Ch.26: Ties To The Past

(Author's Note)

I wanted to delv into Sasuke's thoughts on his past and family. And how he thought of his new family, I wanted him to open up to Sakura about that. I hope I stayed in charcter for the most part. This was a harder chapter to write. But I hope you enjoy it.

(Sasuke's POV)

I finally reached the door.

I opened it to see Orochimaru sitting in a chair with that same sinister-looking smile on his face.

"What is it?" I asked sharply.

"Well Sasuke, I looked into the matter you asked me about before. And it seems that not only has the Syndicate completely stopped all activity and seemingly disappeared. But the ones you took care of before were all killed before the leaf could arrive." He said as he leaned onto his hand.

I could tell he was waiting to see my reaction to this news, but I wasn't going to give him anything.

I stayed silent.

"They seem to have all been taken some sort of pill. Jugo told me that they had used a method like this in the past as well so it was to be expected." He said as he grinned.

"I see." I said as I glanced at the lone candle in the room.

*So that bastard is dead...* It didn't make me happy to hear that but at least I won't have to deal with him again.

"So how much longer do you plan on staying here?" He asked in that annoying tone of his.

"No longer than I need to." I said as I quickly left. I didn't plan on talking to him more than I needed to.

Just thinking about him was enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

He was a link to my past and a regrettable link at that.

I made it back to my room to see a welcome sight.

The sleeping faces of the ones I cherished.

I didn't want to disturb them so I just sat in the chair beside the bed.

There was a stray hair in Sakura's face, so I decided to brush it out of the way only to be met with big green eyes looking back at me.

"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I apologized.

She shook her head. "No, it's fine." She said with a smile.

I looked at Sarada and sighed.

When it came to her I still had mixed feelings, while I did cherish her and want to protect. I wasn't sure if I was cut out to be a dad.

I suddenly felt a hand on my face breaking me from my thoughts.

"What's bothering you?" When she asked with such an innocent look on her face I couldn't help but answer her.

"I'm just unsure about whether or not..." I didn't really want to finish that thought.

She just looked at me waiting patiently for me to continue.

I just sighed again.

"Honestly the thought of having a family and being a father has never crossed my mind before now.

When I was young I only..." I stopped.

"Sasuke, if you don't want to tell me I won't force you but I do hope that one day you will open up to me." She said with a gentle smile.

"No, it's fine. But it's stuffy in here. Shall we get some fresh air?" I asked.

"Ok." She nodded.

"Here let me hold her." I said as I took Sarada from her.

She just smiled.

We then made our way outside.

It had already become nighttime and the moon was bright tonight.

We then found a tree to sit under.

I took a breath trying to figure out how to word this.

"When I was young and with my family, I was honestly happy. It wasn't perfect but I have found that no family is. They all have their quirks.

Back then all I really wanted was to get my father's approval. Though that was easier said than done.

Since he was the leader of the clan he was always very stern and very strict. And I was the second son.

I had a lot to live up to since Itachi was my older brother and he was a prodigy my father praised him constantly while I felt he only ever compared me to Itachi.

Back then I was very jealous and envious of my brother, and because of his skills he took on various duties, he was always busy because of that.

I always thought he was just brushing me off because he didn't think I was worth his time. I didn't realize all the things he was dealing with in secret, even from a young age." I paused to look at her.

"Like what?" She asked.

"When he was young he graduated from the academy after only a year, he then was assigned to a three-man cell. They didn't get along at first since he was younger than them. But they seemed to trust each other as they went on missions. But then his comrades were killed on a mission. Back the because I was so young I didn't realize what he must have been feeling because of that."

"At such a young age? That's horrible." She said with a sad face.

"He soon joined the anbu, he actually worked under Kakashi for a while." I said as I looked at her.

"Really?" She said intrigued.

"But Danzo had already begun pulling strings behind the scenes to make the Uchiha outcasts in the leaf and because of this my father and other clan members were planning to revolt against the leaf and take control, leaving my brother to choose between the leaf or his clan." I said as I remembered what Itachi had once shown me.

"That is so terrible, how could Lord third let that happen?" She asked as she grabbed my arm.

Seeing her get upset for me. It comforted me in a sense.

"They were a lot of things that went wrong in a lot of ways, but it's all in the past there is no need to worry about it now." I said trying to ease her worries.

Even though in the past this affected me greatly, through my years of traveling I had found my own way with being at peace with what happened.

It still hurt sometimes but now that I have her, I knew that my past demons wouldn't haunt me like they once had.

"It doesn't matter that it is in the past, it was still a terrible thing that happened unfairly. None pf that should have ever happened it's not right!" She said with tears.

I leaned forward and kissed her head.

"Should I stop talking about this? It seems to upset you." I asked.

"No, I will calm down please continue." She said while blushing.

"Well while a lot of mine and my clans past is sad, it wasn't all bad." I said as I gazed at the moon.

"Can you tell me those kinds of things?" She asked as she laid her head on my shoulder.

I looked down at Sarada who ha been sleeping unaware of everything.

"Even though all of that happened, my family all loved each other in their own way. My mother was a strong person, she was the rock in our family.

She supported us all in her own way, my dad was the backbone, he was hard on us most of the time but that was his own way he showed how much he cared.

And my brother only wanted to follow what he believed was the right path even in the end our parents supported his decision.

When I look at Sarada it makes me wonder if I could be a could father for her.

After that night, all I lived for was revenge against my brother. It consumed my every thought, it was all that mattered.

After I fought him I thought I had finally achieved my goal in avenging my clan. But I soon learned the truth.

Everything I knew about that night had all been a lie Itachi had concocted to keep the leaf and me safe.

When it had all set in I was overcome with rage, grief, hatred and darkness.

I felt I had lost who I was now that Itachi was gone.

I wanted to make those who had caused our lives to be so miserable to pay.

I wanted them to suffer like I had all my life.

I began going after anyone I thought was responsible for the Uchiha's disgraceful end. But in reality, I was in denial about my own feeling I was mad, mad at myself, mad at the world.

I did horrible things to try and forget what I was really thinking about myself.

When I heard that bastard had been chosen as the new Hokage I made it my goal to kill him.

But even that didn't help ease my mind. And then I almost...killed you.

I did so many things. So do I really have the right? The right to be with you, to hold her? to be happy?" I unintentionally let all the things I had been holding back spill out.

"Stop. Stop that right now!

You more than anyone else deserve to be happy!

You deserve to be Sarada's father, no you have to be her father that is your job now just like my job is to be there and care for you as your wife.

If what you did in your past was so horrible and you want to make up for those things then just be a good dad and live a life that helps others. That is what you can do to atone for your past." She said with a serious face.

I was taken aback by her words.

*This is my atonement?* When I thought about it like that it was like a weight lifted off of me that I didn't know I was bearing.

"Sakura." She blushed at me saying her name.

"Y..yeah?" She said as she averted her eyes.

"Thank you." I said as I went to lean forward, I wanted to kiss her.

When I was interrupted by Sarada waking in a crying fit.

I sighed *First it was that idiot and now even you Sarada?*

Sakura began bursting into laughter.

"I'm sorry Sarada were we ignoring you, you must be hungry right? Come here." She said as she took her from me.

(Sakura's POV)

My heart was still racing, from Sasuke opening up to me and him about to kiss me.

It all made me so happy.

But now I needed to focus on pacifying Sarada.

It had become so natural for me to just breastfeed her without thinking about it.

Then I remembered that Sasuke was right beside me.

I quickly turned to see him blushing and looking away, which caused me to want to die from embarrassment.

*Wait, Sasuke has seen me before why am I so embarrassed?* I thought annoyed by my reaction.

He then held my hand.

"Sasuke?" I said confused.

"Don't worry about it." Was all he said still looking away.

*He is so cute!* I couldn't help but enjoy his sweet notion.

After Sarada was finished she was back to sleeping. That was all she seemed to do. But she was so cute awake or asleep.

We continued to sit under the tree.

The air felt so nice, and sitting beside Sasuke I felt so warm.

I couldn't help but fall asleep.

"I truly love you Sasuke." I said as I drifted off.