Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh 5Ds, or any other property in this work that I did not make myself.
Yu-gi-oh! 5Ds after hours
Chapter twenty-one: Yusei and friends do a galaxy far, far away
It was a calm and lovely enough day in the Atlas penthouse in New Domino City, a suburb of San Francisco, California. Yusei and Akiza Fudo were standing in the living room in front of the sofa, on which Leo and Luna Wundertwin (1) sat, with Leo holding Alphonse, the recently born son of Yusei and Akiza. Standing between Yusei and Akiza was Lori Loud, who is attending classes at Hogan University. As she needed a place to stay while attending classes in California, Lori accepted a job as a live-in nanny that Akiza's been wanting to hire.
"Leo, Luna, this is Lori," Akiza said, "Yusei and I hired her to help out around the house, mainly with helping to raise you two and Alphonse. I want the two of you to listen to her, alright?"
"Well hey, if you two gave her a thumbs-up, then she's alright by me," Leo remarked casually.
"You do realize that we can look after ourselves, right?" Luna asked.
"No ifs, ands or buts, little lady," Crow Hogan's voice called out as he, along with Jack Atlas, Kalin Kessler and Kalin's talking dog best friend Dukey walked into the living room. Looking over to Yusei, Crow said, "I take it that you and Akiza are trying to get the introductory stuff out of the way?"
"Well Leo doesn't seem to mind Lori's presence too much, and Alphonse doesn't mind when Lori tries to handle him," Akiza remarked. Pointing to Luna while still facing the guys, Akiza continued, "It's Luna who I'm worried about."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me," Crow remarked. Turning to face Lori, Crow said, "Just to give you fair warning, our Luna is nowhere near as cool as your Luna."
"Don't worry, Dean Crow," Lori replied in a reassuring tone, "I literally got this."
"And what's with you saying the word 'literally' every couple of words?" Luna asked in a questioning tone, "Is it like a verbal tic or something?"
"Luna, sis, seriously," Leo said as he turned to face his twin sister, "Chill your tits."
"I would take your brother's advice if I were you, Luna," Dukey remarked, "Lori's here whether you like it or not, and you're going to have to listen to her if any of the guys, Akiza, Carly, Brianna or I aren't around."
"Luna literally doesn't listen to you, remember?" Lori said to the talking dog.
"See? There she goes again," Luna said to Leo as she gestured to Lori, "She just used the word 'literally' again!"
Sighing as she face-palmed, Lori muttered to herself, "This is going to be a long couple of years, I just know it…" (2)
Later, Yusei was working on something in the garage with Jack and Kalin when Crow came running into the garage. "Dudes, how would each and every of you like your very own personal flying vehicle?" Crow asked.
"Birdbrain, how would you like to stop fucking spewing the first asinine bullshit that pops into your head every couple of seconds?" Jack retorted.
"I'm being super serious right now, you guys," Crow said. Holding up a brown leather sheath that held his Dimensional Scissors, Crow continued, "Because when I was hopping from place to place out of sheer boredom, I came across some world where there were flying pod-like cars and all of that cool future shiznits. You guys in or not?"
"Well given that Akiza is out with Carly and Brianna, not to mention the fact that Luna doesn't respect Dukey, this is a perfect opportunity for Lori to get some experience in watching over the twins and Alphonse," Yusei remarked as he got up off of the stool he was sitting on over at a work bench, "I'm in."
"Oh, this ought to be a bloody hoot," Jack commented as Crow opened a portal with his Dimensional Scissors. Following Crow, Yusei and Kalin into the portal, Jack muttered to himself, "One of us is going to get killed going to this world that Birdbrain wants to show us. I just know it."
In a futuristic-looking world with tall buildings, a portal appeared on a highly elevated parking lot. The guys all stepped out of this portal and onto the parking lot. "See, you guys?" Crow said as he gestured to the flying vehicles that were parked, "What did I tell you? Flying vehicles."
"Wow, Crow," Yusei remarked, "This is pretty impressive. I can just imagine myself piloting one of those bad boys."
"Why just be satisfied with imagining it?" Crow replied, "If you should so desire, I can very easily hotwire one for you to play around with."
"As nice as it would be to pilot one of those flying vehicles," Yusei began to reply, "I really don't think that-"
"What was that?" Crow called from over by one of the flying vehicles that he had been gesturing to, "Sorry, I can't here you from over here where I'm hotwiring one of the vehicles."
"One, how did you go from standing next to us to way over here in a matter of seconds," Kalin began when he and the other two guys caught up to Crow, "Two, why are you hotwiring one of the flying vehicles when Yusei was very clearly going to ask you not to do so, and three, why did you pick this bulky thing? Couldn't you have picked a sleeker, more elegant-looking one?"
"One, company secret," Crow began to reply, "Two, because I'm itching to fly around in one of these bad boys myself, and three, this is the only one I saw that has enough seats for all four of us." Getting the flying vehicle to start up, Crow peeked out from where he was sitting so he could face his friends and say, "What, did you three seriously think I'd leave you all behind? Now hop in, boys. I'm driving."
Sighing in a resigned tone as he, Yusei and Kalin got into the flying vehicle, Jack said, "At least tell me that you're sober."
"Does root beer count as alcohol?" Crow asked with a mildly confused curious look, "Because that's all I've had to drink so far today."
"If it was the stuff that we have back at the penthouse, then no," Jack replied.
"Okay, good," Crow said as he turned his attention forward, "Then I'm sober." Crow pulled up the flying vehicle he hotwired, and took off into the world he brought his friends to.
In an alleyway somewhere, a green-skinned girl with black markings over her face was running away from something. This girl wore a dark-colored robe, along with a cloak with the hood currently up. As she made a sharp turn around a corner, the girl's hood flew off, but she did not stop to correct this. From the looks of her, she was far too frightened by…whatever she was trying to run away from.
After another sharp turn, the green-skinned girl found herself in a relatively open area that was effectively a dead-end. Turning around, the girl let out a slight gasp as she saw what she was running from; a tall, white-colored robotic being that wore a cape. "Jedi scum," the robotic being said at the green-skinned girl, practically spitting with disgust, "I have you trapped like the filthy rat that you are."
The robotic being held up both arms, which separated into two arms each, giving him a total of four arms. Each arm reached down to the robotic being's sides, grabbed one thing each, and held them up. Each item looked like cylindrical hilts without blades. However, that changed when each one sprouted a glowing, humming blade of energy. Two of the blades were blue while the other two were green.
The green-skinned girl pulled out one of those cylindrical objects from her own robes, and it produced a blue blade. "I will not go down without a fight, General Grievous," the green-skinned girl growled, "Even if you were to cut me low, I will not be forgotten! I will not be remembered as a mere joke! I will-"
The green-skinned girl was cut off when a bulky and rather plain-looking flying vehicle crashed into the robotic being, apparently called General Grievous, pinning him face down into the ground. After the flying vehicle crashed nose-first into Grievous, a metal protrusion flew from the wreckage and into the left eye of the green-skinned girl, going in deep enough to penetrate her head and kill her. After the green-skinned girl's lifeless body collapsed to the ground, Yusei and his friends staggered out of the flying vehicle.
"Crow," Yusei began, "The next time you hotwire a flying vehicle, just let me take over the HOLY SHIT THERE'S A DEAD GIRL!"
Yusei pointed to where the corpse of the green-skinned girl laid on the ground. Her blue-bladed energy weapon was still active, lying on the ground where it fell after its slain owner dropped it upon her death. Walking over to the still-active energy weapon, Crow picked it up, and found out how to turn it off. Repeating the process, Crow turned it back on and off a few more times before leaving it off.
"I'm keeping this," Crow said as he hid the inactive energy weapon in his jacket. Jack was about to chew Crow out for essentially robbing the dead, but robotic coughing came from behind the guys, prompting them all to turn around and face Grievous, who was still pinned.
"You four clearly aren't Jedi," Grievous coughed, "Yet you would dare defy me, General Grievous? I will have your heads, but not before taking the lightsaber of that dead Jedi brat!"
"Is that what the thing Crow just took is called?" Yusei asked, a confused look on his face. Pointing to the pinned general, Yusei asked, "Why do you want it?"
"I collect lightsabers, you see," Grievous coughed, "I have at least four with me as we speak, and I would have used them to cleave your heads from your necks if it wasn't for the fact that I'm pinned by this beast of a vehicle you crashed into me!"
"You know, we could potentially get you out of that mess and back on your feet," Jack pointed out, "So do you really think it's a good idea to threaten our lives?" (3)
"I say we kill him and take the laser swords he said he had," Crow suggested as he pulled his recently acquired lightsaber out and activated it, "All in favor say aye."
"From the looks of things, he was chasing that dead girl and would have killed her either way," Kalin said, "Although it might be a bit extreme, I say we destroy the robot."
"I AM NOT A ROBOT!" Grievous exclaimed, "I AM A CYBORG!"
"Wait, doesn't that mean he's part living being then?" Jack asked, "Kalin, your friend living in Jump City is part robot and part living being, right?"
"Right," Kalin confirmed with a nod.
"So, I guess it would technically count as killing," Jack remarked with a mildly confused look on his face, "That being said, I think that Birdbrain, and I can't believe I'm bloody saying this, should kill the bastard."
"He'd probably be sentenced to death in whatever place we're at anyway since he was chasing an innocent girl with the intent to kill her," Yusei remarked, "Yeah Crow, go ahead and kill the sorry son of a bitch."
"Cool," Crow said as he ran up and drove the blade of his lightsaber into Grievous' skull, piercing his brain and killing him. The slain cyborg spasmed roughly enough to make the flying vehicle that was keeping him pinned fall over with a fairly loud crash. The guys flipped Grievous' remains over and began to search him. Crow found and recovered all four of the lightsabers that the former cyborg had on hand; surprisingly, none of them were damaged.
"Well then, boys," Crow said as he pocketed all four of the lightsabers he just got, "What the fuck do we do now?"
"I say we should report what just happened here," Yusei suggested, "I mean, some crazy cyborg motherfucker was trying to chase down and kill an innocent girl. The local law enforcement has got to be informed about this."
Later, Yusei and the others were standing in a large and opulent office in a building somewhere on…whatever world they were on. They were talking to two men, one with a mullet and one with a respectable beard going on. Behind the two men were a few soldiers in white armor, holding one laser blaster gun each.
"I am Obi-Wan Kenobi," the man with the beard said. Gesturing to the slightly younger man with the mullet next to him, Obi-Wan continued, "And this is Anakin Skywalker. The both of us are Jedi."
"Yeah, that robot cyborg dude with four arms and multiple laser swords said something about Jedi being scum or some shit like that before I killed him," Crow remarked, "Was he telling the truth, or was he just trying to mess with me?"
"Wait a minute," Anakin began in a tone of mild shock, "You killed General Grievous?!"
"Yeah," Yusei explained, "Our vehicle crashed down on top of him. From the looks of things before hand, he killed some green-skinned girl that he was chasing. Grievous said something about wanting to kill the girl and take her laser sword thing."
"You mean lightsaber," Anakin corrected as he took his own lightsaber off of his belt and activated it, allowing the blue glowing blade to hum for a bit before he turned it back off and returned it to where it was at originally.
Pointing Anakin's lightsaber, Yusei said, "Yeah, that. Sorry, but all of this is kind of new to me."
"It's rather tragic that he killed Luminara's padawan," Obi-wan remarked, "I knew that Grievous was a fiend, but to hunt down and kill innocent padawans for their lightsabers? Monstrous."
"Well he's dead now," Kalin pointed out, "That's good, right?"
"Grievous was one of the leading members of the Separatists, who the Republic is currently at war with," Obi-Wan explained, "So I'd certainly say that finishing Grievous is a good thing."
"How did you guys even get here to Coruscant in the first place?" Anakin asked.
"We got a ride from a friend," Yusei explained. (4)
"Well, your service is slaying General Grievous has been invaluable," Obi-Wan said, "I'm certain that the rest of the Jedi Council would like to thank you for taking out one of the key players of the Separatists. Now then, Anakin and I have to go track down Luminara and inform her about the tragic death of her padawan."
"That word you keep using," Crow began as he gestured at Obi-Wan, "Padawan. Is that, like, a fancy word that Jedi use when referring to someone's kid?"
Letting out a good-natured laugh, Obi-Wan said, "Oh goodness, no. The term padawan is used to describe a young, inexperienced Jedi under the tutelage of a wise and experienced Jedi."
"Oh, so it's a fancy word Jedi use when referring to someone's student," Crow remarked.
"Pretty much, yeah," Anakin remarked with a nod, "In fact, I was Obi-Wan's padawan before my promotion to Jedi Knight, and I currently have my own padawan right now."
"Really?" Yusei asked, "What's his or her name?"
"Her name is Ahsoka," Anakin explained, "Granted, having her as my padawan was, admittedly, kind of sprung on me before I knew what was going on, but I'm getting used to it, you know?"
"Is Ahsoka eighteen?" Kalin asked, drawing surprised looks from Yusei, Jack and Crow. (5) As a response to Kalin's question, Anakin took his lightsaber off of his belt and turned it on, holding it casually at his side. Seeing the threating laser sword in Anakin's hand, Kalin meekly said, "Umm, I'll choose to take that as a 'no'."
Later, Yusei and the other guys were waiting inside of a room somewhere in a big official republic building somewhere on Coruscant. There were two clone guards waiting outside the door of the room that the guys were in, one standing guard on each side of the door. "Dudes, I feel like we're being held here as prisoners," Crow remarked.
"Birdbrain, we killed a leading member of the republic's enemy in the ongoing republic versus separatist war," Jack pointed out when the door to the room that the guys were in opened, "Those guards aren't keeping us prisoner, they were assigned there to act as our security."
"He has a point, sir," a young female voice called out after Jack finished explaining things to Crow, "The separatists will undoubtedly want to kill the four of you for what you did to General Grievous." Having head the voice speak up, Yusei and the guys turned and saw a young girl of some alien race enter the room.
The young alien girl had dark orange skin, various white facial markings on her face, and some sort of white appendages with blue stripes coming from her head. She wore a dark reddish sleeveless dress that reached a few inches down her thighs, dark grey leggings, brown boots that reached her knees, a pair of brown fingerless gloves that almost reached her elbows, and two belts worn around her waist in a way that formed an 'X'. On one of the belts, an inactive lightsaber hung casually.
"And you are…?" Yusei began, expecting the young alien girl to fill the rest in.
"My name is Ahsoka Tano," the young alien girl said as she introduced herself, "And you four are the men who killed General Grievous, are you not?"
"We killed some tall, multi-armed white cyborg dude with multiple lightsabers, and he had a thing for hunting down young Jedi and taking their lightsabers," Yusei replied, "Although to be fair, we killed him mostly by accident, as our vehicle crashed down on top of him, keeping him pinned so we could kill him easily."
"Even if it was by accident, you still took out someone who has killed countless members of the republic," Ahsoka remarked, "I mean, General Grievous is dead because of you guys. This is a major boon to the republic's efforts in the war."
"I don't suppose there's going to be some sort of celebratory party, will there?" Jack asked.
With a mildly confused look on her face that was mostly due to being unsure, Ahsoka replied, "I think there's going to be a banquet where the four of you will be presented with awards for services to the republic, if that helps."
"Will there be booze at this banquet?" Crow asked.
With the look on her face becoming slightly more confused, Ahsoka said, "Booze?" After thinking about it for a second, Ahsoka had a look of realization on her face as she said, "Oh, you mean like wine. Umm, I…think so?"
"Do you have a date to the banquet?" Kalin asked, once again drawing surprised looks from Yusei, Jack and Crow.
"Umm, I'm only fourteen, sir," Ahsoka replied, "And you're how old?"
"Never mind," Kalin said, looking more than a little eager to end the conversation.
"So, when can we, like, get the hell out of here?" Crow asked, "I don't like being kept in one place for too long."
"I'm going to have to ask that you sirs be just a little more patient," Ahsoka replied, "Masters Kenobi and Windu will be here within short order to further explain things to you. Some staff will be by beforehand to bring you sirs lunch. I'm assuming that you haven't had much to eat so far, so I took the liberty of arranging something for you."
"Oh, well that's mighty considerate of you, young lady," Jack said, "Thank you. And I would also like to take this time to apologize for my friend Kalin hitting on you."
"Stuff it, Jack," Kalin huffed in an annoyed tone.
"Seriously," Crow said with a hint of agitation in his tone, "I need to get the hell out of here. I don't really feel comfortable being kept in one place for too long."
"I'm sorry, sir, but you're going to have to stay here," Ahsoka said in a sympathetic tone.
"I gotta get out of here, man," Crow said with a hint of panic in his tone, "I gotta get-" Crow was cut off when Ahsoka held up her hand and aimed the palm at Crow; Crow was suddenly pushed back into a plush, comfortable arm chair.
"Please, just try to relax," Ahsoka replied. The young Jedi padawan then turned around and said, "If any of you sirs need anything, let the guards outside know, and one of them will call for me so I can-" This time, it was Ahsoka who was cut off when Crow, pissed that Ahsoka had used some sort of power on him, got up from the chair that he was thrown into, ran up to Ahsoka from behind while taking out a lightsaber and turning it on, and stabbing Ahsoka in the back with the lightsaber, impaling her as the blue blade came out through her chest.
The young Jedi padawan cough out in pain, too startled to even cry out. Crow yanked the lightsaber out of Ahsoka and allowed her to fall to the floor, where she laid there unmoving. After Crow killed Ahsoka, the two clone guards that were outside came inside. "We heard a struggle," one of the clone guards said, "What happened in-" The guard was cut off when Crow ran up to him and decapitated him, following that up by decapitating the other clone guard too.
As Yusei, Jack and Kalin looked at the two dead clone guards and the dead Jedi padawan, Jack said, "Birdbrain…WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Did you not hear me explain myself to Kalin's underaged alien girlfriend?" Crow replied, "I don't feel comfortable being kept in one place for too long. I freak out if I'm not allowed to roam about as I please."
"How the fuck are we going to explain to the other Jedi that the two guards and Anakin's padawan are all dead now?!" Yusei snapped at Crow.
"…" After he looked at the other guys, Crow said, "…I have an idea."
Later, Obi-Wan was heading up to the room where Yusei and the other guys were being kept. With Obi-Wan was another Jedi master; this one was a bald, dark-skinned human who looked like a revered, legendary actor. (6) "Accident or no, those four killed General Grievous," the dark-skinned man said to Obi-Wan, "The chancellor will undoubtedly want to-"
"Hold that thought, Mace," Obi-Wan said, holding a hand up to cut his companion off, "There's some trouble over by the room where the heroes are staying." The two masters looked over and saw two security workers talking to Yusei and the others; there where three bodies lying under white sheets in the hallway.
Running up to the scene, the two masters dismissed the security workers and began to question the guys. "What happened here?" the dark-skinned Jedi named Mace said.
"Who are you?" Yusei asked as he pointed to mace.
"This is Jedi Master Mace Windu," Obi-Wan explained as he made the introductions, "He is a member of the Jedi Counsel, the governing body of the Jedi order."
"Oh, nice to meet you, dude," Crow said as waved at Mace.
"It's a pleasure to meet the heroes who killed General Grievous, but we can discuss that later," Mace replied. Gesturing over to where the three covered bodies laid on the floor in the hallway, Mace asked, "What happened here? Was there some sort of attack on a member of the galactic senate or something?"
"Believe it or not, it was an evil Jedi," Crow said as he began to bullshit to the two Jedi masters, "He had a…a RED lightsaber. And he had a beard, which made him look even more evil. The evil Jedi didn't like that my friends and I killed that four-armed robot guy with the lightsabers, so he took his red lightsaber to try to kill my friends and I. Before that could happen, though, the two clone guys and Kalin's underaged alien girlfriend got in the way, so the evil Jedi guy killed all three of them."
"Evil Jedi?" Obi-Wan said with a confused look on his face, "…Oh, you mean a Sith Lord."
"Yeah, that," Crow replied as he pointed to Obi-Wan.
"And you said he had a beard," Mace continued in a concerned tone, "Was it white?"
"Yeah, sure," Crow said with a nod.
The two Jedi masters turned to face each other, with Obi-Wan saying to Mace, "Well this is just wonderful. First General Grievous managed to sneak his way onto Coruscant, and now Count Dooku follows afterwards. How can security be so shoddy?"
"Wait a minute," Jack said as he couldn't believe that Crow's bullshiting turned out to be surprisingly accurate, "What?!"
"The quote unquote 'evil Jedi' who tried to kill you is a Sith Lord known as Count Dooku," Mace explained to the four guys as he and Obi-Wan turned to face them, "He is, like General Grievous was before you killed him, a leading member of the separatists. Taking out Count Dooku is one of the top priorities of the republic if we are to win the war."
"You…you don't say," Yusei replied, still a little shocked that Crow's lying just now turned out to be true.
"We do say," Obi-Wan said, then said in a resigned tone, "And now things are even worse. First General Grievous killed Luminara's padawan-"
"Luminara's padawan was killed?!" Mace nearly exclaimed in a surprised tone, a hint of shock coming to his expression.
"Yes, I'm afraid so," Obi-Wan said to his fellow Jedi master, "Luminara's padawan was slain by General Grievous." Gesturing to where the three dead bodies laid, Obi-Wan continued, "And now we have to deal with Count Dooku killing Ahsoka not too long afterward."
"Anakin's padawan was killed, too?!" Mace exclaimed, eyes widening with shock and surprise, "But the broom-headed gentleman said that two clone guards and someone's underaged girlfriend was killed by Dooku."
"Yeah, Crow thinks that Ahsoka was Kalin's girlfriend due to Kalin asking about her at least twice," Yusei explained, "I highly doubt that they were seriously ever an item."
"This is really troublesome," Obi-Wan remarked, "First Grievous, now Dooku. Just what exactly are the separatists planning?"
"We should report what happened here to the rest of the Jedi counsel," Mace said, "Also, we should not let Anakin know that Dooku killed his apprentice."
"He's going to find out eventually," Obi-Wan said as the two Jedi masters began to walk away, "Do you really have so little faith in Anakin?"
"Yes," Mace replied, and that reply was the last things the guys heard before Mace and Obi-Wan were out of earshot. When the two Jedi masters were out of sight and earshot, the four guys turned to face each other.
"I literally cannot believe you just successfully bullshitted your way out of trouble with two obviously high-ranking and intelligent men," Jack said as he looked to Crow. (7)
"That's beside the point, Jack," Crow replied as he pointed down the hallway in the direction Obi-Wan and Mace took off in, "Did you not hear them? Some asshole named Dooku is loose here on Coruscant! We gotta help them track down the evil son of a bitch, kill the fucker, and save the day!"
"There's no evil Jedi here on Coruscant, Birdbrain," Jack snapped, "Those two Jedi that you just bluffed came to that conclusion on their own due to the fact that you described a notorious villain by sheer bloody coincidence!"
As Jack and Crow went back and forth at each other, Yusei turned to look at Kalin, and noticed that Kalin was looking to where the two dead clone guards and Ahsoka laid under white sheets in the hallway. "What's wrong, Kalin?" Yusei asked.
His voice sounding just a bit choked up, Kalin said, "I would have been willing to wait until she turned eighteen."
"Kalin, dude, seriously," Yusei said, "You're a great guy and all, and I know you're still looking for someone to have a romantic relationship with, and anyone would be lucky to have you, but I don't think that things would have worked between you and Ahsoka."
As the Jedi discussed the sightings of Count Dooku on Coruscant, Yusei and the guys wandered around at their leisure, with the Jedi not knowing that they were wandering around. "Oh yeah, before I forget," Crow said as he and the other guys walked, "I looted these from those dweebs in the hallway." Crow took out two laser rifles, four one-handed laser guns, and an inactive lightsaber. "I figured that these might come in handy while we're here in Future Land," Crow remarked.
"You looted the two clones and that padawan you killed?!" Jack snapped.
"I'm surprised that he managed to do so without us seeing it," Yusei said in a casual tone.
Handing the lightsaber that he looted from Ahsoka over to Kalin, Crow said, "Since this belonged to your underaged alien girlfriend, and since I figured that you may want something to remember her by, and since she most likely would have wanted you to have this, here you go. Try to be careful with it, dude."
"Umm, thanks," Kalin replied in a mildly unsure and confused tone as he slipped Ahsoka's lightsaber onto his belt.
"Guys, I think that we should just wait for the Jedi to get done doing their whatever, and work with them from there," Yusei remarked with a hint of concern in his tone, "I mean, we know next to nothing about this world, and I seriously can't believe that everyone we've talked to so far can speak English like it's no problem, but I think that-"
"Hold that thought," Crow said as he interrupted Yusei with an upheld hand, "I just saw someone suspicious rush past a hallway entrance." Crow wandered over to where he saw the 'suspicious' person rush past, prompting Yusei, Jack and Kalin to follow him. When they caught up to Crow, they heard him mutter, "…Some creepy-looking bald-headed chick."
"What now, Crow?" Yusei asked as he and the other guys caught up to Crow.
"Some creepy-looking bald-headed chick just rushed past here," Crow explained, "I think I saw a pair of lightsaber handles hanging off of the back of her belt."
"She's probably just another Jedi," Yusei said in a dismissive tone.
"…I don't think so," Crow replied in a mildly unsure tone, "The way she was running, the creepy air she gave off…I don't think she's a Jedi. At least a good one."
"So, you think she's a quote unquote 'evil Jedi' then, Birdbrain?" Jack said as he made finger quotes when he said 'evil Jedi'.
"…I think we should track her down and kill her," Crow said to the other guys, "We owe it to the cool Jedi dudes who are being real bros to us."
"You're seriously suggesting that we run in guns a blazing to kill who is most likely a highly trained and experienced fighter who possesses some degree and number of telekinetic powers?" Jack said.
"Dude, I learned my lesson from the last time we played Heroes of the Storm," Crow replied, "We're going to use a mix of stealth and guerrilla tactics to take her out." As he looked around, Crow noticed two cloaks hanging on hooks in the hallway. Both cloaks had really large hoods. An idea forming in his mind, Crow said, "…And maybe throw in a bit of deceit in as well."
In a remote part of some large building on Coruscant, Asajj Ventress met with an older man wearing a robe with a hood, the hood casting his face in shadow so that only the bottom half of his face was visible. "So, you are Count Dooku's master," the dathomirian assassin said as she regarded the robed individual. Bowing in a respectful manner, Assaj continued in a tone that carried just the barest hint of disdain, "It is truly an honor to meet you, Darth Sidious."
"Curb your tongue, youngling," the robed individual, apparently named Sidious, snarled, "It would be wise to watch your tone in my presence."
"…Apologies, my lord," Assaj replied in a casually apologetic tone that, to a knowing person, wasn't seriously apologetic, "I came here only to assist you with your business here."
"As did we," a young adult male voice called out, catching both Assaj and Sidious off guard. It was at that point that two men, one noticeably taller than the other, walked into view for the two sith lords. Both wore hooded robes similar to Sidious, so you can only see the lower halves of their faces. These two men were actually Crow and Jack, acting in an attempt to distract Assaj and Sidious while Yusei and Kalin worked in the background. It had been Crow who had spoken out to get the attention of the two sith lords.
Crow held up his right hand in a gesture of greeting, and proceeded to carry out a plan that he was coming up with on the fly, using bits of info he heard from the two sith lords not moments ago. "Greetings, fellow lords," Crow said, "I am Darth Dragon." Gesturing to Jack who stood next to him on his right, Crow continued, "And this is my apprentice, Darth Queef." Jack merely growled in an annoyed, angry tone, not daring to act as he normally would have in a situation like this. (8)
"How did you two track us down?" Sidious demanded, "Furthermore, how come I cannot sense your presence through the force? If I didn't know any better, I'd go so far as to say that neither of you are even force sensitive."
"That would be due to a little something my apprentice discovered and developed," Crow explained to the dark lord of the sith as he continued to use information that he was literally getting on the fly, "He learned how one who is force sensitive can completely mask their connection to the force, allowing them to hide from nosy Jedi. I picked the technique up myself, and because of it, the two of us have yet to even be suspected of being sith."
"…Interesting," Sidious remarked as he took a step forward, "That does sound like a marvelous ability indeed." Turning to face Jack, Sidious said, "You are clearly wise beyond your years if you were able to come up with such an invaluable skill, Lord Queef."
"Th…thank you, Lord Sidious," Jack said, barely remembering the dark lord's name from overhearing it a few short moments ago.
"It is indeed an interesting skill," Assaj remarked as she turned to properly face Crow and Jack, "One that will serve us well in our-" The nightsister was cut off when blaster fire coming from her right came in, catching her unawares and striking her multiple times, with one hit even being a fatal headshot. Shocked, Sidious turned to face the direction the blaster fire came from; as a result, the dark lord of the sith saw Yusei and Kalin shooting at him and the late Assaj with a DC-15A blaster (Yusei) and a pair of DC-17 hand blasters (Kalin).
"Foolish would-be heroes!" Sidious exclaimed as he used the force to grab ahold of a parked personal flying cruiser and throw it at Yusei and Kalin. Kalin managed to duck out of the way, but Yusei, who threw his two-handed blaster gun to the side out of surprise, was unable to move away in time. As such, the flying vehicle landed on top of him, crushing him to death.
While Sidious was distracted, Crow and Jack threw off their cloaks and took one DC-17 hand blaster each off of the sides of their respective belts. "Surprise, cockbag!" Crow exclaimed as he and Jack fired at Sidious. The dark lord took out his lightsaber, activated it, and proceeded to block all of the shots that came from Crow and Jack with his red blade. "Huh, well what do you know?" Crow remarked in a causal tone as he and Jack continued to open fire on Sidious, "There really are red lightsabers."
"You two are not sith!" Sidious exclaimed in disgust as he continued to block the shots fired by Crow and Jack, "You're not even force sensitive! What are you-" As Sidious continued to block the shots fired by the two men in front of him, he had completely forgotten about Kalin, mostly because, out of arrogance, Sidious assumed that Kalin was dead as well. But this was far from the truth, as Kalin cut Sidious off mid-rant by opening fire on him on his right side.
This caught the sith lord completely by surprise, and after he took a few hits from Kalin, his stance dropped, allowing Crow and Jack to get some hits in. After a few more seconds of firing upon him, Jack, Crow and Kalin successfully killed Darth Sidious. After the dark lord's lifeless body fell to the floor, Crow said as he walked over to Sidious's body, "This fucker killed Yusei, so I'm taking his lightsaber as compensation."
"You were bloody going to take his lightsaber anyway, Birdbrain," Jack remarked as Crow looted Sidious's lightsaber.
"How the hell are we going to explain to Akiza that her husband is dead?" Kalin asked as he walked over to pick up the blaster rifle that Yusei discarded out of surprise before he was crushed to death by the force-thrown flying vehicle.
"We tell her to chill her tits until the next chapter," Crow replied in a casual tone as he was currently looting Assaj for her lightsabers. Turning on both of the late dathomirian's lightsabers, Crow's expression lit up with red light and delighted surprise as he saw that both lightsabers had red blades. "Sweet," Crow said as he turned off the lightsabers and threw them and the lightsaber he looted from Sidious into his bag.
As the three remaining guys were trying to regain their bearings, a group of clone troopers came running into the room, ready for a fight. Leading them was Anakin Skywalker, who looked surprise to see Jack, Crow and Kalin. "You're three of the four heroes who killed General Grievous," Anakin remarked, "What are you doing here in this hanger room over at Holy shit is that Assaj Ventress?"
Looking to where Anakin was pointing, Jack said, "Yeah, this here dead woman was talking to the other dead person before my friends and I killed both of them."
"The dead guy used the force to levitate some large flying vehicle here in the hanger over to where Yusei and Kalin were hiding behind cover to fire at them," Crow said, "Kalin got out of the way just in time, but Yusei was unfortunately crushed to death. But we did manage to kill both the dead guy and the dead woman."
"I'm sorry to hear that your friend was killed," Anakin said in a sympathetic tone, "But if he died in the process of killing Assaj Ventress, then he died a true hero." Looking to where the late Darth Sidious laid, Anakin pointed to his body and said to the remaining guys, "You said that Assaj was talking to that man. What's his name?"
"I believe that Assage woman said his name was Darth Sidious," Crow remarked.
"It's pronounced 'Assaj', Birdbrain," Jack pointed out.
"Darth Sidious?" Anakin said in a confused tone, "Another sith lord?" As Anakin continued to question the remaining guys, Obi-Wan and Mace came running in.
"What's going here?" Obi-Wan asked, prompting Anakin and the remaining guys to turn and face the two Jedi masters.
Gesturing to Jack, Crow and Kalin, Anakin said, "These three, who are responsible for killing General Grievous, have not only just killed Assaj Ventress, but a sith lord apparently named Sidious. Sadly, the fourth person of their group was killed in the process."
"Your friend will be given full honors in a memorial ceremony," Mace said to Jack, Crow and Kalin, "But more to the point at hand." Turning to where the two dead sith laid on the floor, Mace exclaimed, "I am sick and tired of these motherfucking sith lords on this motherfucking capital home world!"
"This is undoubtedly another great boon to the republic's efforts in the war," Anakin remarked, "Although if one of them had been captured alive, we would have been able to gain information out of them that would have surely helped out."
"Anakin is right," Obi-Wan said, "The information that we could have gotten out of either sith would have been invaluable." To the remaining guys, Obi-Wan continued, "I know that you guys are nowhere near as experienced in fighting the sith as us Jedi, and that your friend was killed in the process of killing Assaj and that Sidious fellow, but couldn't you all have at least attempted to take one of them alive? Did they both really deserve to die?"
"Yes, they deserved to die!" Mace exclaimed, "And I hope they burn in hell!"
Sometime in the afternoon over at the Atlas penthouse, a tear appeared in the fabric of space over in the living room. Stepping out of the tear was Jack, Crow and Kalin, with Crow putting away his pair of Dimensional Scissors. After the tear faded away, the remaining guys noticed that Luna was hogtied and hanging upside down from the ceiling. Looking over a way, the guys saw Leo, Lori and an Empoleon standing there in the living room.
"Why is Leo's sister hanging upside down from the ceiling, and what's the neighbor girl's Empoleon doing here?" Kalin asked.
"Not one minute after you guys left, Luna here literally started defying my authority as her, Leo's and Alphonse's nanny," Lori explained, "On her own, she was giving me more trouble than the rest of my siblings combined whenever I would look after them when our parents go out for date night."
"Then Myde here wandered over to the penthouse because Ailor apparently doesn't mind it in the least if her on-hand Pokémon free roam," Leo continued as he jerked a thumb at the Empoleon that was standing in the living room, "Myde saw Luna giving Lori trouble, and he apparently didn't like that, so he used Grass Knot to trip Luna up. Lori then hogtied Luna up and hung her to the ceiling."
"It was in the instructions that Dean Crow left me concerning Luna," Lori explained to Jack and Kalin. Turning to specifically regard Crow, Lori continued, "You were literally right, Dean Crow. Your Luna is nowhere near as cool as my Luna." Myde the Empoleon then proceeded to gently nuzzle against Lori, practically rubbing his forehead into the side of Lori's face. "Aww," Lori said as she turned around to gently pet Myde, "Aren't you a sweetie, helping me get the kids I'm looking after under control. …Well, helping me with the one problem child."
"Yeah, Ailor said that her Empoleon here is a real sweetheart," Crow remarked, "Of course, she said that in the sense that out of all of her Pokémon from the Sinnoh region, her Empoleon has the lowest kill count at seventeen." (9) Hearing that the Pokémon that she was petting had a kill count, Lori looked shocked and a little worried. She immediately withdrew the hand she was using to pet the friendly but potentially dangerous Empoleon.
"Can you guys let me down now?" Luna asked, "The blood's starting to rush to my head."
"Here Lori," Crow said as he took out one of the many lightsabers that he got on Coruscant, "Use this to cut the rope and get Luna down."
"What is that, Dean Crow?" Lori asked as she regarded the inactive lightsaber with a confused and curious look.
"The guys and I just got back from adventuring in some futuristic space land with space wizards and flying vehicles and all that jazz," Crow said as he proceeded to empty out all of the gear he and the other guys collected while they were on Coruscant. When Crow was done, there were four hand blasters, two two-handed blasters, and nine lightsabers, counting the one he handed over to Lori. (10)
"Just turn it on and use it to cut the rope," Crow explained as he turned on the lightsaber that he picked up, revealing a blue blade.
"Yeah, Crow collected all of these weapons from various folks that we killed during our adventure," Jack remarked, "I highly-" Jack was cut off when Leo picked up a lightsaber and turned it on, revealing a purple blade. "…They come in purple?" Jack said in a surprised and mildly confused tone.
"Oh yeah," Crow said in a sheepish tone, "I stole that one from the dark-skinned fellow who kept shouting random obscenities."
END, CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Author's Notes:
1. From what I could see, Leo and Luna don't have an actual last name, so I decided to make one up for them. Wundertwin is what I came up with.
2. Happy, young lady? Lori didn't use 'literally' that time.
3. He's got a point.
4. Yusei is right…from a certain point of view.
5. When even Crow looks at you weird, you know that you just said something stupid.
6. If you think about it, Obi-Wan also looks like a revered, legendary actor.
7. She's been living with them for less than a few days, and already Lori is having some degree of influence on the guys of the penthouse.
8. Which would involve beating Crow senseless.
9. Ailor's Sinnoh Pokémon in order from who has the lowest number of kills to who has the highest number of kills; Empoleon (17), Dialga (18), Abomasnow (21), Electivire (28), Gliscor (32), Magmortar (8000+).
10. Crow gave Ahsoka's lightsaber to Kalin, remember?
I just felt loads of continuity call out in great pain, but then was suddenly silenced. Anywho, in case you were wondering, Yusei and the other guys arrived just shortly after The Malevolence was taken out, so their adventures happened in the very early parts of season one. As for the next chapter, it'll be a hoot if I have anything to say about it.
Playing spy in Beverly Hills has never been so interesting.