DOCTOR'S VISIT

Alex woke up entangled and wrapped against Garrus' naked body. It'd been a memorable night, one of the best of her life, and now it was over. The fight for Earth – for the galaxy – was coming, and they'd be there tomorrow, armed with the Crucible. This was it. All preparations were in place, and there was nothing more they could do in their war against the Reapers. Before the thought could place roots and grow, she let it go. Despite that, it allowed for another sneaking thought to swoop in and sink its teeth in.

She had a visit scheduled with Chakwas this morning to run some tests, and for reasons she couldn't make sense of, it gave her anxiety. There was something Chakwas wasn't telling her. Alex felt it down to her core, and it made her stomach contort and wriggle.

Not again…

Without any regard to the peacefully sleeping turian, Alex jumped out of bed to hopefully make it to the toilet in time. It was mostly dry heaving. There was nothing in her stomach to throw up. It couldn't be a hangover, that was for sure. And she slept quite soundly, undisturbed by her usual nightmares. What was wrong with her?

"Are you pregnant?"

Ugh! Alex groaned and damned Jack for asking such a ridiculous thing last night. Damn her more for making Alex think it just might be why she's been feeling like shit. If Mordin were alive, Alex might've asked him if it was possible to get pregnant by a turian, in which she'd probably receive a hundred reasons why it wouldn't work. Chakwas would probably do the same, only in much less time and delivered with a side-eye. The one thing that gave her comfort about seeing Chakwas was she'd finally get an answer for all of this.

The windows of the medbay were shuttered, something Alex had never seen Chakwas do before. It certainly didn't help her nerves, but she erased all tension and feigned indifference as if this was a regular check-up.

"Ah, Commander," Chakwas greeted from her desk. "I apologize for the early start, but I had to make sure you were fasting for the tests."

Alex hiked herself up onto the exam table and observed as Chakwas set up her tray with syringes, needles, and empty test tubes. She noticed a pensive and serene expression along the doctor's features.

"No hangover this morning for you, huh? You must have a secret remedy."

Chakwas' lips stretched into a smile. "A recipe you may not need for a while."

An eyebrow shot up. "What do you mean?" Alex asked, though, received no reply. Karin brought the perfectly arranged tray over to her and began the phlebotomy procedure. Just as Alex opened her mouth to ask what she was looking for on these tests today, Chakwas spoke.

"Anderson and I go a long way back. Of course, you know that. One of the things that we found common ground was we were married to our work. We had minor romances along the way, but neither of came close to anything serious except David and-"

"Kahlee Sanders," Alex finished for her, thoughtfully watching as her blood flowed into the tubes, filling one after another.

David had spoken of his history with the Alliance's top computer and systems technician in his younger days. Used to the idea of having a mother and father, Alex often asked why he didn't have a wife. Anderson would sit her on his lap and tell her about "the one that got away." She was aware the former sweethearts had rekindled the flame right before the Reapers attacked – awful timing.

"Yes. Lovely and intelligent woman." The last tube was full, and Chakwas removed the needle to apply a bandage over the puncture. "I'm sure they would have liked children of their own, no offense to you. It's a little late for that, but it's not too late for them to enjoy some grandchildren."

Alex's mind became a jumbled and confusing mess. She was feeling a little woozy following the blood draw and didn't comprehend what was going on.

"Uh…" she uttered. "What do you mean by saying all of this, Karin?"

The doctor removed her gloves and disposed of the contaminated supplies.

"I'd like to prescribe you some medicine to help you with nausea and calm down those night terrors, but I need to confirm you're not pregnant."

Alex's mouth twisted, completely perplexed. "I've only had sex with Garrus." And Nihlus, her brain her corrected. "Well, recently and regularly, I've only had sex with Garrus. Either way, I'm not pregnant."

"I don't care who the father is, Shepard. I care if there's a father at all. There could be serious birth defects with the wrong medication."

Is Karin serious? Why is this even a conversation? It's impossible!

"But he's turian! I can't-"

"The Geth altered your DNA to be more compatible with a turian's and accept it to avoid allergic reactions during intercourse," Chakwas continued more firmly. "There's a solid possibility it made it possible for you and Garrus to conceive what I can only assume a crossbreed of turian and human species. A new form of life."

Alex's skin crawled, and the sensation soon turned into chilling quivers. The outer parts of her vision were becoming dark and blurry. The loud drumming of her heart filled her ears, unable to make out what Chakwas was saying even as she tried to read her lips. Her nails dug and cut into the upholstery of the table. Her lungs were empty. Had she forgotten to breathe? Where had the oxygen in the room gone?

There was no way Alex could be pregnant. Under different circumstances, she would've jumped off the bed and into Karin's arms, shaking with joy instead of dread. She was going into battle tomorrow. With a baby in her belly? No, no, no. She couldn't!

But she had to.

None of this was about her. It was about saving as many people and aliens as she could and avenging those who didn't make it this far.

Alex wasn't sure when she snapped back to reality. Only that she found herself overheated, breathing heavy and with wet cheeks. Chakwas watched with concern and consoled her softly as Alex collected herself, knowing she had to let Alex ride this overwhelming moment out.

Almost breathless, Alex said, "So the blood you took today…"

"For a pregnancy test and routine checks," she confirmed. "I'm not naïve enough to think that even under doctor's orders, you would sit out tomorrow's fight under any circumstance. But I do think you should know under what conditions you would be fighting in. Garrus, too."

Silence fell full of so many questions for which the answers did not exist. Scenarios in which there was no explanation.

"When will I know?" she croaked.

"Blood tests are the surest way of knowing, but I'd have to run it through, and it will take longer to get the results back. Urine tests take only a matter of minutes."

Karin held out a long silver wrapper. The dreaded pee stick Alex had seen many take but never had to worry about taking it herself. Until now.

"You don't have to do it now if you're not ready. The best time to take it is first thing in the mornings. If not today, then tomorrow."

Alex's fingers wrapped around the pregnancy test slowly and deliberately. Her palms were getting sweaty from the heat of internal chaos knowing everything has changed. She jumped off the table, pocketed the test, and left the med bay without saying anything more.

The doors closed behind her, and Alex scanned around the deck. It was mostly empty, too early for anyone hungover willing to be awake, but there were a few stragglers. With very little thought, Alex rushed to cross the deck but halted before attempting to knock. She looked at the door and then paced as she tried to decide who to tell about the urgent news. She wanted to tell Garrus, of course. Maybe he should be the first to tell, but he had a busy day full of meetings with Nihlus and the Primarch. If he wasn't hungover, he certainly didn't need an extra distraction to prevent him from doing his work. So her next option be would her wise close friend, right?

"Are you going to come in, or are you going to continue to stare at my door?"

Alex hadn't the slightest clue when Liara opened the door but was grateful she did. She breezed past Liara and Glyph into her quarters and plopped down on Liara's bed.

"Alex?" the asari scientist called out, following the frantic commander.

Alex leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and steepling her hands. "I may be pregnant." Her eyes drew upward in search of Liara's reaction, who was interestingly unfazed.

"While I'm flattered that you think I'm the right type of doctor to see about a preg-" Liara's hands flew to her mouth and gasped. "Oh!"

"Yeah," Alex replied simply.

"With Garrus?"

"Yeah…"

Liara got the passionate mad scientist look in her eyes upon the revelation. "But…! He's turian!"

"Right."

"So that means… What the geth did, it really did change your DNA in unimaginable ways!" A finger lifted up to Liara's lips, and she began walking back and forth pensively. "Imagine what this could mean! The fact an inter-species conception was possible. You could eat dextro food with no allergic reaction, although, we'd have to test it first just to be sure and-"

"Do you mind not treating me like a science experience for a second? I'm about to break down. Again."

Liara lowered herself onto the bed and placed a hand on Alex's knee. "I'm sorry. I got a little carried away. How did you find out?"

"Chakwas. She had suspicions after Garrus told her I'd been feeling sick. It's not for sure just yet. She took some blood this morning, and it'll take a while to get the results back. In the meantime…" Alex pulled out the test from her pocket. "I can take a urine test and know right now."

"Are you going to take it? With everything going on tomorrow… Does Garrus know?"

Alex shook her head, and shame instantly fell onto her, anchoring her further down into painful thoughts. "I don't know if I can. Or want to."

"Why not?"

A deep and long sigh escaped from her, and Alex cradled her head into her palms. "I don't know. There's too many scenarios in my head to process. I don't think I can handle the disappointment if I tell him and the test is negative. Or if Chakwas is wrong and we actually can't have kids. He wants kids. I can't get his hopes up like that."

"If there's any chance you're carrying…you should find out, Alex. You could be putting someone other than yourself in danger. You shouldn't be putting that kind of stress on yourself. Or a baby."

"I know that Liara!" Alex snapped, jumping up from the bed with heated emotions and stinging eyes. "But what am I supposed to do?! Everyone is counting on me tomorrow! I can't sit on the sidelines now that we're finally here. Even…" Her voice cracked, "Even if there's a baby."

Liara was uncomfortably quiet, maintaining serious eye contact. "But knowing may change your mind."

Alex knew the right thing to do was to take the test. To find out if she was now responsible for a new life. And to tell Garrus. He'd be the father, after all. It was all so overwhelming. Suffocating.

In much need of a distraction and letting her mind clear of turmoil, Alex spent the remaining part of the day occupying herself with quality time with each member of the crew. Helping EDI choose a gift for Joker as a romantic gesture. Watching a biotiball game with Steve and James. Chatting over a home-cooked meal with Kaidan and Ashley, though she didn't have much of an appetite to enjoy it. She vehemently avoided Javik. He had no respect or awareness of privacy and would likely divulge whatever he "sensed" with his Prothean abilities. Each and every person noted that Alex seemed a little off, and each and every time she assured them she was okay. No one was brave enough to pry further.

As the day came to a close, the hole burning in her pocket became too much, and Alex found it best to head back up to her quarters. Garrus wasn't there. He sent her a message to her omni-tool that it'd be another hour with Turian Hierarchy until he could head to bed. Alex was almost jealous he got to spend the entire day in a pre-war meeting. She could've used something to keep her occupied.

Alex went to the bathroom and removed the pregnancy test out of her pocket for the last time. She fiddled with the wrapper for a few seconds before hiding it in the medicine cabinet.

In the morning.

She woke up alone and with a message waiting for her on her omni-tool. Garrus started his day early, feeling the pestering need to calibrate the Normandy's guns and make sure they were ready for anything and everything today.

Admittedly, Alex was a little relieved Garrus wasn't around. She didn't have to explain to him why she was peeing on a long piece of plastic. Would it even need to be explained, or would he know just by seeing it? At least there wasn't the added pressure of him watching over her shoulder or waiting in a cramped bathroom with her for the result.

Okay. Like ripping off a bandaid.

Alex tore off the silver wrapper and popped off the cap at the end of the stick. She walked over to the toilet, pulled down her pants and underwear, and hovered over the bowl. She angled the test underneath her and let a steady stream flow over the tip for a couple of moments before pulling it out and snapping the cap back on.

As she pulled up her pants back on and washed her hands, her eyes never left the small indicator window. It was pointless to watch. It wasn't going to make the results come any faster. But each second felt like forever. 180 seconds of forever.

Alex paced the length of the bathroom, which wasn't very big. Though it felt like she'd walked miles, it'd only been a few steps in a brief amount of time. Each step brought up a new contemplation and more emotional strain. She still hadn't figured out what she'd do when she found out if she was pregnant or not. The first thing was to tell Garrus. Possibly. What if he'd convince her to stay on the ship, and he went out distracted and got hurt because she told him? Alex couldn't afford for him to be distracted. And if she didn't tell Garrus, but he found out afterward, he'd be furious. Betrayed even.

However, if she wasn't, then Alex could wait to tell him afterward. No harm done.

Commander, you've got a priority message from Admiral Hackett, requesting to come aboard.

"What?" Alex exclaimed quietly to herself. Alex wasn't expecting him to be here so soon. The time to order the fleets to Earth had already come. She called up to Joker, "Permission granted."

Aye, Commander.

"Shit!" Alex shouted a little louder. She slumped back against the counter, caught by surprise by the early arrival. Her hands gripped the edges of the sink, holding on to every piece of calm she could.

She craned her neck to peek at the test, but her gaze was drawn away when the doors to the cabin hissed and heard armored talons rush in. With utmost haste, Alex snatched the stick from the counter and wrapped it in a thick wad of toilet paper and threw it in the trash bin. All before she could read the results.

"Alex? You in here?"

"Yeah, over here," she hollered.

Garrus rounded the corner, and his brow plates inched together when he saw how visibly flustered she was. "You okay?"

"Yeah." Alex nodded quickly and exhaled heavily. "I just thought we had more time."

He closed the distance and held her tightly in his arms. Alex felt a pang of guilt struck her in the chest. Yes, that was partly why she looked so upset, but she couldn't give him the real reason. Not right now. She pulled away enough to look up at him.

"I'm ready. Let's go."

Damn it. There's just no time.