34
Three days later.
"What about this one?" Jack turned and pointed as Ianto screwed his face up, not the least bit interested in the vehicles they were perusing in the car yard. Why Jack waned a new car was beyond him, the SUV and the sleek Austin Martin they shared were more than enough but Jack wanted a new car. Something about the SUV being too recognisable. Ianto didn't have the heart to point out the driver ws still going to be the most handsome Captain in the universe.
"Red" Jack pointed again "Look Tiger… red?"
Ianto heard, trying not to roll his eyes as the shiny car looked like all the others. It took a lot to entice a Kat, these shiny things OK but….oooooooo…. Ianto saw the cherry red convertible sitting in the corner and was moving towards it as Jack peered into the driver's window of another large black thing. Jack turned to talk to Ianto and find empty space.
"Tiger?"
A noise had him turning and he stood with his mouth falling open as he saw a man flying across the lot to land through the windscreen of a vehicle, the noise like a gunshot galvanising Jack into action and he ran towards the fight as Ianto yowled. The idiot who had tried to taser him had mere moments to realize that was a bad idea before the Kat swung, transforming as he did so into a huge white tiger, the paw that swiped at his head the size of a bowling ball. He dropped like a stone.
"Ianto!" Jack called out sliding on the gravel to slam into a vehicle as Ianto twisted, his four feet diving into the ground as he roared, this time launching himself at a terrified man that was trying to retreat. Jack unholstered his Webley and pointed at the one crawling by his feet "I don't think so."
Ianto finally stopped rampaging and looked around with horror at what he had done. Three vehicles damaged, five dead or dying and the only one with a chance of survival had Jack to thank for it as he lay still playing possum.
Ianto panted heavily as he advanced and Jack cleared his throat "Now, now Tiger. Calm down .. we need one to talk to. Right? Can't kill all of them. Naughty Kitty."
The man rolled to his back, his hands up in surrender as the creature blocked the sin, looming over him like death itself.
"I suggests you stay right there" Jack said conversationally "Ianto might bit your head off if you move a muscle."
Ianto rumbled a deep growl.
"See?"
The place erupted with soldiers, weapons and Torchwood… Owen bringing his girls to the yard as he brought the SUV to a halt with a spray of gravel "FUCK OFF!"
It would have looked better if he had exited the vehicle and strode towards them while shouting obscenities like he thought in his mind. Trying to do so while still belted into his seatbelt that resulted in him sort of hanging out of the vehicle twitching like some weird Gimp was not the right look but the words were none less heart felt.
Toshiko reached over to unclip him and he fell to the dirt, leaping up to yank at his clothing. Gwen simply slid from the back seat with Bertha already in her arms, striding forward "The first one to touch our men gets it!"
"Too late" Jack chortled at her "Ianto went total Kat on their arses."
"Wow" Owen saw now, walking around looking at the carcasses and taking time to take a selfie beside the one still stuck in the windscreen "you know… we ain't paying for this."
"No … a UNIT exercise, can come out of their budget. Surely they have a fund for Fuckups? Given how many they have to claim for each financial" Ianto sniffed, walking around from behind a van still in Tiger Form, Owen gaping as he looked at the Tiger the size of a bloody Rhino.
"WOW!" Owen swung with his phone for another quick selfie with Ianto who ignored the little twat, heading for Jack's prize.
"Cariad… you catch a mousie by the tail for me?" Ianto grinned, the massive teeth gleaming as he stood over the man "Hello squeak."
The man squeaked with fear, owing his name.
"Yeah hi" Jack said into his phone "Brigadier … there is a clean-up crew needed at the address your techs are hissing at you for the trace. Your men attacked me and mine … you have a lot… A LOT of mess here. Hope you have your cheque book ready."
Jack listened to the phone and hummed "Sorry, I don't speak looser! Gotta go … gonna take my family out for ice cream."
Jack snapped the phone shut, slid it into his pocket and then clapped his hands "Come on … how's for ice cream? Tiger? A hot fudge sundae for you?"
"Sounds good" Ianto nodded then glanced at the SUV "Is Moses on the dashboard of the SUV?"
"He wanted to come for a ride" Owen pointed, looking adorningly at the fluff splayed on the glass "Isn't he cuuuuute."
"Gods" Ianto sighed as he walked towards Jack transforming to human form along the way before reaching down to seize the terrified man by his throat "That man I besotted."
"Can't blame him" Jack smiled as Ianto came to a stop in front of him "I sort of am with my Kitty too."
"Oh behave" Ianto smiled happily.
The man in his grip wet himself as silently as possible, hoping they might forget him.
Nah.
Ianto looked at him and grinned with sharp teeth.