Don't Die

by Alice84

We've been placing our future in other people's hands. We've been looking for help since the beginning, and it hasn't worked at all until now. I think it's time we stop. We gotta stop looking for others to be our solution, we gotta stop believing other places and other people will save us. What we gotta do now is take control of our situation and make it happen. We, not others!

25. Day 69, part 2

Day 69

Dinner was half amazing, because the food was wonderful, half terrible, because the silence was so tense and awkward I wanted to get up and run away from it. Terrible. Glenn tired, poor guy, to come up with something to talk about but somehow only made it worse. Really, terrible.

Even worse, I ended up sitting right across the table form Andrea.

I didn't move my eyes from my food for a second, because if I did I'd throw myself over the table to punch her.

After eating, people thanked for the food and started leaving to go back to their tents or upstairs to their rooms as Maggie, Beth and Lori went to the kitchen again to do the dishes. Carol had a tray with food and juice and went upstairs to bring it to Daryl. He was probably starving. I went up a bit after her and got to the hall as she was leaving, closing the door behind her.

"Hey," she whispered, standing with me. "Please see that he eats, he sure need it." I nodded with a little smile at her. "What he did for my baby today… I have no words," and she took a step to leave, but stopped to touch my arm. "It's a god man you got there."

Oh, how right she was… I watched Carol leave quietly and faced his door, taking a deep breath. I had no idea what I'd say or do, if I'd act on my feelings, it I'd call him out for losing the horse and getting hurt to that extent, I had no idea. But I had to be in there now.

Daryl looked over his shoulder at the door as it creaked open, and kept looking as I entered and closed it behind me. I was nervous as I stared at him, saying nothing, my eyes fixing on the bandage on his head and lower, to his back that was turned to me. There was a tattoo there I didn't know he had, and scars. Many of them. Long, deep scars that looked old. They'd been there for a long time, probably a childhood thing.

Fuck.

I let it pass for now, my eyes travelling now to the other bandage on his side. He turned back to his position, looking away and trying to bring the sheets higher over him, to hide, but in a moment looked over his shoulder again, at me. He seemed confused by my silence. The bedroom was dim and he didn't say a word, and try as I might, I couldn't find anything to say. There was a huge lump on my throat, it had been there since the shot, and it hurt.

Forcing myself to move, I let go of my own hands and crossed the bedroom, rounding the bed to stand opposite Daryl. He followed me with his eyes, turning, still saying nothing. I hesitated for a moment before turning around and sitting on the bed with my back to him and reaching down to untie my boots and kick them off. Without thinking too much of it, I scooched up on the bed, turning to my side and lying down facing Daryl, an arm moving under the pillow I rested my head on, and the other curling around myself, hand resting over my lips.

He stared at me suspiciously, eyes a bit wide, but still said nothing, his hand gripping the sheet high on his chest, but still leaving the bandage on his side visible. We kept like this for a while, lying down facing each other, quiet. My eyes still wandered all around him, his face, both bandages and even his chest moving as he breathed, because I just needed to see him, know he was there and alive and it had all been just a scare.

"You –" Daryl started after a while and stopped to clear his throat, licking his lips before speaking again. "You stayin'?"

I nodded with my head on the pillow, eyes on his. "Yeah. Not ready to have you out of my sight."

His eyebrows moved a bit down at that, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, I know… But you could not be."

"Was just a grazin' –"

"– you could've died, Daryl," I said firmly over him, my eyes suddenly filled with tears. "I could be mourning you know instead of lying here looking at you!" At these words, my voice caught I closed my eyes tightly making the tears spill, running over the bridge of my nose. "Fuckin' hormones," I muttered as I angrily dried my eyes.

He said nothing, stunned. Hormones my ass. There were no excuses for those tears except the truth, that I dreaded the idea of losing him. He watched me dry my eyes and sniff and look at him again, and I wandered all over his face how. So Daryl cleaned his throat again and spoke of something other than my tears.

"Still don't know for real what happened."

"You know you were shot in the head, right?"

My change of tone was apparently something Daryl could work with because he relaxed a little.

"Gathered that much."

"It was Andrea! Daryl. Andrea shot you in the fuckin' head!"

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah, she though you was a walker. The way you arrived on the field… But I told her not to. Rick and Shane were close to you, they'd take care of it if it was a walker, and I was right there and I told her not to shoot 'cause she didn't need to, that Rick and Shane were there and she'd waste a bullet and the noise is dangerous, I fuckin' told her and she just motherfuckin' did it anyway!"

I finished turning abruptly on my back, the mattress shaking strongly, and growling loudly as I covered my face with my hands.

"It can't go unpunished!" I let go of my face, angrily staring at the ceiling, gesturing with my hands. "She shot someone, one of ours, she could have killed you! I gotta do something, I wanna ban her. I wanna punch her in that fucking face of hers and then ban her from this group!"

"Hey, you gotta stop!" Daryl reached for my left upper arm, making me stop and look at him, breathing hard as if I'd run a marathon. "We'll deal with her later, just stop."

"But Daryl –"

"I'm okay, Sam," he spoke calmly and in a low voice, calmer than he probably felt, because he'd just found out who had shot him. "Ya told me not to die, remember?"

I quieted at that and turned again to my side, facing him, one arm once again moving under the pillow and the other now resting on the mattress between us. Sniffing, I closed my eyes briefly and looked at him again. "Yeah. I did."

"I heard ya."

Pressing my lips together, I felt my eyes fill up again, and I nodded. "What of this?" I diverged the subject pointing at his side.

He lifted his arm from the mattress and looked quickly at his wound and then back at me, his hand resting close to mine. "Fell from the horse. Rolled down a slope and fell down a waterfall, landed on an arrow that went right through here. May have hit my head as well 'cause then I was all hallucinatin'' of Merle talking ta me."

My eyebrows were up. "Holly fuck, Daryl. And then got shot in the head!"

He smirked sideways, just lightly, "And then got shot in the head."

"Merle must have said all kinds a shit to you."

"You know him, even jus' in my head."

"Yeah…" I breathed out hard, my cheeks ballooning up for a moment and we went silent again. I turned a bit, trying to get more comfortable, nearly on my stomach, getting even closer to Daryl, but didn't stay in this position for a second, returning to my side but turning just a little further, my bump up.

"Damn," I muttered placing a hand on it, "if I lie on my stomach, I can feel the bump… 'S weird, like Imma crush the baby. Pro'ly wont but feels weird."

I looked at Daryl and found his eyes glued on my small bump, a little of it showing under the shirt that got lifted a bit with all my moving. I let him look, my own hand feeling it, for a long moment, until he blinked, cleaned his throat and looked at me.

"You showin'… Didn't know you was showing."

"Well, barely… But I am," and I lifted the shirt a bit further, the whole little bump out now. "'S kinda bizarre… Little person growing inside me."

"Do you – Do you feel it already? Move, I mean?"

"Nah… Too soon I think. But I do feel like… Kinda something. Like there's a butterfly batting the wings in there. Or like, you know when we got that eye twitch, the muscle movin' on its own?" I asked smiling and he nodded. "Like that, inside. Was feeling it when I laid here."

There was silence again and I felt like I could breathe again, lying there so close to a living, breathing Daryl, his eyes alive and attentive on me, the heat from this body radiating to me. It felt safe, it felt right, and I could close my eyes and breath out slowly, a little smile playing on my lips. I knew he was watching me and it felt comfortable. When I opened my eyes, I caught his own traveling from my bump to my hand on it and up my arms, studying me from my forearm sunflower tattoos to the colorful mandala on my upper arm, the little green chameleon on my shoulder and the black and grey butterfly low on the side of my neck. And then he met my eyes, catching me watching him.

He didn't look away as I thought he would. My eyes were locked on his, my expression relaxed because I was feeling relaxed after it all, and he knew I wasn't mad he'd been looking. I accepted it, I believe my look showed that. He kept looking and the moment elongated. His nervousness started to fade, I could see, as if my very look was relaxing him.

After what felt like a life, I smiled reached my hand to his, holding it up and guiding it to my baby bump. Caught off guard, Daryl found himself with his palm against the bare skin of my belly.

"Do you feel it?" I smiled. He looked down at our hands, trying to focus. "There, again!"

"No… Didn't feel nothin'."

"No?"

"No… Must be too small yet."

"Yeah..." my smile faltered a bit. "Wish you could feel it."

And still I held his hand there, hoping he'd be able to feel maybe the first real movement of the baby, even though I had no idea it was already time for the baby to start moving. I wasn't even sure the little things I'd been feeling really were the baby, maybe they were just my stomach growling or gas or whatever. But all I was sure now was that his big palm as covering nearly my entire bump and it was warm and comfy to feel it there, and I wished he wouldn't let go even if he felt no movement. I was still watching him when he looked up from the bump to my eyes again.

It was when I felt the tiniest movement of his thumb on my skin. Slow, soft but surely back and forth, his eyes unsure on me as if asking if this was okay. The tiniest smile on my lips told him it was. It was more than okay; it was welcome. I could feel the strong muscles on his hand working under my fingers as he kept slowly moving his thumb. Just as slowly, scared I'd spook him to stop, I moved my fingertips over the back of his hand, up to his thick, strong wrist, to his forearm, and there I mimicked his slow strokes, our eyes still fixed on one another, softly, interrupted only by slow blinking.

The farmhouse around us had gone silent, people retreated to their rooms or back outside to the tents after diner, meaning a long time had passed as we just laid there, soft strokes and eyes deep into the other.

God, how I wanted him…

I licked my lips before whispering, breaking the long silence, "Daryl…"

His thumb stopped and I regretted speaking, I didn't want him to stop, so to show it I kept stoking his forearm and smiled softly at him, hoping it would make him see I was not asking him to stop. It worked, because after a moment he hummed in question and his thumb moved again.

Well, here we go.

"Just… I wanted to tell you that… Just in case you want to, if you're thinking about it… It's okay if… If you want to kiss me. I'd like that."

Ok, not as eloquent as I'd wished, but well.

He stopped again, frozen, eyes still on mine, not moving. My heart started beating faster, a bit faster to each second he didn't move, wondering if I'd made a huge mistake voicing what I'd been thinking. But the moment was so real, so long, so soft, I'd felt certain he was thinking it too, but maybe he wasn't, and my face started feeling warmer. I stopped my fingers on his forearm. Seconds elongated and the longer it passed, the more I wanted to get up and leave the room apologizing for the mistake. However, Daryl hadn't moved away, his hand still resting warmly on my stomach, his body close and his eyes deep on mine.

And then he moved.

His hand left my skin leaving it a bit cold where it had been, but I only noticed it for a moment because his hand was now on my face, covering my cheek, fingertips under my ear, and he was moving slowly and careful to me, his eyes clear as the sky closing slowly just as he got so near I could feel his intake of breath before his lips touched mine. I closed my eyes and allowed him to softly press his lips against mine and I thought my heart was going to burst in my chest. I felt like crying; his touch as so gentle, so careful I couldn't believe this was the same Daryl, the fighter, hunter, the ill-mannered redneck I was glad to call a friend. No, this was the other side of him, the one I believed not many people had had the pleasure of knowing before. This kiss was being given by the loyal, soft side of him, the one that cared about other people more than he cared about himself, the protective, kind one I though not even Daryl himself believed to exist. It was clear on the heedfulness of his touch, on his gentle hand on my face.

I lifted my hand to rest on top of his on my face, holding him there, telling him I liked it, that I was welcoming his touch and his kiss, and allowed myself to wonder for a second if I had even been touched so gently before and came out with nothing. Nobody had ever given me such a tender first kiss and I had never felt so overwhelmed by a kiss that I felt my eyes prickling with tears under my closed eyelids.

Slowly he let go, his lips on mine making a soft kissing sound. I kept my eyes closed for a moment longer, my hand holding his on my face, and I could still feel it, my lips tingling, wanting more. I lazily opened my eyes. Daryl hadn't rested his head on the pillow again, he stayed there, halfway between our spots, looking at me with many questions in his eyes, like he wanted me to tell him what to do now that we'd crossed the line, now that there was probably no turning back. I had the answer, I knew exactly what it was.

I let him know by closing the space between us once again to kiss him, my lips pressing firmly against his, more firmly than he had, and my hand let go of his to run down his forearm to his elbow and upper arm and rest on the back of his shoulder. His own hand on my face slid back into my hair, his fingers purchasing their place on my scalp under the locks, and it felt so good I whimpered against his mouth, parting my lips against his, an invitation; my hand tightening on his shoulder as a pleading, so he parted his own lips to allow his tongue to touch my lower lip. I responded to him instantly and we both took deep intakes of breath so we wouldn't have to let go anytime soon. I slid closer to him, our chests touching now, and then we both just let it go, our kiss deepening, tongues dancing together, lips getting to know each other, moving slowly and intensely, the effects starting to make themselves present on our bodies.

Daryl moved over, his hand sliding from my hair to my back, turning to nearly get on top of me, his mouth never leaving mine, but just as he turned a bit too far, the fresh stiches on his side stung from being twisted and he hissed, letting go of my lips and returning abruptly to his position on his side. Startled, I covered her mouth with my hand, eyes wide watching him. His face showed more annoyance than pain, his eyes tightly closed for a moment before he looked at me.

"Sorry!" I told him. "Did I hurt you?"

"Was me, can't turn. It's fine," he said in a strained voice.

"Did you open a stitch?"

"Don't think so. 'S fine," and he relaxed, the pain subsiding, and rested his head on the pillow again, with me still there real close to him. "Come here," his voice gentle once again told me as he pressed his hand on my back, trying to bring me to him.

"Maybe we should wait… You're hurt, don't wanna make it worse," I said even as I approached, our noses nearly touching.

"Ain't no way this will make me worse," he told her with a shy smirk and I laughed against his lips as he tried to kiss me again.

"What I mean…" I pushed him softly to be able to look into his eyes. "Is that if we keep this up I'm gonna want… More… And you can't, you're convalescing."

"I'm convalescing," he repeated, eyebrows up. "I'll have ya know I've gone huntin' with a broken leg. I've tracked deer with a concussion."

I was smiling but a bit more seriously now, as I held him close. "You were shot, Daryl… Got an arrow to your side," and I lowered my head to the pillow, pressing my face against his neck and pulling him tightly to me. "I'm just happy you're here, alive, and that I can hold you… And that now I can kiss you, and not just keep liking you from a distance…"

He chuckled, hugging me against him. "You like me?"

I laughed, face hidden on his neck, "Shut up."

"I think ya like me."

"'Course I like you, ya jerk," I looked up at him again and slapped his shoulder. "Why you think I'm in bed making out with you, all cryin' and ooh please don't die and shit?"

Daryl was looking at me with a playful smile, but halfway through my speaking he got bit by bit more serious and his eyebrows went down in confusion.

"You serious 'bout this?"

I took a moment to answer, staring at him before saying "Yeah. Why did ya think?"

"I… I dunno… 'Cause ya was scared."

"I was scared. I was fuckin' shitless scared," I was serious now. "I think when they carried you into the house I stood frozen like an ice statue for like ten minutes in the front yard, unable to move because I thought ya was dead and what the fuck was I gonna do with my life without you," and I was breathless again and tried to let go of him to sit up, because I knew I had said too much. There was something about a living and breathing Daryl lying so close to me being all gentle and kissing so good that made me talk too much too soon. We'd just kissed for the first time, finally, and here I was opening my heart and talking feelings and shit.

But he held me, not letting me get up, "Hey, don't – I know. I know, alrigh'?" and I stopped trying and looked at him again. "I knew ya liked me, jus' can't understand it. Not used ta people likin' me, is all, specially girls. And I didn't know it was… Like this, that ya wanted me like this…"

"Fuck, Daryl…" I settled again, replacing myself on his neck and holding him tight again. "You got no idea, do you?"

"Nah, think I don't…" he whispered. "But I ain't about to argue that now…"

"Good. Hope you don't argue it later too, 'cause I ain't going anywhere."

He just hummed, holding me in his arms, and we went quiet. His hand was travelling up and down my back and I relaxed on his hold, my face on his neck, feeling the smell and the heat of his skin, my hand on the back of his shoulder also starting to softly explore. I knew I should stop touching him because I'd only want more, but it was impossible. My hand moved to the nape of his neck, fingertips light on his skin.

"Don't know why I can't find her…" he whispered into the silence, hand still roaming on my back.

I took a moment to answer, wondering if he'd say more. I knew Daryl. I knew he didn't talk much, specially about feelings and stuff, so I should give him room to keep speaking if he'd like, but after a while he remained silent.

"Not sure why…" I started. "But with how hard you trying, got no doubt we'll know soon enough."

"Wanna find her alive…"

"I know… But you gotta know, Daryl… Won't be your fault if ya don't."

He stilled in my arms, his hand stopping stroking me and I could feel him tense.

"Yeah it will," he disagreed.

I lifted my head again to look at him, "You're doing all ya can. You nearly died for her today. You're out there every day, doin' what everybody else shoulda. What I shoulda too."

"Nah, ya can't," he shook his head. "Ya gotta take care of yourself, 's dangerous out there."

"And yet you're still out there all day," I agreed firmly. "Nobody's tryin' as hard as you."

"Promised her momma I'd keep trying 'till I find her," Daryl mumbled looking down, at somewhere near my throat.

"That's…" I paused to lick my lips. "That's some real serious thing to promise someone… Why you doin' that?"

Daryl looked back at me, "She's twelve, alone in the woods. What kinda prick wouldn't do that?"

"Well, Rick, Shane. They ain't doing that."

"Yeah, but you told me to."

"What?" I frowned.

"The day she vanished, back on the road. You put me in charge of finding her."

"I put you in charge of looking for her," I corrected firmly. "I never said find her, and I never promised Carol Sophia would come back alive."

"You don't think I can do it?"

"Yes, I do. I think you can find her. If anyone can, that's you. We just can't know if she'll be… You know, still her when you do. And if she's not, that will not be on you. It won't even be on Rick, who's the one who left her alone in the woods in the first place, why would it be on you who's nearly getting killed looking for her?"

Daryl's face was hard, his emotion hiding behind angry eyes, even though he hadn't let go of me, not for a moment. He said nothing, just kept looking at me and I think he was repeating my words in his head, trying to make sense of them, wanting to believe them. After a while he closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them again, it was a bit softer and he looked down again.

"Carol said I'm every bit as good as Rick 'n Shane, 'cause I'm tryin'," he whispered, his hand restarting his caress on my back.

"Now there I disagree with her," I said and he looked up at my eyes again, a bit startled, and I smiled softly at him. "You're better."

His eyebrows went down and he scoffed, his hand sliding from my back to my waist as he turned a little away from me. "Come on, jus'… Don't."

"I mean it, Daryl," I also moved, lifting up to rest on one elbow so I could look at him, and smiled, "You really got no idea, do you? Nobody knows you like I do. Them all, they don't see it. But ya've been by my side all this time, since before, since you went to the diner to warn me and then to the house to save me from those assholes and took me to your place and never left my side."

"Don't know what kinda asshole wouldn't do that…" he mumbled looking down, away from my eyes.

"Many of them wouldn't," I replied quickly. "I chose to stay close to you Daryl, you know I could have left on my own, maybe even survived alone, but I didn't even want to, I wanted to be with you. Merle was a package deal, but it was for you that I chose to stay, that I chose the three of us was a group that'd stay together. Ain't regretted it for a second," and then I placed a hand on his chest making him look at me again. "You might got trouble believing or understandin' it 'cause o' some crap people told ya your whole life, but I'll say it all until you believe it."

I laid down on my side again, nudging him to turn to me and he did, facing me with unsure eyes, but he said nothing. I knew he didn't feel like what I was saying was true, not someone like Daryl who believed himself to be nothing, who'd grown up with a brother like Merle who probably put him down at any chance he had and God knows what other crap he had to face growing up, but I was sure of what I was saying. I adored him, wanted him by my side for the whole of the end of the world and I was decided to make him see it eventually.

So now I just kissed him again, holding his face in my hand, tenderly, trying to convey my feelings with no words now. He took a moment but kissed me back, just as softly for a while until deepening it again, his hand on my hip pulling me closer once again. The kiss was quicker to heat up this time. Daryl's fingers tightened on my hip and sent electricity all over my body. My hand slid down on him, from his face to his neck and chest and rounding him up to his nape again, where I pressed and made him let out a low throaty sound, unconsciously imitated by me. Encouraged, Daryl moved his leg between my knees and I complied by parting them to give him room, our groins together now, his hand going down to press on my ass.

Damn, yes, that what I'd missed.

I moaned on his mouth at the feeling of him hard inside his pants and rubbed my thigh against it. He motioned me rhythmically and we moaned together against each other's lips.

"Fuck, girl…" Daryl groaned as he slid his lips from my mouth to my neck, burying his head between mine and the pillow.

"Can add that you're a fucking amazing kisser to all that," I smiled to the feeling of his tongue on my neck, goosebumps rising all over my body and my mouth finding his shoulder.

"Ya said somethin' 'bout maybe we should wait?" he asked with a smirk just before pulling my skin into his mouth, making me moan and softly bite on his shoulder.

"Got no idea why I said that," I moaned with a longer rub of my hip against his as my hand slid down from his nape to his upper back and then down, my palm opened as to feel as much of his skin as I could, the raised skin from his scars – which I'd seen briefly before when I entered the room.

But he stopped all he was doing with a strong, involuntary flinch, pulling away from me, his hand on my hip pushing me from him, not too far but fast, enough to startle me. I immediately let go of him, holding my hand up in the air, eyes wide. Daryl looked at me as if he didn't even know why he'd done it, shame instantly filling his eyes as he lowered them, his lips working on saying something but no words coming.

"I'm sorry," I whispered as softly as I could, even with my startled expression. "I'm sorry, didn't mean to – Won't touch if you don't want me to, I'm sorry."

"Sam, I –" he started but paused to clean his throat, still not looking at me. "You did nothin', I just… You don't wanna touch 'em."

"I don't mind touching 'em. Really. But won't if you don't want me to."

"Is not 'cause of you…"

"I know."

"Sorry…"

"Please don't apologize for that. It ain't your fault," I lowered my hand from where it was still raised between us to rest on his cheek, making him finally look back at me. "It was done to you. Not your fault."

"Jus' don't like being touched there."

"Then I won't. We're learning, Daryl… I'm learning what you like… And what you don't like, just as you'll learn me."

Daryl nodded weakly, eyes lowering again, still ashamed even with my reassurances, his hand light on my hip. I let my own hand slide from his face to his chest and rest there, right on his heart, feeling it was beating fast.

"Who was it? If you don't mind telling me…"

He was silent for a moment, unmoving, before groaning out, "My old man…"

I also paused before speaking again, because I didn't want my first reaction to be calling the old Dixon ugly names, but it ended up being "Son of a bitch" in a whisper all the same. Daryl looked up at my eyes at that, shame still there, but now also surprised.

"I understand you, Daryl…"

"Ya don't, Sam…" he disagreed gently. "You might wanna, but ya had a good daddy. Can't know it."

I didn't answer, just kept looking at him, my eyes soft once again at him for a long moment until I slowly started untangling myself from him. Silently, Daryl tried to hold me there so I wouldn't go, but I insisted, pushing him gently until he allowed me to sit up, now not an inch of him touching me. I missed it, wanted to go back. But this was important. He had to know.

I didn't go far. I stayed there, only turned to sit with my back to him, still close, and quietly crossed my arms and reached for the hem of my shirt, slowly but certainly pulling it up and off. My locks were momentarily lifted by the shirt only to fall back heavily over my back as I discarded the shirt on the bed. I looked back at Daryl over my shoulder and, my eyes not leaving his, reached back to slide the dreads over my opposite shoulder, showing him back, only the beige strap of my bra partially blocking the view.

His eyes left mine to look at what I was showing him. My skin was adorned with another tattoo on my upper back, just under my nape, a lotus flower with little, delicate chains and jewelry. Then, right under the strap of the bra, on my right side, was clearly as the day a burn scar tissue. I knew it looked quite healed because it had been there for a long time, with about 8 inches' long, rosy on my white skin.

"I may have had a good daddy," I started with a soft voice, still looking at him over my shoulder, and he looked at me, "but it don't mean I had a good momma."

He stared at my eyes for a moment longer and then looked again at the scar, a hand slowly reaching out to it but stopping before his fingertips could feel it.

"When?" he asked simply.

"Was four. Mom was tryin' to quit drinking then," I told him as she turned my head away, looking down at my hands. "I was being annoying or something, I don't know, kept calling her. She was cooking and telling me to shut up but I wouldn't, so she took this pot from the stove with boiling water and threw it at me. I guess I saw her reach for it and turned to run cause the water fell on my back."

"Shit…" Daryl whispered behind me and sat up, groaning a little as his stiches ached, but he rested his weigh on his hand and sat behind me.

"'S why dad got my custody," I told him. "They were separated already and he was not my real daddy but he'd already adopted, so when I was at the hospital he got my custody and left her for good."

"You saw her again?"

"She tried a few times after she got outta jail 'bout three years after. But she couldn't be alone with me and she got all angry and frustrated with it and never showed up again," I sighed heavily. "Years later I heard she'd gotten a new guy, had another baby and moved away from Georgia, but never knew anythin' more than that. But it don't matter," I looked over my shoulder at him again. "What I mean is I understand. I know what's like to get hurt by the person who should love you the most."

He nodded as he bit on his inner lip again. I couldn't really tell, bit he seemed to be feeling things, his eyes were a little shinier, but I couldn't look more to be sure because he lowered his forehead until it touched my upper back tattoo and kept looking at the scar, braving up enough to touch it with his fingertips. I shivered slightly, but it was because of his gentle touch, not the scar. He traced the entire expense of it gently and slowly, and I leaned back into him. He stopped touching the scar to hold my waist as he lifted his head and placed a kiss where his forehead had been.

It was only then that I noticed I was actually nearly naked, right there only on my bra, but strangely, as much as I'd wanted to be like that with him, I knew this didn't mean anything right now. This wasn't sexual, and at the moment I didn't even want it to be. I just wanted to be here with him, my skin on his, to hold him and feel him hold me.

Now he just motioned me to lay down on my side with him, my back to his chest, and he slid the sheet over our bodies, one arm pillowing my head and the other circling me to rest his hand once again on my baby bump. I held both his hands – one on the mattress and the other on my stomach, and sighed, closing my eyes.

"Thank you," I heard Daryl whisper behind me, close to my ear, and I snuggled back on him, my back flush against his chest. For a moment I thought of questioning what he was thanking me for, but I didn't. I knew then what he was grateful for. So I held up his arm under my head until his hand reached my mouth and planted a little kiss there.

"Don't gotta thank me… You 'n I… We're it."

Daryl lowered his head to my shoulder and pressed a lingering kiss there, the hand on my belly stroking me lightly, and said nothing. He held me tight, burying his face against my neck and I melted against his chest, and I could feel his heart hammering right there on my back.