Chapter 25: The Circle

Raven walked, and walked and walked some more. She didn't get tired, or sleepy, thirsty or cold. She just wandered, for what it seemed like weeks. Months? Years? Time did not pass here. She found herself stuck on an eternal night. The clear night sky, the constant moon and the stars in the sky mocked her. Raven trailed down the winding path across the woods. Every so often the path would fork, or end abruptly so she had to turn around and walk the other way. She walked aimlessly, purposeless, in circles, towards nothing in particular. She became a lost ghost. Lost in the woods, lost in her own sadness, in her own anger.

When she first woke up here she immediately tried to go back. She pinched herself purple trying to wake up. The world didn't stop - she had to get back home. Raven had to go back and find Jesus. Raven had to see it with her own eyes what her actions had done. Something inside her knew he had died. This was a time to mourn with Lafayette and Holly. She hoped with every ounce of her soul that they would forgive her for his death. But Raven soon discovered she couldn't wake up. But no matter what she did, she was stuck here.

Despair crept in. The loneliness. The silence. Raven had to find something within herself to hold on to. She chose Eric. Raven tortured herself by believing Eric would appear in her dreams. Despite knowing what happened, knowing their blood bond had broken again, she felt him so strongly in her heart Raven knew she would see him in the woods. She longed so much for him, that she would will him into existence into her personal purgatory. They would walk together again. She would look at his blue eyes again. He would try to ask for forgiveness and she would kiss the words right off his lips. There was nothing to forgive, she would tell him. Then she would be in his arms.

But he never came.

No one did.

So much time passed, this place started to get under her skin. The absolute silence, the constant darkness, the same winding paths, the same fucking trees. The same cold feeling under her feet. The dream, as she realized, was a nightmare. Raven was so fucking angry at herself. She was so fucking angry at death. Was this really all there was?! Just fucking trees? And paths that led to nowhere?! What was the fucking point? Was this some kind of fucking test? Some kind of sick joke? All her sorrow and pain was growing, filling the air, pressure rising, and it was inevitably about to blow up. All the lies from her family and her father were stacking up, and she couldn't take it anymore. Never in her life, she thought she would actually slightly cherish the memory of her sisters' death. That's how far down she got in her own rock bottom of despair.

Why? She asked herself.

Rage consumed her. It burned so deeply in her chest Raven tried to set the woods on fire. She didn't even care if she burned with it - in fact, she hoped she did. But the goddamn trees would not burn. She tried to push them off the earth, but they would not tilt. She scratched at the trees, gnawing on the bark with her nails, but barely left a dent. Any marks quickly healed before her eyes, as if she did nothing at all. Then she screamed. She howled all her pain at the moon. The earth did not crack this time. There was some kind of protective spell in these woods.

So she walked some more. Between the haunted trees of the same dream she had for over two hundred years, she lived. Raven talked to herself, she burst into tears sometimes. She reflected a lot about her life. Raven thought of her father a lot. She wondered if he grieved at all, despite being responsible for this. She couldn't help but ask herself why. Why go through all the trouble? Why live with such lies? Did it even weigh on his conscience at all? She imagined how asking him all these questions would go if she ever saw him again. In her head, Raven was so brave. She spoke so boldly, her rage was so eloquent. Why did you put so much pressure on me to be so great if all you were going to was to exile me to oblivion? Or am I here because I failed to meet your impossible standards? Why couldn't you have been just a regular dad? One who raised his daughter himself, one who showed up on her birthday, and held her when she cried?

But in truth, her anger would have been just destructive. Elijah would have just looked at her sternly, standing still behind his cane. He would give her a look. The unexplainable look parents have that tell you all you need to know. Elijah's look kept Raven 10 feet apart. Her father was untouchable, unattainable, unavailable. If he had emotions at all, they were not shown. Raven always wished he just said the words out loud, even if they confirmed her worst fears.

You were not worth losing your mother for. You better serve me being nowhere at all.

Raven would then wait until he left the house, and then she would cry. That is what would happen in real life. He would give her nothing, just like he always did. And she would do nothing but keep on hoping that maybe Elijah would meet her expectations of him someday. There was no point standing up to him. He would never become the person she wished he was. He was better forgotten.

Whenever her mind wasn't fantasizing about angry chats with her father, she often thought of Eric Northman. She missed him. She missed how he made her feel everything so intensely. The vampire had a talent for getting quickly annoying her, but he also made her feel brave and strong, and important. She knew these woods like the back of her hand by now. She really wished he was here with her. She craved him. Everything about him. His incessant questions, his touch, his intense gaze, his smirk.

Raven also talked to Eric in her head sometimes - if it was just the loneliness or if she was going crazy, she didn't know. It didn't really matter. She remembered leaving the Halloween party at Fangtasia and trying to hail a cab. Raven remembered spending so much time wishing she had never met him; that she had never joined this new coven; that he had never kissed her on the sidewalk, or took her to his place. Raven would never forget how he looked at her when she walked of Moon Goddess Emporium. How he looked her at while she was bleeding out. How he looked at her every time he walked into a room. So much time wasted, wishing he had never even knocked on her door, and wondering what life would be like without him.

Well, she knew how it would be like now. It was dark, empty and painstakingly lonely. Raven spent half of her life alone. Maybe she learned to like it that way, maybe she lied to herself because being alone was easier. No one can disappoint you, no one can lie to you, no one can hurt you, no one can leave you - it was safer. You can't lose anyone if you don't have anyone at all. But Raven didn't want to be alone anymore. She wanted to be with him. And it only took losing him forever for her to realize it.

It was a new kind of pain she had never felt before. It ached like grief, but how could she grieve something she never really had? She grieved all the nights she wouldn't wake up with him. She grieved all the laughs, all the touches, all the kisses that she never got to have. Raven grieved the life she would have.

Raven often remembered Eric's kiss. It was the kind of kiss that devoured you. It was ruthless, breath-stealing, hypnotizing. It was... real. Eric Northman was the first man to have really kissed her. He knew exactly who and what she was, and wanted her anyway. And he wanted her over, and over again. Every time their bond was shattered, they ran into each other the first second they could. He wanted her completely and entirely, just like she wanted him. Raven lost herself in him, every time they touched. The world ceased to exist every time she kissed him. And she re-entered into a whole, brand new world after their lips parted. She stepped into a world where she was wanted, just as she was.

She looked up, catching a glimpse of the dark sky. She longed for a breeze on her face. To feel the air blowing loudly in her ears, like when Eric flew with her. The memory comforted her for a moment. Holding Eric's neck and shoulders, hiding her face on the curve of his neck, pressing her body tightly against his while he flew through the air like magic. Which was funny, because she was magical and not even Raven could fly, but he could. Feeling Eric hold her weight entirely. Trusting him wholeheartedly, even though she was told her entire life that vampires were vile, and cruel and would drain her dry at first glance. How wrong all of them were.

In another lifetime I would have loved you so much more than this, it was the last thing he told her.

"In what lifetime Eric?!" She shouted desperately to no one. "Where?! When?!"

Raven was starting to believe she would never see Eric again. Being here suddenly became unbearable. She longed so much for him, she could swear she could feel his presence nearby. Her body felt his pull, but he wasn't there. It was driving her insane. She could feel her skin being eager to touch him, but he was nowhere to be found. His presence was an invisible ghost, stuck there with her. One she could never reach for, one she could never see or hear. Eric had been gone for an eternity, but her heart still yearned for him. Raven knew she was doomed to be alone in these fucking woods forever. If he were here, she would ask him to fly away with her. Being in his arms, feeling the air brush over her skin. If only she could pretend she was flying with him, just for a minute. Next moment she saw a large rock nestled between two trees, about ten feet off the path. And idea popped in her head. Quickly, she ran to it, and climbed the large rock. She awkwardly knelt over it and closed her eyes, stretching her fingers over the moss on the stone.

"Surgo." Raven declared.

The rock shook and made a loud crackle when it left the ground. She crouched carefully, trying to steady herself on the floating rock. Raven felt the butterflies on her stomach and the rock rose upwards, away from the ground. She couldn't help but smile. Witches didn't fly, but standing on a flying object had to be close enough. Why humans thought they would choose a broom of all things, she didn't know. The stone got higher and higher, further and further away from the ground. She was carefully passing branches, and soon she would reach the treetops. From the high angle, she noticed the path she left wounded in a funny way. For a moment, it looked like… No, it can't be. It was just her imagination. Raven spent way too much time alone here.

She was now above the never-ending forest, and the dark sky above her had no stars. She closed her eyes and felt the air rush on her ears as she went up higher and higher. Raven embraced the butterfly in her stomach. She could feel Eric as if he were right beside her. She didn't know how, or why, or if it was even real or just wishful thinking.

When Raven opened her eyes again, she looked down - almost as a reflex. That's when she saw it - the path. It wasn't her imagination. The path wasn't a path at all. She recognized it right away - it was the third magic circle. It was huge, maybe half a mile in diameter. She couldn't see it before, because she had been in it the entire time. Raven was shocked. She accelerated the speed on the rock, flying higher faster. Overlapping the third circle, was the fifth magic circle. Both shared one similar rune, and that is where they overlapped. And from up higher, she recognized the seventh circle, overlapping the fifth over the identical rune they shared. The higher she got, the clearer the larger picture became. Raven saw the tenth circle, the first, the eighth. She floated to what appeared to be the middle. All 13 circles were there, and together they formed a new one: the 14th circle. It was beautifully complicated, put together in one very specific formation which allowed the runes to overlap perfectly, turning the circles into one large intricate mandala of magic keys.

There was no question in her mind who was behind this. This had to be the work of the greatest conjurer of her lifetime. Agatha was the creator of seven out of the 13 common circles used in magic. The woman was obsessed with them. She made Raven draw the circles every single day as homework. She did this so much she could recite it as second nature.

First circle: water energy.

Second circle: fire energy.

Third circle: air magic.

Fourth circle: earth magic.

Fifth circle: Key of Solomon - evocation magic.

Sixth circle: key of abjuration.

Seventh circle: key of inner energy.

Eighth circle: key of demons.

Ninth circle: key of spirits.

Tenth circle: key of illusion.

Eleventh circle: key of transmutation.

Twelfth circle: key of angels.

Thirteenth circle: key of cosmos.

She memorized every rune placement, every line angle, every inscription, every spell to be used with which key (and there were many!). But Agatha never told her the circles went together. In every book Raven has ever read, each circle was used for a different kind of magic. Key of Solomon was her go-to as an Enchantress. The sixth key she used for protective spells in her house. Mabel was a healer and used only the first and seventh circles. Harriet was a medium and used mostly just the ninth. No witch or warlock (with the exception of Agatha) knew all circles in-depth, just the ones their denomination needed. Conjurers often boasted about being the most well-versed in circle magic, as their denomination used eight out of the thirteen circles. But in no book, not anywhere, they were ever put together.

What would happen if she just… Activated them? All at once? What did this new circle configuration do? Raven was no stranger to experimenting with all the circles. Her tracking magic methods, combined more than one circle in the same spell. What would happen if Raven used all the magic in the world at once?

Would I go home? And just as that thought popped into her head, her house was not what came to mind. A certain vampire was.

All worries vanished. It's all or nothing. Raven didn't care if she died, or ceased to exist, or if the world imploded if she activated this circle. If it meant going back, there was no question about it. She was not going to spend another second in this forsaken place.

She stopped the rock midair, holding it still several feet high up from the ground. She carefully stood up and stuck arms out, palms facing down. Activating all circles together would take a hell lot of energy. Raven focused all the magic she had - all of it. Static electricity immediately crackled all around her, like little fireflies prickling at her skin. She took a deep breath, steading her heart. Her entire life flashed in front of her eyes. Agatha's gentle voice whispered in the back of her mind. Have you drawn your circles today, Raven? Go do it while I finish supper. Raven knew she would have to pour all of herself in it. The path was the key. This dream was no coincidence, it all meant something. This place wasn't entirely a dream either - it was a gift. Raven realized in that moment Elijah wasn't really her father. Lilith or Marion weren't really her mother either. She only had one parent who mattered, and it was Agatha Beekman. She also had four incredible sisters. But Agatha raised her, loved her, fed her, taught her right from wrong, taught her magic. Taught her how to think. To question. To love. And she may never understand why Agatha did certain things that she did, but Raven forgave her. Everything Agatha had ever done, she's done out of love for Raven. She could see that now.

The massive maze of paths beneath her started to light up, slowly, gently. It needed more magic, way more. Raven never used this much magic at once before. Her heart was pounding fast in her chest. More, she thought, pushing her magic further than she had ever pushed before. Raven didn't even care if she somehow ended up using all of her magic. There was a strong possibility she would faint and fall from this rock, and die from the crash. It's all or nothing. Every fibre in her body was vibrating with all the power running through her veins. The circle lit up brightly. Every rune, every curve, every line perfectly orchestrated. Agatha Beekman was a genius. She was the one who designed 7 out of the 13 magic keys. They were widespreadly used by witches and warlocks for more than a millennia. Raven had a whole shelf worth of books written by her on so many topics, from circle architecture, conjuration, demonology, magic theory. Raven had read them over and over again through the years, but none spoke about this. No, this she kept off the books. This was a secret Agatha passed onto Raven without her even knowing. Raven didn't know how Agatha did this, but she was starting to realize why she did this. Agatha knew about her father, she knew about Lilith, about her fate. She knew harm was on Raven's path and she created all of this to save her. Agatha did this because she was her mom.

And mothers protect their children.

Well done Raven, now come in. Food is ready.

The circles underneath illuminated the entire forest, in the most beautiful shades of yellow, green and blue.

"I'm going home," Raven whispered as she let it all go.

She let her magic pour out with everything she had. It was as if she had whispered her whole life, and now Raven was belting from the top of her lungs. She felt fire run in her blood. She felt ice form on her skin, burning cold. Her heart felt free. The lights beneath her became so bright she had to close her eyes for a second, not being able to look down below anymore. Suddenly something stormed in her stomach. A tinge of darkness got swollen by the enormous burst of light. At once, she threw up something bitter and thick in her mouth. Her whole body revolted against it. She spat whatever that was immediately.

Raven opened her eyes to try to catch a glimpse at it, but it vanished into ash in the air, like black smoke. Suddenly strange sounds surrounded her. They started quietly, as if far far away. Then they were right next to her, loud and clear. Alarms blaring, people screaming, guns shooting, fighting, yelling and crying. Raven was elsewhere. She didn't recognize this part of the Authority. It looked very different - fluorescent lights, blank white walls, metal floors, metal gates, tall ceilings, mezzanines. There were bodies in motion all around her. Her internal instincts blared VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE. HIDE IMMEDIATELY. VAMPIRES EVERYWHERE!

Raven was certainly out of the woods, and she was surrounded by vampires. They were indeed everywhere. But this was definitely not the Vampire Authority. Vampires wore odd grey jumpsuits as if this were a prison. The whole place did look like a prison. It was a large cage. Vampires growled and attacked human guards in a hostile takeover. Humans in turn shot at them with guns, tasers and batons. They were in riot gear, trying to contain the vampire uprising. Raven noticed she too, wore the same grey jumpsuit with the number 5 on her chest. She was also covered in blood. Her hands were stained with red, she could feel chunks of flesh on her wrists, between her fingers and under her nails. What the fuck? Raven was fucking confused, to say the least. Why the hell was she wearing the prison suit? And whose blood was on her hands? What had she done? How did she get here? Where was-

With a swoosh of air, Eric Northman suddenly stood right in front of her, wearing matching outfits. Everything went quiet again. Everything went still. His blue eyes were right in front of her. Her focus wouldn't leave the tall blonde in front of her. She lost all breath. Was this a dream? Was it real? His intense stare going right through her soul, the feeling she felt in her chest, the pull on her skin that called out for being in his arms was unmistakable. His large hands grazed her arms, holding her gently, testing if she were real. And for a moment, she didn't know what was real.

"Raven?" He whispered, he looked at her almost as if he didn't recognize her.

"Where am I? What happened?" She asked him.

Without a word, he leaned forward and kissed her. It was the kiss she craved for the eternity she spent in the woods. She embraced him and lost herself in his lips. Her hands pulled him close, holding his face tight against hers as if he were to vanish at any second. Was he real? Was any of this real? What she felt for him was like being whole. Like a full breath of air after not breathing for longer than she wanted to. She was home.

A loud rumbling noise came from above them. Suddenly, a warm light. Eric let her go immediately, with a growl. Raven looked up and saw a huge sunroof slowly crack open above them, letting bright sunshine in. The sun was warm and bright, high in the cloudless sky. She never thought she would fear sunlight. All the vampires burst into full-on panic. The crowd cried and screamed in terror, pushing themselves against the walls, hiding under tables, trying to escape the light that shined through the ceiling. Raven looked around; every room and every hallway around them had the same sunroof panels opening slowly rolling open everywhere - there was no escape. The whole place had a lid and it was opening like a can of sardines. She saw three vampires being thrown in the middle of the sunny hallway by guards, and they immediately burst into flames. One of them she recognized - he was at the Authority too. Steve-something.

Wait. Vampires were trying to take over a prison during the day?! Excellent timing.

Raven didn't have minutes to come up with a plan, she had seconds at best. She looked at Eric, who looked back at her with shimmering eyes. All other vampires looked terrified, watching the sunlight grow as a rug on the floor. Not him. He just looked at her peacefully. He smiled slightly as if saying goodbye. Even after all she's been through, her heart kept finding new ways to hurt.

No, she thought. No! She didn't come this far just to lose him like this. Raven did not defy death, her soul didn't transcend dimensions, she didn't unlock the world's most powerful and secret of magics just to have it end like this. She vowed herself to him, and she was going to do anything to save him.

Raven had to do the only thing she could think of: she had to stop the sun.

She summoned all her magic at once again, let it take over her like wildfire. She focused on the sunlight on her skin, recalling the fourteenth circle in her mind. Stopping the sun: it was big, it was bold, it was definitely forbidden. But if all she could was to buy more time, or make sure he was safe, this is what she was going to do.

"Quae obscura recondit clavem potentiae,"

Raven focused her breathing, slowed her heart rate. Electricity ran all through her body. She felt the vibration again. It started to resonate with the air around it. She could feel the whole room. Taste their fear, their cries were cries. Raven felt herself expand with each heartbeat. She felt everything - the air, the walls, the people around her. Her magic resonated much bigger on Earth than in the forest. She felt the whole prison, a desert, the sky, the whole city. Raven felt the sky, the dirt, the air, the oceans. Raven grew bigger and bigger, expanding like a ripple in the water. She could feel the entire earth. Her magic grew, it expanded, engulfed everything. She felt the moon.

"Verum est forma in conspectu tuo ostende mihi,"

Her feet lifted off the ground, she gently floated upwards. There was no more sound. All she could feel was the power that connected everything. She didn't even feel her body anymore. She floated, drifted in the universe like dust, just like everything else.

"Vocem meam audient vocem meam imperium,"

Raven pushed further, just like she did with the magic key. She felt everything spin, very slowly but with incredible force. Focus.

"Obscuro!"

The room darkened. There was no more light. Raven took a deep breath and she landed softly on the floor, her knees almost gave out, but Eric caught her. She looked up and she saw it, just past his face who looked at her curiously: an eclipse. The sun and moon were perfectly aligned, the sun was fully eclipsed. It was night again. Night in the middle of the afternoon.

Raven Blackwood just moved the fucking moon.

The whole place went quiet for a moment, everyone marvelled up at the sky, waiting for the eclipse to pass, but it didn't. The moon stayed still. It was beautiful. It is also forbidden, she remembered. She knew it was before she even did it, but it was worth it. There was no time to appreciate the bittersweetness of her biggest, and perhaps last magic spell, since everyone around her burst alive. The vampires roared as a coordinated battle cry and attacked the few humans left. Soon, they started to destroy the place - from throwing furniture around, to tearing down the walls. It was mayhem.

Eric still held her quietly, in the middle of the room, he looked deeply in her eyes. "Is this really you?"

"Who else would it be?" She chuckled. Eric wrapped his arms around her and held her so tight she could barely breathe, but she let him. "Eric I am so sorry-"

"Sorry?" He pulled away confused. "You are sorry?!"

"Sorry, it took me so long to find my way back to you,"

He softly smiled, putting his forehead against hers, his thumb brushed over her cheek for a moment before pulling away and helping her get up. "In this case, you are forgiven." He smirked.

"Eric!" A woman's voice cut through the mayhem. "Eric!"

"Pam?!" He looked around, anxious.

The tall blonde zig-zagged from across the room, dodging a guard being thrown down from the second floor. Pam hugged Eric tight, with streaks of red running down her face. She sobbed his name over and over again. Raven took a moment to look at the absolute zoo around her. She started to put the pieces together. This didn't only look awfully like a prison; the silver cage doors, the armed guards, the lack of windows... This was a prison, and it was made for vampires. How long had she been gone? What the hell happened? How did she get here? Any vampire who locked eyes with Raven quickly stepped back in fear. They were scared of her. Why? She saved them. What the hell is going on?

"Where the fuck is that bald micro-dick douchebag?" Pam asked, recomposing herself.

"Why? What did he do to you?! Did he experiment on you?!" Eric asked angrily.

"Experiment?" Raven repeated, incredulous. What the fuck-

"I swear to God if Burrell touched a hair on your head-"

Burrell… Louisiana Governor Truman Burrell?

"He killed Tara! He killed my child!" Pam's voice was filled with sadness.

Eric placed his palms on her face, holding her gently, wiping a tear off her eyes. Raven felt incredibly sad for both Pam and Tara. And also Lafayette - he had lost so much.

"Pam I'm so sorry," Raven told her.

Pam finally looked at Raven and swallowed her sadness at once. She popped a hand on her hip, resuming her usual sassy stance. "Well look who it is. Took you long enough." And then she glanced back at Eric with a shy smile. Pam seemed almost… Happy to see her? Okay, this was freaking her the fuck out.

They walked around the still open-ceiling complex, trying to find the Governor, but the more they searched the clearer it was that he had managed to escape his own prison. Vampires successfully took over the place. Anyone who didn't flee stayed to torture the scientists and guards of the compound.

"Oh finally," Pam exclaimed and she found a case of Tru Blood sitting in a large office, probably the Governor's judging by the expensive decor. "I'm fucking starving." She opened the case quickly and pulled out a bottle.

Poison, Raven's intuition called.

"I believe Burrell bounced the second he lost control of…" Eric paused, glancing at Raven for a moment. "This place." Raven's eye did not leave the red bottle once. Poison. "I have a hunch of where he might be, and if he isn't there Raven I'll need you to track him-"

Poison. Raven learned to trust her instincts. She paid a high price for ignoring it last time. Raven ran over to Pamela and smacked the bottle right out of her hand, spilling red liquid all over the carpet.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing!?" Pam roared.

"It's poisoned!" Raven explained.

"How the fuck do you know? Eric, are we sure this bitch is really Raven?"

"Intuition." Raven. Who else might she be?

Eric opened another bottle of Tru Blood. He looked worried as he sniffed it. "No…" He muttered, smelling the bottle again. "It can't be…"

"What?!" Pam asked.

"They put Hep V in it," Eric explained.

"Hep what?" She repeated.

"Pam, did you drink any of this while you're here?" He asked.

"No," Pam said much to Eric's relief. "The shrink let me have real blood if I played nice. Everyone else has been drinkin' it though. The fuck is Hep V?"

Eric had a dark look in his eyes. Raven had a real bad feeling about this. "We gotta go." Eric stepped back out in the hallway, which now was empty. The eclipse was sitting perfectly aligned still. Her spell made the moon follow the sun until it set completely.

Goddammit, I really did it, didn't I?

"You don't gotta say it twice. Let's ditch this lame-ass party? If I spend another hour in this shapeless scratchy one piece I'm gonna off myself." Pam said, looking around at the chaos surrounding them.

"Raven?" Eric asked, slipping his arm around her. She knew what was going to happen next. She felt real butterflies in her stomach and her heart burst into joy.

Raven grabbed onto his shoulders, and they flew into the dark afternoon sky.

A.N.:

My God this chapter took me so long to write/edit. What am I gonna do with all my time once this story is finished?

Comment below pls

xoxoxoxoo