Emma

I had felt deep regret when I told Killian I would go to our therapy appointment alone. It was when Killian said to me, "It's bad form to arrive at a marital counseling session separately. Has it truly gotten that bad Love?" I immediately calmed down enough to take a deep breath and think sensibly. What good would it do if I stormed off without him and then hope to mend our relationship?

I stopped walking away from him and turned around and said coolly, "Maybe you're right. We should go together since we're doing this together."

Killian and I headed out of our home together and walked together down the sidewalk. We didn't say much to each other, except for about Hope and how things had gone him staying with her earlier.

Killian and I were seated on the same sofa in Dr. Archie's office. Archie faxed us with an optimistic smile as he always did from his place in the armchair across from us. His concerning eyes ticked between us.

"Alright, so our hour has now begun." He held a notebook on his lap and a pencil in his fingers posed over the blank sheet. He said, "Who would like to begin by sharing your feelings and concerns?" He looked at both of us in turn through his glasses.

Killian's elbows were resting on his knees. He turned to look at me with a wistful yet contrite expression. "Ladies first?" he asked me with a long look at me before he licked his upper lip and looked at Archie.

I tried to remain reasonable and rational.

I dropped my palms on my lap and said, "Well, I don't think that Killian trusts me. Even though I know that he loves me and I do love him." I gazed at Killian until he lifted his remorseful eyes up at me. He listened openly as I continued, "Nothing has changed. But there is a problem with Neal." I looked at Archie.

Archie rolled his hand forward and said, "Tell me about that."

I gestured my hand at myself, "Neal no doubt lingers, and tries to connect with me. But I don't want him and I don't ever intend to cheat. I just wish that Killian, you would stop bringing him up and trust me." I faced my husband.

Killian side-glanced at me and stared blankly at Archie as if he were in denial.

Archie was nodding. "Okay. Okay. Now, I recommend that you both use 'I feel' expressions to begin your feelings. It can be hard not to blame one another, but this helps drain the accusations out form your words." Archie smiled politely at me.

I cleared my throat and said to Killian, "Okay. So I feel," I touched my chest with my hands, "That our marriage is falling apart."

Killian wheezed in a long breath as Archie and I stared at him expectantly.

Kilian rubbed his hair with a swoop of his hands raking through his hair. "I truly am sorry you feel that way Emma." He said sullenly. He bowed his head as if he didn't want to look at me anymore.

I tried to not burst out with defenses, but It was his turn to speak.

Archie said warmly, "Killian, how do you feel?"

I stared at my husband and tightened my lips, trying to maintain my composure.

Killian deliberated for a moment before he lifted his chin and looked at Archie. "I feel as if Emma doesn't want to get close to me anymore. We have been having issues with jealousy, I know it. It makes me feel sad that last night, while we were out, her old best friend hit on me. She was clearly upset at me. But there was no dalliance at all with Lily. I could never look at another woman the way that I look at you, Emma." His voice was so soft like a caress.

My heart sped up and thumped hard at the caress of his words and his sweet tone like melting chocolate. I smiled softly and looked back at Archie who was nodding as if deeply moved. He looked like he may cry himself. Maybe he needed therapy.

Killian didn't speak, so I said warmly, "I know. And I would never look at another man. But I feel like you don't believe me." I said lovingly as I briefly shared a glance with my husband.

Archie nodded at Killian, so Killian went on grimly, "The problem is, that I feel the problem is," He splayed his hand over his heart, "Is Neal. He looks for excuses to speak to my wife. He flirts with you Love. But what really bothers me is that he is around you and he covets you. I wish that I could keep him away from you. Because…I feel…that you deny that you have feelings for him." He looked downward, probably because I was staring at him in shock.

Archie said, "Hmmm." And nodded once like this declaration was an acceptable response. He looked at me.

I felt furious and defensive. "I do not feel that I deny that I have feelings for him because I do not," I said flatly.

Killian swung his gaze away and lifted both eyebrows as if contradicting what I said. He raised a brow and nodded once. "Right." I could sense his sarcasm.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I shot back as I glowered at him.

Archie fluttered his hands downward and said, "Now now, let us use warm tones and try not to fight. If you feel like fighting, express it." He lifted his palms. "How about we calm down and remember why we are here. To work this issue out."

I looked at my husband. "Killian, you don't believe me. Sorry, I feel like you don't. It's clear you are calling me a liar." I ignored Archie's waves of his hands moving downward as if trying to calm me down. I inched in my seat and faced my body towards Killian.

"Since when do I lie about my feelings to you?" I asked him.

Killian shot a quick withering glance my way and sucked on his lower lip before he said, "It isn't just about your feelings for Neal. Another thing that I feel bothers me is that you lied to where you were going this morning, Love. Youi said you went to your mother's but then she came over looking for you. That was a hard punch to take. Realizing I had been lied to."

"And I owned that," I said. I frowned at him. "I said I was sorry," I added with a softer voice.

He grimaced and shook his head. "I feel like you left out going to Neal's because you don't want to face me about it. You think that it will anger me but what peeves me is that you kept it to yourself."

I parted my lips, feeling like he was accusing me. "I explained this to you already. I only went over because of Henry."

Archie flourished his pencil in the air. "Back up, Emma. Can you please enlighten me on why you went to Neal's?" he asked cordially as if we were speaking of the weather.

I stopped gawking at Killian and looked at our therapist. "Henry needed to talk to Neal and I at once, both at the same time." I quickly filled Archie in. He nodded formally with an understanding gaze at me.

Killian lifted his finger and said to me, "I feel like you should have told me sooner. Why didn't you tell me until I asked when Neal called you about leaving your bloody coffee cup? That was how I found out."

I frowned at him and sighed. "I feel like you're never going to get over that I was with Neal nearly two decades ago and that only because he wants me, you automatically think I'd succumb to his advances."

"So he does hit on you," Killian said to me with a brow raised as he drew his head back to stare at me.

"Yes but I won't ever go for him. How many times do I have to say that?" I opened my palms at him, frustrated.

"Can we both just keep calm and not raise our voices?" Archie asked as if speaking to a child.

I furrowed my brow at Killian. "Killian. What does it matter if he wants me? You need to understand right now and this is the last time I will repeat myself, that I have no interest in Neal."

Killian exhaled but didn't say anything. He lifted both eyebrows in disbelief and looked at Archie.

Archie said brightly, "Killian how do you feel now about that?"

Killian said in dejected tone, "I feel like you aren't admitting that you have feelings for Neal. At least please admit it to me. I feel like you don't, because you are ashamed of them. But I will accept you even if you do. I just wish you wouldn't lie to me and hide things from me. Like today."

I felt my emotions boiling and sizzling. "I only had feelings for him before you and I got together, and when Neal and I had to do that spell. I don't anymore." I said through clenched teeth. I was losing my patience.

"I feel that that isn't entirely true." Killian faced me. I narrowed my eyes at me. "Please tell me. Do you have feelings for Neal still?" he whispered. As he waited for me to admit something that wasn't true, he added, "I won't judge you, Love."

"The reason that I didn't tell you anything today was because I was afraid you'd act like this." I opened my hand towards him. "You are obsessed with Neal. He likes me, so what?" I threw my hands in the air, "And no, I do not have feelings for him. Stop accusing me of it."

Killian and Archie sat, stunned. I sighed, realizing I had lost my temper. I ran my fingers over my hair and shook my head.

Killian was staring down at his good hand. I had hurt him, and I felt terrible about it.

Archie raised his brow at Killian as if to hear him speak.

Killian waited a few seconds and let out a long breath. "I'm afraid that is not how I heard it." He was speaking to Archie.

"What do you mean?" I asked apprehensively.

"Because you told me that you loved him that day you had to do that bloody spell to get us back. I actually wished we could get past that. That I could get past that, but I can't." He stared at the carpet sorrowfully.

I was flummoxed, but I didn't know what to say. How could I get through to him that those feelings no longer were inside? "I don't feel that way anymore," I said impatiently. I was worn from repeating this.

Killian said, "But I feel like you cannot admit it to me. If you did, we could get past this together, but you shut me out and you even turn from me last night when I tried to hold you in our bed."

Archie scratched behind his ear uncomfortably and pushed up his glasses.

Killian watched me as my face flushed. "I don't love him," I said slowly as I locked eyes with Killian.

Killian gazed back at me skeptically and said desperately, "I don't believe that." His expression was like he wanted to cry, but he stared at me expectantly. "I wish I could. But I saw your face while with him that moment. It was apparent that you care for him. Tell me, how can I believe you? I want to."

"I told you," I retorted. "What's going to convince you that I don't love him?" I snapped.

Archie lifted a finger and said to me, "Now Emma, how do you honestly feel about Neal? Can you tell us that? And then form here we can just work on trust and believing each other. Trusting each other is faith, and that is the way your marriage can make it."

"I already said how I felt. Is this your idea of therapy?" I faced Killian, "There is nothing else that I can say that will convince you, is there? What will it take?"

Killian's eyes were full of turmoil. He said morosely, "I thought that we had agreed long ago not to keep things from one another. But you have kept two things today. It concerns me." He paused and shook his head, "I feel like you cover things and it is why we are drifting apart. You are drifting from me." His last word cracked. His eyes had tears, but he looked downward and then back at me.

I gazed at my husband and said forlornly, "So if I stay away from Neal, you'll be happy?"

He stared at me as if considering this proposal and then looked forward. His gaze plummeted to his hand. "Aye. It would. But I won't make you do it unless you want to," he said grimly as if guilty for saying it.

"Fine," I said. "Done." I flipped my hand in the air. "So what else do I need to do to make you feel secure with me?"

Killian gave me a withering look as if I had yelled at him. He said, "I just want you to open up to me. And to tell me how you feel. And to not drift away from me."

I felt blame coming from him, even though he wasn't using a condemning tone.

"Alright. And I need you to trust me. And stop asking me if I have any residual feelings for Neal because I'm tired of taking about him. If you can't do that for me, then I don't think things will get better."

His face fell. He seemed like his hopes were deflated.

Archie stared at me in disbelief and frowned despondently at me. "Now Emma, do you honestly believe that?" he asked gently.

I sighed at Archie and faced Killian, "If I wanted to be with you anymore and wanted him, I would be. I feel like you don't trust me. Just because Neal reaches out to me for insignificant reasons, does not mean that I am keeping a secret relationship with him. But I feel like you make it to be that way."

He looked at Archie and then down at his hand. "I said I do trust you, Love." He attempted a smile, but it wilted and fell off his face as I stared at him in disbelief.

"No. You don't. If you did, then you wouldn't be trying to make me admit something that isn't true."

He looked at me woefully. His brow pinched, then looked away and pressed his lips together. He rubbed his face with his palm as if under stress and averted his gaze.

"You don't believe me, do you?" I asked, weathered by this long argument.

Archie watched us rather stressed himself. He adjusted his glasses and tried to smile and say something, but Killian beat him to it.

"I don't I'm afraid," Killian said reluctantly. "But I will try." He lifted his eyes to meet mine.

I got up, not sure why, but my mind was overwhelmed with frustration and a blend of emotions. "Alright. That's it. I think our hour is over." I grabbed my phone and keys from the coffee table before us and marched for the door.

"Emma, please," Killian jumped out of the sofa and chased after me as I opened the door to exit Archie's office.

Archie said behind me, "Emma, please wait, and let us talk this out, we still have twenty minutes left."

As I ignored our therapist and went outside of the office, Killian caught my arm with wild fright in his eyes. Before he did, I caught a glimpse of Grumpy sitting quietly, bored on a waiting bench near the wall of Archie's office. He watched us.

Killian turned his back to Grumpy and whispered, "Emma please. I'm sorry. I just want to work this out. Please don't leave," he whispered in a panic.

I looked him in the eyes. He was teary and his face saturated in fear and regret.

I shook my head sadly and said, "I'm sorry too."

"Emma…" His face blanched and his eyes went glossy. "No. Please don't leave me…"

I sniffled and turned away from him. I didn't want to appear that my eyes were probably red-rimmed. My eyes pricked with tears. I took a deep breath and willed myself to refrain from falling apart. I folded my arms and let out a short breath.

"What are you doing, Love?" Killian asked softly as he came right up behind me and took hold of my arm with his good hand.

I looked away from him but didn't move out of his hold. "There is nothing more that I can say," I said.

Killian was trying to catch my eyes. He murmured, "What do you mean?"

"All we do is argue anymore, Killian." I slowly shook my head. "I'm tried of it. How can we make this better if we're getting n where? Not even with therapy?" I shrugged.

"I don't know, Love," he said in surrender, his eyes still full of dread.

"Hey, uh, not to interrupt, but are you two finished with Archie?" Grumpy asked from his bench.

I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment before I slid Grumpy an irritated look. "Do you mind?" I said evenly to Grumpy, then I looked up at Killian.

"We can leave if you wish," Kilian said rationally.

"We're just not getting anywhere," I said quietly. "This just keeps getting worse. The more we talk about it, the more we hurt each other."

His eyebrows pinched together. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Emma."

I licked my lips and bowed my head. I nodded and lifted my head to look into his eyes. "I know. I didn't either. I love you, Killian. But I don't know what else to do. Maybe we should just take a bre—"

Killian's brows lifted and his eyes teared up just as I saw my parents running towards us. I could read the frantic fear in both of their eyes, judging by the terrified looks on their faces.

I was cut off, so instead of saying what I was going to, I said to my parents. "Oh no. What is it?" I asked, feeling my skin go cold.

Snow said in a hysterical tone, "Hope. Someone took her."

David reached his hand out to me and shook his hand as if to stop me from saying anything. My mouth dropped open. "We will find her," he said sternly with confidence.

"What?" hollered Killian. "What do you mean took her?!"

"No," I moaned. I gripped onto Killian's arm, because I was no longer stable from the terror I felt for my baby girl. I felt like I would faint. My world tilted and I couldn't breathe. It felt like my veins were filled with ice. The air expelled out of my lungs as my body started to shake in distress as I gawked at my parents. All I could think of was my poor baby daughter, with a stranger. Or someone who meant harm, especially to her.

Yes. We would find Hope. All of a sudden, our problems seemed so small compared to this fear that both paralyzed me and drove me to find our daughter.

Playlist –

Mad – Ne-Yo

Don't Leave Me – Pink

Sorry – Buckcherry

Stay – Safety Suit

It's Not Over – Daughtry

As You Are – Daughtry

So Cold – Breaking Benjamin

Blurry – Muddle of Mud