TWENTY-THREE

COMPLICATED

SETH

Some days I wake up in the morning and I think to myself, "Just leave, just get out of here, Seth." Because I just can't take the tension and the negativity anymore. Mom is upset because of what people are saying about my sister. I'm upset because I can't do anything about it, and really and truly, they all should just mind their own business.

I understand the initial shock one feels after finding out that Leah and Jacob were somehow able to hide their relationship for two whole months, but it is what it is, and it's over and done with. The wolf's out of the bag. Why can't we all just move on? They certainly have.

But I already know that it's only going to get worse when the secret pregnancy comes out. Sam's on the war path and it won't be pretty once he realizes that Jacob has once again managed to do something he couldn't. Truthfully, I've had it with all the pack politics – which is unfortunately connected to my sister's love life. I wish that somehow Jacob could be the leader everyone expects him to be, without it compromising his relationship with my sister. If Jake could be happy, then we'd all be happy because things would be in order and life would go on.

Sam has really changed over the years, and he's not someone I want to continue to be forced to follow if Jacob never comes back home. It's bad enough as it is, having to take his orders. These days it feels like I am in the military more than a pack of wolves. And he's always asking me about Leah, which is annoying, especially since I'm never going to tell him what I know. Luckily, I'm still not technically part of his pack because I can't hear the thoughts of the other wolves. But for how long? At some point soon, he's going to force me and Embry to submit, and split us up. He'll rape our minds for every single detail he thinks we're hiding from him. We've already lost Quil, which was really no surprise, given that he's imprinted on Emily's niece.

I just want to get away from it all, be free from this. As soon as I get a job, I'm going to get my shit together and make my own decisions, like Leah. If I could break away from Sam once, I can do it again. My loyalty will ultimately never be to him, unless Jacob and Leah order me to submit. I'm pretty sure that in spite of everything that has happened, Embry feels the same.

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My phone rings, and I roll over on the bed to answer it, surprised to see the culprit calling so early in the a.m.

"Morning Lee-Lo."

"Morning Sethy, you've got your final exam today right?"

I smile, touched that my sister would even know. Mom must have told her to wish me good luck. "Yeah I do." I'm beyond relieved to be done with summer school. I finally have all the credits I need to graduate.

"Are you ready?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be an easy one."

"Okay, Brainiac, sounds like you've got it covered."

"Yeap." After all I didn't get a full scholarship for nothing. School was never Leah's favorite thing, she did well enough averaging between B's and C's, but was not an A student like me. "How are you feeling?"

"Great actually. Um…Jacob's here with me."

"Seriously? Wow. So I take it you told him and everything's hunky dory with you two now?"

"Yeah, more or less. We've been trying to work through our issues the last couple of days but we're good. Excited about the baby."

"Yeah, I would have loved to see Jake's face when you told him."

Leah chuckles on the line. "Yeah, he was pretty shocked. So, everything going okay with the pack?"

"I guess, I dunno. Patrol is fine but I hate the regular meetings. Sam's always up our asses about one thing or another, like it's all about improving 'pack image' in the tribe. He's got this code of conduct and all these rules…He's trying to erase all the gossip and propaganda about us I guess. It's been so many years though, I thought people were over the mystery by now, but I guess for his political stuff it matters what people say."

"Sam has officially lost his mind. I'm sorry. I know that Jake and I are being selfish, Seth. We're aware of that."

"Yeah well, if you really feel sorry, come home. Jake needs to make shit right. I didn't tell you before but Mom voted Sam onto the Council, she's pretty pissed she did it. But she figured if Jacob's disappeared there was nothing else to be done – plus Sam is family, it wouldn't look good if she snubbed another Uley. And the Alpha's gotta sit on the Council, and Sam's Alpha."

"I get it, okay? Jake and I talked about it. But I'm the one who's hesitant to go back, not him. He wants to set things right with you all and I hope you'll let him."

"Well then come home Leah! It's bigger than you, okay? We're supposed to be a family, you don't run out on family. Your baby should be born into a time of peace."

"I said I was sorry Seth. You know I had to leave."

"You keep saying that but it really doesn't mean shit until you get back. You're together now, you've got your future with your child. So what's there to be scared of, Lee? No one's going to break up your family. Just come home."

My sister sighs on the line and tells me she'll talk to Jacob. I can only hope that she'll do the right thing. Leah's a really strong-willed person and it's weird seeing her act so scared of Sam and Billy. Hopefully Jacob will be strong enough for both of them and encourage her to do what's right. I know I'm not the only one who agrees. I know Mom does too, but she probably won't say anything because we both know how much Leah had put up with for years.

I really don't like bullying her to come back, especially since I supported her taking a break from the start. But she had her freedom, she got her man, now she needs to think of everyone else.

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When I enter the kitchen, I kiss my mother good morning and take a seat at the table. She's already dressed in her nurses' uniform to head to the clinic. Her raven hair is rolled neatly into a bun at the back of her head. She looks tired, but content. The sadness is not so prevalent in her eyes unless she's thinking hard about Dad or Leah. It's still weird sitting here, it being only two people instead of four, or three, and it's not something I like getting used to.

"Did your sister call you?"

"Yeap."

"She said when she's coming home?"

I snort. "No, in fact she still doesn't want to come back, Jake does though."

Mom grunts and shakes her head as she sips her coffee and turns back to her paper in the other hand. "Those two. As much as I wish this drama never happened, I'm happy to see Jacob step up for her. Leah needs a man like that, who can fight for her sometimes. My daughter needs to remember that she doesn't have to face this world by herself all the time."

"Sam certainly isn't half the Alpha that Jake is. Sometimes I wonder if we know anything about imprinting at all. It seems to be different for each one of them, doesn't it?" I dig into the hot breakfast before the eggs get cold.

"Yes. It does, but I still think it's all about what the girl wants. Emily knew what she wanted Seth, and it was Sam. He threw himself at her feet and it was the first time she ever knew what a man's devotion could feel like. Clearly Bella's little hybrid does not want Jacob. Otherwise, he wouldn't be with your sister."

"In a way, it's good he imprinted on Nessie when she was a baby." My mother rolls her eyes. It's so annoying that everyone in the pack and Council prefer "vampire girl" or "hybrid" to using Renesmee's name. "She's Charlie's grand-daughter, I hope you don't call her that around him."

"No I don't. I'm sorry, old habits I guess. And child-imprinting will forever be the worst thing about imprinting on the whole. Quil is suffering under my great-niece's thumb."

"He's really happy to be back with Sam and Emily it seems. He hates Jake now."

"Yes well, it was to be expected - though not reasonable."

I grunt in agreement and continue to eat. Mom starts clearing away dishes and carrying them to the sink for me to wash.

"Oh before I forget Seth, the Council is throwing you a graduation party. So you decide if you have one or two friends from college you'd like to ask. Invite them."

"What?" I look up at my mother with apprehension. "A party?"

"For you and Colin and Brady of course. But it would be our way of congratulating you three on your achievements. And with some of the pack phasing out, this will be a good send off for everybody. You are all entering a new chapter in your lives, you're going from boys to men now. The Council wants to honor you. And I want to honor my son, on behalf of his father as well."

The burn of tears in my throat causes me to force my egg sandwich down with some juice. "Thanks Mom, that sounds cool," I tell her casually, barely able to meet her eyes. It's a nice gesture and all, even though I'm not sure I want to celebrate anything at all.

And I don't know how cool it would be without Jake and Leah there. It's pathetic, but I don't want to start any new chapters without them.

"Did you tell Leah?"

"No, I left that up to you. You may invite her if you wish. I've decided that if she wants to be gone, then she's not obligated to know what's happening unless absolutely necessary."

"Reverse psychology, huh?" I chuckle, not surprised. I know my mother well enough.

Mom looks at me and smirks. "Hopefully she will not forget the importance of family when you tell her."

I grunt, knowing how torn I am about my sister's absence. I really want her to be happy, but I just wish she could be happy here with us. Although I want her here for selfish reasons, I also don't want my niece or nephew to be without family too. I want to be a part of their life and watch them grow. The anticipation of being an uncle is new and exciting to me. I can't wait to be best buds with the little boy or girl. A part of my feels robbed, and I know Mom will feel the same tenfold. My sister is really not thinking clearly on that one.

"Finish up your breakfast, son, you've got to at least arrive at school with a full belly."

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I'm getting my stuff organized to go catch the bus when I hear a truck outside.

Embry steps out, dressed in his overalls from the auto shop. He splits his time between there and the convenience store which he runs with his mother.

"Hey," he calls, and I nod in response. "You got school today?"

"Yeap, final exam."

"Oh cool, you ready?"

"Yeah, it should be pretty easy."

Embry smiles, "Alright Smartypants."

"Whatever," I smile back, thinking that he and Leah like to tease me too much – I'm pretty sure she's rubbed off on him. It's weird having a brother that no one acknowledges to be your brother. But until Mom says something about it, I won't. I'm glad that at least I know the truth and that we have our own relationship.

"You hear from Jake?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck, as he grabs a glass of ice water.

"Not recently," Not since he broke my nose! "But I know that he's with Leah now."

"Oh word?" Embry raises his eyebrows at looks over at me.

"Yeap."

"Shit, so they're like, together or whatever?"

"Seems that way. But it's a secret okay?" I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. But it's Embry, he knows not to blab about our pack. Still, I don't tell him that they're in Hawaii, or that our sister's pregnant.

"So are you cool with that?"

I shrug, lacing up my worn-out Adidas. I really need a better job than the bookstore at school (which I'll have to give up now that I'm a graduate anyways). "I've decided that it's not my place to get in between the Alpha and Beta. I'd say it's the real deal with those two. Plus, Leah's my sister, and she deserves to be happy. If he's it, then I'll support it."

Embry seems to get what I'm trying to say. Not only is Jacob his best friend, but Leah's his sister too. He should be on their side.

I honestly don't think Jacob will ever change his mind about her. He never gets that lovesick look on his face like Paul or Jared when talking about his imprint. It's pretty obvious that he's hung up on my sister. Her leaving, hit him pretty hard. He didn't seem to have any problems being away from Nessie as compared to Leah.

Piecing together all the little quirks in his behavior over the last couple months have made it obvious that he really wants to be with Leah. I feel bad about being such a dick to him after she left, but I just don't wanna see her or Nessie get hurt. At the time it felt like he was only thinking of himself rather than them, but I was wrong. He's been trying to make everyone happy and still get what he wants, and honestly, there's no law against that.

"I just don't get how he can be with someone that's not his imprint. Quil won't shut up about it, and it's driving me nuts. I guess I just don't know if he's really wrong or not. I mean, it's kinda weird that Quil thinks about a future with Claire while she's still a kid. Don't you think?"

I grunt. "I guess, yeah. But it's all he's got."

"But is it though? She's a kid. If Jake could be with Leah, then Quil could surely be with women until she grows up. Honestly, I think it would do him the world of good. He acts so fucking immature because he spends all of his time being bossed around by a little girl."

I snort and shake my head, remembering my mother's comment earlier. I really don't want to talk badly about my pack brother, but Embry's got a valid point. Quil IS the most annoying wolf on the Res.

"Just leave him be Em. I think, judging from Jake, it's all about the man and his control over the wolf. Quil isn't trying to dominate his, he just lets it have its way, and he's got a set picture for what his life has to be. Jake is different in his approach. His imprint is different."

"I guess. I never really gave it much thought until he refused to be with her. Do you still want to imprint? Don't you get tired of waiting?"

I take a breath before turning to him. "I still do, but I can wait. Now that I'm finished school, I have other things I wanna do first. I'm not in a rush for it to happen. If I stop phasing next year without it, I won't mind." Embry nods, seeming to have something heavy on his shoulders. "What's wrong, did you imprint?"

He shakes his head. "But, I've been thinking lately that maybe it would be a good thing if I did."

"Why?"

"Cause, I just feel so fucking useless, Seth. All these years and I've got nothing going for me. I work and I patrol. That's it. I'm tired of not having someone. I'd like to go on dates, have kids one day, go on trips. I'm just tired of the same shit every day. But then I think about the fact that it could be a kid I imprint on, and then I freak out. I haven't even been to see Paul's kid, and I probably never will." He exhales loudly and it surprises me how frustrated Embry really is over not having his mate.

"Maybe you should just date. You want someone, she doesn't have to be your imprint."

"But what if I get invested in a relationship and then imprint?"

I huff. How many times have I had that same thought? "You just have to go for it, if the girl is worth it. We can't live our lives just waiting for something that might not happen – that's not living. And maybe the quota of imprints is filled for our generation."

Embry pouts, considering my answer then nods. "Maybe you're right."

Then an idea comes to me. "Let's go clubbing soon. We can spend the weekend in Port Angeles, and just have fun, forget being wolves for a few days. You could try to meet someone. We owe it to ourselves. Colin and Brady and Quil could come, it'll be like a graduation turn up."

Embry chuckles at the thought. "Yeah bro. I think I'd like that."

I smile and we pump fists, then I ask him to drop me to the bus stop near the convenience store, since he's already made me late.

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After the exam I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm going to graduate! It feels so good to have achieved something so important, to do something that few people of my tribe have the option to do. Just thinking about how proud my Dad would be of me right now, makes it all worth it. I guess a party to celebrate IS a great idea. I'm into the idea now that I'm actually done with school.

Not long after I get home from Port Angeles and start rabidly looking for grub, my phone rings.

"Hey Ness," I smile to myself.

I can't help the little butterflies that swarm in the pit of my stomach. I am well aware that Nessie's my Alpha's imprint, it's not that I'm love with her or anything, but she's really cool to talk to - and we've been doing a lot of talking in the last couple of days. We're getting closer at an alarming rate and the thought of that makes me anxious, though not in an entirely bad way. It's occurred to me that Jacob leaving Paris is probably the reason she's started calling more. She hasn't really talked about him, and I haven't either, because I figure that if she wanted to go down that road, she'd be the first to bring it up.

"Hey, Seth, it's me. Congratulations on finishing your degree, how was it?"

I feel a sudden rush at the fact that she called to congratulate me. "It was great actually, I'm now a civil engineer. Can you believe it?" Grinning like a damn fool, I set my phone on the counter and turn on the speaker. I pull out some meat Mom left marinating in the fridge, pasta and veggies to cook. Mom spends a lot of time at Charlie's, so I've learned how to fend for myself – as she intended.

"Yes I can, you're so smart."

"Thanks Ness. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay I guess," she sighs.

"What's wrong, you sound a bit down."

"Maybe I am a little. But that's not what I called to talk about, I was thinking of taking a trip. Annnnd I was wondering what you would think about it."

"Oh really? Where?" my brows rise in anticipation.

"To Forks, to stay at my parents' cottage."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, is that okay? You sound totally shocked," Nessie chuckles on the line.

I shake my head as if she can see me, but truth is I am very shocked. My mind immediately goes to the treaty, but then I remember that the amicable banishment of the Cullens does not include Jacob's imprint.

"No I just didn't expect you to say that, that's all. Everything's okay though, right?"

"Yes Seth, I wanted to see you and I am finished summer school too. I was thinking maybe we could celebrate somehow, maybe take a road trip across the Olympic or go to the club - whatever you'd like to do, it would be my treat, my gift to you."

"What?" I snort. "Nessie that's totally unnecessary-"

"Hence the word GIFT, Seth! Please let me do this? I really want to. You've helped me through a tough time, even though you didn't know half of what was going on with me. And I really just want to say thank you for being my friend. It would be nice for us to hang out as adults now," she chuckles quietly.

I grunt in protest like an idiot, before taking a deep breath in resignation. "Thank you, Renesmee. It sounds like fun." I'll try not to worry about what Edward would think about me hanging out with his daughter, or what my Alpha would think about me taking a road trip with his imprint. (A road trip sounds awesome.)

"Now, that's better. Wasn't so hard, see?" Nessie laughs in my ear, prompting me to laugh at myself too. Being from the Res, taking charity doesn't always sit well, but she's right. It would be a gift, whatever I want to do. Thinking about my plans with Embry, I realize that I can't bring her along for a bros' weekend geared at getting him laid. Then I remember the graduation party.

"There's going to be a graduation party next week. I want you to be there." My heart hammers against my chest but I ignore it. The invitation could potentially stir up more problems with the Council or Sam. But for once I push those thoughts aside. I don't want to people-please. I've graduated school and I'm moving on with my life – having fun needs to be part of that. The graduates can invite whomever they want to their celebrations, and I choose her as my special guest, aside from Aaron and John from my physics class.

"Wow, really?" she gasps softly, sounding pleased.

"Yeah."

"That would be awesome, Seth, thank you. But are you sure it would be okay for me to be there?"

"You're an imprint, whether or not your wolf is present, you are part of the pack in a way. No one can rightfully turn you away if you are invited. Don't worry about that okay? If you come, it's to have fun and meet the others finally, so we can all stop wondering about each other."

"That sounds perfect, even if slightly intimidating as well. I do need to talk to the Chief anyways, about my no-go with your Alpha."

"Oh yeah? Why?" I'm a little surprised she'd want to do that, without Jacob too it seemed.

It was ballsy. And kinda intriguing.

"Because I want to help Jacob and Leah get his approval. This whole thing is totally out of hand just because of me. It's the least I can do for them."

I'm impressed. "That's very noble of you, Ness. I appreciate you for wanting to do that for my sister. The Chief really needs to hear it from your lips to believe that you're not being wronged."

"I figured. I just really want to see Jake back home with all of you. He left me in Spain to go be with his family, and now you all are not even speaking. I hate it."

"So when you come down you'll be bullying the pack and Council to make up with him?" I tease.

Nessie laughs on the line, a distinctly girly yet aristocratic sound. It makes me smile. "If need be I will. I've heard enough from my mother and Rose to know what to say. I'll do whatever it takes to see my best friend be happy, the imprint bond goes both ways, you know."

"So when will you fly down?" I ask her, feeling so weird while uttering the words.

"I was thinking in three days. I just need to finish up the week at work and get my paycheck."

"Look at you," I tease. "School, party, work - you're living every college kid's dream life you know?" I dump the pasta in the boiling water and resume chopping my carrots, beans and broccoli. The meat is already simmering too.

"Trust me, I admire them for being so independent at this young age. It's harder than it looks!" She teases. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"And you shouldn't, ever! You're doing great Renesmee. You get to see the world in a totally different way, you absorb so much more than a regular person can. I admire you, ya know." It's the closest I'll get to admitting to any type of feelings for this girl who amazes me.

"So my being half-vampire doesn't freak you out even just a little bit?" she asks, and I can hear the self-doubt lingering in her tone.

I shrug instinctively. "I've never really thought of you that way Ness." Even though everybody else does.

"Not even when I hunted and drank blood?" Her tone is even more skeptical.

I chuckle at the memory of her as a child out hunting with me and Jake and her parents. Many a time I'd take her out in the woods around the cottage and let her ride me like a horse, or when Jake was on patrol, we'd look for bugs and birds. I'd be her trusty side-kick, picking her up so that she could observe nests and whatever else she spotted too high up. I'd developed a soft spot for her in the early years when the coven lived in Forks.

"Not even then, okay?" I finally reassure her. "I've known you forever, Ness. I can list a whole lot of things to admire. Your diet is your personal business, and I'd never judge you for it." I know that at heart, she's pure and innocent. Ness wouldn't hurt anyone.

"I appreciate you saying that Seth, thank you."

"It's not a problem," I say quietly.

"I just wish I could pick a side you know? Be all human or all vampire, not this in- between who doesn't quite fit in either world."

"All people of mixed descent have this same problem, you know. You get the chance to make your own rules because you're literally your own unique person. Think of it as a blessing, not a curse okay? Continue to make the life YOU want to live."

"Maybe a trip back to Forks will be good for me to connect with my roots. And I won't have to hide who I am while at the cottage. I can figure things out..."

"I think that's exactly the kind of break you need. But you need to just relax and have fun. Have you told Jacob about your plans?" I have no choice but to ask.

"No. No I haven't, and neither does it really include him unless he's on your guest list. I know he's busy in Hawaii with your sister, so I won't assume that he can fly to Washington just because I'm there."

I never expected Nessie to throw shade, nor for it to be directed at her imprinter. I have no clue what the problem is, as I've made it my business to stay out of Jacob's personal life after he punched me in the nose. But she's clearly well informed with what's up with him so it seems pretty safe to get into it.

"What's going on?" I ask her with a shake of my head at my nosey question, because there's really no way I can NOT know, now.

Ness sighs dramatically into the receiver. "Look, I didn't mean to get all snippy just now. It's just that learning how to live separately from Jake and then the rest of my family, hasn't been easy."

"I know. But you'll find your stride in Paris soon enough. And you know he still cares about you no matter what."

"I really had no clue how dependent on him I was until we both left Spain. But it wouldn't be so bad if my boyfriend and I hadn't broken up. I'm just upset that everything's turned sour here in Paris…and not having Jake around just makes it all the more difficult to keep up a brave face all the time."

"Boyfriend?" I stop cooking as everything suddenly feels out of whack. I thought her whole vibe was about Jake? Nessie Cullen had a boyfriend? "Does Jake know?"

Nessie scoffs on the line. "Yes he knows, just like I know about him and Leah."

Holy shit. "Why didn't you tell me before?" I ask, a little annoyed. Had I been angry with Jake for abandoning her for nothing? I'd been cool with us not talking about Jake, but now I just feel like I am standing in the dark.

"I just didn't want to talk about any of it. I like talking to you because it takes my mind off of that stuff."

I can't help but agree. "Yeah, talking to you helps me forget about all the drama going on here in La Push too."

"Are you happy about Jake and your sister?"

"Truthfully, I wasn't at first. They were keeping it a secret, and it was a shock to find out after she just disappeared on us. And then, well, I was worried about how it would affect YOU. It didn't seem right what Jacob was doing, but he insisted that the imprint was different with you guys. I guess he was right, I didn't know you were dating too."

"Yeah well, I was keeping that on the low because of my parents and Aro. I just didn't want to expose Luc to any part of the supernatural world."

"Wow. I'm just…I had no clue."

"Yeah well, it's all in the past now I guess. Luc's gone and I'm ready to move on. The good thing about being in Forks is that the Volturi won't follow me there unless something bad were to happen."

"They better not show their disgusting faces. The pack would be all too happy to get rid of them once and for all," I growl. Just thinking about those pasty bloodsuckers makes my blood boil.

"Thanks Seth. It means a lot to me. I just don't want to cause any more trouble for anyone."

"I understand, but you're not trouble."

"Well, then I don't want to be anybody's job. I hate living in a bubble. It isn't healthy for anyone."

I sigh, understanding how she feels, always needing protection. "You're not that either, you're a friend. Practically family, you're pack."

"I'm glad you feel that way, cause I plan to be, if you all will let me."

"You got it," I smile to myself.

If Nessie needs someone to lean on, I'm definitely willing to be that person. I know I'm not a stand-in for Jacob, nor should I try to be, but nobody should suffer alone. And if I'm being honest with myself, a part of me likes the fact that she wants me to be there for her.

I want to make her happy again. I want to enjoy the rest of my summer before the real world starts. We can do that together. "I think it really is a good idea for you to come visit. We both need to just switch it up a little. We'll hang out, I'll show you the best spots, we'll get drunk and party. Let's just do it, book the flight, tonight."

I hate how cheesy I sound but I can't help it, I'm a cheesy kinda guy. A guy who just wants to throw caution to the wind and live just this one time.

Nessie giggles on the line and it makes me relax as I focus on preparing dinner.

"I am all in, no worries. I'll be there on Monday."

"Cool, I'll be at the airport with bells on."

Renesmee laughs. "I can take a taxi, silly! That's too much driving."

"Hey, what did I say? You're family. I'm coming to pick you up, end of story."

"Thank you, Seth."

By the sound of her voice, I know I've given her something to hold on to, and it feels right.

After ending the call, I get back to cooking, but my mind stays on the girl in Paris, who wants to come celebrate my graduation with me. The girl who's had her heartbroken and just needs attention, no doubt, and reassurance that she is a wonderful person, that she is worthy of love.

Maybe I can read her so well because my own sister had been that girl at one point. And now that I know the truth, and am not so far up my own ass, I can see that Jacob was the one who built Leah up again over the years, from the time they got over their constant need to bicker, in the early days after Nessie was born.

I want to be that person for Renesmee. The only problem is that I have no idea how I'm going to explain this whole plan of ours to Jacob.

Or Leah.

Oh hell.

AN: this was the chapter that made me stick a lot in posting. I just couldn't get Nessie and Seth right but here we are! Moving on! It is what it so much for your reviews and insights! And for following This! Next up we go back to Blackwater and the big decision.