you're saying I'm right?" he asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I didn't realize it, but yeah."

"Do you trust her?" he pressed. "Do you really think Steph would cheat on you? Because if you do, you need to get out now."

"No," I said firmly. "Her ex-husband cheated on her and I know she wouldn't do that to anyone; I have no doubts about Steph being faithful."

"Good. So really this all boils down to you being anxious over leaving someone you love at home and wishing you'd told her how much you care."

"You sure you didn't major in psych?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Shut up, man. I'm just trying to make sure your head is where it needs to be so we can all go home safely," said Junior.

"I know, man, and I appreciate it. Yeah, I guess that's really the gist of it."

"Well, let's get our job done and get you back home to your girl so you can meet the mom and tell Steph that you love her then. You good now?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. Let's do this."