200 Kilometers from Uranai Baba's Palace
Driving down the road in a black Mecedes-Benz in the shotgun seat sat the diminutive 'emperor' Pilaf giggling with glee as his ambitions were so close to fruition. In the driver's seat, Mai had a confident smirk while Shu was sitting in the back with an excited grin.
"Should we go over the plan one more time just in case?" Shu asked, peeking his head over one of the front car seats.
"I don't see why not," Pilaf nodded. "We find the brat, break out our new state-of-the-art equipment, squeeze his tail, and nab the Dragon Balls! If the others give us trouble, that brat can be used as leverage!"
"A sound plan, sir," Mai nodded, keeping her eyes on the road.
"Indeed it is!" Pilaf added with glee. "This time I'm guaranteed to have my wish granted by Shenlong, and the world will be mine!"
"If you don't mind me asking, what'll you do once you rule the world?" Shu asked, now curious as to his superior's plans.
"Hm? Well, Obviously, uh, I'd start with… um… I could uh…" Pilaf began to drawl out as he had no clue what he would do, but immediately caught himself and retorted back with a shout. "Nevermind that! That's on a need-to-know basis!"
"Oh. Okay," Shu shrugged with relentment.
"Wait, something's up ahead," Mai announced as she gave a squint to see what's further up the road. What she saw was what looked like a little kid waving at the car, but then recognized the hair… "I-It's the kid!"
"WHAT?!" Pilaf screamed in surprise and horror. "B-But how could he have found us?! The Dragon Ball is hidden and shouldn't be on any radar!"
"O-Orders sir?" Mai stammered, trying to maintain her composure.
"FLOOR IT!" Pilaf ordered with a loud shout. "Better to have that kid as road kill than a thorn in our sides!"
Mai immediately complied and forced the engine of the car to scream and drive well past the speed limit, intent on running down Gokū. The boy looked confused for a moment, but immediately caught onto what the driver was doing and jumped over the speeding vehicle, which upon missing its target, screeched to a halt, kicking up a lot of dirt for about 50 meters.
"Okay, not good guys," Gokū shrugged as he heard the car engine die down. He then got a good look at the three faces in the vehicle and almost immediately recognized them. "Wait a minute! Pilaf?!"
"Crap! He recognized us!" Shu whimpered as he heard the boy's voice. "What're we gonna do sir?!"
"Calm down for one!" Pilaf demanded, followed up with a deep breath of his own to regain his composure. "At least he's alone, so we have an advantage. Let's try negotiation first, and then move to the plan if that fails."
Pilaf opened the box and removed the one star Dragon Ball from within.
"Come on out you guys!" Gokū demanded, keeping on his toes. Caulifla soon dropped out of the sky from Kinto'un next to her friend. "Oh hey. I told you about Pilaf, right?"
"The rice dish or the blue guy who tried to roast you in a metal box?" Caulifla retorted with a cheeky grin.
"You told me about the rice dish," Gokū retorted, smirking at Caulifla's humor. "The Pilaf guy I told you about, along with his goons, are in that car."
"Figures," Caulifla sighed with an eyeroll.
The trio proceeded to step out of the vehicle with confident looks on their faces, but that confidence immediately faded into looks of terror when they saw not just one child with a tail…
"T-THERE'S TWO OF THEM?!" Pilaf screamed in disbelief, all composure he possessed before evaporating in an instant. The self-proclaimed emperor caught his lapse in composure and cleared his throat. "I'm impressed you were able to locate our Dragon Ball."
"Can we cut to the chase?" Gokū sighed with mild annoyance. "You're gonna use the Dragon Balls to rule the world, and I'm not gonna let it happen. You might as well hand that one over."
"Well consider this," Pilaf began, holding his Dragon Ball in front of his face. "If you fight us and you win, I will surrender this ball. If you lose and we win, you'll surrender the 6 you've already gathered."
"How'd you know I have 6?" Gokū asked, though he had a sneaking suspicion it was because of some radar system.
"Haha! I know everything!" Pilaf boasted with a hearty laugh.
"Really?" Caulifla retorted, her grin deepening in smugness. "Because you looked pretty freaked out when you saw that I exist.~"
"YOU'RE NOT INVOLVED IN THIS!" Pilaf shouted with renewed anger.
"I'm feeling pretty involved," Caulifla retorted, folding her arms and casually tilting her head to the side. "Look, I dunno what your deal is, but we have a friend that needs that last ball more than some little blue goblin in a clown costume."
"C-Clown… costume…?" Pilaf stammered quietly, an absolutely stupefied look on his face, before it morphed into a red-tinted visage of petty anger. "YOU DARE INSULT THE GREAT EMPEROR PILAF?! CAPSULES AWAY!"
With that, Pilaf and his minions each drew from their sleeves a capsule before giving it a click and tossing it to the ground. From the resulting 3 explosions came the most odd assortment of robots. One was very obtuse, for lack of a better word, with large arms and stubby legs, which Mai quickly hopped into and powered on. Shu took the one that was more the complete opposite with very long legs and tiny gun-like arms connected to a pod-like torso, and Pilaf - fitting for his stature - took the smallest one, which was nothing more than a pod with stubby arms and legs.
"Wahahahaha!" Pilaf laughed maniacally as his voice was carried through his mech's speaker system. "What do you think?! You brats should surrender now, for the Pilaf Machine is invincible!"
"Is this guy for real?" Caulifla asked Gokū, gesturing a thumb to the odd trio's mech suits.
"He's weird," Gokū shrugged. "But whatever. These guys are looking for a fight."
"Confident, are ya?" Pilaf interrupted the duo's conversation. "If you're gonna mock the mechanical marvels my genius has created, you'll regret it! Humans are but ants compared to its power!"
Pilaf's mech extended a pointed finger towards the monkey children. "Mai! Show them how terrible this machine really is!"
"W-What?!" Mai Stammered, her voice amplified over her own loudspeaker. "W-Why don't you give the first demonstration?"
"HOW DARE YOU ARGUE WITH ME?!" Pilaf shouted back. "Do you not trust the Pilaf Machine?!"
"How 'bout I show you how terrible that bucket of bolts is personally?~" Caulifla suggested before she sent a flying kick square into Pilaf's diminutive mech, sending it flying for several meters before it crashed into a nearby cliff face, prompting the other disproportionate mechs to rush over to the fallen one's aid.
"Lord Pilaf, sir!" Shu cried out. "Are you alright?!"
"Do I look alright?!" Pilaf shouted back as his mech wobbily got back to its feet. "Alright, screw it! All troops stand by! Deploy the ultimate tail squeeze!"
"Yes sir!" Mai and Shu cried out in unison as the trio began to encircle the spiky-haired children.
"'Tail squeeze?'" Caulifla repeated as she wrapped her tail gently around her waist. "These guys were spying on us!"
"We can still take these guys down!" Gokū dismissed, also wrapping his tail and placing his back against Caulifla's. "They can't get our tails if we're back-to-back!"
"Nice thinking," Caulifla said with a smirk.
"Oh crap!" Pilaf cursed. "We can't get their tails! We need a new plan! Hey you two! Time out, okay?"
The three mechs soon ran over to the side and huddled, hushed whispers carrying from their loudspeakers. Gokū let out an annoyed groan while Caulifla simply palmed her face.
"This is just embarrassing," Caulifla sighed as she slid her hand down her face. "How 'bout the moment they get back, we charge 'em, okay?"
"Read my mind," Gokū sighed. "These guys are so weird they're annoying."
Eventually the whispering ceased as the Pilaf crew broke and returned to their targets at large.
"Hahaha! Sorry to keep you wai-"
"Oh shut up!" Gokū shouted as he interrupted Pilaf's boasting with a heavy punch, sending his mech rolling away.
Caulifla took this opportunity to charge at the largest mech piloted by Mai and dove down to deliver a sweeping kick at the obtuse vehicle's proportionally stubby legs, but in a panic, Mai was able to grip Caulifla with her larger mechanical arms and held her as tight as she could. Shu walked over and his gun-like arms unleashed a torrent of fire aimed at the entrapped girl, but Gokū immediately delivered a swift kick to the taller mech, sending it toppling over and followed up with a swift slash of his Nyoibō along one of Mai's arms, severing the large portion of machine clean off. The boy sighed as he put the red pole back in its holster, but immediately blushed and turned his attention away from his friend and back to the offending mechs, bracing his ears for the worst.
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"
Caulifla let out a furious scream of anger and embarrassment as her face turned red as a brick. She dove for a nearby shrub to hide her shame, and threw her scimitar at the mech piloted by the ninja fox, the blade cutting its legs clean off and causing the pod to topple over. "Kick their asses Gokū!"
"You went and made Caulifla mad!" Gokū snarled as he swung his Nyoibō at the offending mechs as to dice them to pieces. By the time he finished his attack, the oblong mechs crumbled to pieces, leaving the 3 vulnerable pilots unscathed, standing around a bunch of finely cut shrapnel, and absolutely trembling.
"W-We didn't even test out the combiner function of the machine…" Shu stammered, unable to move from his spot.
"W-What is this kid…?" Mai asked, trying her best not to wet herself.
"T-This isn't over! You haven't seen the last of Emperor Pi-"
Pilaf began to defiantly boast before Gokū threw an interrupting punch at the imp's face - a very pulled punch - that sent him flying and sliding against the ground in an unconscious heap. Goku deftly caught the Dragon Ball that fell from Pilaf's grip. The boy turned his attention to the self-proclaimed emperor's subordinates who immediately flinched backwards, but then Gokū turned his attention squarely to Shu.
"You owe my friend some new clothes," Gokū said sternly, a steely gaze staring at the fox man.
"O-Of course sir!" Shu whimpered as he began to remove his gi, leaving himself in a tank top and boxers. He handed over his gi and backed away, trembling the entire time. "H-Here you go."
"Your boss is a nutcase, you know that?" Gokū sighed as he turned to deliver the appropriated gi to his friend, all while averting his gaze for her benefit. He paused for a moment, not turning back to face the two. "Oh, and unless you guys want the same beating as your boss, I suggest you book it!"
Immediately Mai and Shu kicked themselves into overdrive, scooping up their unconscious blue leader and piling into their car, slamming on the gas and driving away. Caulifla meanwhile got herself dressed in Shu's gi, grumbling to herself and face still tinted red.
"Thanks for that," Caulifla sighed, finally simmering down. She noticed Gokū was still looking away. "I'm decent now."
"No problem," Gokū said with a sigh, seeing his friend again, but still averting eye contact. "We should probably head back and pick up Upa."
"Yeah," Caulifla said, averting eye contact as well. "KINTO'UN!"
The yellow cloud descended from the sky and parked itself in front of the two children. They both hopped aboard and Gokū beckoned the magical cloud to return to Uranai Baba's palace. The two sat there in awkward silence for the whole trip, but the silence was broken at the very end.
"There it is!" Gokū exclaimed, pointing down to the structure down below. "Hey everyone!"
Oh hey! Gokū's back!" Kuririn announced, looking up at the sky and seeing the familiar yellow contrail.
"Looks like those two got it," Rōshi said, a smile twitching under his facial hair.
The two children disembarked from their cumulus transport while Gokū held up the one star Dragon Ball with a triumphant grin on his face.
"You found it!" Bulma cheered, seeing the amber relic once again. "Where was it?"
"And what happened to your clothes?" Kuririn asked Caulifla, whose face began to turn red and frown.
"Pilaf," Gokū and Caulifla said simultaneously. Bulma gave a knowing 'oooooh' while Kuririn wanted to push the matter further.
"Pilaf? What's a rice dish got to-"
"Kuririn, don't," Gokū interrupted his bald friend, immediately taking notice of Caulifla's temper. "Trust me, you don't want to push this one."
"I'll take your word for it," Kuririn nodded once he saw Caulifla's frown warp into an expression of anger, before it finally subsided.
"Anyways, let's get Upa back to Karin Sanctuary!" Gokū announced as he and Caulifla boarded Kinto'un once more, and helped the tribal boy aboard. "We'll be back when we're done, guys!"
With that, Kinto'un zoomed off for Upa's homeland, where the dragon god Shenlong can finally be summoned.
"Aw man," Kuririn sighed. "I wanted to see this Shenlong as well."
"Maybe next time, lad," Rōshi said, planting a hand on the monk's shoulder.
"Those two dismantled an army and 5 champions just to revive someone who was killed," Yamcha commented. "Those two are something else."
"More than you realize," Uranai Baba added. "Those two will save the world one day."
This left everyone speechless, for they knew Uranai Baba could see the future, but it was clear she was leaving out how or when. All they could do was stand in awe at how amazing those two are.
Karin Sanctuary
Kinto'un parked itself next to the large totem pole and everyone disembarked. Gokū gently rolled the Dragon Balls from a satchel onto the grass. The balls appeared to glow a tad brighter as they were all within close proximity with each other.
"Alright, ready to get your wish Upa?" Gokū asked the tribe boy.
"Y-Yes sir!" Upa hesitantly nodded, hiding behind a nearby tree. Cauliifla was now eager to see this mythical dragon for the first time.
"Alright," Gokū sighed, holding his hands in front of the seven amber spheres. "Come forth Shenlong! We summon you to grant our wish!"
At first, nothing happened, but then the seven orange spheres began to pulse with a golden light, and the sky, which was once bright and blue as day, turned black as night, as if to herald the arrival of a god. Clouds began to rumble, and soon a loud thunderous clap emitted from the Dragon Balls as a long bolt of lightning shot from the gathered spheres, soon coiling into a more snake-like form around the totem pole of Karin Tower. As the light faded, green scales took their place, with large, muscular arms tipped with razor-sharp claws lining a serpentine body. At the end of the trail was a large dragon's head with stag horns shooting out of its skull, impossibly long feelers just below its nostrils waving carelessly in the air, and blood-red eyes that gazed upon the three below. When all the light faded from the body, a gust of wind blew to finalize the appearance.
Shenlong had been summoned.
"This… This is unreal!" Caulifla gasped as she saw the giant serpentine dragon coil itself comfortably around the totem pole, its tail ending in the impossibly bright light where the Dragon Balls were.
"He's as awesome as last time!" Gokū gasped as he had seen the impressive serpent once before, but to see him upclose was a completely different experience.
"You who have disturbed my slumber," Shenlong spoke, his voice booming and ominous. "Reflect upon your desires. I shall grant any wish, but only one..."
"That's your cue, Upa!" Gokū turned to the tribe boy, who was practically trembling at the sight of this god of dragons.
"R-Right," Upa nodded, trying to steel himself for the wish. "Great Shenong, My father, Bora, was murdered by an assassin! My wish is to bring him back to life!"
"Can it be done?" Gokū asked, wanting to make certain.
"Resurrecting a fallen mortal is a trifle," Shenlong answered, giving a slow nod with his large head. "It shall be done…"
With a low grumble that reverberated throughout the entire area, Shenlong's eyes widened slightly and began to glow a brighter red. Over by Bora's grave, the recently disturbed soil began to shake, as the man buried there slowly dug himself out, looking none the worse for wear, but absolutely surprised and confused. Upa, meanwhile, saw his father, once again among the world of the living, and immediately raced over to hug him, tears of joy rolling down the boy's face.
"Upa?!" Bora said as he held his crying son. "That's right… I was…"
"You were killed, Father," Upa finished, wiping the tears from his face. "Son Gokū and Caulifla gathered the Dragon Balls and brought you back!"
"He...?" Bora gasped, seeing the large dragon god above his land. "Amazing…"
"Your wish is granted," Shenlong said, his voice as booming as ever. "Farewell…"
Shenlong's body vanished, and the Dragon Balls began to rise up into the sky. Gokū's eyes were tracking one of the seven spheres in particular. The spheres collided with one another, and immediately they began to scatter. That is when Gokū leapt up and caught the one he was tracking. When he landed, the sphere was a pale stone, and the sky, once as black as night, returned to day as Shenlong's presence had faded.
Caulifla fell onto her backside and let out a massive sigh, holding another white stone in her hand.
"That… was amazing!" Caulifla sighed, feeling out of breath from the whole experience.
"Gokū! Caulifla!" Upa called out as he ran towards his friends. "Why did you jump up just now?"
"When a wish is granted, the Dragon Balls scatter across the world," Gokū answered, holding the now inert four star Dragon Ball for all to see. "I just grabbed my Grandpa Gohan's ball before that."
"B-But, it's stone," Upa stammered, having a tough time believing that was the same amber bauble that caused so much trouble.
"They turn to stone after the dragon disappears. They'll turn back after a year. Which one did you catch, Caulifla?"
"Me?!" Caulifla exclaimed, feeling caught red-handed, but relented, a small blush forming over her face. "The uh, Six Star Ball. The first one we found."
"Son Gokū, Caulifla, I cannot thank you enough!" Bora thanked the duo.
"It was nothing!" Gokū dismissed with his trademark goofy grin.
"They climbed Karin Tower, Father!" Upa explained, with newfound glee. "They also defeated the assassin who killed you!"
"You two truly are a blessing upon this land," Bora congratulated.
"Well, we better get going," Gokū said as he called down Kinto'un.
"So soon?" Bora asked, feeling off-put by the sudden departure. "Won't you stay just a little longer? Enough for a feast of gratitude?"
"I'd love to, but we said we'd be back after we finished here," Caulifla said. "We'll come by to visit when we can though!"
"Yeah!" Gokū nodded as he jumped atop a parked Kinto'un, followed by Caulifla. "Oh, and Upa, if you decide to climb Karin Tower, Tell Master Karin we said hello!"
"Sure thing!" Upa nodded. The final good-byes were said and Kinto'un was off.
Uranai Baba's Palace
"No, your balance is off," Muten Rōshi criticized as Bulma was practicing martial arts forms. "Place your left foot forward some."
"If it wasn't for this shell, my balance would be fine," Bulma snarled back, complying with the instructions given to her.
"And the trick is to know how to adapt, lass," Rōshi retorted. "Adjusting your form to whatever is weighing you down, physically, or mentally, is important, as-"
"Hey guys! Gokū's back again!" Kuririn announced as he pointed to the sky, the familiar contrail of Kinto'un zooming towards them.
"We're back!" Gokū exclaimed as the duo hopped off. "Upa's father is back to life!"
"It worked?!" Bulma asked, suddenly breaking form to rush over and greet her friends.
"Yep!" Caulifla nodded. "And I couldn't be happier to be wrong about genie logic!"
"And as an added bonus," Gokū began as he pulled out a smooth stone sphere and held it out for everyone to see. "I don't have to wait a year to hunt them all down again!"
"Y-You caught it?!" Bulma stammered "I didn't even think you were that fast!"
"Caulifla caught one as well!" Gokū said, his excitement getting the better of him.
"Yeah," Caulifla sighed as she held out her own stone sphere. "Let's hope we don't mix 'em up before the year is out."
The group let out a hearty chuckle at Caulifla's words.
"Well, now to train for the next Tenka'ichi Budōkai!" Gokū announced. "I'd ask if we could train with you, Muten Rōshi, but-"
"That's fine lad," Rōshi interrupted. "There is nothing more for me to teach either you or Caulifla. I want you two to go out there and learn all you can from the wide world, training the entire way. The world is vast and strange, and countless adventures await you! And every one of them is an opportunity to learn, grown stronger. When the time comes, I want you to come back in 3 years and amaze me with what you've learned!"
"Sounds fun!" Gokū nodded, almost dismissing the epicness of Rōshi's speech, causing him to comically fall over. "But, 3 years? I thought the Budōkai was once every 5 years."
"Actually, I heard that because of how popular the last one went, along with the number of participants, they've switched up the schedule."
"3 years, huh?" Caulifla shrugged. "Plenty of time to train and get stronger! And maybe Kuririn will get taller.~"
"I will get taller!" Kuririn shouted, annoyed by Caulifla's choice of words.
"I'll be sure to squash you two next time!" Yamcha boasted. "I'll be having Muten Rōshi train me as well!"
"Good luck with that, buddy," Gokū responded, a challenging smirk adorned on his face. "Hey Bulma, since you're training, are you gonna enter also?"
"Nah," Bulma said. "I'm mostly training for the heck of it. Home can get annoying with my parents around, plus I have some ideas on how to apply it."
"Well alright then," Gokū shrugged. "KINTO-"
"HOLD IT!" Rōshi interrupted, bringing Gokū's call for his fluffy mode of transport to a halt. "Don't use Kinto'un! Travel the world by walking, running, swimming, and climbing! It will be better training that way!"
"That sounds cool and all," Caulifla spoke up. "But we take our Oozaru training to the Gizzard Wastelands. I think that'll make a valid exception, right?"
"Hm, fair point," Rōshi sighed. "Alright, But only for nights of the full moon!"
"Alright, we'll be off then!" Gokū announced as he and Caulifla began to run off to parts unknown. The casual nature of their departure left everyone speechless.
"Those two really are something else," Rōshi muttered.
"And a great master teaches what he preaches, doesn't he?~" Baba whispered in Muten Rōshi's ear, causing the old master to flinch and turn to address everyone present.
"Well, I suppose we can all run back to the house!" The Kame-Sennin called out, earning several dumbfounded exclamations.
"Hold up!" Bulma shouted.
"It's all training lass!"
"No, I meant let's run to Capsule Corp first! I want to get Dr. Checka and Gebo settled in."
"Oh. Well alright! To Capsule Corp!"
"How did we get roped into this?" Gebo muttered as he jogged alongside the others.
"Well, at the very least, we'll be able to start anew, son," Checka sighed as she tried to keep pace. "I need to lay off the pastries..."
A/N: Okay, not much to say about this chapter. The title was too good to pass up, and I wanted to incorporate that joke. And as much fun as it is to torment the oddball trio, I did not want them to overstay their welcome with their damn mix 'n match robot set. So yeah, I trashed that. As for the presence of Shenlong, I wanted to make that feel epic, since it would be the first time I had him summoned in my story, along with having 2 fresh witnesses. But yeah. The 3 year timeskip has... Yet to begin, because I still have a few key chapters to do. I do have a fun idea for a chapter down the line, but I will reserve it for when I wrap up before the timeskip. Do leave a review sharing your thoughts, and for the love of Odin's eye socket, please leave a review that isn't just pestering me about my update frequency! You know who you are... Okay, review grievances aside, I hope this was a fun read. :)