Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Alliances

Chapter 32 : Love

What is Shepard's plan or more importantly, why did I allow him to interrupt my own again? The loss of Rael was just a setback, Tali would have filled the role needed but no more. There are still others that I can manipulate almost as easily as it would have been that simpleton though none of her stature. All for the fleet, yes she would have been so easy to control, to push in the direction needed, but now I must break another and do it quickly. Having the famous daughter of an Admiral, a hero of the citadel, openly supporting my research would have provided the impetus to finally move it forward.

It still galls me to see almost two years of careful planning destroyed by something as useless as love. The careful destruction of her sense of self, of her ability to even form the idea of wanting something just for her, wiped away by a human. I had almost succeeded too, there was still something Tali hid within her that would not break, would not succumb to despair but it was only a matter of time before that was squashed as well. Then I could have rebuilt her to my needs. Rael had made it almost too easy to use Tali.

It had been rather difficult at her trial to fain indifference to the issue, to pretend I cared not for it's outcome. Bah, I would have rescinded her assignment to the Normandy right then had I known she would be lost to me.

Now he interferes with a mission I specifically ordered, though I don't understand how he knew. The report by Patyn made it clear that it was Kal'Reegar that ordered the termination of the mission, that they leave before their objectives had been met. Am I expected to believe that it was just coincidence that he contacted Shepard after they left the planet? Oh poor Reegar, his little play thing was dying and Shepard was right there to save the day.

Damn it, too many questions with no answers! Shepard played on Reegar's emotions, used them to bend Reegar to his will, but why? Why was Reegar, the squads leader, left aboard the Normandy when it was his duty to return to the fleet no matter the feelings he had for some female. What did Shepard gain in having them abandon the mission? And most importantly, what does Shepard know that he is keeping to himself?

Looking at her terminal she says "I'm sorry Han, I was sidetracked by a report. What was your question again?" she asked politely.

Slightly annoyed by her lapse he said "I said I was looking over your planned deployment on Aeia and I could not tell from your report how many transports would be needed."

"Just 4 for the first shipments. Once they have the area prepared then an additional 10 will be required. I plan to have all components ground side and accessible for the work crews. Since it is only we quarian's I do not expect any loss of equipment." she said. Two of those ships would be carrying the components for her research facility. There really was no need to mention that though as Han just needed the total ship count, not destination. The confusion of trying to get all 14 ships to the same destination would allow a couple to slip away unnoticed and deliver their cargo elsewhere.

"What are the projected times for the first phase to be completed? Freeing up four freighters is doable quickly enough but 14 will take some major shifting." he replied.

"That's the main reason I have for getting everything there quickly. Less interruption to the fleet. A few days and then all is back to normal. The first phase should be completed in about 2 weeks once we get clearance to begin." Daro responded.

"There would be less interruption is we used fewer ships and multiple deliveries. But it is your responsibility to create the plan, mine to support.

Very well, I will begin working on the orders now. Out." he said cutting the link. Why did he feel the absurd need to clean his visor every time he spoke with her he asked himself.

…

"John, I don't know if we can create quantum entanglement communication devices. Oh, I'm sure we could build it but the initial cost is so prohibitive that even getting Shala to agree would be almost impossible." Tali said sounding frustrated.

"Now that doesn't sound like the Tali I know." he replied smiling at her. "You've spent only 7 hours on it and without access to the extranet you only have your guesses on costs. Put it on hold for now and relax."

"They may be guesses but that equipment is expensive. Sure, once the first one is created and we get all the errors worked out the following units should be much cheaper to create. That still does not address the cost in credits and resources needed. To get this approved we would need the fighters designed at least. A prototype would be helpful in convincing the Admirals as well." she replied.

"So now you're planning to design a fighter to use the device in?" he asked.

"No, give me a space and say fit an engine or eezo core in here and I can do it but there are so many different needs in an entire craft that I wouldn't know where to begin." Tali admitted.

"You're trying to take on more than you need to, I bet there are plenty of specialists in the fleet that could do the design work for the ship. I know the Alliance uses teams of designers so you can leave that part up to them. When we get to the fleet should we mention it to Han? He seems to be the best one to understand the military advantage they would offer." he says.

"What you're really saying is for me to relax." she says with a little laugh. "Alright, my shoulders are feeling the stress anyway so what have you got planned to keep my mind off of this?" she asks teasing him.

"Well, if your shoulders are bothering you, why don't you lie down and I can help ease the tension." he says standing up and offering his hand.

Reaching up to take his hand she rises from the sofa asking playfully "Just what are you planning to do?"

"I think you could use a nice shoulder massage. It seemed to help you before" he said smiling as he led her into the small bedroom.

"That does sound nice." Stopping at the foot of the bed she is surprised when he starts to unbuckle her chest straps. "John? You know I can't remove my suit here." she said.

"Trust me Tali," he replied as he released them allowing him to slide the fabric off over her shoulders revealing just her enviro-suit. "Now lay down please." he said. He was very thankful he had watched Tali remove her suit before he thought to himself, he knew right where the seals were he needed.

Laying there she felt him kneel on the bed, his legs straddling hers then she felt something else landing on the bed as well. Glancing down as best she could she saw a familiar white and red box. A smile crossed her lips even before the soft blue field enveloped her upper body and John released her shoulder seals.

His bare hands moved with strength and tenderness as he began to work the tension from her equally bare shoulders. Her soft groans as he pressed on the sore muscles letting him know he had found the right spots.

Finally, after a few minutes of just reveling at his touch she asked "Just how did you get your hands on an emergency medical surgery decon unit?"

"I'm not telling and neither will Mordin" he said as he applied a little more pressure to a nerve cluster that felt tight.

…

The soft alarm above Lana's head alerted Ellen to the fact that her patient was waking. Dr. Chakwas had determined enough time had been given for most of the work done to her to be healed enough to allow slight movement so they were letting nature take its course now. It seems nature had finally made up her mind.

Moving first to the second bed she gently shakes Dr. Chakwas waking her then moves to Lana's side making sure she has a smile on her face. Tali had been very insistent they said that she understands everything was okay. To help they were keeping her body fairly numb so the sensations of the materials now touching her would not cause a reaction.

Wiping the sleep from her eyes Dr. Chakwas took Ellen's place watching for Lana's eyes to open and through smiling lips she started talking softly to her "Time to wake up Lana. You're safe aboard the Normandy in our sick bay. Kal is near." Repeating it to help her wake.

Drifting in the void she hears the sounds and by concentrating on them they resolve into voices. She feels strange, the always present weight of her helmet is dulled, nothing feels as it should. Opening her eyes slowly she sees once more the familiar grays but cannot remember why she thought it would be different.

The voice she hears forces her to concentrate, to understand what it is saying. Focusing beyond her own helmet she sees the smiling figure there, gray haired. Human. A flash of panic rises but something prevents her from acting on it. Kal, the human..female said Kal is near? Not here but close? Struggling to form the words she manages only "Where" before her throat stopped responding again.

Smiling more broadly now as Lana shows signs that the effects of the anesthetics are wearingoff she says "You're in the sick bay aboard the

Normandy" but as she spoke Lana's head began moving slightly left to right. Realizing what Lana meant she said "Kal is waiting outside. Until your recovered enough to see him." she said. "Now, are you in any pain?"

"No...pain...why?" she tried to ask.

"Good, now why are you here?" Dr. Chakwas said guessing her question.

"You were badly injured and the Normandy was the closest emergency aid Kal could find. You're safe now. The effects of the drugs will wear off soon and you'll be able to ask your questions so please relax and don't worry. You're among friends here."

Knowing that Kal brought her here helped her relax a lot more than she thought it would. He trusts these human's. She had the feeling that she should recognize the ships name but could not. Focusing closer within her visor to check the elapsed mission time she finds only the constant gray of the faceplate. Glancing lower she can see the operational indicators and realizes her suit has been damaged.

"Suit!" she says hoarsely and tries to lift her arm up to access her omnitool. It too failed to operate and she began to panic. "Malfunction..It's damaged..Kal!" she called out.

Both Ellen and Dr. Chakwas held her down by the shoulders as Dr. Chakwas said "Lana, it's all right. You're in a sterile field. Do you understand? A sterile field."

Recovering from the fear she looks once more at the human and notices the filter covering her mouth and nose. Lana asks "Sterile? Suit, how bad? Please."

Grimacing alittle Dr. Chakwas says slowly and clearly "Both your chest and lower suit sections had to be cut off you to save your life. A replacement has been requested and in the meantime we have made arrangements for covering and protecting you. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I'm naked. Who saw?" she asked. The shock of finding herself not only naked but without a suit for the first time since receiving her first one brought a rush of adrenaline to her that flushed most of the fog from her mind.

"Only the medical team. Tia was here as well but she is already on her way back to the fleet. You're fully covered and only women will be assisting you so you don't need to fear."

"How bad was I injured? I really can't feel much of anything." she asked.

"Ah, good. Responding much better now. I'm Dr. Chakwas. This," indicating Ellen, "is Ellen Stanford. To you injuries. Your left leg was torn up badly, we removed the shrapnel and rebuilt the tissue but only time will tell the extent of the loss, if there is any, to its mobility. You also had numerous cuts from your visor being shattered and a few lacerations due to haste to get your upper suit open. Your right arm was broken but should be useable in about 2 days. Your leg will take a week at least."

"Thank you Doctor. If I'm properly covered could you please send Kal in? I really need to hear his voice." she said. Steeling her nerves she forced herself to calm down. Kal would only look at her visor, she trusted him.

…

The quarian shuttle had come and gone. Judy had only accepted 3 liters of blood to replace what had been used and thanked the crew. The crew had thanks her for helping to save one of their own and with a farewell salute departed on its long voyage back. Kelly had ensured that the shuttle refueled at the dock before departing, letting them know that Shepard would cover the costs.

Kal had remained on the mess decks. He had not left the area since waking and would not until he had the chance to see for himself that she was okay. Pacing, sitting, standing and an occasional question from a passing crewman made his morning extremely boring so he took to servicing his weapons.

He was just reaching for his sniper rifle when Nurse Stanford came out asking if he could come in. Walking quickly into the sickbay he saw Lana looking at him and his eyes never left hers as he closed the distance and said "You scared me Lana, don't ever do that again."

"I won't inszel, not as long as I live." she replied softly just staring into his eyes. Eyes that had not left hers.

…

"Thank you Agios" John replied then cut the connection. Officially within the protection of the fleet pickets their commandeered escort was now free to return to the Moreh as their own yacht altered course for the Neema. "Another 20 minutes and we'll be aboard your old ship Tali. You okay with that?" he asked.

"Yes. What I thought was my home was not. In my two years as a crewman there I was sent on so many missions, missions against the geth, that I did not make many good memories. Most of the people I knew were killed right beside me on those missions. It was like I was the cause of their deaths, as if my very presence was a sign they would die. I knew it was just that the missions were dangerous, always beyond the veil, but to have so many die to protect me... "

"I..I almost gave up then but I kept hearing 'think of the fleet' and I had to keep going if only for the others. If I had died on a mission that meant someone else would have lived. The parts for my father gave me hope at first that we could fight back but even that faded with so many deaths. I just continued sending them as I went on the missions, it helped alittle to keep the pain inside, thinking I was doing some good. Haestrom was to be my last mission. I either died there or would resign, I just couldn't see anymore useless deaths. Each mission I would start guessing who would die and I started wishing for the pain to end."

"I had heard about a group looking at ways to attack the geth but only rumors. I was going to see if they were true if I survived first at Freedom's Progress and then Haestrom. No, I do not miss the Neema. It seemed like the only thing I had good to hold onto there were the memories of our time together." she finished sadly.

Taking her hands in his he said "Tali, I'm so very sorry they treated you that way. I've seen my share of soldiers used like that until they were a burned out husk just following orders with no thought to what they were doing. You were not like that. Even on Freedom's Progress you still had that life in you, they didn't break you then so don't let the memories break you now."

Looking up into his caring eyes she said softly "I won't John. They have no hold on my soul anymore. You have filled it with yours displacing the emptiness. I may shed a tear every now and then remembering the people that were lost but never for my time aboard the Neema. That is a dead time for

me, a time squashed from existence between my time with you."

"Would you prefer we use the Rayya or Tonbay? I know those do hold good memories." he said.

"No, we are here to see Admiral Gerrel. He is there, on his precious Neema waiting for us. Let us go there and be done with this quickly. I would like to visit the Rayya afterwards though. You are correct, I do have good memories there and I wish to wash away the taint the Neema brings." she replied.

"Then the Rayya it is as soon as we can Tali. I don't want my lifemate hurting any more." he said trying to ease her pain.

Leaning forward she taps her visor to his forehead and looking into his eyes replied "When you look at me, speak to me or just hold me, you wash away all my pain leaving only my love for you."

…

Inszel: Term of status or standing within a social circle. Literal translation: Most trusted confidant and partner.

Used to describe the personal relationship of an individual. Implies a deep personal connection. Humans would say girlfriend or boyfriend but these only touch the surface of what it truly means.