I wish Mitsuzuri had picked a better place to discuss things. I mean sure despite not wanting to lie about my nature it did seem like a good idea to not advertise it as well. Still did we have to end up on the roof of an abandoned building? This reminds me way too much of the Tower of Tarturus. Still I explained things to Ayako like I did with the others. I told her of my nature as a Shadow, and of the Crawling Chaos interfering. Of my attempt to escape or force Tohsaka to accept her nature or else. Ayako frowned when I mentioned that, but she frowned even more when I told her of that path Tohsaka took. I told her of how Tohsaka and I were torn in two when Raphael had resurrected her for whatever he is planning. Of my doubt and uncertainty at that moment. Of what lead to the decision to warn Sakura of things.
I told her of the Avatar of Nyx, of what I new was a fact about the nature of Nyx, and what the Appraiser described her as. Of my fear that the the Crawling Chaos might be trying to use the supernatural potential amplification of Aoi's blood to use me to create a new Avatar. I even told her of our time. Of that hidden hour that would manifest when The Fall was eminent.
"Thanks for agreeing to hear me out," I said.
"Don't worry. Still this is..." Ayako said.
"Disturbing?" I asked.
"Yeah I mean. How does something like this even occur? I mean I knew she was obsessed with getting Sakura back, but that she was so scared of being a person instead of some ideal robot that she didn't realize the simple solution," Ayako said.
"I didn't either. I was expecting Sakura to kill me," I said.
"Yeah, but your a fragment of some kind of weird eldritch horror shaped by psychological issues, and given the power to act by the Soul and Messenger of the Outer Gods of all things. Who is apparently in this case the personification of the self destructive aspects of humanity. While the original you apparently didn't even remember the Vortex World. Why are you being the sensible one here?" Ayako said.
"I know. Like I said I yelled at her because I felt bad about the fact that I was trying to tear her down to make her face herself even though its what we do," I said.
"You know if you Shadows want us to accept you that seems kind of counter productive to me," Ayako said. I shook my head in negation.
"Having an ego and will is rare for us. Sure Shadow Selves can think unlike lesser Shadows, but we act on instinct in a sense, and it is the nature of the darker self to be something terrifying to the surface self. It's what you make us when you force so much fear of yourself on to us," I said, "When we can manifest the resolve to accept that is the only way to get us back under control."
"Anyway I want to see if I understood this. Let's say that hypothetically I had issues with being a girl instead of just not bringing it up much. I don't know maybe that I'm too girly to be a proper tomboy, and that I should be the later do to my martial arts hobby, or something like that. Shadow Ayako would manifest as a stereotypical girly girl who is way too far into said stereotype. Followed by trying to kill me if I freak out about it" Ayako said. I nodded in agreement.
"Good guess. Although while I'm not sure what issues if any you and Shadow Ayako have with each other I do know it isn't that. You wouldn't have invited me over where I could see what your room was like if so," I said.
"True. How does it work normally anyway?" Ayako said.
"The same way any other internal issues are worked out. We Shadows are a part of you after all," I said, "We don't call ourselves the true self just to look like some cliche anime antagonists."
"Kind of looks like it could be one. People's suppressed aspects growing into monsters from their fear of those parts of themselves. Which turn into a summoning magic power up if defeated. Apparently literal power of friendship magic instead of just having help beating up the enemy. Oh and a world ending eldritch horror that will be awoken or something by the collective death wish of humanity," Ayako said, "So what exactly is Nyx anyway? You said most sources are questionable so that means you know something."
I frowned for a moment as Ayako asked about Nyx. Sure it is true that I know stuff claimed about her that I didn't mention, but it is completely ridiculous.
"You do understand that I find this extremely implausible right?" I asked
"I want to hear it anyway," Ayako said.
"Fine. So apparently a really long time ago there was this extra dimensional alien being made of both matter and thought called the Star Eater. Who really long ago crashed into the Earth when life was still primative and sort of died. With its body becoming the Moon, or maybe just ending up inside it. Meanwhile the mind of the Star Eater now know as Nyx ended up on Earth, and was incompatible with existing primtive life. So primative life rapidly evolved as a result of attempting to resists this, and as a result of said evolution developed a collective subconcious to seal away the psyche of Nyx. With fragments of its mind becoming us Shadows, and life adapting to need us," I said.
This is completely ridiculous. First off even if this was somehow right how would anyone know and why didn't Nyx mention it when asked.
"Oh also allegedly gods and demons emerged as another defense mechanism against the mind of Nyx. Possibly caused by the Great Well you know that God running the multiverse. Which means that either the Star Eater thing or this has to be wrong. After all why would the combined mutliversal forces of Heaven and Hell be needed to deal with something that can end up injured by crashing into a planet," I said, "Also I know that the Moon in this timeline isn't an eldritch horror corpse. Yet the Crawling Chaos was able to wake me up."
"Actually it kind of makes some sense," Ayako said. I just stared at Ayako in confusion. How does this make sense?
"How?" I asked.
"I see two possibilities. The first is that this occurred before the conception cycle was a thing," Ayako said.
"The other?" I asked.
"Remember when you mentioned the dark hour?" Ayako asked. I nodded in response.
"Well you said you Shadow can mess with time, and we both know time can be altered. So the idea that there might be some time warping related to Nyx seems plausible. Like maybe if you Shadows awaken Nyx history alters so they had a backstory, or maybe when they were sealed away history altered to erase them but they survived and are trying to bring back their history," Ayako said.
On one hand she does have a point, and Sakura things the Avatar's almighty reflection is cheating. On the other I'm skeptical.
"Fine. Anyway so have you figured it out?" I asked.
"You mean whose friend I am, or if I am?" Ayako asked. Once again I nodded in response.
"Would the original you have told me this?" Ayako asked. I shook my head in disagreement.
"Despite how things turned out I did consider her my friend, but I can't really say I know her either. Actually I'm probably a lousy friend for not noticing the issues that led to you. Still I know enough about this whole conflict to know that even if she still has her memories there probably isn't anything left of her. You are a fragment of some weird eldritch horror, but your probably the only thing left of Rin as well. So if I am still friends with Rin I think this should be obvious," Ayako said.
I nodded in agreement as I smiled happily. I didn't screw this up. I still have my friend.
"Although can't the connection be fixed?" Ayako asked. I shook my head in negation.
"No. It's too late for that. In theory it is possible, but no. I would have been fine with simply bowing to her if she told me to obey. However as is even if the chance occurred I wouldn't be able to settle for anything less than becoming whole and complete. Of not just accepting that it what she fears is a part of her, but of reaching the resolve to be who you truly are even if the universe says you should not be," I said, "We both know that even if she could do that the stupid thief of an archangel would have gotten rid of that chance."
Ayako nodded in agreement. Soon after I ended up contemplating Tohsaka's rejection again, and despite having been her Shadow this whole situation made no sense. Sure she was obsessed with her obligations, but that included the one to look normal. So what made this whole living and being human thing so scary to her despite all the effort she put into that facade of normality?
"Something is bothering you isn't it?" Ayako asked.
"Ten years ago during that so called Holy Grail War Caster and their Master were kidnapping kids to use as human sacrifices to summon well stuff related to my creator. Yes the same ones Sakura had to deal with. I didn't know that at the time, but I did notice the dissapearances, and I figured out that it was connected to that conflict. After which kid me went to investigate this on her own and probably almost got eaten by some weird Cthulhu thing," I said.
"Okay I'll admit that seems like a horrible decision to make even if you have magic, but I'm not really sure why this would bother you. Well maybe kid you should have gotten help, but I doubt it's that," Ayako said.
"How did Tohsaka go from that to being scared of being a person? To being scared of having a heart? It makes no sense. What about her magus and Tokiomi obsession caused this?" I said.
Ayako then frowned for a moment, and seemed to be looking at me in confusion. I'm not really sure why.
"Rin, weren't you seven when this occurred?" Ayako asked
"Yes," I said.
"Didn't Tokiomi die a few days later as well?" Ayako asked.
"I don't think I understand," I said.
"I doubt he helped considering what Tohsaka became like, but well he died when you were seven, and I doubt kid you knew about what he was actually like. There also doesn't seem to be any actual required conflict between being a magi and being a human. So yeah it doesn't make any sense. The idea that he or being a magi caused the original you to reject her heart seems rather implausible to me. I mean if you ended up at an orphanage would you even remember the guy by now?" Ayako asked.
I frowned as I thought about what Ayako said. On one hand it made sense. On the other it made things more confusing. During this time I heard foot steps, and then a voice.
"She's right," the voice said.
Soon after I turned to look and saw a blond red eyed child. No it is true that their form is that of a kid, but considering the King of Heroes a child is probably unwise.
"I was planning on talking about this, but I knew you would end up discussing things with Ayako, and mom would probably get mad if I interrupted things. So I ended up waiting," Gilgamesh said.
"Then what?" I asked. . Hey if Gilgamesh is showing up to talk about my issues who am I to argue? Someone who isn't going to because they would rather not deal with an annoyed Gilgamesh that's who.
"Your nature is good. Well in your case honest is more accurate. However in term of nurture well you did better than your sister, but it was still far from ideal. Basically you can blame your parent's influence," Gilgamesh said. That doesn't make any sense.
"Ayako just said I didn't know what Tokiomi was like and I was taking care of a brain damaged Aoi. She couldn't have had any influence either," I said.
"Wait something here doesn't add up. Rin, who was raising you for the past ten years if your parents weren't able to?" Ayako said.
"Kirei Kotomine was my legal guardian, but they weren't one of Tohsaka's parents," I said.
"Well he wasn't your mother or father. However raising a child for most of their life. Being the one responsible for their upbringing. Even if not called it that kind of looks like a parent to me," Gilgamesh said.
"The kid has a point," Ayako said. Giglamesh nodded in agreement at Ayako's agreement. Well at least she'd probably safe.
"Unfortunately while he wanted to be a good person his nature was closer to your creator," Gilgamesh said.
"I want to see if I understand this correctly. You're saying Tohsaka's problems and as a result my own are because we were raised by a human version of the Crawling Chaos?" I asked.
It made sense and explained a lot. Still once again I found myself conflicted. I felt like I should be mad at them. I wanted to be angry. If what Gilgamesh said was true they were why I had so much trouble being a person. However as a Shadow the idea of wanting someone to go against their true nature didn't make any sense. Certainly you shouldn't stagnate, and simply not embracing it is fine. Still how can it be wrong to be who you are? To move close to being complete? To being whole?
"Yeah basically. Oh sure Tokiomi gave him something to work with, but the guy is a jerk by nature. I don't need my vision to know he would have set you on the path to self destruction," Gilgamesh said, "Basically I kind of owe you an apology. After all it is kind of my fault that Kotomine realized his nature. No its more accurate to say I'm why they started to embrace it instead of struggling against it."
However while Gilgamesh spoke the conflict faded as a realization occurred, and all that was left was contempt. As a Shadow I can't fault him for his nature. However the mockery of the bonds that he knowingly and willingly developed. That he would dare twist them into a weapon against us. As a being of the collective unconscious. As one who floats upon the Sea of Souls. I could have nothing but contempt for that.
"No! I'm not going to accept that," I said, "You did nothing wrong. He broke those bonds. All you did was reveal the true self."
"I see. I should. I want. To you those are secondary to I am. The self held back only by their self made chains and yet embracing their own self made chains," Gilgamesh said, "Sounds like a good way to live to me. Well the fact that I think adult me might consider it something they could respect kind of scares me. Yet it feels so right."
"Out of curiosity what if Tokiomi lived?" I asked.
"Well if you ran away from home on some kind of magical detective adventure or something you might have been fine. Otherwise its a coin flip between being opposed to the inhumanity his ideals required and leaving the path of the magus, or becoming what the one you call Tohsaka tried so hard to be," Gilgamesh said, "Either way it would have gone far from ideally."
"Why are you giving me this help and apologizing anyway? I mean sure your the nicer Gilgamesh, but still," I said.
"Blame me or not the fact that I hold some responsibility for this doesn't change. I don't want to be like that older jerk me, but the very fact that you're here on the surface instead of buried like roots supporting her growth is sickening. That your here and don't intent to leave doesn't bother me. I don't dislike that your well how you are. Yet the fact that you had to even make that decision," Gilgamesh said.
"It's just wrong I know. I like this whole living thing, but the fact that she was so scared of it that I'm here is just wrong," I said.
"Does this really bother you that much?" Ayako asked.
"Yes. I am a Shadow," I said.
"A king that can't admit their mistakes is hardly worthy of the title," Gilgamesh said.
"You want something don't you," I said.
"Okay you caught me. I did want to apologize and explain things, but I do have another reason for being here as well," Gilgamesh said.
"What?" I asked.
"I want access to your world," Gilgamesh
"Shouldn't you have a way to do that?" I asked.
"Probably, but the Gate has a lot of stuff in it, and I'm not sure where to look," Gilgamesh said, "However I can just ask you. In exchange I have a letter to help with your issue with those fairies."
"Wait what issue does Rin have with them?" Ayako asked.
"Her human self kind of got them mad when she as investigating the forest and Sakura forgot they want an apology for 'trespassing on their domain' and 'not respecting their sovereign right'. Yet while the current Rin doesn't care about either their domain or the Tohsaka obligations that doesn't change that she had them. Plus if accidentally trespassing is such an issue she's hardly the only one at fault. I mean I don't recall saying they could set up their domain in my garden," Gilgamesh said, "So a pardon for a pardon."
"Well they killed Kotomine so I'm willing to apologize for offending them, but otherwise for once I don't think Tohsaka did anything wrong. So I see no reason to atone. However fine. Sakura is trying to get along with me so I might as well try not to annoy her friends," I said, "Although if you want something from that side I doubt I'll be in the condition to accept the letter."
"I can take it to hold on to until this is done. I'll admit I'm curious about your world, but it's getting late as well. However I can stop by Luvia's later, or you can visit my place. Well assuming Taiga doesn't have you going back to school yet," Ayako said.
Gilgamesh and I both nodded in agreement. After which he gave Ayako the letter. Soon after we said out good byes, and Ayako left. I then took a moment to focus on opening a path to the collective unconscious. To the world of shadows. A moment later and the world seemed to shift, or rather the two of us shifted to another layer of the world. The area still looked like Fuyuki, but in the distance I couldn't see any people anymore. I could however see lesser Shadows. Fortunately they seemed far enough away to not bother us.
Soon after I felt as if some unseen force was shaking the world around us. No. The intensity is more than it should be, but I recognize this. It feel like a Shadow Self trying to manifest. Yet for one to have this kind of effect. How? Oh right the King of Heroes is here. That was a dumb question.
"Your Shadow Self is manifesting," I said. Gilgamesh shook his head in negation.
"If you are me you know this is pointless. I don't like that I might end up like that, but I am the King of Heroes. Adult me said it himself 'All the world' evil. You'll need three times that much to corrupt me'. Doubt sure. Dislike sure. Fear of my nature? I am Gilgamesh," GIlgamesh said.
At that the world seems to become stable. Soon after I could hear a sound like glass shattering. A sound I knew very well from my nature. I couldn't help but smile as I saw the wind that glowed with that most sacred blue light flow from Gilgamesh. It didn't look any different from what I excepted. Yet at the same time it felt like a hurricane was going though the area as well. I see. So this is the will of the one who created the concept of Heroic Spirits.
"A journey? Unneeded. Infinite possibility? Irrelevant. Their is only one worthy of truly standing by the king's side," Gilgamesh said.
As Gilgamesh spoke the world once again seemed to shake. It was as if a path was being torn to a deeper layer of the collective unconscious simply because they willed it. Which is probably what was occurring. To do something like this. What even is he? Soon after the world became stable as a being took form behind Gilgamesh emerging form that blue wind that blows from the depths of the soul. An androgynous human looking being with long green hair wearing a plain white tunic. I could only watch in awe as they took form. Nothing was explained. Yet I knew what I was seeing. Gilgamesh had skipped right to summoning an Ultimate Persona, or perhaps their Initial and Ultimate Persona were one and the same. I understood the answer to my unasked question. This is one who was complete. This is one who was whole. As this occurred the Persona spoke.
"Thou art I, I art thou. From the sea of they soul I come. I am Enkidu. Thou human let us bind the gods," Enkidu said.
As Enkidu spoke Gilgamesh smiled brightly. Almost enough that for a moment I felt like I might forget who this is. Then a moment later and the awe faded as the child King of Heroes turned around and tackled their Persona to the ground. Followed by hugging them tightly. Huh I didn't know you could do that with a Persona.
"Enkidu, I missed you so much," Gilgamesh said, still hugging Enkidu.
Wait can other people do that with a Persona or do you need an ego as dense as Gilgamesh? Still maybe they actually are something that can be considered a kid. Also apparently Enkidu can talk outside of the manifestation. Well I suppose it has happened before like with Zeus.
"Gilgamesh, are you sure we even met yet? Also should you have really used this to summon me?" Enkidu said.
"Don't know. Don't care," Gilgamesh said.
Gilgamesh then went to stand. Followed by helping Enkidu get up from the floor as well. Soon after the child King of Heroes turned to look at me. At the same time I felt another presence start to form. A presence that's attention seemed focused on me.
"That was sooner than I expected of her. Good luck Rin. I'm sure you can handle things," Gilgamesh said.
As this occurred I realized I overlooked something about considering Gilgamesh a kid. Kids are jerks. A moment later and the area seemed to transform from a mirror image of Fuyuki to something else. We stood in a desert before some kind of ancient temple. I then scowled as I felt the presence try to invade me. The aura of darkness of a Shadow flared up around me as the force of this presence tried to break into me. It felt as though something was trying to shatter my soul. To reforge it.
I could feel thoughts that were not my own flow into my mind, and then I understood. I am Ishtar, Queen of Heaven, Goddess of Uruk. I dissolved myself into the world when Enkidu died. I had turned myself into a curse that would restore me to existence if those two met again so that I could give the world my blessing and protection. A compatible vessel was available. A place where I could take form was available. The human Tohasaka and myself were one and the same. Even before we became one her soul was like the image of my spirit. Our natures were at one. To receive the full spirit of Ishtar instead of only grasping an echo. Surely she felt...
Hate. I felt hate. Nothing but hate. I knew their was some truth to those thoughts. The one who descended to the underworld by her own arrogance. Who was sentenced to death by her sisters judgement. Who gained life again by the judgement of that same sister. One with the arrogance to be who you are even if the cosmos says no. I can even forgive that they would think of me as human or as Tohsaka. However this curse that would dare seek to invade me. That would have the audacity to try to overwrite my very being. The unforgivable crime of attempting to forcibly reforge my true self. It made that all irrelevant.
"I am a Shadow the true self," I said.
Even as I spoke I still felt the sheer force of the invading presence distorting my being. My will pushed back against it, but I felt my mind being suppressed and subsumed once again. My will wasn't strong enough. Their was too much doubt and uncertainty. I am Ishtar. I need to stop Gilgamesh and Enkidu. I need to... you need to get out of my head and die you stupid curse.
There was hatred as well. Hatred that burned enough to ignite a spark of resolve. I don't intend to hide from my nature, but I won't lie and pretend that it doesn't scare me. However I'm too weak as is to continue resisting the attempt of this thing. Unlike Sakura I don't care about choice. The human Rin Tohsaka was a natural follower, and I might be the same. As long as it doesn't go against who I truly am following the will of another doesn't bother me. Isn't accepting Sakura's will why I didn't rush off to attack that stupid thief of an archangel? Yet to allow my true self to be forcibly reforged into not me. That I can not allow. No matter how much my darker self scares me. No matter the uncertainty and doubt.
So I let my hate burn with as much force as I can imagine to provide more fuel for my resolve. Yet resolve alone was not enough. So I reached deeper into the Sea of my Soul. As deep as I could to draw out as much of myself as I could. Far too deep. Probably deeper than I should have. There at the depths of my soul I found another presence that felt at though it would overwhelm me. Yet this time it felt so right. I found completion. I found purpose. I found our mother. I found the truth of myself. We still lacked the power needed. Yet we spoke all the same. I was at one with myself.
"The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate. Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yes, the Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Attaining one's dream requires a stern will and unfailing determination," Nyx and I said. If there was even a distinction.
The force of our/my psyche began to tear though this thing that believed it could chain us. A mere remnant of a will. Not even one of the collective wills or one who found The Answer. Certainly I still felt Rin fade as I/she was overwhelmed by Nyx/myself.
"The Acana is the means by which all is revealed. The silent voice within one's heart whispers the most profound wisdom," we said.
However what as wrong with that? Didn't I make the decision to let my heart guide me? Why should I change that now? This isn't some curse or parasite. Shadows are fragments of Nyx, or perhaps Nyx is a gestalt of Shadows. I am a Shadow. Therefore I am Nyx. Why run and hide from that?
"Gilgamesh, should we do something?" Enkidu asked. The question of support was appreciated but unneeded.
"She's fine. Well not that fragment of Ishtar, but I assume you didn't mean her," Gilgamesh said. That statement of the King of Heroes was true.
As our will tore though the presence that dared defile our true self we continued to speak. A quote for each Arcana. As we spoke the world around us began to transform again. The temple shattered, but the desert remained. It reminded us of the Abyss of Time where they who stood against us had learned the truth of us. However as the curse was left crumbling I began to understand.
"The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate. Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yet, the Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are... Death awaits you," we said.
The Fool's Journey doesn't end at Death. It is not time for The Fall even if that impatient jerk Erebus might say otherwise. We/Nyx are/is content to wait. It doesn't bother us to remain in slumber until life wishes for its journey to end. After all even though they can not survive our restoration doesn't mean we have ill will towards them. Unfair? Probably, but all we can do is wait. Yet as I contemplated this I understood the truth once again. The completion I felt was false. As a Shadow it is true that I am a part of Nyx, and I probably reached deep enough to grasp the role of the Appraiser. No I almost certainly took up the role of the Avatar. I can not reject that. However although I am a Shadow there is a part of me that is human. A part of me that is Rin. To reject that is equally unthinkable. Why should I deny either aspect? Why must their be a conflict? Why should I not become whole? Why should I not become complete? Rin/I spoke in response to Nyx/Myself. It was not a rejection of their message about the Arcana, but a continuation.
"The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Death is not a hunter unbeknownst to its prey. One is always aware that it lies in wait. Though life is merely a journey to the grave, it must not be undertaken without hope," I said.
The Temperance the fourteenth Arcana. The unity of opposites. Death is the end. Yet Life and Death stand side by side. Soon I remembered another memory that was not mine, or at least not Rin's. The words of my creator of the Crawling Chaos. They were certainly meant to break me, but Nyarlathotep failed once again.
"The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Only then will a traveler's story live on, treasures by those who bid him farewell," I said.
The Devil the fifteenth Arcana. The card of instinctive impulse and bonds. No relation to Sakura's father. He's called for though the Star and Judgement Arcana. Why do we need to reclaim our old form? Shadows can be in two places at once. That humans don't die from summoning a Persona is proof of that. Collective wills don't need to extinguish the life they are formed from. So why should we need that? Our Arcana is Death the card of change. Why can't we change to a form more compatible with life? It worked for Izanami. Why not complete the Journey?
"The Arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Understand that there is no point in living. Cry, that there is no answer! Where there is darkness, there are Shadows," I said.
The words of the Crawling Chaos. Fitting for The Tower the sixteenth Arcana. The card of doom and destruction that rarely has a positive meaning. The cursed presence that defiled us had already been destroyed. All that that remains is the debate between Rin/I and Nyx/myself. Yet I find my self too exhausted to continue. I need one more Arcana. To end the message on this card would be the worst. Yet a moment later I felt a reassuring presence and heard a thought that was both mine and not my own. A response from Nyx to Rin.
"Thou art I, I art thou. From the Sea of Souls we come. I am Nyx who bestowed Death and Darkness upon the world. To understand fate and yet to struggle against it with all your will. Can the Fall be averted, or is it too late? What is the answer?" the thought said.
I closed my eyes for a moment as I suppressed the aura of darkness. I won't give up being me, but I'm fine with being The Appraiser, and I see no issues with being Nyx. Rin and Nyx are both me after all. The part of me that is Rin is not yet ready to hold the full weight of her mind. To become whole and complete as the two of us become one. Not unwilling, but not yet able. However I'm not going to let the Journey remain unfinished. I have no need for the form of the 'Star Eater'. I don't intend to let myself fade or destroy all life to recover myself either. I'll walk the journey to becoming Nyx, but a Nyx reborn into a form that can exist with the world. It's probably arrogant to thing I can do this, but I'm sure Sakura can kill me before it is too late if I fail. I then opened my eyes to glare at Gilgamesh.
"You are a jerk," I said.
"You needed more of your power sooner, and it was obvious you wouldn't lose to her," Gilgamesh said, "Still interesting choice. To attempt to defeat the one who can not be defeated by becoming them and changing yourself. I wonder if you'll reach that state in time. Although isn't that a contradiction?"
"No. The true self isn't some stagnant unchanging thing," I said.
Soon after we departed the collective unconscious, and returned to the roof of that abandoned building. Soon after Gilgamesh seemed to be staring in confusion.
"Wait. Where is the twenty fifth hour? Didn't you develop enough for that?" Gilgamesh asked.
"I think so. I don't have enough power to merge my mind with that of Nyx yet, but I am The Appraiser. However I didn't see any reason to manifest the
dark hour. I don't intent to cause The Fall. So it isn't needed," I said.
"I guess an hour where only the supernatural can act would probably make a huge mess of things. Anyway this was fun, and I got Enkidu back, but I should probably go now," GIlgamesh said.
Soon after we said good bye and I was left with a problem. How do I explain having to become Nyx to Luvia because of Gilgamesh without the two trying to kill each other? Also I am going to be so embarassed if I find out that that whole Star Eater nonsense was actually true if or when I get Nyx's memories.
Thanks to Cubia from Spacebattles for writing this!