Almost forgot to get this update out! I've returned to school and its been good so far, but it'll probably get real hectic real soon! Quick warning, this chapter contains of self harm and implied suicide attempt. It's not too graphic, but if this subject triggers you then I recommend skipping this part.
This is the story of how Max ended up at Campbell Hospital.
Max leaned back, wiping sweat off his brow. It was four in the afternoon and the sun was burning into him. He resisted the urge to sit down and rest where he was in his front yard. His body ached, but he knew his parents would be home any second and if they caught him resting... well.
He wished he could take off his hoodie and rake the leaves in his t-shirt, but there were plenty of people passing by and he couldn't let anybody see the bruises scattering his upper arms. Couldn't let them see that he was weak enough to just let it happen. Max clenched his fists, his brain hurt, his chest hurt, everything just fucking hurt. Every time he had to look at his stupid parent's faces, every time he had to do some stupid meaningless chore to 'earn his keep'. He was just so overwhelmingly done with it all. He just wanted to pain to stop.
To hell with it. Max shrugged off his hoodie and tossed it into a bush. The cold air stung his skinny arms which were coated in sweat. The yard was pretty much clear by now. He could afford to take a break.
Max collapsed onto the grass, gazing moodily up at the sky, as much as staring into the sun hurt his eyes. He was so tired. So tired of things hurting.
"Hey Maxwell!" Max flinched at the sound of his name and looked up. Standing on the other side of the low fence that encircled his family's yard was one of the idiots who attended his school. Brent, that was his name, or Brandon, something like that. Max groaned and flipped him off.
"I'm not in the mood jackass!" He snarled. Bradley or whatever his stupid name was, laughed.
"Clearly." He said, his tone mocking. Max then felt something hit his stomach. He sat up angrily and saw a baseball lying next to him.
"What they hell?!" He demanded. Bradley laughed again, and he was joined by a squadron of other kids from their school, who joined in the clearly very fulfilling task of making Max's life into a living nightmare.
"Nice one!" One boy laughed, slapping Bradley on the back. Max felt a surge of anger. Couldn't he get a break? It was clear that the universe hated him by now, but did things really have to go this far? First he slaved away all afternoon in the sun to get 'that stinking yard clear by the time me and your mother get back' only to be beaten up with baseballs just because he was lying in his own front yard?!
Max grabbed the ball and hurled it as strongly as he could, aiming right for Bradley's stupid, smirking face.
He missed, of course he missed, and the ball bounced harmlessly into the gutter. The group fell apart laughing. Max considered just walking away into the house, screw his parents, he wanted out, when a second baseball bounced off his forehead.
That did it. Max got furiously to his feet, grabbing the ball and throwing it. This time it met it's target, right in the face of the girl who had thrown it. The group instantly stopped laughing and their faces snapped from amused to deadly.
Within seconds, Max was being held by one of the taller kids, arms twisted cruelly behind his back while Bradley reared up and punched him solidly in the stomach. Max groaned and tried to stop the tears from stinging his eyes and failed. Yet another baseball struck the side of his head.
Bradley punched him again and Max felt his arms be released. He fell on all fours, coughing slightly.
"That'll teach you to mess with us!" Bradley declared, and spat onto the ground just in front of Max's face, like Max had gone after them first.
"What shall we do?" The girl who he had thrown the baseball asked, rubbing her face. Bradley cracked his knuckles.
"Leave him. We've gotta be home for dinner anyway." He said. Max sighed slightly in relief. At least it was over now.
Except it wasn't. Just when he had climbed back over the fence, Bradley paused and held up a third baseball.
"Hey Maxwell! Enjoy cleaning this up!" He yelled gleefully and hurled the ball...
Right into the window.
Max flinched as the window exploded and shards of glass went everywhere. All over the yard, all over his parent's brand new carpet that they'd had imported specially from India, all over Max.
The group laughed as they disbanded, running off to their own homes with their own parents who loved them for the monsters they were. Max didn't move. He clenched his fists, he tried to call out insults curse words after them, but all he could do was lie on the ground and sob.
Fucking why? What had he done to deserve this? Look at them funny? Let his precious brother die? Exist?! For years, all he had wanted was an answer, to know what he had done wrong, but it didn't matter. Everyone hated him, even his own mother and father didn't see him as anything other than an inconvenience, a disappointment, something to be bullied.
Fuck this. Fuck them all. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for his parents to get home so they could blame him for this as well as everything else. Max, shaking, got to his feet. He wasn't going to be around for it.
There were shards of glass all over the yard.
Slowly, hands trembling, Max reached out and picked one up, decently sized, sharp. His breathing had quickened, his entire body was shaking, but inside he felt... calm. At peace, in a sick sort of way. Comforted by the idea that it would all be going away soon.
He put the glass to his wrist and dragged it painfully through his skin.
It hurt of course, it was excruciating, and he felt nauseous at the sight of a small waterfall of blood tricking out of the hole in his skin. But it didn't hurt as much as life did, and this thought was enough to allow him to raise the glass again and deliver a second cut, this time on the opposing wrist. It wasn't as deep, but it was probably just as effective.
Within minutes, Max was on the verge of losing consciousness. He sobbed bitterly, for some reason, he didn't want to go. Well too bad. He just couldn't stand life with his parents anymore.
As he curled up and waited for the end to take him, he heard a muffled sound of sirens in the distance. Wait, they were coming closer. Ambulance sirens! Just like the ones that had come to take his brother away in the later stages of his illness.
Max cried more tears. Damn it, why couldn't he have taken this inside, somewhere where he wouldn't be disturbed! He heard the screeching of tires as the vehicle sped down the road towards him. Why couldn't they just let him do this?
Deep down, a voice inside of him answered: you don't deserve to die like this.
Max closed his eyes and let the darkness take him.
Anyone out there reading who is struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts, please don't do it. You deserve love, you deserve to live, you deserve better. There is always someone out there who loves you, someone who cares. Seek out help, the world can't afford to lose someone like you.
Don't lose hope :)