The knot's about to be tied. In the back garden, the house-elves set up the altar. They line up the many seats in ranks and files...with a big wide isle running down through the center of them all.

In an upstairs room, Justin and Hermione have tea. All around them, Selwyn cats bask on all the furniture. Every now and then, Justin caresses one. Just as often, Hermione kicks one away, with her bare leg.

"We're both Muggle-borns," he reminds her. He sips his tea. "We've known each other since Hogwarts. The Sorting Hat sorted us both on the same night."

She shrugs. "I don't remember you. But damn, if I didn't learn who you were when Lockhart and Snape tried to teach us that ridiculous Dueling Club."

He sets his tea down. "That reminds me; how are you and Millie getting on, these days? You birds ever cat-fight?"

She sits, like a statue, staring at him. This is her resting bitch face; he can tell...

"Never mind. Anyway, I'm at a crossroads in life. I'm attending a wedding, in a pureblood family's estate, where I'm about to watch Parvati Patil walk down the isle with a pureblood wizard...who makes SO much more money than me, and has so much more standing in wizardry than I, or any other Muggle-born, ever will."

"I wouldn't know about that." She sips her tea. "I'm a Muggle-born, and back in Britain, I've already been promoted into the higher ranks of the Department of Magical Creatures. People keep telling me I should run for Minister...but I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"Because you're a Muggle-born?"

"No, because I don't think I'm ready. I'm not afraid of purebloods. I just...don't think I'm seasoned enough to run for Minister. Besides, Shackelbolt's doing a fancy job, as it is."

"You might be right..."

"Listen, I'm a bridesmaid down there, and..."

"No, wait. I... I want to talk about you and Ron." He studies her. "You two are still married, aren't you?"

She sighs. "Yes...but we're barely hanging on. Or rather, I'M barely hanging on, and he's fine. I get mad at him a lot. I've some some horrible things to him, since tying the knot." She shakes her head. "I have NO idea how he stays married to me. But if it were me, I would've divorced myself a long time ago."

"I think I know how you feel... Anyway, Ron's a pureblood, and you're a Muggle-born. How did you ever get up the courage to marry him?"

"Well, first of all," she shows him the ring. "He proposed to me. For Muggle-born witches, I suppose, that's easier. Witches...never propose to wizards; not even in wizardry, I'm afraid."

He nods. "But you said yes. How much strength did that take...knowing you'd be putting a target on your back, and your husband in danger, and risking the wrath of every pureblood family in... Do you guys still live in Devon, or have you moved on from that?"

Hermione smiles, and puts her hand on Justin's leg. "I knew I loved him," she tells him. "At the time, that's all I cared about. I wasn't thinking about the Malfoys, or the Parkinsons, or the Greengrasses, or the Gaunts, or the LeStranges, or the Bulstrodes, or the Notts, or the Traverses... I was thinking about my Ronald. I loved him enough to die for him. I still do. And while I never really know that he would die for me, I just...live with faith that he would. That's all I can really do."

Justin's smiling, now. He likes what Hermione's saying...

"Plus, Ron's an auror. He kind of HAS to die for me, for a living."

"And all of British wizardry," Justin adds. "But yes; I see what you're saying. Anyway, thank you for talking to me."

Hermione smiles. "Anytime. You're an old friend...and not to mention a fellow Muggle-born...albeit a less ambitious one."

Justin shrugs. "It's not about where it's at; it's about where you have to be."

She gives him a strange look. "That...doesn't make much sense."

"I'm not shocked. It's a Hufflepuff proverb." He checks his watch. "Anyway, I gotta go. Thanks for the talk." He stands, and gathers a jar of Floo powder.

Hermione studies him. "You're not going to try to keep Parvati from getting married?!"

Justin shrugs. "If she truly loves me, she'll divorce him him for me." He throws the powder in the fire; it turns green. "Don't ask me how I know." With that, he marches right into the flames, and vanishes.

In his absence, Hermione scoffs. "Chivalry," she mutters. "Where is it, when the ladies need it?"

Outside and below, the guests take their seats, as the ushers show them to them. On the stage, the harpist plays an acoustic rendition of Christina Aguilera's "I Turn to You."

On the front row, Ms. Pryde seems to have problems sitting down. She's so excited, she keeps phasing right through the bottom of her chair, and falling down as if it weren't there. To cause less of a scene, she and her plus-one move down, closer to the back rows... The Selwyns try to correct the problem, and put a spell on her chair, to keep her from phasing through it impulsively.

Up front, Emma Frost turns to diamond. She wants to look her best, after all, for a wedding...

Atop stone pillars, both Lady Gorgon and Grey Gargoyle turn into stone, and pose as statues. They've both found that this makes it easier for them to concentrate.

Colossus destroys the chair, the first time he tries to sit...and causes a scene. He apologizes, and offers to pay for the chair. The Selwyns retaliate by putting a repair charm on the chair he broke, and replacing it by conjuring a stronger steel-made chair. Colossus sits in this. He smiles and settles, when the chair doesn't collapse under his steely weight.

Black Tom Cassidy's chair is made of wood. He causes a scene by using the chair to channel his sound-based mutant powers.

Alas, as much as Siryn and Banshee both take pride in their own respective sound-based mutant powers, they MUST get their fellow Cassidy kin to desist...which Tom does so, reluctantly. Even so, Siryn requests, from the Selwyn house-elves, a different chair made of another material besides wood.

Alisha Whitley duplicates herself, and tries to take up every seat at the wedding. Alas, the Selwyns confront her; she reluctantly reacts by merging herself, and settling for a sole seat for her...weaker Inhuman self.

The Ollivanders seem to admire the wood, in the chairs. Offside, they spend the day trying to make deals with the Selwyns, to buy the chairs from them... The Selwyns are only tempted to consider this because their many cats like to scratch anything wooden that they keep in their estate...or even ON their estate...

The giants and giantesses at this wedding require special accommodation, as far as seating goes. The house-elves happily arrange this, with some help from a pro-giants task force of wedding guests. Hermione would be on that task force...if she wasn't already a bridesmaid.

The Gaunts have been implored not to bring their snakes to the main event of the wedding...as much as this breaks their heart. They reluctantly make an exception for Marcus...because, and ONLY because, he's the groom.

Some of the Bulstrodes break chairs, as they sit down, too. House-elves arrive, repair the broken ones, and replace them with conjured-up substitutes...which mostly work. Thank Merlin, wizardry hasn't yet produced a Bulstrode that house-elf magic can't accommodate for...as far as chairs that don't break when they're sat in.

Behind the back row, Natasha, Helen, and Una seek out their seats, while blindfolded and shades-clad. Their "seeing-eye wolves" lead them to them.

Comfortably, they sit next to one another. Before them, their six seeing-eye wolves sit, too.

From afar, Hannah scoffs. "How are they going to watch the wedding," she mutters, "have their wolves describe it to them?"

Subtly, Una adjusts her sunglasses. "Hannah's making fun of us," she tips them off, having used her psionic powers to read Hannah's mind.

"Noted," Helen adds. "I heard her, too."

Moments pass. The guests are all just about seated...

The Avengers are interrupted, when Charlie Weasley pulls up a chair, and sits next to Natasha. "Hi, Ms. Schwarz," he says. "I hope you don't mind. I'm Charlie Weasley."

Natasha takes a long whiff of air. She seems irritated. "You smell like ashes. What do you do for work? Dragons?"

"Uh... Yes, actually. Anyhow, I've been talking around, and... Did you tell one of the doormen that a dragon's loose from the local dragon colony?"

At the end of the row, Helen subtly turns her head, skittishly. Great, she thinks, we've been caught...

Relax, Una tells her, telepathically. He's probably just a fanatic.

Uh...NO. Helen fixes her hair. He just SAID that he works there. Without luck, he knows we're lying!

Calm down, Una thinks. Let him elaborate.

"Yes," Natasha replies, verbally. "What's it to you?"

"Well, you see..." He looks around. "One of my bosses just sent me a patronus while I was in the loo, and... In case you don't know what a patronus is..."

"We're friends of Hannah Abbott," Natasha cuts him off. "Do you know her?"

Charlie nods. "I have a brother who knows her tolerably well. I also remember a few Abbotts, from my school years in Britain. There are also more than a few Abbotts who help wrangle dragons with me, actually. I'm a Weasley, and we and the Abbotts are both pureblood, so..."

"Look," Natasha interrupts again, "if you're worried about the escaped dragon, don't be. As good as your fellow dragon-wranglers are, I'm sure they've already recaptured it, by now."

"Well... You see, that's what I'm here to talk to you about. Earlier this morning, about the time I was getting ready to come out to this wedding, there was a..."

He's not here to throw us out, Una thinks, sharing her thoughts with Helen. I've read his mind. But right now, that's not the worst of our problems.

What, Helen thinks, could be worse?

Well, you see, Una shares her thoughts...which she's harvested from Charlie's mind, without his permission. A dragon HAS escaped, Una keeps thinking. And Charlie doesn't think that this dragon is entirely...

This telepathic interaction is shattered, by a trio of bagpipe players, who replace the harpist on the altar. Together, they blow a wedding march, of their own composition.

On either side of the altar, the crowd rises. Shakily, Charlie does, too...as do the six Avengers and three werewolf consultants, behind him...

At one end of the isle, there's an archway. Parvati appears in it...dressed like a bride. She's gorgeous. All around, cameras snap pictures.

Back at his shack, Justin beholds the bride, via a magic mirror. He sighs, and stares at her. She's never looked more beautiful...or less available.

In baby steps, she proceeds down the isle. Up ahead, Marcus stands, in groom's attire. On either side of the altar, the ushers and bridesmaids stand in separate ranks/files...depending on which way they're facing when.

Parvati sighs, and looks down...and screams. In front of her, the bagpipe music crashes and burns.

There's a ball python, right in front of her. It raises its head, and flicks its tongue. Parvati stares back at it, terrified. Her inflated boobs threaten to rip the bust of her bridal gown...

Princess Python subtly emerges from the seats, and recollects her prized possession. "Sorry," she whispers. "The Selwyns said I could bring her out here."

She returns to her seat...with the python. Once she's seated, the bagpipes resume their wedding march...right where Parvati's shrill scream had cut them off, moments before.

Parvati tries to keep her cool, and finishes the march. She ascends the altar, and faces the groom. She screams again, when she sees the snake/scarf sitting around her groom's neck.

It's an emerald tree boa. It faces her, and flicks its tongue.

Nearby, the bagpipe players sigh, shake their heads, descend from the altar, and teleport away. They seem a bit annoyed, that Parvati, and the public buzz that her reaction coaxed, ruined the final chord of their performance.

It's just as well... As for the Gaunts, they still can't quite get their mind around why in hell anyone would want to attend a wedding where an original wedding march was performed by a bagpipe trio...unless the couple was Celtic. The Gaunts are semi-Celtic, but... THIS is Romania.

Parvati struggles to stay calm, despite the big snake on her groom's shoulder. She overreacts, as Marcus moves her chin, to where she's looking into his eyes, rather than into the snake's.

At least she's not staring down her chest... But then, if only Parvati couldn't tell that he's staring down hers...

Back at Justin's shack, Justin keeps watching the wedding, as it's about to take place...tempted to shed a tear. The ophidiophobic love of his life is about to marry a parseltongue pureblood...and even with the great amount of Hufflepuff common sense he's got to offer in any affair...there's nothing he can do about it.

Near him, Alexandra, the veela, caresses Justin. Justin sighs, and embraces her revealed cleavage.

She takes the mirror from him, and sets it down on an end table. "Don't cry for her, Justin. She's just a fly-away joy." She puts her big lips to his ear. "You'll do MUCH better with a veela bride..."

Lying on a rug near the front door, the Badger Blackstone only sighs. If only this love story had a more chivalrous knight, to storm the wedding, and steal his bride away, moments before she could say "I do..." Alas, we're men. And we can't ALL be the white knight, right?