Chapter 21

usagi has been on the Finalizer for just over two weeks. As love spread through out the ship. Everyone finding someone. It's been five days since he last saw her and, while he hasn't precisely grown accustomed to the ache in his chest or the pull in his limbs, he's managed to keep from doing anything tooegregious. He avoids thinking of Wylan. he knows he would not be able to keep from beating the man bloody. This is too personal for the Force. The next time that excuse for a man steps one toe out of line, Kylo will use his fists. And he will enjoy it.

He's been training every morning with Vitok and that has helped more than he thought it would. The first day he hadn't said much, opting to deflect her gently probing questions. But by the fourth morning she'd coaxed him into opening up about usagi and, before he'd realized it, an hour had passed. Just being able to talk about her had eased the pain of missing her. He'd found himself smiling a few times when he told Vitok of usagi love of sweets and his hopes for their future. He's not been able to stop seeing zoycite anguished green eyes, though. He won't risk losing usagi by admitting what he did, but he finds himself wanting to do something for the stormtrooper. It puzzles and unsettles him, so he tries not to think on it.

Usagi hasn't invited him to see her, as she'd suggested she might. Clearly she has accepted his desire that she wait until she is truly ready to see him. The hope that she would invite him back in had taunted him, even as he'd known he wasn't ready to handle lying to her face. Because that is the place he has found himself. His need to hide his actions has created a situation in which he willlie to her. He never thought, for even one moment, that he would lie to usagi. So much of what he believes about himself has been falling away. He's shocked by the lengths he will go to keep her, to have her, even as he pushes away the knowledge that he's standing on shifting sands.

Meanwhile the following

Kylo nods his agreement. Maybe he might even have the opportunity to show her what he's trying to accomplish. Eshara has been with the First Order for just over a year and has been thriving. He'll need to delve more deeply into the reasons behind the simmering dissent. As the hologram of his knights appeared before him. It was time for his report from them. He wishes he could see usagi he missed her.

"Supreme Leader," said Jashad's

"Jashad Ren." Said kylo

"I'm afraid it's not good news. Lann Tren had already left Dashrah when we arrived. Apparently she returned to the spice several months ago." Said Jashad

Behind his mask Kylo swears under his breath. This will devastate usagi. Sure she wanted to know this woman who luke had her reborn to, but this would break her heart. Oh how he hated his uncle. The man could atleast gave her good parents. But no he had to have her reborn to the scum of the freaking universe.

"Were you able to find anything useful?" asked kylo

"Yes, she had to provide her place of birth when she joined the Order of the K'Ruhr. Additionally, they believe that she went to Coruscant." Said Jashad

Usagi vile mother had been on Coruscant when they'd been there seeking Sylten Qree? The Force mystifies him, sometimes. But usagi has her true parents the ones who love her. And mayuri her blood adoptive father. But she was curious about the women like chose to have her reborn with. He hated that it had to be that way. Luke could of gave her better people. But no he had to make her think he was a hero so she would fall for him. But it turned against him,

"Where was usagi mother born?" asked kylo

"Preslan. There is one other item; she also told them when usagi was born." Said Jashad

usagi birthday? Well the birthdate that she was reborn 's certain she has no idea what her date of birth actually is. He believes she is 20, but he's not sure. She was far older than him. Just knowing the birthday she was born into was nice to know.

"And?" asked kylo

"She was born on the twelfth day of the fourth month. She'll be 21 on her next birthday. Well thecone she was reborn into." Said Jashad

That's soon. That's very soon. Will she allow him to see her by then? Her birthday … he will be able to give her very first birthday present. Well one in this life was reborn into because of his bastard uncle. He smiles softly as he thought on all sort of things that he could give her. Plus he could ask some of the others what to do or to get.

"Thank you, Jashad," said kylo

"We only wish that Lann Tren was still on Dashrah. What are your orders, sir?" asked Jashad

"Head to Coruscant, try and locate her. Keep me informed of any progress." Said kylo

"Yes, sir." Said Jashad

The hologram flickers off and Kylo contemplates the empty space. Preslan. It's quite remote, nowhere near Eshara. But perhaps Rey has grandparents on Preslan. Hux would have kittens if he ordered the Finalizer away from their current mission to handle the brewing unrest. He smirks as he thinks that at least the general's cat would have company. What's that ridiculous beast's name? Molly? Mildred?

He quickly keys in an order to the analysts to request any records from Preslan for the name Tren and children born on the twelfth day of the fourth month, 21 years ago. If he's lucky, usagi was born on Preslan as well. If he finds relatives, then he will have them head to Lann Tren's home world. Hux won't like it, but he'll deal with that as it comes. He places his elbows on his desk and steeples his fingers. Kylo begins to plan. Her birthday …

Kylo is back in his quarters. He'd spent the afternoon planning a surprise for usagi, and then worked well into the evening, reviewing reports on First Order expansion. Spending so much time thinking of usagi has significantly buoyed his spirits. And now it is time to write to her. He changes into his sleeping attire and settles into his preferred chair with his datapad.

She's been studying the holocrons, practicing with zoycite and some of the others. He finds he likes the idea of the young women poring over the ancient knowledge. True, zoycite is not Force sensitive, but she does have a strong mind and has proven herself to be a loyal companion for his beloved. Along with everyone else.

I'm pleased that you are enjoying the holocrons. I'm certain that you and zoycite and the making good progress with lightsaber forms. I hope that you will show me one day. We are presently en route to Eshara. I do not wish to press you to see me; however, I know that you find life on a ship difficult. Would you consider allowing me to escort you to the surface once I have attended to official matters?

I think of you every moment of every day, usagi

He sends his message and leans his head against the back of his chair. He closes his eyes and imagines usagi Maker, he misses her. He's only strayed to her door once and caught himself quickly. He hopes she hadn't felt him, he truly does not wish to cross any more lines.

He's still horrified by his actions and they prick at his conscience. He'd tried to tell himself that he didn't do anything all that wrong by taking zoycite memories, she is of the First Order after all. But he knows it's a lie and he's stopped even attempting to soothe himself in that way. All he can do is channel his shame into comporting himself as usagi deserves, by letting her be and waiting. It hurts, oh it hurts, but the pain is welcome, in a way. He deserves to long for her, just as he knows he does not deserve to touch her. But he will. Once she allows it, he will touch every inch, claim every part of her with his lips and his hands.

The ambivalence he felt at learning that she thinks she could love him the way that he had is receding. In its place is a beautiful, fragile, tremulous hope. The idea that she might look at him with those perfect eyes full of love, for him… well, it's intoxicating. He conjures the image of her face, flush with desire, her lips red and plump from his kisses. Her eyes had been liquid with heat and he remembers how she had gasped as he sucked against the delicate skin of her throat. Her little moans and mewls of pleasure had inflamed him like no other sound could.

He feels himself respond to his fantasies, and how he wants to give in. But she's just down the hall. That thought both excites him and keeps him in check. She's so close. She might even already be in her nightgown. Has she found his favorite yet? It's sheer and a midnight blue. He can almost see her pert breasts straining against the material and now he's aching with need. He imagines her pink nipples showing through the thin fabric. How long before he will again run his hands along her supple skin? How long before she allows him to take those exquisite breasts into his hungry mouth?

He's stroking himself through his sleeping pants before he really thinks of it. He should stop what if she peaked through the Bond, right now, and sees how he's pleasuring himself? The thought shouldshame him, but instead he quickens his movements. It's deliciously erotic to think of usagi sensing him, joininghim. It's been such a long time, and it's growing more difficult to fight how he reacts to her nearness. He wants to wait, but it feels so good and Force, he needs her … Oh usagi … Then, out of the corner of his eye he sees the alert. She's already written back? The reality of her closeness crashes into his fantasy and he feels caught like an adolescent. He snatches his hand away from his erection and he senses heat rise in his cheeks. He steadies his erratic breathing and opens her message.

I would like to feel the sun on my face and the sand under my feet. Would it be alright if zoycite came with us? She told me she's never been outside without her helmet.

It will be nice to see you.

The reminder of zoycite changes his mood rapidly, but usagi has agreed to see him! She even sounds like she truly wants to spend time with him. He wishes she had not asked to bring zoycite. The stormtrooper will fear him, and he'll have to face his guilt while he'd much prefer to focus on usagi. However, it is a small way he may begin to address the profound wrong he has done this brave woman who cares for his love. usagi won't want the stormtrooper to wear her armor, so zoycite will need suitable clothing, meant for her taller frame. He will make arrangements in the morning. He wonders … If he wrote back tonight, might she gift him with another message before she goes to sleep?

Then you shall walk through the desert with zoycite at your side. And myself, if you will permit me. I will ensure she has appropriate attire. She should know what it is to feel the wind in her hair.

I will count every minute until I see you again. You must know how I've missed you. I love you so very much.

Before he can second guess himself, he sends his words. He hopes he's not been too bold. Suddenly he wants to call his message back, but it's too late. Now he's filled with anxiety. He's been so carefulnot to push, but she's going to let him see her, she'd asked him to do something for her, she's letting him back in. The words had just tumbled from his fingers. he'd promised himself he wouldn't push. He's not precisely sure if he has. But he plans on accepting each invitation as it comes. He won't assume a single day in her company means her door is open to him. Usagi will set the pace; he will allow her to come to him. Kylo waits for her response. He tries to research Eshara, but he keeps checking what must be every few seconds, not able to concentrate. Finally, he accepts she won't write back tonight. He's frightened her away. He never should have told her how much he misses her, how much he loves her. Why can he never control himself? He falls into a fitful sleep, angry and ashamed.

Meanwhile the following day

There's been nothing while he and Vitok trained. He'd forgotten his gloves in his rooms, so he's on his way back to his quarters. He comes around the corner and freezes. Usagiis coming the other direction. She's looking down, she's not seen him. He can't breathe. he hasn't seen her in days. She's wearing the gray dress with the leaves patterned across the material and her hair is the same.

He drinks in the sight of her before remembering himself. He should turn and walk the other direction. He doesn't want to pressure her. Too late, she's seen him. Her eyes widen and he can't read her expression. He says nothing, wanting to give her the option to simply go into her quarters. So he stands, watching her. The ribbon is around her neck. As far as he knows, she never takes it off.

He doesn't quite understand why it means so much to her―surely it must make her remember a night spent in conflict. He still doesn't know how to feel about how she'd assumed he was trying to bribe her, buyher. usagi blinks and neither of them move. He refuses to speak; this is up to her. So he stands, waiting. Finally she starts to walk towards him stiltedly. She seems almost reluctant and it hurts. He doesn't want her to come to him out of obligation, coincidence. When she's a few feet away she stops and looks up at him. Belatedly he realizes he's wearing his helmet and he swiftly pulls it from his face. The smallest of smiles hints at her lips.

"Hi," chirped usagi

"Hello, usagi." Said kylo

"I'm sorry I haven't written back yet. I didn't know what to say." Said usagi

"Why not?" asked kylo

"Because … nothing sounded right." Said usagi

"I didn't over step did i.?" asked kylo

He's pulled into her orbit and his hands twitch with the need to reach for her. But he doesn't; he never wants to take anything else without her agreement. She was here right before him, Khan how he was bathing in her light. He wanted to hold her. Perhaps she had been nervous, just as Vitok said. Another slight smile pulls at her mouth.

"No, but it's awfully sweet that you worried about that. I have noticed that you've done everything I asked. I really am grateful." Said usagi

"Then it's alright, us speaking like this?" asked kylo

"Yes. It just happened. Why are you here right now, anyway? Aren't you usually on the bridge at this hour?" asked usagi

"I was training with Vitok, I forgot my gloves. What were you … ah, may I ask what brought you from your rooms? I didn't realize you wandered without zoycite or anyone else." Said kylo

"I don't need a chaperone." Snapped usagi

"That's not what I meant! I was … I was only curious," said kylo

"Oh. Sorry. I was just taking a walk. I've been doing that, picking a new deck and walking. You really didn't know?" Said usagi

"No … I've not been following your movements. The last time I knew anything of where you've been was when you called for me six days ago." Said kylo

Giving her time has become his only way to atone; it an act of contrition, devotion. Usagi smiled about that day. Oh her little draco is now married. Kylo knew that smile she was overjoyed over her son being happy. And it seemed his other two knights are soul mates to two other daughters. Momoko and scarlett. So much of their mother in them, even her sons are the same.

"I hope … I hope it wasn't confusing, that I reached out to you like that then kept to myself." Said usagi

It had actually been a relief to have the time to get himself in order, but he can't tell her that, not without explaining why. Somehow, controlling himself has allowed him to feel that in some small way he's apologizing, punishing himself with the pain of her absence.

"No. I asked you not to see me until you were ready. I meant that. I know that helping zoycite entitled me to nothing." Said kylo

"Thank you." Said usagi

"You already thanked me for my assistance, which was unnecessary. I will always do anything I can for you simply because I lo- … because," said kylo

"I wasn't just thanking you for that. I was thanking you for … well, everything. For giving me space, for using zoycite name instead of that horrid string of letters and numbers, for agreeing to take her with us … All of it. I feel like … I feel like you're finally listening to me." Said usagi

There's a stab of sharp cold in his chest. She's giving him credit he does not deserve. He'd not listened to her―he'd felt so guilty that he'd stayed away as penance, out of fear. Not because he really understands her desire to be away from him. But perhaps he can try, now, to truly listen. He will ask Vitok to help him. he clears his throat nervously.

"What did you mean, before? That nothing sounded right when you tried to write back?" asked kylo

"Oh. I meant that … I meant that you'd been so … candid, that everything I could think to say felt … inadequate. I guess … I … I've missed you, too." Said usagi

She's missed him? She seems vaguely embarrassed and he realizes her earlier demeanor had been because she was shy. He finds his heart racing and somehow he's drawn quite close. He reaches out a trembling hand, wanting so badly to touch her.

"Oh, usagi," said kylo

"No, it's alright." Said usagi

usagi takes his hand in hers. She holds his eyes and he's lost in the blue he finds. Her features are so delicate, her skin so fine. He's not sure how a life of hardship could have produced such a winsome creature, but she is absolute perfection.

"I've missed you so much," said kylo

"I know, I've wanted to see you, too." Said usagi

"You have?" asked kylo

"Of course I have. I've told you, I … care for you. It was always hard to keep the Bond closed. It still is," said usagi

"I …" gasped kylo

"I've had an idea. Something that might make this easier on both of us." Said usagi

"Yes?" asked kylo

"I get overwhelmed by you. Just this, in the hallway, I can't think straight. I don't want to lose myself." Said usagi

"You mean that, don't you?" asked kylo

"I do. After all, you do always tell me the truth." Chirped usagi

He's not sure anything has ever been more difficult than keeping his expression neutral, and not confessing his crimes is agony. But he manages. But if usagi was going to come up with a idea to come and help him with this.

"What was your idea?" asked kylo

"I know that it was the question of when you would see me that makes this so hard on you, but I'm not ready to see you every day. So I thought, after Eshara, we could have dinner once a week? I don't like being apart, but I also don't know how to be with you. Seeing you every night was too much. It was going too fast. What do you think?" asked usagi

At first he doesn't like it at all. A handful of hours to last him days? Perhaps she might consider two evenings a week? No, no, he won't press. He will take what she gives. Besides, this way he will be able to see her, regularly. Now it will be possible for him to ask her to dine with him on her birthday. He'd been afraid that all he would be permitted to do was give her gift. Or gifts. He hasn't decided.

He squeezes her hand and makes sure that she's looking at him before speaking.

"I think that would be wonderful." Said kylo

"Really? You'll accept that?" asked usagi

"I want to be with you however you will permit me to be." Said kylo

"I'm glad we ran into each other." Chirped usagi

"As am I." purred kylo

He strokes his thumb across her wrist he wanted to pull to him. But he was finally getting out of the dog house now. The Bond hums happily and the bands around his heart start to lessen. Oh he is so happy right now.

"You said that you would make sure zoycite has clothes for Eshara?" asked usagi

"Yes, they are being delivered today. There wasn't time for anything other than standard issue officer's attire. I could … I could arrange for a proper wardrobe for her. If you would like." Said kylo

"Really?" asked usagi

"Would it please you?" said kylo

"It would please zoycite. Plus I gave her title back. It was a long argument with everyone. But they all decided to give it back." Said usagi

"Which would please you." Said kylo

"Yes … yes it would. She won't get in trouble?" asked usagi

"No, I've issued standing orders that zoycite be allowed out of uniform whenever she wishes. I also took the liberty of informing the ship not to question you or hinder your movements." Said kylo

"You did?" asked usagi

"I did not want a repeat of the events in the corridor." Said kylo

"That was … that was kind of you." Said usagi

"I only want to make you happy." Said kylo

"I know." Said usagi

She shifts their hands and laces her fingers with his. There is an intimacy to the gesture that makes his breath hitch. He realizes they've been simply standing in the hallway for quite some time, but he doesn't want to let her go.

"We will arrive at Eshara tomorrow. I have First Order matters I must attend to, but the following day we will go to the surface." Said kylo

He'd much prefer to take her tomorrow, but he wants to ensure the situation is well in hand. The Supreme Leader's companion would be all too tempting a target. He wishes she would let him train her, if only so that she could better defend herself. The warmth that's infused the energy around them dims.

"What is it, usagi?" asked usagi

"Will the knights be coming?" asked usagi

"No, I had not thought you would … appreciate that." Said kylo

"I don't mind most of them, but I don't particularly want to see Wylan." Said usagi

"No, he will most certainly not be accompanying us." Said kylo

His contemptuous tone leaves no doubt as to his feelings about Wylan Ren. Wylan will never lay eyes on her again if he can help it. Usagi nodded to that. She nods her head once, firmly. It's rather rewarding to see how much she dislikes Wylan.

"Then, if there is nothing else, I shall leave you to your day." Said kylo

"Wait!" said usagi

"Yes?" asked kylo

"I … you just … I want …" said usagi

"What is it?" asked usagi

"I just … I haven't seen you in so long, I thought … don't you want …" said usagi

usagi very flustered and he's quite confused. He wants to soothe her, but he doesn't know what's wrong. He's not sure if he should reach for her, comfort her, but her distress makes the decision for him and he's pulling her into his arms. She positively melts into him.

"I wasn't ready to be parted, at least not without … this." Said usagi

Her words are muffled by his clothing. He's sure she can feel his heart hammer beneath his ribs. She's told him she feels the pull, too, but somehow he's never been able to believe she struggles as he does. Clearly she must be affected, as she's almost burrowing into his embrace and the Bond weaves around them.

"I did not want to presume." Said kylo

"I think, maybe you can presume. I … I've never felt anything like how it feels when we touch." Said usagi

"No, nor have I. Please know that the only thing that kept me from gathering you to me was the fear you would not welcome that," said kylo

he says into her hair. He'd thought she would make him wait for days, maybe weeks, before she would again want to be close in this way. He certainly deserves his exile. she draws even closer to him, and then she reaches up and pulls his face to hers. He's not quite caught up when she's kissing him and oh it is glorious. Her lips are soft and he gasps as she is the one to press her tongue into his mouth. She tastes of fruit, and he smiles through their kisses. He pulls her flush against him. She lets out a little squeak of surprise and he chuckles darkly. Her hands are in his hair and he doesn't even try to suppress the moan her touch evokes. Her fingers run along his scalp, gently pulling at his locks. Oh, stars, he wants to lift her in his arms and take her to her rooms, lay her down and finally feel their skin pressed together. He could kiss her for hours, days. She fits so perfectly against him and his whole body is thrumming with heat.

Oh, my usagi. I love you, I love you, I love you. He must slow down the tempest threatening to take them both. The tension between them is always so strong; reason leaves once they're caught in the tide. She's beginning to writhe against him and it would be so easy to take advantage. But she would never forgive him if he took her in the corridor. He would never forgive himself. He gentles his kisses, slowing the fervent movement of his lips until he pulls back, giving her one last caress as he presses her head against his chest. He's breathing quickly and her quiet pants do nothing for his control.

"I don't know what came over me … I'm sorry," said usagi

"Never apologize for that. I think that this Bond is very powerful." Purred kylo

He remembers that she still believes it's the Bond that influences her feelings and he pushes away the cut of her rejection that always stalks him. He traces her cheek with his fingers and tightens his arm against her back. He holds her eyes intensely.

"No … Bond or no, I would still want you like this. My feelings are real―nothing can change them." Said kylo

She blinks up at him slowly and he thinks he finds hope in her eyes. At least that's what he wishes she's feeling. He wants her to believe in the depth of his devotion. The Bond is only a manifestation of how connected he feels to her, has always felt.

"usagi … the Bond … it simply pulls us together. But I think I would have sought you just as avidly without it. You … you are what I have always needed. Being with you makes everything else meaningless. It's just you, always you." Said kylo

"I just wish I knew how the Bond affects us. I hate feeling like I'm being controlled." Said usagi

"I know you do. But, is it so very wrong, what's between us? This is precious. You are precious." Said kylo

"I'm still very confused, but I will keep trying. Keep trying to believe you, to make sense of this." Said usagi

It is everything. As long as she lets him see her, hold her, kiss her, he can wait as long as he must.

Gently, they pull apart. Without discussing it, he walks her to her door.

"I guess I'll see you soon, then," said usagi

"Yes," said kylo

he says lowly. She's so beautiful and he knows he won't struggle so, now that he knows when he will see her. But he needed a freaking cold shower. But damn he was out of the dog house somewhat, as he kissed her and rushed to his room and pulled his cock out and jerked it. He was to fucking hard to ignore it.

Meanwhile the following day

The shuttle lands as close as they dare. Villagers on speeders are just arriving and the smoke stings his eyes as they walk down the ramp. While usagi was looking around with curiosity. Draco was doing the same thing, but why did she bring her locket for. It's as if she was ready for a fight.

"usagi, you will stay close," ordered kylo

Kylo trying to catch her eyes. This entire enterprise has his senses tingling and he wants to drag her back to the Finalizer. But she'd brought up her right to choose and the weight of those words will likely always turn the tide. usagi rolls her eyes and huffs with exasperation.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. Look, everyone is trying to get to the injured. No one is going to look at us twice." Said usagi

The fact that zoycite is now armed, having pulled two blasters from the shuttle, mollifies him somewhat. The stormtrooper continues to shadow usagi as she had in the village, training taking over. All of her trepidation left her the moment they'd heard the explosion, and her eyes are alert.

Survivors are staggering from the rubble and usagi immediately ignores his request that she stay near as she darts to help a dazed worker, covered in blood and grime. He swiftly follows and helps usagi, putting the man's arm over his shoulder. They guide him to an area relatively clear of debris where a few of the injured have already begun to gather. Zoycite takes up a guard position and Kylo stays close to usagi.

"Here, let me see," said usagi

usagi checks him over and finds nothing beyond the gash over his eye. The strange silver light of her silver crystal healing power pools from her fingertips and the bleeding stops. He remembers how she'd healed him when the threat to his life had triggered this increase in her abilities. Her potential is limitless. He feels a flair of frustration at her stubborn refusal to train with him. The rescuers and injured watch her work, some furtively and others with open astonishment.

"Stay here, don't move. You're likely in shock so you'll need to wait for the medical teams. They're going to be here soon, I promise," said usagi

A few of the injured who saw usagi healing the man begin to gather. She was in her cosmos form since it pushes more of her power out, She's inspecting the arm of another worker, bent at an unnatural angle. usagi doesn't look up from her work as she says,

"Kylo, go help them pull out survivors." Said usagi

"I'm not leaving you." Said kylo

Now she is looking at him. Those blue eyes will be the death of him. Just then there is a horrible screeching sound as a portion of the mining equipment loses its battle with gravity and comes crashing down. A wave of screaming fills the air. usagi jumps to her feet, about to move to the sound. That is not going to happen. At least here she's far from the unstable structures. It would be impossible for him to function if she insists on putting herself even closer to danger. He can tell by the set of her shoulders that she won't stay put unless he acts.

"Stay I will go," said Kylo

"I can help!" said usagi

"Please, stay. Your healing will be more helpful here. I need you safe. Do notargue." Demanded kylo

Usagi pouts and juts out her chin and is about to mount another argument when a woman with a horrific gash along her abdomen is laid in front of usagi. She's moaning and bleeding profusely. usagi eyes widen and she's on her knees in an instant. Usagi shoulders droop for a moment. Already beginning to heal the mortally wounded worker. Kylo won't give her a chance to change her mind so he sets off swiftly towards the calls for help. As he moves, he says over his shoulder,

"zoycite, if she tries to follow, have szayel sedate her." Ordered kylo

"Yes, sir." Said zoycite

"I HEARD THAT ASSHOLE!" yelled usagi

The last thing he hears before he's out of earshot is usagi furious. As he approaches the twisted pile of metal, he sees that a team of rescuers are pinned beneath the wreckage and a group of survivors is trying, and failing, to get to them. Where the hell are the stormtroopers? A few of the helpers look his direction, but most ignore him, continuing to try and pry the workers free.

"You will all back away," ordered kylo

this time with the press of compulsion. The crowd pulls back and he lifts his hands, gathering the Force. Soon, massive beams and destroyed machinery are hovering in the air. He levitates his huge burden away from the injured. The noise of their wails makes him flinch.

The crowd is frozen, slack-jawed in awe. Kylo huffs in frustration.

"Don't just stand there, pull those people to safety! Take them to the front of the mine, the medical teams will be arriving soon," ordered Kylo

soon the survivors are being carried back to where he left usagi and zoycite. The bodies are laid out in rows, and he frowns, realizing there are far more dead than there are living. He scans the whole mine. The smoke is beginning to clear and he sees the extent of the destruction. At the center there is a crater where he presumes the main building once stood. It's surrounded by several half-standing buildings engulfed in flames. He can feel the heat on his face and he's certain most of the workers must have perished instantly. He turns to make his way back to usagi. Leaving her with only zoycite for protection in the middle of all this has him on the edge of panic.

"Sir, sir!"

"Do not touch me!" hissed kylo

He regards the badly injured man. Blood is seeping through the clothing on his side and he can't seem to use his left arm. But he wondered what in the world gave him the right to touch him, he hated the fact that everyone was piling to usagi. It's as if they knew who she really is. He was told there was a limit to her healing powers, and her silver crystal is connected to her very soul. But her power grown since she is the queen now.

"I'm sorry! But sir, I saw what you did. My wife, she was in the mines, you must help me! Do what you did, pull away the rubble!"

The man's eyes are red and tears streak through the black dirt on his face. Kylo needs to get back to usagi. He has no idea what had caused the explosion. Was it simply an accident? Though the First Order has significantly improved the safety of the mines, accidents aren't unheard of. But what if this was the work of the dissidents? What if it's just the beginning? He can barely form the thought of usagi in the vulnerable state of healing with her silver crystal power with only zoycite to guard her. Zoycite is certainly competent, and obviously motivated, but she's still only one person. However, he can only imagine usagi reaction he arrived with a begging Esharan. He's going to have to help this man rescue his wife. He reminds himself firmly that usagi is a survivor, that she isn't helpless.

"usagi," said kylo

"Is everything alright?" asked usagi

"There is a new development, I need to help rescue more workers. Please stay where it's safe." Said kylo

He feels the terrified man pull at his arm and he angrily shakes him off, glaring down at him. The man shrinks back. He doesn't like the fact that he was touching him. And he didn't want his beloved to over do herself. That was going to happen either way since it was something she was known to do from what he was told from who is close to her. And who has come into battle with her.

"Are you sure I can't help?" asked usagi

"You need to keep back. I won't be able to concentrate if I don't know you're alright." Said kylo

"The medical teams with szayel and the others. and stormtroopers have just started arriving. I'll stay here, I promise. You don't need to worry about me. Help them." Said kylo

kyko catches a tendril of … pride? He can't remember the last time someone was proud of him.

Knowing that the stormtroopers have arrived helps calm the clamoring in his brain, demanding he return to her. He's certain that the entire ship knows precisely who usagi is to their Supreme Leader and why it's in everyone's best interest to ensure her safety. Nothing moves faster than gossip.

He turns to the frantic husband.

"Which part of the mine?" asked kylo

"There, the entrance to her section of the mine is under that building,"

Kylo takes in one of the burning buildings at the edge of the epicenter of the explosion. He's not sure how anyone could have survived that. However, there is one way to be sure. He closes his eyes and reaches out with the Force, feeling for any pockets of life. It's as he had supposed, there are very few survivors. Wait … he senses something. He goes further and finds over a dozen beings deep in the earth, directly below the burning building.

"Please, sir, you must help me,"

"I am helping you!" snapped kylo

Now, how to get to the trapped miners? He wonders … he knows how to make fire with the Force … could he put it out? Holding both hands in front of him, he focuses on the waves of the Force, feeling how the flames consume and undulate. His brows draw together in fierce concentration as he quiets the wild feel of the energy. Slowly the fire shrinks and soon there is only the smoldering skeleton of the building. Kylo blinks, a bit surprised that it actually worked. Now he needs to clear away the remnants of the structure. He's never purposefully used his powers for something so significant. He knows that he has the ability, but he's only been able to accomplish such feats when he has been deeply emotionally compromised. He'd destroyed the Jedi Temple in a fit of rage and defeated Snoke while gripped in terror.

"You there, there are miners trapped under that building. I'm about to clear it away. Be ready to move on my command we must get to the survivors swiftly." Ordered kylo

"And who are youto give the First Order commands?"

The soldier's tone is full of contempt and dominance. At first Kylo has difficulty perceiving what has just been said. No stormtrooper has ever dared to speak to him like that. Then he recalls that he's not wearing his mask. Additionally, he's covered in dirt and blood from helping the injured man and the billowing dust. Kylo senses the life signs of a few of the miners begin to stutter and his limited patience is nearing its end. He takes note of the stormtrooper's designation. Ah, FL-4359, the stormtrooper who had apprehended zoycite. This will be quite satisfying.

"FL-4359, you are addressing the SupremeLeader of the First Order. I think you'll find that per section one, regulation Alpha," Hissed kylo

"We will be ready to move on your order, Supreme Leader, sir!"

Kylo can't help his curiosity and dips into his mind. Reconditioning, reconditioning, reconditioning, loops endlessly through his consciousness. Suddenly showing this stormtrooper his place loses its usual enjoyment. But the troopers took notice who he was and was freaking out. That is not what he needed right now.

"Help me ensure these people are saved and there will be no reconditioning," said kylo

"Yes, sir! We'll be ready to move on your order!"

Kylo focuses on the web of the Force that weaves around the duracrete and metal that once made up the destroyed building. He harnesses his power and begins to pull at the rubble. The broken building starts to groan and creak, then a massive chunk comes to his bidding. He sets it down, but it's not enough. At this rate the miners will be long-dead before he can reach them. He's not entirely certain how to accomplish this; his most potent bursts of power have been brought on by fury or fear. But he's not afraid, nor is he angry. He's doing this because it's what u5 would want. He's doing this because he loves her.

He glances at the Esharan, whose eyes are bulging with panic but is letting Kylo work. The man's desperation is palpable and Kylo is momentarily seized by a memory of when he'd destroyed Snoke. That excruciating helplessness he'd felt while pacing the bridge of Snoke's ship, waiting for any scrap of news. He knows what the other man is feeling. He realizes then that he does not want this man's wife to die. He doesn't want any of the trapped miners to die. These aresubjects of the First Order and doesn't that entitle every citizen to his protection? Perhaps usagi is not the only reason he wants to help, but she is the source. Kylo closes his eyes and thinks of usagi, of how much he wants to be worthy of that glimmer of pride he'd felt from her. He concentrates on usagi, how she completes him, balances him. He lets himself fall into that perfect place of peace he feels when she's in his arms, looking into his eyes, letting the Bond flow, and suddenly the Force is gathering quickly. Yes, there it is. He's flooded with energy and he grasps at the shuddering structure. He sends it cascading away with one mighty Force push. He opens his eyes and finds the area above the buried miners is cleared.

Meanwhile a little while later

Kylo stumbles back to the makeshift infirmary. There are stormtroopers and medical workers everywhere, tending to the wounded and laying out the dead. He's exhausted. He'd used the Force when he could, but much of rescuing the miners had been pure physical labor, digging and pulling. His muscles are burning almost pleasantly and there is a glow of satisfaction he hasn't felt since … well, he won't think on that. They'd made it to the workers in time, only losing one. Watching the husband who had begged for his help fold his wife against him had been surprisingly rewarding. He knows exactly how he would have felt if usagi had been trapped like that. He never wants to be in that terrible place ever again. He needs to find her, hold her, reassure himself that usagi is whole.

He's looking for her everywhere, but he can't see her in the midst of the controlled chaos. At this proximity he should be able to sense usagi, but something is shielding her.

"Sir!" cried zoycite

He whips his head towards where the sound came from and finds zoycite running up to him. Zoycite needed to get kylo and fast. He has to stop usagi before she does what she does best. She cant let that happen, so maybe she could get him to stop her, he should be filled in on what happens when usagi over used the silver crystal.

"You have to stop her! " pleaded zoycite

"where is she?" asked kylo

"This way!" said zoycite

Zoycite leads him to usagi, who is deep in a powerful trance, silver healing light pouring from her. It's almost engulfing her patient and Kylo's mouth hangs open as he takes in the destroyed body lying in front of usagi. The worker is missing two limbs and is covered almost entirely with burns.

Two medical officers are trying to reach usagi. Not even szayel is able to get near her, usagi surrounded in some sort of silver shield.

"your highness, stop you can't save him!"

Usagi star on her forehead changed to her golden moon to show her serenity bloodline, but she doesn't react and looks almost gray. Kylo knows what this is. he was told what the power of the silver crystal is able to do. Shes usagi her powers and the silver crystal at first. He'd never thought she'd be so stubborn! The bubble of the power that is keeping everyone from her, however, that he's never seen before. It must be why he couldn't sense her.

"USAGI!" cried kylo

Kylo reaches for her, expecting to be stopped by the shield, but his hands slip through and he kneels behind her, wrapping her in his arms. The power if the silver crystal continues to pour from her hands, but all it appears to be doing is keeping the man breathing sporadically. Kylo needed to get her to stop before something happened. He was worried sick when it came down to the fact that sh will use to much power.

"usagi," whispered kylo

"kylo" asked usagi

"You need to stop. You're hurting yourself," said kylo gently, tightening his arms around her.

"I have to save him!" said usagi

"my usagi … beloved, you can't." said kylo

Usagi huffed as she flexes her fingers and another burst of power cascades into the nearly-dead man. Her power is so strong, it was something he was unable to do. But right now he needed to get her to stop this. He needed her to know this was going to hurt her. Zoycite had reminded him of what the silver crystal power will get to much for her.

"Please, let him go. You're losing yourself. usagi, please, if you keep doing this you might die. I can't lose you. I can't," pleaded kylo

Kylo love and his fear lacing through his words. After revisiting the memories of when he did nearly lose her, it's all too easy to envision. She shudders in his arms and sags back against him, the silver healing light finally stopping. He lets out a slow breath of relief. He buries his face at her neck, needing to touch her skin.

"Help me, help me heal him before it's too late." Pleaded usagi

usagi voice is weak but there is still steel in her tone. He wishes he could; he can sense how desperately she needs to save this person. But it is not within his power. He doesn't have the heart to do this. He knows he is connected to the silver crystal. It recognizes him as its king. But there was just so much fear and worry.

"I … I can't." said kylo

"Can't or won't!" snapped usagi

"Can't. I've never used powers like this before," said kylo

"Then try! Like we did with the fire, you come into me, we'll do it together through the Bond. The silver crystal knows you are my future king." Said usagi

"I ..." said kylo

He doesn't want her to expend any more energy; he wants to finally get her back to the safety of the Finalizer. Before he can get his bearings through the onslaught of feelings, she's pulling him into her. He didn't even know she could do that! She's always come into him before and it's extremelydisorienting. He can feel her body as his own and her bone deep exhaustion and dangerous depletion terrify him. He senses her blinding compassion, how much she must save this man. He's never experienced the light so completely. The power of a lunarian queen. He catches roiling conflict within her, that thick thread of shame he'd hoped had left her, and glints of hope and … devotion? But there's no time to delve into the precious river of usagi.

"Put your hands over mine," said usagi

kylo again reaches her hands over the badly-burned man. He does as she asks, his chest to her back and his arms stretching around her to place his large hands over hers, obscuring them completely from his sight. He senses how she's manipulating the silver crystal, how she's intently focused on bringing this man back to his family, how she won't allow another child to grow up without a parent. He lends her his power and the silver light becomes nearly blinding. As the power of king and queen of the silver kingdom came together. He can't see the man beyond the healing energy, but there is a flurry of activity as medical officers swarm around them. He hears the rhythm of the man breathing strongly.

"usagi my love, I think you did it. He's breathing steadily. Let go." Pleaded kylo

"I have to be sure!" said usagi

"Let go." Said kylo

He gently pulls at her hands and eventually she lets him gather her back against him. He shifts her body so that her head is tucked under his chin. She sags in his arms and loses consciousness.

He stands quickly, holding her as he did on Takodana. As szayel rushed to them and is already scanning her before he can call out for help.

"Is she alright szayel?" asks kylo, his heart beating hard in his chest.

"Yes, yes kylo. She's fine. All her vitals are strong. She's just exhausted. Its normal for this affect with the silver crystal. " said szayel

He's not sure he's ever felt such relief and he clutches her to his chest, comforting himself with the weight of her in his arms. He kisses her temple.

"kylo let's lay her down," said szayel

"No, I'm taking her back to the Finalizer." Said kylo

Kylo looks down on her beloved face. She's pale and drawn, this was the first time he seen the silver crystal in power. But not at its powerful though, and the feeling of it was something to get used to. but her chest rises and falls regularly. Again he presses a kiss against her forehead where the golden moon was still there, holding his lips on her skin, reassuring himself with her warmth. He closes his eyes and simply lets himself feel her. He wants to hide her away forever, snarling and growling at anyone who dares come near. Except zoycite or szayel. He knows usagi would want zoycite and szayel close. the thought of zoycite has him scanning for the stormtrooper. He sees her hovering and she's tense and watchful. He catches her eyes but she looks away. He sighs, too weary to feel much more than a slight stab of guilt. It's time to get usagi home and he starts walking with her safe in his arms. As they make their way back to his shuttle, Kylo is gratified that szayel and zoycite walks by his side. Perhaps he made some progress with the stormtrooper after all.

To be continued