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Standard disclaimer.
Second last chapter.
Warning: This is the funeral chapter, but no real mentions of death.
Mercedes sat between her brother and Sam during her sister's funeral.
Before, the visitation hour had been brutal.
Standing next to her sister's casket, while everyone repeated over and over again, how wonderful she looked, was almost more than she could bear.
Only Sam's hand holding hers, had kept her grounded in place. Without him, she would have bolted from the room.
Her mother had stood beside her, chatting through her drug-induced fog, anchored firmly by her father, while Boston had shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, on Sam's other side.
As soon as it ended, she had escaped to the restroom for a few moments to compose herself, before walking back out to find Sam waiting for her.
He had taken her hand, not saying a word, and led her towards the chapel.
It had been surprised to Mercedes, to see her friends and coworkers from Denver, sitting a few rows behind the family pews.
Lisa, Marlene, Lana and Cathy, had all stood to hug her, while Jason, Warrick, Winston and Stevie, had conveyed their sympathies with a brief embrace.
Mercedes was further surprised, when Noah Puckerman and Stacie Evans walked up behind them.
They both hugged her as well, and she felt her eyes starting to burn with tears, at the show of support from her friends.
She had never expected to see familiar faces this far from Myrtle Beach, and she was touched, that so many had made the trip.
She was also glad to see Lisa looking so well, after everything she had been through recently. That she would be here now, meant so much to her.
As the rest of the family started to take their places, Sam put his arm around Mercedes, steering her towards their pew.
"Come on, baby, the service is starting," he said and her legs locked in place for a moment.
She didn't want to do this.
She didn't want to say this final good-bye to her sister.
Her friends looked on in sympathy, seeming to read her thoughts.
But Sam held her and leaned down to whisper in her ear,
"It's okay, just lean on me."
Her brain seemed to obey those words and her feet started slowly moving forwards.
They slid into the pew beside Boston and Mercedes allowed Sam to draw her firmly into his side.
He had promised her the day before, to give her anything she needed and he was doing it so far.
She would have never made it without him today. She wondered idly if he knew that.
Mercedes had perfected a process for surviving funerals, when she was little and it automatically kicked in, when the opening prayers began.
First, she started by counting the light fixtures in the chapel, then the windows, then the pews, then the people.
When that was finished, she started all over again.
She had made numerous passes around the room, when she looked up to see Sam watching her.
At some point, he had started following her eyes and she could have sworn, that he knew exactly what she was doing.
Next to her, Boston, too, stared off into the distance.
Farther down the pew, she saw tears trailing silently down her mother's cheeks, as she stared sightlessly ahead, and her father, who had been strong through the entire process, looked more in need of his wife's support, than at any other time since Ramona had passed.
Mercedes almost made it through the entire service without breaking down.
Her mother had insisted on the final songs, and she should have anticipated how difficult it would be, to hear them.
Her mother wanted Ramona remembered for who she was and what she loved.
The lights in the chapel dimmed and images started flickering on the screen, in the front of the chapel.
The song There You'll Be by Faith Hill, played first, as images flashed by of Ramona holding a surfboard, when she was barely old enough to walk.
If you could show a life in pictures, then their mother had certainly managed to do it.
Mercedes had always hated having so many pictures taken by their parents.
Now, as she saw her sister's life played out before her eyes...even though it was incredibly painful to witness...she was happy that their mother had never let an important moment pass, without capturing it.
When the last song, If I Die Young by The Band Perry, started playing, their father finally broke down and hastily left the chapel.
The song had been a favorite of Ramona's, and their mother had wanted it included, even though it wasn't exactly a traditional funeral song.
Neither Mercedes nor her father, had thought it was appropriate for a funeral, but her mother was adamant and Boston, of course, sided with her.
Now, to Mercedes, it felt like her sister was in the room for the first time.
Sobs could be heard from all over the chapel, as the slide show ended.
She hadn't even realized, that she was quietly crying, until Sam pressed his hanky into her hand.
On her other side, Boston wasn't doing much better.
She gripped his hand tightly, as Sam squeezed hers in return. 'I love you, sis, and I always will,' she whispered in her mind.
She remembered Sam telling her that morning,
"This is the worst day you'll ever live through. You may not believe it now, but there will never be another day like today. Each new day will be better than this one."
She clung to those words like a promise, as they left the chapel for the burial.
For once she hadn't argued with him, because, she wanted him to be right with all of her heart.
Hours later, after leaving the chapel and after having to deal with many well-wishers, who had stopped by the Jones' house, Mercedes sighed in relief.
At last the house was quiet and everyone was gone.
She sank gratefully into the tub of steaming water, that Sam had insisted on running for her, before he went back downstairs to check on her parents.
She suspected, that he was really intent on cleaning up any messes left by the barrage of people, who had visited earlier.
As the water eased some of her tension from the day, Mercedes' mind started to drift.
To say that she had been surprised by Sam the last few days, would be an understatement.
Despite how mad and disappointed she was in him when she arrived in Florida, she had to admit, that he had been the glue that had held all of them together.
She had never doubted his organizational skills.
But the man had some serious OCD about stuff like that. And those same traits, had been her family's saving grace.
She figured he had taken one look at them when he arrived and realized, that he needed to take control.
Her father, who could usually be counted on to keep an even keel, had looked to him for assistance, with making the funeral arrangements.
Both her mother and Boston had looked to him for everything, from their clothing for the service, to the gathering of friends and family at the house, before and after the service.
And she, had just needed his support.
He knew when she wanted to be alone, when she needed to cry and when she just needed to talk.
He had been their rock and regardless of what happened next, she would always love him for that.
But she also knew that he needed to return home soon, and she felt a pang at the thought of him leaving.
Her friends from work had dropped by the house after the service.
Jason and Cathy had pulled her aside and told her to take the time that she needed with her family and assured her, that her job would be waiting when she was ready to return.
She had been truly touched.
She counted Cathy as a friend, but hadn't often been in a social setting with Jason.
When she had started to thank him, calling him Mr. Denver, since he was, after all, the president of the company, he had gently stopped her, insisting that she call him Jason.
Truthfully, she had been tongue-tied to have their support. But it felt good.
She had promised Lisa that they would catch up soon.
Her friend looked wonderful after her ordeal, but you could hardly miss the protective arm, that her husband, Warrick, kept around her.
Mercedes shivered, realizing that the water had grown cold.
She had been so lost in thought, she hadn't noticed that almost an hour had passed.
She stepped out of the bath, toweling off before grabbing her robe.
In the bedroom, she dressed for comfort, in a long T-shirt, before sliding into bed.
She was still staring at the ceiling when Sam walked in.
She hadn't protested the first night, when he had stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed, pulling her against his chest.
She needed him and they both knew it.
Obviously thinking Mercedes was asleep, Sam crept quietly across the darkened room, going into the bathroom.
She heard the shower running and a while later, the bed shifted, as he settled in beside her.
Without hesitation, she curled onto her side and he settled his big body around hers.
"I thought you were asleep," he murmured against her head.
Suddenly, snuggling back against him, with all of the unknowns between them, seemed wrong.
Despite her mental and physical exhaustion, she needed to know what had been going on with him, for the past few weeks.
Pulling away, she reached over and snapped on the bedside light.
They both blinked like owls for a moment, until they adjusted to the artificial glow.
Sam gave her a wary look, before rolling over onto his back.
He ran his hand through his hair, a habit that she had come to recognize, was caused by stress.
She settled back against the headboard and said,
"I need to know, Sam."
He pulled himself into a sitting position beside her, not bothering to ask what she was talking about.
Without hesitating, he started to speak.
"You know that Quinn and I were once engaged." At her nod, he continued on. "When she came to see me weeks ago, I was shocked. She and I hadn't stayed in touch at all after we parted. She was very quiet and shy when we met. Her father and I were business acquaintances. We fell in love, or what I thought was love, and were soon engaged. Looking back now, I can see that she was never truly happy. Her father was very controlling, so she basically traded one prison for another one, with more freedom. Things took a real nosedive, when she made a new friend who was heavily into the drugs and the party scene. Without betraying her trust too heavily, I'll just say, she got involved with the wrong sort of people and ended up using pretty heavily. She left me standing in a parking lot after dinner one night and took off. That was the last time I saw her, until she showed up in my office that day."
"My God," Mercedes whispered in surprise. "She looked fine when I met her."
"She is...now," Sam agreed, "But it took her a couple of years and hitting rock bottom, to get to that point. She has just recently finished a stint in a rehabilitation facility for drug abuse. The doctor who helped her get treatment, is also her fiancé. She came to town to visit her parents and tell them about what had been happening with her. They really didn't know the level of her addiction or where she had been, since leaving home. I guess, they didn't take it well and were more worried about appearances than their daughter. Her fiancé, Brant, was completely against her visiting her parents and possibly seeing old friends, who were bad influences, this soon after treatment. They had a fight before she left and after her parents turned her away, she didn't feel that she had anywhere else to turn. She wanted somewhere away from all of the pressure, to regroup. I think she also feared relapsing, if she was left on her own for too long."
Mercedes found herself running a hand through her hair, in much the same nervous gesture, that he had used earlier.
His story explained why Quinn was staying with him, but didn't explain why he had been pulling away from her.
She feared that there was an explanation, she wasn't going to want to hear.
Choosing her words carefully, she asked,
"Is she still staying with you?"
"No, I asked her to leave before I came here to you. Merce...something happened while she was staying with me, that I haven't told you about."
Mercedes nodded her head for him to continue, even though she wasn't sure she wanted to know.
If he had slept with Quinn, she didn't think she could get passed it...not now.
When he remained quiet, she prodded him softly.
"Please tell me, Sam. I can't stand not knowing."
Clearing his throat, he said,
"Remember the night I went out to dinner with her? I called you afterwards. I'm sure you noticed on the phone, that I'd had too much to drink."
When she agreed that she had, he continued on.
"Well, the next morning, she thanked me for agreeing to see if there were still romantic feelings between us. She needed to know, before making a final commitment to Brant. I didn't know what in the hell she was talking about. The only thing I remembered encouraging her to do, was go back to school. I...just...fuck. I panicked. When Warrick needed someone to cover his travel for a while, I jumped at it. I was scared, because, I was falling in love with you and there she was, making me doubt myself. Making me question my feelings. I realized after you left, that the only thing I was really afraid of, was loving and losing you. I never felt about Quinn, the way I feel about you. She simply brought all of my fears to the surface. I was terrified of making a mistake and being destroyed by it again."
"That's why you were pulling away from me," Mercedes added. "I guess, you being sick was just an excuse too. But did you sleep with her?"
"No! Hell no, I didn't. There really wasn't anything physical involved. The day she told me that I'd agreed to see where things went, I left town. Things with Quinn were never like they are between you and me. She isn't someone to initiate physical contact beyond a hug."
Stiffening, Mercedes asked,
"Are you saying I'm all over you?"
"Shit, no, baby. Well, I mean, yes, I want you all over me, every moment of the day. I can't keep my hands off you. But I don't feel like that towards her...I never did."
"I knew in my gut, that something was wrong, when you avoided me like the plague, after you returned home from your trip. I thought you were sleeping with her."
Sam took her hand before saying,
"I didn't sleep with Quinn. I know how this looks, but I swear, nothing happened between us, other than what I've told you."
Mercedes sighed, partly relieved and partly hurt.
"I believe you...but damn it...you've had me on a complete emotional roller coaster. I thought we crossed into a new place in our relationship while you were away. Our phone calls every night, made me believe that we were on the same page. Then, you came home and immediately started pushing me away. I was totally confused. I thought you wanted Quinn and was just afraid to admit it to me. It was almost like going on a date with someone who never calls again and you're left wondering what went wrong."
Sam pulled her into his arms, holding her close.
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. I know I made a fucking mess out of everything. I know you weren't completely comfortable with her staying with me and I don't blame you. I'd have been a mess, if the circumstances were reversed. Hell, I almost cussed my happily married brother out, for taking you home that night."
A little chuckle escaped Mercedes' lips, before reality returned.
"I just...it's hard for me to get passed the fact that you kept all of this from me. I know we hadn't officially made any promises to each other, but you hurt me, Sam."
"Mercedes, I lo..."
She put her finger to his lips, stopping what she knew was coming.
"Please don't. Not right now. I need some time to process everything. I never want to look back and think that you said that to me for the first time under duress."
She reached over and clicked off the lamp, before turning back to him.
"No words tonight, just take me away for a while," she ended.
Without comment, Sam pulled her into his arms and even though she didn't think it was possible, within moments, there was nothing on her mind but him.
His arms holding her, his body possessing hers and his mouth laying siege to every inch of skin she exposed.
Where she would have rushed to completion, he gentled her, drawing more waves of pleasure from her body.
No words of love were spoken, no promises made.
Instead, she felt him use his body to show her a love, that took her breath away.
Afterwards, she lay spent across his chest, feeling their hearts hammer in tempo.
She drifted away, as she felt his lips brush her forehead. And the first real sleep she'd had in days claimed her.
When Mercedes woke in the morning, Sam's side of the bed was already cold and she knew without looking around the room, that his suitcase was gone.
On his pillow, written on a scrap piece of paper, that he had obviously found in the room, was a note.
Flying back with Noah and the others this morning. I don't want to leave, but I'm giving you the time you need. I'll be waiting, baby. Love, S.
For the first time since the nightmare had begun, she cried herself dry, to a point where there were no tears left.
She didn't try to make herself stop or put a time limit on her grief, she just cried, until it wasn't possible to cry anymore.
Stay safe!