Evelyn had grown more worried the closer they got to Kinloch Hold as they rode on the Imperial Highway. Knowing only that Cullen had served at the Circle there during the Blight. She had only heard small stories of what had happened to him while he was there. Evelyn never pressed for more information, she thought he would tell her if he felt it was necessary. She knew everyone under her charge came from experiences that some wanted to leave behind them, she did not judge. If they wanted to talk to her, then she was willing to listen. Cullen was no different.

As they traveled east, she could see him become more distant as they approached the northern reaches of Lake Calenhad once they passed the Gherlen's Pass. In the beginning, he was jovial, making light banter with the other members of the party. Talking to his soldiers about a variety of things that did not involve defenses and training. An occasional grunt of disapproval when Varric was recanting a vivid story of meeting Hawke for the first time on the Wounded Coast. The look on his face, his demeanor became sullener as they reached the north.

"Would you like some?" Evelyn asked as she held out a small wrapped package.

Cullen did not hear her, lost in thought. It was not until she nudged him. He turned to look at her. For a moment he felt lost, unsure who she was until her name finally came to his lips. "I'm sorry, Evelyn. I was…" He lifted his hand to rub at the back of his neck. "Well…I was not here for a moment."

She pushed her hand against him again, nodding. "That's all right. It's easy to let your mind wander when you're traveling. Do you want some?"

Looking at the small package, he smiled. "Where did you get chocolate?" he asked as he took a piece.

"Maxwell. I don't know how he's getting it or from where but it's for the best," she said, taking a small piece. "If I knew where it was coming from, you'd be rolling me into battle."

For the first time in hours, Cullen laughed. "Now that would be interesting." Breaking a small piece off the larger piece he held, he placed it in his mouth. "I may need to do a thorough search for contraband in the mage tower when we return."

Evelyn smiled. "Does our Commander Rutherford have a sweet tooth?" she teased.

Taking a deep breath, Cullen turned to look at her. "We did not get many luxuries in the Order. We accepted what we were fed, clothing provided to us. Chocolate sadly, was not one of those things that the Chantry felt was necessary to be a good, little Templar."

"Shame I didn't know this sooner. If all I had to do was wave a piece of licorice in front of you would have been eating out of my hands."

"My lady, it would have to be something much more enticing than licorice for that to happen," Cullen said, taking another bite.

"I will have to remember that in the future," she said.

He lifted his head, cursing at the sky. The clouds were getting thicker and the smell of rain was getting stronger. "We're going to need to seek shelter for the night."

Evelyn looked up at the sky. With the mixture of darkening clouds as well as the nightfall it was going to be difficult to continue their journey. "You know this area better than I."

"Sadly, yes. There's an inn up the bend," he said, pointing in the direction. "It's not much but it's better than sleeping in the rain. Please excuse me."

She folded the chocolate back in the package and returned it to the belt pouch that she wore on her side as Cullen rode off. Looking back up at the sky, she watched the flash of lightning streak across the Ferelden sky. For a short time, she enjoyed the beauty of it. Life as Inquisitor did not allow her much time to stop and enjoy the beauty of what was happening around her. Yet even as the rain began to start to fall around them, hitting her face, she smiled for a moment.

"Take what you can get, Eve," she thought. The gentle sprinkle began to increase until it was a downpour. "Even if it's for a minute."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"I want everyone alert. We're not here to drink the night away," Cullen told his men as they worked to secure the horses. "We still need to be vigilant during our travels."

"Aye, sir," several of his men and women called out as they saluted him before going to work.

Cullen turned, standing in the rain as he looked out over Lake Calenhad. His hands trembled at his side as he stared across the water. There were lights in various windows throughout the hold, showing there was life inside. His heart pounded in his chest, throbbing in his ears. When the thunder crashed overhead, he started.

"Cullen?"

The sound of someone calling his name sounded as if it came from miles away. When he felt a hand on his upper arm, he let out a gasp and spun around, his sword nearly completely removed from its sheath. It was not until he saw the arrow point in his face that he realized what he had done. Varric held Bianca aimed at him, his finger not on the trigger but just enough that he could release it in less than a second.

"I…I am sorry," he said as he returned his sword to his sheath.

Varric waited until he saw the blade back in the sheath before lowering Bianca and returning it to the holster across his back. The rain was coming down harder on them, the thunder shaking the ground as the lightning burned across the sky. Cullen could not move; he was ashamed of what he had done.

"You okay there, Curly?" he asked. "The Inquisitor was worried that you hadn't come in with your people."

"I…uhm..." He looked back over his shoulder, shaking his head. "Got distracted."

The dwarf moved closer to him to stand at his side. Looking across the lake, Varric took in the hold before turning back to the man. "That the place?"

His head slowly nodded. "Yes," he answered.

"How long has it been?"

Cullen turned to look at Varric and shook his head. "Not long enough. That day that I took that boat across the lake and landed on this dock was right after the Blight ended."

"You goin' to be all right?" the dwarf asked.

"I'll be fine," Cullen answered.

"C'mon. Let's get inside before Dorian and Bull start having a drinking contest with the bar owner."

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

"Warden, get over here!" a dwarf woman yelled as the little boy ran through the tavern, running into Evelyn as she stood beside the counter.

Evelyn lowered herself to her knee and smiled at the young, dwarven boy who looked about eight years old. "Are you all right?" she asked, looking at the young boy.

"I'm fine," he said, looking at her with a wide smile on his face. "Are you mercenaries? Soldiers?"

She chuckled, shaking her head. "What's your name?" she asked.

"Warden, ma'am," he answered proudly.

"Warden? That's a great name. My name is Evelyn," she said.

"Mamma!" Warden yelled as he looked over his shoulder at the woman standing behind him. "She said I got a great name."

The dwarven woman walked up, placing her hands on his shoulders. "Well, your father thinks it is," she said, looking down at him. Lifting her head, she looked at Evelyn. "Welcome to the Spoiled Princess. Under new management." She turned to look over her shoulder at the dwarven man that was behind the bar counter, pouring mugs of mead into them and drinking with the mage and Qunari that sat on the other side of the bar. "That is if he doesn't drink all of the merchandise." Sighing heavily, she turned back to Evelyn. "I'm Felsi. What can I get for you?"

"It's nice to meet you Felsi. We're looking for a few rooms for tonight if you have anything available," Evelyn said as she patted the young boy on the head, tousling his reddish strands as she stood up. "We'll take anything you have."

"You've came a good time," Felsi said. "The inn's empty and stupid over there just added some more rooms to the inn."

"Who ya callin' stupid, woman?" the bartender shouted with a loud belch. "I'll 'ave ya know that I – "

"Fought against the archdemon and a talking darkspawn," Felsi said, shaking her head. "No one cares, Oghren."

Evelyn had been following the woman stopped and looked at the bartender. "You're Oghren? As in Warden Oghren?"

"See, woman! People know me!" Oghren shouted as he looked at his wife. Seeing Felsi roll her eyes and shake her head, he laughed. "I told ya I'm still som'thin'."

"Oh, yes," Felsi said, her voice seeping with sarcasm. "You're something all right." She turned back to Evelyn and sighed. "Don't encourage him. Please."

Laughing, Evelyn nodded. "I'll behave. Can't guarantee those two at the bar won't, Felsi."

"They're all the same. No matter where they come from," the woman said. Throwing a hand up, she waved her to follow. "C'mon. I'll show you the rooms we have available. I'll let you decide where everyone goes."

Evelyn followed her up the small set of stairs to the next level. "Why do you think I'm in charge?"

Felsi stopped and wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing. "Honey, trust me. I've been around Grey Wardens, soldiers, mages and nobles on a daily basis. I'm a quick study of who is in charge, who will be leaving good tips. And who that idiot of mine will be tossing out by the end of the night." She pointed at Evelyn's hand. "And since you're wearing the mark of Andraste, I'm going to assume you'll be the one in charge and leaving good tips."

Evelyn laughed. "Want a job with the Inquisition, Felsi? I could use a woman like you around."

"And leave all of this luxury and decadence?" Felsi said with a scoff. "Why would I do that?"

"Oh…I do like you," Evelyn said as she continued to follow Felsi, trying to remember which rooms they would be able to use for the evening.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Cullen followed Varric inside the Spoiled Princess, finding himself surrounded by an uproar of laughter. Bull and Dorian were at the bar with several of his men gathered around the bartender. The dwarf was up on the bar counter holding a broom as if it was a two-handed weapon.

"Sweet Maker," Cullen muttered. "I'm stuck in this accursed place and he's here, too."

Varric looked over his shoulder at the commander and frowned. "You know this guy?"

Eyes closed, head lowered, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, Cullen could feel the throbbing in his ears as the headache that had been brewing for hours began to get worse. "Unfortunately." Sighing heavily, he shook his head. "Many years ago. During the Blight."

"Bartender here?"

"Grey Warden actually," Cullen answered.

Varric spun around to look at the other dwarf to see him swinging the broom around. Iron Bull had to duck his head down to prevent the dwarf from striking his horns as the broom flew through the air. Turning back to Cullen, he looked in disbelief. "This guy? A Grey Warden?"

Nodding, Cullen rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Seriously?" Varric said, looking at the dwarf who was now chugging down a full tankard of mead and letting loose a belch that rattled the windows. "Him?"

Sighing, Cullen nodded again. "That Varric, is Warden Oghren. One of the Hero's of the Fifth Blight."

Varric continued to look shocked as he watched the dwarf. "Well shit." Placing his hands on his hips, he shook his head. "I always thought he was taller."

Cullen's hand came up to wipe it across his face. He was beginning to think this may have been a bad decision going on this journey. He knew he would need to pass through areas that he had hoped he would never be required to go through. Especially on the other side of the lake from Kinloch Hold. Tonight, he knew sleep would evade him or he would be facing more nightmares.

The sound of youthful giggles pulled him away from his inner pain. Lowering his hand from his face, he found Evelyn walking into the bar from the rear of the building, holding a young dwarven boy in her arms. A smile on her face as she laughed with him as he was talking to her. Even through the pain and anxiety that he was facing, a nervous smile curled his lips as he watched her play with the young boy.

She approached him, making a fake gagging noise as the boy wrapped his arms around her neck.

"Warden, this is Commander Rutherford. Leader of the Inquisition armies," Evelyn said as she lowered the boy to his feet on the floor in front of her.

The boy held out his hand to the Commander. "Hello, Commander," the boy said.

Cullen lowered down to his knee, holding out his hand. "Hello, Warden. It is good to meet you."

"Warden," Felsi said as she walked up closer to them. "It's time for bed."

"But, mamma," the boy whined as he turned to her. "Can't I stay up late t'night?"

Tapping the young boy on the shoulder, Cullen smiled. "You must do as your mother wants you to do, Warden. Now go on, get some sleep."

The boy's lips puckered to pout but eventually he turned around, taking his mother's hand so she chould send him off to bed for the evening. "G'night, Commander. Ink…inki…"

"Evelyn," she said.

Warden smiled. "G'night, Ev'lyn."

"Good night, Warden."

Cullen stepped up behind her, brushing his fingers against hers. She spun around, looking up at him.

"You found yourself a friend," he said, staring down at her.

She laughed as she pushed back wet strands of hair from her face. "Actually, he ran into me. Nearly knocking me over." She turned to look across the bar. "Interesting place here out in the middle of nowhere."

"Templars, farmers, mages all used to come here years ago," Cullen said, looking around the bar. His mind began to wander off to years ago. Sitting in the corner of the bar, drinking with fellow templars during a rare off time.

"Did you?"

"Did I what?" he asked, turning back to her.

"Come here before?"

"On rare occasion, yes," he answered.

Evelyn frowned as she reached a hand out and hooked her small finger around his. "Are you all right?"

He nodded slowly. "I'm tired. The last few days have been exhausting. With the Winter Palace and now this."

"It has been some long days, Cullen."

He turned her hand, so he was able to hold it firmly in his palm. Squeezing it, he smiled. "You should get some rest. I don't want you falling asleep on your horse tomorrow."

She was about to protest to tell him she was not tired but the yawn she was covering with her hand was a giveaway. Cullen smiled at her, tilting his head slightly.

"Go rest, Evelyn."

She nodded. "I will." Her expression turned to that of worry. "Cullen," she said, her voice lowered. "You need to try to rest, too." He was about to protest but she stopped him, shaking her head. "I know it's not easy for you to be here. I'd be a poor leader if I didn't know that this place is probably the last place you want to be right now. But try to sleep." Reaching into the pouch on her side, she pulled out a small potion vial and stuck it in his hand. "It's Maxwell's mixture. It helps me sleep and it might help you, too."

Cullen allowed her to place the vial in his palm and wrap his fingers around it. Inhaling deeply, he slowly blew it back out. This woman before him was unlike any other. Her concern for him was genuine, not asking for anything in return. She cared for those around her, those that followed her without thinking of herself.

"You may need it tonight," Evelyn said. She turned her head and nodded in Varric's direction. "Dorian and Bull are sharing a room so that leaves you to share a room with Varric. He snores."

"There's no proof in that," Varric said, taking a drink from his mug.

"Thank you," Cullen said, holding the vial tighter in his hand. "I will consider it."

"Don't consider it," she said, covering her mouth to yawn. "Just use it." Turning away from him, she looked out over the bar. "Get to bed you lot! I'm not picking your drunken arses up in the morn!" With that said, she turned around, gave Cullen a smile and a nod before walking upstairs to her room.

"Oi! She's a feisty one, ain't she?" Oghren yelled out. "Reminds me of my ol' Warden Commander…"

Cullen shook his head when he began to hear the dwarf start a story about the Wardens and the Commander, Solana Amell. He had enough for tonight. If being this close to Kinloch was enough, standing around listening to Oghren retell stories about a woman that he once thought he loved was not how he wanted to spend the remainder of the evening.

Spinning on his heel, he made his way slowly up the steps to find his room. Once inside, he removed his clothing and dressed down to a simple pair of lightweight pants. Hanging his clothing up to allow to dry, he stoked the fire and looked at the vial in his hand. Tonight, may be a good night to begin to trust her brother and take the draught. Anything that would allow him to sleep being this close to the nightmares that haunted his memories would be welcoming.

Going to the bed, he pulled back the blankets and sat down. Popping the cork off the vial, he quickly drank the purplish contents and laid down on the bed. He prayed to the Maker before closing his eyes that it would be a dreamless night as world began to dissolve around him as he slowly faded off to sleep.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Evelyn was up and dressed early. She well considering she could hear the drunken gathering going on beneath her during the night. A silent prayer was said that she did not have to suffer through a group of hungover soldiers the entire day. A hungover Dorian she was used to but more than that she was not ready for. She half expected to find bodies all over the floor of the bar but what she did find surprised her.

The bar was empty and quiet. No bodies on the floor. The only person up was Cullen who was sitting at the bar with a book before him, drinking from a large mug. The wonderful smell of fresh coffee filled her nose as she walked closer to where he sat.

"Please tell me there's more," she said as she pulled up a barstool beside him.

"There's plenty," he said, standing up to walk around the bar. He picked up the still warm kettle and poured her a mug full of coffee. "Felsi was gracious enough to say i could make some before she went back to sleep. Apparently, it was a long night."

"Why am I not surprised," she said, shaking her head. Closing her eyes, she took a sip of the coffee and smiled around the rim of the mug. "This is stronger than what we get back at Skyhold."

Cullen nodded as he sat back down beside her. "Quite. You're used to that stuff Josephine gets brought in from Orlais. This is Ferelden coffee."

Turning to look at him, her smile grew. "There's a lot about Ferelden I still have to learn about."

His hand moved across the countertop to cover hers. Twining his fingers with hers, he enjoyed being able to just sit with her, drink coffee and be able to hold her hand without people staring them down or questioning them. "There is." Lowering his head briefly, he inhaled deeply before lifting his eyes back to hers. "Maybe when this is over we could spend some time together."

"I would like that very much, Cullen," she said. "Did you sleep well?"

Taking a long breath, he nodded slowly. "I was able to sleep some. I must thank your brother for that."

Taking another drink, she sat the mug back down. "Good." She turned on the stool to face him better. "I was afraid that you wouldn't. I know this is hard for you to be here. This close to the hold."

Swallowing the lump forming in his throat, Cullen closed his eyes and squeezed her hand that he held. It was not until she placed her other hand against his cheek that he opened his eyes. He found himself staring into her emerald eyes, full of concern.

"You don't have to tell me, Cullen. When you want to, I'll listen. But I will never ask you to share something you don't want to," she said, her voice low and soft.

Releasing her hand, he cupped his hands over her cheeks to pull her closer to him to kiss her. The kiss was quickly cut too short for them because they heard rumbling from the rear of the bar. They parted and turned away from each other. Evelyn smiled when she saw Warden come running from the rear of the bar in her direction.

"Ev'lyn!" he said, jumping into her arms.

Evelyn sat him on her lap, letting him hug her. "You really don't get a lot of visitors, do you?"

"We get visitors," Felsi said as she tied her hair behind her back. "Most people just ignore him." Picking up her apron, she wrapped it around her waist. "You on the other hand, you made the mistake of talking to him."

"He's a wonderful young man," Cullen said, looking at the young boy. "Are you named after your father? He's a Warden."

"Named him after my commander," Oghren said as he came from behind. The dwarf was yawning loudly as he stretched his arms. "Warden Commander Amell."

Evelyn turned to look at Oghren, deep in thought. "Oghren, can I ask you a question?" she asked as she shifted Warden from one leg to the other. "We're investigating something about the Orlesian Wardens all turned up missing."

He stroked his fingers down the braids of his beard. "Ya workin' for that dipstick, Alistair?"

Cullen shook his head. "No. We're with the Inquisition."

The dwarf looked at Cullen through narrowed eyes and began to point at the commander. "I know you. You're that – "

"Have you been hearing the Calling?" Evelyn blurted out. "All of the Wardens in Orlais are hearing the Calling?"

Tapping the side of his head with the palm of his hand a couple of times, he laughed loudly. "I 'ear so much I don' know iffin its real or not."

Felsi rolled her eyes, shaking her head as she sighed. Seeing the concern in Evelyn and Cullen's face, she slides her hands into the pockets of her apron. "He hasn't said anything about hearing anything. When Amell came through her months ago, she mentioned something about it. Told me to watch him."

"Solona was here?" Cullen asked.

She nodded. "She blew in here a few months ago after visiting the hold across the lake. Had a couple drinks then took off. She told me to watch him and if he started acting stupid to get him to Denerim."

Evelyn turned to Cullen to say something about the information they were just given about Oghren not hearing the Calling. She held back when she saw Cullen turning to look out the window at Kinloch Hold. She turned back to Felsi, thanking her for the information.