Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Rewritten: March 20th, 2020 – May 4th, 2020.

Chapter 22 | Twenty-two | Everything to Lose

Immediately following Sound's invasion and retreat, Konoha's higher-ups go into overdrive to deal with the aftermath. Hiruzen is ushered back into his Kage garb and Sakura sees a masked figure who carries himself suspiciously like Yamato start to put the Hokage Tower back together. Sakura walks around, making sure no one is injured. She found Kakashi and Naruto together, running around, making sure everyone's okay. She found Suzume, Shigure, and Izumi running the perimeter. She found Sasuke in the hospital, with Fugaku waiting for him to wake up. She very briefly wondered where Itachi was, but she figured he got called away on business. She suppressed the small, self-conscious side of her that wondered if he just doesn't feel the same as he used to. Pushing the pessimistic thoughts aside, she told herself that she knows he loves her and that she has to trust him, even if he doesn't always trust her.

It's only when she's heading back to her apartment that she and Shisui are approached by Mebuki and Kizashi, who look frantic.

"Shisui-kun," Kizashi starts, "Have you seen Sakura? We can't find her anywhere."

Shisui shakes his head, but he immediately turns to look at the girl beside him. He knows that Sakura watches over her parents from afar, but she probably hasn't seen them this up close. She tries to keep a distance since they might be able to tell that she's their daughter – or because she's scared that they won't recognize her. She keeps her face emotionless, but he can tell that she's affected.

When her parents look at her, they bow a little, having heard about her. Everyone speaks highly about the great Hikari. Mebuki looks at her curiously, like the blonde looks like someone she knows, like she knows her but she doesn't know how she knows her.

"I'll look around for her," Shisui says, "She's probably with Ino."

Kizashi shakes his head, tears brimming his eyes. "Ino-chan hasn't seen her either."

"When did you last see her?" Sakura decides to speak up. Shisui notices that she's speaking with a lower voice than normal, probably so that her parents don't recognize it.

"When the Sound-nin started retreating. She was right behind us, but then she disappeared."

Shisui immediately looked at Sakura, worry marring his features.

Sakura gives them a small smile, trying her best to let the smile reach her eyes despite her anxiousness, as she takes one of her mom's hands and one of her dad's hands in hers to try and alleviate their worries.

"We'll find her. I'm sure she's okay," Sakura tells them.

She doesn't want her parents to worry – she's never wanted them to worry about her. She can remember how relieved they were when she started studying under Tsunade. A medic is rarely ever at the frontlines of the battle and usually very well protected, but during the war, they realized that she wasn't the type to just stand aside, and even though they know that she can handle herself, parents are parents and they'll always be worried for their babies.

After tracking down Hana to her veterinary clinic and Kakashi at his apartment, they begin tracking Little Sakura. When the search leads them to the North gate, Sakura sends a clone to notify Hiruzen before they all sneak out of the gate. Both Kakashi and Hana sense her not that far away, but it's strangely suspicious by how she hasn't moved in the 30 minutes they've traveled so far.

Sakura knows immediately when they're almost there because of the familiar light-headedness she experiences whenever her past self is near.

"She's not alone," Kakashi tells them as they get closer and closer to the clearing.

"Hikari, stay back," Shisui orders, "Hana, stay with her."

Hana grabs onto Sakura's elbow when Sakura doesn't stop. She doesn't miss the look of appreciation Shisui sends her. Sakura and Hana stay in place as Kakashi and Shisui move so fast that they just blur into colored streaks.

"They'll be okay," Hana says to her, reading the look on Sakura's face. She can't help but think that Sakura looks worried.

"I know," Sakura whispers in response. If anything happens to her past self, she's sure she'd disappear too. When waiting around becomes not enough, Sakura tells Hana, "Let's go closer. I need to know what's happening."

"Shisui told us to wait here though..."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "C'mon."

Hana has been a little suspicious over the past few years. Whenever Shisui would hang out with Little Sakura, Hikari would never be around, but the way that Shisui looked at the younger girl was similar to how he looked at Hikari. She's not sure why he doesn't want Hikari involved in this battle, but it can't be all that bad, right?

Closing the distance between them and where Hana can feel the younger girl's chakra, Sakura tries not to show how she's affected by the proximity. She watches as Kakashi and Kabuto face each other while Shisui is at the side, looking like he's trying to heal his young pink-haired friend with the basic healing jutsu Sakura drilled into him.

Sending chakra into the ground towards her younger self, she tries to diagnose the girl from afar, but to her surprise, her chakra gets absorbed into the girl. Shisui looks up and looks in her direction, shock written all over his features, and looking irritated that she didn't listen to him and keep her distance. Lifting the girl in his arms, he says to Kakashi, "I'm taking her back to Tsunade-sama," he says, "Hikari will back you up."

Shisui nods as he takes off. "Hana, come with me," he says as he passes the girls. Sakura tries not to let the lightheadedness affect her. Because of how fast Shisui is, Sakura feels better by the time she sees Kabuto try to trap Kakashi in a forbidden jutsu she recognizes from when she ran out of things to read at the library, snuck into, and hid in the archives overnight. (She later found out that she was caught and Tsunade was notified but she decided to let Sakura be.)

Rushing forward to pull Kakashi away from the entrapment seals Kabuto had been etching into the ground with poison and the rapidly forming black cloud, Sakura stands in front of him protectively as she forms the signs for Wood Release: Domed Wall Jutsu. As the roots shoot upwards to create a protective dome around them, Kakashi stares at her in surprise.

Staying focused, Sakura tries not to pay him any attention as they listen to the poison rain patter against the wood and hiss as it burns the wood away. This is the first time she has used this in public and in battle. She first started teaching herself Wood Release years ago, after deciding that her healing means nothing if she can't protect people and figuring that having an extra hand around to help in case Naruto goes too far wouldn't hurt. She already knew Earth Release and Water Release, the two nature prerequisites for Wood Release. She had been trying to speed up her jutsu release recently and she's grateful that that training has paid off.

Kakashi moves away from a drop that gets through, but watches as the purple drop of liquid hits the sparse grass and doesn't affect it at all. The wooden barrier around them melts away as the poison rain continues to hit it, but he and Sakura can tell that Kabuto is struggling to keep the jutsu going long enough to actually harm them.

As his rain slows to a stop and her remaining barrier collapses around them, Kabuto raises an eyebrow. He watches as some poison falls on them, but doesn't affect them.

"Wood release with poison extraction...interesting," Kabuto says as his surprise turns into an impressed smirk. "I surrender." He raises his two arms in a pacifying motion. He knows there was no way he could've won against Shisui of the Body Flicker and Kakashi of the Sharingan without leverage, but that wasn't his purpose. He now has solid proof that Haruno Sakura, the little pink-haired teammate of Sasuke, is the same as this grown-up blonde-haired woman.

He has a theory, but no solid proof of time-traveling jutsu; however, she would definitely be an asset to any side she's on, willing or not. He has seen her ties with the Uchiha Clan and now he has seen what is possibly just a glimpse of her abilities as a healer and a Wood Release user. Judging by Kakashi's reaction, it doesn't appear that she has the kekkei genkai for Wood Release, but rather likely is self-taught. Using Domed Wall Jutsu along with her healing chakra to purify the acidic rain is something that Kabuto never thought anyone would ever think of, much less use against him. He knows what Orochimaru is going to say when he brings this information back.

Sakura is deeply disturbed when Kabuto all but melts into slime in front of her. After doublechecking that he has actually left, she finally lets her guard down. As darkness creeps into her vision, she turns towards Kakashi, knowing that she used too much of her chakra despite not being fully recovered from being around her miniature self. "Kakashi-sensei..." she whispers before she collapses against him and he catches her in his arms, one of which had been injured before in his battle with Kabuto, but he realizes now that Sakura had healed it without him realizing. He's not sure how she did it, but he makes a mental note to ask Sakura about it after.

~:~

She expected to wake up with beautifully lashed obsidian eyes on her, but she finds out she has no such luck. Though, she can't complain since Naruto's bright blue eyes are much more refreshing to look at. For a second, she thinks she's back in her time, but when he says, "Hikari-nee-chan, you're finally awake," that dream is gone. It seems that no matter how much time has passed, she'll still miss her life. He helps her sit up and she leans against the cushioned headboard of her bed. Kakashi knew to bring her home instead of to the hospital, where Little Sakura is sure to be.

"How long have I been out?"

"Almost a whole day," Naruto exclaims, "I heard from Kakashi-sensei that you were in an epic battle with Kabuto?! Why did you bring me along? I want to see you in action too." He pouts cutely.

"I do all of this so you don't have to, Naruto," she says as she smiles at him, but he just scowls, "If you really want to come with me, I'll put in a request..." She trails off as he smiles in excitement, as she had expected. "...When you master Lightning Release."

"Hikari-nee-chan!" He protests, "That'll take forever!" He pouts again. "Jiraiya-sama is mainly focusing on teaching me to better control my chakra."

Sakura smiles knowingly as she lifts her hand to pet his unruly hair. "Naruto, I told you that you'll be the best shinobi ever, remember? I know you can do it, but you have to put in the work. Jiraiya-sama is the best teacher for you, so just have patience, okay?"

Naruto mumbles something in response, but she doesn't catch it. When she raises her eyebrow at him, he simply flashes her his award-winning smile and all is forgotten.

"Where is Shisui?" She asks as retracts her hand.

"He went out to buy food," Naruto responds, "I forced him to go since he wouldn't leave your side unless I did something drastic."

"What did you do?"

He tosses his arms behind his head in his trademark lazy pose. "I told him that you'd hate him if I starved to death on his watch."

"Well, you're not wrong."

He laughs cheekily the only way Uzumaki Naruto can. "Kakashi-sensei requested for you to speak to him when you wake up."

"Alright," she responds unenthusiastically. She knows Kakashi's going to grill her with questions. She supposes she did leave out a lot when she told him about Team 7, like her own capabilities and how he could help her mini-me advance. She hopes that maybe he'll pay more attention to Little Sakura now that he knows what she's capable of. "Is Sasuke out of the hospital yet?"

Naruto shakes his head. "I haven't seen him yet, but I heard from Kakashi-sensei that his father and Itachi-san haven't left his side. He's probably going crazy right now..."

At that, Sakura finds that she isn't that surprised. She had always known that Sasuke comes first to Itachi, and it's fine - she's glad that Sasuke is his most precious person. She chastises herself for always getting her own hopes up. She reminds herself to not expect too much from Itachi. He's Sasuke's brother, first and foremost, and then he's a Konoha shinobi. In the totem pole that is his priorities, she's not at the bottom, but she's also not at the top, which stings a little, but she tells herself that this is just how it's supposed to be for people like them. This is why shinobi are taught to leave their emotions behind.

She reminds herself to kill the hopeless romantic in herself. She's a shinobi. There are rarely any happily ever afters in their line of work – and she had known that she wouldn't get hers from the moment Sasuke knocked her out and left her on the bench the night he left Konoha. She hadn't expected to fall in love with Itachi, but considering the circumstances, she knows they're not going to have a happy ending either.

When Naruto asks her if she would like a glass of water, she barely registers that he asked her a question, but after he repeats it and she shakes her head, he tells her to get more rest and that he's going to visit Sasuke and his teammate Sakura in the hospital before coming back for dinner. He confirms that she's okay before he leaves.

She sits there in silence for a few moments, looking around her room, making a mental checklist of things she needs to do, before deciding she needs to take a bath. Lifting the blanket off of her lower body, she swings her legs over the edge of her bed. When she gets up, the lightheadedness attacks her again and her legs give out under her. To her surprise, Shisui appears at her side and catches her.

"Where'd the brat go?" Shisui asks, seemingly cranky, "He's supposed to at your beck and call."

Sakura laughs a little as Shisui helps her sit down on her bed again. "We didn't take the boy in just so he could be our slave, Sushi," she says, earning herself a scowl on Shisui's face. When she laughs again, he stops scowling. He sits down on her vanity seat that they had pulled up beside her bed while waiting for her to wake up.

"Slept too long?" He asks, "Or should I take you to the hospital? We can make sure you're on a high VIP floor, far, far, far away from Little Sakura."

She looks at him incredulously. "You do remember that I am a medic, right?"

"Of course, but what medic gets up from bed after a whole day of rest and nearly breaks her face?"

"I did not almost break my face."

"Okay, okay, whatever you say," he says, defeatedly and looking away from her before looking back to her and giving her a smile. She knows he likes bickering with her and he knows it makes her smile. "So are you okay? Kakashi-san nearly gave me a heart attack when I came back from the hospital. You really have to stop going all out on your chakra."

He wouldn't tell her how worried he was. He wondered if it would have been any different if he had just told Kakashi to take Little Sakura back and he stayed to fight instead, but he figures if Kakashi needed her help, he probably would have needed her too and it would have ended the same way. He hated leaving her behind, but he knew she'd be okay. She and Kakashi are both strong – and he knows how Sakura hates being protected.

"I know, I know," she says, "I pushed myself too hard. I'm sorry I worried you."

He scoffs before saying, "Please, me? Worried? Unheard of." He laughs before he says, "I knew you'd be okay," sincerely.

"Have you seen Sasuke or my mini-me?"

He shakes his head. "Both of them are okay though. When I brought mini-you to the hospital, they said she was knocked out with a very strong drug of some sort – the same drug that they used on Sasuke. Izumi told me that they'll be kept another day for monitoring because of their age and the strength of the drug." He sighs. "Who does this to kids...?" He mumbles.

Sakura offers him a small smile. "You were in ANBU by the time you were their age."

He looks away for a brief moment before looking back at her. "So are you okay? You didn't answer me."

She nods. "Oh sorry, forgot. It was just orthostatic hypotension." She gets ready to stand up again and Shisui is immediately at her side, ready to help her if she needs it. She rolls her eyes at this, but she's appreciative anyway as she stands up slowly.

At that, he stands up straight and rolls his eyes before saying, "Oh okay, pull out your gibberish, why don't you?" He laughs infectiously before saying, "You could have made those words up and I wouldn't even know."

"Orthostatic hypotension is when you get low blood pressure from getting up too fast," she explains.

He just nods as she explains it to him. "Do you want to eat first or take a bath?"

A small laugh escapes her. "You weren't listening to my explanation at all, were you?"

He shakes his head. "Next time, just say you got up too fast. Don't you dumb things down for the rest of us plebeians all the time at the hospital?"

"Well excuse me for wanting more for you." She laughs again before saying, "Naruto said he'll come back for dinner, so I'll just bathe first." She steps towards her dresser to pull out a new set of clothing. She laments that she's going to have to do laundry again now that her bedsheets are dirty. She briefly ponders if Kakashi should have brought her to the hospital after all.

"Alright, I'll be in the living room. Holler if you need me." He starts making his way to the door.

"Ladies don't holler, Sushi."

"There's a lady here?" He chuckles as he catches the hairbrush she threw at him and places it on her vanity table before closing her bedroom door behind him.

~:~

After dinner, Itachi drops down to Sakura's window from the roof of their apartment complex, shaking Sakura out of her dazed reverie. Maybe he just heard what happened, she tells herself, but she's also quite surprised he actually showed up.

Even before all this happened, she had been trying to convince herself that he left for his mission again, but deep down, she knew that he was in the village the whole time. She's not sure why he never visited her or sought her out since it's not like he doesn't know the five places she could be if she weren't home. Sasuke never mentioned that he was staying at home, so she's not sure where he was, but she knows he was in the village.

She wonders what happened to their relationship. They were doing so well before he left – and she's the girl that stayed loyal to Sasuke despite the three years they were separated, so what's one year? She knows her feelings for Itachi are still the same, but for some reason, she just feels like this is too difficult for her. Maybe it's because of the mission, maybe it's because he still doesn't trust her judgment, maybe it's because he's not Sasuke and she's not the girl she used to be. If she grew out of her feelings for Sasuke, who's to say she can't do the same for Itachi?

"Are you okay?" He asks as he places a gentle hand on her blanket-covered knee. Both Shisui and Naruto had forced her back to bed after dinner like she needs more rest.

She nods slowly.

He lets out a sigh. "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"It's okay." She looks at his hand on her knee.

Maybe it's the way she said those two words, maybe it's the fact that she didn't smile as soon as she saw him like she usually does, or maybe it's because he feels the same way. Maybe he also knows it's not working out after all. The atmosphere between them changes drastically within a second and he reluctantly brings his hand back to his side when it suddenly feels inappropriate and uncomfortable for him to touch her, even over the thick winter blanket that Shisui had given her when they first moved in, knowing she's perpetually cold.

It's silent for a moment before Itachi finally speaks up. "I...don't want to lose you, Sakura." For another moment, when she doesn't respond, he continues, "But it's not fair for you to wait for me. I volunteered for this mission so this is on me."

She finally looks up at him. "It's not...It's not the waiting that's doing this," she mumbles before clearing her throat and saying, "I can handle the waiting." She averts her eyes again and turns away from him. She takes a deep breath, suddenly feeling like she's breaking bad news to a family who just lost a loved one. He and his family have done so much for her and she's not sure how this will affect her relationship with his loved ones, but if he's not coming home because of her or if he's deliberately staying away from her, their relationship is clearly no longer mutual. Maybe she's breaking bad news to herself.

"Do you even know how much time had passed since I last saw you before the ambush?" She pauses for a second and waits for him to attempt to answer her, and when he doesn't, she continues, "34 days."

He doesn't make a sound, but Sakura knows he's listening.

"I tried to make excuses for why you weren't around. I tried to tell myself that you left for your mission and didn't have time to say bye before you left. I tried to tell myself that you were just busy, that you wanted to spend time with family. I tried to make up so many excuses for 34 days, but..." Her hands grip the blanket covering her legs tightly, from anger, sadness, and frustration. "I don't think I should have to do that if you still wanted me in your life."

Her words cut him visibly, but she doesn't see it. He opens his mouth to protest but closes it before he says anything. He stays silent. This is what's best for them anyway, he tells himself.

He heard Naruto tell Sasuke what happened but didn't want to disturb their dinner that made him feel less than. He didn't want to disturb this place that has no space for him – this small, broken family that Sakura has created for herself. He had rushed over here and he had waited until she was alone to reveal himself, but it isn't enough. He's not the one who's always there.

She takes his silence as confirmation. "If it was because you felt guilty for being away, I think you would've known to spend more time with me when you were back, so can I just ask..." She takes a deep breath but her voice is but a whisper when she asks the one-worded question, "...Why?" Like she doesn't really want to ask and like she's afraid of the answer. Despite the feelings of dread and trepidation, she turns to look at him again, willing herself to look brave.

He maintains eye contact with her for a few moments before looking away, giving Sakura her answer. He's only ever looked away when he was shy or worried his eyes would tell her too much. His eyes used to always be on her otherwise.

And somehow, she just knows there's someone else. It wasn't the way he looked at her, it was the way he didn't. He doesn't feel the same anymore, she finally admits to herself.

"Who...?" She whispers, suddenly feeling like a child. "Never mind." She takes a deep breath again and he knows she's trying not to cry. "Please get out."

"Thank you, Sakura," he says as he looks back at her. "...And I'm sorry for everything," is all he says before he leaves through the window again.

On the other side, he crouches on the side of her window sill, hidden from view. When she lets out a laugh, he looks down, knowing this is all his fault, knowing that she's going to start crying, and trying his best to prepare himself for what's to come. When her laughing turns into sobbing, he uses all the willpower in him not to go back into her room, scoop her into his arms, and hold her, but he stays outside because this is his punishment. He accepted a mission because he was the best one for the job, because he wanted to help her with her mission even a little bit, but everything he does on the mission would just let her down and hurt her.

If she knew all the things he's had to do, she could never love him ever again anyway. It's better this way. She'll be hurt now, but she's strong. She'll move on, even if he never does. He knows he never could. After her, no one would ever measure up and no one would ever be enough.