Waves of Hope
Chapter Twenty-five
Edward
Saturday morning is a blur.
Thanks to our helpers, we just about manage to keep the babies on their schedule while we fill up all the vehicles. During our five months here in Tampa, we've accumulated a lot of stuff. I didn't realize just how much until we're cramming bassinets, tubs of clothes, and the few boxes of diapers and wipes we have left here into every nook and cranny.
Wedging the last bassinet behind my seat in Big Blue, I breathe a big sigh of relief and step back to tip my face to the sun. It's a beautiful day. The sky is a calm blue, not a cloud anywhere in sight as a gentle breeze flows over me. My hair hangs over my forehead until I sweep it back, and that's one thing I'm looking forward to losing when we get home. A haircut is one of the first things on my to-do list—along with figuring out where we're going to live when we quickly outgrow our house and how I'm going to juggle my work responsibilities with my family.
Garrett and Tanya's daughter is due in less than a month, so I'll soon be losing not just him, but Tanya, too. She's working up until next week when she hits thirty-six weeks, then I'll be short two of my most valuable staff members at a time when I can't try and take on the extra workload myself.
"There you are. I wondered where you'd disappeared off to."
Then Bella's voice washes over me, her smile bright as the sun as she strolls out of the lobby, sliding her shades into her hair, and everything takes a backseat.
I'm so grateful for the calm she radiates.
Actually, I'm just grateful for her, period.
Pulling her into my arms, I breathe her in and press a kiss against her crown. "I love you," I murmur, but it's not enough. Those three little words don't even touch the edges of the magnitude of my feelings for her.
She's everything. All the pretty words, all the heartfelt declarations, all the beats of my battered, patchwork heart.
"I love you," Bella whispers, pulling away just enough to offer me a small, understanding smile.
I gave in and told her about the dream I had.
After waking her on five different occasions, startling out of that recurring goddamn nightmare hard enough to drag her from sleep with me, I had no choice. We both cried, but I fell apart into so many pieces that even Bella had to admit she didn't know what to do to put me back together again. Weekly phone calls to Kendra while I'm away from the Bay are helping. I don't know what that will look like when we're home, whether I'll be able to see her in person or if the sessions will have to continue over the phone, but I'll make it work. I need to be the best man, the best father. I can't do that with my head stuck in the past.
The part of me that broke when Willow died will always be a part of me. I just need to learn to live with it instead of letting it control my thoughts and emotions.
Her gray eyes soften when I reach up to palm her cheek. "I can't believe this day is finally here."
"Neither can I."
It feels like forever since I've been home and it's only been a matter of days; I was in Jackson Bay with the boys last weekend.
But Bella hasn't been back to her hometown, to our home, since April.
"Are you excited?" As soon as the words leave my mouth, I laugh. Bella does, too. "Sorry, dumb question."
"Very dumb," she agrees lightly. "I'm so excited I can barely stand it." Her eyes wander to the palms swaying on the sidewalk, the low hum of traffic mixing with her soft sigh as she leans into my chest, her cheek over my heart. "I'll probably cry when we pull onto our street."
Chuckling even as I squeeze her tighter, I admit, "I probably will, too. You've turned me into a big ball of mush."
"You were already a big ball of mush, handsome. You just needed to learn how to let it all out."
She's right, of course. I'm not going to be the one to tell her that though, so I just hum instead and admit that we should head back inside. It's almost time to feed the babies, and then…
It's time to hit the road.
~ oOo ~
Halfway back to Jackson Bay, we pull our caravan into the parking lot attached to a Wendy's. Hauling all fourteen of us over to the sheltered deck, we line the babies up on one of the few unoccupied tables, stealing a few extra chairs from some of the gawpers staring at our family.
Honestly, it's uncomfortable as hell having everyone staring and whispering, but we distract ourselves by getting bottles ready. We've timed this just right and the babies are just starting to fuss when we pluck them out of their seats.
"C'mere, buddy," I murmur, cradling River with a laugh as his eyes widen as soon as he spots the bottle coming toward him. Looking around at the corner of the deck we've commandeered., I can't help but smile as I sit my ass down. Dad has Rylee, Alice has Asher, Jasper is holding Mackenzie, and Renee is cooing to Oakley, which leaves Caben with his favorite person in the world.
He has great taste. Bella is mine, too.
Her eyes catch mine and my heart swells. She's unashamedly breastfeeding our son, her confidence making her entire face glow with happiness as she strokes Caben's tufty hair and gazes down at him. A lump lodges itself in my throat when his tiny hand comes up, his fingers toying with the initial charms hanging around Bella's neck.
By the time the babies are all fed, changed into fresh diapers, and tucked back into their seats, we're done fielding questions from well-meaning but nosy strangers. I guess it's something we're going to have to get used to unless we want to become hermits, but man, is it weird.
As soon as Matty and Marcus finish their dinner, we haul ass, loading ourselves back into our vehicles. The others switch around a bit and we end up with Everly and Dad in the back, squished between car seats the way Renee and Alice were on the first leg of the journey. There are three rows of seats behind me and Bella—two of three and then the back row of four. Dad is in that last row with River, Asher, and Mackenzie. Everly is in the row in front of him with Oakley, and then in the seats directly behind me and Bella are Rylee and Caben.
This configuration means that we have eyes on all the babies and it takes a lot of the stress off of us during our first—and last for a long while at least—road trip with the sixers.
Not long after we set off, I hear Bella heave a big sigh.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm looking forward to getting home," she says, trailing off. "I didn't realize how hard it would be to say goodbye to this chapter of our lives. I'm going to miss all the friends we made there."
"I am, too."
Saying goodbye to our friends at the hospital, to the staff who quickly became friends and then honorary family members as they helped us through some of the roughest months of our life, was far more difficult than I anticipated. I think we were both surprised by how quickly we bonded with everybody.
"We met some amazing people, but Bella, they're only a few hours away. We can come back. And you know May's gonna want to come see us."
When I briefly glance over, she's silent but smiling. "Yeah, I know you're right, it's just…"
"Scary? Overwhelming? Bittersweet?" I offer ruefully when she trails off.
Laughing lightly, Bella reaches over to squeeze my thigh. "All of the above, actually. But I think we're ready for this...right?"
My eyes shift to the rearview as we slow a little, hitting the tail-end of a pocket of slow-moving traffic. Dad is engrossed in his book and Everly is bopping to the music playing through her headphones. Behind us we have Jasper and Marcus in my Jeep, Renee in her minivan, and Alice and Matty in their rental car. Back home, we have an army of friends, family, and neighbors signed up to help us through what will doubtlessly be a rough transition from a family of six including our loveable floof, Max, to a dozen.
A dozen. Holy shit.
We're far from out of the woods. We may be heading home, but we're still facing so many unknowns.
Our lifestyle is going to have to change drastically, our whole family is going to have to adjust, and we still don't know if there will be any lingering health issues due to the babies being born ten weeks early.
That said...
"Yeah, short stuff," I finally murmur with a grin. "We're ready."
~ oOo ~
Thirty minutes outside of Jackson Bay, the babies are over it.
"We're gonna have to stop," Bella frets, craning her neck to call out to Dad way in the back. He's the lucky son of a gun sitting next to River as he screams bloody murder.
Sighing, I eye the clock in the dash, knowing we're already later than we were hoping we'd be, before turning off at the next junction.
One more pit stop, then it's the home stretch, I tell myself.
As soon as I cut the engine, Bella is hopping out and rushing around to climb into the back. She curses softly when she realizes there's stuff in the way and she'll have to climb over it to get to our boy.
"I'm going to stretch my legs," Everly says, cutting herself off with a yawn. "Do you want anything?"
Mumbling the list of sodas we request so she doesn't forget any, she hops out and jogs over to the store on the corner. Unbuckling, I turn around and find myself smiling despite my restlessness. Bella is perching on top of our strollers stacked on top of each other, River held carefully in front of her face as she croons a bunch of nonsense just to distract him.
It's working.
Dad's eyes find mine as he shakes his head, teasingly rubbing his ears. "I thought he'd never quit wailing. I can hear again."
As Caben or Rylee starts fussing behind me, I wince. "Don't speak too soon. You'll jinx it."
Minutes later, all six babies are screaming and they continue until Renee wanders over from my Jeep to suggest we feed them a little early. By this point, it's only twenty minutes before we'd be feeding them anyway, so Bella and I shake off our reservations with getting off schedule and decide to just go for it.
Thank God for all-knowing Nanas, that's all I'm saying, because no sooner have we caved and stuck bottles in the babies'—or a boob, in Caben's case—mouths do they calm.
"Ren, you're an angel."
Renee flashes me a grin as she sits Asher up and starts rubbing circles on his back. "It's just Nana's intuition."
"Well, it's a godsend," I tell her, adjusting Rylee's bottle before she starts squawking at me.
Matty and Marcus take the opportunity to talk their parents into getting them an ice cream from the stand across the street, and by the time they return with sticky hands and sprinkles stuck to their cheeks, the babies are done eating and we've realized that we have nowhere to change them.
"Here, we'll do it the old-fashioned way," Dad grins, expertly executing a backseat diaper change in the Jeep. We form a conveyor line of babies, loading them one by one back into Big Blue until we're all back in our seats ready to tackle the last leg of this insane journey we've been on.
Looking over at Bella as our caravan starts to roll out, I hesitate for a second, twining my fingers with hers. Her eyes are bright with excitement, her radiant smile putting some of my fears to bed.
She won't let me screw this up.
"Let's go home," I say, my voice thick.
Bella's eyes are glassy as she swallows hard and nods, pulling a big breath in through her nose. "Yeah, handsome. Let's go home."
It's just the beginning, we know that, but what an incredible beginning to what I'm sure is going to be a wonderful story.
~ oOo ~
A couple of minutes away from the hill that overlooks our little bay, Bella's hand slips over again. Her fingers tug at mine until I twist them together on the console, shooting her a smile.
She's like a statue in her seat, frozen in anticipation—except for her eyes. I can't help but glance over as I slow toward the crest of the hill, as we cruise by the 'Welcome to Jackson Bay' sign and the town is spread out before us, the ocean a shimmering, undulating cerulean blanket on the horizon. For maybe a few minutes, I consider driving down The Boardwalk so Bella can see more of the town before we hole ourselves up in the house to come to grips with our new reality. Just as quickly, I brush off the idea. At this point, I think we both just want to get home to our big boys and get settled in.
Briefly looking in the rearview as we fast approach the entrance to our street, I notice Dad and Everly whispering, throwing knowing smiles at the back of our heads, but I forget all about it when Bella blows out a big breath and her grip on my hand tightens.
My heart beats double time when I follow her gaze and notice the crowd gathered on the sidewalk down the street.
Right outside our house.
Goosebumps rise all over my body as I brake slightly, a lump lodged firmly in my throat when we roll to a stop and can barely see our house behind the mass of people in our front yard.
A bunch of faces jump out at me right away.
Almost my entire Burger Co. crew, Garrett, Tanya, and their girls right at the front. Dale, Jude, Dale II, and Emmett. The Samuels, Austin waving like a crazy thing from CJ's arms. Benjamin, Angela, and their kids. A bunch of Bella's cousins—I've known this family for over twenty years and I still don't know them all by name. Judah, our realtor's son and Bella's friend from high school. Carlie and Bailee. Jones, Kelly, and baby Maggie. Brody and Embry Call, one of his buddies from the team who also frequents the restaurant.
And then, right there at the front, Charlie with Max on his leash and the boys chomping at the bit to charge Big Blue.
As I climb out onto the sidewalk, Bella rounding the hood to join me, I listen to the thunderous applause of our friends, family, and neighbors. My eyes burn as I lower them to Bella, grinning. "Welcome home."
She sniffles with a soft, disbelieving laugh of her own as Charlie breaks away from the crowd, the boys running ahead to throw themselves at us. "Hi, kiddos."
A thud makes all of us look up toward the house, where we find Sullivan half hanging out of the boys' bedroom window with what looks like a cannon…
"Welcome home, babies! And Bella, of course!" He calls with a goofy grin before a soft boom sounds, the cannon sending a shower of powder blue and soft pink confetti over the entire front yard. Nobody escapes it, not even our lolloping beast of a dog who gallops right up to Bella and stretches up onto his hind legs to plant his paws on her shoulders.
Charlie chuckles, drawing me into a hug once he's sure Bella has Max's leash. "Welcome home, EC." Pulling back to squeeze my shoulders, he flashes me a grin. "Shall we get those babies out and let their adoring fans get a look?"
One by one, we unload the babies from Big Blue, lining them up in the shade of the fence. It's the first time many of our friends are seeing them in person and we get to stand back and watch as the boys proudly introduce them to everybody.
"No touching," Arlo warns when one of the neighbors' kids reaches out toward Rylee. "Read the sign, aight?" His eyes dart to mine as the boy mumbles an apology and wanders off.
Shooting him a wink, I nod and drape my arm around Bella as she chats to Kelly, Carlie, and Tanya.
With the sun on my back, my family in front of me, and Bella's arms around my waist…
We're home.
~ oOo ~
When sleep comes in fits and starts, often not lasting longer than a one and a half hour stretch at a time, it fucking sucks to wake up in a cold sweat with the image of Bella's face right before she passed out in the OR stuck in my head.
"Fuck." Sliding my fingers into my hair, I pull hard enough to make myself wince and distract me from the lingering misery of my nightmare. It's happening less frequently, but apparently it's not done messing with me yet.
Glancing over my shoulder, I see that it's almost two and the babies will be getting ready for their next meal. We decided to each take a two-hour stint upstairs in bed so we have a chance of getting even just that little amount of undisturbed sleep, so Bella is down on the couch right now with the babies in their bassinets. We still don't have a nursery set up and they're too little to be in their own rooms, anyway, so the living room just seemed like the best option right now.
Hauling myself out of bed, I pull on a tee and some sweatshorts, yawning all the way downstairs and into the living room. I'm surprised to see that Bella already has company.
Sullivan is in my recliner and Finley is beside Bella on the couch, each of them holding a baby and a bottle and wearing a sleepy smile.
"Hey, bro," Sullivan murmurs. "I was on the late shift at Burger Co., so I thought I'd swing by and help out before I head home to sleep."
"You're a glutton for punishment, little brother," I chuckle, stroking Asher's head on my way past him in Sullivan's arms. Perching beside Finley, I ruffle his hair and grin at his long yawn. "You're up super late, buddy."
"I want to help," he admits with a bashful shrug, quietly hushing River when he fusses a little.
"Here, let me...there you go." After adjusting River a little bit, waiting to make sure he's settled again, I lean back and kiss Bella's smile-stretched cheek. "How're you doin'?"
Tipping her head side to side, she whispers, "Not bad, actually. I'm tired but it's manageable. How about you?" Her eyes dart over to the clock. When they return to my face, understanding clouds them. "Nightmare?" she mouths.
Nodding, just a single dip of my chin, I force a smile onto my face. "It's okay. Which babies still need feeding?"
She has Rylee, which leaves Caben, Mackenzie, and Oakley still waiting to eat. Oakley is grunting the loudest, so I opt to grab him first. Caben and Mackenzie are far more patient than their bigger, chunkier brother anyway.
As soon as the bottle machine has worked its magic, I scoop Oakley from his bassinet and get comfy on the couch to feed him. I quickly realize my error when he starts dribbling it down his chin and I haven't got a rag anywhere within reach.
"Here," Sullivan says with a smirk, tossing one from the little pile on the end table next to him before I can even ask.
"Thanks." With the cloth tucked under Oakley's chin, I settle in to wait him out, my eyes roaming the dimly lit faces around the room, landing on Finley last. His determination to help has been noticed by many today. Since we brought the babies inside and our front yard cleared out, he's been right there when we need something handed to us or a fussy baby wants holding but we've got no free hands. The other boys have been helping, too, but Finley has taken to the big-brother-of-sextuplets gig like a seasoned pro.
"D'you think you're gonna be able to keep this up, Finn? Mom and I might let you and Sully handle it and get some more sleep, what do you think, Bella?"
Finley snorts and shakes his head, but he's still smiling until another big yawn cuts through the room.
"Once River's done, you head up to bed, buddy." He starts to protest, but a raised eyebrow from his mom makes him relent with a sigh.
"I like helping with the babies."
"We know, kiddo," Bella murmurs, settling a milk-drunk Rylee back in her bed now she's gotten all her gas out. Dropping back onto the couch with Finley, she wraps her arms around his shoulders and kisses his head. "We're so grateful for you, Finn. You're a wonderful big brother. But you can be a wonderful big brother during the day."
"All right, I guess so."
Once River has finished his bottle, Bella shows Finley how to pat his back until he's out of gas. Finley grins and coaxes his little brother into a sort-of fist bump when River releases a loud burp. "Good job, Rivs."
"All right, you. Off to bed." Bella plants a kiss on his head and gently takes River. "Thank you for your help, Finn."
His cheeks flush pink as he shrugs, mumbling "No problem" as he hesitates in the doorway. Before heading to bed, he kisses each of the babies' heads and trudges off up the stairs.
Sullivan huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head as he puts Asher in his bed before stretching his arms out over his head with a groan. "It sounds weird, but he's a little you, bro."
Furrowing my brows, I cock my head. "How so?"
"Don't you remember? I know you were older when I was born, but you were an awesome brother to me when I was growing up." As warmth surges through me, he fishes his wallet from his back pocket and tosses it to me. "Look at the picture bit inside."
Flipping it open, I grin and thumb my mom's smiling face. He has a photo of Mom, Dad, Jasper, me, and him in there. It's from around six months before Mom passed, a colorful bandana tied around her head and a bright but tired smile on her face. Beside it isa photo of a much younger me holding him at the first birthday party we threw him here in Jackson Bay. He'd already had one party with his mom, but we threw him another one when Mom, Dad, Jasper, and Alice flew out to the Bay with him a few weeks later.
"You were a fat baby," I tell him with a chuckle. "Look at those cheeks."
Sullivan rolls his eyes, snatching the wallet back out of my hands with a smirk. "I was fuckin' adorable, and you know it."
"Let me see," Bella demands cheekily, cooing over his admittedly kind of cute baby face. "You had long hair even then."
"Of course. I was cool even as a one-year-old, and I've definitely passed those genes onto these babies. You're welcome."
Bella laughs, shaking her head. "I hope they've also got your abundance of modesty."
While Bella and I continue feeding and changing hungry and cranky babies, Sullivan heads out to sleep ahead of his swim school class tomorrow morning. He's covering for Everly, apparently.
"Where's Ev off to?" I ask Bella quietly as we work side by side at the changing station.
"I don't think she's going anywhere. I don't know, though. She hasn't said anything, has she?"
"Not that I can recall." I suddenly remember… "I meant to ask...have you spoken to Rosalie? I didn't get a chance to see her yesterday. I wanted to thank her for handling all the hotel stuff while we were away, but I must have missed her."
Bella frowns, halting halfway through changing Caben's diaper to look up at me. "I didn't see her, either. I just assumed there were too many people around. I don't actually remember seeing her."
"Huh." As I start fastening the poppers on Mackenzie's sleepsuit, I ponder Rosalie's no-show at the hospital the other day. "She didn't come out on Tuesday either."
"Come to think of it, she was really weird on the phone last weekend. She seemed...I don't know, off. Like she was trying to get off the call as soon as she answered. I know she's not that into kids, maybe she's just over everybody talking about them all the time."
It's my turn to frown. "I don't think that's it. She's not a kid person, but she loves her nieces and nephews."
Bella shrugs, wrangling Caben's squirmy legs into one hand so she can clean him up with the other. "I guess. It just seems weird. I'll ask Mom when she comes over later, maybe she knows what's going on."
"Yeah, maybe—"
"Oh, crap!"
Rosalie is forgotten for the moment when I look over to see why Bella's doing some kind of strange dance away from Caben while also stretching her arms toward him. She grimaces as her eyes find mine, an incredulous laugh bubbling out of her. "He peed on me!"
I try to stifle my rumbling chuckle but fail miserably.
"I can't believe he peed on me." With her hand now holding the diaper over him, she steps back toward Caben and shakes her head at him. "You little terror."
He coos and waves his arms at her, big gray eyes shining silver in the low light of the lamp. Of course, there's no staying mad at that little face.
Especially when his mouth contorts into a new expression, shakily spreading into a smile that he aims right at his melting momma.
"He's smiling! Edward, look!"
"I'm looking, I'm looking," I chuckle thickly, snatching my cell from the coffee table to try and snap a picture of Caben's first gummy smile.
"Oh sweet boy," Bella breathes tearfully, quickly taping his diaper down so she can swoop him up against her chest. "You have such a sweet smile, baby. You're completely forgiven for peeing on me."
Resting a gentle hand over Mackenzie's belly even though there's no way he's going anywhere, I wrap my free arm around Bella, pressing kisses against her temple and Caben's soft hair. "These babies are gonna get away with a whole lot of shenanigans if all they've gotta do is smile at you."
Bella sniffles, glassy eyes bright and happy as she beams at me over Caben's head. "I don't even care. They can do whatever they like as long as they keep giving me their smiles." Leaning back a little, Caben's wobbly head bobbing away from her for a second so he can offer her a second gummy smile, it becomes abundantly clear we don't stand a chance against these babies.
Let's hope they don't realize that too soon.
I had a couple of people asking again if the last chapter was THE LAST chapter, and no, it isn't. There are 29 chapters, an epilogue, and some futuretakes still to come.
Huge thanks to annaharding and maplestyle for being their awesome selves and working hard with me to make my writing the best it can be! And of course hugs to all of you for taking the time to read and review. It's hard to explain just how lovely it is to get those review alerts and know that, in a time when social interaction is hard and emotions are high, there are people out there.
I'm sending everybody big hugs and lots of love. Stay safe and take care of yourselves xo