Their final dance lesson is short and uneventful.
Virya takes them through all the most popular waltzes and then three of the classics. When she and Ben demonstrate, Rey expects awkward tension. A tightness in expression. A fractional bit of space held between them. But there is nothing. They come together naturally as ever. And their dancing is just as beautiful. Rey wonders, not for the first time, how versed in the games of pretending the First Order made a person become.
They do one more dry run as a group and then it's over. The final preparations for the Frost Ball are done. Some of the Seamster's Helpers toddle in to shuttle Finn and Poe off for final wardrobe adjustments. The Seamstress himself comes for Rey. Her heart falls when the Helpers start setting up a corner of the room as a makeshift dressing area.
"But I thought I was done?" Rey asks, hating the idea of being nipped, prodded, and tugged for even a second more.
"Done!" The arachnid man chitters in what Rey thinks is his way of laughing. He loops her by a protracted arm and guides her to his equipment. "Perfection is a process. It is never 'done'."
He snaps eight pairs of fingers. The Helpers lift a beautiful, black cloud from their carrying case.
Rey has never been the kind of girl to 'get' dresses. She'd always disliked them from afar and absolutely detested them from up close. They weren't practical. They caught on things. And if you were pretending to be Virya Vorian, they often left huge swathes of skin unnecessarily exposed for the eyes of strangers to drink in.
Still, even Rey is rendered speechless by the Seamster's latest creation.
The gown is diaphanous black and encrusted with ebony gems. A spray of obsidian roses, black pearl dew drops, drifting petals fashioned from black star sapphires and black diamonds. The underlying fabric is a fine mesh, revealing the skin beneath and creating the illusion that the top of the gown vanishes into nothing.
"I… can't wear this," Rey says a little weakly. "This is too much."
"Too much what? Beauty and refinement for you to handle?" Rey turns to see Virya and Ben standing behind her, watching the production. Virya raises her perfect brows. "You can wear it and you will."
One of the Helpers is tugging on Rey's wrist, trying to free a loose end on her arm wrap. Rey doesn't even bother protesting. If there's one thing she's learned from her sessions with the Seamster, it's that he and his entourage don't even grasp the concept of "modesty".
"I have to work in it," Rey protests. "It'll get ruined. One of these flowers alone is worth more than anything than I've ever owned."
Virya rolls her eyes. "The paint on my fingernail is worth more than everything you've ever owned, so that's hardly saying much."
Rey shoots the other woman a sharp look and is halfway to making an equally cutting retort when she realizes how familiar it feels. Virya is doing it again, just like a dance. She's leading everyone to treat her the same as they always have, playing it off as if last night had never happened. And she's doing such a good job of it that, for a moment, even the memory of it doesn't seem real.
"The dress will be fine if the fitting is done correctly," the Seamster assures. "You should be able to dance in it, run in it, maim and kill in it too."
The Helper at Rey's wrist finds a free edge and begins rapidly unraveling the fabric from Rey's forearms.
"Once we're done, it will hold up as well as a suit of armor. But we must do a final fitting to be sure."
"Alright," Rey relents, not seeing that she has much choice. She throws a pointed look over her shoulder at Ben and Virya. "If you two don't mind?"
Ben turns, reddening a little. Virya doesn't budge except for a deepening smirk.
"What? We're both women here. Unless you feel self conscious about something? Do let me know if you've changed your mind about that breast enhancement. It really is such a simple procedure."
"Virya," Ben nods to the far corner of the room. "A word?"
Virya's demeanor changes at once from catty to docile. "Of course, Lord Ren. After you."
Rey watches them walk toward the other side of the room. Ben diligently keeps his back turned to give Rey some privacy, so she can't mouth a silent thank you to him.
A wiry hand grasps her chin and pulls it round to face forward.
"Straight ahead," the Seamster instructs. "Now let me see that proud, Vorian posture."
Rey sighs, then tunes her body into the appropriate shapes. An arch in the small of her spine, a broadening of the chest, shoulders rolling back and collarbone spreading wide, as if attached to the ceiling by a string.
"Yes," the Seamster says, taking a lunging step back to admire her. "You've gotten much better at that. Walk please? No, no, no. Stop, stop, stop."
Rey stops like a puppet yanked on by the strings.
"That draping. It's entirely wrong there. Can we fix? Now." He snaps a finger and three Helpers scamper forward to fuss with the skirt.
Rey takes the opportunity to steal a glance back at the real Virya, standing in the far corner with Ben. They are having some quiet conversation, probably about the notebook. And the truth is, even just standing there, Virya's unconscious posture is more elegant and refined than anything Rey could ever imitate. All that poise and grace, just as perfect as her cool apathy and snide venom. Virya didn't just posses those traits, Rey realizes, she wielded them. They were her armor, her saber, and her shield. And behind all of that was something else, someone else. Rey had glimpsed that last night, not long enough to understand it, just long enough to be aware of it. The knowledge of it unsettles her, like a hook in her chest that twists lazy revolutions. A discomfort she cannot quite name.
"Studying the real specimen, are you?"
The Seamster's murmur, lower and nearer than she'd expected, almost makes her jump. Rey looks down to see that he has brushed aside the Helpers, deciding to handle the finishing touches himself. His many hands swing like disconnected machines, arranging and pinning her diaphanous skirt. His two largest eyes are fixed on her, all inky black pupil.
"Just observing while I can," Rey says casually.
"That's all well and good." He straightens to his full height, pretending to adjust the fabric over her left shoulder. "But if I were in your place, I wouldn't let her catch me dead with that look in my eyes."
Rey frowns. "What look?"
"Pity."
"I wasn't-" But as soon as he's named it, Rey knows that he is right.
"Ah, that's good." The Seamster says, keeping his voice casual but quiet. "She'd take it as an insult, you know. And besides, that sort of sentiment would be wasted on her."
"How do you mean?" Rey asks.
"I've known Virya since she was a child. From a sweet little infant to a cunning heiress. If there's one thing that's never changed, it's this: Virya Vorian always gets what she wants."
His hands stop moving then. He holds Rey's gaze. It is the first time Rey has ever seen all eight of the Seamster's eyes focused on the same thing. His many fingers tighten on the fabric of her dress, reminding her of the deadly webs that real spiders spun in the wrecks of the Jakku desert.
And then, before she can process the arachnid's expression, it's gone.
"So," the Seamster says loudly, stepping back and clapping his primary hands. "The dress is done. We'll just get the wig and makeup on you and then-"
"Wait."
Rey and the Seamster both turn toward Ben. He's never interrupted a fitting, so Rey expects him to point out something wrong with the dress from the back or some seam that needs adjusting. But he doesn't say anything like that. He doesn't say anything at all. He's just looking at her.
His eyes makes her think of the ship, and how his hands had felt skimming her jaw. She's learned by now that when Ben smiles, it starts in his eyes and not from his mouth. And he is smiling at her now, although no one else might see it.
I want you to look like you.
Rey starts to smile too, knowing what he is thinking. Then she remembers Virya, standing right beside Ben, looking at him as he looks at Rey. Her pretty face is full of bitterness. Pain. Suddenly it is the Seamster's voice swimming in Rey's mind.
Virya Vorian always gets what she wants.
I can believe that, Rey thinks, looking at the hardness in Virya's eyes. I just wish I knew what that was.
#
Rey showers off in Ben's dorm, then leaves the water running for him as she sits cross legged on the bed, toweling her hair and going over Virya's notebook on last time.
By the desk, D-O rocks contentedly on his single wheel. Rey hadn't expected Ben to let the droid in with them. But he'd treated it as casually as an every day occurrence.
Now as Rey sits on the bed, she tries not to be distracted by the wounds of water slapping against tile in the next room over. Only it is distracting. Not just because Ben is showering in the next room over, but because it's the kind of thing Rey had always pretended to be hearing when there had been no one in her life. Like the quiet sounds of him dressing in the morning when he's trying not to wake her. Or the residual heat of his body in the sheets after he's left. Or the gentle turning of pages beside her as they read together in bed.
These, the quiet noises of a shared life, are still so strange and novel to her. She's embarrassed to admit how much she loves them. Embarrassed how truly, she wishes to never not be distracted by them.
When the water stops, she's almost sorry about it.
Then the bathroom door slides open and Ben is nearly filling the entire frame, a long sleeve thrown over his fatigues. The smell of soap floods the small room.
"I'm going to see if there's anything left in the mess hall," he says. "Get you something?"
Rey shakes her head. "Want me to come though?"
"You're already in your casuals," he nods to her sweatpants and tank top. "I can bring you something."
"I'm not that hungry. Maybe some hot tea if they have any?"
The corner of his mouth turns down.
"What?"
"You've been skipping too many meals lately. You should at least try to eat something." Then he adds a slightly awkward, "Please."
Rey sighs. "Alright. Bring back something light and I'll eat it. Since you asked nicely."
"Thank you."
And next thing she knows, Ben's crossed the room and is leaning over the bed, knuckles planted on the mattress to either side of her hips. He presses a quick, soft kiss to her mouth.
"I've been wanting to do that since I saw you in that dress."
Rey blinks, caught off guard.
"Back soon." He smiles and then he's gone.
Rey sits alone in her surprise. After a lost moment, she turns back to the notebook, telling herself it was just a quick kiss. A peck. Barely anything really, compared to others they'd already shared. Yet somehow she cannot stop herself grinning like a fool.
D-O notices, coming over to whir excitedly at the foot of the bed.
"Oh, shut up," Rey says. But she's still fighting to master the expression a few minutes later when she hears knock on the door.
Must have his hands full, she thinks, hopping up from bed and giving in to the fact that she's going to open the door to him with a huge grin on her face like an idiot.
"That was fast," she says as the door slides open.
And if all her attempts at self-respecting discipline had only half managed to conceal her giddiness, the sight of Finn on the other side of Ben's door certainly finishes the job.
"Finn," Rey blinks. "I didn't… What are…?" she lets the sentences die, knowing there's no way to salvage this. Because Finn isn't even reacting to the sight of her in Ben's door frame. He's just taking it in. Her casual sweatpants and tank top, her damp hair and the smell of soap.
"Ben isn't here," she says quietly.
She expects him to lose it but instead he just stares at her.
"Um. Finn?"
"I tried your door first," he says. "When you didn't answer, I started to leave. But then I thought what if…" He sighs, taking his turn to let a sentence die. "Can we talk?" he nods down the corridor.
Rey's stomach drops. "Yeah. Of course."
She grabs her jacket and asks D-O to tell Ben she'll be right back, feeling Finn's eyes in her back the entire time. Then she follows him down the hall.
#
They don't go far, just a five minute walk. They use their rank to open a small rec room that's meant to be closed off in the evenings. The far wall is a big glass window that normally offers a view of the depths of space. Now it only showcases the barren, moonlit tundra on the other side of the glass.
They stop in front of a vending machine and get steaming cups of watery coffee. Then Rey follows Finn over to the window and waits for him to speak.
Except he doesn't. And the silence stretches out until Rey can't stand it anymore.
Handle your Finn-thing. That's what Poe had told her. And she had countered, had hoped desperately more like, that there wasn't anything to handle. And now here they were. Finn being terrifyingly quiet, and Rey feeling like an awful friend.
"Look, Finn," Rey blurts, just wanting to get it out there. "I want to be straight with you. I didn't tell you because I knew you wouldn't understand. But I've kind of been involved with-"
"I know you're in love with him."
Rey nearly spills her coffee. "Um," she fumbles with the paper cup, the overflow scalding her fingertips. That's not what I was going to say, she starts to tell him. I mean, we haven't even talked about —
"You do?"
Finn's shoulders sag. "Yeah," he says, still staring out the window. "I think I've known for a long time."
"Oh."
"You know I'm only trying to protect you, right?" Finn says. "And yes, I know you're strong and you usually don't need protecting. Believe me, if it were anything else, any one else, I'd know you could handle it but… he's different. He could hurt you, you know. Break your heart, if you let him."
You don't know him, she wants to say. He's changed. But she knows that those defensive tactics are only that. A defense. The truth is much more frightening.
"I know," she says. "That's… kind of how it's supposed to be, though. Right? Otherwise what's the point?"
Finn's jaw flexes. He takes a deep breath. "We could all die at this Ball tomorrow. If you're the real target for the assassinations, we'll be fighting for our lives even if our cover isn't blown."
Rey nods. "If you're having second thoughts, no one's making you-"
"I'm going," Finn says firmly. "So don't even start with that. But before we dive into this thing, I want to tell you something."
Rey steels herself. As much as she wants to ask Finn not to go there, as much as she wants to find some reason to end this conversation and walk the other away, she knows she owes it to him to listen.
"Thank you."
Rey blinks. "Thank you? For what?"
"For helping me find my way to the Light again. I thought about what Ben said at the last meeting. I know the reason you're both training me is because I was straying down a dark path. The first time I realized it, I didn't even want to find my way back again. Didn't see anything wrong where I was going. But you two helped me change that. Both of you."
Rey stands speechless. This was the last thing she'd been expecting.
"I used to think the two of you together didn't make any sense," Finn admits. "But I was wrong. I mean, as your friend I'm still worried about you. And I'll always be watching your back. But as someone with a connection to the Force… I see now that there is something about the two of you together. Something that's stronger than either of you apart. Something I should have never tried to come between. It wasn't my place. I'm sorry. I'm not even saying I know it will turn out to be a good thing or a bad thing in the end but… well, it saved me anyhow. So, I'll stand by it. You and him. Together."
Rey swallows. There's a hot coal in her throat and wet heat in her eyes. "Thank you," she says softly. "That means a lot."
Finn smiles. The emotion doesn't fully reach his eyes. But he's trying.
"Yeah, well. It was kind of now or never." He tries to laugh and fails. He looks at her, as if to check whether she noticed. Very gently, he touches his fingertips to the back of her wrist. "You know I love you, right?"
Rey nods. "Yeah. I know."
And Finn's smile is a little more real. Then he heaves a big sigh, breaking the touch to cup his coffee in both his hands. "So what do you think?" he says with forced casualness. "Is Poe going to keep a low profile tomorrow or will he try to sweet talk every noblewoman he meets?"
Rey smiles thinly. "We both know the answer to that."
Finn laughs loudly, shaking his head. "Yeah," he says, sipping his coffee. "Good old Poe."
They exchange small jokes after that, trying to find their way back to normal. And it isn't. Not yet. But it's enough for Rey to believe that normal is something they can get back to eventually.
After a few more minutes of talking, Finn walks her back to Ben's room. Rey elbows him in the ribs as they come up to the door. "You know," she says. "if you really wanted to prove you meant it, you would tell him what you told me."
Finn gives her a look like she's crazy.
"Not the last part," Rey says quickly. "The other thing. I mean you said yourself he's half of the thing that helped you find yourself. I know he'd like to hear it from you too."
Finn runs a hand over his mouth and groans. "If we get through the Ball I'll think about it. Until then, baby steps."
Rey grins, halting as they reach Ben's door. D-O sits outside it, sleeping.
"I'll see you tomorrow," Finn says.
"Yeah. See you."
Finn nods, steps away from her, and walks on his own down the hall.
#
Ben looks up as she enters the room, his long legs crossed on the bed and the notebook open in his lap. On the nightstand is a cup of tea and a plate of crackers.
"Hi," Rey says, shrugging off her jacket and stepping out of her boots.
"Hi," Ben says, sitting up a little straighter. "They only had crackers. Sorry."
"Crackers are perfect," Rey sits on the edge of the bed and pops a slightly stale cracker in her mouth.
"And the tea's cold," he adds.
Rey reaches across and makes a point of taking a big gulp. "I love a cold tea."
Ben smirks and goes back to the book. They fall into a comfortable silence.
Rey eats her crackers and watches him read. And It feels normal. It feels right.
It seems impossible that the Frost Ball is tomorrow. And Rey realizes for the first time how badly she wants to survive it. Not because the fate of the universe depended on it, but because she wants to get to the other side and have more moments like this. Not epic power struggles, not desperate life-or-death fights. Just quiet, precious moments with Ben.
"Aren't you going to ask me where I've been?" she says, swallowing the last of her meal.
"Do you need to tell me?" Ben asks, turning a page.
"No, I don't need to," Rey says, after a moment's consideration. "I just thought you'd want to know. Given you've clearly been waiting for me."
She means it as a good natured tease but when Ben looks up from the notebook there is complete seriousness in his eyes. "Rey," he pushes the book from his lap and draws her into it instead. "Since the moment I met you, that's all I've ever done."