Fun Fact #3
I had based Robin on a famous Latina singer from the 80's/90's. She is considered the "Queen of Tejano". Can you take a lucky guess?
Behind Closed Doors
Being worried was an understatement but scared shitless seemed overdramatic. Even though I looked forward to seeing him, I was also anxious because I knew none of this was easy for him. The boys agreed to go visit him on their own time that way it didn't overwhelm him. Baby steps.
Sunday
R: "B, why did you list me as an emergency contact?"
B: "You were the only one I had left."
R: "That's not true."
B: "You're right, you were the only one, to begin with."
R: "Do your folks know?"
B: "We don't talk. I haven't had a conversation with them in years."
R: "Why?"
B: "Cause I didn't want to go on mission."
R: "Mission?"
B: "It's this "right of passage" BS that they have us do. We're supposed to convert strangers into joining our church."
R: "Oh, are you guys Mormon...or Jehovah's witnesses?"
B: "Mormon, but don't associate me with either."
R: "No wonder your parents never liked me."
B: "Don't take it personally, they never liked any of the friends I had."
R: "Yikes. So, what happened exactly?"
B: "They were planning for me to go to South America and I told them that I didn't want to do it. This all happened when I was 18. It's been like this ever since."
R: "I'm sorry, B."
B: "I'm not. I had to get the hell out."
Monday
B: "Regardless of what they tell you, weed isn't a gateway drug. Don't let them fool you, it has so many benefits. Alcohol is more deadly. In fact, out of all the stuff I took alcohol was the deadliest of them all."
R: "Why is that?"
B: "Because it's the only one that's legal."
Tuesday
B: "I tried to stop. Honestly, I did try."
R: "I believe you, B."
B: "I told myself that this was gonna be the last time...and it almost was...for everything."
R: "The important thing is that you're here and you're not alone."
B: "..."
R: "Hey, I've been writing a song. It's kind of messy now but I figured you could help me improve it."
B: "Let's hear it."
R: "Well I think I've got the chorus down, it goes like this: When we were young, when we were young."
Wednesday
R: "How did this all start?"
B: "My brother was really into psychedelics. After high school, I tagged along with him whenever he was out and I found a certain crowd. He eventually moved on and I got stuck. I was convinced that these were my people and that they were gonna take care of me."
R: "Peer pressure?"
B: "Yeah, you could call it that."
R: "Well what would you call it?"
B: "Being miserable."
R: "What made you miserable?"
B: "A lot of things."
Thursday
B: "I got all your letters, you know."
R: "Oh?"
B: "Yeah."
R: "How'd you get them? I've only sent them to your parent's house."
B: "They always forward it to me."
R: "Gotcha."
B: "But I've never read them. I had them stored up in a shoebox."
R: "Why didn't you read them?"
B: "Because I didn't want to imagine you happy without me."
R: "Without you?"
B: "Yeah, without me. Your friend."
R: "To be honest, I wasn't completely happy."
Friday
B: "You ever think about when we were kids?"
R: "Yeah, all the time, B."
B: "Do you sometimes wish you could go back and do things differently?"
R: "I used to, but now not anymore."
B: "Why?"
R: "I just figured that everything happens for a reason. If we were to take back the mistakes we made we wouldn't be where we are now."
B: "What if taking back those mistakes would have been better and made us happier?"
R: "I don't think it would make you happier, just content a little longer before another mistake comes along."
Saturday
B: "Robin."
R: "Yeah, B?"
B: "Can I tell you something? Something personal?"
R: "Yeah, of course."
B: "I don't want the others to know about this."
R: "Alright."
B: "There's a reason why I listed you as an emergency contact."
R: "Okay."
B: "This has been a long time coming, but I guess I better tell you now before things get messy."
R: "You're starting to worry me."
B: "Well this isn't gonna make you feel any better."
R: "B-"
B: "I love you."
R: "..."
B: "I have loved you for a very long time. Probably from the moment Scott brought you to the Sandlot."
R: "..."
B: "I never told you because I already knew who you had your eyes on. Although, that didn't stop me from trying. Every time we hung out I tried, maybe a little too hard. When the boys placed their bets on when you and Benny, I felt so torn. But then you guys didn't get together like we all thought you would. I was happy but then upset with myself. We all drifted apart and my life got ugly. I had heard about your success and hoped that secretly you weren't with him or anybody else. I then got caught up with some nasty stuff and next thing I knew I ended up here. I then thought of you. I didn't want to live a life without at least telling you."
R: "..."
B: "This is me telling you now."
R: "B…"
B: "I already know."
R: "I never meant to-"
B: "I know you didn't."
R: "..."
B: "I didn't tell you this to make you feel like shit. I just wanted you to know."
The week was up and I made sure to visit him as usual. But when I got to his room he wasn't there. I had asked the lady behind the desk and she told me that he had checked out that morning. She couldn't tell me anything else and I couldn't help but panic. I called up the boys and none of them had a clue as to where he went. They told me not to worry and that they figured Bertram wanted to do this on his own.
"Maybe this is for the best, Robin," Ham said as he placed a glass of water in front of me. "You and I know how he is. He likes being independent, even when we were kids." This didn't make me feel any better it made me feel like a lousy friend. "I just can't let him go, Ham." He scoffed. "Oh yes, you can. He's not your responsibility. He's a grown-ass man who is capable of making his own decisions. You did what you could and I'm sure he appreciates that. But for now, you need to let him be." I couldn't help but feel suspicious about how nonchalant he was acting. "What are you not telling me?" He shook his head. "Just trust me, okay?" I sighed while nodding my head. "Okay."