Chapter 23

Ethan couldn't sleep during the night. The vision he saw earlier today was one that he knew was going to haunt him for a while. He was beginning to feel the need to be sick, but it wasn't down to what had happened. What he's witnessed on the way home. The discomfort his friends' faces as they had to stop to feel the effects of chemotherapy and the bumpy roads he drove along.

It was knowing.

Knowing.

Ethan couldn't sleep. Lily and Iain feeling sick, feeling worse after their chemotherapy sessions.

He's caused that.

It was his fault.

"Ethan," Alicia walked over to him, "You're not going to bed?"

"Sorry," Ethan kept his eyes on the turned off television, "I can't sleep."

Alicia sighed to herself. She's getting fed up of Ethan's constant self-pity. There are others going through worse times, you only need to look at Lily Chao and Iain Dean. No one was expecting them to both be diagnosed with cancer.

"Ethan," Alicia groaned, "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"It was my fault," Ethan sighed.

"That was in the past," Alicia groaned, "You know you've been starting to wind me up with your self-pitying. There are other people going through worst at the moment."

Ethan begun to feel guilty. Was he really mumbling on about what has happened? Was it just Cal and Alicia he mentioned this to? Was it the first time that he ever rambled on about everything?

Ethan needed something, anything. It felt so dark in the flat, the only light showing was the lamp in the corner. The red walls were beginning to look like bricks, just trying to seal him and Alicia in. The warm room just became unbearable now.

That's what Ethan needed! Cold fresh air! He needed to go for a walk! Clear his head a little bit!

"I just need to go for a walk," Ethan sighed, getting up to grab his coat.

"It's the middle of the night," Alicia commented.

"I just need some fresh air," Ethan responded, walking out of the door before Alicia could stop him.

The pain is uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that Lily knew fully well there was no chance she would be having an undisturbed sleep. Her stomach kept churning and churning. There may even be a chance that some of the acid in her stomach had travelled back up the digestive system. Lily felt her whole body was on fire. Without pain relief, there was no way she was going to get comfortable, not tonight.

Lily carefully spun her legs around, before picking herself up from the bed. Slowly, she lifted herself off the bed, getting on her feet.

Then she felt it.

Whatever the pain was, it was now climbing up over her body.

Lily ran as fast as she could, luckily the bathroom was only two doors away. For once, she knew she wouldn't care if she woke the beast sleeping in the bedroom next to it.

As soon as she opened the bathroom door, Lily lifted the toilet seat up. She was thrilled she remembered the layout of the bathroom.

As soon as she stuck her head down the toilet, Lily realised why she was in so much pain. As she hurled out the cause of her pain, the pain began to lift away, making herself feel more comfortable. Maybe now she could get a decent night's sleep.

Lily started to breath heavily again, until she smelt her breath.

Every morning she wakes up, she found herself snuggling up to Iain, even when they were both working. It was a special moment that the two of them had shared together, bringing them closer together each day. If they weren't cuddling up, they were sharing tender kisses in bed.

Lily didn't want Iain to deal with her after she threw up.

Turning to the sink, she saw the toothpaste and mouthwash. Grabbing her yellow toothbrush, she applied the toothpaste and started to brush her teeth, determined to remove all remnants of the vomit. She spat out the foam, before applying the toothpaste again and gargling the scent with her mouthwash before spitting it out.

Holding her hand out, Lily breathed into her hand. Unfortunately, the trace of vomit, although weakened, remained on her breath. She knew that mouthwash and toothpaste wasn't going to get rid of the stench completely.

Sighing in defeat, Lily decided to walk back to bed. She sat back down, swinging her leg over. Determined not to put Iain off, Lily turned her back to him. The memory of the car journey still haunted her as they have never thrown up on the same day. It was normally one or the other who felt sick.

Lily didn't want Iain to experience the uncomfortable feeling again.

One time was bad enough.

The cold January air was exactly what Sam needed now, more than ever. She kept on replaying what has happened the afternoon. She felt sad for poor Ruby. Having a loved one, a close loved one whose treatment has not been working, it is never easy. When Ruby told her about Luke, her mind cast aside to Iain, Lily and everyone else who she had met, all living with or battled cancer one way or another.

Sam wondered if there is more, she could do to support Ruby.

Now the cold air started to hit Sam. Why did she think going for a jog without a thicker jacket was a good idea? Her fingers felt as if they could fall off her hands, she could do with something a lot warmer. She could do with a nice warm hot chocolate.

Of course!

Coffee All Night! The only coffee place that opens past midnight. It was a good thing that Sam remembered to bring her purse after all as she needed something to warm herself up.

Walking over to the place, she smiled as she opened the door. Only to notice someone was sitting on one of the tables by the window. Someone she knows.

"Ethan?" she walked over to him, "I didn't know you come to this place."

"I needed some air," Ethan sighed, "I did something stupid. I still can't get over it."

"Right, it sounds like you could do with another coffee," Sam smiled, "It's on me. And I'm sure what you've done isn't so bad."

"You don't want to know," Ethan looked at her, "It's bad."

"Whatever it is," Sam reassured him, "I've done ten times worse. What are you drinking?"

"Gingerbread hot chocolate," Ethan answered, grabbing his wallet.

"I told you," Sam took the wallet and placed it on the table, "It's on me."

Gem couldn't sleep; those night shifts have finally disturbed her body clock completely. Now instead of going out and relaxing during the day, she was sleeping at dawn, as if she was a vampire, ready to go out and feast in the night. But for the time being, she decided just a quiet night with a good film will do her the world of good.

Turning on her laptop, she looked through her collection of films to choose from. Unsure over which film to choose from, whether a comedy would lighten the mood, or a horror could help normalise her body clock once again.

Gem was about to select the film, before she heard someone running outside her bedroom. Carefully, she listened as she heard splutters and coughing from the other side of her bedroom. This is the third time this has happened tonight, and in all honesty, she was getting nervous about it. The anti-sickness tablets haven't worked, and she could swear blind she heard both Lily and Iain run to the bathroom tonight.

Gem carefully listened as the footsteps; slightly nervous she didn't clock on over who it was who had been sick right this second. As soon as she heard the person sitting on the bed, she crept outside to investigate further, only to find Lily pulling up the duvet, leaning on her side.

Its broke Gem's heart to see she didn't snuggle into her brother like she normally does, but Gem understood the reason why. She wasn't sure if Lily knew that Iain had also been sick in the middle of the night, but she doesn't think she's aware. Especially when Lily turned her back to Iain, ensuring that he doesn't breathe in the vomit on her breath, even though the vomit breath had never bothered Iain before.

Gem walked back to her bedroom, closing the door and sat on her bed. Just as she was about to turn on a film, she once again heard someone run over to the bathroom. The footsteps felt heavier, so Gem knew exactly who was running and spluttering.

And she also knew that he wouldn't want his other half to inhale the vomit from his breath either.

Cal stepped foot out of his bedroom, to come face to face with Alicia. Why was she up at this time of night? And where was Ethan at this time of night? It's not like him to disappear into the middle of the night. Especially in the middle of January.

"Is everything okay?" Cal asked her, "Need a drink?"

"I need Ethan to stop his self-pitying," Alicia muttered, "He's keeping more secrets from me. I have a feeling he's preferring to spend more time with Sam than with me."

Cal closed his eyes. When Ethan started to spend time with Sam, he never expected Alicia Munroe to be the jealous type. But now he's starting to doubt her relationship with his little brother. Ethan is never the kind of guy to be unfaithful, and Alicia needs to trust him, especially when Cal himself has begun to feel strongly about Sam.

"Alicia, you need to accept that Ethan is becoming friends with Sam," Cal mentioned.

"Aren't you concerned yourself?" Alicia growled at him, "If I remember correctly, you're trying to pursue Sam yourself?"

"I wouldn't say 'pursue'" Cal glared at her, "I just don't know what's going on between us."

"Yeah, but I think Ethan had that idea," Alicia muttered.

Cal realised what's on Alicia's mind. Because they both knew Alicia was not the first girl that he and Ethan had argued over. There were a good few as well, Iris, Rebecca, Romana.

Lily.

Had Alicia heard about the incident where Ethan punched Cal after they fought over Lily? Or is Alicia scared about her relationship over nothing?

"Ethan and Sam aren't going to be an item," Cal tried his best to reassure her, "But they are going to spend time together, especially when they're going to be doing the run together."

"That's how it all starts," Alicia mutters, walking to the window, "What does Sam Nicholls have, that I don't? Ethan is being selfish, keeping his thoughts to himself, preferring to spend time with Sam than me."

"Like you ignored him at the Christmas party?" Cal asked her, alerting her attention.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There were talks about cancelling the Christmas party after the flu outbreak," Cal reminded her, "But some employees asked them not to cancel the party, including you."

"What's that got to do with what's going on?" Alicia asked him.

"Who did you think Connie bestowed the difficult task of breaking the news to Iain and Lily after you and your party asked the possibility of uninviting them?" Cal asked, "You ended up putting Ethan in a difficult position. And to top it all off, you ignored him during the party, talking to Louise!"

Cal remembered seeing this. In fact, he himself wasn't paying attention to Sam talking to him during the party, as he slowly noticed how down Ethan must have looked after Alicia appeared to ignore him whilst she was talking to Louise. In fact, Alicia wasn't even paying attention to Ethan walking out of the pub during the party. Cal even went as far as to walk out of the building to see Ethan, sacrificing his chance with Sam.

"Alicia, how is Ethan spending time with Sam any different to you spending time with Louise?" Cal asked her.

"That's different!" Alicia mentioned, "Sam and Ethan don't have anything in common!"

Cal realised that Alicia didn't notice or understand Ethan at all. It isn't easy for him now as normally whenever Ethan's mind is troubled, he could go and talk to Lily about the bothers he is experiencing. However, because Lily isn't working now, Ethan doesn't have anyone who is deemed trustworthy to talk about his problems. Cal realised that Ethan doesn't consider him as trustworthy as Lily, which was why he wasn't confiding in him.

Iain must have been to Sam, what Lily is to Ethan.

Someone to confide in.

To Cal, Sam and Ethan's friendship, makes a lot of sense.

"Alicia, what's different in Ethan's life?" Cal asked her.

"I don't know," Alicia answered confused.

"Maybe you should know," Cal sighed, looking her in the eyes, "The only reason you're scared Ethan will dump you for Sam is because you dumped me for Ethan."

"A bit harsh isn't it?" Alicia muttered.

"You need to understand that things are changing for Ethan at the moment," Cal explained, "That includes his friendship with Sam. You keep behaving the way you've been acting, then you will lose Ethan."

"No," Alicia growled, "Ethan wouldn't walk away from me without a good reason."

The fire began to spread once again in Iain's stomach. It was horrible. It was as if the drugs were doing more harm for him than good. When the nurses mentioned that the drug would damage his healthy cells as well, Iain didn't think they would do this to him.

It was clear there was no way he was going to sleep well tonight!

The pain was now getting unbearable, Iain knew something was trying to climb back up.

Swiftly, he swung his legs around and lifted himself off the floor, running into the bathroom, to empty the contents of his stomach.

He didn't once care that he would be awaken sleeping beast in the room next door, she can kill him tomorrow when they both have energy.

The moment he entered the room with the brown slabs, he lifted the toilet seat up, leaning his head forward and splutter out whatever it was that was climbing up into his mouth. He vomited out the contents for the first time, the pain was easing up, but it hadn't completely gone away, so he waited for a few minutes before standing up.

Torn between whether he should grab some mouthwash to get rid of the vomit on his breath, he knew it'd be a waste of time. There would be a chance he could run back to the bathroom to be sick again. And he'd just be wasting the mouthwash.

But he wakes up snuggling to Lily, even more now than before. That means she could end up breathing in the vomit from his breath. She's already been sick once this afternoon, the car journey still played on his mind. Even though she did feel nausea following the chemotherapy.

One breath of vomit could make her feel sick again.

He didn't want to risk that onto her.

Iain sighed; it wouldn't be worth using up the mouthwash every time he was sick.

Picking himself up, he felt that his body was feeling much better. Taking a deep breath, Iain walked back into the bedroom, settling himself back into bed. He looked at Lily, sound asleep, not a care in the world. Leaning to her shoulder, he placed a soft kiss to her shoulder, turning his back to her, so she doesn't smell the vomit on his breath.

Closing his eyes, Iain settled himself back to bed.

Hoping to get a few more hours sleep in case he feels sick again.

"Here you go," Sam settled the hot chocolate down in front of Ethan, "How are you feeling?"

"Still feel as if I'm a rubbish friend," Ethan muttered, "Me and Cal, we went to see Iain and Lily at their chemo session today."

Sam remembered the day she went with Lily. Those horrible yellow walls, leading to the lavender coloured bays. Were those horrible walls meant to provide comfort for people having painful treatment? It still hunted her.

"I drove them back home, only I may have gone a bit too fast on a country road," Ethan explained, "Lily asked to stop the car and she threw up once she opened the door."

"Ethan that wasn't your fault," Sam reassured him, "Was Lily feeling nausea before? It would normally be the case."

"She was, but Iain wasn't," Ethan delved in, "He threw up one minute later."

Sam clenched her eyes at that. She is beginning to see why Ethan is blaming himself, but maybe there was a chance. After all, she remembered that after her first chemotherapy session, Lily didn't feel unwell until the moment she got home.

"It might not have been the journey mind," Sam explained, "I came to see Iain one day, he spent half the visit over the toilet. Sometimes people react differently at times."

"Iain and Lily both admitted that it was either one or the other," Ethan sighed, "It was both of them."

"Oh Ethan," Sam took his hand, "It's not your fault. It was a coincidence that it has happened."

Ethan smiled at Sam. He was thankful that she came into the café, even though he didn't understand why she was here.

"Thank you," Ethan sighed, "Normally I'd be talking to Lily about what's been bothering me, but I feel as if I'm a burden. Alicia just tells me to stop feeling sorry for myself."

"I understand the need for you to talk to Lily," Sam smiled, "Whenever I'm stressed, I talk to Iain."

"In all honesty," Ethan watched the window, "I could do with a distraction."

Sam knew that it would take time before Ethan forgives himself for the bumpy road incident. After all, he blames himself for Iain and Lily being sick and the knowledge that it was the first time they've both been sick must have hunted him. There must be something she could do to help Ethan and take his mind off everything that is happening.

Sam suddenly remembered, tomorrow she is due to meet up with her cousins. Maybe they could help Ethan.

"You're working tomorrow?" Sam asked him.

"No," Ethan asked her, "Why?"

"I'm going to be meeting with my cousins tomorrow," Sam suggested, "Why don't you come with us? It'll be fun."

"Shouldn't you be asking Cal?" Ethan smirked at her, "What did happen at the Christmas party?"

"I would ask him but he's working," Sam smiled, "Beside I think you need it more than ever."

"Fine," Ethan smiled, "I will. Thanks Sam, I'm looking forward to it."

Ethan took one look out the window. Deep down, he wasn't sure if he made the right choice deciding to go out for a walk, especially during the middle of the night. But now that he's bumped into Sam, he knew he made the right decision. You'll never know who you may bump into during the middle of the night.

However, there were several things that Ethan isn't sure about. Why is Alicia so worried about his friendship with Sam? It was like his friendship with Lily and Alicia isn't too worried about that. So why is it not okay to have that with Sam? Especially when Sam is possibly going out with Cal?

Ethan has given Alicia no reason for her to doubt him. So, why does he feel as if she can't trust him?

It was nine in the morning and Gem knew she had a bit more energy than she did during the middle of the night. It was strange, although she may have only a couple of hours sleep, it still didn't affect her as much. Maybe it was knowing she's going to be working in ten hours or knowing that she would possibly be interrupting some quiet time for Iain and Lily next door.

Cautiously, she crept out of her bedroom. She checked the bathroom to see if anyone was in there. The vomiting seemed to have ended, slowly but surely. Gem felt relieved, since this meant that Iain and Lily must have settled back to a comfortable slumber.

Standing by their bedroom door, Gem quietly opened it, expecting to find Iain and Lily both fast asleep, backs to each other, not wanting the other to smell the vomit on their breaths.

That was not what she found.

Iain and Lily were still sound asleep, but during their slumber, they must have turned to face each other in their sleep. In fact, Gem wasn't sure they realised that Lily was a lot closer to Iain in her slumber, her head was more on Iain's pillow, rather than on her own. Gem also noticed Iain's arm draped around her waist, with his other hand resting under Lily's hand. It was as if the pair hadn't been cautious about the smell of vomit.

Gem carefully closed the door behind her, she didn't want to disturb the two-fast asleep.

They needed the rest.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter.