Scarlet hadn't been expecting much from the school musical.
After their first practice, she was sure that it was going to be an absolute disaster.
That morning, Scarlet and her friends had been discussing the prospect of play practice, and none of them had seemed very excited. Cinder was her normal grumpy morning mood, although that was probably as much about Peony as having to get out of bed at seven o'clock. Cress, after her big blowup with her crush - she hadn't told them about it, but Scarlet could tell - had withdrawn into her shell even more. Cress hadn't told them exactly what had happened, but Scarlet found she didn't really want to know what an arrogant popular boy could have done to make a perfectly sensible girl turn into this silent shadow. Winter, too, was unusually quiet and stayed inexplicably close to Jacin. This left Scarlet to awkwardly mediate the conversation, gently nudging her friends into talking. What she gathered from the array of long pauses and muttered, one-word responses was this: none of them were the slightest bit excited either.
"Come on! You get to practice with Kai! He's your friend, Cinder!" Scarlet half-yelled, trying to get Cinder to express her opinion on the play. The noise attracted a bit of curious staring from nearby kids. All Cinder did, however, was shrug and mumble something along the lines of, "He doesn't even like me anymore and I'm not a good actress."
They could do with some more backbone, Scarlet thought exasperatedly as she made her way to her first-period class. Scarlet wasn't looking forward to making a fool of herself in the play, but her confidence and don't-care-what-they-say attitude bolstered her. If they didn't care so much about what their crushes thought about them, they would be fine! Well, Cinder probably wouldn't, because of Peony, but she's still just so insecure!
Her friends might not realize, but Scarlet noticed everything about them. Nothing passed under her sharp eyes. She saw the way Cinder tugged her gloves higher to hide her prosthetic hand when Kai was around. She saw the way Cress tried to straighten her constantly tangled hair and wore thick-soled boots to look taller when she was giving a presentation in class. Winter was the only one who had some sense of self-pride, but that was probably because she was so unaware of her surroundings that she wouldn't even notice if people were staring at her. (And anyway, Winter had about as perfect of a face and body as you could get). They're never going to make it in this judgemental society if they stay like that, she thought grimly.
But when it was time to enter the auditorium, Scarlet became as pale and nervous as her friends. Because she had just remembered who she would be working with, upon seeing his hulking figure silhouetted in the spotlight on the stage.
Wolf.
"Er...try it again," Ms. Hope's voice boomed out again from the megaphone she used to direct everyone from where she was sitting in the audience.
Scarlet cleared her throat. Biting her lip and trying not to look at Wolf standing next to her, who looked half-amused, half-sympathetic, she croaked out "Goodbye, Mother! I am off to see Grandmother!"
Dead silence followed her line, punctuated only by some quickly stifled giggles from the corner where Levana and her friends were standing. Scarlet was sure her face was as red as her hair. This was how the whole rehearsal had gone so far. All the other kids would say their lines and sing their solos to general approval by the rest of the cast watching and the director. Then Scarlet would say something, and...well, you could probably guess.
The most infuriating part of it was Wolf. Ms. Hope had already exclaimed several times about his amazing natural talent, deep baritone voice, and who knew what else. Scarlet had to admit, he was a natural on stage. It was like he became a whole different person out there in the spotlight, not the boy who beat kids up in alleys, nor the boy who used to laugh and whisper with her in class. But neither of them had forgotten about Scarlet's outburst a week prior, and their many interactions were stiff and awkward. The lack of relationship didn't help Scarlet's already-terrible acting ability, and she seemed to get even worse every time she had to address Wolf.
At least you have a part, she reminded herself ruefully. She glanced into the wings to see Cinder, Palace Servant #5, sitting on a crate looking immensely bored and idly twirling a wrench over her fingers. Although Cinder's really not missing much.
Scarlet snapped back to attention at Ms. Hope's voice. "Try to make it sound more natural. You're too stiff, just relax." The director was trying to be nice, but there was an undertone of impatience in her voice. Wolf gave her what he probably thought was a you-can-do-this smile, but it looked more like a smirk.
She sighed and did the take again.
And again.
And again.
By the end of rehearsal, Scarlet hadn't improved one bit and the only thing they had managed to do was get her annoyed at Wolf for being Ms. Hope's new favorite. And at Cress for being so perfect and amazing and happy. And at Cinder for being so moody when Scarlet would've given anything to switch spots. And at Winter for not making an attempt to comfort her or help her, which she knew was unfair but couldn't help feeling.
Her brain led her in circles, around and around and finally back to Wolf, who had gotten her into this mess in the first place.
The rehearsal was over and Cinder hadn't moved for the whole hour.
What a waste of time, she thought in annoyance. I could've been working on fixing Peony's phone or Adri's broken car or any of the other million things I have to do. Is this lady trying to make me hate her?
She turned back to the lighting box, which controlled the lights on the stage, which she had been tweaking in her boredom. She barely had to think about it, her hands just moved naturally and quickly. Rifling through the tools she had in her pants pocket, she selected a pair of pliers and used them to coerce some of the wires from one place to another.
"Hey."
The voice made her jump and Cinder dropped her tools. Cursing, she threw herself to the ground among all the crates and felt around in the dark for her tools, which she prized nearly more than anything. Swinging back up, she spun to glare into the innocent, slightly amused face of Kai.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped.
He shrugged. "Is it a crime to say hi? We'll be working together, anyway, since you're Levana's understudy." He brushed his hair out of his eyes and rolled his shoulders, habits that Cinder realized felt as familiar to her as Cress fidgeting with her hair or Scarlet touching her hidden shotgun. Against her will, she always noticed him.
"You haven't talked to me in weeks, and now you suddenly do?" her voice came out surprisingly bitter. "You won't talk to me when my sister gets sick, but you will when I get a part in the school musical? And here I am thinking you would have perfect social etiquette, as the principal's son and a megastar or whatever."
He stared at her. Giving a weak laugh, Kai told her, "Just because I seem perfect doesn't mean I am." His eyes burned into hers with that adorable sincere honesty. "And I really am sorry about not talking to you. I just - I thought you needed some space."
Cinder wanted to stay mad, but she didn't have it in her. "Forget about it."
Kai beamed at her. "What are you doing here?"
Cinder started. She had forgotten all about the lighting box. "Oh, just playing around, you know," she said, somewhat embarrassedly at revealing what she did when she was bored. "I can do a lot more with my full toolbox, but I right now don't have any wire cutters."
Laughing, Kai plucked the wrench out of her open palm. "Can you show me how to do the thing where you twirl it over your fingers?" he asked, clumsily brandishing the tool in a way that showed he had never touched one in his life and nearly dropping it.
Cinder took it back and demonstrated, the wrench slipping through her fingers with ease. "I've always wondered how you do that," Kai said with a smile. She reached out to hand it to him, but their fingers had just brushed when a voice called, "Kai!"
"Oops - got to go," he muttered, leaping up from where he had been sitting on the crate. Cinder looked resolutely away as he scooted back over to his friends. She gathered up the last of her tools and left the crate. No regrets, no impossible wishes, no looking back. That was her new motto.
Peony was in the hospital and here she was flirting with her sister's favorite celebrity. It was time to reexamine what was important in life. There was - no, there used to be something in Kai's golden brown eyes that made her heart flutter, but that was just a phase.
She was the old Cinder again. Practical, sensible, independent. She was the girl who wasn't going to hurt her sister by carrying on with this. She was the girl who didn't care about boys.
Wasn't she?
The school counselor was incredibly proud of Wolf. Apparently, Ms. Hope had told her what a natural performer her was and how well he was doing with the play. He appreciated the director's praise, but the I-told-you-so gleam in the counselor's eye infuriated him.
He left her office as fast as he could, hurrying to grab his backpack and leave the school. It was the day after the first rehearsal and the memories of Scarlet avoiding his eyes and talking to him as if they had never met before were still fresh in his mind. He was left to ponder them as he set off down the sidewalk to walk home, smiling slightly as a familiar red motorcycle zoomed down the street and leaving him in the dust.
The practice, surprisingly, had been quite fun. Wolf enjoyed putting on a new character and just being in that new life. He wished he could start a new life for himself as easily as he had slipped into being the Big Bad Wolf. But it wasn't the same without Scarlet laughing with him when they flubbed up lines or joking about Ms. Hope's ridiculous feathered hairpiece.
He was still slightly confused about why she had blown up at him so suddenly that day with Levana. Did she not want to associate with him or something? Wolf knew that he wasn't the definition of a model student, but he was changing, wasn't he? He was a better person than he had been a few months before. He was better than the person who had beat up Scarlet's best friend.
Because of Scarlet. It's because of Scarlet that I changed.
But now the only person he thought worth talking to - the only person who might see something worthwhile in him - was ignoring him.
Wolf sighed and ran his huge hands through his matted, scraggly hair. Why did he always have to mess everything up so badly?
Speedier than most people as a result of his long, muscular legs, Wolf reached downtown in no time. This was the Wolf Pack's favorite area - lots of victims to torture and shops to steal from and nooks and crannies to hide in. But today, something felt different about it. Wolf didn't automatically scout the street for possible places to wreak chaos in or people who might be worth beating up. Instead, his eyes flitted to the groups of kids hanging out in various shops along the main boulevard. Kids laughing and joking with one another. Kids shopping and buying drinks and lending money to one another when someone didn't have enough. Kids helping each other with homework.
Was it too much to hope that someday Wolf might be one of those kids?
He pictured the social hierarchy of Commonwealth High like a pyramid. At the top, where everyone wanted to be, were the popular kids. They seemed to have everything. Money, clothes, cool friends and boyfriends and girlfriends. Then in the middle were the kids like Scarlet and her friends - not popular, not remotely "cool," but still happy. They had friends, and that was all they needed. The bottom row housed the kids like him. Crazy kids. Disabled kids. And like him - the "bad" kids.
Wolf and his brother Ran had arrived in Commonwealth excited at the prospect of going to a new school. Coach Jael had handpicked them from the pool of kids he had examined hoping to find some new talent for the football team, and Principal Rikan had personally financed their housing and living expenses. Wolf had strolled in on his first day hoping to make some friends and impress people with his superhuman strength and speed.
But none of that had happened.
Somehow, they had ended up with the drug dealers and street fighters when no one else seemed to like them. Ran had joined their ranks immediately, proud to become this kind of person. Proud to be defying their mother's wishes for them to have a better life away from poverty.
Wolf had taken some persuading, but he gave in. And everyone loved them. After seeing Wolf fight, they had pushed him into a lead role. They called themselves the "Wolf Pack" after his nickname, Wolf. And soon he stopped caring. He found himself enjoying the screams of people the beat up. He relished the excitement and energy of stepping into the street fighting ring at night.
In other words, he became a monster.
And now he wanted out.
He thought he understood why Scarlet was avoiding him now. Will I ever be the person she wants me to be? Am I capable of changing?
Wolf wanted to believe in himself. He wanted to have faith in the childish dream that if you put your mind to something it will come true. But if he had learned anything over the course of three rough years with the Pack, it was that some things you can never let go.
Even if I left, they would never leave me. They will always come back to hunt me.
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