For the next few nights, Jade doesn't have much of a problem forcing herself to stay awake. Kaitlyn's words to her about the 'important' things that a child needs stay fresh in the front of her mind. Love...kindness...consistency...safety...aren't those things that everyone needs? Adults too, not just children? She wants more than anything to be able to provide Aiden with all of that and more, but shouldn't she be seeking it all for herself as well? Or does that make her selfish? She decides that it doesn't, because she can't provide for Aiden if she's not in a good place herself.
Sure, there is plenty of love and kindness in her family to provide herself and Aiden with more than they'll ever need, but the outside world lacks it for sure. Invading someone's privacy...firing questions at them while they're in a cemetery trying to visit a friend that has passed, endless stares and whispers in the supermarket, gathering outside of someone's home in hopes of forcing them out to answer questions...that provides neither love nor kindness, it actually provides the opposite. While Jade and Aiden are perfectly safe from all of that if they stay in the privacy of their own home, that doesn't feel fair. How is it any better from the way they were living before? Trapped in Ron's basement, unable to leave? Every day that she had been held hostage, she wished for her freedom and her son's...but this isn't what she had pictured. It's not even close.
Jade knows she has to make a change, but for a few days she's not really sure how. She wracks her brain for some kind of idea that could make things better for her and for Aiden, something that would provide her with the means to start building a life for the two of them. When the idea finally hits her, she's hesitant at first. It's definitely going to be faced with a lot of push-back from everyone around her, but it feels like the only feasible option at the moment.
She picks up her phone and opens the contacts app, scrolling down until she finds the name that she's looking for. As she hits the call button she takes a deep breath, the dial tone ringing in her ears as she anxiously awaits an answer on the other end.
"Hello?"
"Grandma, hi..." Jade smiles at the sound of her grandmother's voice "I was wondering if I could ask you a really big favor..."
"Look at you, hot shot." Beck chuckles as he steps out of his truck
Normally Chris and Kaitlyn encourage him to park in their driveway when he comes over to visit, but on this night in particular he isn't able to. Tyler has his new Mazda6 parked in the middle of the driveway, and is currently in the process of washing it.
"What do you think?" Tyler grins, stepping back to admire his new graduation gift
"It's a sweet ride, dude." Beck admits "Graduation present?"
"Yup!"
"Did you trade in the Santa Fe?" Beck asks, looking around for any sign of Tyler's old car
It had been Kaitlyn's at one point, she was driving it when he and Jade first met in middle school. Beck had taken many rides in the backseat of that car before either of them had their licenses, and then eventually in the passenger seat when Jade turned sixteen and was able to start driving herself but didn't yet have a car of her own.
"It's in the garage." Tyler tells him "Jade is gonna take it when she..."
"When she what?"
"When she's ready." Tyler quickly finishes, realizing that he had almost made a huge mistake "She's inside, by the way. She's getting Aiden ready for bed, but she should be down soon."
"Thanks." Beck smiles, turning to walk into the house
He enters through the door in the garage and kicks off his shoes at the mat, just as he had done every other time he came into this house since he was a teenager. Chris and Kaitlyn are in the living room watching something on TV, and both greet him warmly as his phone vibrates in his pocket. He checks it to see that it's a text from Jade asking him to wait for her in her bedroom, so he excuses himself to do just that.
Upon entering Jade's room, Beck notices that more cardboard boxes have appeared on the floor. He remembers a comment Tyler had made to him a few weeks ago about finding more of Jade's belongings stowed away in the attic, and attributes the new boxes to that. With a sigh, he flops down on Jade's bed, laying on his back while he waits for his girlfriend.
"Comfortable?" She chuckles when she enters the room
The sun is still partially out, but is starting to set. So she walks across the room and switches on the lamp on her desk before sitting down beside Beck on the bed.
"Very." He smiles "Aiden's in bed already?"
"Yeah, and thank god." Jade rolls her eyes "My mom and Chris took him to the beach today. All of that time in the sun, exerting all of that energy running around, and he missed his nap. Talk about cranky pants to the max."
"You didn't go with?" Beck asks, sitting up
"Nah." Jade shakes her head "I probably could have, with my hair tied up and a big hat and sunglasses we might have been able to have a normal day without me drawing any unnecessary attention. I spent the day with Tyler though, we haven't been able to do that in a while. I let him drive me all over in his new car and then we stopped for ice cream at this place in Pasadena. It was really nice."
"That's awesome." Beck tells her "I'm glad you got to do that."
"Yeah, me too." Jade nods, looking down at her hands "Espeically considering..."
Beck waits for her to finish her thought, but she doesn't. She continues looking down at her hands as she wrings them together, looking like she's searching for words she can't seem to find.
"Considering what, Jade?"
"I need to tell you something." Jade admits "And you're not going to like it."
"What's wrong?" Beck asks her, suddenly sitting up even straighter "Jade, whatever it is...you can tell me."
His mind immediately rushes to the worst case scenario. Had something happened? Is she sick? Is Aiden? Is Tyler? Why did her demeanor suddenly become so serious? And why is she so nervous to share the details with him?
"Aiden and I are going to go stay with my grandparents in Charleston for a little while." Jade looks up at him, her expression implying that she's dreading his reaction
"Alright?" He shrugs "How long is 'a little while'?"
If she's planning on going soon and returning before school starts again in the fall, maybe he could go with them. Not the whole time of course, unless she planned on it being a short stay. He had always wanted to visit her grandparents with her when they were younger, their house and the beach nearby were supposed to be beautiful, but the logistics never worked out.
"Until further noticed..."
"You..." He hesitates "You're going to move there? Permanently?"
Jade nods, still unable to make eye contact with him.
"When?"
"Next weekend, hopefully."
"Next weekend as in eight days from now?" Beck clarifies "Jade-"
"I need to start over somewhere." Jade cuts him off "I don't think I'll ever have a chance at a normal life here, and neither will Aiden. I need to think about my son now."
"It's only been a couple of months, Jade." He reminds her "It's all still fresh in people's minds. Give it time, the weirdness will die down. It-"
"That's just the thing though, it won't." She shakes her head as she stands up, suddenly feeling the need to be pacing "I'm always going to be the girl who was kidnapped and he's always going to be the kid who's mom was raped. That's always going to be what people think of. We need a fresh start somewhere that no one knows us."
"What about me?" Beck stands up as well, walking towards her
"What about you?"
"I have a life here, Jade. I have a job." He reminds her "I can't just pick up and move to Charleston."
Can he?
"I'm not asking you to."
"What...what about us then? I thought we were giving this a shot?"
"We di...I mean, we are." She sighs "But I can't stay here, Beck. Deep down...as hard as it is...you have to know that, don't you?"
She's right, very deep down...he does know that starting over fresh somewhere really is what's best for her...and for Aiden. Sure, a few people, friends of her grandparents maybe, might know who she is, but a vast majority won't. Her story might have popped up once or twice on the news there and then gone away, it wasn't a local thing that shook the entire community there. It's her best shot, and he wants that for her. But he doesn't want to be without her either...or Aiden at this point. He's bonded with the little boy in an almost, dare he say it, fatherly way.
"Maybe we rushed into things." Jade says, pulling Beck out of his own head and back to reality
"What?" He says "Jade, no. Don't say that."
"Maybe it's true though." She admits "We got back together so quickly, we weren't even really thinking about the future. There was no chance of us getting back to normal, not after everything...and especially not now, I guess."
"Are you saying you want to break up?"
He really hopes that isn't what she's saying, but that's the vibe that he's getting. Her mind seems to be made up about moving, so their only real options at this point are to break up or try long distance. Neither one of those choices seems all that appealing to Beck, but he doesn't just want to give up on her.
"I'm saying I don't want you to change your whole word just because I crashed back into it." She tells him "That's not fair."
"Maybe I want to." He shrugs
"I'm done holding you back, Beck." Jade shakes her head, a few tears slipping from her eyes "It's not fair."
"No." He shakes his head, trying to hug her but she swats his arms away "Jade no, please. This can still work, what about that happy ending we talked about wanting for ourselves back in college?"
"Don't you get it? That future that we wanted, we're never going to have!" She exclaims, obviously close to her breaking point "That glamorous Hollywood life? It's out the window now!"
"Well, obviously! I knew that a long time ago, even before I knew you were still alive! But there was always more to it than just that, Jade! What about spending the rest of our lives together? Getting married? Having kids?"
"Beck, I have all of this emotional trauma that I'm trying to work through right now. I don't know what I want!" Jade admits "Sure, one day I think I want to be married, but I don't know when that will be. I don't know if I want more kids. I don't know what my life is going to look like a month from now, let alone years!"
"I love you, Jade. I want you in my life..." Beck tells her, reaching for her hand "Doesn't that count for something?"
"You love the me you knew as a teenager!" Jade yanks her hand away "But she died a long time ago! I'm different now!"
"I know that...I still love you."
"There's so much you don't know." She shakes her head, tears falling quickly now "You have no idea what it's like to be me. To live every moment of my life in a state of constant anxiety that I'll wake up tomorrow and still be there, that all of this was a dream and he still has a hold on me. To not be able to go out in public without feeling like a bug under a microscope. To not be able to sleep because of the nightmares that come every night and torture me."
"Jade..."
She's right, and he knows it. He'll never truly know what it's like to be where she is, but he wants to at least try. He wants to be able to understand and help her, but she has to meet him halfway.
"I need you to leave."
"Don't make me leave." He begs her "Please, we can figure this out, Jade. We'll find a way to-"
"I'm sorry, Beck." Jade shakes her head "But I think right now, this is what I need. If you really love me as much as you say you do, you'll let it happen."
"Can I at least come and say goodbye before you go?" He asks, stuffing his hands into his pockets "I...I don't want to let you...or Aiden...leave without getting to say goodbye."
"I...sure..." She sighs "I...I'll text you once we get everything figured out."
"Alright..." Beck nods, turning for the door "I...I guess I'll see you then."
"See you..."
It doesn't feel right to him, just walking away like this. But Jade is right, he loves her...and he has to let her do what's best for her and her son. Even if that something right doesn't include him.
Jade watches from her window as Beck sulks down the driveway towards his truck. Tyler is still outside washing his car, and it looks as if he tries to say something to her now ex-boyfriend. The two men talk for less than a minute, and then Beck climbs into his truck and drives off.
She hears the door behind her open and panics for a moment, wondering if the commotion of their argument might've woken Aiden, but is almost relieved to see her mother standing near her bed.
"Looks like he didn't take it well, did he?" Kaitlyn says sadly
"No..." Jade shakes her head, moving into her mother's open arms "...but I knew that he wouldn't..."
She wanted to be open and honest with Beck, but almost wishes that she hadn't. If she had waited until the last minute to tell him what she was planning, sure he would have been mad but at least she would have gotten a few more days with him before she left.
"Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I want the fresh start for myself and for Aiden." Jade nods "I just wish I didn't have to lose Beck because of it...but it was inevitable. Our futures are headed in two different directions now, and it's not fair to make him give up what he wants at my expense."
"Well, you know how that saying goes..." Kaitlyn sighs as she hugs her daughter a bit tighter "If you love someone, set them free. And if they come back..."
"Yeah, I know..." Jade nods "I don't think he's coming back, Mom."
"Then it's not meant to be." Kaitlyn tells her "And I know that can be hard to come to terms with, but-"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore..."
"Alright." Kaitlyn nods, understanding how much pain the conversation is causing her daughter "Do you want to go for a walk, maybe? Just you and me?"
"Sure..." Jade agrees "I...I'd like that."