A/N: Big thanks to BlueOwl and Emerald2211 for helping me edit this chapter.

Trying to find out information about his family (his family) was harder than Steve made it seem. He knew it would be, but decided not to mention it. He knew it wouldn't have changed Steve's mind.

As luck would have it, after looking for an hour, most of which he spent keeping an eye out while Steve looked for old newspapers in the archives, Rebecca Porter (Becca Barnes) worked for NASA in the late 60s as a computer. It was a short article, but from that they were able to find more about her from scholars who focused on women in science or knew that she was related to Bucky Barnes.

"Says here that Becca had three kids, moved back to Brooklyn after..." Steve choked up a little but continued reading,"...after Charlotte died in 2008."

"Charles," he said because he knew that Charlotte hated her full name.

"Yeah, she would have punched me if she heard me call her Charlotte and not Charles," Steve said with a grin, though he could also tell that Steve was trying to hold back the tears.

The fact that one of his sisters died the year before he escaped made him feel...

"What about Becca? Is she still..."

"She's... well, it says that she was still living with her grandkids, but this was written in 2010," Steve said before pausing as he thought about what he just read.

"Heh, I'm still getting used to writing the date starting with 20 instead of 19. The fact that 2010 was last year is..."

"Welcome to the future, Stevie."

Steve looked shocked for a moment, but gave him a real smile.

"Guess you were right about that."

He wasn't sure what Steve meant by that, but...

"Less flying cars though."

The words came out of his mouth before he could recognize it. A dream about a man attempting to make flying cars. He thought Lani would find that funny, but he never told her about it. There was...he knew it was a memory but it was fractured. He only dreamed about it once and there was no sound. Only the sound of electricity where there should have been voices, which made what should have been a happy dream end with him jumping out of bed with a racing heart and Lani rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

"...Bucky? Are you still with me?"

He blinked and Steve was suddenly closer, hand on his shoulder looked scared. Right away he checked their surroundings because Steve never let himself look scared. But they were still in the back of the library, and it sounded like there were only two other people on the whole floor.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know, I asked if you remembered the Stark Expo and you didn't respond for close to five minutes."

It wasn't good he 'checked out' for so long. Not while they were planning on heading back to the same place they left. Steve was only observant of his surrounding when he had a reason to be, and he knew that right now Steve thought they were safe. They were in New York city, and even with all the damages on the streets and building, in the library it was calm.

"I'm fine, just lost in thought. We should head back though," he said while getting up, leaving Steve to deal with getting the papers and books back where they belong.

"Bucky, wait! Don't you want to look more into this? This is your family we're talking about. If Becca is still alive-"

"Then nothing changes, Steve. I'm not going to just walts in and say, 'Hi, turns out I didn't die and was just a brainwashed assassin for the very people we fought against in the war'."

"I mean, you could."

He stopped walking just long enough to give Steve a good look at his unimpressed face, before walking out of the building.

"I wasn't joking, Bucky. Maybe don't tell her about your time with Hydra, but you deserve to have at least part of your family back."

"Steve, I've only just been getting memories of my family back, and even then I'm not certain if they are real memories or just dreams. I just wanted to know what happened to them. It will be some time before I will be ready to meet Becca or apparently my grand nephews and nieces. If I ever will."

They stopped in front of the steps, and Steve's eyes were starting to look a little wet in the corners. He felt suddenly exhausted as well, and wondered what Steve was hoping to get out of this little trip anyways.

"Yeah, okay, Bucky, we don't need to do this now," Steve said in a way that made him think that this was not going to be the last time Steve brings this idea up.

He (Bucky) gave a nod, suddenly feeling too exhausted to talk even though he hasn't done anything. Talking shouldn't be this hard, but with Steve he wanted to talk more and often got to this point where it felt like the end of one of his missions back with Hydra. From what little he remembers of his life before being a soldier, Bucky never had this problem. That Bucky always felt rejuvenated after talking with people.

"A few days after you...fell," Steve started out of the blue, after them walking silently to the subway for a few minutes, "I was the one who wrote a letter to your sisters that you...died."

Shit. Was Bucky's first thought since he could easily imagine Steve bent over trying not to let his tears stain the ink as he wrote in a matter of fact way explaining what happened. Then it would only be at the end that Steve would put in any personal thoughts. Maybe going as far as telling them it was his fault that Bucky fell. Which wasn't true.

"I just...I just remember wishing that I could lie and tell them you were fine, and somehow make it true."

He (Bucky) just raised an eyebrow at that utter nonsense, but at least got Steve to chuckle a little.

"I know, that was a stupid thing to want but you're here now and that's all that matters."

He really wished it could be that easy. That it would be impossible for Hydra to get them now that they are with the Avengers in that ugly tower. He (Bucky) also knew that if Fury was smart, he would be using them as bait to try figuring out just who in Shield were also Hydra agents. He doesn't even mind playing bait, as long as Lani isn't involved.

They ended up taking the subway back, which was still less busy than he (Bucky) expected. Steve kept up a commentary about their past almost the entire trip, only pausing once they were back above ground. They weren't being trailed, and he didn't recommend they make any fake trials since Hydra already knows where to look first.

It's only a question of when and how.

Steve was silent as they rode the elevator up to their floor, looking like he was deep in thought which was never a good thing.

"What is it?" he asked before whatever Steve was planning could blow up in their faces.

"What's what?" Steve responded, and Bucky just continued staring until Steve caved.

"Well, I was just thinking..."

"Uh huh."

"Bucky, I'm serious. You mentioned earlier about not knowing if a memory is real or not and I was thinking that I could help with that. If it's anything before the war, or even during it."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened, but neither one moved to get out.

"I used to keep a journal about that stuff but..." He started to explain before closing his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "I might have to take you up on that offer, Steve," he continued after a moment, turning to give Steve what he hoped was a grateful smile.

The way Steve lit up made him think it was successful.

"Any time, Buck."

The floor was empty when they arrived, which prompted him to ask the computer AI, "Jarvis, where's Lani?"

"Miss. Lani is currently with Sir down in the workshop. Would you like me to notify them that you are back?"

"No, that is not necessary," he said before looking at Steve.

"That's good they are hanging out again. Lani seems to like all that science stuff," Steve said with an awkward shrug.

Bucky knew what Steve was trying to do. Ever since they found that Hydra sent him after Howard and his wife Steve had been subtly asking if he remembered any of it. Unlike when Steve asks about other things, he looks relieved when he says no. Or at least he thinks he hasn't. There were a lot of confusing dreams he wrote down in his journals, but now they were gone.

"She reads a lot," he said instead of talking about Tony Stark.

"Lani's a good kid. You're... real good with her."

Since Steve was being weird again, he gave him a look begging him to stop being so vague, before going to the bathroom. Only he went into the bathroom connected to the bedroom and he spotted a very familiar, very dirty backpack that shouldn't be there.

He picked up the bag, which was damp, and walked back out into the main room just as the elevator dinged.

"Well it was very nice talking to you, Lani, once again you are welcome any time, just let Jarvis know. Also, Capsicle, I'm going to a burger joint. You want anything, have Jarvis text me," Tony Stark said as he walked out of the elevator with Lani, pointed at Steve, then walked back where his friend (?) was waiting and looking as bewildered as Steve.

It was almost enough to distract him from the major issue in his hand, but the way Lani's face lit up when she saw it reminded him.

"Oh, you found it already! The bike was completely stripped and the other bag was gone-zo, but your journals are still there and are at least legible," Lani said with a weak smile that started to slip when he didn't share in her excitement.

"What's going on here?" Steve asked and Bucky was all too willing to explain the problem.

"Lani went back to DC to see if our stuff was still there even though I told her it was a bad idea."

"Nothing bad happened!" Lani argued, though that doesn't really make it any better since she can do her 'reset' thing.

"Did you at least let anyone know in case Hydra did spot you?" he asked, and the way Lani looked away told him she purposely didn't tell anyone.

"I was only gone for a few minutes."

"Jarvis, did you know that Lani left the building today?" Steve suddenly asked.

"I was unaware of that fact."

"I...didn't want anyone to worry?"

"And you thought that having no one know where you were is better than making anyone worry?"

"It was only a few minutes, and I had a plan in place in case anything happened. Which it didn't."

"That doesn't change the fact that something could have. That it has before," he said, trying to keep his anger from covering up his fear of what could have been.

"That's it. Go to your room."

"...What?"

"You heard me. You're grounded. Go to your room," he said, and Lani just looked at him like she was trying to figure out if this was a joke.

"Uh, okay?" Lani said before leaving.

"Really channeling Mrs. Barnes there, huh Bucky," Steve said once Lani was out of the hallway.

"What?"

"Your mom? I'm pretty sure I've heard her say the exact same thing a thousand times to you when we were kids," Steve explained with a sad smile.

"Right," he responded, wondering if he wrote down one of those times in his journal that Lani got back.

It was dumb of her to do that, and it's worst that he knows that since she was able to bring something back, Lani is going to think it was worth the risk. Like her safety is pointless as long as it helps others.

"I want to blame you," Bucky said, still looking at the bag in his only operational hand.

"What? For you acting like your mom in front of your kid?"

"Lani knows how easy it is for Hydra to track us and what a risk it was going back to where we stashed the bike after they found us. Yet she still did it because she wanted to get this back," he explained, pulling out one of the journals.

"It's giving me some serious deja vu and I'm pretty sure that is your fault."

"I have no idea what you are talking about Bucky," Steve said in a way that made it very clear he did, in fact, know exactly what 'Bucky' was talking about.

"You're a real punk, you know that Steve?"

Steve just gave the most shit-eating grin imagined in response.

"Okay, let me see if I got this right. You got hacked over a year ago by a child who likely was experimented on by science nazis and figured out you were going to get platinum poisoning - which I am still mad you didn't tell me about, I don't care if you fixed it before it caused any long term effects - who also showed up in New York only because her dad, who was also a war hero that was brainwashed by said science nazis for 70 years, wanted to see Steve. They both helped in the fight, stayed the night, made it as far as DC before Hydra captured them, but because you are paranoid, you tracked them down and got the Avengers to infiltrate their base which was under a bank in the middle of the city? Which is how you got the data which included a video of your parents being shot?"

"He strangled them, not shot them," Tony clarified before biting down on his burger.

"And instead of telling, oh I don't know, your best friend since college or your girlfriend about this you tried confronting the man and then bury yourself in more Hy- science nazis stuff?"

"Pretty much."

Rhodey pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

"Tony, I thought we were done with you hiding things."

"We are still figuring out who to tell and who to trust. I, of course, trust you 99.9%, but the others-"

"That is not what I'm talking about... and only 99.9%?"

"You could be a shift shaping alien," Tony said and Rhodey gave him the classic 'I can't tell if you're joking and at this point I'm afraid to ask' look.

"Good thing I'm not then. But you could have told me the non classified stuff. Are you just letting... James be your roommate now?"

"James?"

"There is no way I'm calling a grown man Bucky."

Tony took the time to eat a little more while he thought. He was still pissed at this whole 'mom murdering' situation, but being away from the tower and all the Hydra notes helped.

"The murder bot is safe as long as Hydra isn't around. And right now the upper levels of my tower are the only place that is 100% free."

"Only the upper levels?"

"I've been having Jarvis look into the employees that Shield planted. I might just fire all of them to be safe."

"Great. Now, are you okay? Jarvis said you've only been out of the lab for ten hours since the battle, and fives of those were for that bank fight."

"I wouldn't call that a fight..." Tony said, wondering just how to get Rhodey off his case.

"Last time you've been in the lab so long was to work on your new reactor, and before that the Iron Man suits, so again, are you okay?" Rhodey asked with a stern look.

The force of it was almost enough to make Tony come clean. Almost.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't you think I'm not? I'm just busy with the Avenger stuff and the inventing stuff and the being awesome stuff and-"

"Fine, I get it. But you know you can always call me. Even if it's 3 in the morning and you want to tell me about how one of your bots just made a few code lines without your input."

"As if your permission has ever stopped me before," Tony joked, but part of him was relieved to hear that.

Rhodey had been on missions even more as the war machine than when he was just a soldier. The fact he tried calling during the battle and Rhodey wasn't able to pick up was proof of that. But it was nice in theory to know he would be there even though it often didn't work that way.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about you. Pepper is too."

"Well, for once there is no need to worry about me," Tony expertly lied.

They were at the third possible location that Stark noted when they found it. An old brick apartment on the first floor in Cleveland.

"Surprised there aren't any rats in here," Clint commented while Natasha broke into the safe they found hidden away.

"Just because your place can't last a day without attracting strays doesn't mean everyone else is like that."

"Hey, you better not be talking about Lucky."

"I was talking about you. Pretty sure Lucky only keeps you around for your opposable thumbs," Natasha restored back, and with a subtle click, the safe was opened.

Inside was what they were looking for. A small red leather book with a star on it. Underneath were some weather stained files, and a quick look showed them to be all in Russian.

"That's the book?"

"Looks like it," Natasha answered, getting ready to open the book before Clint stopped her.

"Whoa, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"The whole point of this trip was to get the book before Hydra does."

"I thought the whole point was to destroy the book so Hydra can't use those trigger words on Barnes again," Clint said with a frown.

Natasha suddenly felt like she was missing something.

"There could be more information in here than the words. That would only take up a page at most. This is likely all the information on the Winter soldier that Hydra deemed too important to have as common knowledge for their group. "

"Which is why we shouldn't be reading it."

Natasha was definitely missing something.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just think this is one of those times it's better to burn the information than let it fall in the wrong hands."

"Am I the wrong hands?"

"No! It's just... Barnes has been through a lot and was completely stripped of his humanity and any privacy. I don't think we should be apart of that," Clint explained, and Natasha slowly put the book down to really look at him.

"This is personal to you," Natasha realized.

"Uh, no? I'm just trying to be a good guy since we are superheroes now, not just spies."

"No, you are making comparisons to you and Barnes."

"What comparisons? Having a 100% hit rate? Because I will take that compliment."

"Takes care of a kid. Brainwashed," Natasha listed, and Clint predictably flinched.

"I...Nat, it's just that I keep thinking what would have happened if I was around the kids when Loki still-"

"I wouldn't have let that happen," Natasha interrupted.

"I know, but Barnes didn't have that. He has a bunch of Nazis who had him for decades and getting rid of this book means they have one less way to control him. I get you don't like the guy, and that is your choice and I support you in hating the dude who almost killed you, but doesn't he deserve a chance at a normal life?"

"Clint, I don't hate him. It's more complicated than that," Natasha said, opening her mouth to say more before thinking otherwise.

Clint, used to this, just waited.

"That wasn't the first time I met the Winter Soldier," Natasha finally got out.

Talking about her time in the red room got harder the more she realized who messed up it was. Clint knows more out of anyone, but she still hasn't told him everything.

"They used to bring him in to train us. I didn't think it was the same guy since he never aged, even when years would pass between lessons."

"Shit, Nat that-"

"It wasn't bad. He got in trouble more than once for going 'soft' on us. I think that was the main reason they did it. Not to train us but to desensitize him. Which obviously didn't work."

"Okay, that, makes a lot of sense actually. But then why don't you want to just get rid of this?"

"This might have information on how to get the trigger words out of his brain," Natasha said, and Clint made an 'o' face at the realization.

"So you want to read it all, memorize it, then burn it?" Clint figured out, and Natasha gave a single nod.

"Yeah, okay, I still think we should just burn it right now, but I get it. Barnes wouldn't really be free until we broke the triggers, and it's safer to have it in your mind rather than paper," Clint thought out loud, before suddenly looking back at Natasha.

"Wait, did the fact Barnes use to train you to make you more or less angry that he tried killing you three years ago?"

"I'm not sure. At first, I thought he just never cared, but now... the winter soldier has never been known for leaving witnesses without a reason and I can't think of any reason Hydra would want me alive at that point."

"Maybe he didn't think you could have lived?"

"He would have just shot me in the head afterwards then. It's bothered me for a while, but now knowing how they wiped him I can't stop from thinking maybe he did care but just couldn't remember enough."

"Or remembered enough to give you the fighting chance to survive that shot," Clint added, and wasn't that a thought.

"...You know, I asked you to join me to try figuring out what was going on in your head, not mine."

"What? Am I not a shining example of mental health?"

"I saw you put your leftover pizza in your coffee this morning."

"I was trying to kill two birds with one stone. But...thanks. For making me come. I still need some time to think and I needed an excuse to not visit Laura and the kids," Clint said that last part under his breath.

Natasha still wasn't 100% sure there wasn't anything going on between Laura and Clint. Sure, Clint was doing a fantastic job filling the father figure role for the kids after his brother got arrested, but Natasha wasn't sure just how normal that was. Family stuff was outside her realm of knowledge. Whatever their dynamic was, it worked.

And Natasha liked being their aunt.

"I'll come visit next time," Natasha promised, and Clint visibly relaxed at that.

"Thanks, but I think it will be a while before I can fly down," Clint said before patting Natasha on the back and leaving to check the rest of the house again.

Natasha then opened the book and started reading.

A/N: Not sure how I feel about this chapter. Since the last time I updated this fic, I lost both my grandpas so I'm kinda in a weird headspace right now. Next chapter a lot of things will be happening, which is why I wanted to do a check-in so see what everyone but Lani has been up to.

Thank you everyone who has favorited and followed this story. And super thanks to Innieminnie (times 4), dantezess, bimboom (times two!), the guest named Fan, the guest named Rafafalafa, RunningGolden, The Dimensional Reader, Kudou Shinichi, TheVulcanNara, PrincessMagic, auberonne, RavenclawGryffindor35, Fantasia Komix, I.D's Fantasy, moutainelements, M2R, Tamakiii, sanderm, Lady Kaiki, Hearteyesmf, Death Fury, Nighfyl, Brown, the guest named anon, LetTheWorldHonorTheFallen, curry-llama, bored411, Kragh50, Omega-66, Junipearlee, Amir-015, Roxycall18, Goldenfightergirl, soratomoyo-chan, and zackman2k12 for leaving a review!

On June 30 this story will be a year old! Which is crazy since this is the longest I've ever written and we are maybe 1/3 of the way through.

Hope you all have a good night/day!