CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
[broken things]
"we're all a little broken, or else we wouldn't kill people"
"All I'm saying is what is done to you determines who you'll be," Marcus said, deep in a 'nature vs. nurture' debate with Chico.
"I'm who I chose to be," Chico stated back.
Jaden walked up joining in the conversation as Andi sat back and listened. "So, shitty parenting made Ted Bundy start shish-kebabing co-eds?" the stoner questioned.
"Bundy's dad—also his grandfather, what could go wrong?" Marcus answered.
Andi sighed, "It's not that simple. Nature and nurture both come into play. Bundy is a psychopath, his brain is hardwired differently than other people's. He has no capacity for remorse or guilt or real emotion in general. Any emotion he expressed was him mimicking what he knew was the norm and then manipulating those around him. Granted, there are other psychopaths that go their whole lives without ever killing anyone, so what made Bundy different? It's not a flip of the switch... it's gradual."
"Shit, nobody stuck a finger up my ass. I'm as deadly as they come," Chico defended himself.
The blonde teen rolled her eyes. "Nobody had too. You're not a psychopath, Chico." The taller boy narrowed his eyes at her, confused at her words. "No, you're a sociopath." There it was. He knew that she was going somewhere with this. "You have emotion, although no real guilt, and you're prone to violent tendencies with little to no impulse control."
Chico scoffed, bumping into Jaden as he walked away. Andi smirked when he did not attempt to argue with her remarks. That's because I'm right, she thought, and he knows it.
"Well, by Chico's logic, I made Viktor three fingers more deadly," Petra chimed in while searching through the card catalog.
Viktor immediately perked up. "She is lying. My 'shoofla' is exit only." Andi did not hold back a laugh that time.
"Never took you for a kinky kind of guy, Vik," the blonde teased and the Russian teen glared at her.
Chico spoke up again; directing his question at Andi, "Well, then if I'm a sociopath, then what does that make you?"
"If I had to label myself, I'd say... possible borderline personality disorder with a shot of trust issues and a sprinkling of narcissism. A killer cocktail if I do say so," she answered jokingly, albeit being serious the entire time.
Before anyone had a chance to comment, and Andi could tell Marcus really wanted to after her self-diagnosis, Saya finally pulled herself out of her own thoughts to give her two cents. "Whatever broken shit is inside us is there the day we're born. People are what they are."
Andi sighed. "Well, I guess we'll just agree to disagree. Although, I will agree to one thing... all of us in this room, we're all a little broken, or else we wouldn't kill people."
The air in the room grew tense as the conversation had grown increasingly somber. After a few seconds of silence, Jaden, who was usually slow to comprehend, turned to Viktor, "Wait, what's a 'shoofla'?" Everyone rolled their eyes and separated to find something else to occupy their time, ignoring the stoner's question.
A few more hours had passed and the room had begun to look even more disastrous. Empty chip bags and crumbs scattered the desktops, while a variety of stamps, random library books, and other miscellaneous items that they had found were strewn across the rest of the room.
The group had gone through another long bout of silence before boredom struck Marcus again. "I propose we conduct an experiment—evolve past the chimpanzee stage, and open ourselves up to free love, crunchy grooves, and drinking the soul's sweet, sweet stardust," the Arguello boy drawled out, sounding like a Grateful Dead fan. "Let's at least pretend to like each other."
"Torture Town, USA," Petra muttered.
Andi furrowed her eyebrows and gave him an incredulous look. It was the first time she had brought herself to make direct eye contact with him since this detention started. "Easy for you to say, Marcus. You've been at this school for like a week. The rest of us have had to deal with each other a lot longer than that. There's history."
At her words, looks were exchanged around the group. Glares from Andi and Saya toward Chico, which he returned, followed by an understanding glance from Petra toward the blonde, and lastly an uncomfortable exchange between the Broughton legacy and Vik and Jaden.
Everything Andi had said was true. Some members of their group had more recent issues, most of which resulted in them being stuck in the library in the first place. However, other issues were deeply rooted among the students at King's Dominion. Saya and Andi had major beef with Chico over Maria, an issue that had been going on since the three girls became close over a year ago. Vik had hooked up with Andi and Petra both on very separate occasions. Jaden had tried to make moves on the blonde in the past too. Soto Vatos and the Jocks, led by Viktor, had a shaky past, the truce among their members as well as the partial cease-fire with Dixie Mob being relatively new. And Petra was a Rat—an outcast. No one, not even Saya and Andi, had much interaction with the Rats before Marcus started at King's. The only thing that the two girls could attest to is that they did not harass the Rats like everyone else did.
Life at King's was rough. Marcus was just lucky enough to come to King's during one of their more peaceful times, even if it did not seem like that to him.
Jaden, who seemed to be losing it a little since they ran out of food, spoke up, "Two bags of chips for two days. That's torture."
"There's enough monosodium glutamate in there to kill a rhino," Petra said.
"Mm, MSG," Saya added.
Marcus looked between his friends, "The monks are gonna bring more food, right?" Andi chuckled to herself.
"Think again," she said. "One box per detention." Sighs echoed through the room.
"Lucky one of my superpowers is starving."
Viktor laughed, "What is other? Sitting on man's 'horkum'?" Marcus shot him a nasty look.
Suddenly, Petra perked up, speaking to the room. "You know, if it's junk food you desire, we could break into the vaults of Valhalla."
Andi agreed right away, "Oh, I'm so in. Let's do it. I'm actually upset I didn't think of it sooner." She was the only one in the room that even remotely knew what Petra was talking about. Everyone else was utterly confused.
Petra stood from her chair and started to pace the room. "There's a chest... this big...," she starts, holding her arms out just past shoulder width. "Full of diabetes-inducing treats, among other glorious contraband."
"This is your brain on drugs," Jaden said, finally understanding. "The confiscation room is impenetrable, man."
Chico laughed, "Like Saya's panties." The Kuroki girl raised her middle finger at him.
"Maybe for you," Andi teased Jaden.
"It's been done, once," Petra insisted. "Lin's cornucopia was pried open by a group of industrious detention attendees. The robbers inscribed their deeds on the rooftop. The golden door on the secret floor."
Saya slammed her hand down on her desk. "I bet that's where my sword is," she stated, joining in on the crusade.
Immediately, the Kuroki girl stood up, charging over to the door and kicking at it aggressively. Andi walked toward her friend and sat on the table behind her, watching the short-haired girl waste all her energy hopelessly attacking the heavy, wooden door. Marcus trailed behind her, letting out a chuckle as the blonde crossed her arms and let out a huff.
"Whenever you get tired or pull a muscle, let me know so we can come up with a real plan to get out of here, okay Saya?" Saya paused to glare at her blonde friend. In the time that Saya paused, Marcus took his chance, kneeling down in front of the door and pulling out his tools to pick the lock. The Kuroki girl huffed and walked away, leaving Andi and Marcus alone, the tense atmosphere between them returning.
"Should've known you'd try to play hero, Marcus. I'm beginning to think you have a complex," the blonde said, poking fun at the boy in front of her.
"God, it's so obvious," he said, glancing up at her briefly before turning his attention back to the lock.
"What?" Andi asked.
He shook his head with a light laugh, "You want to get married and have babies and hump on the washing machine all day and—."
"Well, I mean, humping on the washing machine is only a natural progression from making out on someone's bathroom sink and hooking up in their guest room," she cut him off, extremely nonchalant about their night together. Marcus was confused by her tone. She sounded as if she was joking, as if she had not shut him down the previous night and been pretty much ignoring him since detention started. If Andi was anything, she was an enigma. For a moment, it made him believe that everything was all right between them. Until she spoke again. "Too bad that will never happen again."
Her expression was solemn, all signs of joking gone. All the hope that had been welling in the Arguello boy's chest had disappeared suddenly as he just looked up at her, dismayed by her words.
"What happened, Andi? Did I say something wrong? Do something wrong? Everything was going well and then you just... left." He was lost, not understanding how everything went south so quickly between them, and rightfully so. Andi had left him hanging with no explanation; she did not deny that. However, to Andi, Marcus had enough issues of his own to work through. He did not need her baggage on top of that, especially with Abaddon rearing his ugly head again.
"No, no...," she started quietly, but Marcus continued.
"I need you to know that I meant all of it. I don't regret anything that I said. I'm sorry if it upset you, or something, but I'm not sorry I said it."
The silence returned. Andi just did not know how to express what she was feeling toward him. She wanted to accept what he was saying and let herself be happy for once, but there was a constant dark cloud over her head, reminding her of what happens when she gets close to people. Hell, her closest confidante growing up was murdered by someone she thought was her friend, her mother was on the run, and now, Maria, Simon, and Saya were in possible danger from that same traitorous 'friend' that has seen to making her life a living hell. If she really cared about Marcus, would she allow him to care about her? Pushing him away was her only way to keep him safe. Pushing him away was the only way Andi could minimize the pain.
She needed to steel herself, cut off all attachment and emotion. If her mother saw her now, she would be disappointed. Andi had grown soft. It was too late in some aspects, but in others, she could nip those feelings in the bud before they grew out of her control. The blonde needed to be in control of herself.
The doorknob clicked as it unlocked. The others heard it and approached the door, Marcus giving them a cocky smile the entire time they filed past him and through the doorway. Just as Andi went to exit, she caught Marcus' attention with a whisper, "I know you meant it. That's the problem."
This chapter is a little shorter, but I felt like it was a good place to end it.
Also, sorry for any confusion with Andi's emotional roller coaster. She's a confusing character to write and I mean for her to be a little wishy-washy with her feelings. I think of her as being kind of emotionally stunted and lonely in her childhood and her friendship with Abaddon/Erik was very freeing to her even though he was manipulating her and targeting her vulnerabilities. The night he betrayed her, he kind of ripped away everything that was good in her life (AKA her friendship with him and her positive role-model relationship with Delphine). Then she was taken to King's (which will be covered in more flashbacks), where she slowly came to realize she truly couldn't survive without allies (AKA Simon, Maria, and Saya). Her feelings in regards to her friends crept up on her to the point where she only recently acknowledged them as friends. So, the fact that her relationship with Marcus burned bright and fast for the beginning of this book was purposely very out of character for her and frightened her. Therefore, it made her almost boomerang back to being emotionally stunted as a coping mechanism. Her little self-diagnosis was a fun quip to make, but she does exhibit symptoms of everything she stated. So, unfortunately, her relationship with Marcus may be taking a few steps back before it moves forward again. Sorry to disappoint, but stick with me because we are in this for the long run friends.
Sorry for my rant, I just want to make sure everyone kind of gets where I'm coming from. Let me know what you think and follow, favorite, and review!