A/N: Thanks so much for the well wishes and reviews! I think with this chapter, I hit my stride again, so I hope you all enjoy it.
Also, just a reminder that nothing I do in a story should be a full-out surprise (other than main plot points). In no point in time will someone randomly die or do something out of character. All of the worries that somehow Maya will physically hurt Olivia or someone else should not be a concern. Maya is a narcissist, not a psychopath. So don't worry, sorry if I miswrote something last week to give that indication.
Alison didn't know that the air had shifted around them. That a subtle but undeniable alteration in their lives had been introduced. Once again without her permission or knowledge, Maya had found a way to demolish their progress as a couple in a matter of what felt like seconds of their intended eternity.
After their brief make out session, Alison trotted upstairs in a daze to change out of her clothes and into something more comfortable. She felt dizzy, but in the sense that her world seemed to no longer fit the mold she had created after returning home. The separated future she foresaw between her and Emily shifted just enough to make her shaken. More than dizziness, Alison felt elation that distinct and palpable progress was happening before her eyes. It was a feeling that made her want to keep Emily there, in their home. It made Alison want to see what would happen if she gave in, threw her fictional manual out the window and embraced the fact that Emily was hers again.
She walked down the stairs after changing with a permanently goofy smile tracing her lips, wanting to feel Emily in her arms once more before having to be separated for at least the night. But as her hand trailed down their railing to the bottom floor, she could hear Emily talking in the kitchen causing her to pause. Her shoes were back on, leading to an apparent pacing back and forth being audible. Olivia wasn't on the couch, meaning that she could only be wrapped in her wife's arms. Most worrisome though was the tone in Emily's voice. It was lightly frantic but laced with anger and confusion. Alison sunk to sit on one of the top steps as she attempted to listen in on whatever had caused her wife to have such a sudden shift in mood.
"No, of course, this hasn't happened before. I just – " she sighed, "I don't know what to do. It seemed like she was really going through it."
A long pause filled the bottom floor before Emily spoke again.
"Spencer, I don't know how to describe it. It immediately worried me though. Like, I think she knows I'm here at Alison's?... No, no. I know what you're saying but she's never been violent before with me."
Alison stood up at those words. She didn't know the full context, but any indication of harm toward her, her wife, or their daughter would come with swift repercussions from one Alison DiLaurentis. She rushed down the stairs as quickly as she could and bounded around the corner. Emily was turning back around from her pacing just as Alison looped into the kitchen, causing her to jump at the sight of her wife.
"Jesus Christ, Ali. You've gotta warn a girl. No, Spence, it's just Al… Yeah, I will. I needed your advice on this first though. So, I really don't have enough to file? No, she didn't threaten us. It's like a screw is loose maybe?" Emily looked up as Spencer began speaking back. She whispered for Alison to take Olivia before passing her off.
"What's Mommy talking about in there, Squirt? Can you give me any details?" Alison wrapped their daughter's minuscule hand around her pointer finger as they walked over to the couch.
And just as Olivia had done less than two months earlier without prompting, she replied, "My-yah."
"Mama?" Alison pointed to herself as Olivia shook her head 'No.'
"My-yah." She repeated before pointing down the hallway that led toward Alison and Emily's bedroom.
Shivers ran down Alison's spine as she held onto her daughter just a little more tightly, unsure if it was fear of the conversation Emily was having or the fact that even their daughter associated Maya with a bedroom that was meant to be reserved for Emily and Alison alone. Olivia noticed the worry covering her mother's face and gently rested her right hand against Alison's jaw to comfort her.
"Okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Yeah, sweetheart. Of course. Stay right here while I set up your gates so that you can play while your mom and I talk in just a minute, okay?" Alison kissed Olivia's forehead before placing her severely cowlicked and curly dark haired daughter on the sofa behind her as she set up Olivia's play area. Her thoughts faded into the recesses of her mind as Alison's thoughts raced, wondering why Emily was talking to Spencer about Maya.
This wondering manifested into obsessive concern. Concern which drowned out her wife's voice attempting to get her attention behind her.
"Alison… Al… Ali… Babe?" Emily stopped, crossing one arm around her waist before tucking some of her hair behind her ear and then raising her voice once more, "ALISON!"
Alison jumped, turning around to find Emily no more than two feet from her, "God, I'm sorry. I'm just – I figured we'd need to talk, so I decided to set up Liv's pen."
"Yeah, okay. Good thinking. I don't –" It's all Emily could get out before her emotions overtook her words. She stopped to try and catch her breath which caused tears to build up along the bottom of her eyes and a small crack in her voice to escape her lips.
"Oh, it's okay, Em. Come on. Let's sit." Alison comforted her wife, leading her to the couch before bringing Olivia over to play. "Hey, Livvy? Can you color me a picture or build me a cute house? We're gonna be right here." Alison turned back around to find Emily scrolling through her phone. She looked nauseous. "Is it okay for me to sit next to you?"
Emily looked up, concerned, "Yeah, of course. Ugh. I bet I have you worried sick. Come here, please." Alison sat directly to Emily's right, leading Emily to wrap her arm around her wife, "We're perfectly okay. I just didn't realize that the… umm... the buzzing you heard earlier wasn't someone calling after all. I think that the best course of action might just be for you to read these messages. But we have to talk it out afterwards, okay? You can't pull an Alison and immediately jump into action."
Alison scoffed as Emily passed her phone, "Pulling an Alison, eh?" Despite her originally joking demeanor, her grin slowly morphed into a grimace as her eyes glanced over each passing message.
Emily? You there?
It's me.
We need to talk. I get that we moved too quickly and that I was being negative about Alison, but after taking time to reconsider, I'm willing to move forward and figure this out.
And I know you're concerned that I'm mad at you for giving the ring back, but I understand, babe. We can work it out.
"Work it out? Em, what the fuck is she talking about? Is she delusional?"
"Alison –"
"Right. Right. Moving on."
I saw your car at Alison's the past few days and I'm sure that you two are trying to figure all of this divorce stuff out. So just reach back out to me once that maybe feels more settled for you.
"Has she been here, Emily? More settled? Does she think we're still getting a divorce?"
"I don't… I don't know, babe."
I miss seeing you and your mom and Liv. I miss feeling you wrapped around me. I miss the way you turned me on every time I saw you. I miss you. I miss us. Just text me back, okay?
Emily? Why aren't you texting me back? I don't get what I did to deserve the silent treatment. I've been nothing but supportive and there for you and all you have to say in return is NOTHING!
EMILY. CATHERINE. WHAT THE FUCK?
Hello? Are you there? What the fuck are you doing that is keeping you from your phone? Are you with that whore?
Alison gulped, attempting to keep her composure as she continued to scroll.
Okay. I shouldn't have said that. Sorry. I just want to talk this out. We can make this work. Whatever you need from me. I'll make it happen.
Don't make me look crazy, Em. Text me back when you can. I'm turning my phone off, okay? You can text me back whenever. It's okay. I'm okay.
Just. Text. Me. Back.
Please.
I love you, Em.
Oh sorry, if you didn't know, it's Maya.
Reading the last words, Alison tossed Emily's phone on the couch next to them. "This is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. Does she think that she can just waltz in here and act like –"
"Alison, please pause. For a minute, we have to talk about this."
"About what? That someone is threatening us?"
"There is no threat in those messages… at least that's what Spencer said. But we have to discuss this. We have to – "
Alison crossed her arms over her chest, "Okay, where should we start?"
"I mean, I'm just as confused as you are about what could even provoke these messages. I thought that things between us were settled. I thought she knew where I stood."
"Em, I'm not trying to come off like a total bitch here, but your version of being a clear communicator isn't always great. Based on what I just read, she gets where you stood the last time you two spoke. But does she know where we stand? Or even basic principles of separating in a relationship because she sure as hell shouldn't be driving past my home, Emily."
"I don't know..."
"I fucking hate that answer." Alison stood up in a huff, realizing that when it came to Maya, Emily simply never knew.
"What else am I supposed to say, Al?" Emily stood following her wife's pacing, "I don't fucking know! I broke up with her. I gave back the ring. I said everything that I could think of to end it. I don't know what else I – "
Alison turned around, placing her hand on Emily's chest, "Wait. Go back. You said what?"
"Everything I could think of to end it?"
"Mhm-hmm. Break that down for me. What does that mean?"
"Well, she was like… sharp?"
"Sharp? That's not a word you use to describe a person, babe. Do you mean angry or quick-witted? What are you talking about?"
"She was angry, yeah. It wasn't a great break up. And because of how tense it was, I just kept saying everything I could think of to leave."
"Emily, what the fuck are you talking about? The things you are saying don't make sense." Alison sighed in frustration, walking back over to sit on the couch, "Can you do me a favor? Talk me through what happened that day."
Emily sighed, closing her eyes for an extended amount of time before starting from the first place she could remember.
Even the way Emily knocked on the door felt distant, like it had been hallowed out to resemble the emptiness protruding from Emily's desperately gasping chest. Fear was an emotion Emily rarely felt. Anxiety, sure. Reluctantcy, of course. But fear meant the intrusion of an outside force. It meant that a part of Emily's life was completely out of her control. It was a position she had refused herself to be in again following the death of her father. But in those deafening seconds before Maya opened the door, all Emily felt coursing through her body was blood boiling fear.
Maya began speaking before she had even opened the door, realizing her fiancée was on the other side of her peephole, "Em? Babe, what are you doing here? Is everything –" The door swung open, " – okay?"
She reached forward to usher Emily inside, wrapping her arms around Emily's taller and fuller figured physique. Emily didn't know how to respond. She opted to not fully hug the woman in front of her, instead choosing to cling to Maya's sides without enveloping her. It made Maya question her immediately.
Keeping ahold of her forearms, Maya leaned backward to continue her questioning, "So what's going on, Em? Did something happen before your proceedings next week?"
"Nothing in particular…" Emily's voice faded as she walked toward Maya's kitchen, letting go of the objects in her hand and having them produce an all too familiar clank on the counter.
"Wait. Why didn't you open the door with your k –" There was a recognition of betrayal in Maya's voice as she watched Emily remove her hand to reveal her key and engagement ring on the counter.
"My. I can't do this." Emily spoke toward the kitchen backsplash, not wanting to turn around and face her.
Maya immediately reached for a wall to steady herself. "Can't do what exactly, Emily?"
"We can't get married, Maya. Not now, not ever." She finally gained to courage to turn around as Maya was gripping the wall for continued stability.
"Is this about Alison?" Her voice was shaking and for the first time in the years that Emily had known her, she saw that Maya was scared. Of what, she wasn't sure.
Emily walked to sit at the kitchen table in her nook, trying to process through all of the prepared statements she had practiced in the days prior. "No, My. This is about us, or the lack of us that we've had recently. Every argument or discussion we have comes back to me doing something wrong and the more that I think about it, the less I think I've done anything wrong in this relationship. I've known where I've stood ever since Alison got home, but you constantly question that. I can't live with thinking I've done something wrong in our relationship when all I've done is protect you."
Maya walked over to copy Emily's movements, but as she began sitting down, Emily noticed her facial expression begin to shift. The wide-eyed pent up fear moved to a narrowed-eyed expressive contempt. One corner of her mouth barely raised in a smugness that Emily couldn't quite place. She sat down staring at Emily. Unmoving and silent.
So Emily continued, "This isn't how I saw this ending at all, Maya, but if I'm actually going to practice what I preach. If I'm actually going to move forward, I have to do that with my whole self and when I'm with you, I hide parts of myself. Parts of my past. So I have to let go, even though this will be so, so hard for me."
Maya reached for Emily's hand as if she was trying to empathize, but the words that left her lips were contradictory to her actions, "Yeah, I'm sure now you're going to feel real sorry for yourself. That's exactly the role you've always wanted to play. The remorseful ex-lover."
"What?" Emily hesitantly raised her eyes up at the hurting human in front of her. "Why would you say that? The role I want to play? Maya, where is this coming from?"
But she didn't answer Emily's question, "I can't say that I am actually surprised. When I talked to your mom last week, she was talking about how worried she was that you were going to do something rash during the course of these divorce proceedings. I just didn't think it was going to be this. After all I've helped you through…"
"You talked to my mom?" Emily shook out her head, "Look, Maya. I'm not here to have a conversation about it. We've been talking about Christmas and everything that followed for over a month and a half, and we've gotten nowhere. We've had all the time in the world to talk about it. I just, I need to move forward. I need to make myself whole."
"And I don't do that?"
"Of course you do. You brought me back from a dark place exactly when I needed it, but I need to learn to get out of those dark places alone." Emily stood, wiping her sweating palms on her thighs. "It's nothing against you, Maya. I promise."
"I just can't believe that out of all the things you could do to move forward that you're cutting off the one person who was there for you through all of this. You know your mom sides with Alison, right? You know that she thinks that you didn't respect her or your relationship? That in slapping Alison in the face with your actions that you set your own mother up for failure. Of course, it's not alarming that you wouldn't consider that even your own mother is against you. You rarely think of anyone other than yourself –"
"Stop it!" Emily's hand hit the table top. Maya didn't flinch. "I'm not doing this with you. I didn't want to have an argument. I'm so sorry. There's nothing more to it than wanting to move forward. I'm sorry that you're no longer a part of that for me, but that doesn't mean that I don't realize that I'm alone in this, My. I know that you have been there for me… That's what makes this so hard. Don't make it harder." Emily wiped faint tears from the corner of her eyes.
"Sure, okay. Go ahead and leave. Good luck with Olivia and raising her with the Wicked Witch of the West. Good luck moving forward without an ounce of support from those around you. I knew that you would only break my heart. Such a fucking joke. You're such a fucking joke, Emily. You need help. You know that, right? You need to learn how to put someone else fucking first for once. So selfish. Can't wait to be better off without you." Maya continued mumbling as Emily gathered her things from the kitchen. Jab after jab being thrown her way.
"I'm sure you will be better off, My. Please just respect me wanting to start over and move forward. For myself. I'm sorry." Emily opened the door, before looking back at Maya, who still sat at the nook, seething. "Bye, Maya."
"Good luck moving forward, Emily. You can't start over if you're still you."
When Emily opened back up her eyes from looking away from her wife's stare, she saw Alison physically holding her mouth together with her teeth to stop herself from breaking into a fit.
"I can't… No, wait. First, I just –" Alison pressed her hands on the back side of her scalp flattening her hair to calm herself down as tears escaped her eyes in anger. "Em, I'm angry right now, okay? But any anger that comes out right now is not directed to you at all. I have feelings of anger toward this situation but not toward you. Does that make sense?" Emily nodded. "Anger management is helping out in some ways after all, I guess. But Emily, you do see how you were manipulated during that breakup, right?"
"No? I went in there and accomplished exactly what I wanted to."
"I get that. But I need you to look at the words she said to you, babe. You did a great job and were so, so brave, but she was gaslighting you. I didn't know it had gotten that bad. I figured that after high school, her insane behavior had simmered down a bit. But Em, she obviously had no intention of letting you go."
"How do you know?"
"All she did during that conversation was take you down at the knees, so that you think she would be the only person you have to turn to if things got too hard. You're not alone in this, Em. Your mom, your friends, me. We're all here. You're not a joke. You're doing what you thought was best for you and our daughter. I don't know where in the world she gets the fucking gall to –" Alison stopped again to take a deep breath. "I'm not trying to make you fearful at all, Em. But, I think you're extremely lucky that she didn't further force you to stay."
"What do you mean? Alison, I don't know what idea you have of Maya, but she's never been forceful physically. I mean, she's never hit me or been abusive in any way."
"Maybe we have different ideas of what verbal abuse looks like, sweetheart, but what you just told me she said to you is never and will never be okay. And I am so thankful that she's never been physical with you, but back in high school, my last conversation with her ended with a pretty hefty slap that sent me into some waiting room chairs…"
"Ali?"
"Yeah, I get it. You have every right to be upset with me not telling you, but Wayne – sorry, your dad was dying, Em. And she never reached out again to you after we talked, so there was no need for me to bring it up. I didn't really even think about it again until she snapped at me at Christmas."
"Well that at least explains why you both entered that conversation with daggers in your eyes. I'm sorry that ever happened to you, Al."
"It's not that big of a deal. She deserved every fucking word I said to her…"
Stagnant. It was the only way to describe the feel of the air in and around Rosewood Memorial Hospital. Alison had grown to spend every afternoon in the waiting room so that Emily would have someone to turn to if she needed it. But today was a Thursday and on Thursdays and Saturdays, Alison packed up an overnight bag to spend the night. The girls alternated so that if Emily or Pam ever needed to go home to rest or shower or take care of the hundreds of things they were neglecting that they would know someone who loved Mr. Fields was by his side, too.
This particular afternoon, Spencer had come by as well which was a welcomed surprise to Alison, who enjoyed having someone to speak to rather than sitting alone with her thoughts, unless Emily came out to join her before night fall. And along with the girls, Maya St. Germain continued to rear her ugly head. Alison treated her with kid gloves, always thinking through what she wanted to do or say around her multiple times before taking action. Maya reminded her of her father. Someone who only displayed love when they needed something in return. A withholding glare forever plastered onto their face so that no one ever knew where they stood. It was a balancing act for everyone they were around, and Alison had spent 16 long years learning how to appear wavering and weak in front of them, but in reality knowing their next move inside and out.
Even from far away as one of Emily's best friends, Alison knew that she needed someone far different from Maya to keep her happy in life. Emily needed someone reliable, willing to stand up for what was right no matter the cost, and dedicated to her every desire in life. Emily needed someone like Alison. Well, not Alison exactly, but someone similar.
Alison shuddered her shoulders, shaking the thought away and pulling out her crossword puzzle, as she attempted to finish her second "Hard" puzzle of the week. Not long after, as she and Spencer sat in silence, they heard harsh whispers coming from the hallway headed toward Mr. Fields' room. Emily's voice was unmistakable, so they listened in.
"What are you saying? You're not making any sense."
"I'm not making sense? Emily, I've been here for over an hour, and you've ignored me."
"The nurse just left, Maya! I was getting updates. What about that don't you get?"
"It's like you don't see all of the sacrifices everyone around you is making. Even Alison and Spencer are in the lobby right now supporting you, and they don't get a moment of your time."
"My days here are busy. I'm not trying to ignore anyone… I'm just trying to take care of my dad." Alison could hear Emily's voice cracking. "There's no way to do this the right way. I'm going to let someone down. Always."
"Well, I'm taking myself out of the equation, Em. I'm sick and tired for not being recognized for the sacrifices I've made. The rest of your minions can take care of it." The sound of Maya's kitten heels echoed down the hall.
"My? Don't leave right now. We need to talk about this. Of course I recognize you being here for me and my family. If I haven't been vocal about it, I'm sorry. But don't leave me. Please don't leave."
"It's too late, Emily. Don't call me. Please, it'd be too hard on me." Maya kept walking as Alison watched Emily crumble to the ground.
Maya looked smug as she flicked the one lone tear falling down her face off with her finger. In the same breath, she wiped her hair from her face as she entered the waiting room, staring down Spencer and Alison while walking for the door. Not realizing that as soon as she passed, Spencer ran toward Emily, and Alison turned around to speak.
"I don't know who the fuck you think you are or why you are enjoying destroying my friend. But the next time you attempt to, make sure you keep my fucking name out of your mouth."
Alison said it without thinking. It was a jab that hit 16 year old Maya St. Germain right in the face.
"Or what?" she turned around, tucking her hands into her pockets just waiting to see what Alison might come up with next.
"You don't fuck with Emily. Do you understand me? She's a fucking human being with more empathy and respect for your ass than you've ever given her."
Maya took a step forward, "You talk like you know something about her I don't. Like she hasn't given me every part of herself. Like she hasn't told me she loves me. Like I don't hold her every emotion in the palm of my hand."
"She's not your plaything."
Maya's eyes had been tracing the floor as she walked within 3 feet of Alison. But as she continued, she lifted her head, smirking from ear to ear, "That's rich. As if you don't want to make her yours." Alison attempted to speak, "Mmm. Cat got your tongue? You think I don't see the way you look at her? You think that no one else around you doesn't see the way you drool to follow her every command. It's pretty fucking sick if you ask me. I bet that shit hurts though, Al. I can empathize. Knowing that someone you love will never love you the same in return." Maya put one hand over her heart. "My heart goes out to you. The closet is a lonely place to be."
"You have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Emily's my friend." Alison cleared the gulp from her throat. "I heard everything you said. You're heartless."
"I'd rather be heartless than a callous insufferable bitch whose friends are only around because they fear you." Alison stepped backwards. "Oh, did that hurt? I'm so sorry. Not my intention." She laughed as she took another step forward.
"Don't take another step. You need to leave."
"Once again… or what?"
Without thinking, Alison stepped forward and spat at Maya's feet. "You're fucking disgusting, Maya,", she smiled, before turning around to walk toward Emily's father's room.
In the split second she turned her body though, Maya reached forward, grabbing Alison's curled ponytail backward. Alison's body snapped the opposite direction as Maya spun Alison around, before giving an open-handed slap across Alison's right cheek. The force of Alison's spin combined with the blow sent Alison falling toward the ground and into the chair she had previously been sitting in, smacking her face against the arm rest.
Alison looked up from semi-closed eyes waiting for another smack. But instead, Maya stood above her waiting to make eye contact. "Same goes for you, bitch. Keep my fucking name out of your mouth, too. And I'll be sure to never think of you or that skank ever again."
Alison shook out her shoulders as she finished reliving one of the last times she really felt every part of herself lose control. But as she looked over at her wife, she knew that this review of history had hit her harder.
"You okay, baby?"
"Yep." Emily sat forward on the couch with her shoulders over her knees as she stared aimlessly in front of her. "If you had told me that story 10 years ago, I never would have given her the time of day last year."
Alison placed her hand on Emily's upper back, "I get that, but I didn't. I didn't want to hurt you back then when you had already lost so much. And after that, there was never a good time."
"I'm not mad at you. But you do see that we didn't have to be here now, Ali?" Her voice was hollow, as if the wind had been knocked out of her so many times that Emily no longer had to will to allow herself to take another breath. "What the fuck do we do?"
"Well, she may not be the most stable atom in the bunch, but she's never threatened you or Olivia. We just need to figure out the best way to diffuse her."
"Yeah… I can set up an conversation."
Alison laughed next to Emily before reaching over to old her wife's hand, "Trust me on this one, babe. We'll all be much better off if this stays between me and her. I'm who she has an issue with, not you."
As Alison's hand tightened around Emily's, she realized that Alison was right. She had been manipulated off and on for over a decade. The only way to get a message through to Maya at this point was through Alison. Because even though Maya carried herself as this stronger than steel badass, only Emily really knew how fucking terrified she was of Alison DiLaurentis.
A/N: Welp. Thanks for riding through that hell of an episode. It took me like 4 different sittings to get through this because I've never written a character as spiteful and vindictive as Maya before. I hope that you all enjoyed. We're slightly running around 3rd base at this point in the story as there are only a few more things that do need to happen before I feel comfortable with ending this story. I do know how this all ends and everything so we are headed toward a completed story in the future, but I don't have a timeline of exactly when that will be. At least 5 to 20 more chapters for sure though. Haha I know that's an insane gap. Just gotta wait to see where these characters take me.
Thanks again for your support. It means so, so much. Congratulations to any and all graduates reading this! As an educator, I am truly so proud of your accomplishment and wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
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See you in the next one,
secretpen28