Thank you everyone for the comments from the last chapter. I know it was a rough chapter emotionally. And, well, fair warning: this chapter is going to be a bit of an angst fest. Poor Zuko's not in the best place right now. T.T

Quick note: this is the last chapter in book 2 of this fanfic, and before I start writing book 3 I'm going to need to take a few weeks to re-read the story and plot things out to make sure I tie up all the loose ends. Believe it or not, I've written this far with nothing more than a few bullet points for each book of the major plot points and a great beta reader. I'm not really a planner, but this is the first time I've written something this ambitious, and I'm not confident in my ability to bring this last book to a satisfying conclusion without a plan. So wish me luck, and hopefully it won't take me too long to do all that so I can get the next chapter out in a reasonable time. :-P

More Than Blood Can Stand

Chapter 27: Mai's Secret

They flew for a long time before landing, nominally because they wanted to be sure they outran the archers, but in reality because there was a finality to landing. While they were up in the air, they were in their own world, and none of them wanted to face reality yet. Setting up camp, fixing breakfast, making plans to rescue Aang and Sokka - these were tasks that now seemed impossible to face after what they had been through. And superseding all of those feelings was the grisly task awaiting them on the ground: burying Hinata.

But Appa couldn't fly forever.

"Zuko."

Those were the first words that had been spoken in what felt like hours. He lifted his head numbly to look at Mai. She was pointing to a clearing in the woods ahead.

"Should I tell Katara to land there?"

He nodded, still unable to speak.

Katara brought Appa down, and the four of them set up camp in silence.

Midway through setting up their tent, Zuko abandoned Mai and walked back towards Appa. Towards Hinata. They couldn't just leave him there.

He closed his eyes, set his jaw, and walked out of the clearing to collect wood.

Half an hour later, he was pulling Hinata's body onto a small but neat pile of firewood.

"What are you doing?" Katara asked, joining him.

"Making a funeral pyre."

She gasped. "You can't start a fire here tonight!"

"He needs a proper burial," was all he said. He lit the wood under Hinata's body, but before it could properly catch, a stream of water doused it.

He rounded on Katara. "What are you doing?"

Her eyes were soft and pleading. "If they're looking for us - and you know they are, Zuko - a fire this big would be a dead giveaway."

"He needs a proper burial," he repeated, knowing as he said it that she was right. A funeral pyre would be like a beacon leading Azula right to them. But that didn't matter right now. "I'm not going to let Hinata be buried in the ground like a barbarian."

"Excuse me?" Toph's voice could cut iron. "What's wrong with an earthen burial?" He opened his mouth to reply - probably to say something else harsh - when she waved him off. "Katara's right. If we set this on fire, we'll be on the run again right away. That is, if we're not all dead."

Zuko could feel heat rising in his chest. "Hinata," he ground out through gritted teeth, "needs a proper Fire Nation burial. I am going to give him one, and if the rest of you are too afraid of the Yuyan archers, or of Azula, then you can get on Appa right now and leave."

He turned back to Hinata's body, not wanting to look at the rest of them. Perhaps he had been too harsh. But anger was his shield, his last layer of protection against the pain swirling within him.

When none of them said anything, he raised his arm to again light the wood.

"Zuko, wait." Mai grabbed his arm. "You're right, Hinata needs a proper burial. But at least wait until morning."

He shrugged off her hand, but turned around. "What difference will that make? A fire will be just as visible in the morning."

"Yeah," Katara said. "I'm not seeing how waiting helps us any."

"Because we need sleep if we're going to fight again," Mai said.

Toph scoffed, but Zuko thought he heard a tremble to her voice. "Who's going to be fighting? If those archers come back, I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to be running away."

"Fine," Mai said evenly. "Then Appa needs sleep if we're going to escape again."

"Escape is going to be harder if we have a forest fire pointing them-"

"Stop it." Katara said quietly, chewing her lip and furrowing her brow. "This isn't getting us anywhere." She sighed and looked Zuko in the eyes. "I think you're right. We need to split up."

He blinked in surprise. He'd said that out of frustration, not because he thought it was actually a good plan.

"I understand why you feel the need to do this, Zuko," she said hurriedly, "but we need to think about rescuing Aang and Sokka. And the best chance we have of doing that is if some of us aren't here when you light that thing."

"I think you're right," Mai said.

She had a spark in her eyes, like the one she'd had at the Northern Air Temple right before she'd started speaking to the Mechanist, that said that she was in perfect control of the situation, and her lips were set with grim determination.

"I'll stay here with Zuko, and the two of you can go rescue Aang and Sokka. You can take Appa tomorrow morning. They'll expect us to escape on him, anyway, so if they get here and we're gone, they'll start looking in the skies and not on the ground. Maybe we'll be able to slip away unnoticed."

The girls continued making plans, but it all was a jumble to Zuko. His brain felt sluggish. It was as if he couldn't think any further than laying Hinata's body to rest. If he could get through that, maybe he could focus.

Or maybe he would fall apart.

He was already halfway there. As the anger ebbed away, now that there was no one to fight with, it was replaced by an aching, almost physical sense of loss. If Hinata had been here, he would have a plan that could get them all out of this.

What was he going to do without him? He barely bit back a sob. He couldn't lose it now, in the middle of battle planning. He was better than this.

But he didn't retain any more of the planning. It flitted past his brain without taking hold. He would have to count on Mai remembering it tomorrow. The pain was building now, wave upon wave, eating him up from inside. It was too much.

It was all he could do to walk back to their tent without losing control.

As soon as they were through the tent flaps, Zuko couldn't hold it in anymore. He sat down on his pallet, gasping back sobs as best he could, but failing. He didn't want to cry in front of Mai - and even more than that, he didn't want Katara and Toph to hear him - but it was too much to keep inside.

Mai stood just inside the doorway for a moment before kneeling beside him and pulling him into her arms, so that his cries were muffled by her chest. "Get it all out," she whispered harshly to the top of his head. "Tomorrow you can be strong again. Let it all out tonight."

He couldn't do that. There was too much pain to let out all at once. He was still processing the pain of betrayal from when his father burned him. The pain of Uncle's death was still so sharp that sometimes he could hardly breathe. Add the loss of Hinata to that, and it was more pain than a person could bear, no matter how strong they were.

But he could let some of it out. He could cry enough tonight so that tomorrow he could be in control of himself again. And he did.

He cried to the point of embarrassment, where he thought Mai could never look at him the same again, and then he cried more. He cried until his eyes burned from the tears. He cried until his head ached and the front of her dress was wet through.

When he pulled back, he couldn't meet her eyes. "I won't do that again," he said, trying to make his voice sound less shaky.

"Do it as often as you need to," she said, voice perfectly neutral and detached, as if his pain didn't matter to her.

But when he looked, he saw tear marks on her cheeks, too. A warm feeling rushed through him, a feeling so at odds with the pain and hurt that it felt almost a betrayal. And yet…

He reached a hand up to wipe the tears from her cheeks, letting his fingers linger. "I've lost everyone I love except for you."

She closed her eyes and took a shaky breath. It was the first time either of them had used the word love. Maybe he shouldn't have; it wasn't the right time for that. Or maybe it was the perfect time. What if he lost her, too? Better to have said it than to not be able to say it ever.

After another breath she put her hand over his and opened her eyes. "That's not true. I'm not the only one left who loves you. Zuko-"

But he didn't let her finish. He leaned in for a kiss, a searing kiss that would drown out all the pain. For a moment it seemed like she would try to pull away, to finish what she had been about to say. But then she leaned into him, and it was a long time before another coherent word was spoken.

The next morning the group ate their breakfast quietly, then packing up camp as quickly as they could. Mai and Zuko's tent and most of their supplies were loaded onto Appa - the hope was that they would not be separated for long - but they each had a traveling pack with supplies to get them through at least a week.

"We're all set," Katara said as she heaved the last bundle into the saddle. She turned to Mai and Zuko.

"Good luck," he said lamely. "We'll-"

But he was cut off as Katara threw herself into his arms, sobbing. "Be careful," she said. "Don't take any unnecessary risks."

He looked sideways at Mai while he awkwardly patted her on the back.

Mai smirked at him, then addressed Katara. "We'll be at the meetup point when it's time. Just make sure you're there."

Katara pulled away from Zuko and gave Mai what might have been an even more awkward hug.

"Oh, we'll be there, Mei Mei." Toph grinned, punching Mai in the side. "And probably a week before you, too."

Mai scowled, rubbing the sore spot, while Katara climbed onto Appa. Zuko began to boost Toph up as usual, but she backed away from him. Her grin faded.

"I told him I'd protect you," she said quietly, so only he could hear her, "but now I'm running away."

He closed his eyes briefly. "I think he wouldn't want you risking your life so I could bury him."

Now her voice turned accusatory. "You promised him you would die an old man, but now you're running into danger."

"I'm not going to die, Toph." He held out his hand and boosted her up onto Appa. "I promise."

After Appa had disappeared from sight, he took Mai's hand and led her over to Hinata. They stood silently, each lost in their thoughts, while Zuko lit the fire. As the wood began to catch, he clutched Mai's hand and said, "Hinata, son of General Saito, we return you to the Eternal Fire. Your duty is done."

They waited as long as they dared before slipping into the woods, careful not to leave a trail. Zuko turned back to get one last look, and froze. The Yuyan had found them.

How did they get here so fast? he wondered, pulling Mai down into a dense patch of bushes. They must have been nearly to the camp already.

"Looks like the camp's abandoned," one of them said. "They must have all been on the bison."

One of the other archers nudged the pyre with his foot, sending a log tumbling down amid a shower of sparks. "Seems like the fire is kind of low, considering how long it's been since we saw the bison take off. They must have lit it right before they left, or else it burned really slowly."

"I've heard that Prince Zuko was a late bender," the first one said, sneering. "Maybe he's all flair and no substance. Sparring matches only use half-strength fire, after all."

Zuko's face flushed, and if Mai hadn't put her hand on his arm to stop him, he would have rushed out of the bushes and shown the man exactly what his half-strength bending looked like.

"The bison went that way," the man said, pointing. "We'd better head in that direction. Bo," he said, indicating one of the others, "report to Princess Azula what we saw here. She will probably want to inspect the camp herself."

The hairs on Zuko's arm raised at the mention of his sister's name. Archers they had counted on; Azula was another matter. Was she really close enough to come inspect the camp? He didn't want to be anywhere near these woods by the time she got there. His instinct was to leave right then, but he knew it would be safest to wait until the Yuyan cleared out first.

It was maybe ten minutes before he felt it was safe to move. He and Mai crawled out of the bushes, and he started to pick his way north through the woods.

"Let's go the other way," Mai said, pulling on his hand.

He looked at her in confusion. "We're supposed to meet them up north. That was the plan."

She didn't speak at first. Her face was tight, and she looked… she almost looked afraid.

"I have to tell you something."

"Can it wait? We're kind of in a hurry."

She shook her head. "I have to tell you now, or-"

"Fine," he said, sighing. "But let's at least walk while we're talking."

They set off to the south, in the direction Mai had wanted to go, while he waited for her to explain to him why she was changing the plan. But she said nothing.

After several minutes had passed in silence, curiosity finally got the better of him. "Why are we going in the opposite direction of Katara and Toph?"

She sighed. "We need help. You know that as well as I do. Split up, and without Aang or Sokka or-" here her breath hitched just the slightest amount "-Hinata, we don't stand a chance. Especially not the two of us running away on foot."

"Sure, but who is there to help us? We're not close to any of our allies."

"I know someone who can help," she said quickly. "I know how to find him; he's not far from here. It's why I told Katara to make camp here."

"Okay…" He wondered why she hadn't mentioned this before, but then went back to his rather embarrassing loss of control last night. Maybe she had mentioned it after he stopped paying attention. "Who is it?"

She paused for a long moment, until he thought perhaps she wouldn't say any more, then squared her shoulders. "It's your uncle. It's the Fire Lord."

What? His mouth dropped open, and he shook his head slightly. "What did you say?"

"Fire Lord Iroh. He's alive, and I know where he is."

If it had been anyone other than Mai, he would have thought it was all a big joke.

"How…" His mind was going blank, and he was finding it difficult to think again. "How did you find out?"

She pursed her lips and placed a hand on his arm. "I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I had taken an oath, I wasn't allowed to say a word-"

An icy feeling began to grip his heart. "How long have you known?" he asked quietly.

"Since before we went to the North Pole."

Impossible. "That was a month before we got word he died!"

She nodded. "I know. The plans were made before we left Omashu, around the time that Ozai gave you the scar."

"Plans?"

"To fake the Fire Lord's death, so he could escape." By the look on her face, she was prepared for his reaction.

He jerked his arm out from under her hand and took a step back. "And you knew? The whole time?"

Again, she nodded.

He turned away from her, and when he spoke it was cold and detached. "You watched me mourn him for weeks, you watched me be crowned Fire Lord, you married me," his voice broke, "made me fall in love with you, all the time knowingly lying to me about something like this?"

"I had to take an oath, swearing not to tell anyone. I'm so sorry-"

"Obviously not sorry enough," he said through gritted teeth.

"Please, Zuko-"

He whirled around. "Don't call me that."

She looked as if he had physically struck her. He had a brief flash of guilt - he had never seen her this upset before, and obviously it took a lot of pain to make her lose control - but he quickly forced that feeling away. She deserved to feel guilty, not him. She had been lying to him about one of the most painful events of his life, lying for weeks.

"Who else knew about this?"

"All of the higher ranking members of the Order of the White Lotus," she whispered, "and a few lower ranking members, like me, who the higher-ups decided had a need to know."

"What is the Order of the White Lotus?" he asked, with more calmness than he felt.

"A secret society that transcends the four nations."

"And..?"

She shook her head, eyes closed. "Look, I can't-"

"You can't tell me?" He laughed bitterly. "I think it's a little too late for that."

"Zuko-"

"I told you to stop calling me that! Stop pretending you actually care about me," he snapped.

"But I do. I love you."

He thought he saw tears in her eyes. He didn't care. Hinata had sacrificed himself for a fraud.

"Did my uncle know I was being kept in the dark about this?"

"Probably. I was told the plan was his idea."

A burning, searing pain shot through him. How could Uncle have knowingly put him through this? The hurt, so quick on the heels of the knowledge of Mai's betrayal, was more than he could stand.

He walked over and picked up his traveling pack.

"I'm leaving," he said harshly. "You can go find my uncle, if that will make you feel better, but you will go alone."

She drew herself up, the familiar collected mask falling over her face. "I'm coming with you."

"You," he said, walking away from her, "are no longer welcome to travel with me."

"I have an obligation to protect you." She had grabbed her bag and was running to catch up with him.

He pulled out one of his broadswords and pointed it at her. "You will let me go alone, or I will tie you to that tree and see what Azula makes of you."

She stared at the sword for a moment, then looked him in the eye with a piercing stare that made his heart clench. He could see the emotions flitting past her face before her mask fell again: hurt, guilt, anger, determination. Maybe even a hint of fear. He half expected her to pull out her own weapons and try to pin him to a tree.

But after a minute she bowed, deeply, formally. "As you wish, my lord."

And then she turned and walked in the other direction.

He followed her with his eyes until she was out of sight.

Then he took his Blue Spirit mask out of his bag, put it on, and walked as quickly as he could, until night fell and he could walk no more.

End of book 2