[AN: Hello everyone! I highly recommend playing "Final Fantasy X - Suteki Da Ne (Isn't it Wonderful)" in the background when reading this chapter. If not, enjoy!]

"What happened to you?"

That was the question that seemed to echo through Vividus's mind. As soon as he asked that, her heartfelt heavy, her breaths suddenly started to become raspy, her head started to hurt. The Kurta woman doesn't know why his question suddenly made her scared.

"You said you would tell me everything that happened when we were alone," Kurapika said, looking at his older sister.

"I-I know," Vividus stuttered, holding the side of her head. "I just don't know where to begin."

Kurapika held his chin in thought, understanding it is indeed a deep topic to dive into "Alright, let's start it off with an easy topic then. How do you know Killua and Hisoka? It seemed like you've meet them prior to the exam."

"Oh, that's a good start then." Vividus chirped, "I meet Killua during my time at Heavens Arena. He was really young when I meet him. He opened up to me about how his family didn't want him back home until he reached the 200th floor...so I helped train him." She giggled a bit, remembering her fondest memories of Killua when he was a child. "He was an interesting child, he reminded me a lot like you when you were little."

Her brother frowned, "In what way?"

"He was stubborn, defiant, and a softy. Just like you!"

Kurapika punched her shoulder lightly. Both of them having a good laugh. Both of them started to talk about the good old days when everyone was still alive. Talking about their favorite moments with their parents, Pairo, and their younger days. Soon, Vividus answered more questions about how she knew Killua which lead to the topic of Heavens Arena, Vividus started to talk about her adventures there and how she made it as a floor master. Even talked about her old Master, Biscuit on how she trained her to become a strong fighter when she left the village. In exchange, Kurapika also walked about his adventures and where he was for the last few years. It was a good bonding moment for the siblings, this is something Kurapika felt he needed.

It was a heartwarming conversation.

"So how does Hisoka fit into all this? You two seem well...acquainted."

Vividus twitched in annoyance, letting out a small sigh. "I also meet Hisoka at Heavens Arena. He saw my battles and ever since then...he wanted to fight me. We are far from being acquaintances. He had his moments when he isn't a bad guy but...I don't like how he's unpredictable and a selfish prick." She looked over at Kurapika with a serious expression. "So whatever information he has for you, don't go to him. I don't trust him one bit."

"Is that why you acted out on the train?" Her brother asked, with Vividus nodding her head in response.

"Yeah...I'm sorry Kura-chan but I really don't want you fighting the spiders. You have no idea how dangerous they are and what they are capable of."

"I understand your concern," Kurapika said, patting her back. "But I can handle myself. I'm sure with the information he'll provide will be useful for us to get our revenge."

The warm atmosphere that was between the Kurta siblings suddenly disappeared as soon as the sunset. With the moon coming out into the sky, Kurapika was thrown off by how Vividus's personality suddenly changed the moment he talked about revenge. Her expression was no longer happy and warm: but cold and serious. She placed her coffee down on top of the roof, not breaking her gaze.

"No." Vividus said sternly, "I refuse to have you get involved with them. They are my responsibility! I won't allow you to engage combat against them with the chance of losing you!"

"What do you mean?" Kurapika shot up from his spot. "You're not making any sense to me right now! I'm sure with our powers combine, we can take down the Phantom Troupe together!"

As memories suddenly flash before Vividus's eyes, her heart started to ache. Remembering the moment of how Chrollo used her and how Pakunoda locked her memories away. Looking at Kurapika, she shook her head, the last thing she wanted was to lose him as she did before. An image of Kurapika dying in her arms inflicted instant fear into her mind. Vividus felt this was her fault all of this happened, Kurapika shouldn't die for her mistakes.

"No!" She shot back, now standing up, "This is my burden and my burden alone!"

"Onee-san, how is this your responsibility? They killed our friends! Our clan! Our family! We can fight together and retrieve the eyes of our brethren back. Kill the Spiders! I know I can get stronger and become just as strong as you are now!"

"I can handle them myself!" Vividus said, raising her voice. "Kura-chan, they know who I am, but they don't know about you."

Vividus hated herself. She knows that she is exceptionally selfish right now, but feels she doesn't have a choice. Every word that slipped out of her lips was making her feel empty. Inside her mind, she felt her fallen clan members that she once held dear grabbed onto her feet, starting dragging her soul into the dark abyss of shame and self-doubt. She felt like she was drowning.

"Wait, how does the troupe know who you are?" questioned Kurapika, not liking where this is going.

"It doesn't matter how they know me," She replied, "It doesn't change the fact that I will do anything to protect you from them. Even if it means risking my life."

"That's not fair!" Screamed Kurapika, refusing to accept that as an answer. "How can you say that? Why is it ok for me to stay alive and for you to die in my stead?!"

Vividus froze in fear. How will he view her when she tells him everything about how she's the reason her family is dead? She thought she was ready to say to her beloved brother everything that happened. But hearing his question echo deep into her mind. Her confidence left her body and was now left with shame and guilt. She thought she was ready to tell Kurapika what happened to her.

"Does this have something to do with your disappearance? Why you we're gone for so many years?"

She didn't say anything, she just stood there: quietly as she is unsure what to say next.

"Seriously?" Kurapika said, scoffing a bit. "What happened? You were so high up on your horse and now you lost the ability to speak? "

"No Kura-chan, it's not like that at all!" Vividus protested. "It's just hard, ok? I'm scared to tell you what happened!"

"You? Scared?" Kurapika said, crossing his arms over his chest. "Please place yourself in my shoes for a moment and understand why this is making me upset."

Vividus saw her little brother shaking, she didn't say anything as she didn't know what to say. Listening with a heavy heart, she is trying to understand Kurapika the best she could. Even though she had a feeling what Kurapika is about to say will hurt her feeling severely.

"When you disappeared, I made your grave just in case you were dead. I spent years trying to look for you, years in hopes that I could find any answers remotely related to you." Kurapika started to tear up, he hung his head low as she felt his emotions hitting her like waves.

She wanted to give her brother a couple of words of comfort, but nothing came out. Vividus didn't realize how Kurapika might've felt during their time when they were apart. She grasped onto her shirt and felt her anxiety, starting to build up within herself. What did Kurapika have to go through to survive this whole time? How did he feel when he thought when he was alone all this time? What did Kurapika have to do when he tried to find answers about her? She was holding her chest, she was doing her best to control her breathing and trying to keep herself composed. So many negative emotions started to fill her very soul, she began to feel ashamed of herself for letting him down.

Due to her silence, Kurapika leaned in closer to Vividus and stared her down. His expression screaming vulnerability and desperation. His eyes are no longer loving and grey, but now scarlet due to how intense his emotions are.

"But after all these years, it turns out that you were just relaxing in Heavens Arena as a Floor Master? So instead of looking for me, you just fought and made money and replaced me with Killua?! Did you even bother to look for me?!"

Hearing Kurapika used Killua against her. Kurapika's words were stabbing her in the heart. She didn't mean to make him feel this way, she didn't realize that her interactions with Killua made him like this.

"N-No...that's not it."

"Then tell me so I can understand!" Kurapika begged, placing his hand on top of her own. "Talk to me, Onee-san! Help me understand!"

"I-I'm scared to tell you..." She stuttered, feeling his grip on her hand, tightened. Self-doubt filled her mind and started to blame herself. "I'm responsible for everything that happened."

"How are you responsible?!" Kurapika exclaimed. He lifted her hand up and placed it against his chest. "You're my sister! You know I could never hate you!"

"That's not true..."

Shaking her head, Vividus didn't want to hear his words of comfort. She felt like she didn't deserve it. Forcing her hands back, looking down at her feet with her hair covering her face. Kurapika kept pushing her. Emotions were hitting him so hard that he was no longer calm. He kept pushing her without realizing it's hurting her. "Then talk to me! Stop being selfish about this! Why are you so scared? What are you hiding from me? Why do you think I would hate you?!"

"BECAUSE IT'S MY FAULT THAT EVERYONE IS DEAD!"

Finally, reaching her breaking point, Vividus left her head up and stared right back at Killua. Her eyes now scarlet as it bore into his pair of red ones. Both Kurtas are now upset, both of them are currently experiencing nothing but grief, regret, and anger. It was suffocating. She no longer felt calm anymore, her emotions were now out there and exposed to her brother. Her voice was trembling, her body was shaking. She bore her scarlet eyes deep into Kurapika's soul. This is the first time he's ever seen her eyes looking at him negatively. Her voice echoed in his mind, leaving him basically speechless.

"W-What are you talking about?" Kurapika questioned, taking a step back. "What do you mean it's your fault? No, it can't be true."

"I speak nothing but the truth!" Vividus hung her head low, choking back her tears. All the memories related to the Phantom Troupe started to shake her very core. "That year, when I was training hard with Biscuit, I encountered one of the most intelligent man I have ever met. He was special. So special I thought I saw a future with him, I wanted you to meet him."

She dug her fingers into her upper arm, feeling more memories starting to flood in as she explained her side. Images of Chrollo and the Phantom Troupe popped up into her head. The memory she once had of them was happy, but quickly shattered when she saw the job posting on Chrollo's phone. Vividus couldn't keep it in anymore, she didn't want to keep it hidden from Kurapika any longer. Trying her best to stay as calm as she could. She didn't want her baby brother to see her vulnerable then she already is.

"The man I fell in love with, Kurapika. Turned out to be the leader of the Phantom Troupe. He used me. By the time I found out who he was, and his mission was to kill our clan. I ran as fast as I could so they couldn't steal the information out of me. I-"

Before Vividus could continue to tell Kurapika what happened, she felt her body suddenly being kicked off the roof. Eyes widened, she quickly tried to land on her feet. However, when she reached the bottom, she stumbled over. Somehow, she managed to regain her balance. Lifting her head up, she could see Kurapika walking towards her with a small sword in his hand. The hateful look of despair filled his expression, his scarlet eyes glowing furiously with anger.

"How could you do this," Kurapika growled. "How could you give us away like that?!"

The blonde teenager ran up to Vividus and started to charge towards her. Each time he swung the sword and tried to strike her down, she swiftly dodges with ease.

"Kura-chan please just listen to me!" Vividus begged, however, her words we're not reaching him at all. He continued to attack her over and over again as he isn't giving her a chance to speak.

"You were our clan's strongest fighter! The prodigy! The one that left the clan so you can find ways to can keep us safe!"

He was so angry and hurt. She can feel his energy radiating off him, each swing, every strike he tried to bring down upon her, she felt a piece of herself being chipped away. Vividus didn't say anything; she was silent and let her brother express his thoughts and feelings before she decided to reply back. Vividus felt like she had no right to say anything right now.

"Because you followed your heart instead of your instincts, Pairo and everyone is dead!"

Before Vividus could open her mouth to say another word. She was caught off guard by Kurapika kicking her in the stomach. Gasping in pain, she felt her body suddenly flying back. Landing on the ground, her back tingling from the shock.

"I hate you so much. It should've been you that died, not the others!"

Her brother now straddling her hips with his sword pointing at her heart. Angry tears were strolling down his cheeks. She was quiet, she didn't fight back, which made Kurapika even more furious. "Why aren't you fighting back?!" He yelled, trying to read his sister.

Kurapika was now filled with confusion. He knew that Vividus could've quickly taken him down and fought. His sister is strong enough to stop his attacks. But all she was doing this whole time was dodging and letting him hurt her. He didn't like this one bit, he didn't like how Vivdus was doing this on purpose.

"Say something!"

Once he screamed at her, Kurapika started to hear small sobs beginning to escape his sister. He watched his sister turn to face him. Her scarlet eyes stare at him with a void look, Her eyes aren't shining anymore.

Tears starting to trail down her cheeks.

"I was ready to give up my own life so they wouldn't get to you all. When I fought against that man, I was so close to ending his life...so close to saving everyone."

Lifting her hand up, she grabbed the sharp blade. Gripping it in her hand and ignoring the painful sensation. Kurapika's eyes widened to see what his sister was suddenly doing.

"What are you-"

"Kura-chan, I know I failed. I know I failed to protect you all. I'm a disgrace to the Kurta clan." She said, cutting him off for the first time this conversation started. "For failing, I got punished for it. The spiders ended up locking away my memories. Not only did they lock all that I knew about the Troupe, but all of my memories related to the Kurta clan, our parents, and you."

Watching the blood drip down on the blade, it started to stain her top. The tears she tried so hard to hold back until now.

"I tried Kura-chan, I tried so hard to find you when I regained my memories back. I never replaced you with Killua. The reason why Killua and I are so close because we met at Heavens Arena, he was the one who helped triggered some memories about you. He encouraged me to come back to the village to help get the answers I needed. I never intended to leave you behind like that. I never meant to leave you alone for so many years. I'm so sorry."

Feeling more tears streaming out of her eyes, no longer gripping onto the sword. She reached up and cupped her brother's cheeks. Her blood now on his skin made him shake. The more she moved toward, the tip of the blade would puncture her skin, a small bit of blood coming out.

"You're right, I should've died that night, not Pairo nor everyone else." She started, using her thumb to whip his tears away. Now placing her arm down on the ground. "If I could go back in time, I would happily end my life if that meant I could save you all."

"Stop it."

"But please know, I am so proud of you for the man you've become. You survived all this time on your own. I am so proud of how much of a kind-hearted man you became. How you look out for your comrades."

"I said that's enough."

"If you believe my death would help alleviate your pain, then just-."

"I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Watching Kurapika raise his sword, Vividus shut her eyes shut as she was expecting the blade to impale through her chest. But instead, she heard a loud thud that was beside her head. Slowly opening her eyes, Vividus looked over to see the blade was now beside her head. Impaled into the ground.

Turning her head, she looked up at Kurapika, wide eyes to see that he didn't end up taking her life. She frowned, watching her brother tremble in front of her. "Why..."

Getting off her body, he would now sit away from her and stood on his knees. Vividus lifted herself up from the ground, not taking her eyes away from her brother. She doesn't understand, why didn't he kill her?

"I understand now," He said weakly, tears strolling down his eyes as it started to mix with her blood that was placed on his cheek.

She was about to say something, but Kurapika raised his hand to stop her from talking. "But...I don't think I can trust myself to be around you right now. Especially how I aimlessly tried to hurt you, kill you even." He stood up from his spot. Starting to walk away from her as he was heading into the forest. "Just...leave me alone."

"Kurapika wait," She said, grabbing onto his wrist weakly. Stopping him in his tracks.

Shaking his head, he looked down at Vividus was a sad smile on his face. Not wanting to hear any more from Vividus. "Please...just go."

Seeing the sad look on his face, Vividus felt the last piece of herself suddenly chipped away. Letting go of his wrist, she watched her brother walk away from him. His figure no longer in her line of view as he disappeared into the forest.

A few hours had passed, and Kurapika came back. Finally gathering his thoughts together. He felt like he was in a better mindset. He felt guilty, terrible for saying all of those awful things to his older sister.

Reflecting on the conversation exchanged between the two, he finally came into acceptance that none of it was her fault. Vividus didn't know that the event was going to play out as it did. Looking back on how she explained the punishment she got for her memories to be taken away like that, being used by someone Vividus claimed she loved.

Kurapika felt ashamed of himself for not letting Vividus express her side of the story. He felt like he should've understood her point of her and her feelings. Vividus put herself in his shoes and understood where he was coming from, yet he wasn't able to do the same? If his mother was alive, she would've beaten him for acting like that.

The younger brother should've realized that it's not just him who suffered, but also Vividus. Both of them suffered because of the Phantom Troupe, both of them thought the other was dead. Kurapika felt so guilty for acting out as he did towards her, hurting her both physically and emotionally.

"Onee-san? Where are you?"

Calling out to her, he tried to find Vividus to see if he could apologize for his behavior. Entering the kitchen, he was hoping to find his sister sitting around the counter area: writing in her usual notebook with a new cup of coffee in her hands.

However, instead, all he found was a note left on the counter. Blinking a few times, he picked it up and read it's content. Kurapika's heart dropped, feeling his heart tighten as he read those simple words.

"I'm sorry for everything,

We'll meet again in Yorknew City.

-V"

Dropping the letter out of his hands, Kurapika ran around the now repaired home. Running to her room first, he slammed the door open to see all of her stuff is gone. He started to search through every room of the house, hoping that she is in at least one of the places.

Running back downstairs, he ran outside to see if his sister was there. But there are no traces of her besides that note. Feeling that instant grief and regret, he started to blame himself for saying all of those terrible things to her. Regretting his choice of words when he told his sister to leave. He wanted to take it all back, just hug her like he should've done. But it was too late.

Vividus is gone.

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Hello everyone! I hope all of you are doing well and staying safe during this pandemic!

I know the last chapter ended on a sad note. But I promise you I have a lot planned for the upcoming future chapters! But with that being said, I'm going to take a break. But don't worry! I won't be giving up on this fanfic as I love it just as much as you guys do!

At the current moment, I've been working on an Arc of my own original idea that I thought would be fun to write. It will be titled: "The White Garden Project". During this Arc, not only the Jester and the Kurta woman will become closer, but a few OC characters will also be introduced! This Arc will be outside of the original Canon at first, but it will be connected to the Original at some point! Be prepared for some action, feels, and some badass moments in this one!

Once The White Garden Project ends, that is when I'm going to be transitioning into the Yorknew City Arc!

During this time, I'm also going to edit the chapters as well. I feel like there are a couple of chapters that could do some revision.

If you are also curious on what Vividus looks like, I have another account on ArchievesOfOurOwn. Some Chapters have images of what Vividus looks like! My username on there is the same as this one, aka 'NezuVIX'

Thank you all again for the comments, love, and kudos! I will see you all again soon!

Love,

NezuVIX